I found myself at my childhood park last year (AT 25 YEARS OLD) and was sitting on the swing like "huh that feels nice, I should come do this more often. Swings are amazing but I will never forget the feeling of being in a hammock as a young child, just cocooned, with a sheet on top of me for the bugs and a string in my hand to pull it back and forth. I still remember how good that nap was. If I had a garden, there would be a swing, a hammock and a pull up bar to hang from and I don't care if there is any space left for chairs or a table 😂😂
The swing thing is so real. I recently was forced to move back home after getting kicked out of my house due to autistic burnout/frequent meltdowns :( BUT! With that came two positives: A front porch swing, and room in my work from home office for a mini trampoline. Both of these tools have been life changing. I go on the porch between every transition during work- Before and after meetings, when switching btwn projects, etc. I bounce when I need to think or am anxious. Stims are magical!
I'm 38 undiagnosed: Swings, rocking back and forth while sitting and for falling asleep, rubbing my nails together, humming, and when i was very young i was a headbanger ..I'd have to bang my head on the pillow to fall asleep (I know thats a strange one)🙃 love your videos! ❤
Wow, you really sell the appeal of a swing. Now I kinda wanna install one in the back yard! 😀 I do rock, pretty subtly and slowly, but the full-fat movement of a swing would be great. BTW, your hair is really pretty and looks nice when you move it like that. Don't be embarrassed to use it as a stim!
Hi there. I am Jason from down here in Somerset. As a late diagnosed autistic I realised that I have stimmed my whole life but really only noticed it when I thought about it. Thank you for your great content, it is really helpful every day especially on struggling days 😊
Yes, I can relate to chewing the inside of my mouth. I also repeat what I have said, moving my lips or quietly repeating. Making random sounds in the car in private is good fun.
I chewed the inside of my cheeks all through high school. I tried not to overdo it, but it was pretty constant. My most common stim is shaking my lower legs. My leg-shaking has been commented on occasionally, but I have never stopped doing it, and don't plan to.
I am almost always gently squeezing and massaging the inside of my lower lip next to my canines _with_ my canines. It's just... satisfying. I've somehow managed never to hurt myself. I also sometimes just tap my canines together rhythmicallym or slide the lower up and down the inside of the upper.
@@DanaAndersen Luckily I live in a small somewhat rural town, so I can walk down the street and talk to myself and sing and spin and skip without being anxious about someone seeing me. Especially in cold weather, when no one else is outside. I recommend woods for stimming actually. The ground is interesting and uneven, so I can jump over things and giggle to my heart's content, and pick up cool sticks to snap whack on things along the way. Very stimmy. And usually there's no one there!
Been chewing my cheeks and light hum all the time. Even though I've been DX, you don't need to be dx to stim. I never realize any of them and im trying to recognize them still.
Just about to watch this but honestly THAT CROCHET BLANKET IS AMAZING! I had one, when I was little. I don't know what happened to it, but it was different shades of blue and I loved it sooo much. -Mike
Thank you Dana. As a child, of my stims were negative, distracting, or destructive, as far as I was told. Biting fingernails, chewing mouth, biting skin, scratching to the point of creating wounds…things like that. They got me perpetually fussed at, so I stopped doing most of them. I’m not sure what I do now.
a teacher in high school pointed out my cheek-chewing in the /middle of class/ and said it was gross/impolite. it hasn't stopped me but who the hell acts this way ??? and I relate so hard to swinging as a stim! I've started going to the nearest park when it's quiet and going on the swings, very healing. I get something similar (but not quite the same) with roller-coasters
omg!! I relate so much to some of these. before I was diagnosed I used to stim a lot but i didn't know at the time that that's what it was and my family would literally say 'why are u doing that you're not fing disabled' or 'stop being annoying' these days i just ignore them bc i know its something i cant control. My fave stims tho are just making random sounds using my hands or feet like even if i have nothing around me you can guarantee ill find some way to make an annoying repetitive sound haha. ALSO trousers!! yaknow when like a pair of leggings for example has wrinkles in them and you just push the wrinkles around with your fingers.. like that just tickles a part of my brain
Discovering chewing gum has been a godsend of a stim! Running my nail on the thumb tip (oddly has to be middle finger on thumb. The others don't hit right lol). Twizzling a pinky ring. Toe tapping. Yep, running my hand through my hair. There's probably others, tbf, that I'm still totally subconscious about and don't notice. Mostly, I've tried to find ones I look 'normal' doing when I'm around people aswell as home. People used to think I was always wanting to leave due to fidgeting too much, so finding ones people don't notice really, or wouldn't think about was definitely a process. Some parts conscious, but tbh mostly not even. You just, kind of, do it I suppose.
