NEVER Hire a Stupid Hitman | Tales From the Bottle

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  • Опубликовано: 14 янв 2025

Комментарии • 1,7 тыс.

  • @Qxir
    @Qxir  Год назад +232

    Join membership: ruclips.net/channel/UCGHDQtN_vzFYJaq_Fx1eikgjoin
    Second Channel: ruclips.net/channel/UCt93hxFmjppL5nLRAX94UrA
    Merch: qxir.creator-spring.com/
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    Twitter: twitter.com/QxirYT
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    Twitch: www.twitch.tv/qxiryt/
    Subreddit: www.reddit.com/r/Qxir/

    • @lookstothetroon
      @lookstothetroon Год назад

      pp extendus

    • @holdmybeer
      @holdmybeer Год назад +1

      almost 1 million subs!

    • @babycarrotz32
      @babycarrotz32 Год назад

      @@lookstothetroon Weird spell or something, I don't know I don't play DND.

    • @LEARSIKCIGAM
      @LEARSIKCIGAM Год назад

      don’t skimp on shoes, haircuts, and hitman .

    • @cb7251
      @cb7251 Год назад +2

      @Qxir if you don’t mind me asking what happened to the potential 1 million dollar investment?

  • @erwintatp
    @erwintatp Год назад +3828

    Remember this all started because Wei launched two lausuits against Tan? Well, Wei actually lost both cases in 2018, meaning Tan would not need to pay the hitmen or get in prison if he simply waited for the court results.
    Also, in both lawsuits Wei wasn’t even sueing Tan - he was sueing a corporation he had disagreements with, where Tan was a board member. Wei had never even heard of Tan before the police investigation.

    • @LTPottenger
      @LTPottenger Год назад +209

      He would have saved millions in lawyer fees I bet.

    • @Scooterbeerrun
      @Scooterbeerrun Год назад +380

      the corporation probably paid Tan to take care of the problem but unlike his underlings he knew to keep quiet

    • @johnladuke6475
      @johnladuke6475 Год назад +105

      @@Scooterbeerrun Maybe he knew that his bosses' hitmen wouldn't delegate... or hesitate.

    • @gmale605
      @gmale605 Год назад +7

      Heysus

    • @fleivor5359
      @fleivor5359 Год назад +55

      Lmao that's so funny, nobody won nothing at the end and everyone was displeased 😂

  • @camhedmr_5593
    @camhedmr_5593 Год назад +273

    1:00 as a trivia, That "Mou" is not Wei's name. Mou, or 某, literally means "somebody", was used as an alias by the Chinese officially when the identity of someone is being kept secret, such as a victim or witness or even a suspect/criminal.

    • @heavy0119
      @heavy0119 Год назад +29

      Is it a bit like how in the us, anonymous people are referred to as “Jane Doe” and “John Doe”?

    • @2tothe253
      @2tothe253 8 месяцев назад +35

      ​@@heavy0119Yes it is similar, but more like "Mx Wei" giving only the surname, with neither the sex or given name of that person. However, in this case we actually know the given name of Wei is actually Jie from the other court cases.

  • @charlessaint7926
    @charlessaint7926 Год назад +1198

    '5 Idiot Hitmen' sounds like a excellent movie parody.

    • @sonic23233
      @sonic23233 Год назад +6

      Of what?

    • @SydneyCarton2085
      @SydneyCarton2085 Год назад +26

      The Usual Suspects

    • @JosieJOK
      @JosieJOK Год назад +18

      Or a great idea for an off-Broadway drama!

    • @brandondotson8035
      @brandondotson8035 Год назад +28

      "The 5th hitman" and it should be a comedy.

    • @flavoursofsound
      @flavoursofsound Год назад +29

      Diana Burnwood: Here are your targets. Good luck, 47.
      47: I’m not overly eager to do this myself. Agent 69, here are your targets.
      69: I’m not overly eager to do this myself…

  • @FaffyWaffles
    @FaffyWaffles Год назад +383

    So Palpatine needs Padmé dead...
    ...but he doesn't wanna do it himself.
    So he asks Count Dooku...
    ...to go kill Padmé.
    But Count Dooku doesn't wanna do it himself.
    So Count Dooku asks Jango Fett...
    ...to go kill Padmé.
    But Jango Fett doesn't wanna do it himself.
    So he asks his shapeshifter friend...
    ...to go kill Padmé.
    But the shapeshifter...
    ...sends a robot...
    ...to go kill Padmé!
    And if you really wanna be an asshole and get even more granular...
    ...the droid says: "I'll send these little bugs TO GO KILL PADMÉ!"

