What went wrong moving to Germany CULTURE SHOCKS with
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- Опубликовано: 5 ноя 2022
- Here´s the link to Brit in Germany´s video: • WHY is GERMAN so DIFFI...
Culture shocks are real. I have decided to share my experiences of life in Germany as a Brit, as well as the beautiful places I am lucky enough to visit.
My meditative videos show a calming and artistic view of the places I visit and the quiet, peaceful wanders I take through them. Medieval villages, picturesque cottages, beautiful cities. Relax and escape with me from the busy bustling world to my dreamy and serene slow living way of seeing my surroundings. Experience the magic of peering into the past and being in a fairytale, just for a little while.
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❓ Is this what you thought Germany would look like?
Tell me what you think in the comments, I´d love to know.
👩🏻👋🏻 I´m Celtic, (Welsh), and I feel very much at home in beautiful Germany.
I feel a strong desire to share these moments of beauty with you, in the hope that it will also lift your spirits.
❓ What to watch next❓
my MAGICAL Germany playlist
• Pure MAGIC in an encha...
A dreamy journey through the city of Lübeck: • That made sure I´ll ne...
Finding Germany´s MOST BEAUTIFUL village and searching for legends on a North Sea GERMAN ISLAND: • Germany´s MOST BEAUTIF...
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#germany #culturaldances #lifeingermany
Hello . Fun video. I was A 14 yr old German, moved to US. Going to London in 3 weeks, then Germany. It's true, my German nature comes out more the older I get. And it's more direct. When I invite someone for dinner they say oh you don't have to do that, and my reply back is if I didn't want to invite you I would not have invited you. I find Americans tend to say hey let's have coffee and then there's never any follow-through, whereas if it said it in Germany there will definitely be coffee or dinner or whatever. Read blogs and that's the biggest complaint, not being able to make friends easily. I have to say I do have the same problem here in the US and I have been here most of my life.
I hope you make friends wherever you end up.
This was so much fun Lauren. Thank you for having me and I’m so glad we didn’t give up after being sent away at first . Perseverance pays off😉
Ah, we had SUCH a good laugh, Benikon! I had forgotten that kind of connection. Thanks for coming on!
This is the best living in Germany channel I've come across. You hit the nail on the head, you're funny, witty yet very serious. Perhaps because I'm South African and apart of the english speaking nations I relate to your experiences here very well. I love the, very much needed, witty comic relief. The accent is inviting too :-). Thank you!
Wow, thank you! That´s really a huge compliment!
Uh Renee thanks for loving Germany nontheless.
Interesting video. So pleased I've found your channel.
Thank you, that’s wonderful!
thanks for showing us Ben in his full glory
and you already know what I think of your co-labs and videos: MORE!
Isn’t he great? I love how his sense of humour came out. I already have more collabs planned, they are so wonderful to do.
@@LaureninGermany you are too kind
@@britingermany not at all, you‘re great company, I mean every word!
I strongly believe that the most underestimated requirement to become a happy expat in Germany is the command of German language. The better your German language skills, the better the chances to become at home here, and the worse those skills, the worse your chances. Especially in the cities and/or among people below 60 years of age, you will be able to get along without many problems speaking no German at all. But you will have a very, very hard time to find friends outside of the expat community this way.
And yes, directness on the cost of being taken as impolite is in fact part of German culture. This is especially hard for people coming from cultures where "loosing the face" is a thing, or native English speakers, where "political correctness" is going overboard and turning into constant verbal sugar coating.
I agree!
A hint for all coming to germany and wanting to stay a bit longer: try to find some Vereine (i.e. Clubs) that you may want to join, because german adults are very much living in their clubs. For example, look for a club to do jogging or walking together. Or if you live in an area with local speciality traditions you might want to join them, the Carnival in the Rhine-Area or southern germany. Or a sailing club if you live on the coast. Or maybe some club for fishing, even hunting. Or maybe you like to have a Schrebergarten (a small garden in a city region), and meet the neighbors there. Even taking part in trade unions or political parties can help getting in touch with people. Or you could give lessons about almost anything in a local VHS (adult schooling club), not neccesarry english 😅
Lol… you need to see my last but one video- the coolest thing about the Germans!
@@LaureninGermany yes! Everyone go and see that one! 😃
@@sisuguillam5109 they did. Just not on my channel 💔
@@LaureninGermany yeah... shame.
Hopefully they will look into your channel over time.
I experienced (as a German) enough Vereine, where they stayed super cold and didn't want to connect with me, because I was a "stranger" = not from this village. Once a Kassiererin in a supermarket said to me "when you live 10 years here, then my colleagues will START to speak to you", and indeed, for the first years some even not responded when we said "Guten Morgen". That depends very much on the area, not really on the big areas like a Bundesland, but within the big areas there are smaller parts where it is kind of impossible to connect with the locals, if you are not borne there. And Vereine not necessarily help there.
7:25 That is what the British and Americans are famous for globally: If someone does not understand English they just get louder and louder instead of speaking more slowly which would solve the problem in 95% of cases.
So embarrassing - but some of you get your revenge on us, I can promise you...!
With British kindness and politeness you can easily become kind of 'suspicious' in Germany:-) Not really easy for a German to deal with.
Absolutely, that has been my experience. It’s also not easy for me to deal with, from the other side.
@@LaureninGermany ...ich lach mich jetzt noch kaputt über den Arzt, der geglaubt hat, nur weil Du 'so happy to see him' warst, das sei die klare Ansage zum Flirt gewesen.
@@JohannesRegnitz die Story of my Life in Germany….