Definitely feel you on the mouth stims. I constantly grind my teeth throughout the day. Not in a stressed out way, but I just like the sensation and to an extent the sound it makes in my head
I'm not official yet (can't afford test in Canada) and gay, and I do all that in some form! I prefer the company of animals rather than people, yet I feel i 'should' have friends, ugh! I click my tongue and whistle to mimic sounds of animals, make popping sounds with my mouth, hum, all when no one else is listening. A good trick is to have a 'song-of-the-day' playing in your head, almost like a theme to what you're going through. Such as, Marina and the Diamonds' 'Teen Idol' song!! I used to play with colored markers/felt pens as action figures, even though I had toys lol! Sour gummies, hell ya!! The flavor, zing, and texture for sure! With people like you sharing their experiences, stims, and other traits really made me have more insight on my own behaviors. I'm at the part of my journey where I now know and accept I have Autism, but because I don't have an official diagnosis, then I CAN'T have Autism, but may have 'masked' ADHD or something else. So worried I'm gonna go on a merry-go-round of meds I know I don't need when I'm literally telling them what's going on, very frustrating! Sorry for rant lol! cheers
I have had the exact same mindset for 3 years now. I do all these and sometimes it makes people upset. Still don't have a diagnosis but your feelings are valid and you have a choice to choose whether you think meds are appropriate or if instilling a few good coping mechanisms is the way. Lean into these stinking behaviors and work with your brain and you'll already see a difference. And those who care about you are going to understand.
I do the same movement of pulling back my hair when they are not tied! For me I think is a sensory issue rather than masking. I really don't like to have my hair touching my face and I usually put them in a bun, an half up bun or tie them somehow Thank you for your videos, I see myself a lot in them 💕
I have very short hair and I still twist my hair and play with it as a form of stimming. I also love velvet textures on fabrics, including on upholstery most of what I do is wigging my fingers or rubbing neighboring sides of fingers together, or tap the tips of my fingers on my thumb in a particular pattern that’s complicated to explain
I think I do the same thumb/fingers thing. Sort of in circles, but the fingers move up and down too. Edit: wait a second... I know someone who goes by dddaaannn online. That you, Dan S.?
@@Felice_Enellen That's not me, but Dan is a very common name and I only used this version because all the ones with fewer letters were taken My thumb tapping is actually a combination cycle pattern that I started doing in elementary school to keep myself entertained and to satisfy my brain, so it starts out with taping each of my fingers separately, then my fingers in all the possible simultaneous pairs, then all the possible simultaneous triples, and then all four fingers together, then it starts over. If I'm just wiggling my fingers and not tapping, then I do all sorts of motions, depending on what I feel like
@@d.d.d.a.a.a.n.n.n Fair enough. Given that it's a short name, it does seem like a method for altering it to make it unique that more than one person would think of. 🙂 Just call me Fffeeelll. 😜
One stim I realized recently that I've been doing all my life is pulling myself in and out with the oven handle. It's at the perfect height, right at my hips, and I just lean backwards and then pull myself forwards, backwards, forwards---it's the most soothing thing in the world. I was told to stop doing it because my mom was afraid the oven handle was going to come off (it was getting really loose) 😂If she hadn't said anything about it I probably would never have noticed that I was doing it. It's just what I do when I'm waiting around in the kitchen. I've been trying to think how I can make myself a little secure handlebar in my office so I can stim that way while I'm thinking. Unfortunately I'm renting so I can't screw it into the wall...
My stim has been nose picking and leg twitching. I been picking my nose ever since I can remember. I remember teachers in early school were always telling me off for picking my nose. I heard all the horror stories from people trying to stop me from picking my nose like "your brains will fall out," and "do you want a spoon?" I would be sat at my desk and my leg would be shaking up and down. Course I didn't know these things were stims at the time. I still pick my nose, don't know I am doing it half the time.
My advisor in graduate school, who didn't know I was autistic, would always throw an alligator clip across the desk when I came in. He knew I was a fidgeter. Luckily, I didn't feel at all self-conscious about playing with the thing. Leg shaking is my main stim. I don't even try to control it--and never have. Yes, it makes me look nervous, but so what? I AM nervous.
I always get horrified when I see footage of my "idle" self because of all the "mouth stuff" and other supposedly discreet stuff I do that turns out to be visible. In that way facemasks felt like a blessing and I still feel safer wearing them just because I don't have to watch my lower face movements so much. So I confess that I did laugh a bit at Dana's moments of horrified realization and subsequent panic, but like, with empathy. Sorry.
I've been biting my cheeks since I was a toddler lol. It's my favorite stim as well. I've tried quitting here and there but the anxiety puts me right back.
I do so many weird mouth stims, too. I touch the insides of my teeth with my tongue and go from side to side, especially on my lower teeth because I have a retainer there which feels extra nice, I curl my tongue all the way back and suck the air from the front part of my mouth, I put my tongue between my lips, close my lips really tightly, and move my tongue from side to side, or I'll just have it stick out at the top and go up and down with the tip. I especially started to do the latter two things since I started to go out masked (the covid kind of masked) all the time and people couldn't see it. I also do a lot of rocking back and forth when I'm sitting, or getting up on my toes and back down or just move my weight from foot to foot when I'm standing, or wiggle my legs when I'm lying down. When I'm out in public and need a way to stim that people will hopefully not notice, I rub my thumb and index finger against each other or make a fist and repeatedly push my nails into my palm - not so much that it hurts, but that I can concentrate on the sensation -, and when I'm in noisy places, I sometimes hum in a very deep sound, which has the added benefit of calming down my breath. And recently I learned that I was apparently able to imitate my school's fire alarm bell when I was a teenager and that I sometimes confused both classmates and teachers by doing it while we were waiting to be allowed back in, and I think that's quite hilarious.
