You are so wise, Candace! It makes me cry when I imagine what it would be like to be a child with parents who were kind and soothing. I can’t even imagine it to be honest. It makes me sad for the child I was. Thank you for this.
I’m going to share this video with my son! (we’re committed allies in working to repair some past inter generational trauma and patterns of toxic shame) ❣️😉👌
What I understood is that.... After feeling, noticing, acknowledging the bad feelings: validate that what you're feeling rn is normal and feel it anddd!! I CAN handle it!!. After that, think: "What would make me feel better right now?".. "what can I do to make me feel better?" P.S. stay the beautiful fun you♡ Okay, this makes me feel better and I'm excited to try this when I get a bad feeling ^^ Thankyou SO much!!!! I'll watch more videos of yours! Thankyou!❤❤❤ Stay well you too♡
When I cried it was “stop crying or I’m gonna ground you”. Either that or I just kept crying until I stopped because of the pain in my head. Definitely going to try this moving forward.
I’m getting better at soothing myself. I allow negative emotions in, cry, journal, use affirmations, write gratitudes down to make myself feel better. Thankfully I don’t feel bad for too long, just a day or two and I’m back to be positive again :)
You are amazing Candace, you explain this perfectly, clarity. Sometimes we need to be reminded over and over until it's a new way automatically. Thank you 🙏 ☺️ ❤️😇🙌
Thank you so much! When I start feeling anxious I always leave and go to the beach that’s nearby. After a while I do feel better but I didn’t realize I wasn’t dealing with the emotion itself. Ive gotten really good at telling myself why I shouldn’t feel that way and that only works temporarily.
People are bulling me and have no one to talk about this issue even the police are not helping i feel unsafe instead they put charges on me I have to be my own friend because no one won't help me I know what Jesus felt alone dying on the cross i feel rejected by everyone
Thank you Candace. Getting better at witnessing or allowing overwhelming emotions rather than reacting to them, going to add in some helpful script like you mentioned. Makes so much sense, thank you
@@notavailable708 Hey there, well when you feel strong negative emotions, try to tell yourself I’m not my thoughts, I’m not my feelings, I can see that I feel this way though in this situation, what is it trying to tell me? It will probably be a trigger of something that happened when you were young that caused you to believe something negative about yourself that you can tell yourself you forgive yourself and love yourself and it’s ok that you feel this way. The strong emotions feel tended to after a while of doing that and you understand your reactions better. Hope that helps! Meditation helps slow things down too and helps you be able to do that
Once again. Amazing. This has helped me so much. and especially for the lgbt community we are rarely mirrored or soothed for the pain we experience. Thank you so much.
Hey Candace, such an important topic. And yep if we didn't learn it we don't know it's safe to feel whatever. BTW I love Saint being in with you. It makes your videos so very real and relatable especially when he plays up. 😆 You having sweet Honey Bee with you when I first started watching you grabbed my attention much more for sure.
Madonna Hooper I miss Honey Bee every single day! I’m so grateful you got to meet her! I refuse to keep Saint outside! He wants to learn her ways and even if he was outside, he would be banging on the door lol you know it! I adore you ❤️
powerful video--and your energy is great, but misdirected by where you are looking, causing a disconnect with the viewer. You have powerful eyes and that connection to "get through" to the viewer will be enhanced by proper alignment with the camera
A really awesome vid...but my ADHD kept getting distracted by your Dog banging around in the background...so it took away from your msg. BUT I'm still pushing through because you're explaining things so well.
