We got married in a public park, on a Wednesday, with only about 15 people (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews). Then just went to a simple restaurant after. Cost about $1000 and I wouldn't change a thing. I couldn't imagine spending a ton of money. We just wanted to be married! Coming up on 9 years ❤
honestly that's what my ex and i wanted for our first wedding, but parents and family got involved. hopefully my next wedding, whenever that will be, will much small and simple.
I attended a wedding once, that was in the backyard of the couples house. They had put up a tent, rented a slush ice machine (this was in the middle of july, and total summer weather), invited the priest to their home and had the ceremony there, and the rented a hotdog truck that served everyone hotdogs for the rest of the day. It was awesome.
Invited the priest and had the ceremony there? You cannot do that as a Catholic. Holy Matrimony is a Sacrament and is to be done in God's House the Church. I love everything else though about the backyard celebration.
Bro, hot dogs?! I went to a friend's wedding last month, and I had to google part of every dinner option because they were so fancy. The food was great, but I was like, "Man, I honestly just want hot dogs at my wedding. I know what they are and I like them."
@@Bonsqueesquee Totally agree for most cases, the bride just wanna be queen And forgets that the point of a wedding is all about the couple, celebrating as a couple.
One of the best decisions my husband and I made was having some old ladies at our church plan our wedding. We sat down with them once, gave them an idea of what we wanted, told them to keep costs low. Then let them have fun so we didn't have to stress. We got to make sure we had the meaningful moments we wanted without having to worry about overwhelming details like decor. Getting married at our church was free, we just paid the people individually who provided services. About $250 total. The way they did food was a bunch of the ladies got together and cooked something in the church kitchen for us. The leftovers were used for the churches luncheon the next week, charging us only the cost of what was consumed. If you know midwestern church lady cooking, you know how yummy it was. We supplied them with a couple of bottles of wine to enjoy while cooking :) I bought my dress online second hand and it was gorgeous. Neither of us like dancing and didn't want our memories clouded by alcohol, which also cut down costs. I had a friend who's like a second mom take pictures and she wouldn't accept a penny for that and she even made a photo album and video for us. My mom baked cupcakes and even without a ton of frosting experience, you can make them look cute. All in all, we paid roughly 1k for our wedding in 2021. Oh yeah and we were only engaged for 3 months.
The pandemic saved us. We were only allowed 10 guests. We spent $500-$700 and have no desire to redo our wedding now. It was brilliant. No stress no real planning and done! Been married for 4 years now.
we did the same. We took advantage of pandemic so we can get married with my wife and best decision ever! It saved us from all the stress of preparations and gathering all our families together since we lived from differnt parts of the country. Cost us about less than $200 for everything and wouldn't want to redo it especially with the economy now and we just had our 1st baby.
For power hungry governments to tell you you could only have ten people at your wedding is so wrong. Not saying you should have had more but that’s a sucky reason
the best part of our wedding day was the drive home to our new apartment and getting to lay down in bed next to each other and go to sleep! weddings are overrated. marriage is underrated.
I asked my church to prepare fancy finger food. They wanted to help, so I gave them something to do. I don't have stuck up family or friends, so it never occurred to me to worry what people thought. That was 23 years ago, but the weddings people were doing was more than we could afford even then, and I've never regretted it.
I have the answer: delete your social media account. You will live without it I promise. You may also find yourself healthier and happier for it. Go out and visit a friend, go to church, take a real, phone free hike. And please, for your own sake, have a social media free wedding and marriage.
This. I mean, I still like Facebook to stay connected to things happening locally, but I don’t follow everyone I went to school with anymore. And obviously RUclips but for videos like this.
Just made me more pissed off and miserable. I'm still with Bae 13+ years and not married with 4 children while they're all 30 getting married and doing it "the right way" and not inviting me. So... gonna be a snob and not watch, not entertain their "special" moments and focus on making my own more meaningful.
100% agreed💯 I blame social media for all this. People are romanticizing unrealistic standards and if they are not met, they spend their time and even their wedding day being upset about it, it's ridiculous. social media is the reason for all this comparison of who did better and showoff.
I was going to jump in and say "well they were planning on a direct invasion since 1942 with operation Sledgehammer"... Oh wait, that was still only 2 years!!
My husband and I got married during the 2008 recession. We said no to the wedding industry and had a courthouse wedding with our immediate family and closest friends. My side of the family wasn't happy and accused 18 year old me of being pregnant the entire time. 😂 We weren't having a shotgun wedding, we were just best friends and knew we wanted to be together forever. I have zero regrets. We just celebrated 16 years together last month. The wedding, itself, isn't the important part. It's the commitment to one another that matters.
My husband and I got married in 2008 too!! Kept it simple, just 70 guests, my aunt made my dress, just baby's breath and grapes for decorations, rented a very pretty park/villa for 200 euros: it was beautiful!! Everyone at my wedding too thought I was crazy because I was 21 😂 Celebrating our 16th anniversary on Columbus Day, 3 kids and going strong!!
2008 bride here too. But the recession did not hit Canada so hard at the time. We ended up with the big, white wedding even though I didn't really care either way. My mom and dad (well, my mom) had a blast planning everything and I just went along. It WAS fun. I know we're putting those down now and it was popular putting them down then too. I didn't want one but having had it....yeah, I had a great time. My mom was so worried her brothers would trash her for "being cheap" and I knew that was not an unfounded fear so I let her do what she wanted to make things easier for her. I knew I wanted to get married in the church I grew up in. That part was important.
I got married in the front yard of my dads business😅 Costco cake and flowers, dress online ($80), catered from a local restaurant that ended up being about $12/plate, and we just got snacks for before. We also had friends be our bar tenders and everyone said it was the funnest wedding they ever went to. Not many weddings also have a mechanical bull and archery tag😂
My cousins got married in her family's horse barn. My other cousins got married at their church. You don't have to go insane with the planning and location. Our fam runs a greenhouse, I'll just be getting my flowers from there.
I might be in the minority but here is what I think. That big fancy wedding is for the guests, not the "happy" couple. Elope, go to the Courthouse, or, here in Kentucky we can get married by a Magistrate, in Florida a Notary can perform weddings. Do one of those. Have a family member or friend take photos. Then once you are married have a get together for family and close friends. Heck, make it a cookout, do something fun that everyone will enjoy. Stop going into debt just getting married. Save the money for a down payment on a house or save it for the future.
We had a beautiful wedding in the Catholic Church I grew up in this past spring. My parents were married there. I received all my sacraments there now including Holy Matrimony. My grandparents attended the same church and both of their funerals took place there. Very special.
My husband gave just about everyone who touched my sons wedding a check or a check with thank you gifts i hand made. Our donations went to support the poor and help turn a motel into family housing with a playground. Beats paying a wedding venue hands down.
