Why It's So Hard To Be Consistent
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- Опубликовано: 27 янв 2024
- Developing consistency, especially as a gamer, can be challenging. In today's video, we dive into the real reasons behind why it's so hard to be consistent and how to start developing the habits needed to finally become consistent.
Learn more from Dr. K in his Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/48LdSp0
Not sure where to start? Take our guide module quiz: bit.ly/47dGzKj
In today's video, we explore how we are always in flux and how we aren't the same person every day. How these ebbs and flows of ourselves make being consistent a struggle and how understanding the flow of this game we call life works.
▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:08 - Developing consistency as a gamer
01:50 - Avoiding a bad end game in life
03:20 - You’re not playing life as one person
07:24 - Leaving things for future you to deal with
09:03 - Being the custodian of a game
12:06 - Importance of self-compassion
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DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provide medical services or professional counselling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved one are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
#mentalhealth #healthygamergg #consistency
One small thing that really changed my life is the concept of non-zero days. Meaning you do at least one thing per day towards your future goals. i.e. working out, doing school work etc. You do AT LEAST one thing a day, with NO exceptions. Over time you will develop momentum and discipline and before you know it you're unstoppable. It's all in the baby steps you take to get there.
I like this concept a lot. Seems simple enough, but effective enough, to kick yourself into gear.
I usually do something positive each day, but I do have zero days regarding to different goals and habits I set for myself. Then I get off track and lose focus for certain aspects of my life.
I've run into issues with this in the past. Usually I'll tell myself to do something small every day, but over time the reason I continue to do that thing every day starts to fizzle out, or be replaced by new priorities.
wheres 981?
But if working out is included I'll never get done with any of the other things I dream of. Working out is just self care, as simple as brushing your teeth.
I swear Dr k is so consistent with my current problems it's actually terrifying
that's the same for me wtf
Same here that's so weird !!
Really common problems. He is also talkin alot about the types of problems that his audience has, cause they compound. Its a dominoeffect, where alot of certain problems like lack of direction in life etc leads to things like this.
So i dont think its that strange. Its just that your problems arent that unique 🙂
because it is a general problem, like addiction, depression, procrastination etc.
@@reallivebluescat never said those problems are mine alone but ok lol
This concept of not procrastinating so you set up tomorrow’s version of you really sparked something in me. Working at a coffee shop for many years, it was so vital to make sure everything was cleaned and stocked so the crew tomorrow could hit the ground running. So tonight when maybe I would have procrastinated I reminded myself I wanted to make it easier for that person tomorrow when they wake up. That person deserves to thrive and not have to pick up my slack from today. Takes the excuse of saying “I’ll do it tomorrow” because when I think of tomorrow’s me as a separate person, I’m being a jerk if I leave it for them.
Thanks for summarizing everything I need in 30 seconds (still finishing the video but)
How are you doing now mate? With this mindset
i hate tomorrow me 🖕
bro/sis ! we need to know! how's it going?
"That person deserves to thrive and not have to pick my slack from today." Beautifully said for the future self. 🙏💖
"who closed last night"
Oh F, it was me.
Well, you're fired.
You can't fire me! I quit!
You can't quit, because I just fired you!
Well, you also can't fire me because I'm you!
Ah..., yes...
this man's saving a whole generation
a very cult like statement you should probably consider
@@tri.man.3 Consider taking a YT-comment not too serious
@@tri.man.3 its not that deep, it was an exaggeration
They are also saving themselves by seeking out these videos
@tri.man.3 Haha I didn't mean it literally; he's just helped out a lot of people with his videos, thats all. it's a pretty common phrase lol.
I’m a 50 year old woman. Not a gamer by any stretch of the imagination. Health Gamer is the best channel I’ve found yet. Loved this video. So helpful!!!
I'm a 26 year old woman and don't consider myself a gamer but I still really connect to Dr K's advice.
Psychology, spirituality and even gaming metaphors woven together and he presents it all in such an easy way to understand.
His work is changing lives ❤
👋
Woh me man, 36y, the last time i played games was 26 y old
and i was temporarily the best in the last random game. (Soccerstar)
the game got cancelled, never felt the same, never played anything since and most importantly i seem to get vertigo that prevents me from serious gaming..
So now i would never call myself a gamer but i still look forward to it, hoping a good game comes and my vertigo goes
Well, then I guess that instead of being a Healthy Gamer you will just be a Healthy.
which is still pretty good.
yaaaaay, that's so awesome HG is found valuable by so many people from so many backgrounds
Dr K., sadly I am going to slowly stop watching your videos. Your video's have showed me that instead of just rotting away thinking of when things might possibly change, that one needs to put in the work to get out of that funk feeling of despair and make the change. I am learning how to push my anxiety and depression away by just trying to smile and be helpful to someone. I have learned that when I am not feeling so hot, just going out and doing anything positive things like helping people, being a person other people can talk to or count on, and spreading positivity and kind words is an amazing way to fill my soul. I have learned these things from you. I will always stay a subscriber, but once I understand all of the elements to sustain a healthy and happy life I don't plan to come back. I am now happily sober for the first time in 10 years, seeing a therapist, and planning the future and living rationally. Thank you Dr K, I'd say it was a job well done by you!!!
