Imagine if home invaders had to announce that they're there. Kind of like how the cops have to say if they're the cops or not lol. "Anyone there?" "Fuck, yeah im here."
OMG hilarious. I'm a single mum 5'2.5 was woken by a strange noise I don't know what I was thinking but I jumped out of bed ran to the living room with no hesitation turned the light on. Upon discovering no one was there the realization kicked in like "what the heck was I planning to do if someone was there". It hadn't even occurred to me.
A lot of times if they realize someone is home they will scurry but it’s always a good idea to always assume they are armed. Cameras everywhere is a great way to assess the situation
@@nazzyhassan1496 host is the operative word in my sentence. In this case, one was host the other was a guest. Helps to know the English language my friend. Words mean things.
Better be ghostloading. Average home invasions now carry multiple assailants. Tube capacity is 7ish? In a shorty 4? Plus I ain’t racking shit. Corner clearing with a light and 30 full spice rounds ready to open up a body cavity.
I think this is a misconception. I would rather just have a live shell. and move kinda silently in case the invaders have guns themselves. I'd kinda rather get the drop on them than announce my presence and get lit up coming around the corner
I had a home invader once on a Saturday at 2am, woke me up from a deep sleep with repeated thuds downstairs (he was smashing through my backdoor with a large crowbar). From waking up to deciding the thumps and breaking sounds were a serious threat was just a second or two, and I went straight downstairs with slippers and a pistol (I chose the .22, because I was ready to shoot and had no time for ear protection, plus thought my grip might be weak from just waking up). I didn't turn on the lights, so I surprised the guy from 10 feet away with a pistol drawn on him, at which point he dropped the crowbar and jumped backwards out the door and over the fence incredibly fast. Being armed according to the 2nd amendment made 100% of a difference for me in this situation, I'm glad I didn't have to face the decision to go downstairs with something stupid like a baseball bat, or I would be crowbarred to death.
Glad it worked out for you. Though, to actually determine whether having guns in your house is ultimately a good or bad idea is more of a statistical question in which various outcomes of different situations are considered.
@@Tzadeck lies, damned lies and statistics.....if you're a well trained, responsible firearm owner, those statistics you're referring to are a moot point.
This is so funny!! They should do a teamup Show. With sets and props. Cause I def wanna see Mulaney doing Miss piggy Karate while Theo tries kiddo Jiu-Jitsu!!
I actually have recent experience with home invaders (one of them being an ex boyfriend as weird as that sounds) so I relate to John when he said it's something he thinks about lol home invaders are more annoying than frightening though. At least in my case.
Just buy a gun, it's not complicated. Don't say you've got a gun, wait until they break your door down then start blasting. Move to a state with Stand Your Ground laws is my suggestion. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Baby J's Netflix special was great. All the best John. My deal is just say no... but not before I ask "whatchu got?" So, I usually just say no. But sometimes... I'd be a fool to just say no. It's about balance maybe.
I watched you for the first time today, wow how old are you ?, You talk like a pre -teen valley girl. " Like I saw this Like", I will go like and be like ,Like I'll do like um, Like yeah you know like ? LIKE LIKE LIKE
bit.ly/theovonclips
Best comedian of all time
Theo 🙏❤
Love you Theo, you the real one
Gotta watch out for them water bandits dude !!!
Theo said, "I have a gun?" 😂😂😂
Caught that 😂
Brilliant 😂
Lmao
Literally best part of the video. “I have a gun?..” “see I would mess that up”
Fucking hilarious lol. I have a gun???
"I think about home invasion ... most of the day". -John Mulaney
Like who says that 😂😂
He’s just throwing down some bread crumbs for Theo to enjoy. Great interview.
Haha what a badass
@@YdoIneedahandle869 😂😂
The joy of being famous... constant fear for your life.
these two are just explaining the fear that comes up after a solo coke binge.
So true aside from the obvious of abstaining how do you deal with the paranoia or the random noises in your ear?!
"I have a gun?" His inflection sent me😂
"I'm tough, and in addition to being tough, I get scared at night."
Congratulations, you understood the joke... or?
@@KaninTuzi the unneccesarily display of superiority or whatever in ur response made me dry heave
@@natsbigworld Hopefully you will get over it
@@KaninTuzi eventually but i will spend many long years thinking about you my love
Love, love, love John trying to pretend like this is a normal convo.
Theo and Mulaney are the duo I didn’t know I needed
I crack up every time he says “Not like this!”😂😂😂
“And I said out loud …Not like this “ 😂😂😂 this is the comedic precision I used to love John for
Imagine if home invaders had to announce that they're there. Kind of like how the cops have to say if they're the cops or not lol. "Anyone there?" "Fuck, yeah im here."
😂
"it's an asian guy " 😂
Damn Theo. 4:20
Lmao Theo: “I have a.. gun?”
OMG hilarious. I'm a single mum 5'2.5 was woken by a strange noise I don't know what I was thinking but I jumped out of bed ran to the living room with no hesitation turned the light on. Upon discovering no one was there the realization kicked in like "what the heck was I planning to do if someone was there".
It hadn't even occurred to me.
A lot of times if they realize someone is home they will scurry but it’s always a good idea to always assume they are armed. Cameras everywhere is a great way to assess the situation
When Theo says “ I have a gun?” Lol. He’s so cute.
My kitten just plucked on my ukulele in the middle of the day and I had a mini panic attack. 😂
Get that guy in the booth.
@@SuperTed. It was pleasant after I turned around and realized it was her🎶💖
Ok
This sounds like two ten year old’s conversation while trying to sleep in their basement pillow fort.
Imagine being found dead with a Kardashian shirt on. How embarrassing.