Actually, i had a biggest panick attack last year (november-december) and then I don't remember how I dealt with it. And then now, it goes back again ang lmao, I really am feeling this feeling and trying to recognize what's the cause and something (actually i really feel like I am panicking but i after watching this i somehow remember how i got away from my issue last year). I always talk to myself and ask it if it is ok or why am i feeling down (I read that it's better to be conscious of yourself and talking with yourself is the best thing because you'll get a clearer clue). I am trying to be productive as well like writing stories and relating it to myself so that I could recognize myself more. Ps. The only cue of getting away with this is if I get a good night sleep for at least five or three consecutive days. (I've become light sleeper when pandemic happened and it becomes a material or a clue that I will be having a bad day or bad season) Pss. We all gonna rock this and conquer ourselves complete until we become solid and stronger. Psss. What I have been feeling right now is lighter than last year cuz i have options Pssss. We can do this!!! I always think that I will become like a sophisticated woman in 30s. Psssss. Im 18 btw
Hi Candace! I have a question: Are you an ENFJ? The MBTI-community is trying to figure out your type XD I'm an INFP XD All the love to you from germany!
I'm a 39 year old 👨 who has given into my over protective parents wants and needs time and time again! I don't have friends, depressed every single day, no self worth, and no self love, Im sick and tired of it help me please!! 😒😞😣😢😭😭
This is very insightful. I didn’t get this as a child, but I do have a two year old and a four year old. I’m really struggling trying to get them to understand their feelings. I know my two year old is still very young and maybe my four year old too. She’s very outgoing and expressive with all of her emotions and a lot of tantrums do happen. Would you say this is just an age thing? She’s super smart and I do touch in with how she is feeling often but she’s just extremely intense haha. I feel like I don’t get through?
Candace, how much do you think being a cis-gendered(assuming) white woman has impacted your ability to heal? Though I'm white, I was a young immigrant who is neurodiverse, who didn't come from money and who can't easily make it. The places where I'm not privileged have made it really difficult to heal, and these are elements of healing that so few people I follow seem to talk about.
is there a new tattoo on your arm? :) what does it say? couldnt read it,because its so fine-lined :D ...4 months old puppys are such jerks,I can tell :D :D
Never quite thought of it as "abandoning myself" but this is spot on.
My grandmother would tell me - "Ain't nothing wrong with you!" so that's what plays in my head. Working on accepting, dealing, and healing.
You are so wise, Candace! It makes me cry when I imagine what it would be like to be a child with parents who were kind and soothing. I can’t even imagine it to be honest. It makes me sad for the child I was. Thank you for this.
Same here, my eyes opened the last few years. Both my parents are narcissists
Hopefully you’re doing better
I’ve began on the journey of selflove
@@sp4rkle81 good for you! I wish you much luck on your journey. 💕
I’m going to share this video with my son! (we’re committed allies in working to repair some past inter generational trauma and patterns of toxic shame) ❣️😉👌
💌
A better looking she
What I understood is that.... After feeling, noticing, acknowledging the bad feelings: validate that what you're feeling rn is normal and feel it anddd!! I CAN handle it!!. After that, think: "What would make me feel better right now?".. "what can I do to make me feel better?" P.S. stay the beautiful fun you♡
Okay, this makes me feel better and I'm excited to try this when I get a bad feeling ^^
Thankyou SO much!!!! I'll watch more videos of yours! Thankyou!❤❤❤ Stay well you too♡
When I cried it was “stop crying or I’m gonna ground you”. Either that or I just kept crying until I stopped because of the pain in my head. Definitely going to try this moving forward.
I’m getting better at soothing myself. I allow negative emotions in, cry, journal, use affirmations, write gratitudes down to make myself feel better. Thankfully I don’t feel bad for too long, just a day or two and I’m back to be positive again :)
👏🏼👏🏼💚
I've been running away from my triggers since I can remember and I can't relax. I'm going to try it.
You are amazing Candace, you explain this perfectly, clarity. Sometimes we need to be reminded over and over until it's a new way automatically. Thank you 🙏 ☺️ ❤️😇🙌
58 years young just learning came across your channel by accident Thank you
Thank you so much! When I start feeling anxious I always leave and go to the beach that’s nearby. After a while I do feel better but I didn’t realize I wasn’t dealing with the emotion itself. Ive gotten really good at telling myself why I shouldn’t feel that way and that only works temporarily.
🙏 very good espessialy 6.30’ - > 🙏🙏🙏
EXCELLENT video, THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Any videos on excessive guilt/ fear of being a bad person from childhood programming?