Deleted FB, IG, X, BeReal and all the other crap. Restricted YT to subscribed channels only. Now I don't see constant targeted ads and content. Life has been much peaceful without social media.
@@Javail-Haltom basically I switched off my watch history. So it shows no videos in my YT homepage. When I want to watch, I go to my subscribed channels section
We did the same but fewer people because of covid. Honestly it would have been cheaper without covid because my church venue canceled and I had to find a new one that was more expensive. It ended up nice though!
Oh, I will say one thing. The good thing about weddings being stressful is that you get to see how the other handles stress along with the in-laws. This is good because stressful things will happen in life, not all the time, but it will and it's good to have a glimpse before getting married. Just remember though, no one is perfect.
Why on earth would a colleague walk her down the aisle when she has always dreamed that her big brother would do that? I honestly don't understand this question or the people who asked it.
I paid $89 to the county superior court to marry my husband, and that was all. We put our money into starting our life together. We want to have a reception once we hit 10 years when we renew our vows. No two weddings are alike and that's okay.
@@snappy_gilmore love your idea! My husband and I are planning something similar at 10 years. Only 4 years away now…probably should start thinking of saving for it lol
That seems to be a popular option. Less stress and very easy to do. At the 10 year anniversary, it's just a party at that point anyways. The wedding part is primarily for the couple, promising themselves to the other. And everything else is for everyone else.
My husband and I decided that we would not put on a big show for everyone and eloped to Las Vegas. It was I love you, you love me lets just do this and get on with our lives together. We were married for 20 years until he passed.
Weddings and receptions are a waste of money. Think simple, focus on your new spouse instead of yourself. Weddings reveal how self centered brides and grooms can be.
No, not necessarily. Wedding ceremony and "receptions" or celebrating is as old as marriage itself. It outdates legal marriage, and was the epitome of officiating marriage for the majority of the people until very very recent history. It is a way for everyone to celebrate an important life change, the uniting of two souls forever as one, the uniting of two families into one, in front of and with the families and loved ones and communities, incorporating the religious and spiritual beliefs as well. And after, the loved ones would celebrate together, and this differed depending on the region and part of the world and time period, but across all regions there was a celebration after, sometimes for WEEKS, to support and celebrate such an amazing and permanent change, the start of a new family and the binding of 2 forever. We as humans have Ceremonialized and celebrated important moments and changes since before it could even be documented in writing. Hell, we even celebrated good harvests every year! We celebrated children becoming adults, we celebrated people becoming parents, men becoming warriors, and so on. It's a part of human nature and a way that we express and share and revel in our important and life changing moments socially, sharing these moments with our loved ones via fun, happy memories and ceremonies signifying the start of something new and good. I believe what YOURE referring to, is specifically the materialistic approach some take to weddings, not wedding ceremonies and receptions as a whole. There has never been anything wrong with ceremony and reception, as it has been around since the dawn of marriage itself, and is an inherent part of beginning a marriage and has been for nearly everyone for all of marital history. The issue is a separate one all together, and is rather one of putting on a show to impress others and show off, to try to one up the next person, to fit into an aesthetic, and present yourself a certain way, to see a wedding ceremony as a social stepping stone rather than a ceremony and party celebrating a lifelong bond between a couple and a families, and the start of a new family all together.
Wedding can be simple but you need great food. An BBQ is where it's at. Lite the smoker and low and slow beef brisket and beef ribs. Make coleslaw, potatoe salad, have fresh fruit, and serve strawberry shortcake. Basically make sure all the food is an ten and you pick an time an place that's not hot or full of mosquitoes. Get married in the morning and have an fun lunch reception. Have it outside with a few activities for people to do and an area for the kids to run-around blowing bubbles. Have hay rides or something. Don't serve alcohol just tea, juice and lemonade. And if there's a body of water nearby it better be somewhere where people can fish. Be a wonderful day outside for everyone.
Lol. I asked my husband whether our fairly expensive wedding was a reflection of my selfishness, and he about bit my head off, because his family enjoyed it so much.
Weddings are overrated & super over priced. My parents got married 40 years ago & they got married with immediate family at the courthouse then had a dinner after at a nice nearby restaurant. Done. And it lasted 40+ years! My brother did a 3 hour cocktail hour with drinks & apps at a local garden & house you can rent out with the ceremony before with just family. It still cost them nearly $10,000!! It’s ridiculous. Why pay all that money for one afternoon?! Wasteful & it’s so people can show off. The dresses are sooo expensive. My Mom wore a white mohair cocktail dress from Nordstrom. Found out she’s allergic to mohair.😂
Ya the number one thing that causes divorces is financial troubles. Over spending on the wedding starts your marriage literally on divorce potential grounds.
Wow, members of my church are so lucky! We tend to get married quickly after getting engaged, like, within 4 months. Why wait once you've committed? We get married in our temples, for free, with a maximum of 20-30 people in attendance. Then people typically have receptions in our church's gyms (decorated, to be sure, but still free as far as the location is concerned). Some people, like myself, rent a reception hall, but that's also much less than the price tags quoted here! We marry for the covenant we're making with our spouse and God, more than for the show. And thank Heaven we do, apparently! Side note: I heard once that the more expensive the wedding and reception, the less likely a couple is to stay together long-term. I'm unsure as to the veracity of that statement, but it's an interesting thing I've not been able to forget ever since hearing it.
I’m also LDS, and coming up to an age to be married soon. And I am literally so excited that my future wedding won’t be so expensive since we have such beautiful temples. And it’s so easy to make the church gyms look stunning! You are so right about this!
Memeber here! 👋 My Dad had a guy literally teach a lesson about how cost-effective it is to be married in the temple compared to the world. I have always loved the image 😂😂 Best part, my dad was on his mission!
Fellow Latter Day Saint and I feel the same way about the options we have for weddings. Our budget was $1500 for dresses, food, flowers, decorations, all of it 18 years ago. I’m Polynesian so most of the budget was to provide a feast for about 100 people. Most of the rest of the details were done on the cheap or from generous people who let us borrow things or gifted us stuff. I’m so grateful! We focused on the marriage covenant for that special day and then a fun, but low key party to celebrate with our family and friends. We planned it in 3 months too. It is possible! Simple is better. ❤️
Brett is just spitting facts out here!!! About a month into planning my wedding, I realized not only was the cost of everything literally insane and unaffordable for me and my now husband, but also the focus was no longer on us and our life together, but about this big party. Therefore, I decided I wanted a small, intimate wedding. When I told my now husband this, he said he felt a wave of relief and we agreed this was what we really wanted. We had a beautiful and intimate ceremony at our church and a stunning reception with our closest friends and family (20 people) at a local restaurant. To this day, we have no regrets and we only spent a FRACTION of what we would have had we planned the big elaborate wedding. And the best part was that I got to spend the whole wedding planning process just excited to be married to the love of my life and not stressed and angry all the time from planning. ❤️
I love reading this. I'm glad to see some people using common sense. I never wanted a big wedding myself, even as a youngster when other girls were looking at bridal magazines I knew that wasn't for me. It never made sense to me to spend so much money on a big party for everyone else. Whenever I went to big wedding receptions it never really seemed like the bride & groom were actually enjoying themselves. I wanted to enjoy my wedding day.