    • @Anonymous-q1h2g
      @Anonymous-q1h2g 12 дней назад +6

      the fact this is true is even funnier 😂😂😂😂

  • @SlurMaster9000
    @SlurMaster9000 Год назад +4809

    To be fair, this is basically how construction projects in California work despite having far less at stake.

    • @Jacob-Sophia
      @Jacob-Sophia Год назад +348

      Actually the hitmen probably would have a lower body count even with a 100% success rate than US budget construction companies

    • @foximacentauri7891
      @foximacentauri7891 Год назад +200

      Not just California, the entire US contractor system. I image like 25% of all Americans work jobs that aren’t really needed.

    • @archygrey9093
      @archygrey9093 Год назад +95

      Its actually how construction projects are done in China too, which is why they've got all those bridges and apartment blocks falling down after just a few years despite having a rather large funding initially

    • @Joko_P
      @Joko_P Год назад +30

      Safe to say I think this applies to almost every country.

    • @PaulRudd1941
      @PaulRudd1941 Год назад +43

      I'm an HVAC installer and we get sub contracted out to virtually every job. I've only worked with 1 general contractor that had a plumbing, electrical, and concrete wing. And even that is very rare.
      You have to think about how many moving parts there are in an apartment; fire protection systems, mechanical fire dampers, elevators, security systems, and on and on.
      That's why I make some pretty medium bucks compared to a barista.

  • @RandomStranger10
    @RandomStranger10 Год назад +659

    "For whatever reason, he was not overly eager to do the job himself" is the best part the more you said it😂😂😂 thanks for the laughs

    • @AtillaTheFun1337
      @AtillaTheFun1337 11 месяцев назад +30

      Same energy as “This enraged his father who punished him severely”

    • @WeedCop
      @WeedCop 3 месяца назад

      If you like this watch the one about the cruise ship that sank the Venezuelan navy ship. The repeated line of "Much to the annoyance of the passengers" gets better every time

  • @CoachJohnMcGuirk
    @CoachJohnMcGuirk Год назад +7098

    Imagine if he had a massive team working on these videos and just didn't want to give them credit lol

    • @Qxir
      @Qxir  Год назад +4473

      Fuck credit, it's money I don't want to give them 😂

    • @thryi
      @thryi Год назад +471

      ​@@Qxirat least your honest about it 🤣

    • @CST1992
      @CST1992 Год назад +275

      @@Qxir You should have hired someone to not give them the money

    • @clray123
      @clray123 Год назад +76

      Imagine if Qxir was hired by someone who was hired by someone who was hired by someone who was hired by someone who was hired by someone.

    • @dantemoose420
      @dantemoose420 Год назад +18

      ​@@Qxir lmao thats cutthroat af my dude but I respect the hell out of it

  • @RWBYSanctum
    @RWBYSanctum Год назад +307

    This gives me big Palpatine energy vibes man. Sending a man to send a man to send a shapeshifter to send a robot to send bugs to try to kill someone only for it to fail

    • @tempota7792
      @tempota7792 7 месяцев назад +41

      Lmao, I hadn't connected the dots before now, but that is a ridiculous chain. Palps is nothing if not a huge fan of convoluted ass plans.

    • @jacobp8294
      @jacobp8294 Месяц назад +2

      The more time you spend thinking about the prequels plot you start to see how dumb it all is

    • @schwarzerritter5724
      @schwarzerritter5724 25 дней назад +2

      The plan was not even to kill Padme; that was just a bonus. The actual plan was leave a trail that leads the Jedi to the clone army.

  • @Vernafveik
    @Vernafveik Год назад +1357

    This whole ordeal feels like a Monty Python bit and I love it

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +11

      True enough... hit sure does...

    • @stevenlubick2689
      @stevenlubick2689 Год назад +5

      Maybe they did watch any Monty Python first!!🙃🙃

    • @ruth80809
      @ruth80809 Год назад +3

      This does give off Monty Python vibes! 😂😂

    • @Aotearoa_Kiwi
      @Aotearoa_Kiwi Год назад +3

      I love Monty Python _skits_

    • @nicholasfarrell5981
      @nicholasfarrell5981 Год назад +2

      Drop the bazooka, rabbi!

  • @hilmanscooter2136
    @hilmanscooter2136 Год назад +560

    These guys explain how "outsourcing" works better than my teacher at school

  • @babycarrotz32
    @babycarrotz32 Год назад +4627

    Alternate title: Qxir tries to pronounce Chinese names for six minutes.

