there is joke i really like Husband A is married to his wife B, but they have been having difficulty in the relationship recently and are drifting apart. One day, A's wife B goes up to A and says "I have some very unfortunate news." He says, "Me too, i have some very unfortunate news, but you go first." So B says to him, "I think i might be a lesbian." A's face lights up, and she replies to B, "I have some very fortunate news."
I’m a trans woman and I like women. Cis or trans doesn’t matter, I’ve been with and fallen for both. There are different complexities between dating a cis woman or a trans woman but ultimately I don’t have a preference, I just love women
I'm dating three women (some cis, some trans). I started dating all of them while I was still masc presenting. I came out a little over a year ago. They have been fiercely, wonderfully accepting and affirming.
Aww 🥰 well that's good to know actually I can't really say anything about it because I am not really in a relationship with someone but I can kind of see where you are coming from though because I have a gay male cousin that I am best friends with and I wished him a happy pride month and sent home a photo of me and he said I look cute and I thought that was really nice and I said oh my goodness no man has ever said that to me before and I am straight believe it or not
One of the things I love about your channel is that you are a Trans/Cis couple, which, correct me if I'm wrong, there's really no other channel like yours out there. I guess what I mean is, most trans ladies are either single or don't include their partner in their videos. So, your channel has been a priceless resource for me personally. Anyway, I came out to my wife back in February, and although things have moved slowly, I'm finally getting to a place where I'm telling people and eagerly looking forward to telling the next person(s). Hey, who knows, maybe someday will start a channel like yours, too?
It's good to hear that we're providing a scarce resource, but I'm sure there must be more - maybe you guys soon, as you say? 😊 Anyway thank you for the kind words, and all the best with your journey ❤️❤️❤️
@@WivesVsWorld To be fair, I haven't looked very hard haha. I just came across your channel like 6-8 months ago, loved the interactions between the two of you, and I felt like Jackie and I had a lot in common, so it was like I found the best right from the get go. :)
I'm roughly at the same point - my girlfriend knows I'm starting my transition but the last couple of months it's been difficult to get her to think and talk about the future. I wish I could convince her to watch some of these videos, because you two really fit very well with the relationship dynamic I'm hoping for.
Love the two of you. I am also a trans woman married to a cis woman. We've been married for 17 years and I have been transitioning for the last three. It was rough in the beginning, but I wouldn't want anyone else at my side. 🥰
I don't think there are statistics about whether T4T relationships are more common than T4Cis. However, there are surveys where people are asked if they are open to dating trans people and only queer/nonbinary respondants had a majority that said they were. This might imply T4T relationships are more common but, surveys also find most people also respond they don't know a trans person so 🤷♀️
Personally, I didn't even know what it means to be transgender (but I'm also 30 and have never been taught about this at school or Internet.) So just based on that fact I wouldn't know what to answer in such survey. Also, I didn't know I was demisexual/omnisexual, because growing up autistic, your biggest desire is to be able to relate to "the norm" at least in 1 out 10 ways. All you're trying to do is fit in your whole life. There are probably many things that are not actually a real me, just something I thought I am and never had the chance to question them. Currently I'm trying to build a lesbian relationship with my trans girlfriend. It's actually really liberating to not try to fit in into anything.
I think it depends a lot from country to country, here in Brazil around 50% of people reported that they know a transgender person according to a survey a few years ago, and almost all trans people I know are dating a cis person, that's a data with no survey just based on my experience of course. But considering how few people are transgender around 1 in a 500 at most I think most trans people are dating cis people all over the world, but most of them keep the trans status more discrete because of the cis person's family.
From my experience (which doesn’t mean fact because there clearly would be more trans people than I could possibly know), most trans people I’ve met in relationships have been T4T.
I love hearing someone else saying that cis people can understand a trans person after having it explained. So many people say it's impossible but I've always felt people could understand if they were really willing to take the time to listen.
Like, it might be a thing you accomplish overnight, but ud people are willing to listen and out in the work, they'll get there eventually 🥰 But like, I think it's an ongoing process 😂
Trans here. My partner is a clinical mental health therapist cis. She's amazing. She really gets it a majority of the time despite just a handful of tiny things that her only comparisons are of a cis upbringing but regardless we've been together for 10 years and my transitioning is doing more to strengthen our relationship than weaken or hurt it.
Found your channel today and I'm loving it! ❤ T4T is not always that magical, some trans people can be in a space where they're struggling with themselves and might reproduce really transphobic thoughts. Been there in my past relationship and, although I knew my partner was suffering, it was hurtful sometimes.
I'm the cis partner in my relationship, and your videos have been super comforting in reminding me that me we're not alone in this crazy but wonderful journey. :)
"Do I want to be with her or do I want to be her?" I think that so often. Especially early on my transition. P.S. Anya, I finished your book and now I really need to know what happens next. Can't wait to see more of their adventures.
For your statistical purposes, I am a trans guy dating a trans girl. We initially became close because of our shared experiences as trans people, but we also have quite a few other things in common. However, I do think the fact that we are both trans has been a very crucial part of our relationship with each other because it allows us to better understand each other and to be more vulnerable about our struggles particularly with gender identity and how we are viewed by society.
I can't tell if I'm envious watching what appears to be a not utterly traumatized trans girl who was able to fully shed the old self, or if I'm inspired that maybe one day i will get as far as it seems you have. I expected a lot more discussion about the difficulty of feeling worthy of dating and trusting the cis person, but i guess that just exposes how important those issues are to me. 😑
@@WivesVsWorld Couldn't help notice the entrance 😻 I can lick myself on camera, no matter what serious things you are talking about and still steal the show 😂 cuteness overload.
The way the two of you talk reminds me of my partner and I. It's just nice to listen to. We started as T4Cis and became T4T. It was a bit of an adjustment, but it's been great both ways. Just found your channel yesterday and definitely subscribing! Thanks!
@@musicgirl999 I only recently learned the abbreviations myself, so hopefully I didn't use them wrong. T4Cis is a trans person in a relationship with a cisgender person and T4T is a trans person in a relationship with a trans person. I've been trans since before I met my partner. When we started dating I thought they were a cisgender man, but years later my partner came out as trans.
@@TeeLight I left a comment on another video that these two girls did about me having an ex that’s now MTF trans and how they pretty much saved me from having to deal with the hardships of being with someone that comes out trans. Definitely check it out!
@@TeeLight I was in hs when I dated my ex when they presented as male at the time and hadn’t come out. They actually didn’t come out trans til around 2017.
I'm a generqueer transman and I am dating a cis man. I am also ace. So we have issues many couples don't face. I can't really speak about them here as they are for the bedroom, but with communication we have worked out many of the kinks. I love following you ladies to see it from the other side of the gender spectrum.
The RUclips algorithm did me good today, I’m so glad I found your channel! 💜 Btw your speculation on how T4T compares to your own dynamic very much matches my own experience! Also things can be… interesting when both sides are loosely held together bundles of chaos. But on the other hand it’s soooo *fun*
I am a intersexperson born with both gender markers my parents decided for me as an infant to remove the female parts and raise me as male. I do identify as male but my body cant produce Testosteron even reacts adverse to it. So i never had a male puberty and do look female and even if i go full male mode i never passed as a man. I can not change that since Testosteron makes me sick. Long story short in the end i found conecting with cis partners very hard since the expirience is so different. Even if i am not a trans person i fonud connecting with trans people way easier and that makes finding friends or love way more fun.
That's such an interesting experience! And it makes a lot of sense. I feel so much with intersex people who haven't had a say in how their body looks. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! ❤️
@@WivesVsWorld the "having a say in" is actually a point i needed to work on for years and years it took me about 15 years to come to point where i could accept that it will always be that way and nowadays i kinda feel more comfortable in being who i am. The Friends i made in the trans community played a hughe part in me accepting myself.