My wife and I had a 100 guest wedding, planned in 9mo, for less than $25k in the middle of 2020. We had a great planning experience, fantastic time, and happy guests. It’s possible
Most people could never afford a wedding that expensive! (25k) I went into debt planning my wedding that was around 9k and regret it! If I could go back, I would forget the wedding and Elope. I would make it about only me and my husband and not about throwing our family and friends a party.
Me and my Fiancée are currently planning our wedding, with also around 100 guests, and we’re at around 25k. Thankfully we’re not in debt, but it is tiring and very stressful. Getting married May 30th next year, and we’re already feeling quite burnt out. That cost was the minimum of what we were looking for sadly. We’re both working jobs and doing school. It’s quite a handful
That sounds exactly like my best friends wedding! There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen other than the MOH (me) and the best man. I threw a bridal shower for her, but she didn’t want an engagement or bachelorette party. Her parents made ALL the food (including the cake) for the wedding and rehearsal dinner, and we did all the floral arrangements and decorations. There were maybe 75 people at the wedding, and it was truly a perfect day.
My husband and I spent next to nothing on our wedding. Free venue in a local paddock overlooking the sea, local hall for reception for couple hundred. In-laws provided sheep for a spit roast, we had guests bring salads and desserts. We had lots of friends and friends of friends ask to help in the kitchen and set up. Day before we raided the country for wild flowers. We had soo many flowers and paid nothing! A friend of mine made all the wine, and my dress cost 50 which I embellished with hand embroidery. And a cousin and my sister did the photography. It was a very beautiful happy wedding. We even had a live band for dancing. I think one of the big things we lack these days is family and community. Every one loves to help out at a wedding and the more family you have the more likely you are to have resources and talent on hand.
THIS! honestly, those are the best wedding experiences because everyone being involved in the prep bonds all the family members much more than just showing up.
Yes to the community aspect! These days a wedding is more like a show with an audience than a loving community effort. With ours we had family camping on-site for days prior and helping with prep. It was a ridiculous amount of fun and bonding time for everyone and the 'big event' really just felt like the grand finale of everyone's love and support. It brought not just my husband and I, but our families together in a real and lasting way.
We planned our wedding in 3 months. We got engaged on Tuesday and by Saturday we had 1. My dress .2 Our bridal party 3. Our ceremony venue 4. Our reception venue 5. Our officiant 6. Our rings. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out
I got married in my backyard greenhouse (which we built ourselves from locally sourced/thrown out supplies) with about 15 guests. I spent under $4,000 with many thrifted items and I live in CA. It was so much more intimate and beautiful this way.
My husband and I eloped about 3 months before my baby brother got married. I said something to him about eloping vs wedding and his partner had told him that if he wanted to elope, he could do it with someone else cause she wouldn't be hidden away like that. At the end of their reception, I asked how they were doing and they both wished they had eloped 😂😂
My cousin eloped with her hubby right after college and are still happy together with two handsome boys almost 2 decades later. her parents were strongly against her marrying interracially but have since reconciled after the grandkids were born.
@@ChelseaMilton yah, it's typically what happens. asian families can be really prejudiced against interracial relationships, but then reconcile once the grandchildren are born.
My mother told me that weddings and building a home and picking out colors are the same, both are done for everyone else’s opinion but the person/s it’s actually for.
@@HigumaHoney huh? interesting. the ceremony where you celebrate the union of you and your spouse isn't about you, but rather about your parents, who may not be alive/active in your life. that's quite an interesting opinion
My husband and I got married 12 days after we got engaged. In our church (free) with our pastor, my dad walked me down the aisle. Family and friends got to watch via Zoom. Our photographer (friend) was the most expensive thing at $500. We “honeymooned” a couple hours away for a long weekend immediately after. I would do it 100 times over again. No regrets.
I love this. My engagement was nearly 4 months and that felt incredibly long, we were so eager to be together. If it's right, why waste the time? Life is short!
Brett's wedding reminds me of that one scene from Father of the Bride where George imagines his daughter having a BBQ wedding and everyone gets so offended that he would even consider something like that. 😂
God loves you and you don't have to "become better" to go to God, we go to him to become better, and because we are lost without him, and also because He wants us to❤
That's the root of why there are wedding celebrations. Back in the day, they'd throw huge wedding parties because the attendees would essentially be proof of the marriage. They didn't have marriage certificates back then. It's also the reason that Jesus turning water into wine, to keep the party raging, was considered a miracle.
I bought a white prom dress to use as my wedding dress,my mom made the wedding cake/flower arrangements/and dinner (with help of the ladies from her church.. We had maybe 15 people there at mom's church the day of our wedding, It was small and turned out great. My husband and I just celebrated 41 years ! So NO you DON'T need big ,huge weddings,It should be all about you and your husbands union.
Crazzzzzyyy that Brett makes a video about this as I’ve been engaged for barely over a month and have had a few breakdowns because of wedding planning and how crappy the industry is. As my fiancée would say, it feels like cancer. 🙃 I’m thrilled to be engaged, but the costs are absurd.
maybe plan a destination wedding overseas where the venues and catering are much cheaper, and you can limit your guest list because people have to rsvp and pay for their own plane tickets and accommodation. i think only your real family and real friends would bother to attend.
@@HigumaHoney Unfortunately our families and friends would not be able to handle the cost of that. We would rather have the people we love surround us than make it harder for them to come. Thank you though!
@@HigumaHoneyI have been looking into international wedding to save on the cost but sadly, it is the same if not more expensive than getting married here. At this point I am lost and I just want to elope
My husband and I got married in mid April of 1988. I wanted to go to the courthouse. We got married in hisbparents living room. Yhe cost ...$100 YEP!! That was of the homemade cake that my MIL made. I got married in an old dtess that wasnt a wedding dress. My husband wore his older brother's prom suit (not actux ) My husband's uncle was a preacher and married us. I thought it was too big. There were a total of 10 people. Weddings can be small and enjoyable.
Thank you my bf and I decided to elope because we are trying to run 2 businesses, home-school, and save money so our kids can play hockey. All of our friends have spent upwards of 100- 200k on weddings, they went into massive debt and so many people have guilted us but honestly we are firm in our decision.
that's insane.... i'd say, but i know people who've probably spent that much or more. my first wedding was probably around 12k.... but parents wanted a round 2, and we had another wedding in southeast asia where all our relatives could attend. ------ but one of my formerly good friends had a really big wedding, the 200k kind. her wedding was destination malaysia and was a traditional wedding that lasted several days, including the groom going to the bride's home to pick her up in a palanquin, then parading her and the dowry gifts around their hometown for a whole day, a tea ceremony, wedding ritual and wedding reception. i said formerly good friend, because she bragged to too many friends and family that i was flying in to malaysia from the usa, but i got laid off that year and couldn't make it due to financial reasons.