Goodluck in life
I think this is honestly what he intends for his viewers, so good for you
thanks for the kind words@@zoruauser
Congratulations! I think everyone coming here is seeking something or wanting to learn how to improve and you feeling content enough to spread your wings is honestly great!
Good luck buddy, I hope you are doing well
bro is so spot on it's actually insane. talk about tackling the root of the problem. a real professional
Truth can‘t miss. He is really good in explaining
For anyone who likes roguelikes, I feel like it’s kinda like that. Each day is like a new run. Everything is randomized each run, but usually you inherit some of the stuff from the previous run. So every new run (day) you should try to gain something and make some progress in the overall game so the guy doing the next run has better stuff.
Nice analogy =)
this also feels like better educating our kids so they can educate their own kids even better than what we have taught to our kids.
Guys don't say i feel like god damn women say this feminine trait
i love you for making this analogy
I like that analogy, considering I play a lot of roguelites!
I really like the idea of treating the "self" as a different person and using compassion for others to trick yourself into making selfish choices. That's actually genius.
I doubt you can do that for the rest of your existence
I do like how uncomfortable I felt with messing up “someone else life”. Made me want to do right by “them” 😅
I wouldn’t call it “selfish” per se… that word usually has a negative connotation. But yeah treating yourself as you would others, and what you would want others to do unto you
@@serias4022 well, then I will deal with it when it happens! If it works for me today, that's the onlly thing that matters at the end of the day
@@serias4022 You only live today
Holy shit. I've had the biggest productivity streak ever (5 days & ongoing!) since first watching this video. It almost feels like I started thinking with a different part of my mind. It's so much easier to start doing difficult tasks. I started to believe I can overcome my wasted years and actually become great. Thanks Dr. K!
You got this!
@@ceecole7692 💚
Hope you’re still doing fine! 😍♥️
How? This video feel so unintuitive to me.
@@PongsiriHuang after I played Wolfenstein The New Order I cannot get rid of the thought that our consciousness is just braincells combining into a large electrochemical process, and everytime we lose consciousness we die. Impostor takes our place, it has access to our memory and thinks that it is us.
You constructed that system of thinking so incredibly well. When you said that "we choose the latter because we think that there is consistency, and we think that we can make up for it tomorrow" it made me feel exactly what I experience when I don't want to delay gratification or want to ignore the consequences that come tomorrow. We lie to ourselves when we think that later 'us' will manage just fine.
"you are constantly spawning into a random person's life" mindblown
If I was spawning into a random person's life, I would not care at all. But I get what he was getting at. Basically, we have to play life as a long game to set our future self up for success as much as possible because our future self has no choice but to inherit the life that they are left with.
@@jacobbennett4074 according to the same video, Dr K thinks you're lacking self-compassion if that's the case
@izs6946 not true I have compassion for myself. I don't care about some radon persons life that I am not associated with.
@@jacobbennett4074 The random person's life you're not associated with is the tomorrow you. You don't know the tomorrow you, you have no connection to the future.
@@jacobbennett4074 another way to approach the concept is through the idea of the "eternal now" which just means that the only unit of time you can be certain of is the immediate present because it's happening to you, your memories could be inaccurate or fabricated and you have no way of distinguishing them from dreams other than by faith. from that perspective is where we get the idea that each day is a self-contained life. I don't think it's objectively true, but if you entertain the idea it's a way of accepting your performance fluctuates day to day, because each day you're some new person.
basically just don't take it literally unless you're really into epistemology and thought experiments 😅
So for us guys who manage to love others but not ourselves, this could work quite well. Imagine tormorrow you as a different person that you want to help live a better life. And today you can be proud of yesterday you for being such a kind and helpful dude.
😊 As a non-guy (but 𝑑𝑢𝑑𝑒 is universal!) I resonate SO much with this! I love to help others, and get great deep satisfaction and joy from it, but 99% of the time struggle to (or simply can't) turn that around onto myself.
I have memory issues from some health stuff, and sometimes I'll be going through my day and come across something I've already done, thus saving myself time/effort, and gratefully proclaim aloud, "𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨, 𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙈𝙚!" 😃
This is in contrast to the times I'll pointedly leave something for Future Me (if not someone else). Like closing a cabinet and hearing the Tupperware tumbling down against the back of the cabinet door. "Oh well," I say, then in my best superhero character voice, "𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙢 𝙛𝙤𝙧... 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙉𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣!"
🦸♀️👟⏩
Damn, i like that way of thinking
The body swapping thing wasn’t really resonating with me but ur explanation helped a lot! Thanks
Also imagine that person is the one you care about (your best friend, spouse,….) you would want to get them the best jump start possible right?
That's what I was thinking! I am really good at being there for others' issues and helping them with their work and often fail to do my own stuff. It is such a helpful way of thinking!