Hey! As a person who started to navigate gender in their early-mid 20s i wanted to thank you for making these videos... I stumbled upon your channel some weeks ago around the same time I started to admit to my girlfriend that im pretty much * not * cis and im considering taking further steps into a transition. These stories give me so much hope that we could still be together in the future and support each other in different ways. I love seeing people I can look up to be happy and share the good moments they have and how they help and understand each other, thanks a lot for sharing these
Hey, awesome video! So happy I found this! Just commenting to let you guys know the music is a little loud. I think if you guys lowered the volume on the music a little bit it would make your speaking much easier to hear.
This is a really cool video. I’m a transwoman married to my cisgender wife. She has continued to love and support me but it is work. Just had our 14th anniversary and I’m 2 years into my medical transition. Often it feels like others can’t understand how we can love each other so much even thought it often feels to us like a no brainer. It’s so wild.
Thank you so much ❤️ It's wild how it truly boggles the mind of some people who just can't seem to understand why anyone could ever accept a trans partner 😂 Happy anniversary to the both of you ❤️
As a bisexual trans man, I am lucky that women tend to be more open-minded about dating. But there were still challenges with dating cis women so for awhile I figured it was most likely I'd end up with a trans/nonbinary partner where there would be less expectations and more freedom in what the relationship might look like. I least expected to end up with a cis gay man (as I'm only attracted to feminine and androgynous men) but that's what ended up happening! Dating as a trans person can be so tricky as you're still on your own journey of understanding and self acceptance, and you have to deal the expectations and confusion of others on top of it. The more you can break from your own restricted view of what you want, you can approach people with equal parts healthy caution and open-minded trust in your feelings as things move naturally. With some luck, you will then find the love and happiness you want. Just remember it cannot be forced, and you should always focus on loving yourself most along the way! Much love to my trans siblings and cis allies out there
I transitioned after nine years of marriage. We're still together. She understands me as a person, not necessarily as a trans woman, but my wife knows my values, my stories, and my fears. Like any good marriage, it's still a work in progress.
Thank you so much! So happy you enjoyed it 🥰 Yeah you might be very right about that! It can definitely be a huge source of support but the dysphoria might be an other layer of complication.
Lmfao 9:40 the ragtime getting interrupted by the idea about "sending in a man for you" It's funny cause I was just wondering if it was one of you that was performing it and that little 'blonk blonk' there told me everything I need to know 😂😂😂
Audio sounds really hollow and low. Not sure if your lapel mics are at fault or the software used to create the video... Also, the background (piano) music is too loud.
A little bit of both in this case 😂 Things should be back to normal once we've worked out our new setup (from one to two lavs + new audio editing software) - thanks for commenting ❤️
I love your conversations and hearing your thoughts. It's always so wholesome, loving, smart and funny at the same time. And truly honestly insightful too. The conversation on T4T couples is one of the best, most sympathetic, and most relatable conversations I've ever heard. Thank you again for your vulnerability and sharing this conversations with us. "It's not that you don't understand, but sometimes I have to explain" omg that is soooooo spot on. And "it's like a team of pokemon..." this is officially how I'm going to describe the social aspects of the transgender community from now on :) And oof, the envy element. I'd love to hear a whole extended discussion on that. I'm still trying to untangle that one. Though I think you hit all the high points. I think that's a complicated one in trans cis couples. I love hearing that you've found a good place, and maybe it's just that I'm still working through where to put those feelings myself "but I have dimples!" 🩷 And Anya "I attract disproportionately trans girls" 🤣🤣🤣🩷👀 I mean... I have some theories 😝
Aw it's so good to hear you enjoyed it :')) I'm really glad it was entertaining and relatable ❤️ We acrually already did a whole video on envy! It's called "did I envy my cis partner?" and is a few years old ^^ Hahahhaa oh really? I need to hear these theories 😂👀
I can see why this would be a bit confusing at times to be honest I don't really have friends that are trans or nonbinary but after watching this video I can see a bit why it's important to keep in mind of the things you need to know
Thank you for a great video. I have found a lot of joy and comfort in T4T relationships. The ability to navigate sensitive conversations and support each other has been phenomenal, especially around navigating our trans bodies and when moments of dysphoria pop up. I've had a similar experience dating other neurodivergent people, especially as an Autistic person. I think more than T4T, I find myself in a Neuroqueer for neuroqueer sense of attraction. I need to communicate in a way that isn't always palpable to neurotypical or allistic individuals, including about gender. Some times T4T relationships can bring up similarly triggering experiences, but I think that this can be mitigated by healthy communication and diverse support networks. That allows for better communication of boundaries and if something is elevating both partners to pursue alternative support needs. That doesn't feel unlike other situations where a couple may have shared sources of trauma though.
My wife is so much happier since she realised she needed to transition. I am so much happier since she became herself. I feel so much more comfortable as a lesbian couple than as a pretending to be hetero couple.
I am not sure how the algorithm found me, but I'm grateful it did. My eldest daughter just came out as gay, I have a trans neice, and one of my daughter's friends has been in a relationship with a trans man for several years. I just want them all to be happy!
I have a very complicated love life. I am trans woman married for a long time to a cis woman. It was absolutely wonderful that she helped me with purchasing clothes. I was too embarrassed to buy my own in the beginning. "Unfortunately" she was no help with makeup as she does not wear makeup herself. But she was wonderfully supportive. We are also poly. In my poly life, things become very interesting. When I date other trans women that we are mutually supportive. We do form our own closed transbian society. Talking with other trans women is just so much easier. We can talk in short cuts that is comfortable. Now here is the twist. I have met more cis lesbians who love being with trans women. Including a few newly out lesbians who are looking for community and find it unexpectedly with trans women.
That's so wonderful! Sounds like a lovely wife ❤️ and it can be such a comfort to have a person to support you through all that! And honestly - that's amazing. So often we only hear of the terf lesbians so it's wonderful to know that there are lots of lesbians out there who are excited about trans women ❤️❤️❤️
Yaaaaay! I've been waiting for a new upload lol love you two. The Pokemon reference was funny and so real 😂 I think this is why I find myself attracted more to bi/pan/queer women and or androgynous transmasc people, because it's easier and more comforting as a genderfluid person myself. Like Anya said, do I want to be them or be with them lol that's always the question but also the fun! Best of both worlds. Also, haha, to Anyas point of attracting trans girls, an ex of mine which identified as a lesbian and bc I still look cis yet in my head very sapphic, I thought we were just going to be friends and she had to tell me that she was hitting on me and openly said my energy was extremely "lesbian" her words haha 🤣 thats when i began to learn that attraction isnt just about looks but the energy...I later learned her exes were all transwomen lol😅🤣
Yay so happy you enjoyed it! ❤️ Yesss completely with you on the attraction. Genderfluid people are just the hottest okay 😂🙌 Hahahhaha glad there are other people out there who knows what it's like 😂 I swear I don't do it on purpose but who's to say no when life gives you candy 😌
@@WivesVsWorldAbsolutely! We genderfluid beings have divinely ethereal immaculate taste! 😌🔥😏 You both are so relatable because Jackie more or less has a similar experience to me (so I'm learning a lot from her) and Anya is totally my type and tends to be the kind of hottie that I tend to attract (which makes me feel seen) lol 😅😅😂 Like you said, "when life gives you candy"...you become Willy Wonka! 🤪Lol jk
Transfemme/masc non-binary T/T couple here. We did run into some issues where things one person found very exciting and affirming felt triggering to the other person. Because of our relationship with those things because of our birth genders, and we had to figure out how to navigate that. But it's mostly been helpful in understanding each other and feeling connected.
Oh that's so interesting! That makes so much sense and definitely adds another layer of complexity. But how wonderful that you've found eachother and have found support and love ❤️ much love to you both!