My wedding is coming up. Well, not a wedding. It’s just my fiancé and I going to Colorado to officiate our own wedding and exchange vows in the mountains. No one other than us two and God.
My husband and I got married in our first apartment. His parents, mine, and our siblings. Been happily married for 11 years. No regrets I honestly would’ve gotten eloped as well 😅
Currently planning my wedding and def realizing all the unnecessary costs 😂 like just the paper alone, I’m only doing wedding invitations but the knot is trying to advertise 1) save the dates 2) wedding invites 3) RSVPs 4) wedding info cards 5) bridal shower invites 6) thank you cards Like what 😂 no, I’m doing invites and then the rest will be on our website or done in person. And let’s not forget the “budget venues” that cost $2500 BUT if you want the decor and everything else that makes the setting pretty to be included then it’s an extra $3800 🤣
I was just talking to my husband the other day about how cheap our wedding was (1995). We threw it together in 2 months and I sent out fill in the blank wedding invitations 😂😂 I think it cost under $10.
Put all that money into savings for a home, which will provide even greater memories down the line than an extravagant wedding. A wedding is just one day; a home is forever.
No shame in wanting a smaller intimate wedding. I'm in my late 30s and have bever been married. I absolutely want the larger more fancy wedding. Just the immediate family on my side would be almost 80 people, over 95% I know would be coming, so planning to do a 150 guest list as long as my future husband doesn’t have a huge family. I'm guessing we'll be spending around $30k. Since I know I want a nicer wedding, I have a wedding fund I put toward monthly as part of my savings. Still looking for Mr. right.
My husband and I did the same thing. We did a lot of things on our own and had our friends and family help. We splurged on a band. It was beautiful and a medium sized wedding but full of love and lots of fun. Not that expensive but we made it ours. And totally agree…STAY AWAY FROM TRADITIONAL WEDDING VENDORS. 😂 I swear the word wedding makes the price triple!!!
Thank God that my fiancé and I can afford a decent wedding party without going to debt. But honestly the listening of everyone’s opinions have been the biggest stressors for both of us. We only want to join our lives and start a life together, but it’s crazy how many social expectations are placed on us just because we are getting married, and how many people don’t realize that organizing a big wedding party takes a lot of resources that some couples cannot afford and unfortunately trying to impress everyone can ultimately lead to an unhappy marriage.
So many churches have low cost rental for their chapel and reception space and many have decor included. Outdoor weddings, at least in the beautiful pnw where I live, can be so beautiful and low cost. If you are planning your wedding around what "everyone else is doing", keep in mind what everyone else is NOT doing and that is paying your bill for your wedding. Your wedding day should be memorable, but going into debt for a 1 day event is just wild.
I am planning my wedding and I am absolutely miserable and I cannot wait for it to be finished. I am tired of pretending that I’m enjoying all these moving pieces and pressure and I just want to be married already. My fiance is already so burnt out and it’s making me sad. I feel like I sound ungrateful but even though it’s supposed to be fun, it’s such a huge financial burden and makes you so self conscious about what people will think of you…why wouldn’t you hate it
Best wishes on your wedding and upcoming marriage! Wedding planning is very stressful because you’re trying to think of everything that will make others happy. If you’re over burdened, it’s okay to scale back. Make sure your wedding is within your means and is what you’re comfortable with. It’s the most important day of your life! If you’re worried what someone might think, then maybe they shouldn’t be part of something so special. I’m sure your wedding will work out the way it’s supposed to. 😊
Scale your wedding back. Pitch a tent in a friend or family back yard or rent a home with a nice back yard. Do any family members cook? Professional catering isn’t necessary.
That was me. It sucks. I believe weddings are meant to include the support system that is going to be there throughout the new marriage. But it’s really hard when those guests probably won’t be much support and have high expectations that just can’t always be avoided. If you need advice on what I wish I’d done instead in hindsight, let me know.
Best piece of advice I ever heard “do you want the wedding day or the marriage?” A lotttttt of ladies need to ask themselves this when discerning being together with their boyfriend FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!!!! 😮💨😪
We got married on the lawn at church. 50 people in attendance. Made all the food, did all the flowers, set up/tear down. Biggest splurge was a photog for $1,200. Only $2,200 for the WHOLE wedding total.
Why do people simply assume they will get married? That's always been bizarre to me, especially when it's been since childhood. You're already assuming that you're so beautiful (because it's usually women who have this dream) and have such an incredible personality that a man will want to spend every single day, for the the rest of his life, with you. It's just astounding to me that many people seem born with that level of confidence or that assumption!
@@Yesica1993as long as you're not just a miserable person, there is always someone out there who will love you and want to be with you. Marriage isn't just for perfect people, because perfect people don't exist
@@Yesica1993 mostly its because we're biologically wired to reproduce and we want a safe space and person to do it with, also because marriage is awesome and loving someone and prioritizing them for the rest of your life is a good purpose to choose. When I got married last year I knew there was nothing i did to "earn it" by being more beautiful or better than other women, just bc me and my husband share attraction and the same life plans.
Been engaged since December of last year. I have looked for wedding venues every day since then and have not been able to find a SINGLE venue that is affordable.
My sister rented the local VFW hall for $100 😂 though even that is more expensive now. My sisters & sister-in-law decorated with fairy lights, toulle and eucalyptus. Definitely put more stress on the family to get it looking nice, but we were happy to help.
I rented a VFW Hall and a chapel, which were cheaper than anything else. I still spent more than the other commenter because it was an expensive/rich area, but our wedding was probably $10k, and that's only bc my mother in law crazy overspent😂😂 We were initially planning on a $5k wedding (with the VFW hall for $900 and the chapel for $500) before my MIL took over the wedding planning and bought a bunch of shit we didn't need lmao
I want to start by saying that I genuinely enjoy your show and appreciate the insights you bring. However, I found your perspective in this particular video to be somewhat flawed. Having worked as a professional photographer in the industry for over 15 years, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing a wide range of wedding styles and experiences, and I feel compelled to share a different viewpoint. One crucial point to consider is that many couples don't have the same conveniences or opportunities that you, as a celebrity RUclipsr, naturally have access to. Your status means that people are often willing to offer their services for free or at a significant discount, simply for the chance to be associated with you. This reality can dramatically skew your experience and expectations, making it easier to advocate for more budget-friendly or simplistic approaches. However, these options may not translate well for the average couple, who would likely have to pay full price for these services, impacting their overall experience. Imagine, for a moment, if you were just an everyday couple without those celebrity perks-how would you feel about having your reception at a Golden Corral or a ceremony in a courthouse or an average backyard? The reality is, without the enhancements and conveniences that come with your status, you might find these suggestions far less appealing. That said, I do agree with the essence of your message-simplicity can be incredibly beautiful and romantic. My own wedding was small and intimate, and it was everything I had hoped for. However, I don’t think we should judge those who choose to go big and elaborate, especially if they have the means and a large group of loved ones they wish to include in the celebration. Marriage is a profound milestone, one that marks the beginning of a lifelong journey. It deserves to be celebrated in a way that feels right to the couple, whether that’s big or small, simple or grand. In the end, it’s about honoring the uniqueness of each couple’s vision for their special day. What works for one may not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay.