Wie wahr
This is the most discouraging realization, that my attempts to put people at ease, to be nice, are causing distrust, not a feeling of comfort which was the goal. The result is, when I'm tempted to say something nice, I often just stay silent. It's depressing for me to think back over the years in Germany, how many hundreds of times I've made people suspicious when I've handed out compliments. My MiL couldn't handle me telling her the dinner was wonderful, because I said it too enthusiastically, I suppose. She stood there in shocked silence, the look on her face was one of "I'm a victim of manipulation!"
Just a simple joke from northern germany: two northern men meet on a Park bench. The first says moin. The second man replies moin aswell. The comes a third man who says moin, moin. The first two than stood up, walked away and that He talis tooooo much. Love your vlog
Moin moin?! He‘s talking our heads off! Nichts gesagt ist genug…
Hi guys!
I live in Germany for some 10 years now and i must say that i really like it that there is no small talk and that the Germans are mostly very direct.All that Holywood fake smiles,playacting is getting on my nerves to be honest.
Without wannting to offend anyone,but the Americans are the most extreme when it comes to this.Mostly too loud,somethimes even rude and arrogant.Not every American of course,but it's common.
As a United fan i travel a lot to Manchester,England and the differences between England and Germany is very obvious.It depends from person to person wich style suits you better,but the fact is that there is a huge gap between the two mentalities.As i've said,i prefer the more "conservative" German way,but i am also a fan of a proper British humor :-)
As always,this was a great video again,keep up the good work.Take care.Greetings from Westerwald.
I need to go to Britain soon. I haven´t been for ages and I would be really interested to see how I feel now. Are you originally from the North, Tiborg?
I am in the U.K. right now - Brighton to be precise and I think I really had forgotten how open and friendly the Brits can (not always) be. I was overtaking an old man walking up the stairs and he asked me if we could swap knees! We then had a 5 minute conversations about knees, hips, getting old and keeping fit…it was mad 😂. Another lady saw me taking a photo of a seagul and came over to give me tips on the best bird viewing spots on the beach🤷🏼♂️. Maybe it’s Brighton but I haven’t had these kind of Chance conversations with strangers in years.
@@LaureninGermany Hehe,i was born in a Hungarian family in the North,but North Serbia 😀Living in Germany for a decade,but i really love England to be honest.Whole my life i was in some kind of a connection with the Brits.I mean,i love English humor (Only fools and Horses,Monthy piton etc),i read mostly books from English writers (Sir Conan Doyle,Agatha Christie,Alan Poe etc),music like Pink Floyd,Placebo,Joy Division,David Bowie etc.And than there is Manchester United,my love and passion that lasts more than 30 years now....All my life i had this special connection with England,but somehow i ended up in Germany (wich i don't regret either).
Anyway,i would like to say that i really enjoy your videos.It gives me a bit more insight about the British mentality.
You are a very nice person and i am sure your channel will grow fast.Wish you all the best to you and your channel.Have a lovely Sunday,take care....
@@britingermany I am soooo jealous! I love Brighton, too!
@@WesterwalderAdler what a lovely thing to say! Thank you so much. My husband‘s family are German/Hungarians, btw. The world is a small place.
Denglish: omg. not possible to avoid it. As you said in the middle of the sentence.
Long story short:
When I was studying at a British University I was learning Spanish (do not ask why) - In a test, we had to translate stuff back.
Translating from English into Spanish was fine, funnily the way back was Spanish => German => English.
It happened that I somehow swapped in the middle of one sentence in the written translation into German, but I did not recognize it. When I had the test back, the teacher actually assumed that I had not enough time to finish and had therefore continued in German, she had given it to the German teacher who translated it into English and marked it 👍👍👍, and I was flabbergasted.
She actually was flabbergasted when she heard that I have not done it consciously. :)
I find how we use languages fascinating. I really feel you, and can totally understand how you had a brain blip like that! I think it´s kind of pure communication at that point.
I learned Latin here in Germany recently, and my God, it was almost painful, it was so anstrengend - but it improved everything.
@@LaureninGermany With Latin in background, one understands the German grammar better.
@@angelikafranz4545 it works both ways, too- I understood Latin relatively quickly because I had learnt German.
Wait, that was 12 minutes?
It seemed like only 5 to me. Waaay too short!
That’s great, I always want to cut stuff because I’m worried about being boring!
@@LaureninGermany ich für meinen Teil sehe es so:
Jeder hat nur ein begrenzte Zeit für private social media. 20 min >guter< content ( jenseits der Oberflächlichkeiten ) haben für mich Wert. Also: das schaffst Du Lauren! 😊 Storytelling dieser Art wächst mit der Zeit; der Erfahrung; der Mut, Kreativität umzusetzen und dem Ackern für neu zu lernenden Fähigkeiten des Vudeo- Schnitts. 🤪 😄, was einem viel abverlangt. Dann: ist sind längere Videos definktiv nicht! langweilig für mich; sondern ich lerne gerne auch 20 min, 40 min ...usw. Nur Mut, Lauren 🤗😘
You are such a adorable woman 😊 How can somenone NOT want to be friend with you? 😊But i agree, as a born german, living since birth in Germany, it is hard to make new friends if you leave your comfort zone and live somewhere else in Germany and start to makle new friends, yes, can be very hard. But imo, if you make friends, then they are friends. well, okay, depens on which german, but generally i mean.Oh and i hope for more collaboration videos! there are a lot of english speaking natives living in germany i subscribed too.
Thank you for subscribing, that´s fantastic! Yes, I´m loving the collaborations - it´s so much fun and really motivating. And thank you for your lovely words, too. You are right - the friends I made, stayed friends, even far away!
Hey, I follow him, too! The world's small 😄❤️
I‘m on his channel, too! We had so much fun!
