My soon to be ex wife of 20 years earned her Master’s in mental heath counseling 3 years ago and I do not have a master’s or even a bachelors degree. I barely graduated high school, but she is most definitely a covert narc. For years I was so so confused by her bizarre outlandish behavior, until I started stumbling on to this stuff. It’s brutal being on this side. My dream would be for her to be accountable, humble and honest with her family, few friends and all her guy friends. Tell them all how you lied about me being a monster of a father, husband and man. You had to make me a monster, because if I was a good dad, husband and human being, then what would that make you? It’s been a few months no contact now and I’m so so angry at her for what she did to me and our children.
@@flordepelotudo It really is amazing how similar people feel when dealing with these types. While narcissists all have different tastes, their behaviour towards others is almost identical. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry to say though that they will never ever reflect on what they have done. Their disorder necessitates that they never acknowledge any wrong doing. You will forever be the problem in their eyes. It sucks because I was desperate for my abuser to realise too that they were in the wrong but all I got was more abuse, denial and mind games. They will double, triple, infinite down on their behaviour even after they self implode and lose everything because there is no personality behind their dead eyes to redeem.
@@flordepelotudo I know without a doubt that you know. Not closest friends or family or therapists can grasp the crazy, maddening, indescribable feelings that this situation creates. I’m so so scared to go to the other side of this, that’s what doesn’t make sense. Why would I be scared and refuse to leave a prison? I make myself crazy with my thoughts. Thank you for understanding, it truly helps. I just want her to understand. But the truth is, I need to fully accept and understand that she is incapable of understanding the way most of us do.
@@ageckomiller are you divorced? Is there light at the end of this nightmare? There needs to be a support group for this crazy shit because sometimes it’s brutal. Even no contact, now it’s just my memories torturing me. When I get through, I’m going to help those who are still in the dark.
Fucking FINALLY! It's infuriating that I paid so much for my degree and studied under multiple PhDs for 4 years, yet never once heard of covert narcissism!
Hopefully with your degree you could easily understand and apply the concept… It’s not training, it’s studying and you’re expected to learn and seek out information yourself.
Reactive abuse may lead to displaced aggression depending I believe in the stability or lack of stability of the environment. Picture the person who had a bad encounter at the workplace and reacts to said trauma by going home and take it out on someone who lives there. If I am not clear on the term of reactive abuse please be so kind as to respond to my take on your comment please.
@@captaron how can you "easily understand" things you HAVEN'T BEEN TAUGHT?? "Expected to learn" that's why he went to school..to LEARN. "Seek out information yourself"...duh again you PAY to go to school to be taught what is in the textbooks, written by experts. Your msg is all non talk talk designed to piss ppl off with it's blatant stupidity. You're not half as smart as you think you are, that's what your comment screams.
Thank you for your wisdom God bless you in all ways. I'm facing an entire group against me who have narcissistic personality disorder. Ive struggled to even be in the same room with them. I was placed in the centre of their smear campaign. I have been praying my way out of hell and studying them to avoid reacting to their poison or becoming like them out of resentment.
Dear Dr. Sam, I direct everyone to you and your expertise on this crucial subject. Humanity suffers for lack of wisdom. The amount of dedication that you have on the subject is admirable and extensive. I found you 💖 on my computer about seven years ago and you changed my life for the better. Educated me enough in a short period of time to get out of the narcissists life. For that I am extremely grateful!!!! The world is lucky to have you here! Thank You! Thank You! For all you have shared and I might add that your philanthropy is off the 🪝 hook! Hope someday to be computer literate enough to speak with you . I missed your last offer to do exactly that. If you are going to offer again and you mention it in your videos I will be sure to find a way to get the opportunity to talk with you. I hardly ever miss your videos. You saved my life! Again , Thank you for being you! Respectfully, Me
Amazing material. Cant wait for antisocial :D I always insisted that its more like 6-8%, adding all the rest, no wonder B cluster is so common. Thank you Professor!