Coming from a mans perspective what is the point of your job at all? How is wedding photography still a thing when everyone has a phone with multiple cameras on it. Shell out 30 dollars for some stands and you have a multi camera photoshoot setup.
@@gaiuszeno1331not the person you’re responding to but there is a major quality difference in the quality of photos you get from a professional photographer vs. a bunch of amateurs taking random photos on their phones. Good photography may not be important to you, which is totally fine, but my fiancé and I wanted nice photos of us and the people we love celebrating the beginning of our marriage.
@@gaiuszeno1331 If you personally view iPhone photos as equally beautiful to a professional, then yeah just have people with iPhones. But the majority of people know that iPhone quality images do not typically translate to the same quality. Furthermore, trusting guests or anyone on iPhones is very risky. A photographer isn't just there to take photos (saying this as someone who does video as well, my husband and I do photo AND video full-time). We manage the timeline (especially with weddings that have no planner or coordinator), we help destress the bride, we run the couple around throughout the day, we bring snacks, we fluff the dress, we prep them for grand entrance, we make sure everyone is on time, we offer prints, we offer advice, we give gifts throughout the process. We're basically people handlers to ensure drama isn't crazy, to ensure that photos you want do in fact get taken and not forgotten because we're not guests who want to enjoy the day, we're professionals who know we HAVE to get all the photos. Also, iPhones are extremely limited in low-light conditions. If you want photos you can print or hang, then that's not something an iPhone can usually do adequately or well. Plus, as a bride myself in 2023, I wanted my guests to actually enjoy the day, trusting their ability to shoot successfully nonwithstanding. But hey that's just my two cents lol.
@gaiuszeno1331 that's the one thing that should be splurged on. Photos are forever. Those professionals photos are phenomenal compared to the bad candids aunt Linda took that couples literally regret-cry because there's no do-overs.
We thought it was ridiculous to spend a ton of money on ONE day! We were more concerned with the days after it. We had a small, cheap wedding (30 years ago) and spent our money on a down payment for a house to live in after the wedding. Most marriage issues are about money. Why start your marriage in debt. And studies show the more money people spend on a wedding the higher the chances are for divorce.
I've never understood spending a fortune on a 1 day event that no one but the couple and their very nearest relatives even care about. I'd much rather spend that money on my home or savings. Something that will increase in value and last more than a day.
Got married in a church at a cost about $6000 (including honeymoon) where the wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses were sewn and food - photography done by friends and family. Did the same for my 4:28 daughter as well for about the same cost. The higher the cost, greater chance for divorce.
We got married at the court house at about 10:45 pm a bail bondsman and the lady bailing someone out were our witnesses. We have been married for 21 years now. When you know you wanna spend the rest of your lives together you don’t need a big wedding , you just need each other.
Hi from BRAZIL! A weeding should be beautifull, but IN THE SENSE of beauty actually😉. Beauty of heart and soul and joy. Not beaut for the vanity. A wedding it's about being romantic and not Instagrammable, it's about being a moment of union, in which you are attentive to this, your vows! and not an event in which this union ends up happening... Marriage is for the husband and wife. I like the idea of having a very private wedding, with no expectations of social cameras, just cameras and no posting, and on another day you had a party. Weddings were small parties because they weren't a oficial party , they were an intimate union witnessed by really intimate people.
I planned the wedding my way and to my vision. I had supportive people who backed me. I love my wedding. The only things I would've changed is getting married earlier, we got married at 5:30-6pm. And the other thing was my dress, I love it but I was allergic to the fabric and was so done by the end of the night, I wish I would've had a dress to change into after the ceremony and dinner.I had a blast marrying my high school sweetheart and it was about us
We got married in a public park, on a Wednesday, with only about 15 people (parents, siblings, nieces and nephews). Then just went to a simple restaurant after. Cost about $1000 and I wouldn't change a thing. I couldn't imagine spending a ton of money. We just wanted to be married!
Coming up on 9 years ❤
This sounds so beautiful, praying for your lasting love.
I actually love that, having a small wedding plus I'm an introverted person. I think that I will had done the same thing.
honestly that's what my ex and i wanted for our first wedding, but parents and family got involved. hopefully my next wedding, whenever that will be, will much small and simple.
If I could go back, I would have gone this route. The number of people who attended my wedding that I don't even talk to is crazy.
Beautiful. I wish you happiness and strength for the hard times, hang on and always, trust each other and be honest.
I attended a wedding once, that was in the backyard of the couples house. They had put up a tent, rented a slush ice machine (this was in the middle of july, and total summer weather), invited the priest to their home and had the ceremony there, and the rented a hotdog truck that served everyone hotdogs for the rest of the day. It was awesome.
Invited the priest and had the ceremony there? You cannot do that as a Catholic. Holy Matrimony is a Sacrament and is to be done in God's House the Church. I love everything else though about the backyard celebration.
@@ashleyslack5960 well I guess not everyone has the same faith 🙃
Bro, hot dogs?! I went to a friend's wedding last month, and I had to google part of every dinner option because they were so fancy. The food was great, but I was like, "Man, I honestly just want hot dogs at my wedding. I know what they are and I like them."
@@ashleyslack5960 Every house should be Gods house
@@ashleyslack5960
Came to point out the same thing, but remembered the celebrant could have been an Episcopal or Anglican priest. Not Roman Catholic.
I think some women want a wedding more than they want a marriage.
a wedding is like a first birthday, it's the mark in life that's supposed to lead to happily ever after.
27 dresses yo
Easy, hold wedding themed and bachelorette's parties. They're fun.
I'm still replaying my spouse's mother's words "I loved my wedding, it was all about ME!" Well, she's divorced now.
@@Bonsqueesquee Totally agree for most cases, the bride just wanna be queen
And forgets that the point of a wedding is all about the couple,
celebrating as a couple.