(I already did something similar years ago. I had to write a difficult email and kept tearing up. There was a picture close to me of a girl I didnt know and I pretended to write the email for her. Only thing that allowed me to keep myself together.)
So my main Quest is: Improve my life for future me so future me has it easier.
As long you are grateful and Consciously about what you have done, this can apply in generations like 70-80-90 parents struggled and now their kids have it kind of easy in a way
This opened up such a different point of view on what loving myself means. "We make sacrifices for the things we love, things that are 'worth it'"
One other thought. I may learn to have compassion for the person coming tomorrow by having compassion for the person who was here yesterday. not blaming them, not resenting them, just thanking them for doing the best they could with what they knew and wishing them well wherever they eventually ended up. 🙂
we never thank ourself for work we have done
but critical to the part where we did something wrong
he speaks the truth. People ask me how it is that I can consistently accomplish tedious chores in the short term (I.E. cleaning my apartment, cooking, exercising..), and I've never had a good enough way to explain it besides that it feels like the most logical thing to do. Im going to steal the steward and relay race analogy, and use that now because it make so much sense.
I've struggled with cleaning and one reason I struggled with it was because I saw cleaning as a big one day event, that I didn't have energy for.
When I started solving small problems as soon as I saw them (fx. trash, misplaced bits of laundry), it became much more manageable. I also began doing those things earlier in the day.
i dont even play games consistently...
You're amaizing, I'm 35 yo and going trough healing and actually realising perception issues within my depression
This channel is my favourite to listen
I would like to add this perspective to the self compassion part:
You can count on the person you will be tomorrow to carry the rest of your burdens from today. You're not alone, you have yourself and hopefully, other people there to hold the weight with you.
If you do the things you tell yourself you will do. If you lie to yourself and leave promises unfulfilled, you will learn that about yourself instead.
thank you!! 😮👋🏻😼😊
@@TehKarmalizer yes!, people need to keep promises in order to feel trust within ourselves. 😊
yeah this addition was much needed
Sick video mate ❤
This guy looks like a doctor or something
You watched this video in 2x, aren't you?
@@HerezCheezhe IS a doctor
Oh @aliabdaal we need a video with you and Dr K man!
Its ali?!
I swear it's incredible how relatable these videos are to me. Love the passion you put into making these so thank you and keep up the good work🙏🏻.
This is hands down one of the best RUclips videos I’ve seen in a long time. This concept has really changed my outlook on my ability to be consistent. Thank you!
At my job, there are two 12 hour shifts. As a daytime employee we're often cleaning up after nightshift. About 90% of the time I try to leave my route as neat and clean as I can for the nightshift.
Don't clean up for as long as it takes for them to appreciate your efforts. They need to pull their weight too
@@audreydoyle5268 I had a similar thing, but flipped. I worked nights, and days were always leaving a mess for us to pick up. We once tried not cleaning up and leaving it for days. It turned out they just didn't care at all so the place was double the mess and night shift had to clean it. I found out later after a big layoff and getting moved to a new area / shift time (to fill the gaps), cleaning on days wasn't enforced. Ever.
@@wiggleforp this was my experience closing kitchens. I show up for the hard bit with half of the day shift's work unfinished, they always had some shit to do so left and no one ever enforced it so we were left to finish prep while cooking the happy hour and hopefully getting it all done before dinner rush so we can all get smoke breaks, then busting our asses for 6 hours with no break to get done before our hours were cut off. Then morning shift would throw a fit when their shit wasn't perfect cause they "had to get up at 6 AM" while we didnt get home till 1-2 AM most nights. Absolutely infuriating, especially for only like $12 **post pandemic**
For our shifts it’s switched we’re always cleaning up after day shift. They have to appreciate you guys effort it’s going to be too much in the long run.
@@audreydoyle5268 Even when only looking out for yourself, ya gotta understand; The people that don’t finish closing out their shift and leave stuff for you to do, are gonna leave even *more* stuff for you if you leave them *anything*. Not necessarily in revenge, but because they already don’t finish their normal workload so they’re gonna finish even less and leave even more stuff for you when they have extra left over from you.
A lot of working with other people is really just babysitting. I don’t *really* think I should go out of my way to help a coworker with their job that I’m not paid for, but I’m 87% sure they like flunked outta kindergarten and on their own they’re gonna make a way bigger mess of work that I’ll have to clean up so I might as well go out of my way to “help them” to make things easier for myself.
I cried watching this…thank you Dr K. Life is unbearable when you are ambitious person but have issues being consistent. It’s a different level of hurt you deal with…💔
I can agree with you 1000% man. There's so many things I would love to do with my life but I struggle finding myself doing none of them. For what? I wish I knew.