When I went to GB first time in the 70s, I thought the british people are so funny and positive and I liked it so much. It didnt change. Now I am in my 60s, still love the brits (trotz Brexit) and watch two chanels of my favorite brits in germany. All the best Lauren.
That´s great to hear! Thank you! I loved meeting up with Benikon because we both fell back into our British ways quite quickly and it was kind of reassuring to me that I´m not making it up - we really are like this!
Thanks for watching😊it was a lot of fun🎉
,,,,,a cool video keep up the great content.. Thank you….
Thanks, I will try!
@@LaureninGermany Thank you very mutch... have a nice Start of the week.... see you….
You make a point with that difference in "tact". I was working 2 month in Hull as a consultant in a company and - despite my bad english - was realizing at the meetings how much they were talking and less they were saying. At the end of the meeting I wanted to assure that I understood decisions and outcome and was giving a summarazing in two or three sentences. And that was it.... They also wanted me to push people who are in delay to their own commitments but this was to hard for me so I was always escalating it to my manager, and ask him what to do next. He responded that we have to take what we say. I just was feeling like at a conference with diplomats there. I feel very comfortable with the english style of tactfullness and had from beginning on this sensibility to adopt - within the boarders of my english skills - but I also see clearly the other side (at least for working culture): Issues, no PROBLEMS ( ;-) ) will not be pointed out clearly and adressed. A lot of time is getting wasted with unnecessary meetings. Employes have no clear idea what the supervisor excpect from him and so on....
When I was a student at the LMU Munich I was playing in the university Icehockey team..we had a lot of teammates from different faculties and countries and we were always struggling about the way we were playing...but after the game we were sitting together having a lot of beer and all of that struggling was immidiately forgotten......
That´s why I love sport - you can really let it all out, but it´s just sport and then you can enjoy the togetherness afterwards.
My two favourite Brits! 😍😍
Hey Arno, were you surprised?
Unsere, Arno, unsere.😂
@@LaureninGermany Just a little 😉
@@tasminoben686 ❤️
@@LaureninGermany 🫶🏻🤘🏻✌🏻✌🏻
regarding the friendliness in conversation, could it be germans not only are more direct in their communication, but also more impatient to get to the point.
Yes, I think so, too.
Good morning (a late one, but hey it's a sunday)!
Hoffe Du hast einen schönen, ruhigen Sonntag.
Hallo Sisu, I am so slow in the mornings, whichever weekday it is! I wish you a lovely day.
@@LaureninGermany 🥰 Aufstehen ist blöd!
@@LaureninGermany and as I am watching the other video: Volunteering to babbel hessisch! Mein Akzent ist nicht so ausgeprägt aber ich werde mich bemühen!
I will barely understand it, don´t worry! But I will have to hug you when I hear it.
@@LaureninGermany 😁 hugs are always welcome!
When I was in the USA with my German accent, they were relatively polite and said to me "You have a nice accent".
But a few years later, when I happened to visit England, people corrected my pronunciation teacher-like or treated me as if I were stupid. Sorry, I have to share that. Well, there are nice people everywhere in the world, and you definitely belong to the nice people with empathy and tact.
I am so sorry they did that. It’s actually a ridiculous thing to do. As long as you can understand the person, the accent can’t be wrong. There are so many accents just among native speakers. Maybe an occasional correction is helpful if it makes it easier for a foreigner to communicate, but- der Ton macht die Musik when correcting/helping someone.
i think i would have enjoyed being in this conversation. i enjoy quick wit. The kind of humor that only works with other people like that. I think i do that quite well in both languages by now. so next time, invite me ;) if i am in the country i would definitely participate. I am saying this as a german.... and in english, so you can feel more comfortable :)
I would be intrigued to see how we would get on in person, when we would finally get to look each other in the eyes, Uli!
3:33 Just let them speak English to you and you speak German to them, that way both of you can increase their active vocabulary (since the passive one is unusually bigger anyways).
In theory, that’s a great idea, but it rarely works. It adds another dimension of difficulty for the brain, and although I wouldn’t have been so direct when I first came, I shall dare to say it now: I didn’t move to Germany for Germans to practice their English. Especially when they then all speak German together and I‘m lost. I didn’t absorb enough passively until I started watching German TV and RUclips.
When you talk to a person you called in to solve a problem of yours, you don't expect him to be happy to be at your place rather than make you happy being able to solve your problem. Done that you can have small talk with him as much as you or he like, but not before unless you know him very well and you know that he would do anyhthing to solve your problem. In that case you can put the small talk first, then shortly state your ptoblem and let him go like "Yeah, i now know what you want and I come back to you the day after tomorrow with the solution to your problem."
It´s so difficult! I feel like I am being so unfriendly. But I understand what you mean.
The point about directness is always something that i find super interesting. I liked that you two pointed out that it seems to be a cultural difference in the perception of tact.
I mean it certainly differs from person to person and depends on the exact context but my perception is that in germany it can even come across as a bit rude to be toooo much concerned about not seeming tactless. Im especially thinking about work. What i mean is that it might seem like disrespecting another persons time if you beat around the bush too much and the result might be a sentiment of "urgh...this could have been done in 1/3 of the time". I also feel like it might be perceived as not being taken seriously in some contexts and as someone who needs to be only given sugarcoated pieces of information. Maybe i can give another example to provide some context on directness. Literally happened for me working as software engineer in western germany.
Person 1 looks at system-architecture-diagrams on a whiteboard "This looks stupid."
Person 2 (the one who did the architecture) "Yeah...i haven't been satisfied with it for a while now. I should change that."