In high school I had trichotillomania---when I was particularly anxious or uncomfortable I would sort of cross my arms and pick at my arm hairs. I was already self-conscious about it but I didn't think it was that noticeable until a guy a few grades up from me came over to me and started copying what I was doing. It was so horrible and I felt so tiny and childish, and I don't know if I've done it since. I hate the way I react in those situations. I was so anxious and I didn't even know why, and he apparently just couldn't resist. He wasn't trying to be mean, I think, just trying to be funny, which is worse sometimes.
I don't think you should excuse him for doing it just because you think he meant to be funny. Making fun of someone's behaviors is only funny to unempathetic people. There's absolutely _no_ way it's _not_ going to make the person feel bad. On the bright side, trichotillomania can lead to some _really_ bad outcomes, so it might be for the best that you got discouraged. I'm just upset about the method he used. 😕
I loved swings but have rarely been on them as an adult because too many people see them as just for kids - swings should be for everyone! Perhaps I've tried to replicate the feeling by swinging / rocking back on chairs - not as big a movement but more discreet and easier to do as an adult. Unfortunately I have broken some chairs as a result and I don't have I can swing on right now.
I love sour stuff! I scratch my jeans. I play with zippers. The tongue stims. Jeez, I didn't realize that I was doing so many stims! I bite my lower lip and I shake my lower leg (the stereotypical ADHD stim). People used to ask me if I was nervous a lot. Some creepy guys asked me if they were making me nervous. I was like "No, I am always like this!"
I related so much with your salt&vinegar crisps stim, I have the same thing with coke or sparkling water, I need them bubbles in my mouth hahaha, it feels so good hahaha ✨
Here's something really important to know and internalize about humanity: For whatever reasons, our evolution led to certain specialized _genetic_ roles in tribes, like roles in a beehive or an anthill, that persist to this day. For instance, we the auties were probably the shamans, oracles, medicine doctors, or even the (oral) historians, because we were psychologically well suited to it, but not necessarily to hunting or farming. Insomniacs were the night watch. The super empathetic nurturing types were the ones herding, monitoring and teaching the kids. The sturdy methodical people were the farmers. And the people who were best at being ruthless predators were the tribe's hunters. That last group of people, the predators/hunters, are today most likely the ones we identify as having anti-social personality disorders like sociopathy and psychopathy. They instinctively want to dominate and kill animals even as children, often in terrible ways. They have no scruples and they tend to be aggressive, cruel, and sometimes even violent, though some do have the sense to realize they're just creating problems (for themselves) and will (usually) rein themselves in for pragmatic reasons (not empathetic ones), maybe landing them a job as a ruthless CEO instead of a ruthless hunter. Statistically, this group makes up about 5% of the population, 4% as sociopaths and 1% as psychopaths. That's 1 in 20 people who have pretty much no moral compass. This totally explains why _every_ classroom has its own bully, if not two, and why it's so common to run into someone whose behavior makes no sense to a person who assumes all humans are capable of empathetic reactions and behavior if only they are sat down and talked to long enough. Alas, no, this doesn't work with them. So when you see something horrible happen, or it happens to you, just assume that's why. It's not really about you or the other victims, there's no good explanation, there's really no fixing them or the problems they create, and all you can do is learn to recognize them and _stay away from them_ as much as possible, or at least extricate yourself from situations where you find them. But never spend energy and emotion on wondering "why?!?", because it's not a mental exercise that'll ever bear fruit. "Why?" is simply because it's something fun and exciting for them, foreign as that might be to an empathetic mind.
There's some fascinating, and Imo yeah, I'd agree, totally factful studies on this. How the modern world kind of compresses us all into a homogeny without giving space for our evolutionary niches to thrive. I try to keep conscious about this when struggling with NTs and the invariable conflict with that. It is a shame they aren't coming to us to rid them of spirits and ill fortune anymore though. Instead opting to make us a pseudo-prey lol.
100%, there’s no point to it and i don’t see why I should make myself uncomfortable to make someone else more comfortable, especially when we could just not make eye contact and both be a low level of comfortable 😂
I fake it--by looking just above the bridge of their nose. If the conversation requires concentration to understand what is being said, I don't even look at the person, but look to the side, just past their face. I don't really care if that seems weird. Anyway, no one has ever complained about it.
What I do is that I make very brief eye contact whenever I _start_ talking, and again when I stop and _they_ start talking. I might occasionally also flick my eyeline towards theirs if they've been talking a while. I haven't had anyone complain that I'm talking to the person over their shoulder, or the wall, since I found this trick, and it's fairly painless because it never lasts long enough to make me anxious. The other thing that I think helps is to let your mind wander just a tiny bit and look around the room when you're not looking at them, rather than staring at a spot on the wall or floor. It can be interesting to look at all of the details of things around you, like wood grain or reflections or plants or whatever else you like looking at, so it's not a burden at all. I think it makes me seem more engaged with the situation and less distant or aloof. Personally I find it feels fairly natural; maybe it's a touch of AD(H)D, I dunno. Anyway, as long as you're verbally or visible engaged with the conversation in other ways, like mhm'ing or nodding or tilting your head quizzically or whatever suits the situation, I think most people can look past your looking past them. 🙂
when i was a kid and teen i would get sour candies and didn't realize it was a stim. (was diagnosed at 36). idk if you have pop rocks in the uk, but it's a sizzling candy and i used to like that. (i can't stand them now).