His videos make me cry so easily. Our of relief that I'm not alone in these thoughts
real
This comment is so real
Don't be too ambitious
That analogy of your friend being in the bathroom and the game starts really resonated with me. The whole message got summed up. Because imagine you're in that situation. If you really care about your friend you'll do your best, maybe not to win but at least to not feed. And imagine you're the friend. Would you ask the other one to play for you if you didn't trust them? This situation happened to me once. My brother had a power outage, it was a diamond LoL ranked match in a role I don't play. I'm silver and only play casually. He called me and asked me to play. The fact that I cared made me play the best that I could, I didn't screw up and the team carried me. I now understand I can look at my life through that lens. Thanks
Very few cuts yet perfect vocal consistency is amazing, I aspire to speak with a spark of his fire. 🔥
So if a person has self-esteem issues they would probably not make sacrifices to improve their life enough, because deep down they don't really care about the tomorrow's person? That's at least what makes sense to me. Tbh, I would like a video on how to cultivate more self-love without falling into the trap of vanity, because for me, it's very easy to try to love oneself more and end up being selfish or prideful, thinking oneself better than others.
Maybe you can write down a list on what you love about yourself next to a list of your weaknesses/issues you still have to work on. If you read these lists regularly (let's say once a day in the beginning, once every week after a while) you start to incorporate the thought that you are not unlovable, as you have many good traits and achievements, but not perfect either.
I'd suggest you add to the lists continuously, as you are gaining more insight about yourself or changing aspects of your character. If they get too long to read them as a whole, break them up into small parts, you could say, e.g., I will read at least 3 aspects of each list every Sunday morning at 10am. The next three next Sunday.
Also ask others (family, collegues, friends, even strangers) to give you input on them. Sometimes we are blind on our bad sides, sometimes we dont see what others appreciate about us.
Didnt mean to make such a long reply, sorry😂 Just a spontaneous idea I had when I read your comment.
Oh, and about that first question: Well, no. I have not a lot of self esteem. I do not make life good for me tomorrow. However, if I imagine Tomorrow Me to be another person, I am much more probable to make sacrifices for them, cause I love helping others.
Empathy to yourself, is all that takes to develop self-love in a healthy way. It's about you, not who's responsible to were you are, not how society makes you feel, nor the things you should have because it's what others say. As Dr K mentioned, empathy, it's no self-pity... is looking at yourself with kindness and understanding. You already know about vanity, and who you don't want to be, just work on what you want to become :)
Bro a video is not going to cleanse yourself of the brainwashing you've been a victim of. Go search for a counselor who can help you learn to love yourself(you need it bad!).
I think the solution is that if you have low self esteem, then you need to recognize that the person down the line is *not* you.
You personally may suck, but that doesn't mean you need to move it to the future you. In fact, since you suck, and future you is not you, present you should probably sacrifice themself for the benefit of the future self
I really like this reframe. I have a lot of problems with self-love. Changing perspectives that the you of tomorrow is a different person who deserves to live well and be treated right resonates more with me than the simplistic “just love yourself.” Myself sucks. But if myself is only for today and a tomorrow-self is a different character, that’s something I can wrap my head around.
Totally agree! I may be a hopelessly hedonistic asshole, but the random person who wakes up in my body in my house tomorrow deserves every chance to be happy!
What you've said makes loads of sense than self-love bullshit does. I find that letting yourself feel about how you're truly feeling about yourself is way better than self-love because it expects too much out of you and feels too similar to self-hatred and it doesn't let you address your own stuff.
@@berrysnowyboy5251we are afraid of our reality to be honest its too honest and heart breaking
One of my mottos is…. “Give a Fuc about Your Future Self” ~R Clark ‼️💯
Dr. K coming in clutch since i just started a massive project and already feeling inconsistent in my work ethic
The main idea is:
"improve things for the person who comes
next this is exactly how you should live
your life"
I started reading the Gita recently. I'm reminded of a passage:
"You have a right to your actions, / but never to your actions' fruits. / Act for the action's sake. / And do not be attached to inaction."
🧘♂️
So let me summarise for myself because he went through the points over and over again and my brain is a little confused:
Basically the you right now can only exist and live and do anything for today and right now. So you should do the best you can for the second person that will do stuff tomorrow, i. E tomorrow's you. You will never get to see the result, but you should do your best?
Idk when he says something like "for tomorrow's person" it reminds me of when people say "don't procrastinate, work hard for the you tomorrow" which is the same so my brain overlaps but it just doesn't bring the point across as well as he did, yk?
@@yuwyu4841 Tie the shoe. Wash the dish. Study for the exam. These are the same.
A similar way of thinking actually helped me so much over the last 2 years. I sometimes write in my old journal entires from 3/6/12/24 months ago, addressing myself of that time and writing to her as tho she's a separate person, discussing her ideas in the journal, the consequences and results of the things she wrote about, the things she said she would do but didn't do, and the things she said she'd quit but didn't quit. And the overall consequences for my current self.