Noone was offended, nothing was taken personally, there was no bad mood afterwards. Very good team though in my opinion, extremely professional in that sense. Professional in working with given resources and with regards to discussing criticism and possible solutions to problems, people being very interested in learning. Quite refreshing in my opinion. I don't know if it's like that everywhere in germany. But that kind of communication can definitely catch you off-guard if you are not used to it i guess XD
That’s a very good point. It’s really difficult for me to hit the right balance of to the point and not rude. But I really appreciate tact when being given feedback.
Freunde zu finden ist in Deutschland etwas schwierig, aber wenn man sie hat, sind diese Freundschaften langlebig
Das stimmt.
I really like the video. Somehow I had to smile the whole time. Many memories came up again of my own experiences, from my trips to England with situations where I liked the British friendliness, but also where it irritated me. I have a question based on your conversation. Would you prefer English or German comments from me in the future?
I am always delighted to see a comment from you, Opa Andre and I honestly don’t care which language it is in. Whichever fällt Dir gerade am besten über die Tasten…
B kurzer Gruß von Hamburg in den Süden. Wie wir halt hier sind. Kurz und bündig. Muss ja nicht so viel schnacken.😅
@@tasminoben686 moin… genug gesagt!
@@LaureninGermany Jo. Sinn jo keine Schnacker nich.. u
@@tasminoben686 Guten Morgen, Ben!
Guude, Lauren. Und, wie?
Wie bitte? Ich verstehe leider nicht.
Ah- Hessisch?!! ❤️
Nur die SGE! ♥️😁
@@LaureninGermany so was von hessisch!
@@LaureninGermany Ist Hallo, wie geht es, auf Frankfurterisch.
Na, sieht ihr- ich sag, sprech hessisch mit mir, dann verstehe ich einfach nichts 🤦🏻♀️
Concerning raising suspicion, when being friendly, in Goethes Faust, zweiter Teil it says: "Im Deutschen lügt man, wenn man höflich ist."
😅
Oh no! Isn´t it strange? And, I can tell you, it rubs off...
Auch das: beleidigen, aber richtig! ist so witzig 😂😂
Oh, ich muss es mir wieder anschauen- ich weiß nicht mehr, was Du meinst!
It's true, Germans are usually very direct. Contrary to how you feel, this is by no means meant in a bad way. We are used to it and we find wrapping something in cotton candy rather annoying. We then ask ourselves: what does he or she actually want to tell us? I've seen a lot of videos here on RUclips of Americans living in Germany who describe exactly the same thing as you two do at the beginning. In the meantime, however, they have also recognized that this "rude" German way can be very practical, because it leaves no questions unanswered. What I would like to understand is what you mean by "to make friends". Are these "friends" just acquaintances or are they really "friends for life"? Everyone in Germany can find acquaintances very quickly and likeable people like you should be able to do that quickly. But friendships have to grow - they begin as acquaintances and then it sometimes takes years before it becomes a friendship. Young, well-educated people in Germany all speak English, older people not always - and when they do, they have often forgotten many words. If you speak some German, then simply ask to speak German slowly so that you have time to translate what was said for you. That almost always works.
Lauren, you make wonderful videos, your enthusiasm for beautiful places in Germany is simply indescribable and I hope that many more people will become aware of your channel. Thanks a lot for this.
I think it really depends on what you’re talking about. It can be very hurtful, you know „gut gemeint“… but sometimes people don’t know enough to be able to comment, but they do anyway. I think that’s different to the cotton candy thing, though. I’m talking about tact, which for me is trying to see something from the other person’s point of view before sharing your opinion. I think Americans are different to the British, so I can’t comment on their experiences. (QED!)
I meant friends, not acquaintances, which I don’t feel I managed to make. But maybe that’s just me! I’m a bit different, being an artist, and I moved a lot and didn’t have the same life progress at the same time as others (house, children etc).
Thank you, Ralph, I appreciate your comment and you watching!
The funny thing is: I would never think a friendly British person to be fake. Now after 21 years in the US I experienced overly "friendly" people and there always had been a pet peeve for me as a German: Why do you ask a person:" How are you?" if you don't want to hear the answer?- It used to drive me up the wall.
I do want to hear the answer - is it that Americans don´t, Elke?
@@LaureninGermany See Lauren, that was my point: You, as a British native, are sincere. In the States, no matter where you go, super market, bank, the waitress of the diner you get that question thrown at you out of courtesy, then that named person turns around and walks off. Why bother? - I have just watched your conversation with the Black Forest lady. She says it is drilled into them as kids in class always to be welcoming and friendly.-- To me it is fake especially when they put on this high pitched voice. Just makes my hair stand straight up.😂 I am done with my waffling❣
@@LaureninGermany Oh and btw: My channel's niche is ''Queen". I cannot think of a more straight forward British person than my beloved Freddie Mercury. 😉
Hello and good morning 🌞☕🥐🍌
It's nice to see that you two had fun making this video together, you had wonderful chemistry together, I loved that. If you want to move to Germany, then of course you have to bother with the German bureaucracy, just like us and that's exactly what makes newcomers in Germany one of us. United in the frustration of this bad bureaucracy and this sluggish, inflexible act. I was glad that I could have my new passport processed at the German embassy in Vienna, it was much easier. It's hard for me to speak for the south of Germany, but in Berlin, for example, all you have to do is sit down in the local neighborhood pub or café, maybe introduce yourself briefly, and if you stop by regularly on different days or evenings, you'll get in touch very quickly and with certainty Friendships, or the local clubs, are of course a great opportunity, they exist in all areas of life. It is important to convey this to other immigrants. With the language, of course, it's better if people notice that someone is trying to learn the language, that's enough. People appreciate that and are often much friendlier.
Hi Robert, I was so surprised at how much we laughed together, I hadn´t expected that! I often think I might have done better in a different area of Germany.