One of the best decisions my husband and I made was having some old ladies at our church plan our wedding. We sat down with them once, gave them an idea of what we wanted, told them to keep costs low. Then let them have fun so we didn't have to stress. We got to make sure we had the meaningful moments we wanted without having to worry about overwhelming details like decor. Getting married at our church was free, we just paid the people individually who provided services. About $250 total. The way they did food was a bunch of the ladies got together and cooked something in the church kitchen for us. The leftovers were used for the churches luncheon the next week, charging us only the cost of what was consumed. If you know midwestern church lady cooking, you know how yummy it was. We supplied them with a couple of bottles of wine to enjoy while cooking :) I bought my dress online second hand and it was gorgeous. Neither of us like dancing and didn't want our memories clouded by alcohol, which also cut down costs. I had a friend who's like a second mom take pictures and she wouldn't accept a penny for that and she even made a photo album and video for us. My mom baked cupcakes and even without a ton of frosting experience, you can make them look cute. All in all, we paid roughly 1k for our wedding in 2021. Oh yeah and we were only engaged for 3 months.
I would love being one of those older women!
The pandemic saved us. We were only allowed 10 guests. We spent $500-$700 and have no desire to redo our wedding now. It was brilliant. No stress no real planning and done! Been married for 4 years now.
we did the same. We took advantage of pandemic so we can get married with my wife and best decision ever! It saved us from all the stress of preparations and gathering all our families together since we lived from differnt parts of the country. Cost us about less than $200 for everything and wouldn't want to redo it especially with the economy now and we just had our 1st baby.
You must love China a lot then.....
Everyone I know who had a quiet covid wedding (me included) loved it. The only sad part was my mom couldn’t make it
Same though we had most everybody we wanted at the ceremony, we just did a small family party at my in-laws afterword.
For power hungry governments to tell you you could only have ten people at your wedding is so wrong. Not saying you should have had more but that’s a sucky reason
the best part of our wedding day was the drive home to our new apartment and getting to lay down in bed next to each other and go to sleep!
weddings are overrated. marriage is underrated.
Got married in my back yard. And made a taco bar for the food. Only close family used covid as an excuse to limit the invites. Lol 10 10 2020
Nice! I wanted 8.8.2020 but it was too close to graduation
Married in a tiny chapel right before covid, reception at a bar/grill. I feel ya, tbh taco bar sounds amazing.
@@ontheraggedy I'd make the taco meat. Both my chicken and beef taco meat is f-in delicious. Well seasoned and hearty.
I got married on the same day!!! 😁
I asked my church to prepare fancy finger food. They wanted to help, so I gave them something to do. I don't have stuck up family or friends, so it never occurred to me to worry what people thought. That was 23 years ago, but the weddings people were doing was more than we could afford even then, and I've never regretted it.
We ran away to get married. My dad always said “why spend all that money for a party and get a $5 toaster?” I agree.
I have the answer: delete your social media account. You will live without it I promise. You may also find yourself healthier and happier for it. Go out and visit a friend, go to church, take a real, phone free hike. And please, for your own sake, have a social media free wedding and marriage.
The real answer right there. Seeing as how most of the complaints about expectations are centered around social media
This. I mean, I still like Facebook to stay connected to things happening locally, but I don’t follow everyone I went to school with anymore. And obviously RUclips but for videos like this.
Gotta have a phone on a hike in case of a serious emergency
Just made me more pissed off and miserable. I'm still with Bae 13+ years and not married with 4 children while they're all 30 getting married and doing it "the right way" and not inviting me. So... gonna be a snob and not watch, not entertain their "special" moments and focus on making my own more meaningful.
100% agreed💯 I blame social media for all this. People are romanticizing unrealistic standards and if they are not met, they spend their time and even their wedding day being upset about it, it's ridiculous. social media is the reason for all this comparison of who did better and showoff.
Two years to plan a wedding? It took less time to plan the D-day invasion of Normady. Your not liberating France ladies.
😂☠️
Spot on
The marriage will not last 2 years...
I was going to jump in and say "well they were planning on a direct invasion since 1942 with operation Sledgehammer"... Oh wait, that was still only 2 years!!
they dont know where normandy is
This is the best response I've seen😂😂
My husband and I got married during the 2008 recession. We said no to the wedding industry and had a courthouse wedding with our immediate family and closest friends. My side of the family wasn't happy and accused 18 year old me of being pregnant the entire time. 😂 We weren't having a shotgun wedding, we were just best friends and knew we wanted to be together forever. I have zero regrets. We just celebrated 16 years together last month. The wedding, itself, isn't the important part. It's the commitment to one another that matters.
My husband and I got married in 2008 too!! Kept it simple, just 70 guests, my aunt made my dress, just baby's breath and grapes for decorations, rented a very pretty park/villa for 200 euros: it was beautiful!! Everyone at my wedding too thought I was crazy because I was 21 😂 Celebrating our 16th anniversary on Columbus Day, 3 kids and going strong!!
😭😭👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💛💛
@@lexiefdf123👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
2008 bride here too. But the recession did not hit Canada so hard at the time. We ended up with the big, white wedding even though I didn't really care either way. My mom and dad (well, my mom) had a blast planning everything and I just went along. It WAS fun. I know we're putting those down now and it was popular putting them down then too. I didn't want one but having had it....yeah, I had a great time. My mom was so worried her brothers would trash her for "being cheap" and I knew that was not an unfounded fear so I let her do what she wanted to make things easier for her. I knew I wanted to get married in the church I grew up in. That part was important.
🙋🏼♀️Eloped 2015. Happily ever after!
I got married in the front yard of my dads business😅 Costco cake and flowers, dress online ($80), catered from a local restaurant that ended up being about $12/plate, and we just got snacks for before. We also had friends be our bar tenders and everyone said it was the funnest wedding they ever went to. Not many weddings also have a mechanical bull and archery tag😂
Sounds like a blast 😅
Last commenter took the words right out of my mouth
My cousins got married in her family's horse barn. My other cousins got married at their church. You don't have to go insane with the planning and location. Our fam runs a greenhouse, I'll just be getting my flowers from there.
Issue is people want to be THE bride and not THE wife
Exactly! They dream about their wedding day and not the following days.
you have issues, man.
Look at the sad Incel hijacking a story on the high cost of weddings to put down women he doesn’t know.
This is so true
Men want a wife and a baby but they don’t want to be a husband and father !!!
I might be in the minority but here is what I think. That big fancy wedding is for the guests, not the "happy" couple. Elope, go to the Courthouse, or, here in Kentucky we can get married by a Magistrate, in Florida a Notary can perform weddings. Do one of those. Have a family member or friend take photos. Then once you are married have a get together for family and close friends. Heck, make it a cookout, do something fun that everyone will enjoy. Stop going into debt just getting married. Save the money for a down payment on a house or save it for the future.
Me and my future wife will be getting married in a Catholic Church. Beautiful and extremely affordable.
$100 to the church, probably another $100 to rent the parish hall... $200 for a venue.
@@brigidwenner6847 That's extremely affordable.
We had a beautiful wedding in the Catholic Church I grew up in this past spring. My parents were married there. I received all my sacraments there now including Holy Matrimony. My grandparents attended the same church and both of their funerals took place there. Very special.