One thing that always helpd me and continues to help at this very moment, is to think about my goals as part of my future self, like it's simply part of her, she's a different person who is capable of what I'm not yet capable of. But because someday I'll gradually stop being the current self and become this future self, there's a bridge between us that I'm constantly walking. There's no destiny in this, if I stop walking I stop reaching to this future self. So every little step matters. Even if it seems difficult or even impossible in the current moment, I must do even the most little and seemingly pointless things, because if I keep going, I'll keep skewing the odds in the favor of that future.
Also I like to remind myself that this act of walking the bridge is life itself. To stop walking is to stop living. When I feel scared and want to stop or turn around in fear, I remind myself that it would be a pity to stop walking now when I'm still able to, because one day I will not be able to anymore. And regrets of living in fear and avoidance are the most common kinds of regrets dying people have. Memento Mori.
This touched me, thank you for sharing.
This is so beautiful and wise. Thank you for sharing! ✨
Thank you for everything Dr K and the team at HG. It really does help.
This completely changed how I view consistency. Thank you for sharing!
I find this analogy with different people spawning in difficult for me to understand, but maybe another way to phrase it is: You have no control over yourself tomorrow, cause future you does not exist yet. You only have control over yourself right now. You don't know if you will do the dishes tomorrow, but if you are able to do them right now, you can do them right now and be sure that tomorrow you, whether he could have done them or not, doesn't need to.
I hope I'm not misunderstanding the point Dr. K tried to make
Imagine your body to be a coat one is wearing. Today, you, @domninin, are wearing it, and you live the life attached to the body/coat. Tomorrow, you will have taken it off and someone else will wear it and live that life. Lets call them Robbie. You are washing the dishes today so Robbie wont wake up to a sink full of dirty dishes. After Robbie, it's, lets say, Lee's turn with the coat and the life. Robbie, however, was not as nice as you and didnt do the dishes. Also, they went to bed really late cause they were gaming. In consequence, Lee wakes up very tired and first thing they see is the dirty sink.
Do you get the concept? Try to make life as good as possible for the next coat wearer. Of course they are not Robbie or Lee, they are all domninin, but it still applies: Be nice to future you. Make sacrifices for them.
THANK YOU
@@Ananalias I get that part, but the analogy does not hit for me because it is not really random. I know I will always be in the same body, with the same capabilities, the only thing changing is my emotional state (for lack of a better term). But I get the point Dr. K is trying to make, I think.
@@domninin well.. technically capabiities changing too - just usually at a slower pace then emotions. And sometimes fast - like losing a limb or an eye and etc.
I'm really liking the way the channel has been going.
The theory is interesting and all, but i think that real, tangible strategies for making better decisions is what the community really needs.
Makes sense, agreed.
Isn't that what "Dr. K's Guide" should offer… or not?!
They're very easy to improvise, I've done it many times. Btw when they fail they fail for dumb reasons, and Dr K helps with that.
its not a theory. we have litteraly a brain part for it and we know how this it works
This makes so much sense. I’ve never met my goals because past self hasn’t set me up to achieve those. But today self can! This is truly life changing stuff! Thank you so much Dr. K!
Just stumbled upon this channel and was really strunggling about consistency in my life. This showed me a new perspective on the matter. Thank you.
Hey congrats on 2 million subs! This channel has helped me out more then I could have ever dreamed, thank you so much for making this a thing.
I suffer from a nasty fatigue syndrome, I force myself doing the relaxation/meditation exercises by doing it for the 'me' of tomorrow. And i found indeed that since that mindset I have been more consistent with it.
Every time I watched a Dr. K video it's felt like a new song I've discovered or an old fav poppin in to say hi. I didn’t know I needed to hear it in that moment, and yet it's spookily accurate to my current situation
I have had this concept of life being like a game for years but could never explain it properly to anyone, and you have done amazingly good! Thank you.
I was thinking throughout this video that your main idea (being the custodian for your future self) sounded a LOT like the foundation of self love so I was pleasantly surprised by your final talking points :)
Dr.K is the only one useful therapy I can actually afford 😭
Thank you for this perspective, Dr. K and team 🙏
I love how in the beginning your analogy of “early game, mid game powerspike, end game” really betrays your dota 2 affinity lol. Great video!!
I seem to have the opposite issue: I was raised in a mindset that all good things have to be 'earned'. I rebelled a lot in my younger years but 10 years ago I started gradually doing things for my future self. It got more and more rewarding and became my default way of living to the point that it's very hard for me to have fun. I always look into the future, laying things down for tomorrow me and not able to enjoy the present. Even on a day off I clean and meal-prep. I really do appreciate yesterday's me for all the work she did, and this nice feeling reinforces the habit even more. Don't get me wrong - I became 'successful at life' and truly enjoy cooking, got good at it as well (which is a double-edged sword as I almost stopped eating out since most of the time I prefer my own meals) but I struggle with enjoying fruits of my labor, always on the go doing something 'productive' - if not for now, then for tomorrow's me. Any tips on how to find fun again?