@@LaureninGermany
Maybe a smaller Bavarian town or community is the so-called final boss when it comes to making friends in Germany, the toughest test and if you pass it, then you can probably make it anywhere. In the south things are a little more conservative, that is then called the traditional costume club, the rifle club, home club or savings club.
We live near klingenberg, in kleinheubach. Near the roundabout in klingenberg is a Coffeeshop which is run by a woman from Föhr. Meet her nett summer! And Tell me When you go there. I would love to meet you with my wife and maybe my grandchildren.
I know Bettina, of course! And I have to make a video of the Clingenburg. I have lived in your area three Summers long- I love it! Do you know the Görlichs?
I actualy do not know them. I am a stranger here. I was born in Bremen, hat there my Lehre as a waiter and worked the in keswick, Lake district. Neuer ever had a better time.
2:48 there is that word again used by any English speaking immigrant: "expat", could you please explain to me what it means and what the difference to the term "immigrant" or "migrant" in general is?
Is it inclining a temporary status?
Or more of a refusal to assimilation, so an insistence on the fact that one is a xyz living in another country rather than being of that newly adopted country?
Does this status change at some point to immigrant?
And is it used for other people coming to an English speaking country aswell? So would I e.g. be classified as an expat in the UK if I moved there from Germany for an undefined time window, or is it more akin to emigrant and hence I could call myself a German expat but would be called immigrant by my new anglophone surroundings?
Actually, yes you would be defined as an expat. And if you had decided your move was permanent, you would also be an immigrant.
An expat is a person who lives in a country where they weren´t born. So is an immigrant. But an immigrant usually has made the decision to do that permanently, whereas an expat hasn´t yet defined the length of their stay. Unfortunately, both words have unjust racial and socio-economic connotations. I now class myself as an immigrant, but I certainly was an expat when I first came.
Refusal to assimilate - I think that can apply to both. But, if you listened further, clearly was not the case for either of us moving to Germany.
Apparently, migrant refers to a person in search of a better life, without having it already arranged, like an immigrant.
However, I think you could have found out these definitions yourself, just as easily as I have. I´m not quite sure why you asked me. If it was a genuine query, or an accusation? It is sometimes difficult to tell, through the written word.
@@LaureninGermany Oh it was a genuine query, sorry if it sounded accusatory, as both of you clearly show in your videos your appreciation of living here it didn't even cross my mind that it could come across as such.
My interest comes from the definition of a word often not being exactly how it is used and me lacking the mothertongue feel to guess the implied meanings. I only ever got a slight feeling that an expat is above a migrant in hierarchy and that occasionally perhaps also the different development statuses between the two countries play a role (so expat in a less developed country while immigrant in a more developed country)
@@hmvollbanane1259 ah, thanks for clarifying! I sometimes get comments that aren´t very friendly, as a "foreigner" here, so I wasn´t quite sure.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉😊😊😊
Here's my german insult: Deine bezaubernde Ausstrahlung ist eine sehr willkommene Abwechslung in den grauen Herbsttagen.
Solche „Beleidigungen“ sind leicht auszuhalten, auch wenn man sie versteht! Lieben Dank! And I hope we will have more Golden Autumn and not so much from those awful no-weather, white sky days.
1:18 about to be correct, but it depends on the reply, if the guy does not reply he does not want to talk, if he does you can have chat. In this example however it was very, very awkward, even for a German :)
Of course he wants to talk, he just doesn´t know it lmao! The last guy I talked to who behaved like Benikon did in the video, I married.
@@LaureninGermany haha😂 Oh my ❤❤
I'm too late for comment to be seen. But - as a german - I want to share my view about the directness. I really like the idea to make the other comfortable and I do it myself. But I didn't do it by saying it "durch die Blume", which means trying to hide my real meaning with friendly words. Instead I use my directness too to say I'm concerned about how the other understand what I meant. For example, if I want something, I not only say it's important, I also ask what it meant to the other. If it's too much, I want to know this in the same way. This makes the directness more to a honest interaction with openness.
So "Tell me how you think about it and I will adjust to it". This is something germans understand. They aren't one-way direct. They expect an answer on the same level and come to terms with it. (Atleast mostly do.) And finding a solution which acknowlegdes the other is what I think makes it comfortable afterwards. And makes it as open as possible. Nothing left which can reappear in a bad way later, which can really harm the relationship.
Hi Kokuswolf, tact doesn‘t hide the real meaning. It‘s just about finding a kind way to say something, and thinking about how the other person will feel before you say something. Of course, this only works if you are not thick-skinned, as a lot of Germans seem to be in comparison with the Brits!
Actually, you‘ve inspired me to bring this topic up again in another video, as I have also been thinking about it since this one. Thanks for commenting, you weren‘t too late!
@@LaureninGermany I see. I may have troubles to explain myself good enough. Even if you're direct, it's not necessary to be harsh. Maybe it's because of what everyone expects. If someone says something to me, I have trouble understanding if they don't say it somewhat clear. I like to say "don't play poker with me", because it feels distancing and this makes it somehow rude for me.
But if you learned to approach in a different way, let's say the english polite way, you're able to understand better. I totally see your way to do it... cognitive. But in an actual situation, I need to be sure. Maybe this matches why germans don't make compliments. (I do, but I want it to be "strong", not a common compliment everyone makes. This is more important if someone is insecure about that topic, so to help getting more confident about that. But I digress.)
The important point for me is "openness". But somehow this english translation sounds wrong to me. I refer to the "Four-sides model" of Schulz von Thun. He calls it "self-revelation". This kind of communication has some kind truthfulness you instantly feel. I made my best experiences with that ... and it is totally direct. I don't think directness is opposed to politeness. It depends how you cultural hear things. This may be difficult for me to comprehent the english politeness as you - maybe - have the same with the german directness. But this may be too subjective now.