    • @Qxir
      @Qxir  Год назад +1622

      Six minutes? You should see the recording before I edited it

    • @hismajesty6272
      @hismajesty6272 Год назад +101

      @Qxir
      A blooper reel would be epic

    • @averygoodandoriginalname9038
      @averygoodandoriginalname9038 Год назад +50

      ​@@Qxir make a blooper video

    • @1tgb4yb25ub5ub
      @1tgb4yb25ub5ub Год назад +30

      @@Qxir bloopers please

    • @Gradgar
      @Gradgar Год назад +26

      Patreon release the blooper reel. Everyone wants it and you want Patreon supporters. BAM.

  • @genevie1998
    @genevie1998 Год назад +118

    I like to imagine the court found this case to be so stupid they decided to give them essentially a free pass

  • @Shiestey
    @Shiestey Год назад +631

    I like to imagine in an alternate timeline agent 47 handing off his hit to agent 48, and then 48 to 49 and so on. Eventually it gets down to agent 292 who isn’t even getting paid

    • @Jack-he8jv
      @Jack-he8jv Год назад +114

      unpaid intern lol

    • @johnladuke6475
      @johnladuke6475 Год назад +50

      It's a foot in the door of the murder delegation industry, now he just has to find someone he can afford to pay out of pocket on the salary from his part-time minimum-wage job.

    • @fleivor5359
      @fleivor5359 Год назад +19

      "who isnt even getting paid" lmao

    • @samgyeopsal569
      @samgyeopsal569 Год назад +13

      “Isn’t even getting paid”
      Gumshoe: 👀

    • @apocalyptosoldier5527
      @apocalyptosoldier5527 Год назад +29

      He's getting paid in ✨exposure✨

  • @TheodoreRizzo
    @TheodoreRizzo Год назад +132

    Is even funnier that the alleged target man agree to play along and pose for dead body pictures 😂 as if the hit was successful carried out 😂😂😂

    • @jlfan568
      @jlfan568 8 месяцев назад +23

      the alleged target man did hid himself for a while so that every hitman received the payment, but he felt bad that he only worth 100,000 rmb so he reported to the police.

  • @gk4204
    @gk4204 Год назад +1091

    I love the doodle vids. They have so much more character. Thank you for all the effort you put in.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +1

      Athefumen

    • @darrellcook8253
      @darrellcook8253 Год назад +13

      That is what makes it so special, the expressive art. Qxir has mastered that and we get his excellent voice and storytelling. Nothing like it elsewhere. Imagine if Ozzyman and Qxir got together to do a video! Nah.

    • @zobr0s77
      @zobr0s77 Год назад

      Give this guy a nebula original series plsssss

    • @luichinplaystation610
      @luichinplaystation610 Год назад

      Made with chatgpt

    • @luichinplaystation610
      @luichinplaystation610 Год назад

      @@zobr0s77Nooo we will have a paywall

  • @gregiep
    @gregiep Год назад +42

    The cadence, pacing, narrative style, and clever repetition in this video absolutely made the story!!

  • @SamBrickell
    @SamBrickell Год назад +1802

    Everyone except for the last guy got off very light. Realize that the client and the four first hitmen all did everything that they thought was necessary to cause the murder, so they all basically attempted murder and should have been held accountable to that. The last guy is the sole person who didn't actually attempt to murder anyone.

    • @kotzpenner
      @kotzpenner Год назад +128

      True, but he still took the money, maybe that's why he was sentenced.

    • @RRRRRRRRRRR956
      @RRRRRRRRRRR956 Год назад +395

      The other guys still got enough money to bribe the officials, the last guy don't

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +60

      ​@@RRRRRRRRRRR956 that was actually funny

    • @chrisperrien7055
      @chrisperrien7055 Год назад +22

      The little guy always gets it the worst.

    • @paulchaperon2207
      @paulchaperon2207 Год назад +16

      Did I misunderstood the video? He got the lightest sentence (2 years)

  • @wackofish7435
    @wackofish7435 Год назад +11

    Dude I love the skit in the beginning with the “was not overly eager to do this himself”

  • @P0nyB3h0ldr
    @P0nyB3h0ldr Год назад +1583

    I didn't know the assassination of Padme was based on a true story

    • @PancakeBoi
      @PancakeBoi Год назад +230

      technically, this story was based on the assassination of Padme, since this took place after the movie released

    • @Pixeleyes
      @Pixeleyes Год назад +64

      @@PancakeBoi I'm not confident that's how causality works.

    • @Enkye_CA
      @Enkye_CA Год назад +14

      @@Pixeleyes I think he meant 'would have been based on' rather than was.