Dont only see Future You as a different person. Also see Yesterday You as one. Give them a name, if you want. They deserve to have happy moments, right? When someone does all those helpful things for you, you want them to also enjoy a bit. And if someone preps a mean for you- wouldnt it make them glad to know how much you liked it? Eat it with all of your senses. Do things that are good for you, not only things that are productive for your life, but things that are healthy for your soul. Do it, because you know Yesterday You and Future You would want you to enjoy. Be happy not because you think you owe them, but because you know it makes them happy to see you happy.
It will take a while, though. So please give yourself and the other Yous some time. Happiness needs practice, too.
This seems really difficult. My mind immediately jumped to 'but my tomorrow self will be even more grateful if I used this time productively' as I trained myself to sacrifice today for a better tomorrow but of course tomorrow never comes. So my yesterday's self gets the appreciation, tomorrow's self gets better starter pack at respawn but today's self is the one always grinding. I try to combat it by blocking half of the Saturday for myself to do whatever I want to, but lately I ran out of fun things to try out and need for productivity started to sneak into this time as well. It's like I forgot how to have fun. Or maybe what's fun for me doesn't fit with current standards? Maybe as the next step I will make a rule that I'm not allowed to do anything productive in this block and get clarity on that question 😅
@@gosiam4910 what are the current standards for having fun? And what are yours?
@@Ananalias 'can i think for a moment?' XD
@@gosiam4910 haha, sure
Man I remember talking to my mom about this very topic. I even said "It feels like I am a different person everyday I wake up each day."
Guys do not say I feel like women say this feminine trait
@@perrycoffey5410 your comment doesn't make much sense. Sure our gender can influence how we speak, but none of us are determined 100% by gender. Ultimately we are all just people, gender doesn't have as much weight as you may assume it does.
@@perrycoffey5410anything wrong with feminine traits?
man I have been watching and appreciating your content for a while now. but this video just hit me differently. I'm gonna start right now looking at my life like a game. I hope this actually works out for me.
Lots of love from germany
I have been drawing for as long as I can remember, but then due to depression and addiction and adult life as a whole I stopped for a really long time. But I was still telling people that I am an artist, until someone asked to see my recent works. And then I realized that it was kinda weird to call myself an artist if I don't create art.
Then I stumbled upon the similar idea in rehab. They taught us that we have to actively choose sobriety each day, and if we don't then we will relapse in near future. There is also this concept of "Today only". You don't have to worry about the fact that you can NEVER EVER use drugs in your life, instead just focus on being clean today.
It's something that I've learned the hard way - you cannot BECOME someone, you can only make an everyday choice to BE that person you want to be.
A few months ago I started doing stuff for my future self and my life got better.
This video really cements what I have been experiencing and having this pov on life really helps with having the right approach mindset on each day.
I'm a custodian for tomorrow's spawn and the more the spawns keep this going the more OP the avatar becomes.
Thank you Dr!
Thinking of my 'self' as a consciousness manifesting in some random guy's body is a really interesting perspective.
Wow, this hits hard. I’m 30, and sometimes I feel like I started life too late of low self esteem and bad consistency over the years, plus dealing with no self love. It’s hard to get out of that mindset of not being a people pleaser.
I don’t know if I should regret it (sure/I do), but I can only move…forward. That’s it. Thank you for the video.
This is sooo original and really blew my mind! Please never stop posting! This video is literally gold❤
I start my first real job since graduating college this Thursday and I’m binging your videos again to help me feel less anxious 😅
word.. good luck !
Remember that feelings like excitement and anxiety stem from anticipations about future events. You can't be anxious if you're living in the present.
U got this king
Hope you got a wonderful experience out there!
Good luck as well!
Also, try to live in the present moment too.
Don't let (superb) Dr K's videos to become an escape thing.
The self-love (or lack thereof) causation hits me the hardest. Thanks for bringing this to the front of my mind. ❤
Thanks Dr. K, I felt that for a very long time but couldn't put it to words
youre so incredibly kind, thank you for this. time to hop off and do the shit I've been wanting to do for months
This is real talk, awesome work Dr K. Really broke it down well.
Thank you, Dr K, that's incredible. Me today being the custodian of my own self that will appear tomorrow - I never considered that perspective. Being a terribly procrastinating human being myself you gave me a point of view I can relate to. Thank you for sharing!
Dr.K I saw a podcast of talking about your life and I loved it. I realized that my diet has been a little bumpy. I just got the new blue-collar job and it's amazing, but I sometimes feel stressed out about my diet and fell off for about 2 or 3 days. I just want to thank you for making a video about consistency and how to do it better. You have given me a new prospective about it.
Been thinking about this for awhile but never put it in words as great as this. Love the work you do
I am a freelancer and a small business owner. But I am not consistent and addicted to video game. I keep procrastinate doing things. I am 33, not yet married.
It's not going to be easy, but I believe in you random person on the internet. And tomorrow you aswell. :)
Do you want to get married?
I'm in a similar boat! Consistency is so important when you're a freelancer or business owner, but it feels so hard to achieve!
been watching Dr.K for a while I love how I understand a lot of what he's talking about and I get to know myself better and be healthier mentally listening to some of his therapy.