"Direkt und ehrlich durch Vertrautheit." This won't work on a superficial relationship.
@@LaureninGermany Thanks for your response, btw. I means a lot to me. (Not exaggerated.)
I believe you, after what you wrote, thank you!
😂😂"ja" "gut" "muß ja" Schweigen. - auf den Punkt gebracht 😂!
Kannst Du es mirerklären, liebe Susanna? Ich weiß nicht mehr um was es geht!
Halloo!
Na?
Und?
Jo. Und selbst?
Muss.
Na denn…
lol it´s the "und?" that always shocked me!
@@LaureninGermany Und is an invitation for you to tell whatever you like to share. Und, wie geht‘s? Und was hast du so getrieben seit letztem Mal? Und, was macht der Rücken? Und, gibt es was Neues bei euch? …
This is a complete and common friendly conversation in northern Germany that can be extended if wanted. 😃🌸
@@LaureninGermany "Und" is : what's up? ( How are things going? ) Man sagt auch: was geht ab?
@@winterlinde5395 good explanation..one doesn't wanna be indecent asking too detailed questions, on the other hand showing some interest, being curious
you can easily befriend Germans. Just grow up with us visiting the same high school.
That´s where I went wrong!
Is that supposed to be a joke at the expense of Germans?
Meine beiden Lieblingsinsulaner❤😂
Ein richtiges Schnugglefest!
@@LaureninGermany Was ist ein - Schnugglefest? Sags mir du - Schnugelchen.. XD Geht's dir wieder gut? Liebe Grüße aus der Schloßstadt
@@tasminoben686 Hallo Ben. Sie denglischt da ein wenig. Aber mit "Schnuggelchen" bist du da schon richtig.
😂😂😂 I need to start my comment when you said you were considered as unseriös. I had this for a long time too. Or they thought I was gay, cause I was not serious enough for a German man. 😂😂😂 (I and my parents were born in Germany but the Generations before in Belgium and Polish so that part is obviously strong still...) Since my childhood 40 years ago I again and again think about, why the Germans are so WEIRDLY serious (= often when it's not necessary and they making their OWN life harder in this moments) ... and it varies much between regions and social classes, and the only reason what always makes sense to me, why they are how they are is in their school education in their childhood. After world war until at least the end of the 80ies or up to now, the whole educational style (pedagogy) in German schools is: results, achievement, accomplishment, hard work and competition AGAINST the others count before everything else. Many parents found this good and supported this style so that the kids didn't get other ways of looking at things and it sank deep into them and got THE BASE of every life style later.
The Katholische AND Evangelische Kirche enforced this style a lot, e.g. beat up the children if they didn't follow the rules.
In UK a bad children education also existed, but so stupidly that the kids averted from this style, but because in Germany it all was for the purpose to achieve efficiently something, ...so indeed something good came out at the end... the German kids didn't averted from this like the British and founded a rock band e.g. but the Germans founded seriously a serious company instead and worked hard for the rest of their life. But UK is having the better music. Amen 😂
lol Mattes! You are so right! British rock rules!!! (I´m a rock fan at heart, so I have to extend my respects to the Scorpions and the King, Bon Scott)
only in Germany one can be perceived as too friendly :)
So now I get what my ex-girlfriend meant when she said there was something a bit English about me: I joke all the time and most Germans (Including me) Consider me a silly arse. 😁
In the end, we are all individuals. Sorry she is your ex! Joking around is great, in my book.
@@LaureninGermany Ah well, it's been a long time since and it was nothing too serious to begin with. We remained close friends. She´s married now.
To a Briton… 🥳 🤗
@@zweispurmopped lol! And now you demonstrated it! Lol!
Whenever I see this guy I'm questioning myself "Did Prince Harry move to Germany and started a YT channel here?"
He did make me curtsy, now you come to mention it.
A distant cousin shunned from the British royal family…that’s why I moved to Germany to get back to my family’s roots😂
I knew it, as soon as you made me call you Ihre Hochheit!
@@LaureninGermany Hoheit. Hochheit sagen wir seit dem 18. Jahrhundert nicht mehr :)
British mentality: We are all in this shitty world together so lets be pleasant and try to make the best of it by making the day as friendly as possible...The Germans don't care and revel in their misery making the day much worse LOL
That would explain a lot of how I feel/felt. And of course, particularly at first, you take it personally, which makes it feel a lot worse.
Germans: We are all in this hard situation together, so lets not waste our time mind-reading what other person thinks and how they meant it and be direct 😊
In my opinion, as a German, overfriendly and fake friendly is not the same. The first one just means you are too friendly , the second means, you prentend to be friendly. Many Germans don't like when, e.g. in a supermarket the cashier force himself to a smile, and exactly in the same moment when you got out of his sight he goes back to his grim face And you can see that behaviour. For me, overfriendly is less worse, when it comes naturally. Having said this, at some places you can experience both. And I guess, that is what Germans really don't like :D
Yes, I think you are right! But I would still rather a professional smile that someone not making an effort to be pleasant at the checkout. But then again, pleasant is different for us all, too!
@@LaureninGermany Don't get me wrong. Of course he or she should not take their bad mode out on the clients. But just be "regular friendly".
I like it when the cashier behaves respectfully and prefer if she/he is not forcing herself/himself to smile when feeling really tired or having a bad day. (For me is just one micro interaction, for them it is hours of acting "happy" to additionally hard job).
If the job provider is able to create a psychologically safe environment for their employees and they are happy in their jobs, this will be projected into their behaviour (sincere smiles) more naturally. And I consider it to be fair.
By respectful behaviour I mean: working at a normal speed (not too fast, not too slow), using polite words, and greetings.