Tuesday church wedding for son. I held it together until even the priest got teary eyed.
My husband gave just about everyone who touched my sons wedding a check or a check with thank you gifts i hand made. Our donations went to support the poor and help turn a motel into family housing with a playground. Beats paying a wedding venue hands down.
Deleted FB, IG, X, BeReal and all the other crap. Restricted YT to subscribed channels only. Now I don't see constant targeted ads and content. Life has been much peaceful without social media.
How do you restrict RUclips to subscribed channels only?
@@Javail-Haltom basically I switched off my watch history. So it shows no videos in my YT homepage. When I want to watch, I go to my subscribed channels section
My wedding was 5k including my dress and food. We had 120 people. It wasn’t big and flashy. It’s doable
Same budget, 50 people, but we were engaged for 20 days 😂 most of that went to the venue
What year and location did you have your wedding?
@@hello1943what year and location? Just curious as these all sound great but I know the year and location play a huge factor to the costs
Our budget exactly, including honeymoon!
We did the same but fewer people because of covid. Honestly it would have been cheaper without covid because my church venue canceled and I had to find a new one that was more expensive. It ended up nice though!
Oh, I will say one thing. The good thing about weddings being stressful is that you get to see how the other handles stress along with the in-laws. This is good because stressful things will happen in life, not all the time, but it will and it's good to have a glimpse before getting married. Just remember though, no one is perfect.
I’d rather have a small wedding that happens sooner in an old American church, but maybe that’s my anti-social guy nature lol
I don't think marriage and antinsocial guy go together bud, but I might be a contrarian
Not anti social you just don’t need to show off
YES - get married in the CHURCH.
10:35 why wouldn't Ben Shapiro walk you down the aisle?😊
best comment ever 😂😂
@@katiekenady4925 thx!🤗
😂
Why on earth would a colleague walk her down the aisle when she has always dreamed that her big brother would do that? I honestly don't understand this question or the people who asked it.
@@shawnahess557chill, it was a joke coz people see Brett and Ben are look a like. Basically saying Ben is Brett's brother.
I paid $89 to the county superior court to marry my husband, and that was all. We put our money into starting our life together. We want to have a reception once we hit 10 years when we renew our vows. No two weddings are alike and that's okay.
@@snappy_gilmore love your idea! My husband and I are planning something similar at 10 years. Only 4 years away now…probably should start thinking of saving for it lol
Be careful. We were planning on the same thing, but covid lockdowns ruined it.
That was me too!
That seems to be a popular option. Less stress and very easy to do. At the 10 year anniversary, it's just a party at that point anyways. The wedding part is primarily for the couple, promising themselves to the other. And everything else is for everyone else.
@@DisplacedUnderDog yes for sure. I’m glad it was just me and my husband with a couple of friends to witness.
I would take a bar of soap ✋
My husband and I decided that we would not put on a big show for everyone and eloped to Las Vegas. It was I love you, you love me lets just do this and get on with our lives together. We were married for 20 years until he passed.
so sorry to hear about your loss
So sorry about your loss🙏🏽 Sounds like you had such a beautiful wedding day and beautiful marriage ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss.
A las Vegas wedding sounds awesome ❤
Little white chappal in Las vegas nevada I think we paid $100.00 in 87
A marriage is a metaphor for Christ Jesus relationship to the church.
It’s a reflection of that, yes. Not just a metaphor.
They need a divorce. The Catholic Church made that assumption. Jesus doesn’t need a church. Nature is his ‘church’
Not really. When I had sex with my husband, I can assure you that I didn't imagine me as a "metaphor" for a church and him as a "metaphor" for Jesus.
In your mind maybe, but Mariage has been a thing waayyyy before Christianity, and it many different cultures around the world.
Also, women have to be natural and dress modestly, not only men.
My mil made my wedding a nightmare. It was all about her.
Toxic relatives are a good reason to elope. The original reason, in fact.
Yeah my parents eloped and eventually had a reception with family
Weddings and receptions are a waste of money. Think simple, focus on your new spouse instead of yourself. Weddings reveal how self centered brides and grooms can be.
i wanted a small and simple wedding, but oftentimes weddings are more about your parents than yourself.
No, not necessarily. Wedding ceremony and "receptions" or celebrating is as old as marriage itself. It outdates legal marriage, and was the epitome of officiating marriage for the majority of the people until very very recent history.
It is a way for everyone to celebrate an important life change, the uniting of two souls forever as one, the uniting of two families into one, in front of and with the families and loved ones and communities, incorporating the religious and spiritual beliefs as well.
And after, the loved ones would celebrate together, and this differed depending on the region and part of the world and time period, but across all regions there was a celebration after, sometimes for WEEKS, to support and celebrate such an amazing and permanent change, the start of a new family and the binding of 2 forever.
We as humans have Ceremonialized and celebrated important moments and changes since before it could even be documented in writing. Hell, we even celebrated good harvests every year! We celebrated children becoming adults, we celebrated people becoming parents, men becoming warriors, and so on.
It's a part of human nature and a way that we express and share and revel in our important and life changing moments socially, sharing these moments with our loved ones via fun, happy memories and ceremonies signifying the start of something new and good.
I believe what YOURE referring to, is specifically the materialistic approach some take to weddings, not wedding ceremonies and receptions as a whole.
There has never been anything wrong with ceremony and reception, as it has been around since the dawn of marriage itself, and is an inherent part of beginning a marriage and has been for nearly everyone for all of marital history.
The issue is a separate one all together, and is rather one of putting on a show to impress others and show off, to try to one up the next person, to fit into an aesthetic, and present yourself a certain way, to see a wedding ceremony as a social stepping stone rather than a ceremony and party celebrating a lifelong bond between a couple and a families, and the start of a new family all together.
Wedding can be simple but you need great food. An BBQ is where it's at. Lite the smoker and low and slow beef brisket and beef ribs. Make coleslaw, potatoe salad, have fresh fruit, and serve strawberry shortcake. Basically make sure all the food is an ten and you pick an time an place that's not hot or full of mosquitoes. Get married in the morning and have an fun lunch reception. Have it outside with a few activities for people to do and an area for the kids to run-around blowing bubbles. Have hay rides or something. Don't serve alcohol just tea, juice and lemonade. And if there's a body of water nearby it better be somewhere where people can fish. Be a wonderful day outside for everyone.
Lol. I asked my husband whether our fairly expensive wedding was a reflection of my selfishness, and he about bit my head off, because his family enjoyed it so much.
It's not just about you. It's about community
Weddings are overrated & super over priced. My parents got married 40 years ago & they got married with immediate family at the courthouse then had a dinner after at a nice nearby restaurant. Done. And it lasted 40+ years!
My brother did a 3 hour cocktail hour with drinks & apps at a local garden & house you can rent out with the ceremony before with just family. It still cost them nearly $10,000!! It’s ridiculous.