After I came out as a poly bi trans woman, I went thru another slutty phase in my life but in that time I did meet several people I developed feelings for. 1 was a FWB that was also a trans woman n like u mentioned there were lots of things that either didn't need to be explained or momenta where I realized I'm not the only one going thru that, n it really helped. The 4 actual people I've dated since then however things were kinda different. One was also a trans girl but unlike me n my friend, my gf isn't on hormones, n presents as a guy in most of her life outside of the home or her sex life. I always wondered with her if she would even still be attracted to me after my surgery since she only seemed attracted to guys n trans women who still have their original bits. Things with her ended for completely unrelated reason tho so I never had to face that scary thought head on. Another girl I dated was cis n she was a bit over protective of me from bigotry n almost started a fight the night we met cuz of something someone said. It felt validating to get complimented by a cis girk that was so cute n it defs helped me feel better in my own skin. I had met her while visit family across the country tho so when incame back home the long distance curse got to us. My next ex to talk about presented as a straight cis man when we met but when I saw them last week they were very trans. I think they still use their male persona at work n like my other ex, I don't this they plan to take hormones. The whole relationship I could hear the egg cracking but didn't wanna say anything for fear that confronted them on it might make them double down on how cis they r out of protest n cause some internalized transphobia (ain't gonna pass on that trauma). But with all that said I felt like I was just a gateway on their journey of self discovery, n with how secretive they were about their life n then all the crap that came up when those secrets started coming out proved too much for me n I'm not gonna be made to be the "other woman". Last but defs not least is my amazing fiancé, a cishet man who loves me for me n my genitals don't play a factor (tho he is as excited as I am for when I do eventually get my surgery). He does notice people's bigorty more than I do (I've learned to assume everyone is just checking me out so their stares just boost my confidence) n he tends to get angry at them but he is a quiet fuming kinda anger so he has only once caused a scene n he didnt try to fight them off the bat 😹. He usually just dirty looks them n hopes I didn't notice them. He tries his best to understand my feelings of dysphoria n wutnot n he is amazingly supportive but i do have to explain things sometimes. After 3 yrs together tho I don't have to explain as much n sometimes he will catch me looking in the mirror n know I'm not happy n just tell me im gorgeous. 💜 I love him so much. He is normally so quiet n stoic but around me he has moments where he is just a lovable goofball or gets really vulnerable about his emotions, n randomly he'll give me the tightest hug he can muster n then go back to normal like he didn't just pounce on me 😹. I don't know if dating as cis person or a straight person is better, they both have their pros n cons, but im just happy I found someone so wonderful
What a journey you've been on! That's so many interesting experiences to have made and definitely says a lot about the different pros and cons. So happy and excited to hear you've found such an amazing person!!! A million congratulations and we wish you all the best ❤️✨️
You too are just gorgeous and I just love your content, I think the accents probably plays a good part in the charm for trans women (at least it appeals to me greatly).
This is the first video of yours I've seen and I'm excited to watch more. You're both very sweet and seem so comfortable around each other. I'm in a queerplatonic relationship, which is kind of in the grey space between friendship and dating. Both my partner and I are aromantic so it's not a romantic relationship, but it's still quite close and committed. Both of us are nonbinary and I've described the relationship as T4T before. We're both slightly femme of center as I call it, but assigned different genders at birth. I'm closer to cis because of that, if that makes sense. But it's been really lovely to come out to each other, one after the other, and be able to have these kinds of conversations where both of us have a base level of understanding. We still have that piece of envy because both of us have physical attributes that the other wants. So it's different but I still resonated with a lot of what was said in this video
Aw that's so sweet of you, thank you so much :') That's really interesting! Quite a different dynamic but I'm so glad the video resonated 🥰 so happy to have you here ❤️
I do want to disagree with something you said there - the bit at the end where you said "this video is long enough" 😃 I would have happily kept watching!
Thank you for showing that it's possible to be attracted to a trans woman in a healthy and non-fetishizing way. I wish there were more cis people like this out there!
I find it's much easier to find comfort in T4T relationships. I have five partners, only one of them is cis. I don't think I'd ever really try to find another cis partner. I mean... realistically I'm polysaturated at this point (ie. I've hit my maximum amount of partners... I have no more time to split up). In general, it's easier to get along with other trans folk. I feel like I'm more seen and I have to do a lot less explaining about what causes dysphoria, what doesn't, what things (in bed or not) are ok... but with any of my trans partners, that's never been a thing. It's only ever been an issue with my cis partner. Perhaps it's not the same everywhere. From what I've seen in this video, that's likely the case. But you've also been together for over a decade I think? I find when I'm with another trans woman, I hit that level of comfort and understanding immediately. There's no teaching involved. So in that, I feel more comfortable. I feel safer and more seen. I know there'll be less explanations necessary and we'll start off several steps up the comfort ladder.
really cute vid but was wondering if you could turn down the music or use a less busy score as a background just crowds out things a little. Otherwise as a newer trans person this was really nice to see ❤
Thank you 🙏 Unfortunately I can't remix it without deleting and uploading it again, but fear not - it seems that I have gotten out new mics to cooperate, so going forward this will not be an issue 😌
I personally usually find it easier for relationships and friendships to be with other trans people, not as a rule but more as a generalization. I'm bisexual and I did end up dating a cis man who I did feel just as comfortable around, but it turns out they might be trans too actually 😅 so maybe that's why I was comfortable from the start lol
I'm agender dating a cis man. I'm pan, and he's bi. he goes by he/him; I go by they/them. We respect and love each other and complete each other. We play games together, and we play this dance game together called Touch. We both created male characters (I'm pretty masc presenting). We got married on the game, and it called us "Husband and wife" even though we're both male. We have babies on the game, and it has us listed as Father in blue for him and Father in pink for me. For some strange reason, the game started calling him she/her, and he told me, "I never understood why the right pronouns were so important to you before and why it upset you so much to be called she/her until it started happening to me. It annoys me and feels uncomfortable and now I understand you better." Edit: I honestly cannot tell which of you is cis or trans! You're both so pretty I just see two beautiful women! I don't understand why people are so obsessed with who's born with what genitals.
That is so interesting!! I'm sure cis people would understand better if they got misgendered more often 😂 thank you so much for sharing your experiences ❤️
I never tell my cis partner that I'm trans. And she knew me from the start as a woman. I feel like it's just way easier this way and I really don't have to explain anything. Why do I have to explain when I "do womanly things", unless if people saw me as a man. If they see me as a woman I don't have to explain anything. That's my two cents.
I've (MtF enby) only ever dated other trans women, but it's not that I'm seeking out trans women specifically, I don't really consider myself T4T, but maybe I do? I tend to find other queer folk in general more attractive, and it's just that I've been drawn into these trans inclusive spaces that happen to only have other trans women in them, so I guess we just all have the same interests or something, not to mention that it's also just so much easier to hit on trans woman because I can be confident that they'll like the attention, and they won't shoot me down immediately, whereas if I were to ever try and flirt with a cis woman, I never know how they're going to react, I mainly worry that I'm just being a bother to her and try to be as respectful as possible, to the point that she would have to be the one to make it obvious that she likes me or something. :P Trans men on the other hand, I'm not sure what it is, but I just haven't met any trans men my age, although, maybe I have? and I just couldn't tell?... but all the trans men I've met are all so much younger than me that I would not be comfortable with dating them at all, like cool, I've made a new friend, but I'm definitely not interested~ xP And then there's cis men... I don't know, most of the time men are just really emotionally repressed and they've never once questioned anything in their life, sexual identity or otherwise, which I don't find attractive at all... they would either have to be really in tune with their feminine side, or possess a level of healthy and secure masculinity that's hard to find these days... most of the time, I'm the one who knows themselves far better than any cis person I've met, so dating other trans folk just tends to be far better on that level, whereas most cis people end up questioning their own sexuality just for finding me attractive... the only 'cis' man I've ever dated turned out to be a trans woman who's egg cracked after getting to know me, and she ended up transitioning to be more feminine than I am~ (I'm pretty masculine/tomboyish~ :V)
Hi, I am a trans fem. let me start by saying you both are gorgeous and deserve all the compliments. really fun watching this video. on the topic of T4T or T4C I'd say I am a T who hopes to find a beautiful cis fem partner. But I always say that I won't exclude anyone if my heart seems to want them over my preference. The preference is more a I want children with my partner so her being a cis woman would be ideal but yeah Tf4Cf is my preference but Tf4A is what I am open for.