@@DanaAndersen I gave up soda for dietary reasons and I really miss the fizz. Sometimes I'll grab sprite zero just to have the experience. I don't really care about the sprite flavor, I just like the fizz. It's too bad I don't like the flavor of sparkling water.
I guarantee nobody notices your knee claw-hand stim. I do a lot of similar stims with my hands, and after *over-asking* the people around me about it, it's clear to me that nobody really notices, nor do they care. I say my name three times often as well- nobody reacts. Sometimes friends even repeat it with me. All that to say, I'm learning that stimming is okay and good people don't give a shit, lol.
A lot of this I can relate to, especially the parts where you’re like, “I don’t do this…” or “this isn’t noticeable” and then you’re like “oh fk” xD that’s been me on my journey of self discovery with autism lmao Omg salt and vinegar chips! You’re right! That’s why I used to like them! I don’t really like the flavor it’s the … thing that happens that I like sometimes! I didn’t know that was a stim hahaha they’ve changed the brand I always ate growing up in the US- they’re not nearly as punchy as they were before so it doesn’t really work anymore, which is sad. Thanks for sharing!! ^_^
I used to love the swing I'm not sure if rocking would have the same effect it is different motion I need to get a rocking chair and find out you can get blow up once that are cheap but can't see them being very smooth
I’m 45 next week and been bald for 20 years but still tuck my “hair” behind my ears when I’m stressed. There’s no hair there! Used to be bright green and down to my waist. 😂😂
I do my neck sometimes I tap the back of my phone with my second finger next to the thumb I've done head shaking but I got total by the teacher I have also done finger sucking lol
Hi! I’m pretty new to discovering stims and trying to let myself unmask,, can you please show more subtle stims or anything that you use in public for your autism!
I’m sorry that man mocked you for your cheek chewing stim. Similar things have happened to Mae, and it always leaves me feeling so small and like, well, can’t ever do that again now, can I?!
I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and have really enjoyed them! I’m curious, your video where you talked about sort of trying to convince yourself you aren’t autistic, how did you deal with those thoughts? I’ve been awaiting a diagnosis myself and being trans whose AFAB, I’ve been having thoughts of what if I’m not autistic(not that it’s a good or bad thing obviously), what if I’m wasting professionals time?
I am an expert at getting out of jury duty. When the defense and prosecuting attorneys ask questions of me, I give extremist answers they will hate: "Do you think the police would lie about the speed someone was going?" "Are you kidding, the police are the biggest liars around!" The judge usually knows what I'm doing, but it always works, and is sort of fun.
@@steveneardley7541 Yeah, even if the judge/lawyers know what you're doing, you'll still become a weird unknown to them, and the whole point of _voir dire_ is to get rid of weird unknowns that might mess up a verdict. I'm semi lucky being a permanent resident and not a citizen in that I don't qualify for jury duty. What sucks is that I would actually _like_ to do it. I think it's my duty to society and a chance to serve justice. But I just am NOT suited to the task.
I'm 45 and about to build myself an adult-sized swingset in my back yard. I really need the stimming, the privacy and the vitamin D right now.
You are living my dream 😂💕
yesss and we're all definitely needing that nutrition from the sun
I need to do this!!!
Man, I would LOVE to have my own commercial type swingset like they have in public parks!
I found myself at my childhood park last year (AT 25 YEARS OLD) and was sitting on the swing like "huh that feels nice, I should come do this more often. Swings are amazing but I will never forget the feeling of being in a hammock as a young child, just cocooned, with a sheet on top of me for the bugs and a string in my hand to pull it back and forth. I still remember how good that nap was. If I had a garden, there would be a swing, a hammock and a pull up bar to hang from and I don't care if there is any space left for chairs or a table 😂😂
The swing thing is so real. I recently was forced to move back home after getting kicked out of my house due to autistic burnout/frequent meltdowns :(
BUT! With that came two positives: A front porch swing, and room in my work from home office for a mini trampoline. Both of these tools have been life changing. I go on the porch between every transition during work- Before and after meetings, when switching btwn projects, etc. I bounce when I need to think or am anxious. Stims are magical!
I've been craving a trampoline---I never thought of a mini indoor trampoline, that's such a good idea!
I'm 38 undiagnosed: Swings, rocking back and forth while sitting and for falling asleep, rubbing my nails together, humming, and when i was very young i was a headbanger ..I'd have to bang my head on the pillow to fall asleep (I know thats a strange one)🙃 love your videos! ❤
When you rub your nails, do you do it sort of washboard style? I do this, it makes a nice sound and feeling. 🙂
(Not good for nail polish!)
@@Felice_Enellen yes! Haha🙂
Wow, you really sell the appeal of a swing. Now I kinda wanna install one in the back yard! 😀 I do rock, pretty subtly and slowly, but the full-fat movement of a swing would be great.