In case a person is not able to behave respectfully to others because of the emotional disregulation, it should not have contact with customers.
I am a Northenern German, I live 30+ years in Hesse but still can't really like the Hessian style of comunication. Always lecturing everybody still tortured my nerves. :-) : Ich hätte gern ein Roggenbrot. - Haben wir nicht! - Dann möchte ich das links oben.- Das ist aber kein Roggenbrot!- Ähm..... Darf ich es trotzdem kaufen? Andere Nordlichter berichten mir ähnliches beim Fleischer. Oder im Fischladen... . Schrecklich!:-) Ich kann mich nicht daran gewöhnen. :-)
Ach ja,... Ich fragte noch. - Was ist das für ein Brot? - Roggenmischbrot!😉
@@AltIng9154 oh dear! I know I should sympathise, but you have made me chuckle!
Ich habe mir jetzt tatsaechlich einmal ein Video zu freundlichen Begruessungen zwischen Deutschen angesehen.
Und ich muss sagen, dass irgendwie beinahe jeder Deutsche in diesem Video, unter einer freundlichen Begruessung, ein bisschen _etwas anderes_ zu verstehen scheint...
Aber auch das jeweilige Gechlecht scheint einen starken Einfluss darauf zu haben, was als freundliche Begruessung angesehen wird. Frauen und hier ganz besonders Freundinnen, umarmen sich bei der Begruessung in Deutschland gerne gegenseitig, teilweise auch mit Kuesschen auf die Wange.
_Eventuell_ ist die Herzlichkeit der Begruessung in Deutschland dann aber sogar auch noch _regional verschieden_ ....
Maenner verhalten sich in Deutschland bei der Begruessung scheinbar tendenziell eher distanzierter und reservierter. Vor allem gegenueber Personen, denen Mann sich nicht nahesteht. Was ein Deutscher also fuer eine freundliche Begruessung _haelt_ , ist scheinbar wirklich nicht so ganz einfach und eindeutig zu beantworten!
Begruessungen zwischen Fremden und ganz besonders, wenn mindestens eine der Personen maennlich ist, scheinen aber generell eher distanzierter zu sein. In Deutschland haelt man bei der Begruessung offenbar lieber ersteinmal einen gewissen _respektvollen Abstand_ ein und ist dafuer tatsaechlich _weniger_ herzlich und ueberschwenglich. Wobei die Maenner / Jungen in dem Video das dann _trotzdem_ fuer eine freundliche Begruessung zu halten schienen... Anders _kann_ das Ganze aussehen, wenn sich die sich begruessenden Personen nahe stehen.. Dann kann die Begruessung auch deutlich herzlicher ausfallen...
sehr gut erkannt, so ist es!
Dies ist wirklich eine sehr gute Erklärung
Wir haben es schon übertrieben - aber manchmal, so kommt es uns rüber. Ich bin immer überrascht gewesen, als Männer sich umarmten, und Eltern und ihre erwachsenen Kinder sich die Hand gaben.
You‘re really nice, the two of you. But, language aside, some problems you describe are shared by many Germans, and much just depends on whom exactly you meet.
Thanks, Claus. You’re the first person to say that. I find it very reassuring.
@@LaureninGermany And just in case you happen to be in Düsseldorf and there‘s a little time left, and you need a bit of a tour guide to show you around, I‘d be happy to do that.
It was obvious to me you're Welsh. Where is he ftom though? He doesn't sound British to me.
Benikon is from the Midlands. He’s actually got a German accent- I do, too, now, more or less 🤦🏻♀️ I find it so nice that people still can hear I am Welsh ❤️
I speak German fluently and am also a musician. My only friends in Germany are also musicians. If it wasn't for music I would have no friends here even after 16 years . Germans are just not friendly in comparison to Americans or British. They are also very cold and unfriendly at times.
Thanks for sharing this, Lynn. I often think it must be just me, so I really appreciate it. I just had a really quick listen so I haven’t yet listened to enough to know what you’re expressing, but you‘ve got a beautiful voice, like a female David Bowie in what I heard so far.
@@LaureninGermany Thank you so much!:) and no it is definitely NOT just you!!!!LOL
Nun schreibe ich was in deutsch, da ich nicht weiss ob es ein passenden Begriff in UK Englisch gibt. Zuerst es macht viel Spaß euch zuzuhören. Im deutschen gibt es den Begriff des Fettnäpfchen. Er hat sie gut getroffen wenn es um UK Mädchen geht.
Den britischen Humor mag.
Denglisch kommt oft vor und besonders im Marketing treibt es besonder Blütten. Auf einer Messe lass ich im Oktober:" lowering the Carbon Food print" es gab noch mehr verbogene Sätze
Aaahhh! Ich musste das Wort Fettnäpfchen googlen- phew, ich dachte, Du meinst, britische Mädels wären dick! GsD frag ich immer bevor ich das schlimmste glaube 😂 Also, auf Englisch würde es heißen: he put his foot in it! 😂 Es war soooo lustig!
@@LaureninGermany lol Nein das ist definitiv nicht gemeint, das die UK Mädels dick sind. In ein Fettnäpfchen tretten meint so etwas wie einen peinlichen Fehler zu machen ohne es zu wollen. Mach mal stehen die Fettnäpfen gut aufgereiht im Wege und es wird immer peinlicher.
Denglisch er stand mit beiden Füssen im Fettnäpfchen.. irgendwie ist beides verwand
lol! Ich hätte normalerweise ihm auch nicht gequält... aber es war einfach zu gut!
@@LaureninGermany first, nice video without a doubt!
But now the Klugscheißer in me got triggered :D
Do you know this funny german sentence: Der Dativ ist dem Genitiv sein Tod! (?)