These two should host a podcast
they just did
@@nazzyhassan1496 host is the operative word in my sentence. In this case, one was host the other was a guest. Helps to know the English language my friend. Words mean things.
@@YdoIneedahandle869 u ok??
John "Neutralize the Target" Mulaney
"I'll turn and like say: HEY, I'M HERE!" LMFAO Honestly that's pretty close to what I would say... 🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Someone's IN here!... SOMEone's in here!" -John Mulaney
“I HAVE A GUN?!” 😂😂😂
Love you homie ❤️ God bless yall
4:09 Miss Piggy karate😭🤣
BEST PODCAST IN THE GAME
Home defense 101 - a pump shotgun with an empty chamber. Rack a shell into the chamber and that sound is all an invader will need to hear.
Better be ghostloading. Average home invasions now carry multiple assailants. Tube capacity is 7ish? In a shorty 4?
Plus I ain’t racking shit. Corner clearing with a light and 30 full spice rounds ready to open up a body cavity.
I think this is a misconception. I would rather just have a live shell. and move kinda silently in case the invaders have guns themselves. I'd kinda rather get the drop on them than announce my presence and get lit up coming around the corner
I love their chemistry 😍
Oh man the I have a gun moment is still making me giggle.
This conversation is clearly between two former coke users 😅
Not like this.. not like this.
Best matrix quote
I had a home invader once on a Saturday at 2am, woke me up from a deep sleep with repeated thuds downstairs (he was smashing through my backdoor with a large crowbar). From waking up to deciding the thumps and breaking sounds were a serious threat was just a second or two, and I went straight downstairs with slippers and a pistol (I chose the .22, because I was ready to shoot and had no time for ear protection, plus thought my grip might be weak from just waking up). I didn't turn on the lights, so I surprised the guy from 10 feet away with a pistol drawn on him, at which point he dropped the crowbar and jumped backwards out the door and over the fence incredibly fast. Being armed according to the 2nd amendment made 100% of a difference for me in this situation, I'm glad I didn't have to face the decision to go downstairs with something stupid like a baseball bat, or I would be crowbarred to death.
Great! More people need to exercise their rights.
@@RealMTBAddict this.
Glad it worked out for you. Though, to actually determine whether having guns in your house is ultimately a good or bad idea is more of a statistical question in which various outcomes of different situations are considered.
@@Tzadeck OP’s life is likely drastically different without a gun. Guns in the home are a good idea when correctly used for self defense.
@@Tzadeck lies, damned lies and statistics.....if you're a well trained, responsible firearm owner, those statistics you're referring to are a moot point.
This is so funny!! They should do a teamup Show. With sets and props. Cause I def wanna see Mulaney doing Miss piggy Karate while Theo tries kiddo Jiu-Jitsu!!
4:25 THEO 😂😂😂
“I’ve never been murderer by a 🤡…but…”😂
I literally check all the closets and under beds several times per day if I’m home alone… and I’m 42 years old 😂
It’s an Asian guy 😂😂
Why would bobby lee be breaking in a house 😂
I just keep a replica lightsaber by my bed in hopes the burglar thinks it's real.
“And OJ Simpson’s attorney “ hahaha
1:53 i was a greenbelt at 4🥱
i didnt know I needed to hear theo say, I have a gun.
Bahaha he WOULD go out like that.
*I HAVE A GUN ?* 🤣🤣🤣
4:29 it’s an Asian guy🤣😭
"...it's an Asian guy..."
I lost it at the Asian remark lololol
“I HAVE A GUN?”
''I have a gun?''
hard to ask for a better odd couple
Get a dog. Cheapest best alarm. The biggest bonus you g3t a best friend
sometimes i think, man if i die what will they say when they find the multiple fleshlights...
Just have your wallet ready to hand over 😂
Pennywise changing his balloon color to yellow
First 😂😂😂❤❤ btw I’m coming to ur show
I actually have recent experience with home invaders (one of them being an ex boyfriend as weird as that sounds) so I relate to John when he said it's something he thinks about lol home invaders are more annoying than frightening though. At least in my case.
Maybe you should buy a gun instead of saying you have a gun lol
"its an asian guy" hehhehehee
“It was an Asian guy”
Why does he have that shirt lmao
As an asian, yeah fuck, howd u know it was me
This was just a whole lot of nothing 🤣
Art The Clown enters the chat:
Mulaney is proper... carrying sloppy theo
I have a gun?
No homo to the first comment 😂😂
I like to turn on my police siren app
If they think Cops are outside could turn into a hostage situation.
I like the app called the 2nd Amendment
I likes the Kroll show with him and Kroll but sorry I gave big mouth a chance and just got too creepy after season 1 or 2
Just buy a gun, it's not complicated. Don't say you've got a gun, wait until they break your door down then start blasting.
Move to a state with Stand Your Ground laws is my suggestion.
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Why not just own a house shotgun
I think you could take on most 7 year olds
If you're scared buy a dog.
Not like this 🤣
How the fuck did Mulaney pull Olivia Munn and start a family?
She probably thinks he is funny. That goes a long way.
Ask Cosby
@@RealMTBAddictweird comparison
Baby J's Netflix special was great. All the best John. My deal is just say no... but not before I ask "whatchu got?"
So, I usually just say no. But sometimes... I'd be a fool to just say no.
It's about balance maybe.
Lololol to people actually actually have these thoughts?
I literally think always, it's some random wood popping or car or something
You in America boys. Don't yell "I have a gun!"
Just actually have a gun...
I watched you for the first time today, wow how old are you ?, You talk like a pre -teen valley girl. " Like I saw this Like", I will go like and be like ,Like I'll do like um, Like yeah you know like ? LIKE LIKE LIKE
Hell I leave my doors open at night hoping someone comes in ,
I have a gun! 😩😩😭😂
I don't buy it 🤡