I have never shared a video on Facebook before from RUclips. This was a no brainer. Like I need to awaken others like this has awoken me. Thank you.
This video is top tier. Extremely succinct and clear description of the issue. Thank you Dr k.
This, in some way, also extends into if you suffer emotionally. It can maybe help you distance yourself from the suffering, helping you see things more clearly:
You are only stewarding this character for today. It just so happens that this character is suffering.
What small actions can you bring into this characters life, so it will be a better experience playing it when you give back the controller to the owner?
(I feel the illusion of you just stewarding the game with the intent to give it back to the owner is more effective than the thought of just giving it to the next steward in a long line of stewards. The first gives a purpose. The second can lead to a belief of endlessness and no change happening)
Just a few weeks ago I solved my own internal problem of why we should do what should be done rather what we want to be done and I came to the exact same conclusion using a generalization of delayed gratification, this is so validating to hear.
Everyone always spouts delayed over instant gratification but I think you can take it even further and add a second dimension of who is receiving the end benefits - and arrived at the conclusion that the most good form of gratification is one where 1) the receiver isn't you, it's outside of you and 2) you will never even observe the fruits of your labor. The idea being to tie my reward system to acting in alignment with this ideal. I guess I would call it infinite horizon gratification and it spot on to what you're saying in this video Dr. K, amazing stuff.
From the deepest darkest corner of my gamer heart, thank you dr. K ❤
As a gamer, i can relate his analogy with game, everything is clear and make sense now.
The point is, there is no tomorow, no yesterday, only now.
I feel like with this approach you can turn toxic shame into responsibility for the tommorow you. Because there's no reason to blame that other yesterday-me for something that I need today. And it is very exciting to believe that one day tommorow-me will be having his best life because of the work I do today
This is a very interesting perspective I never thought of. Long story short I am severely ADHD and PTSD and never truly started recovering from my divorce back in 2009 until about 2018. I moved from NJ to TX in 2015 because my family never supported my divorce and my ex wasn't leaving me alone. It took 3 years with a clean slate and living in poverty before I started recovering emotionally from that and the first thing I noticed was that the moment I got enough money to live I'd sink into this downward spiral that until I went into therapy I hadn't realized it was a trauma response. My life in NJ was everything taken from me so the moment I had money, yes I'd pay my bills and catch up but then I would spend what was left on whatever and then when it was gone wake up wondering where it all went. I had developed this mentality of I need to spend this on me now before someone takes it. Then I noticed that for 3 years even after finding a place to live I never unpacked. I was always in a state of moving because what if danger returns? (stalking ex). I didn't buy things I liked, didn't treat myself to a book I wanted, a figurine, something simple, not expensive because I had this fear that why should I bother, someone is just going to take this from me.
Looking at my past self with this perspective I was sabotaging future me because of my fear of my life I gained back being suddenly taken from me again and it was a thing that did happen over and over until I completely cut off my family, moved far away enough to where it was too expensive for my ex to continue to stalk me (which is lucky because a LOT of victims of domestic violence don't get that luxury).
I moved from CA to AZ and it's like the same game, but I had a job lined up before I moved so the "recovery" was super quick. Honestly a lot of this is just the place.
I'm so glad you escaped! Best of luck to you and your future self!❤😊
I'm happy that you are finally free. ❤️❤️❤️
You are a beautiful human. Thank you for helping so many of us. You know, I have berated myself all my life about my obesity, my ADHD, my chronic insomnia... I stopped loving myself at some point, and the stories I tell myself became the narrative.
I've known my obesity is connected to my lack of self worth and self value, but I've never had anyone explain the link to the actual behaviour of not being consistent because of not loving today and tomorrow's person enough. When I heard that, I felt sooooo much compassion for myself. This has helped reframe things so much, thank you ❤
I need to hear this today❤.. I'm suffering from immense guilt of not being consistent, not achieving anything, not even aiding my family financially. Thank you sir, your wisdom toiched my heart. From now on i try to live like I only live today❤❤..
This new way of thinking about the problem of procrastination as a body swap comedy was pure genius. Kudos to you Dr K.
I have been struggling with consistency myself and with only 330 days left until 2025, this video gave me a new perspective.
I'm at a point in my life where I'm struggling to decide whether I should double down on my old business or pivot and start a new one. I feel like I'm paralysed, unable to make a decision. I wish I don't drive myself insane because I can't risk sabotaging this new relationship with this amazing person I met a few months ago.
Wish me luck guys! Your boy will make it this time 🙏🏻
Good luck ✨ Wishing you lot's of happiness ahead
Having limited spoons (vocab moment: in chronic illness circles "spoons" refers to the finite amount of energy a chronically ill person has for a day) makes this so fucking Real. I have more spoons today than I usually do so I'm gonna do literally every chore in the house and literally everything I can so that way if tomorrow me has low spoons she can just rest. And if tomorrow me also has a lot of spoons she'll figure out something to do probably
Ive watched a lot of ur videos but this is easily the most profound idea that's been new to me. Id add that this works moment to moment, not just each day.