    • @tianlanderas
      @tianlanderas Год назад +16

      @@Pixeleyes r/woooosh

    • @callumprice1710
      @callumprice1710 Год назад +12

      ​@@Pixeleyes no, no, thats how it works

  • @jlfan568
    @jlfan568 8 месяцев назад +13

    the target man did hid himself for a while so that every hitman received the payment, but he felt insulted that he only worth 100,000 rmb so he reported to the police

  • @armaslohemadu
    @armaslohemadu Год назад +170

    When you're a procrastinator and somehow also a hitman

    • @_Juke_
      @_Juke_ Год назад +17

      Well these weren't hitmen just consultants in reality :D

  • @woogiewoogie0012
    @woogiewoogie0012 Год назад +28

    Absolutely love your Tales from the Bottle. The art and commentary is perfect 👌🏼

  • @skullkap6746
    @skullkap6746 Год назад +498

    I read the title, and thought that the hitman was a guy who would get caught so many times that every time he was put on trial he looked drastically different. Somehow the truth was even funnier

    • @Pystro
      @Pystro Год назад +30

      When I read the title and saw the thumbnail, I assumed that someone hired a hitman that was too stupid to do the job, so the guy had to hire another hitman, who was also too stupid to do the job, ... and so on.

    • @FainthedCherry
      @FainthedCherry Год назад +2

      I thought the hitman in the thumbs was just wearing different costumes each time he got caught, lol.

    • @AudieHolland
      @AudieHolland Год назад

      I was a bit disappointed at first.
      In my imagination, the whole thing ended in an Assasins' Battle Royale.

  • @Zeekiel
    @Zeekiel Год назад +8

    I really appreciate the style of your videos. It's quite unique, I believe. The way you draw, the way you put the story together, your editing, everything---it's unique, Qxir, and I love it.

  • @Phoebe457
    @Phoebe457 Год назад +92

    So THAT’S why he’s called Agent *47*

  • @gothicbbmelvin
    @gothicbbmelvin Год назад +26

    Your characterization of the individuals in your drawings is spot on

    • @jacobp8294
      @jacobp8294 Месяц назад

      It's a pretty simple and standardized style but the imagery is surprisingly accurate when you compare them to the real images. If it wasn't for RUclips he could have a lucrative career as a boardwalk caracature artist.

  • @TXiCN
    @TXiCN Год назад +1587

    This is exactly how business operates in China. People take their cut to be the middleman and the budget get smaller and smaller. "I've got an uncle who can do it cheap" or "I can pay a guy to be the hitman for less" actually how things are done.

    • @rogerphone481
      @rogerphone481 Год назад +203

      @Cervezadog 1969 quality control doesn't exist in china

    • @smasherthe7
      @smasherthe7 Год назад +181

      ​@@rogerphone481In China, quality controls you!

    • @stellviahohenheim
      @stellviahohenheim Год назад

      China somehow managed to run a whole nation like a pyramid scheme

    • @-FFFridge
      @-FFFridge Год назад +259

      ​@Cervezadog 1969 But what if the quality control guy has an uncle that can do quality control for cheap?

    • @lcmiracle
      @lcmiracle Год назад +71

      So, yall just gonna ignore all the outsourcing everywhere in the US?

  • @Akapulko
    @Akapulko Год назад +81

    these guys would be great youtubers, they are literally the definition of "double it and give it to the next person"

    • @hephsmith3738
      @hephsmith3738 Год назад +18

      How about "half it, and give it to the next person"?

    • @Notsomebody913
      @Notsomebody913 Год назад +9

      Keep 1/11 of your money and give it to the next person

    • @andrewpinedo1883
      @andrewpinedo1883 11 месяцев назад

      ⁠@@hephsmith3738Double the risk and give it to the next person

    • @UtraxTV
      @UtraxTV 2 месяца назад

      more like divide it and give it to next person

  • @thevoidlookspretty7079
    @thevoidlookspretty7079 Год назад +324

    You know, I thought this plot was stupid in Star Wars, when Palpatine hired Count Douku who hired Jango Fett who hired Zamm Weasel who sent a droid who sent some bugs to kill Padme.
    I thought that was only stupid enough to be in Star Wars.

    • @theenchilada5290
      @theenchilada5290 Год назад +46

      Degrees of separation isn't dumb as long as it gets executed, if the bugs did their job and the droid vanished they would of probably would never found out who killed Padme.