Alexithymia is mentioned only once in DSM-V [428 Sexual Dysfunctions] Risk and Prognostic Factors Temperamental. Neurotic personality traits may be associated with erectile problems in college students, and submissive personality traits may be associated with erectile problems in men age 40 years and older. Alexithymia (i.e., deficits in cognitive processing of emotions) is common in men diagnosed with “psychogenic” erectile dysfunction. Erectile problems are common in men diagnosed with depression and posttraumatic stress disorder. Course modifiers. Risk factors for acquired erectile disorder include age, smoking tobacco, lack of physical exercise, diabetes, and decreased desire. Alexithymia is not mentioned in DSM-V-TR
“Man is a river, man is in flux.” Poetic. Your closing comment re Medical business and DSM committee are priceless. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I may have a nice suggestion since science doesn't sum up some topics completely. Then this is a nice topic where you can put your name in a complete version, with a Hierarchy Diagram, etc. The defense mechanisms are not complete because the psychotic defense mechanisms are not involved and are therefore not complete. That has a lot to do with Traumatized Right Hemisphere and the inability to Mentalize, which is an unconscious process that has stagnated, Alexithymia, Disgust Sensitivity, Impulsivity, and perhaps most importantly it is linked to Reactive Aggression/Affective Violence and Proactive Aggression/Predatory Violence, Abuse, Maltreatment, Deprivation, Childhood Adversity, (Parental) Coercive Control, (Parental) Intimate Terrorism, Aggression Scale, Anger Scale, Hostility Scale, Maladaptive Behavior Scale, Maybe extend it with other survival strategies & survival mechanisms with a destructive impact on relationships and young children, like double binds, Cognitive Distortions, Hostile Attribution Bias, and the transgenerational transmission in the child development, Insecure Attachment (intense disorganization and insecurity, ambivalent/preoccupied/disorganized attachment parenting styles), Parentification, Basic Mistrust, Parental Alienation, Folie A Deux, (Complex) Posttraumatic Stress Disorders, etc. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), along with related terms such as childhood trauma and maltreatment, refer to a range of negative childhood experiences childhood trauma, and adversity as all forms of physical and emotional abuse, neglect, or exploitation that result in actual or potential harm to a child. ACEs may include but are not limited to, physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, bullying, parental death or loss, neglect, and poverty. Projective Identification, Unconscious Communication, and the Right Brain www.integra-cpd.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/cpd-resources/Schore_2010_Projective_Identification_Unconscious_Communication_Right_Brain.pdf Right brain in emotional communications can offer us a deeper understanding of the mechanism of affective communications within projective identification. p-c-c.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Schore-Clinical-Implications.pdf PROJECTIVE IDENTIFICATION AS RIGHT-BRAIN-TO-RIGHT-BRAIN TRANSFERENCE COUNTERTRANSFERENCE COMMUNICATIONS stopthestorm.org/attachment/notes-on-schore/notes-on-schore-social-referencing/schore-on-projective-identification/ The Right Brain Implicit Self - Allan Schore www.allanschore.com/pdf/Schore%20Know%20Not%20Know10.pdf Dyscivilization and dysmentalization. Psychoanalytically, the derailment of the civilizing process ugp.rug.nl/ast/article/view/24001 Recent Empirical Research and Methodologies in Defense Mechanisms www.frontiersin.org/research-topics/13873/recent-empirical-research-and-methodologies-in-defense-mechanisms The Hierarchy of Defense Mechanisms: Assessing Defensive Functioning With the Defense Mechanisms Rating Scales Q-Sort www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.718440/full IdentifyingPsychotic Defenses in a clinical Interview www.sakkyndig.com/psykologi/artvit/berney2014.pdf TOWARD DEVELOPING A SCALE TO EMPIRICALLY MEASURE PSYCHOTIC DEFENSE MECHANISMS booksc.org/book/39209380/83667a Defense mechanisms in adolescents at high risk of developing psychosis: an empirical investigation www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7451313/pdf/ripppo-23-1-456.pdf The Right Brain Implicit Self Lies at the Core of Psychoanalysis yellowbrickprogram.com/papers/the-right-brain-implicit-self-lies-at-the-core-of-psychoanalysis/ Psychodynamic approaches to violence www.cambridge.org/core/journals/bjpsych-advances/article/psychodynamic-approaches-to-violence/6233CC07BA6FC91B4C84D84A87C0CAFE
many of the symptoms you described i relate with. is there a questionnaire i can fill in to determine if I am a narcissist? i believe i have empathy. and do my best to be humble yet I do display many of the described symptoms in this video. I have had a difficult time fitting into social groups, especially work related ones. I truly am grateful for the expertise you offer at no cost here online. best regards to you and Minnie
I'm at the 30 minute mark and seems like you've described the most attention seeking personalities on social media. I have several of your videos in separate tabs on the subject of social media and curious if you will discuss whether social media is a tool for those with existing personality disorders, or if those who grew up on social media has lead to personality disorders. An analogy would be trauma-based disorders like PTSD would not exist in a world without trauma, would that lead to some disorders that did not exist before social media? One example is the 'mass sociogenic illness' recently appeared with followers replicating disorders (tiktok users imitating tourettes or DID) - or is this something that has always existed, for example salem witch trials?
