I have tried this, i have told him he can let me know if and when hes not feeling it anymore. And he said he would, only to pull the rug from under me exactly after he told me he sees a future with me and wanted me to meet his family. Its people like him that confirm for me that demons exist. There is no way that a real person with a working heart can treat another person like that- you have to be entirely detached from humanity.
I thought immediately upon reading your title today, of "Rumination"...an affliction many men have known, including yours truly, but not of women, in general, IMHO. Dealing with PTSD, personality disorders, family legacies...folks. this stuff you cannot make up. LOL. Observation: Women being multi-taskers, and men linear thinkers,etc., herein lies danger for men. We beat the past to death, and are slow learning to change the nature of our thinking, concerning "what went wrong", become vengeful, and continue being behind recovery-progress. "Throwing our past in front of ourselves', comes to mind. A suggestion guys, from my 70 plus years...If you find a self-sufficient woman, boxes all checked off, who does not need, but wants a loving relationship, please be prepared to drop the ego games, as you get to know her.. She may see you as a higher value fella', and may, due to Her nature, understand men as "different", how we are wired. Thank you Susan...you are awesome, and 20x20 hind-site is perfect.😇😀
Flashpanning doesn't last. We know the signs of "too hot too soon" and although many people have appreciated this recent trend of wanting to "label the relationship" the greater fear is that they do it too quickly, and realize they're not up to the task. Thank you for your contribution to this page and for watching the video
I’d been in this situation before and gotten disappointed. Now I take my time. I believe maybe this guy found another woman or someone from the past pop up.
Ann, we may never know the reason. He may not know the reason himself. regardless, he left before he considered whether he could sustain his movement. That’s why it’s important to go slowly. That’s the check for consistency that is required in the sustainable relationship.
Susan I really appreciated this video, but I thought you'd talk about the stages of grief after the breakup, since it says in the title "who hurts more?". I'd appreciate if you did a video on that! Love u btw ❤️
this is very similar to what happened to me a week ago, when I came out of the so-called "situationship". Me and the guy discussed what kind of relationship we were looking for (both agreed on exclusive, closed, committed). Fast forward ten dates (which amounted to six weeks in total), and very accidentally I learn that we were never exclusive. while the dude has abstained from sex for five freaking dates because I told him I was not ready? and then trying to backpedal that it was never that serious? while also proactively asking me out almost every time?? and then deciding he was not ready to commit?? I cannot make any sense out of it and neither can he, I am sure eventually, he called everything off and I'm glad he did, because I probably would have stayed longer in this situation. But please, NEVER say you want a serious relationship, if you are NOT READY for it! do not promise more than you can fulfil. because it hurts the people who can
He found something better. He wanted to get out of this one but still feel like he’s not a bad person, a bit of crying and drama, consciously or subconsciously, can get them that satisfaction of having their cake and eating it too
You can figure a lot out by keeping boundaries and be done with it when you see things you don't want in a partner on the first few dates. Moving at your own pace also makes sure you don't get too invested in the beginning, even if the other person is moving way too fast. When they realise you have a different pace, they usually slow down as well or they quit. Either is fine.
I thought the video is more about why do these men commit so quickly and then panic out? Is it a pattern if so many of them do this? I experienced that years ago and it was feeling traumatic and totally not understandable, Knowing that this happens often would have been comfort and I agree nowadays, if it is that quick and fast it is not real but simply a kind of projection..
I’m really sorry to hear about this experience for you. And of course it’s traumatizing. First your Lord into the belief that you have a solid commitment. You were asked to be a partner, and the relationship was formalized. Then the trauma sets in when suddenly you’re dumped. It is even more profound if you were not given any reason at all.
I dated a guy for four months (saw him once or twice a week) and he didn't want a relationship and he didn't have time. But he always made time for me during those four months. Afterwards, he kept asking if I was seeing someone and became emotionally more available. We aren't together but are still friends.
I'm a guy watching your videos. It is interesting to see, that all you say goes for both sexes :D We make it so complicated. So many games are played, so less is actually communicated directly ^^
Just came here to say ''thankyou so much❤''.due to you I have been able to move on in life,I am now happier than I was. You are an amazing person. ✨
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It really means the world to me to read this and to know that you are in a happier place now.❤❤❤
I have tried this, i have told him he can let me know if and when hes not feeling it anymore. And he said he would, only to pull the rug from under me exactly after he told me he sees a future with me and wanted me to meet his family. Its people like him that confirm for me that demons exist. There is no way that a real person with a working heart can treat another person like that- you have to be entirely detached from humanity.