    • @jillyapple1
      @jillyapple1 Год назад +35

      I've only seen the prequels once, in theaters, so I could be misremembering. But I thought the whole point of the assassination plot was (a) it would fail, but make it seem like Padme was in danger, so Palpatine could lever that fear to manipulate Anakin to the Dark Side, and (b) the Jedi would chase Fett to Kamino, discover the clone/slave army, and kick off a sham war that would stain the Jedi's hands (as they'd be slavers), cause many of them to Fall, diminish their numbers, paint them as warmongers, and ultimately lead to their genocide and the birth of the Empire.

    • @lukaszspychaj9210
      @lukaszspychaj9210 Год назад +11

      ​@@jillyapple1It does, these people just watched CVH once (who has no idea what he is talking about) and parrot his points ad infinitum

    • @cyanidenightshade
      @cyanidenightshade Год назад +3

      I rewatched that video recently and immediately thought of this one when Marcus was going on that tangent

    • @hafirenggayuda
      @hafirenggayuda Год назад

      Tbf, that is how contract killer for political work operate, they use mutiple misdirection to hide the original contractor. This case however just incompetence all around.

  • @ianbrennan9635
    @ianbrennan9635 Год назад +3

    I think even Monty Python would be shaking their heads at these fools.

  • @deandupont5503
    @deandupont5503 Год назад +620

    If John Woo and Chow Yun Fat ever decided to take a break from bullet operas and make a screwball comedy, this would be the plot outline.

    • @iamhungey12345
      @iamhungey12345 Год назад +16

      "Once a Thief" comes to mind.

    • @piggypoo
      @piggypoo Год назад +25

      This seems more like a Stephen Chow/Wong Jing movie

    • @chaosmorris5865
      @chaosmorris5865 Год назад +11

      Could also make a great Jackie Chan movie with some edits

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +10

      I'm sure it would be a big "HIT"

    • @qwopiretyu
      @qwopiretyu Год назад +5

      ​@@piggypoo agreed Stephen Chow written all over it

  • @EddieTristes
    @EddieTristes Год назад +30

    Hitman-ception... 🤔

  • @waterfox2492
    @waterfox2492 Год назад +27

    "For whatever reason [...] was not overly eager to do it himseld"
    This sentence gradually become comical.

  • @ilovenightcrawler
    @ilovenightcrawler Год назад +8

    I remember this story! You somehow made this hilarious nonsense even funnier 😂 I love your videos so much.

  • @skunkrat01
    @skunkrat01 Год назад +101

    😂Never get tired of hearing this story, but as usual, you tell it better

  • @clearcontroller
    @clearcontroller Год назад +5

    Your delivery was perfect 😂
    I had to watch the whole line up like 3 times due to being hilarious

  • @thryi
    @thryi Год назад +64

    That's one hell of a convoluted way to settle a dispute 🤣

    • @Jack-he8jv
      @Jack-he8jv Год назад

      he should have called hillary suicide hotline.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +7

      Yes hit is...

  • @luciphonicverdigris3149
    @luciphonicverdigris3149 Год назад +4

    Beautiful story telling as always my man! Truly excellent! Thanks for all your efforts!!

  • @CaptainApathetic
    @CaptainApathetic Год назад +18

    4:57
    One reason that number is so high is that most crimes in the US are prosecuted by the state the crime happened in and the feds only have jurisdiction in certain circumstances (and sometimes both have jurisdiction bc they did one thing that is 2 different crimes) meaning they are a lot pickier about cases they go after.

  • @KSE828
    @KSE828 Год назад +2

    These once a week uploads are killing me. I’m jonesing by the next day.
    Keep up the great work!

  • @Aidennification
    @Aidennification Год назад +37

    Mad respect for the first 15 seconds of the video. I can't imagine the workload that goes into just one of these.

  • @hoobietoobie
    @hoobietoobie Год назад +3

    The animation is superb on this one! You out did yourself

  • @adammcveigh
    @adammcveigh Год назад +32

    I heard that this happened in Russia once. Except the first hitman was massive, the second a little smaller, the third a little smaller than the second.. and so on...

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +8

      So when sentencing they just "stacked" them...

  • @sitdowntwice
    @sitdowntwice Год назад +4

    Man I love your work. You are my favourite content creator. The hard work and effort that you put in really shows man. You are an absolute legend

  • @Loren_Arg_6816
    @Loren_Arg_6816 Год назад +82

    I love this story, it feels like a fractal of sub-hiring.

  • @KSE828
    @KSE828 Год назад +2

    I love this story. I’ve rewatched this video like 5 times.