It just means that a person is comfortable being the gender they were assigned at birth ^^ so if you were always a boy and feel comfortable being a man, then you're cis!
I would guess that early in the transition, T4T is more common (unless you already have a cis girlfriend when the egg cracks) I'm early in transition and cis-people are scary 😂so it feels safer to date within the comunity.
Wait, so you've been together since pre-transition? Okay. I wanna find out about what it's like to date a cis girl post-transition. I am 24 and I already transitioned 2 years ago, and I did it effectively - been stealth passing since month 5. So the framework of the beginning, would not be the same as y'all. The mid to late relationship would be similar probably...
@@WivesVsWorld okie! The reason I just said "okay" is because this pairing like yours, where you've been together since the dark past, is the most common T4C, at least by the amount of posts online, while us young transbians primarily date each other, not cisbians...
Ah, read it as a disappointed okay, good to know! And then it's as suspected, Anya owes me 10 bucks :v But genuinely, do report back if you find a cis gf and let us know what that's like as someone who's already out!
@@WivesVsWorld Did it! Well, that was fast. Though, if I'm being honest, I only did it because I ran out of other transbians to date - it's Russia, every trans girl middle class and up and with normal, family oriented priorities and none of this polyamorous or pornography-starring bullshit - well, they left Russia. Well, anyway. Cis girl. She's pan, and we've been on two dates so far. She clearly isn't used to some quirks like me not saying a single word to anyone when using the bathroom because my voice isn't perfect, or me finding the mundane and normal process like clothes shopping to be so much fun because it's in the women's section. She's never misgendered me, but she is still not used to the "this is too boyish, it's gonna cause dysphoria" factor. But we do share the fact that we're both fujoshis, fictional gay boys are the only boys that I would ever gush over (obv to me it also meant having a few failed actual gay relationships pre-transition lmao. Real gays are nothing like the fictional ones.). We both kinda want a family in the future after the genocide of queer ppl is over, so that's good! I hope we actually work out, the chemistry between us is so nerdy and amazing OMG. I'm an engineer and she's a programmer.
It may seem that I am in a relationship that is more or less the same as yours (transfem married to cisfem), but this is only if you look at just one gender dimension. Seen from another viewpoint, I am a non binary marrried to a transmasc (yes I was the one proposed to, and the one being defended when needed). Involving more dimensions give many more interpretations. Essentially it just boils down to two people that feel the need and do their best to support each other - involving gender boxes does not add or take anything from this fact.
With "legacy relationships" that survive one partner's transition, there are more T4cis relationships. Otherwise this might be T4T. But there is also a depressingly large percentage of trans people who ever get to form any lasting relationship.
Hi person sorting by newest first - no transphobia here fortunately (if thats what you’re looking for)
Unfortunately always find that shit, thanks for saying
Not a lot of that but check out these relationships. They’re nice.
there is joke i really like
Husband A is married to his wife B, but they have been having difficulty in the relationship recently and are drifting apart. One day, A's wife B goes up to A and says "I have some very unfortunate news." He says, "Me too, i have some very unfortunate news, but you go first." So B says to him, "I think i might be a lesbian." A's face lights up, and she replies to B, "I have some very fortunate news."
Omg I love that 😂❤️
Omg amazing 🤣
Omg that's so dang cute🥺😂
not just a joke, there is at least one couple where it went like that but the other way around. was in the news
@@otakuofmine many such cases
I’m a trans woman and I like women. Cis or trans doesn’t matter, I’ve been with and fallen for both. There are different complexities between dating a cis woman or a trans woman but ultimately I don’t have a preference, I just love women
Preach it, Sister 🙏🙏🙏
At the end of the day it's all about that connection ❤️❤️❤️
women are my favourite guy
That is a beautiful point of view.
Exactly how i feel as a enby lesbian!! idc if you’re cis or trans, as long as you’re not a man i love you
I’m a trans woman married to cis woman and we live in Denmark so it’s interesting to find this channel.
It's like that Spider-Man meme where they point at each other 😂
Hopefully you liked what we had to offer 🥰
I'm dating three women (some cis, some trans). I started dating all of them while I was still masc presenting. I came out a little over a year ago. They have been fiercely, wonderfully accepting and affirming.
That's so beautiful ❤️
Happy to hear you've had such a great experience with your partners ❤️
My cis boyfren was raised with alot of sisters and has been with me since pre transition so he knows whats going on more then me sometimes ^.^
Damn, that must be really helpful from time to time 😂❤️
Aww 🥰 well that's good to know actually I can't really say anything about it because I am not really in a relationship with someone but I can kind of see where you are coming from though because I have a gay male cousin that I am best friends with and I wished him a happy pride month and sent home a photo of me and he said I look cute and I thought that was really nice and I said oh my goodness no man has ever said that to me before and I am straight believe it or not
What's the correlation?
I feel like the perception of dating someone trans is that the cis partner is clueless in some senses and its just not the case for alot of us :)
One of the things I love about your channel is that you are a Trans/Cis couple, which, correct me if I'm wrong, there's really no other channel like yours out there. I guess what I mean is, most trans ladies are either single or don't include their partner in their videos. So, your channel has been a priceless resource for me personally. Anyway, I came out to my wife back in February, and although things have moved slowly, I'm finally getting to a place where I'm telling people and eagerly looking forward to telling the next person(s). Hey, who knows, maybe someday will start a channel like yours, too?
It's good to hear that we're providing a scarce resource, but I'm sure there must be more - maybe you guys soon, as you say? 😊
Anyway thank you for the kind words, and all the best with your journey ❤️❤️❤️
very popular trans youtuber Jammidodger is a man, but his wife is cis, so opposite gender but same sort of trans with cis dynamic
@@WivesVsWorld To be fair, I haven't looked very hard haha. I just came across your channel like 6-8 months ago, loved the interactions between the two of you, and I felt like Jackie and I had a lot in common, so it was like I found the best right from the get go. :)
@@tmmaster6904 I'll have to look them up. Thanks!
I'm roughly at the same point - my girlfriend knows I'm starting my transition but the last couple of months it's been difficult to get her to think and talk about the future. I wish I could convince her to watch some of these videos, because you two really fit very well with the relationship dynamic I'm hoping for.
Love the two of you. I am also a trans woman married to a cis woman. We've been married for 17 years and I have been transitioning for the last three. It was rough in the beginning, but I wouldn't want anyone else at my side. 🥰
It's so important to have someone in your corner, especially in the beginning where things can be just so chaotic 😅❤️
Thank you for the support ❤️❤️❤️
I don't think there are statistics about whether T4T relationships are more common than T4Cis. However, there are surveys where people are asked if they are open to dating trans people and only queer/nonbinary respondants had a majority that said they were. This might imply T4T relationships are more common but, surveys also find most people also respond they don't know a trans person so 🤷♀️
Personally, I didn't even know what it means to be transgender (but I'm also 30 and have never been taught about this at school or Internet.) So just based on that fact I wouldn't know what to answer in such survey. Also, I didn't know I was demisexual/omnisexual, because growing up autistic, your biggest desire is to be able to relate to "the norm" at least in 1 out 10 ways. All you're trying to do is fit in your whole life. There are probably many things that are not actually a real me, just something I thought I am and never had the chance to question them. Currently I'm trying to build a lesbian relationship with my trans girlfriend. It's actually really liberating to not try to fit in into anything.