BTW, your hair is really pretty and looks nice when you move it like that. Don't be embarrassed to use it as a stim!
Hi there. I am Jason from down here in Somerset. As a late diagnosed autistic I realised that I have stimmed my whole life but really only noticed it when I thought about it. Thank you for your great content, it is really helpful every day especially on struggling days 😊
Congratulations! You passed 7,000 subscribers.
Yes, I can relate to chewing the inside of my mouth. I also repeat what I have said, moving my lips or quietly repeating. Making random sounds in the car in private is good fun.
I wish I had a car purely as a space for making sounds no one else can hear 😂
I chewed the inside of my cheeks all through high school. I tried not to overdo it, but it was pretty constant. My most common stim is shaking my lower legs. My leg-shaking has been commented on occasionally, but I have never stopped doing it, and don't plan to.
I am almost always gently squeezing and massaging the inside of my lower lip next to my canines _with_ my canines. It's just... satisfying. I've somehow managed never to hurt myself. I also sometimes just tap my canines together rhythmicallym or slide the lower up and down the inside of the upper.
@@DanaAndersen Luckily I live in a small somewhat rural town, so I can walk down the street and talk to myself and sing and spin and skip without being anxious about someone seeing me. Especially in cold weather, when no one else is outside. I recommend woods for stimming actually. The ground is interesting and uneven, so I can jump over things and giggle to my heart's content, and pick up cool sticks to snap whack on things along the way. Very stimmy. And usually there's no one there!
Been chewing my cheeks and light hum all the time. Even though I've been DX, you don't need to be dx to stim. I never realize any of them and im trying to recognize them still.
Just about to watch this but honestly THAT CROCHET BLANKET IS AMAZING! I had one, when I was little. I don't know what happened to it, but it was different shades of blue and I loved it sooo much. -Mike
You guys should do a Collab! ❤ That would be 🎉
Thank you Dana. As a child, of my stims were negative, distracting, or destructive, as far as I was told. Biting fingernails, chewing mouth, biting skin, scratching to the point of creating wounds…things like that. They got me perpetually fussed at, so I stopped doing most of them. I’m not sure what I do now.
a teacher in high school pointed out my cheek-chewing in the /middle of class/ and said it was gross/impolite. it hasn't stopped me but who the hell acts this way ???
and I relate so hard to swinging as a stim! I've started going to the nearest park when it's quiet and going on the swings, very healing. I get something similar (but not quite the same) with roller-coasters
I like rollercoasters too!
Amazing sweater. Great colors in your videos including the cutest red glow on your cheeks. Super cool.
omg!! I relate so much to some of these. before I was diagnosed I used to stim a lot but i didn't know at the time that that's what it was and my family would literally say 'why are u doing that you're not fing disabled' or 'stop being annoying' these days i just ignore them bc i know its something i cant control. My fave stims tho are just making random sounds using my hands or feet like even if i have nothing around me you can guarantee ill find some way to make an annoying repetitive sound haha. ALSO trousers!! yaknow when like a pair of leggings for example has wrinkles in them and you just push the wrinkles around with your fingers.. like that just tickles a part of my brain
Discovering chewing gum has been a godsend of a stim! Running my nail on the thumb tip (oddly has to be middle finger on thumb. The others don't hit right lol). Twizzling a pinky ring. Toe tapping. Yep, running my hand through my hair. There's probably others, tbf, that I'm still totally subconscious about and don't notice. Mostly, I've tried to find ones I look 'normal' doing when I'm around people aswell as home. People used to think I was always wanting to leave due to fidgeting too much, so finding ones people don't notice really, or wouldn't think about was definitely a process. Some parts conscious, but tbh mostly not even. You just, kind of, do it I suppose.
Definitely feel you on the mouth stims. I constantly grind my teeth throughout the day. Not in a stressed out way, but I just like the sensation and to an extent the sound it makes in my head
I tap my teeth together sometimes.
I definitely eat as a stim too but omg especially when I’m burned out.
Looking forward to the day when you can do any and all stims on video and you’ll looove editing it! 💪😻
This is actually so lovely to say, thank you so much! 🥰🥰🥰
Awww! I'm delighted to hear that! 🥰
Hi Dana, I’m 50, from Newcastle, got Asbergers, never been to Liverpool or Manchester. Great channel.
I'm not official yet (can't afford test in Canada) and gay, and I do all that in some form! I prefer the company of animals rather than people, yet I feel i 'should' have friends, ugh! I click my tongue and whistle to mimic sounds of animals, make popping sounds with my mouth, hum, all when no one else is listening. A good trick is to have a 'song-of-the-day' playing in your head, almost like a theme to what you're going through. Such as, Marina and the Diamonds' 'Teen Idol' song!! I used to play with colored markers/felt pens as action figures, even though I had toys lol! Sour gummies, hell ya!! The flavor, zing, and texture for sure! With people like you sharing their experiences, stims, and other traits really made me have more insight on my own behaviors. I'm at the part of my journey where I now know and accept I have Autism, but because I don't have an official diagnosis, then I CAN'T have Autism, but may have 'masked' ADHD or something else. So worried I'm gonna go on a merry-go-round of meds I know I don't need when I'm literally telling them what's going on, very frustrating! Sorry for rant lol! cheers
I have had the exact same mindset for 3 years now. I do all these and sometimes it makes people upset. Still don't have a diagnosis but your feelings are valid and you have a choice to choose whether you think meds are appropriate or if instilling a few good coping mechanisms is the way. Lean into these stinking behaviors and work with your brain and you'll already see a difference. And those who care about you are going to understand.