I thought immediately upon reading your title today, of "Rumination"...an affliction many men have known, including yours truly, but not of women, in general, IMHO. Dealing with PTSD, personality disorders, family legacies...folks. this stuff you cannot make up. LOL. Observation: Women being multi-taskers, and men linear thinkers,etc., herein lies danger for men. We beat the past to death, and are slow learning to change the nature of our thinking, concerning "what went wrong", become vengeful, and continue being behind recovery-progress. "Throwing our past in front of ourselves', comes to mind. A suggestion guys, from my 70 plus years...If you find a self-sufficient woman, boxes all checked off, who does not need, but wants a loving relationship, please be prepared to drop the ego games, as you get to know her.. She may see you as a higher value fella', and may, due to Her nature, understand men as "different", how we are wired. Thank you Susan...you are awesome, and 20x20 hind-site is perfect.😇😀
LOVE YOUR COMMENTARY!!!!!!! Thank you for this sage advice Darrell
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Flashpanning doesn't last. We know the signs of "too hot too soon" and although many people have appreciated this recent trend of wanting to "label the relationship" the greater fear is that they do it too quickly, and realize they're not up to the task. Thank you for your contribution to this page and for watching the video
Yes. Had a 5 hour meet and greet. Two dates. Fireworks 💥. Then breadcrumbs. Ridiculous!!!
It was for the best in the long run!
@@SusanWinter I’m sure you’re right, dear Susan.
I’d been in this situation before and gotten disappointed. Now I take my time. I believe maybe this guy found another woman or someone from the past pop up.
Ann, we may never know the reason. He may not know the reason himself. regardless, he left before he considered whether he could sustain his movement. That’s why it’s important to go slowly. That’s the check for consistency that is required in the sustainable relationship.
Pacing is fine but that honest conversation not everyone is serious & honest about that
Susan I really appreciated this video, but I thought you'd talk about the stages of grief after the breakup, since it says in the title "who hurts more?". I'd appreciate if you did a video on that! Love u btw ❤️
Please check out my audio book “Breakup Triage!”
this is very similar to what happened to me a week ago, when I came out of the so-called "situationship". Me and the guy discussed what kind of relationship we were looking for (both agreed on exclusive, closed, committed). Fast forward ten dates (which amounted to six weeks in total), and very accidentally I learn that we were never exclusive. while the dude has abstained from sex for five freaking dates because I told him I was not ready? and then trying to backpedal that it was never that serious? while also proactively asking me out almost every time?? and then deciding he was not ready to commit?? I cannot make any sense out of it and neither can he, I am sure eventually, he called everything off and I'm glad he did, because I probably would have stayed longer in this situation. But please, NEVER say you want a serious relationship, if you are NOT READY for it! do not promise more than you can fulfil. because it hurts the people who can
The first few dates should always be in public and preferably in a group of people so you can assess with a little bit of distance what they’re like.
I totally agree!
The last guy didn’t understand it when I wanted to talk about values to see if we could blend lifestyles. 🤦🏻♀️
Sounds like you avoided a bad situation!
He found something better. He wanted to get out of this one but still feel like he’s not a bad person, a bit of crying and drama, consciously or subconsciously, can get them that satisfaction of having their cake and eating it too
You look AMAZING, Susan.
❤❤❤❤ you’re so sweet! Thank you!
The sad part is you can have an agreement about communication and they’ll still not do it and end up ghosting you 😂
this is exactly what happened to me. we agreed to one day in the week and one day on the weekend and he... vanished.
Looking GORGEOUS 😍 You look younger by the minute. Love you & love your advice. It’s so necessary.
You can figure a lot out by keeping boundaries and be done with it when you see things you don't want in a partner on the first few dates. Moving at your own pace also makes sure you don't get too invested in the beginning, even if the other person is moving way too fast. When they realise you have a different pace, they usually slow down as well or they quit. Either is fine.
I thought the video is more about why do these men commit so quickly and then panic out? Is it a pattern if so many of them do this? I experienced that years ago and it was feeling traumatic and totally not understandable, Knowing that this happens often would have been comfort and I agree nowadays, if it is that quick and fast it is not real but simply a kind of projection..
Looking very good, susan, mashallah!!!
Thank you!
I'm in my 2nd month of NC and I'm still hurting in pain and crying everyday. I just wish it would stop.
Have you listened to my audio book “Breakup Triage?” It might help!!❤
This happend with me , traumatized
I’m really sorry to hear about this experience for you. And of course it’s traumatizing. First your Lord into the belief that you have a solid commitment. You were asked to be a partner, and the relationship was formalized. Then the trauma sets in when suddenly you’re dumped. It is even more profound if you were not given any reason at all.
I dated a guy for four months (saw him once or twice a week) and he didn't want a relationship and he didn't have time. But he always made time for me during those four months. Afterwards, he kept asking if I was seeing someone and became emotionally more available. We aren't together but are still friends.
Susan, can you talk about your own stories? How old are you? Do you find it easy to date?
I'm a guy watching your videos. It is interesting to see, that all you say goes for both sexes :D
We make it so complicated. So many games are played, so less is actually communicated directly ^^
Red flags 🚩
Happened with me last year. Lesson learned
I’m sorry to hear that! I hope you’re in a happier place
@@SusanWinter a much better place!
Bravo 👏. You just keep getting better!!!!!❤️🩹. Much respect.
Thank you, Lucy! I appreciate you watching!
This happend with me , traumatized
I answered the above