True, it's probably one of those things where getting a quantitative study would just prove too difficult 😅
I think it depends a lot from country to country, here in Brazil around 50% of people reported that they know a transgender person according to a survey a few years ago, and almost all trans people I know are dating a cis person, that's a data with no survey just based on my experience of course. But considering how few people are transgender around 1 in a 500 at most I think most trans people are dating cis people all over the world, but most of them keep the trans status more discrete because of the cis person's family.
From my experience (which doesn’t mean fact because there clearly would be more trans people than I could possibly know), most trans people I’ve met in relationships have been T4T.
I love hearing someone else saying that cis people can understand a trans person after having it explained. So many people say it's impossible but I've always felt people could understand if they were really willing to take the time to listen.
Like, it might be a thing you accomplish overnight, but ud people are willing to listen and out in the work, they'll get there eventually 🥰
But like, I think it's an ongoing process 😂
Trans here. My partner is a clinical mental health therapist cis. She's amazing. She really gets it a majority of the time despite just a handful of tiny things that her only comparisons are of a cis upbringing but regardless we've been together for 10 years and my transitioning is doing more to strengthen our relationship than weaken or hurt it.
Found your channel today and I'm loving it! ❤ T4T is not always that magical, some trans people can be in a space where they're struggling with themselves and might reproduce really transphobic thoughts. Been there in my past relationship and, although I knew my partner was suffering, it was hurtful sometimes.
That makes sense :C
Like, when you're in the thick of it, it can be really hard not to act on that internalized transphobia 😔
I'm the cis partner in my relationship, and your videos have been super comforting in reminding me that me we're not alone in this crazy but wonderful journey. :)
It's so important to find others who share your experiences somewhat, so we're really happy you enjoy our videos 🥰❤️
Thanks for watching ❤️
"I cant find a dress that fits me" that one made my heart ache a little. It happens to me and im still getting used to dealing with it :(
It can definitely be rough! Hold on darling, you've got this ❤️ much love!
@@WivesVsWorld 🥺🥰🏳️⚧️ thank youuuuu 🥺🥺
"Do I want to be with her or do I want to be her?" I think that so often. Especially early on my transition.
P.S. Anya, I finished your book and now I really need to know what happens next. Can't wait to see more of their adventures.
Hahah yeah, it can be difficult to gage!
Aaaaahhhh thank you so much, that makes me so excited :') ❤️ working hard on getting book 2 ready!
@@WivesVsWorld I'm hoping for more details about Dia in book 2. She's an intriguing character.
For your statistical purposes, I am a trans guy dating a trans girl. We initially became close because of our shared experiences as trans people, but we also have quite a few other things in common. However, I do think the fact that we are both trans has been a very crucial part of our relationship with each other because it allows us to better understand each other and to be more vulnerable about our struggles particularly with gender identity and how we are viewed by society.
That is so wonderful!! It's so lovely you've been able to connect over that and help and support each other ❤️❤️❤️
I sure need a wisened wizard of the womanly ways by my side.
Don't we all 🥰❤️
I can't tell if I'm envious watching what appears to be a not utterly traumatized trans girl who was able to fully shed the old self, or if I'm inspired that maybe one day i will get as far as it seems you have.
I expected a lot more discussion about the difficulty of feeling worthy of dating and trusting the cis person, but i guess that just exposes how important those issues are to me. 😑
As another trans girl, it gets better.
I would also love to know the T4T vs T4Cis statistic! You two are always a ray of sunshine
Notes, if anything comes up we will share 😂❤️
And thank you so much 😊
Your cat looks so majestic in the background!
He's totally stealing the show, hahaha 😂
@@WivesVsWorld Couldn't help notice the entrance 😻 I can lick myself on camera, no matter what serious things you are talking about and still steal the show 😂 cuteness overload.
The way the two of you talk reminds me of my partner and I. It's just nice to listen to. We started as T4Cis and became T4T. It was a bit of an adjustment, but it's been great both ways. Just found your channel yesterday and definitely subscribing! Thanks!
What do those stand for?
@@musicgirl999 I only recently learned the abbreviations myself, so hopefully I didn't use them wrong. T4Cis is a trans person in a relationship with a cisgender person and T4T is a trans person in a relationship with a trans person. I've been trans since before I met my partner. When we started dating I thought they were a cisgender man, but years later my partner came out as trans.
@@TeeLight I left a comment on another video that these two girls did about me having an ex that’s now MTF trans and how they pretty much saved me from having to deal with the hardships of being with someone that comes out trans. Definitely check it out!
@@musicgirl999 no thanks. I'm trans and I love my trans wife. Hope things work out in your situation, but I'm good.
@@TeeLight I was in hs when I dated my ex when they presented as male at the time and hadn’t come out. They actually didn’t come out trans til around 2017.
I'm a generqueer transman and I am dating a cis man. I am also ace. So we have issues many couples don't face. I can't really speak about them here as they are for the bedroom, but with communication we have worked out many of the kinks. I love following you ladies to see it from the other side of the gender spectrum.
Communication is definitely the key to overcoming so many obstacles! Thank you for your perspective ❤️ we're glad to have you here ✨️
The RUclips algorithm did me good today, I’m so glad I found your channel! 💜
Btw your speculation on how T4T compares to your own dynamic very much matches my own experience! Also things can be… interesting when both sides are loosely held together bundles of chaos. But on the other hand it’s soooo *fun*
Awww we're so happy to have you here!!
Glad to hear it resonated! Hahah indeed :')
@@WivesVsWorld 😊
I am a intersexperson born with both gender markers my parents decided for me as an infant to remove the female parts and raise me as male. I do identify as male but my body cant produce Testosteron even reacts adverse to it. So i never had a male puberty and do look female and even if i go full male mode i never passed as a man. I can not change that since Testosteron makes me sick. Long story short in the end i found conecting with cis partners very hard since the expirience is so different. Even if i am not a trans person i fonud connecting with trans people way easier and that makes finding friends or love way more fun.
That's such an interesting experience! And it makes a lot of sense. I feel so much with intersex people who haven't had a say in how their body looks. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! ❤️
@@WivesVsWorld the "having a say in" is actually a point i needed to work on for years and years it took me about 15 years to come to point where i could accept that it will always be that way and nowadays i kinda feel more comfortable in being who i am. The Friends i made in the trans community played a hughe part in me accepting myself.
Hey! As a person who started to navigate gender in their early-mid 20s i wanted to thank you for making these videos... I stumbled upon your channel some weeks ago around the same time I started to admit to my girlfriend that im pretty much * not * cis and im considering taking further steps into a transition. These stories give me so much hope that we could still be together in the future and support each other in different ways.
I love seeing people I can look up to be happy and share the good moments they have and how they help and understand each other, thanks a lot for sharing these
Oh that's so wonderful to hear, thank you so much ❤️ We're so happy the videos are helpful 🥰 so much luck you in navigating the journey!
Thank you for a wonderful video ☺️ As a trans girl who was just approached by a cis woman this made me feel much more at ease ☺️☺️✨
Aww that's so wonderful to hear!! So happy we could provide a bit of perspective and support ❤️✨️
Hey, awesome video! So happy I found this! Just commenting to let you guys know the music is a little loud. I think if you guys lowered the volume on the music a little bit it would make your speaking much easier to hear.
This is a really cool video. I’m a transwoman married to my cisgender wife. She has continued to love and support me but it is work. Just had our 14th anniversary and I’m 2 years into my medical transition. Often it feels like others can’t understand how we can love each other so much even thought it often feels to us like a no brainer. It’s so wild.