  • @maxwellweiss9849
    @maxwellweiss9849 Год назад +21

    This reminds me of that one Onion News Network segment where everyone just outsources all their work to the poorest man alive

    • @tempota7792
      @tempota7792 7 месяцев назад

      That's the last 3 humans on Earth: the poorest man, and the last Jew and Palestinian.

  • @christineharris2302
    @christineharris2302 Год назад

    I had just recently found your channel. I find your sense of humor overly sarcastic.
    I love it!

  • @saoghail9769
    @saoghail9769 Год назад +220

    You know, this reminds me of a funny story. One time, this random guy came up to me when I was walking the streets of China and gave me 50,000 yuan to kill some guy. Needless to say, I wasn't really up to it.

    • @badmexican333
      @badmexican333 Год назад +17

      Did you keep the money, though?

    • @uncolored2060
      @uncolored2060 Год назад +8

      That's a lot of money, enough to buy a couple of gaming PCs

    • @saoghail9769
      @saoghail9769 Год назад +89

      @@badmexican333 Nah. I gave 25k to this other guy I knew.

    • @user-ellievator
      @user-ellievator Год назад

      @@saoghail9769 He came to Kansas on a student exchange and offered me $75 to kill the guy. I talked him up to $100.
      Anyone want to make an easy $25?

    • @philguer4802
      @philguer4802 Год назад +1

      If you didn't want to do,why not pay someone to do it for you?

  • @pummyy
    @pummyy Год назад

    Every day when I go for dog walk at night, I play your channel in my earphones more like a podcast. The narration is epic, I paint a picture and the voice is soothing. Perfect end to the day. Haha.
    Keep up the work.

  • @kiwigoose698
    @kiwigoose698 Год назад +27

    Great video!
    Your style of videos are pure gold.

  • @miguelinileugim
    @miguelinileugim Год назад +1

    I know you really care about the quality of your videos because a month after and I'm still laughing at 4:44 even though it barely lasts a second. Instead of two clowns it's a clown and a jester and it implies it keeps going into an even clownier clown. Lol I love it so damn much

  • @N-cromancer
    @N-cromancer Год назад +142

    good job on getting the character's appearance to be similar to the real people.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +2

      They all look alike to me...

    • @N-cromancer
      @N-cromancer Год назад +7

      @@JTA1961 hey that's alright! It takes a bit of back and forth to notice, since there aren't too many photos of the lineup, but his characters copy small details like a hairstyle or chin that that connects them well.

    • @Kellexyz
      @Kellexyz Год назад

      ​@@JTA1961le funny yellow people look the same

    • @albingrahn5576
      @albingrahn5576 Год назад

      @@N-cromancer i think he was making a racist joke (a joke about racists, the joke itself isn't neccessarily racist)

    • @N-cromancer
      @N-cromancer Год назад

      @@albingrahn5576 oh well, that went over my head lol

  • @digitalphoenix72
    @digitalphoenix72 Месяц назад

    Thank you for repeatedly using the phrase "for some reason he was not overly eager to do the job himself", it really added the perfect effect for the listener😂

  • @PuddingMcMuffin
    @PuddingMcMuffin Год назад +13

    Seems like the intended victim had pretty good luck with all of the potential hitmen being too scared to actually kill someone themselves.

  • @Rad_Dan
    @Rad_Dan 6 месяцев назад

    Man, I’ve laughed at a bunch of your videos, and asking me to subscribe at the end got me. Thanks for not delegating your work to idiots

  • @helloimskip
    @helloimskip Год назад +39

    "Yeah man, it just shows that you should not hire a Chinese hitman."
    -Dantavius

  • @devious187
    @devious187 10 месяцев назад

    Your videos have been popping up in my recommended feed for a while now but I just started watching today, and im wondering what took me so long! Great work dude, love the video!

  • @HeisenbergFam
    @HeisenbergFam Год назад +22

    "story od a hitman who hired a hitman who hired a hitman who hired a hitman" is one of the best stories I've heard, spectacular work

  • @Li.Siyuan
    @Li.Siyuan Год назад +24

    I believe every word you said in your intro. Your pronunciation of the name Tan Youhui, apart from the tones, was pretty spot on - which is bloody impressive! Well done 😁. Two of the other names were not quite so impressive but still not at all bad. Mo is pronounced 'Muo', Tian is pronounced 'Tien' and si is pronounced 'suh'. BTW, yuan is pronounced 'yüen'.