Absolutely loved this concept! Thanks a lot for the wake up call!
00:00 🎮 Developing consistency in life as a gamer involves leveling up traits like motivation and discipline.
01:47 🧘 The core issue with consistency is not lack of motivation, but the ignorance of one's true self.
04:04 🔄 Understanding that you are not the same person every day is crucial for consistency in life.
09:02 🎮 Applying gaming principles to life, understanding the flow of the "game" is essential for consistency.
13:35 🔄 Accepting that you are a temporary custodian of your life, and living for today, improves consistency.
14:14 🤔 Paradoxically, understanding gaming principles can shed light on ancient concepts like ignorance leading to suffering.
How come this comment doesn't have so many likes?? This is gold...
Thanks for the tldr
I came to this conclusion and started implementing solutions a few months ago. IT WORKS! Give it a chance and stick with it. Do it for you =)
can't stick with it longer than a day though, cuz the next day's dude is not you.
I love how you said you leave things for another person and I agree that you get mad at the person that came before you and that ends up building resentment and keeps you stuck in that cycle of procrastination. Another thing that may help overcome procrastination and increase productivity would be to identify when you are most alert and productive during the day and schedule your most challenging tasks for those times. This can help maximize your efficiency and make it easier to start tasks.
I start my first real job since graduating college this Thursday and I’m binging your videos again to help me feel less anxious
Hearing how different people control my life and wake up sometimes is funny in context of me having DID. Yea, no shit, I know!
I'm extremely consistent at being inconsistent
This honestly saved my day tysm for making sense when nothing else does
This is deep, and it nicely fills in some gaps in my mental model of the world that I've built when I was pondering on the same topics.
I'd say, these ideas brilliantly bind together the "being present in the moment" philosophy (only what you do while playing is what matters) and the "being future-conscious" philosophy (have long-term goals and strive towards them, don't screw things up for tomorrow's guy but make it easier for him instead).
P.S. Please do more of such podcasts (where philosophy meets psychology), I think it’s extremely valuable.
Im so consistently inconsistent 😂😂 cant beat me in that.
that's a wonderful concept and I don't think I have ever thought about it this way, stepping out to view your life in a third person perspective and setting up for the coming person. This I feel not only removes the pent up guilt for the things that you may intentionally or unintentionally done in the past, and directs focus towards making the future and making things work out better.
Thank you doc, this was a perspective I’ve never had but always needed. Feels like life changing way of living. Thanks!
I cannot comprehend how this video ended up on my recommended at the exact time I needed it to. Dr. K is living must be living in my walls and I am all for it.
Personally hearing the quote "You don't exist beyond today" clicked in a way no other sentence ever has. From there on out the whole video was in direct flow with my thought process. It all made sense. Hopefully, the guy who steps in for me tomorrow gets it as well.
Moreover, I feel like this has power beyond the world of consistency. As someone who is currently working on getting out of his shell I see this as a form of safety net when anxiety and doubt start building up. No matter what the guy tomorrow will step into your shoes, did you embarrass yourself trying to have fun, trying to step out of your comfort zone? Did a social interaction not go according to plan? The you that experienced it will not exist tomorrow, but you have set up tomorrows you have collected the experience for tomorrow's you to utilize and make the same process easier.
As another person commented below as well, treating your future self as another person is quite the trick to taking care of ones self. Personally, I feel like I have always neglected myself yet have been ready to sacrifice nearly anything to help someone else. Time to see if the person that wakes up tomorrow needs some help I guess.
The step you take today will always leave a footprint on the road you walk on, yet the person who stood in it will not be there tomorrow, it will be the you of that day stepping into new ground- moving on with the knowledge that was derived from past.
If Dr.K was living underneath my bed all this time I wouldn't be surprised. He always comes out with the right videos for the problems I'm having at the moment, it's almost scary :')
You have no idea how much I needed this right now THANK YOU DR K!!!
This actually worked. When I was just sitting in our house, I see our laundry not folded. I could just leave it but It will be hard for me to find my clothes. If I would just fold my clothes, It would take time to pick and choose which clothes are mine which means it would be better to fold all the clothes. It felt good after folding them because everything is in order and removed a large clutter of our house. (it's not about folding clothes, it's about finding my clothes for tommorow's school which are in the unfolded laundry)
"And this is the part where self-love is important."
Man, you're gonna make me cry. That is too accurate.
The guy that doesn't play his 5 min, Is literally my jungler
I like this analogy, but I'd like to add something. I think it's useful to think that you only control your life for today, however once in a year you come back to the body and get to see the results of everybody's work in yourself
This is one of the best channels on youtube. This stuff is changing my life for the good thank you.
Randomly refreshed and this was posted 13 seconds ago
wtf me too
13 minutes for me.
@@Sean_Screaming_DavisMy bad. just thought it was kind of cool considering I’m not sitting here refreshing all day.