Thank you so much ❤️
It's wild how it truly boggles the mind of some people who just can't seem to understand why anyone could ever accept a trans partner 😂
Happy anniversary to the both of you ❤️
As a bisexual trans man, I am lucky that women tend to be more open-minded about dating. But there were still challenges with dating cis women so for awhile I figured it was most likely I'd end up with a trans/nonbinary partner where there would be less expectations and more freedom in what the relationship might look like. I least expected to end up with a cis gay man (as I'm only attracted to feminine and androgynous men) but that's what ended up happening!
Dating as a trans person can be so tricky as you're still on your own journey of understanding and self acceptance, and you have to deal the expectations and confusion of others on top of it. The more you can break from your own restricted view of what you want, you can approach people with equal parts healthy caution and open-minded trust in your feelings as things move naturally. With some luck, you will then find the love and happiness you want. Just remember it cannot be forced, and you should always focus on loving yourself most along the way!
Much love to my trans siblings and cis allies out there
Such wise words ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing your experience! ✨️
yo, i'm also a bi trans man dating a cis gay guy :)
I transitioned after nine years of marriage. We're still together. She understands me as a person, not necessarily as a trans woman, but my wife knows my values, my stories, and my fears.
Like any good marriage, it's still a work in progress.
That's beautiful that you can continue to love and support each other ❤️
@@WivesVsWorld Thank you!
I er så seje!! Tak for at I deler jeres oplevelser som et par
Taaak hvor er du sød ❤️ dejligt det er til gavn!
this was the first video of yours that I watched and it was so sweet! you guys are really cute
Thank you so much! So happy you enjoyed it 🥰 Yeah you might be very right about that! It can definitely be a huge source of support but the dysphoria might be an other layer of complication.
I literally thought to myself “this is such an awesome channel I have to subscribe” and realized I already was 😂
Hahaha, I totally know that feeling 😂❤️
this was pretty cool to see and helped me introspect a lot on my own struggles with relationships!
So happy to hear that! Thank you so much for watching ❤️
Lmfao 9:40 the ragtime getting interrupted by the idea about "sending in a man for you"
It's funny cause I was just wondering if it was one of you that was performing it and that little 'blonk blonk' there told me everything I need to know 😂😂😂
Thanks!
Aaahhhh thank you so much!! Our first super thanks 😍🙌❤️
@@WivesVsWorld I feel so special! 💜🖤👛😘
Audio sounds really hollow and low. Not sure if your lapel mics are at fault or the software used to create the video... Also, the background (piano) music is too loud.
A little bit of both in this case 😂
Things should be back to normal once we've worked out our new setup (from one to two lavs + new audio editing software) - thanks for commenting ❤️
I love your conversations and hearing your thoughts. It's always so wholesome, loving, smart and funny at the same time. And truly honestly insightful too. The conversation on T4T couples is one of the best, most sympathetic, and most relatable conversations I've ever heard. Thank you again for your vulnerability and sharing this conversations with us. "It's not that you don't understand, but sometimes I have to explain" omg that is soooooo spot on.
And "it's like a team of pokemon..." this is officially how I'm going to describe the social aspects of the transgender community from now on :)
And oof, the envy element. I'd love to hear a whole extended discussion on that. I'm still trying to untangle that one. Though I think you hit all the high points. I think that's a complicated one in trans cis couples. I love hearing that you've found a good place, and maybe it's just that I'm still working through where to put those feelings myself "but I have dimples!" 🩷
And Anya "I attract disproportionately trans girls" 🤣🤣🤣🩷👀 I mean... I have some theories 😝
Aw it's so good to hear you enjoyed it :')) I'm really glad it was entertaining and relatable ❤️
We acrually already did a whole video on envy! It's called "did I envy my cis partner?" and is a few years old ^^
Hahahhaa oh really? I need to hear these theories 😂👀
Jackie, you’re living my literal dream life. I’m so happy that exists somewhere. Thanks
I hope your dream life is right around the corner 🥰❤️
@@WivesVsWorld Thank you and I hope so too but I'm not holding my breath.
I can see why this would be a bit confusing at times to be honest I don't really have friends that are trans or nonbinary but after watching this video I can see a bit why it's important to keep in mind of the things you need to know
This video was an amazing watch! :D
gonna have to watch more of of your videos, you two are so cute !!
Thank you so much, we really appreciate it 🙏❤️
I love your videos so much! You’re so affirming and are such a cute couple! ❤❤❤
Thank you so much, we try our best 🫡❤️
I loved this video! I'm so glad that RUclips has recommended your channel. This feels like my vibe as a trans lesbian o/
So happy to hear that and delighted to have you here ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for a great video. I have found a lot of joy and comfort in T4T relationships. The ability to navigate sensitive conversations and support each other has been phenomenal, especially around navigating our trans bodies and when moments of dysphoria pop up. I've had a similar experience dating other neurodivergent people, especially as an Autistic person. I think more than T4T, I find myself in a Neuroqueer for neuroqueer sense of attraction. I need to communicate in a way that isn't always palpable to neurotypical or allistic individuals, including about gender.
Some times T4T relationships can bring up similarly triggering experiences, but I think that this can be mitigated by healthy communication and diverse support networks. That allows for better communication of boundaries and if something is elevating both partners to pursue alternative support needs. That doesn't feel unlike other situations where a couple may have shared sources of trauma though.
My wife is so much happier since she realised she needed to transition. I am so much happier since she became herself. I feel so much more comfortable as a lesbian couple than as a pretending to be hetero couple.
That's so beautiful 🥺❤️ so happy for you!
My mum’s comment when my wife came out and I said we were happily still married, “well you always were a bit bi”- no i was always totally bi!
@@youareherediversity7321 hahahha that's honestly so cute :'))))) amazing mom ❤️
I am not sure how the algorithm found me, but I'm grateful it did. My eldest daughter just came out as gay, I have a trans neice, and one of my daughter's friends has been in a relationship with a trans man for several years. I just want them all to be happy!
My favourite Danish couple (yes, favourite - I don't care about the Royal Family😤)!
That's makes three of us 🥰
Thank you ❤️
I have a very complicated love life.
I am trans woman married for a long time to a cis woman. It was absolutely wonderful that she helped me with purchasing clothes. I was too embarrassed to buy my own in the beginning. "Unfortunately" she was no help with makeup as she does not wear makeup herself. But she was wonderfully supportive.
We are also poly. In my poly life, things become very interesting.
When I date other trans women that we are mutually supportive. We do form our own closed transbian society. Talking with other trans women is just so much easier. We can talk in short cuts that is comfortable.
Now here is the twist. I have met more cis lesbians who love being with trans women. Including a few newly out lesbians who are looking for community and find it unexpectedly with trans women.
That's so wonderful! Sounds like a lovely wife ❤️ and it can be such a comfort to have a person to support you through all that!
And honestly - that's amazing. So often we only hear of the terf lesbians so it's wonderful to know that there are lots of lesbians out there who are excited about trans women ❤️❤️❤️
You guys seem so sweet! And now I feel like I have to go and listen to the Brandenburg concertos again.
Thank you 🥰❤️
It's a good listen 😌
Yaaaaay! I've been waiting for a new upload lol love you two. The Pokemon reference was funny and so real 😂
I think this is why I find myself attracted more to bi/pan/queer women and or androgynous transmasc people, because it's easier and more comforting as a genderfluid person myself. Like Anya said, do I want to be them or be with them lol that's always the question but also the fun! Best of both worlds.