I do the same movement of pulling back my hair when they are not tied! For me I think is a sensory issue rather than masking. I really don't like to have my hair touching my face and I usually put them in a bun, an half up bun or tie them somehow
Thank you for your videos, I see myself a lot in them 💕
I have very short hair and I still twist my hair and play with it as a form of stimming. I also love velvet textures on fabrics, including on upholstery
most of what I do is wigging my fingers or rubbing neighboring sides of fingers together, or tap the tips of my fingers on my thumb in a particular pattern that’s complicated to explain
I think I do the same thumb/fingers thing. Sort of in circles, but the fingers move up and down too.
Edit: wait a second... I know someone who goes by dddaaannn online. That you, Dan S.?
@@Felice_Enellen That's not me, but Dan is a very common name and I only used this version because all the ones with fewer letters were taken
My thumb tapping is actually a combination cycle pattern that I started doing in elementary school to keep myself entertained and to satisfy my brain, so it starts out with taping each of my fingers separately, then my fingers in all the possible simultaneous pairs, then all the possible simultaneous triples, and then all four fingers together, then it starts over. If I'm just wiggling my fingers and not tapping, then I do all sorts of motions, depending on what I feel like
@@d.d.d.a.a.a.n.n.n Fair enough. Given that it's a short name, it does seem like a method for altering it to make it unique that more than one person would think of. 🙂 Just call me Fffeeelll. 😜
@@Felice_Enellen lol
One stim I realized recently that I've been doing all my life is pulling myself in and out with the oven handle. It's at the perfect height, right at my hips, and I just lean backwards and then pull myself forwards, backwards, forwards---it's the most soothing thing in the world. I was told to stop doing it because my mom was afraid the oven handle was going to come off (it was getting really loose) 😂If she hadn't said anything about it I probably would never have noticed that I was doing it. It's just what I do when I'm waiting around in the kitchen. I've been trying to think how I can make myself a little secure handlebar in my office so I can stim that way while I'm thinking. Unfortunately I'm renting so I can't screw it into the wall...
The worst thing is that most playground swings are now too small for my adult sized hips, so I can only swing for a short time until my hips hurt ☹
My stim has been nose picking and leg twitching. I been picking my nose ever since I can remember. I remember teachers in early school were always telling me off for picking my nose. I heard all the horror stories from people trying to stop me from picking my nose like "your brains will fall out," and "do you want a spoon?" I would be sat at my desk and my leg would be shaking up and down.
Course I didn't know these things were stims at the time. I still pick my nose, don't know I am doing it half the time.
I love the swings. Today went to swings they were occupied 😢❤😊
We’ve got a lot of the same/similar stims!! I feel so seen ✨
My advisor in graduate school, who didn't know I was autistic, would always throw an alligator clip across the desk when I came in. He knew I was a fidgeter. Luckily, I didn't feel at all self-conscious about playing with the thing. Leg shaking is my main stim. I don't even try to control it--and never have. Yes, it makes me look nervous, but so what? I AM nervous.
I always get horrified when I see footage of my "idle" self because of all the "mouth stuff" and other supposedly discreet stuff I do that turns out to be visible.
In that way facemasks felt like a blessing and I still feel safer wearing them just because I don't have to watch my lower face movements so much.
So I confess that I did laugh a bit at Dana's moments of horrified realization and subsequent panic, but like, with empathy. Sorry.
I loooove being able to lip sync to songs under my mask in public, though now I’m wondering how obvious that is too 😂
I've been biting my cheeks since I was a toddler lol. It's my favorite stim as well. I've tried quitting here and there but the anxiety puts me right back.
I do so many weird mouth stims, too. I touch the insides of my teeth with my tongue and go from side to side, especially on my lower teeth because I have a retainer there which feels extra nice, I curl my tongue all the way back and suck the air from the front part of my mouth, I put my tongue between my lips, close my lips really tightly, and move my tongue from side to side, or I'll just have it stick out at the top and go up and down with the tip. I especially started to do the latter two things since I started to go out masked (the covid kind of masked) all the time and people couldn't see it. I also do a lot of rocking back and forth when I'm sitting, or getting up on my toes and back down or just move my weight from foot to foot when I'm standing, or wiggle my legs when I'm lying down. When I'm out in public and need a way to stim that people will hopefully not notice, I rub my thumb and index finger against each other or make a fist and repeatedly push my nails into my palm - not so much that it hurts, but that I can concentrate on the sensation -, and when I'm in noisy places, I sometimes hum in a very deep sound, which has the added benefit of calming down my breath. And recently I learned that I was apparently able to imitate my school's fire alarm bell when I was a teenager and that I sometimes confused both classmates and teachers by doing it while we were waiting to be allowed back in, and I think that's quite hilarious.