  • @Dingo232
    @Dingo232 Год назад +4

    I’ve watched most of your videos for a long time and I don’t think I’ve ever commented. Absolutely love your videos and appreciate all the work and attention you put into them

  • @smbcollector
    @smbcollector Год назад +12

    I really respect you making these videos all by yourself, that's the true spirt of RUclips! I'm tired of seeing other creators hire help for the sake of pumping out more content and earning more money, I just want to see content that comes from the heart.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +1

      Double Athefumen

  • @Retro_Sean
    @Retro_Sean Год назад +9

    3rd gen Irish American. Just found your channel a couple days ago, already hooked. Thanks for the great content, and love to listen to you narrate good sir.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +2

      Tree generations... nice.

    • @Dockhead
      @Dockhead Год назад +1

      American… just American.

  • @BigMoTheBlackDragon
    @BigMoTheBlackDragon Год назад +1

    I have heard it all. A hitman MLM (multi level marketing -- a.k.a. a Ponzi Scheme).

  • @eliavrad2845
    @eliavrad2845 Год назад +20

    Surprised it wasn't mentioned that they all received the 2020 ig-noble prize in management, alongside (metaphorically, they were probably in jail) the winners of the prize in Medicine for "diagnosing a long-unrecognized medical condition of Misophonia, the distress of hearing other people making chewing sounds" and the winners of the prize in Acoustics for "inducing a female chinese alligator to bellow in an airtifht chamber filled with helium-enriched air"

    • @Qxir
      @Qxir  Год назад +12

      I didn't know they won an Ig Nobel!! That's hilarious!

  • @bredmon
    @bredmon Год назад +23

    I don’t think you’ll see this, but I like how you emphasized you are 100% responsible for the videos at the beginning, because your storytelling and jokes in this video were awesome. I loved how you kept the same phrases going when going about all the different transactions. Good video

  • @cinnamon_enjoyer4302
    @cinnamon_enjoyer4302 Год назад +9

    It's almost as if I went on holiday to the UK just to be able to catch a Qxir video as soon as it drops!
    Greetings from a deported Irish man.

  • @p4cks
    @p4cks Год назад

    i've only just happened upon your videos but jeez these are brilliantly produced! i doff my cap to you sir

  • @floridanews8786
    @floridanews8786 Год назад +10

    This story actually teaches a very valuable lesson, for some reason I thought you did this one already, but at any rate thanks!

    • @dannylamb456
      @dannylamb456 Год назад +2

      If you want something done right, do it yourself?

    • @renatatostada3318
      @renatatostada3318 Год назад

      ​@@dannylamb456 and here I thought the lesson was "don't try to get people killed" lol

  • @jacobkudrowich
    @jacobkudrowich Год назад +2

    Damn you're coming up on a million ! You definitely deserve it and a million more !

  • @Misanthrope84
    @Misanthrope84 Год назад +7

    Qxir, brother, I want you to personally know that every time I see a new video from you - I always immediately click it and know I'm in for a good ride. Keep them coming 🤘Love from Israel.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад +1

      Jew know it !!

  • @Racepiraat
    @Racepiraat Год назад

    I love this channel for all the weird stories you find.
    I never know what's next and they're all interesting and made even better by the great drawings.

  • @Cody-Coyote
    @Cody-Coyote Год назад +5

    I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Excellent video. Thanks.

  • @ROT4RYfc3s
    @ROT4RYfc3s Год назад

    Idk how you haven't passed the 1m+ subscriber count yet. I'm so glad I found this channel.

  • @thevagueyeti8710
    @thevagueyeti8710 Год назад +16

    Not a minute in and I know this is going to be a banger

  • @leegalen8383
    @leegalen8383 Год назад +1

    Love the squashed face up against the van window....

  • @OleJanssen
    @OleJanssen Год назад +54

    Personally, I am quite disappointed that Ling Xiansi was also charged. After all, I see no crime in a "hitman" having a meeting with their target and taking some photos.

    • @freakishuproar1168
      @freakishuproar1168 Год назад +12

      Maybe there's an element of fraud involved, it's just that the "fraud" involved faking a crime.
      I'm not a legal person by any means, but it's just a thought.

    • @mr.2minutes161
      @mr.2minutes161 Год назад

      maybe because, the moment you accept money to kill someone, its "conspiracy to commit murder"

    • @bosunbill9059
      @bosunbill9059 Год назад

      ​@@freakishuproar1168 conspiracy to murder I think.

    • @johnladuke6475
      @johnladuke6475 Год назад +8

      In a fair justice system, I could see his actions fitting a charge of obstruction of justice, or even for conspiracy to commit murder. He may not have taken any concrete steps to harm anyone, but as far as the police are concerned he should have done like the target - agree to the plan just long enough to slip away and tell the cops.