Also, haha, to Anyas point of attracting trans girls, an ex of mine which identified as a lesbian and bc I still look cis yet in my head very sapphic, I thought we were just going to be friends and she had to tell me that she was hitting on me and openly said my energy was extremely "lesbian" her words haha 🤣 thats when i began to learn that attraction isnt just about looks but the energy...I later learned her exes were all transwomen lol😅🤣
Yay so happy you enjoyed it! ❤️
Yesss completely with you on the attraction. Genderfluid people are just the hottest okay 😂🙌
Hahahhaha glad there are other people out there who knows what it's like 😂 I swear I don't do it on purpose but who's to say no when life gives you candy 😌
@@WivesVsWorldAbsolutely! We genderfluid beings have divinely ethereal immaculate taste! 😌🔥😏
You both are so relatable because Jackie more or less has a similar experience to me (so I'm learning a lot from her) and Anya is totally my type and tends to be the kind of hottie that I tend to attract (which makes me feel seen) lol 😅😅😂
Like you said, "when life gives you candy"...you become Willy Wonka! 🤪Lol jk
Love this video. So much said and shared. Thank you!
You're welcome, thanks for watching ☺️❤️
Always the highlight of my day when you two post, so thank you for another amazing video ♥
It's totally our pleasure 🥰
Thanks for watching ❤️
Transfemme/masc non-binary T/T couple here. We did run into some issues where things one person found very exciting and affirming felt triggering to the other person. Because of our relationship with those things because of our birth genders, and we had to figure out how to navigate that. But it's mostly been helpful in understanding each other and feeling connected.
Oh that's so interesting! That makes so much sense and definitely adds another layer of complexity. But how wonderful that you've found eachother and have found support and love ❤️ much love to you both!
Great video as usual ❤
Thank you so much 😊🙏
After I came out as a poly bi trans woman, I went thru another slutty phase in my life but in that time I did meet several people I developed feelings for. 1 was a FWB that was also a trans woman n like u mentioned there were lots of things that either didn't need to be explained or momenta where I realized I'm not the only one going thru that, n it really helped. The 4 actual people I've dated since then however things were kinda different. One was also a trans girl but unlike me n my friend, my gf isn't on hormones, n presents as a guy in most of her life outside of the home or her sex life. I always wondered with her if she would even still be attracted to me after my surgery since she only seemed attracted to guys n trans women who still have their original bits. Things with her ended for completely unrelated reason tho so I never had to face that scary thought head on. Another girl I dated was cis n she was a bit over protective of me from bigotry n almost started a fight the night we met cuz of something someone said. It felt validating to get complimented by a cis girk that was so cute n it defs helped me feel better in my own skin. I had met her while visit family across the country tho so when incame back home the long distance curse got to us. My next ex to talk about presented as a straight cis man when we met but when I saw them last week they were very trans. I think they still use their male persona at work n like my other ex, I don't this they plan to take hormones. The whole relationship I could hear the egg cracking but didn't wanna say anything for fear that confronted them on it might make them double down on how cis they r out of protest n cause some internalized transphobia (ain't gonna pass on that trauma). But with all that said I felt like I was just a gateway on their journey of self discovery, n with how secretive they were about their life n then all the crap that came up when those secrets started coming out proved too much for me n I'm not gonna be made to be the "other woman". Last but defs not least is my amazing fiancé, a cishet man who loves me for me n my genitals don't play a factor (tho he is as excited as I am for when I do eventually get my surgery). He does notice people's bigorty more than I do (I've learned to assume everyone is just checking me out so their stares just boost my confidence) n he tends to get angry at them but he is a quiet fuming kinda anger so he has only once caused a scene n he didnt try to fight them off the bat 😹. He usually just dirty looks them n hopes I didn't notice them. He tries his best to understand my feelings of dysphoria n wutnot n he is amazingly supportive but i do have to explain things sometimes. After 3 yrs together tho I don't have to explain as much n sometimes he will catch me looking in the mirror n know I'm not happy n just tell me im gorgeous. 💜 I love him so much. He is normally so quiet n stoic but around me he has moments where he is just a lovable goofball or gets really vulnerable about his emotions, n randomly he'll give me the tightest hug he can muster n then go back to normal like he didn't just pounce on me 😹. I don't know if dating as cis person or a straight person is better, they both have their pros n cons, but im just happy I found someone so wonderful
What a journey you've been on! That's so many interesting experiences to have made and definitely says a lot about the different pros and cons. So happy and excited to hear you've found such an amazing person!!! A million congratulations and we wish you all the best ❤️✨️
You too are just gorgeous and I just love your content, I think the accents probably plays a good part in the charm for trans women (at least it appeals to me greatly).
Haha, can't really do much about the accents, so happy it works for you 😂❤️
Thank you for the nice comment ☺️
This is the first video of yours I've seen and I'm excited to watch more. You're both very sweet and seem so comfortable around each other.
I'm in a queerplatonic relationship, which is kind of in the grey space between friendship and dating. Both my partner and I are aromantic so it's not a romantic relationship, but it's still quite close and committed. Both of us are nonbinary and I've described the relationship as T4T before. We're both slightly femme of center as I call it, but assigned different genders at birth. I'm closer to cis because of that, if that makes sense. But it's been really lovely to come out to each other, one after the other, and be able to have these kinds of conversations where both of us have a base level of understanding. We still have that piece of envy because both of us have physical attributes that the other wants. So it's different but I still resonated with a lot of what was said in this video
Aw that's so sweet of you, thank you so much :')
That's really interesting! Quite a different dynamic but I'm so glad the video resonated 🥰 so happy to have you here ❤️
I do want to disagree with something you said there - the bit at the end where you said "this video is long enough" 😃 I would have happily kept watching!
Hahaha, that's so sweet 😭❤️
Thank you ❤️
You seem like a lovely couple! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. ☺
Thank you so much for watching ❤️
Brandenburg Concertos in the background. Then Scott Joplin!
We love to mix it up a bit 😅
I don't understand why we are focused on what category of people we are and what's normal for it?
Great video, but the music is stressing me out.
Thank you, and sorry 🙏
Thank you for showing that it's possible to be attracted to a trans woman in a healthy and non-fetishizing way. I wish there were more cis people like this out there!
It absolutely is and there are many of us out there! 🥰 thank you so much for watching!
Omg i can feel the love through the screen you’re SO cute together excellent content 👌
That is so sweet and kind of you to say ❤️ thank you so so much ✨️
I am in a T4T relationship with my girlfriend for 4 years already ;)
oh god, the "balloon animal" gesture again XD
We are nothing I'd not consistent - or at least we try to be 😂
The bit at 6:25 is extremely relatable.
I find it's much easier to find comfort in T4T relationships. I have five partners, only one of them is cis. I don't think I'd ever really try to find another cis partner. I mean... realistically I'm polysaturated at this point (ie. I've hit my maximum amount of partners... I have no more time to split up).
In general, it's easier to get along with other trans folk. I feel like I'm more seen and I have to do a lot less explaining about what causes dysphoria, what doesn't, what things (in bed or not) are ok... but with any of my trans partners, that's never been a thing. It's only ever been an issue with my cis partner. Perhaps it's not the same everywhere. From what I've seen in this video, that's likely the case. But you've also been together for over a decade I think? I find when I'm with another trans woman, I hit that level of comfort and understanding immediately. There's no teaching involved.
So in that, I feel more comfortable. I feel safer and more seen. I know there'll be less explanations necessary and we'll start off several steps up the comfort ladder.
I've always wanted to know what it's like dating a cis person
I know, right? 😂
really cute vid but was wondering if you could turn down the music or use a less busy score as a background just crowds out things a little. Otherwise as a newer trans person this was really nice to see ❤
Thank you 🙏
Unfortunately I can't remix it without deleting and uploading it again, but fear not - it seems that I have gotten out new mics to cooperate, so going forward this will not be an issue 😌
@@WivesVsWorld wow thanks for the response! Yeah I meant for future videos, which I definitely will be watching!
What’s your cat’s name?