I hum in noisy places as well.
In high school I had trichotillomania---when I was particularly anxious or uncomfortable I would sort of cross my arms and pick at my arm hairs. I was already self-conscious about it but I didn't think it was that noticeable until a guy a few grades up from me came over to me and started copying what I was doing. It was so horrible and I felt so tiny and childish, and I don't know if I've done it since. I hate the way I react in those situations. I was so anxious and I didn't even know why, and he apparently just couldn't resist. He wasn't trying to be mean, I think, just trying to be funny, which is worse sometimes.
I don't think you should excuse him for doing it just because you think he meant to be funny. Making fun of someone's behaviors is only funny to unempathetic people. There's absolutely _no_ way it's _not_ going to make the person feel bad.
On the bright side, trichotillomania can lead to some _really_ bad outcomes, so it might be for the best that you got discouraged. I'm just upset about the method he used. 😕
I loved swings but have rarely been on them as an adult because too many people see them as just for kids - swings should be for everyone! Perhaps I've tried to replicate the feeling by swinging / rocking back on chairs - not as big a movement but more discreet and easier to do as an adult. Unfortunately I have broken some chairs as a result and I don't have I can swing on right now.
I love sour stuff! I scratch my jeans. I play with zippers. The tongue stims. Jeez, I didn't realize that I was doing so many stims!
I bite my lower lip and I shake my lower leg (the stereotypical ADHD stim). People used to ask me if I was nervous a lot. Some creepy guys asked me if they were making me nervous. I was like "No, I am always like this!"
I'm 56 and I still chew on my cheeks almost every day, along with a bunch of other "weird" stims that I'm slightly embarrassed about.
My swing is covered in snow. 😢
That old man is probably dead by now. Don't let a ghost keep you from doing what you want to do!
I related so much with your salt&vinegar crisps stim, I have the same thing with coke or sparkling water, I need them bubbles in my mouth hahaha, it feels so good hahaha ✨
Thanks as always for raising awareness; my main one is compulsive tongue-biting :(
It's so weird that it feels good, isn't it?
@@Felice_Enellen Almost an enigma; it's a satisfying nightmare 😆
@@ckblackwoodmusic I'm just telling myself I'm giving my tongue a deep massage, and that makes it make more sense. 🙂
Thx for the upload!!!
Thanks for watching! 💕
Here's something really important to know and internalize about humanity: For whatever reasons, our evolution led to certain specialized _genetic_ roles in tribes, like roles in a beehive or an anthill, that persist to this day. For instance, we the auties were probably the shamans, oracles, medicine doctors, or even the (oral) historians, because we were psychologically well suited to it, but not necessarily to hunting or farming. Insomniacs were the night watch. The super empathetic nurturing types were the ones herding, monitoring and teaching the kids. The sturdy methodical people were the farmers. And the people who were best at being ruthless predators were the tribe's hunters.
That last group of people, the predators/hunters, are today most likely the ones we identify as having anti-social personality disorders like sociopathy and psychopathy. They instinctively want to dominate and kill animals even as children, often in terrible ways. They have no scruples and they tend to be aggressive, cruel, and sometimes even violent, though some do have the sense to realize they're just creating problems (for themselves) and will (usually) rein themselves in for pragmatic reasons (not empathetic ones), maybe landing them a job as a ruthless CEO instead of a ruthless hunter.
Statistically, this group makes up about 5% of the population, 4% as sociopaths and 1% as psychopaths. That's 1 in 20 people who have pretty much no moral compass. This totally explains why _every_ classroom has its own bully, if not two, and why it's so common to run into someone whose behavior makes no sense to a person who assumes all humans are capable of empathetic reactions and behavior if only they are sat down and talked to long enough. Alas, no, this doesn't work with them.
So when you see something horrible happen, or it happens to you, just assume that's why. It's not really about you or the other victims, there's no good explanation, there's really no fixing them or the problems they create, and all you can do is learn to recognize them and _stay away from them_ as much as possible, or at least extricate yourself from situations where you find them. But never spend energy and emotion on wondering "why?!?", because it's not a mental exercise that'll ever bear fruit. "Why?" is simply because it's something fun and exciting for them, foreign as that might be to an empathetic mind.
There's some fascinating, and Imo yeah, I'd agree, totally factful studies on this. How the modern world kind of compresses us all into a homogeny without giving space for our evolutionary niches to thrive. I try to keep conscious about this when struggling with NTs and the invariable conflict with that. It is a shame they aren't coming to us to rid them of spirits and ill fortune anymore though. Instead opting to make us a pseudo-prey lol.
ive given up on eye contact. its not worth it.
100%, there’s no point to it and i don’t see why I should make myself uncomfortable to make someone else more comfortable, especially when we could just not make eye contact and both be a low level of comfortable 😂
I fake it--by looking just above the bridge of their nose. If the conversation requires concentration to understand what is being said, I don't even look at the person, but look to the side, just past their face. I don't really care if that seems weird. Anyway, no one has ever complained about it.
What I do is that I make very brief eye contact whenever I _start_ talking, and again when I stop and _they_ start talking. I might occasionally also flick my eyeline towards theirs if they've been talking a while. I haven't had anyone complain that I'm talking to the person over their shoulder, or the wall, since I found this trick, and it's fairly painless because it never lasts long enough to make me anxious.