Anyway, dont take it the wrong way you are doing fine.
@@LaureninGermany er hat die Fettnäpfchen so schön getroffen
Reserviertheit bedeutet nicht unfreundlich zu sein.
Ja, klar- aber wenn kein Lächeln dabei ist, kommuniziert das für Briten Unfreundlichkeit. Inzwischen verstehe ich das! Hier bedeutet manchmal ein Lächeln was ganz anders. Es ist wirklich komplizierter als man je denken würde, und deswegen frage ich immer nach, oder zumindest ich versuche nicht zu schnell zu entscheiden, wie jemand drauf ist.
@@LaureninGermany lol. Sind Sie nur freundlich oder flirten Sie mit mit. Stell ich mir lustig vor...😄
@@markusmartin5825 du hast es genau richtig kapiert! Genau das ist mir soooo oft passiert! Ich erlautere das in meinem Video mit Ashton, über moving to Germany! Es war manchmal recht scary! 🤦🏻♀️
Germany is a mental Dystopia...nothing else :-(( Like the former DDR......
Ah, Jeremy, have a look at one of my other videos. I know what it’s like when you need a bit of escapism 🤗 Mondays are heavy.
loneliness? come to denmark 🇩🇰 - they are experts how to isolate one another 😂
Oh no, really?! I will be visiting Denmark, soon. Shall I get my best smiles out, or my thickest skin? Some of my favourite actors are Danish.
@@LaureninGermany I'm originally from Bosnia, and I live in DK since 90s. After watching some of your videos I recognize some similarities you experience there in Germany, like one I have with Danes. It is widely known (there were even books about the topic) when it comes to foreigners settling here in Denmark. The latest newspaper articles even write detailed stories about how foreigners, eg. international students, etc. feel isolated and so on, resulting in moving somewhere else after spending a few years here. So as a tourist ofc you would not experience this, so I hope you would enjoy staying here, but do bear in mind it is more expensive compared to Germany. 😎
@@LaureninGermanySince Im unable to post urls here on YT, pls do google "expat insider 2022 survey" and there you would find most of Scandinavian countries, including Germany as well, in not so popular positions at their rank list. I guess I don't need to quote famous words from Hamlet hereinafter ... 🤓
Es macht mich richtig traurig zu hören, wie es euch am Anfang in D gegangen ist! Das 'Umschalten' auf Englisch ist meiner Meinung nach weniger der Wunsch, sein Englisch anzuwenden, sondern eher entweder, um zu zeigen,. wie toll das eigene Englisch ist oder die Unterhaltung effektiver und schneller zu machen. Ich war mal eine Zeit auf 'HiNative'', um Leuten beim Deutschlernen zu helfen: Selbst wenn ein höheres Level angegeben wurde, gaben die meisten Deutschen ihre Antworten auf Englisch, obwohl sogar explizit empfohlen wurde, in der Lernsprache zu antworten. Es hat wohl auch mit fehlender Selbstreflexion zu tun, zu der viele leider nicht fähig sind. Wenn ich einen Kanal wie eure in GB hätte, würde ich ja auch keine deutschen Kommentare haben wollen, durch die ich nichts lernen kann...
Hallo N K, danke für Deine liebe Worte. Ich verstehe es auch nicht, wie man immer wieder es ok findet, mich zum Englisch-Üben ausnützt. Vor kurzem hat eine Frau auf einer Messe, die mich jahrelang kaum wahrnehmen wollte, plötzlich bemerkt ich bin Englisch-sprachende, und dann mit mir reden wollte, und mir auch noch den Grund mitteilte, dass sie ihr Englisch üben wollte.
Aber hier kannst Du gerne auf Englisch schreiben. Der Kanal ist auf Englisch, ich habe nie damit gerechnet, dass Deutsche sich hierherfinden, was eine wunderschöne und sehr willkommene Überraschung war und ist!
Just get to the point, will you!
Now, I am pretty sure you are joking….
Typical british understatement. 4000.
Ah- what‘s that now, Peter?
@@LaureninGermany You really think this will only get 4000 views?
@@peter_meyer oohhh! Thanks for the vote of confidence ❤️
ugh, german stereotyping british women? Not as nice as the irish ones (pale tainted,curly redhead).
Don't want to offend you, you count as "exceptions prove the rule"[wohoho, I used a german saying in english]
I think you‘re paying me a compliment… I‘ve decided to take it as such!
@@LaureninGermany you nailed it. Have a nice sunday.
@@Sibian_Wolf lol you too, thanks!
When I was in contact to British people their friendlyness never felt fake. It made me feel comfortable and I liked it . I do not know how it would feel like being exposed to this for longer term.😉
Maybe it’s time to find out😉
You´d love it. It´s genuine, usually, and you´re so nice, it couldn´t go wrong.
You make a point with that difference in "tact". I was working 2 month in Hull as a consultant in a company and - despite my bad english - was realizing at the meetings how much they were talking and less they were saying. At the end of the meeting I wanted to assure that I understood decisions and outcome and was giving a summarazing in two or three sentences. And that was it.... They also wanted me to push people who are in delay to their own commitments but this was to hard for me so I was always escalating it to my manager, and asked him what to do next. He once responded that we have to take care what we say. I just was feeling like at a conference with diplomats at that company. I feel very comfortable with the english style of tactfullness and had from beginning on this sensibility to adopt - within the boarders of my english skills - but I also see clearly the other side (at least for working culture): Issues, no, PROBLEMS ( ;-) ) will not be pointed out clearly and adressed. A lot of time is getting wasted with unnecessary meetings. Employes have no clear idea what the supervisor is excpecting from them and so on....
Oh it´s quite funny how you put it! I hope you had a good time there?