You’re not a bad person, you’re just not wired correctly. You need to pull out the plugs and re-wire yourself.
I saw one. Empaths shadow
Tim Fletcher, Gabor Mate and try Wim Hof breathing
Thank you ❤️ this is exactly what I needed to hear!!
Exactly what I was gonna say! 😄👍💓
Same here🙏🤓❤️
Starts 4:19. Her method works.
I am feeling that I have to comfort myself cause all people in my life never comfort me even the guy I am with
People are bulling me and have no one to talk about this issue even the police are not helping i feel unsafe instead they put charges on me
I have to be my own friend because no one won't help me I know what Jesus felt alone dying on the cross i feel rejected by everyone
beautiful
Thank you so much Candace! This is exactly what I need to hear today. ❤️❤️💚🌹
Thank you Candace. Getting better at witnessing or allowing overwhelming emotions rather than reacting to them, going to add in some helpful script like you mentioned. Makes so much sense, thank you
How exactly 😣
@@notavailable708 Hey there, well when you feel strong negative emotions, try to tell yourself I’m not my thoughts, I’m not my feelings, I can see that I feel this way though in this situation, what is it trying to tell me? It will probably be a trigger of something that happened when you were young that caused you to believe something negative about yourself that you can tell yourself you forgive yourself and love yourself and it’s ok that you feel this way. The strong emotions feel tended to after a while of doing that and you understand your reactions better. Hope that helps! Meditation helps slow things down too and helps you be able to do that
@@winniewinkles wow thank youuuuu. Do you think it'll help even when I'm around toxic people?
Grateful for this!
Once again. Amazing. This has helped me so much. and especially for the lgbt community we are rarely mirrored or soothed for the pain we experience. Thank you so much.
Thank you I’m 9 and I have steick parents
thank you thank you thank you!!!
I feel so incredibly grateful for finding you and this message 💗
It's easy to explain how a person should feel making it work is a hard thing to do.
thanks for the video
Wow I really needed this last night/early morning. Thank you
Really needed this thanx
I love get real with the way we feel. Repeating affirmations you don't feel are frustrating.
Thank you
You’re good
👍👍 Yeah good point.
Hey Candace, such an important topic. And yep if we didn't learn it we don't know it's safe to feel whatever. BTW I love Saint being in with you. It makes your videos so very real and relatable especially when he plays up. 😆 You having sweet Honey Bee with you when I first started watching you grabbed my attention much more for sure.
Madonna Hooper I miss Honey Bee every single day! I’m so grateful you got to meet her! I refuse to keep Saint outside! He wants to learn her ways and even if he was outside, he would be banging on the door lol you know it! I adore you ❤️
@@CandacevanDell I get it lovely. And of course you miss Honey Bee. 💜💜🐕🙏
Thank you so much for your content! You have helped me process so much over the past few years. ❤️
Thank you so much for posting this. I saw this right as I was about to abandon myself. V much needed.
I feel so understood when I watch your videos
Thank you.💚
powerful video--and your energy is great, but misdirected by where you are looking, causing a disconnect with the viewer. You have powerful eyes and that connection to "get through" to the viewer will be enhanced by proper alignment with the camera
This is extremely helpful information
thank you, this has been helpful.
Perfect sense u feel that way
Namaste
This video is soooo powerful I loved it!!!
That's very helpful! Thankyou!!!
A really awesome vid...but my ADHD kept getting distracted by your Dog banging around in the background...so it took away from your msg. BUT I'm still pushing through because you're explaining things so well.
Oh okay good...the dog got sent out haha. Was so hard to concentrate on a serious msg when all I could hear is growling lol.
I love u so much!