The other thing that I think helps is to let your mind wander just a tiny bit and look around the room when you're not looking at them, rather than staring at a spot on the wall or floor. It can be interesting to look at all of the details of things around you, like wood grain or reflections or plants or whatever else you like looking at, so it's not a burden at all. I think it makes me seem more engaged with the situation and less distant or aloof. Personally I find it feels fairly natural; maybe it's a touch of AD(H)D, I dunno.
Anyway, as long as you're verbally or visible engaged with the conversation in other ways, like mhm'ing or nodding or tilting your head quizzically or whatever suits the situation, I think most people can look past your looking past them. 🙂
when i was a kid and teen i would get sour candies and didn't realize it was a stim. (was diagnosed at 36). idk if you have pop rocks in the uk, but it's a sizzling candy and i used to like that. (i can't stand them now).
damn that's interesting about sour things, I do really like a lime and soda and I'm thinking now it's mostly to do with the sensation
I drink quite a lot of Pepsi max and it’s like 90% for the bubbles!
@@DanaAndersen I gave up soda for dietary reasons and I really miss the fizz. Sometimes I'll grab sprite zero just to have the experience. I don't really care about the sprite flavor, I just like the fizz. It's too bad I don't like the flavor of sparkling water.
As far as sour candy Toxic Waste is the most sour terrible amazing sour candy ever. It's off the charts sour then it is sweet
I guarantee nobody notices your knee claw-hand stim. I do a lot of similar stims with my hands, and after *over-asking* the people around me about it, it's clear to me that nobody really notices, nor do they care. I say my name three times often as well- nobody reacts. Sometimes friends even repeat it with me. All that to say, I'm learning that stimming is okay and good people don't give a shit, lol.
A lot of this I can relate to, especially the parts where you’re like, “I don’t do this…” or “this isn’t noticeable” and then you’re like “oh fk” xD that’s been me on my journey of self discovery with autism lmao
Omg salt and vinegar chips! You’re right! That’s why I used to like them! I don’t really like the flavor it’s the … thing that happens that I like sometimes! I didn’t know that was a stim hahaha they’ve changed the brand I always ate growing up in the US- they’re not nearly as punchy as they were before so it doesn’t really work anymore, which is sad.
Thanks for sharing!! ^_^
That’s the only food I can think of that as soon as someone mentions it I actually begin to salivate. My brain instantly says YES PLEASE! xD
Try the health food store. Theirs are often more sour.
Ooh!!! Thanks so much!!
@@DJwarthog You might have to try a couple of brands though.
I have done a lot of audio stems but eventually the music loses its meaning and then it pauses a little while but then I get back to it eventually
I used to love the swing I'm not sure if rocking would have the same effect it is different motion I need to get a rocking chair and find out you can get blow up once that are cheap but can't see them being very smooth
I’m 45 next week and been bald for 20 years but still tuck my “hair” behind my ears when I’m stressed.
There’s no hair there!
Used to be bright green and down to my waist. 😂😂
Thanks for sharing. Some useful insights and realisations here.
@@ascgazz Touching hair, even non-existent hair sounds like a stim.
I do my neck sometimes I tap the back of my phone with my second finger next to the thumb I've done head shaking but I got total by the teacher I have also done finger sucking lol
Hi! I’m pretty new to discovering stims and trying to let myself unmask,, can you please show more subtle stims or anything that you use in public for your autism!
I’m sorry that man mocked you for your cheek chewing stim. Similar things have happened to Mae, and it always leaves me feeling so small and like, well, can’t ever do that again now, can I?!
I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and have really enjoyed them! I’m curious, your video where you talked about sort of trying to convince yourself you aren’t autistic, how did you deal with those thoughts? I’ve been awaiting a diagnosis myself and being trans whose AFAB, I’ve been having thoughts of what if I’m not autistic(not that it’s a good or bad thing obviously), what if I’m wasting professionals time?
Most autistic people have those thoughts. What helps me is to think back to the most autistic things I have done especially in childhood.
Ever got jury service that you had to prove your asd to get out of
I am an expert at getting out of jury duty. When the defense and prosecuting attorneys ask questions of me, I give extremist answers they will hate: "Do you think the police would lie about the speed someone was going?" "Are you kidding, the police are the biggest liars around!" The judge usually knows what I'm doing, but it always works, and is sort of fun.
@@steveneardley7541 lol
@@steveneardley7541 Yeah, even if the judge/lawyers know what you're doing, you'll still become a weird unknown to them, and the whole point of _voir dire_ is to get rid of weird unknowns that might mess up a verdict.
I'm semi lucky being a permanent resident and not a citizen in that I don't qualify for jury duty. What sucks is that I would actually _like_ to do it. I think it's my duty to society and a chance to serve justice. But I just am NOT suited to the task.
I don't work so I felt good doing jury duty. Like I was doing something useful. But I am strange.
I twist my Toung and run it along my teeth😁
I quite like to lick my new dental crown , the surface is amazing 😋. I hope it does not sound weird 😳
Crowns are great! So smoooooth. 😀