Hopefully police and courts will be educated about narcissist disorder, domestic violence is a huge problem.coercive control laws needed drastically.
I think you and the whole of society should be more than extremely careful there. Abusers will (ab)use laws.
The whole personality disorder phenomenon began being defined in courts. These people almost always end up there in some capacity.
I know 4 people that are 💯% narcissistic personality disorder, yet never got diagnosed with NPD, they never seek or been to a psychologist.
If they do they are unable to be vulnerable, honest, or accountable. Those issues make it highly unlikely that they will be diagnosed.
My soon to be ex wife of 20 years earned her Master’s in mental heath counseling 3 years ago and I do not have a master’s or even a bachelors degree. I barely graduated high school, but she is most definitely a covert narc. For years I was so so confused by her bizarre outlandish behavior, until I started stumbling on to this stuff. It’s brutal being on this side. My dream would be for her to be accountable, humble and honest with her family, few friends and all her guy friends. Tell them all how you lied about me being a monster of a father, husband and man. You had to make me a monster, because if I was a good dad, husband and human being, then what would that make you? It’s been a few months no contact now and I’m so so angry at her for what she did to me and our children.
@@flordepelotudo It really is amazing how similar people feel when dealing with these types. While narcissists all have different tastes, their behaviour towards others is almost identical. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry to say though that they will never ever reflect on what they have done. Their disorder necessitates that they never acknowledge any wrong doing. You will forever be the problem in their eyes. It sucks because I was desperate for my abuser to realise too that they were in the wrong but all I got was more abuse, denial and mind games. They will double, triple, infinite down on their behaviour even after they self implode and lose everything because there is no personality behind their dead eyes to redeem.
26 years with my covert wife. So disturbing and disgusting that so much time was wasted.
Piece to all who have suffered from this disorder and damnation to those who have inflicted it.
@@flordepelotudo I know without a doubt that you know. Not closest friends or family or therapists can grasp the crazy, maddening, indescribable feelings that this situation creates. I’m so so scared to go to the other side of this, that’s what doesn’t make sense. Why would I be scared and refuse to leave a prison? I make myself crazy with my thoughts. Thank you for understanding, it truly helps. I just want her to understand. But the truth is, I need to fully accept and understand that she is incapable of understanding the way most of us do.
@@ageckomiller are you divorced? Is there light at the end of this nightmare? There needs to be a support group for this crazy shit because sometimes it’s brutal. Even no contact, now it’s just my memories torturing me. When I get through, I’m going to help those who are still in the dark.
Fucking FINALLY! It's infuriating that I paid so much for my degree and studied under multiple PhDs for 4 years, yet never once heard of covert narcissism!
Hopefully with your degree you could easily understand and apply the concept…
It’s not training, it’s studying and you’re expected to learn and seek out information yourself.
Reactive abuse may lead to displaced aggression depending I believe in the stability or lack of stability of the environment. Picture the person who had a bad encounter at the workplace and reacts to said trauma by going home and take it out on someone who lives there.
If I am not clear on the term of reactive abuse please be so kind as to respond to my take on your comment please.