Thank you this is me. ❤
Just subbed. 💖 I need to soothe my own Emotions. 😊
Actually, i had a biggest panick attack last year (november-december) and then I don't remember how I dealt with it. And then now, it goes back again ang lmao, I really am feeling this feeling and trying to recognize what's the cause and something (actually i really feel like I am panicking but i after watching this i somehow remember how i got away from my issue last year). I always talk to myself and ask it if it is ok or why am i feeling down (I read that it's better to be conscious of yourself and talking with yourself is the best thing because you'll get a clearer clue). I am trying to be productive as well like writing stories and relating it to myself so that I could recognize myself more.
Ps. The only cue of getting away with this is if I get a good night sleep for at least five or three consecutive days. (I've become light sleeper when pandemic happened and it becomes a material or a clue that I will be having a bad day or bad season)
Pss. We all gonna rock this and conquer ourselves complete until we become solid and stronger.
Psss. What I have been feeling right now is lighter than last year cuz i have options
Pssss. We can do this!!! I always think that I will become like a sophisticated woman in 30s.
Psssss. Im 18 btw
All the things ♥️ ;-) Thank you!!
Thank you Candace! Great helpful video. 🙏💞 And I love ur necklaces! Looks great 😊
Hi new sub . Love ur videos this is my second vid. Blessings. ✨
Another great video, very helpful. Thank you!
Good advice.
Terrific
Yesssss so perfect! 🙏💚
New Subie TFS!
That we can- get truth
Is your negative emotion your inner child speaking to you?
Yes most likely our inner child asking to be nurtured
Is crying alone a self-soothing technique?
It's easy. Buy a ring with obsidian.
Thank you, perfect timing!
Can you please make EFT for father wound
When I feel triggered it throws the whole rest of me completely off
Hi Candace!
I have a question: Are you an ENFJ? The MBTI-community is trying to figure out your type XD I'm an INFP XD
All the love to you from germany!
I'm a 39 year old 👨 who has given into my over protective parents wants and needs time and time again! I don't have friends, depressed every single day, no self worth, and no self love, Im sick and tired of it help me please!! 😒😞😣😢😭😭
This is very insightful. I didn’t get this as a child, but I do have a two year old and a four year old. I’m really struggling trying to get them to understand their feelings. I know my two year old is still very young and maybe my four year old too. She’s very outgoing and expressive with all of her emotions and a lot of tantrums do happen. Would you say this is just an age thing? She’s super smart and I do touch in with how she is feeling often but she’s just extremely intense haha. I feel like I don’t get through?
yeah i have a food and shopping addiction now. eeek. i totally do not know how to self soothe.
5:07
Candace, how much do you think being a cis-gendered(assuming) white woman has impacted your ability to heal? Though I'm white, I was a young immigrant who is neurodiverse, who didn't come from money and who can't easily make it. The places where I'm not privileged have made it really difficult to heal, and these are elements of healing that so few people I follow seem to talk about.
Some people just don't have healthy emotional detachment abilities.
Well I’m glad you seem to have everything figured out 😂
@@stephaniecallahan5356 I don't and did not even suggest that i did.
dseer13 “some people” seemed like it didn’t include you... whatever, hope you get ur shit together then 😘
@Stephanie Callahan It’s a bit sad to seek attention in a comment section under an attachment video... be respectful.
Nothing healthy about detachment abilities whatever the fuck that is - sounds like abandonment and neglect which is abuse
You're really beautiful.
Fucking amazing video
Drive me nuts when I hear from the other person, oh I’m sorry 😐
Yeah its easy to say words, but people dont want to take action
Here is as shorter video on how to convert negative emotions into a positive one!
ruclips.net/video/Bz9LUexlLZQ/видео.html
is there a new tattoo on your arm? :) what does it say? couldnt read it,because its so fine-lined :D ...4 months old puppys are such jerks,I can tell :D :D
Candace next time, simply let the dog outside, befor you do your videos so he does not disrupt the focus on your videos !!!
Thomas Valenta thanks for your opinion but he likes to be in my office and he doesn’t disrupt me. I like to go with the natural flow.
@@CandacevanDell Candace can you possibly Re Do the episode I missed half the message during that part !!!
Thomas Valenta no but you can feel free to rewatch it as often as you like