    • @flyerton99
      @flyerton99 Год назад +2

      @@johnladuke6475 Well, he still accepted the money.

  • @Trash-Bambino
    @Trash-Bambino Год назад +1

    One of my favorite talks from the bottles. Taking micro management to a whole new level

  • @Dive-Bros-Outdoors
    @Dive-Bros-Outdoors Год назад +5

    You're hilarious Qxir. Love the narration always entertaining. Keep up the good work 😅

  • @AaA-rc4jm
    @AaA-rc4jm Год назад +1

    he just need to contact the ICA so that the Hitman games will do the job😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @CSIS25
    @CSIS25 Год назад +4

    Hey Qxir like to thank you for the awesome videos and art work it is always fun and enjoyable to watch, keep up the good work!

  • @cowherdsman
    @cowherdsman Год назад

    Never realized you did it all but thats awesome. Don't ever change your style my guy!

  • @KarrierBag
    @KarrierBag Год назад +5

    I lost my Qxir T shirt when I managed to drive my land rover into a canal in Feb.
    Guess I need another.

    • @KarrierBag
      @KarrierBag Год назад

      @Cervezadog 1969 🤣🤣🤣
      Neither it is a new t shirt thats required.
      was in a bag and got ..... lost / sunk.

  • @R0B_WR
    @R0B_WR Год назад

    I love these videos in the mix with the others, the last moneys one can be a bit saddening to watch, having something a bit goofy is nice

  • @DeWah
    @DeWah Год назад +15

    Upload more pls or meet me at the spire tomorrow at 2pm

  • @tastyw0rm
    @tastyw0rm Год назад +1

    I like that they got lenient sentences as none of them actually followed through and weren't prepared to murder someone. However the hirer himself should have the book thrown at him.

  • @mbryson2899
    @mbryson2899 Год назад +5

    Thank you for sharing your research and this peculiar story.
    Also, as a USian, thank you for highlighting our effing ridiculously high Federal conviction rate.

    • @JTA1961
      @JTA1961 Год назад

      Plead or bleed that is their creed...

  • @DustinLittlefield
    @DustinLittlefield Год назад

    Your appreciated Qxir, thanks for all the amazing videos man. Seriously much love.

  • @sunny_muffins
    @sunny_muffins Год назад +5

    That`s why I hated teamwork at school!
    In the end it`s just one idiot who has to do all the job while getting nothing in return.

    • @stevedenis8292
      @stevedenis8292 Год назад +1

      That is the lesson to be learned from those projects.

  • @gimmedimmy6533
    @gimmedimmy6533 Год назад

    Joels are really very good.
    Thank you, Joel. You inspire me to be a better Joel.

  • @holyroli9956
    @holyroli9956 Год назад +5

    I love your honesty bro. Ie how you elaborated on the conviction rate. Nowadays that is rare

    • @Nib_Nob-t7x
      @Nib_Nob-t7x Год назад

      Yeah but he used statistics wrong
      He compared the entire Chinese justice system to the federal U.S justice system. If you take Into account for states (not just feds) the conviction rate for felonies is as low as 68%.

  • @D.NihilHEAVYIndustries
    @D.NihilHEAVYIndustries Год назад

    You are so close to 1 million subscribers and you'll probably get it by the end of the year who knows maybe even by the end of the summer or sooner than that either way, congratulations!!!! ☄️🎉

  • @KC_24s
    @KC_24s Год назад +40

    Love it when Qxir uploads and we appreciate the effort BTS ✌🏽

  • @darrellcook8253
    @darrellcook8253 Год назад

    This channel is at the top of my ten videos I look foward to and because it's hilarious and well thought out it keeps me alive. The art, the effort and the humor is first rate.
    Thanks for making my life better bro. I share the same sense of dark(?) humour.
    Sense of things piling up? Jeeze.

  • @jet47_
    @jet47_ Год назад +4

    thanks for another great video qxir

  • @javierpatag3609
    @javierpatag3609 Год назад

    I already know this story. I'm still watching (and loving) your video because it's a *_fantastic_* story. 🙂

  • @MeyerBen27
    @MeyerBen27 Год назад +3

    2:20 there's a good chance the guy he tried to hire black mailed him and threatened to turn him in if he didn't pay him more, and after negotiations only was left with 70k left.

  • @rmj7306
    @rmj7306 Год назад

    How I love your animations and stories. Thank you for helping me pass the time and learn something new

  • @Dizzula
    @Dizzula Год назад +6

    Skip to 00:49 the first time you watch this video, then go back and watch it again. Trust me, it's totally worth it!