To Absolut: my comment above is to you. Most sincerely. Me
@@captaron how can you "easily understand" things you HAVEN'T BEEN TAUGHT?? "Expected to learn" that's why he went to school..to LEARN. "Seek out information yourself"...duh again you PAY to go to school to be taught what is in the textbooks, written by experts. Your msg is all non talk talk designed to piss ppl off with it's blatant stupidity. You're not half as smart as you think you are, that's what your comment screams.
Give them a letter pointing out the new changes and asking them their view on the topics
Professor Vaknin, thank you.
Thank you for your wisdom God bless you in all ways. I'm facing an entire group against me who have narcissistic personality disorder. Ive struggled to even be in the same room with them. I was placed in the centre of their smear campaign. I have been praying my way out of hell and studying them to avoid reacting to their poison or becoming like them out of resentment.
After being born from one, I am glad the information is in the DSM-5 (TR) finally.
Me too buddy.
Same f%#÷in boat
Dear Dr. Sam,
I direct everyone to you and your expertise on this crucial subject.
Humanity suffers for lack of wisdom.
The amount of dedication that you have on the subject is admirable and extensive. I found you 💖 on my computer about seven years ago and you changed my life for the better.
Educated me enough in a short period of time to get out of the narcissists life. For that I am extremely grateful!!!!
The world is lucky to have you here! Thank You!
Thank You! For all you have shared and I might add that your philanthropy is off the 🪝 hook!
Hope someday to be computer literate enough to speak with you .
I missed your last offer to do exactly that.
If you are going to offer again and you mention it in your videos I will be sure to find a way to get the opportunity to talk with you. I hardly ever miss your videos.
You saved my life!
Again , Thank you for being you! Respectfully,
Me
I can't thank you enough professor for what you are doing!! 👏👏🙏🙏👍
Amazing material. Cant wait for antisocial :D I always insisted that its more like 6-8%, adding all the rest, no wonder B cluster is so common. Thank you Professor!
Bout damn time… they are the most destructive force on Earth
My narcissistic father always said “don’t ask, don’t tell” that was his policy in romantic relationships
Thanks for keeping us abreast of things!😄
Dude how did I just find you. How did you divine all of this insight. How literally
Alexithymia is mentioned only once in DSM-V [428 Sexual Dysfunctions]
Risk and Prognostic Factors
Temperamental. Neurotic personality traits may be associated with erectile problems in college students, and submissive personality traits may be associated with erectile problems in men age 40 years and older. Alexithymia (i.e., deficits in cognitive processing of emotions) is common in men diagnosed with “psychogenic” erectile dysfunction. Erectile problems are common in men diagnosed with depression and posttraumatic stress disorder.
Course modifiers. Risk factors for acquired erectile disorder include age, smoking tobacco, lack of physical exercise, diabetes, and decreased desire.
Alexithymia is not mentioned in DSM-V-TR
I like looking up your words. 😂
Never change!
ABOUT TIME
So my sister made it into the DSM, great.
“Man is a river, man is in flux.” Poetic. Your closing comment re Medical business and DSM committee are priceless. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
lol You brought the good jokes today.
What page does it mention more women are diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder over men ?
I may have a nice suggestion since science doesn't sum up some topics completely.
Then this is a nice topic where you can put your name in a complete version, with a Hierarchy Diagram, etc.
The defense mechanisms are not complete because the psychotic defense mechanisms are not involved and are therefore not complete.
That has a lot to do with Traumatized Right Hemisphere and the inability to Mentalize, which is an unconscious process that has stagnated, Alexithymia, Disgust Sensitivity, Impulsivity, and perhaps most importantly it is linked to Reactive Aggression/Affective Violence and Proactive Aggression/Predatory Violence, Abuse, Maltreatment, Deprivation, Childhood Adversity, (Parental) Coercive Control, (Parental) Intimate Terrorism, Aggression Scale, Anger Scale, Hostility Scale, Maladaptive Behavior Scale, Maybe extend it with other survival strategies & survival mechanisms with a destructive impact on relationships and young children, like double binds, Cognitive Distortions, Hostile Attribution Bias, and the transgenerational transmission in the child development, Insecure Attachment (intense disorganization and insecurity, ambivalent/preoccupied/disorganized attachment parenting styles), Parentification, Basic Mistrust, Parental Alienation, Folie A Deux, (Complex) Posttraumatic Stress Disorders, etc.
Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), along with related terms such as childhood trauma and maltreatment, refer to a range of negative childhood experiences childhood trauma, and adversity as all forms of physical and emotional abuse, neglect, or exploitation that result in actual or potential harm to a child. ACEs may include but are not limited to, physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, bullying, parental death or loss, neglect, and poverty.
Projective Identification, Unconscious Communication, and the Right Brain
www.integra-cpd.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/cpd-resources/Schore_2010_Projective_Identification_Unconscious_Communication_Right_Brain.pdf
Right brain in emotional communications can offer us a deeper understanding of the mechanism of affective communications within projective identification.
p-c-c.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Schore-Clinical-Implications.pdf
PROJECTIVE IDENTIFICATION AS RIGHT-BRAIN-TO-RIGHT-BRAIN TRANSFERENCE COUNTERTRANSFERENCE COMMUNICATIONS
stopthestorm.org/attachment/notes-on-schore/notes-on-schore-social-referencing/schore-on-projective-identification/
The Right Brain Implicit Self - Allan Schore
www.allanschore.com/pdf/Schore%20Know%20Not%20Know10.pdf
Dyscivilization and dysmentalization. Psychoanalytically, the derailment of the civilizing process
ugp.rug.nl/ast/article/view/24001
Recent Empirical Research and Methodologies in Defense Mechanisms
www.frontiersin.org/research-topics/13873/recent-empirical-research-and-methodologies-in-defense-mechanisms
The Hierarchy of Defense Mechanisms: Assessing Defensive Functioning With the Defense Mechanisms Rating Scales Q-Sort
www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.718440/full
IdentifyingPsychotic Defenses in a clinical Interview
www.sakkyndig.com/psykologi/artvit/berney2014.pdf
TOWARD DEVELOPING A SCALE TO EMPIRICALLY MEASURE PSYCHOTIC DEFENSE MECHANISMS
booksc.org/book/39209380/83667a
Defense mechanisms in adolescents at high risk of developing psychosis: an empirical investigation
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7451313/pdf/ripppo-23-1-456.pdf
The Right Brain Implicit Self Lies at the Core of Psychoanalysis
yellowbrickprogram.com/papers/the-right-brain-implicit-self-lies-at-the-core-of-psychoanalysis/
Psychodynamic approaches to violence
www.cambridge.org/core/journals/bjpsych-advances/article/psychodynamic-approaches-to-violence/6233CC07BA6FC91B4C84D84A87C0CAFE
Dear Dr., Never go easy on us
*Raps ruler on desktop sternly 🙂
many of the symptoms you described i relate with. is there a questionnaire i can fill in to determine if I am a narcissist? i believe i have empathy. and do my best to be humble yet I do display many of the described symptoms in this video.
I have had a difficult time fitting into social groups, especially work related ones.
I truly am grateful for the expertise you offer at no cost here online. best regards to you and Minnie
I would like to know about the questionnaire as well.
Yes there are questionnaires. You take them when you see a psychiatrist or psychologist. You can find them online.
Thankyou Sam!
Any time.
I'm at the 30 minute mark and seems like you've described the most attention seeking personalities on social media. I have several of your videos in separate tabs on the subject of social media and curious if you will discuss whether social media is a tool for those with existing personality disorders, or if those who grew up on social media has lead to personality disorders. An analogy would be trauma-based disorders like PTSD would not exist in a world without trauma, would that lead to some disorders that did not exist before social media? One example is the 'mass sociogenic illness' recently appeared with followers replicating disorders (tiktok users imitating tourettes or DID) - or is this something that has always existed, for example salem witch trials?
is psychonarcopathy already a thing?
Thanks Sam, very interesting. One query please.. what word did you use at 1.00.09 after “comordidity and”? Was it poly.....? Thanks
Polythetic.
@@samvaknin Thankyou so much!
And Codependent’s ?…
Astounding. What a vocabulary. Peerless.
Could you please suggest something to read for development psychology to cover the whole syllabus of it for entrance
Is the DSM gender specific?