I personally usually find it easier for relationships and friendships to be with other trans people, not as a rule but more as a generalization. I'm bisexual and I did end up dating a cis man who I did feel just as comfortable around, but it turns out they might be trans too actually 😅 so maybe that's why I was comfortable from the start lol
I'm agender dating a cis man. I'm pan, and he's bi. he goes by he/him; I go by they/them. We respect and love each other and complete each other. We play games together, and we play this dance game together called Touch. We both created male characters (I'm pretty masc presenting). We got married on the game, and it called us "Husband and wife" even though we're both male. We have babies on the game, and it has us listed as Father in blue for him and Father in pink for me. For some strange reason, the game started calling him she/her, and he told me, "I never understood why the right pronouns were so important to you before and why it upset you so much to be called she/her until it started happening to me. It annoys me and feels uncomfortable and now I understand you better."
Edit: I honestly cannot tell which of you is cis or trans! You're both so pretty I just see two beautiful women! I don't understand why people are so obsessed with who's born with what genitals.
That is so interesting!! I'm sure cis people would understand better if they got misgendered more often 😂 thank you so much for sharing your experiences ❤️
Living it here too, me being trans nonbinary and my fiancée being cis
❤️❤️❤️
i couldn't tell which was which 🤭
I never tell my cis partner that I'm trans. And she knew me from the start as a woman.
I feel like it's just way easier this way and I really don't have to explain anything.
Why do I have to explain when I "do womanly things", unless if people saw me as a man.
If they see me as a woman I don't have to explain anything.
That's my two cents.
That's so interesting! Makes a lot of sense ❤️ thank you for sharing your perspective ✨️
My partner and I have been together for 8 years we are both women T4T but wasn't an intentional choice for either of us.
Interesting! Yeah, we rarely get a choice in who we fall in love with or how life shakes out haha ✨️ much love to you both!
"We wanna turn it on its head-- it's het? Its head..."
Definitely nothing het about any of this, lmao 😅
Hahahah exactly 🙌✨️
Im a cis bi man with a trans boyfriend i love him soooo much
I've (MtF enby) only ever dated other trans women, but it's not that I'm seeking out trans women specifically, I don't really consider myself T4T, but maybe I do? I tend to find other queer folk in general more attractive, and it's just that I've been drawn into these trans inclusive spaces that happen to only have other trans women in them, so I guess we just all have the same interests or something, not to mention that it's also just so much easier to hit on trans woman because I can be confident that they'll like the attention, and they won't shoot me down immediately, whereas if I were to ever try and flirt with a cis woman, I never know how they're going to react, I mainly worry that I'm just being a bother to her and try to be as respectful as possible, to the point that she would have to be the one to make it obvious that she likes me or something. :P
Trans men on the other hand, I'm not sure what it is, but I just haven't met any trans men my age, although, maybe I have? and I just couldn't tell?... but all the trans men I've met are all so much younger than me that I would not be comfortable with dating them at all, like cool, I've made a new friend, but I'm definitely not interested~ xP
And then there's cis men... I don't know, most of the time men are just really emotionally repressed and they've never once questioned anything in their life, sexual identity or otherwise, which I don't find attractive at all... they would either have to be really in tune with their feminine side, or possess a level of healthy and secure masculinity that's hard to find these days... most of the time, I'm the one who knows themselves far better than any cis person I've met, so dating other trans folk just tends to be far better on that level, whereas most cis people end up questioning their own sexuality just for finding me attractive... the only 'cis' man I've ever dated turned out to be a trans woman who's egg cracked after getting to know me, and she ended up transitioning to be more feminine than I am~ (I'm pretty masculine/tomboyish~ :V)
Haha this is all so valid and very recognizable! Thank you so much for sharing your perspective ❤️
Hi, I am a trans fem. let me start by saying you both are gorgeous and deserve all the compliments. really fun watching this video. on the topic of T4T or T4C I'd say I am a T who hopes to find a beautiful cis fem partner. But I always say that I won't exclude anyone if my heart seems to want them over my preference. The preference is more a I want children with my partner so her being a cis woman would be ideal but yeah Tf4Cf is my preference but Tf4A is what I am open for.
I can't tell who's trans and who's cis.
Me neither 🤪
@@WivesVsWorld
Things on their heads, or thing on its head.
So interesting!
Thank you so much! ❤️
What is CIS? I am a straight male and it's the first time I've heard that term.
It just means that a person is comfortable being the gender they were assigned at birth ^^ so if you were always a boy and feel comfortable being a man, then you're cis!
Brandenburg Concerto no 4 in the background
I would guess that early in the transition, T4T is more common (unless you already have a cis girlfriend when the egg cracks)
I'm early in transition and cis-people are scary 😂so it feels safer to date within the comunity.
Haha that is so fair! Very valid ❤️
Loved Pokemon analogy 😁
Hahaha, right? Anya wasn't totally convinced tho 😂
@@WivesVsWorld From my perspective it was super efective 😆
Wait, so you've been together since pre-transition? Okay.
I wanna find out about what it's like to date a cis girl post-transition. I am 24 and I already transitioned 2 years ago, and I did it effectively - been stealth passing since month 5. So the framework of the beginning, would not be the same as y'all. The mid to late relationship would be similar probably...
Sorry 😔❤️
How about this: you tell us about your experience once you've found a cis gf and we can learn from you? : )
@@WivesVsWorld okie!
The reason I just said "okay" is because this pairing like yours, where you've been together since the dark past, is the most common T4C, at least by the amount of posts online, while us young transbians primarily date each other, not cisbians...
Ah, read it as a disappointed okay, good to know!
And then it's as suspected, Anya owes me 10 bucks :v
But genuinely, do report back if you find a cis gf and let us know what that's like as someone who's already out!
@@WivesVsWorld
Did it! Well, that was fast. Though, if I'm being honest, I only did it because I ran out of other transbians to date - it's Russia, every trans girl middle class and up and with normal, family oriented priorities and none of this polyamorous or pornography-starring bullshit - well, they left Russia.
Well, anyway. Cis girl. She's pan, and we've been on two dates so far. She clearly isn't used to some quirks like me not saying a single word to anyone when using the bathroom because my voice isn't perfect, or me finding the mundane and normal process like clothes shopping to be so much fun because it's in the women's section. She's never misgendered me, but she is still not used to the "this is too boyish, it's gonna cause dysphoria" factor. But we do share the fact that we're both fujoshis, fictional gay boys are the only boys that I would ever gush over (obv to me it also meant having a few failed actual gay relationships pre-transition lmao. Real gays are nothing like the fictional ones.).
We both kinda want a family in the future after the genocide of queer ppl is over, so that's good! I hope we actually work out, the chemistry between us is so nerdy and amazing OMG. I'm an engineer and she's a programmer.
What country are you two from and how are trans rights and healthcare there?
It may seem that I am in a relationship that is more or less the same as yours (transfem married to cisfem), but this is only if you look at just one gender dimension. Seen from another viewpoint, I am a non binary marrried to a transmasc (yes I was the one proposed to, and the one being defended when needed). Involving more dimensions give many more interpretations. Essentially it just boils down to two people that feel the need and do their best to support each other - involving gender boxes does not add or take anything from this fact.
Absolutely! The most important thing is loving and wanting to support eachother ❤️ thank you for your perspective ^^
I tried to guess who was who and i was wrong :/
Nice try!
You two are so much fun and I always learn a lot. Thanks for being so genuine. 🫶🏾🌻
Our pleasure!
Thanks for watching 🥰
What do they call it when you identify as highly skeptical you are a human? Im genuinely asking for myself
❤
I am happy that you are a happy couple.
So are we 😂❤️
You're so wonderful couple😭😭❤️🫂
Thank you so much, you're too sweet ;A; ❤️
With "legacy relationships" that survive one partner's transition, there are more T4cis relationships. Otherwise this might be T4T. But there is also a depressingly large percentage of trans people who ever get to form any lasting relationship.
Same!
As a trans woman, I wish I was a lesbian watching you two 😂
Aww 🥰
I mean, it's never too late, hahaha 😂
@@WivesVsWorld I just love men too much… I’m weak
does not match the trans lesbian dating experience