Why pay all that money for one afternoon?! Wasteful & it’s so people can show off. The dresses are sooo expensive.
My Mom wore a white mohair cocktail dress from Nordstrom. Found out she’s allergic to mohair.😂
10:50
The way she says, “ObScEnelLY overpriced”. Is the the most dramatic way I have seen her say something. lol
But she's so right! I got quoted 11k for catering for 50 guests!! 😂😂
My future husband and I are having a traditional, Greek Orthodox wedding in Greece!!
Yeah i just got married in June and the whole thing was insane. The whole insustry is crazy.
Congratulations ❤❤
Congratulations on the marriage!!
Congratulations! My husband and I also got married in June
@@felicityengel8812 congrats to you as well!!!
🎶 🎵 They say when you marry in June, you're a bride all your life, and the bridegroom who marries in June gets a sweetheart for a s wife. 🎵 🎶
Ya the number one thing that causes divorces is financial troubles. Over spending on the wedding starts your marriage literally on divorce potential grounds.
Wow, members of my church are so lucky!
We tend to get married quickly after getting engaged, like, within 4 months. Why wait once you've committed?
We get married in our temples, for free, with a maximum of 20-30 people in attendance.
Then people typically have receptions in our church's gyms (decorated, to be sure, but still free as far as the location is concerned). Some people, like myself, rent a reception hall, but that's also much less than the price tags quoted here!
We marry for the covenant we're making with our spouse and God, more than for the show. And thank Heaven we do, apparently!
Side note: I heard once that the more expensive the wedding and reception, the less likely a couple is to stay together long-term. I'm unsure as to the veracity of that statement, but it's an interesting thing I've not been able to forget ever since hearing it.
I’m also LDS, and coming up to an age to be married soon. And I am literally so excited that my future wedding won’t be so expensive since we have such beautiful temples. And it’s so easy to make the church gyms look stunning! You are so right about this!
Fellow church member! Hello friend! I have thought about the avoided costs I will have for my eventual wedding.
Memeber here! 👋
My Dad had a guy literally teach a lesson about how cost-effective it is to be married in the temple compared to the world. I have always loved the image 😂😂
Best part, my dad was on his mission!
Fellow Latter Day Saint and I feel the same way about the options we have for weddings. Our budget was $1500 for dresses, food, flowers, decorations, all of it 18 years ago. I’m Polynesian so most of the budget was to provide a feast for about 100 people. Most of the rest of the details were done on the cheap or from generous people who let us borrow things or gifted us stuff. I’m so grateful! We focused on the marriage covenant for that special day and then a fun, but low key party to celebrate with our family and friends. We planned it in 3 months too. It is possible! Simple is better. ❤️
@@lisaroper421that is awesome!
I paid 120 for a courthouse wedding
Ad starts at 11:11 , ends at 13:05
Commenting for engagement so this gets attention
Not all heroes wear capes 👏🏾
Laughing in RUclips Vanced auto Skip 😏 😈
Brett is the queen of repeating too much in her ads 😩
@@ArcherMVMaster saaameee
Brett is just spitting facts out here!!! About a month into planning my wedding, I realized not only was the cost of everything literally insane and unaffordable for me and my now husband, but also the focus was no longer on us and our life together, but about this big party. Therefore, I decided I wanted a small, intimate wedding. When I told my now husband this, he said he felt a wave of relief and we agreed this was what we really wanted. We had a beautiful and intimate ceremony at our church and a stunning reception with our closest friends and family (20 people) at a local restaurant. To this day, we have no regrets and we only spent a FRACTION of what we would have had we planned the big elaborate wedding. And the best part was that I got to spend the whole wedding planning process just excited to be married to the love of my life and not stressed and angry all the time from planning. ❤️
I love reading this. I'm glad to see some people using common sense. I never wanted a big wedding myself, even as a youngster when other girls were looking at bridal magazines I knew that wasn't for me. It never made sense to me to spend so much money on a big party for everyone else. Whenever I went to big wedding receptions it never really seemed like the bride & groom were actually enjoying themselves. I wanted to enjoy my wedding day.
My wife and I had a 100 guest wedding, planned in 9mo, for less than $25k in the middle of 2020. We had a great planning experience, fantastic time, and happy guests. It’s possible
Im planning my wedding, and I don't think it will cost us more than $4k. 😅
Most people could never afford a wedding that expensive! (25k) I went into debt planning my wedding that was around 9k and regret it! If I could go back, I would forget the wedding and Elope. I would make it about only me and my husband and not about throwing our family and friends a party.
Me and my Fiancée are currently planning our wedding, with also around 100 guests, and we’re at around 25k. Thankfully we’re not in debt, but it is tiring and very stressful. Getting married May 30th next year, and we’re already feeling quite burnt out. That cost was the minimum of what we were looking for sadly.
We’re both working jobs and doing school. It’s quite a handful
That sounds exactly like my best friends wedding! There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen other than the MOH (me) and the best man. I threw a bridal shower for her, but she didn’t want an engagement or bachelorette party. Her parents made ALL the food (including the cake) for the wedding and rehearsal dinner, and we did all the floral arrangements and decorations. There were maybe 75 people at the wedding, and it was truly a perfect day.
25k ? Um… not sure that’s possible for the average person today but ok
My husband and I spent next to nothing on our wedding. Free venue in a local paddock overlooking the sea, local hall for reception for couple hundred. In-laws provided sheep for a spit roast, we had guests bring salads and desserts. We had lots of friends and friends of friends ask to help in the kitchen and set up. Day before we raided the country for wild flowers. We had soo many flowers and paid nothing! A friend of mine made all the wine, and my dress cost 50 which I embellished with hand embroidery. And a cousin and my sister did the photography. It was a very beautiful happy wedding. We even had a live band for dancing.
I think one of the big things we lack these days is family and community. Every one loves to help out at a wedding and the more family you have the more likely you are to have resources and talent on hand.
THIS! honestly, those are the best wedding experiences because everyone being involved in the prep bonds all the family members much more than just showing up.
Yes to the community aspect! These days a wedding is more like a show with an audience than a loving community effort. With ours we had family camping on-site for days prior and helping with prep. It was a ridiculous amount of fun and bonding time for everyone and the 'big event' really just felt like the grand finale of everyone's love and support. It brought not just my husband and I, but our families together in a real and lasting way.
We planned our wedding in 3 months. We got engaged on Tuesday and by Saturday we had 1. My dress .2 Our bridal party 3. Our ceremony venue 4. Our reception venue 5. Our officiant 6. Our rings. It doesn’t have to be long and drawn out
I got married in my backyard greenhouse (which we built ourselves from locally sourced/thrown out supplies) with about 15 guests. I spent under $4,000 with many thrifted items and I live in CA. It was so much more intimate and beautiful this way.
My husband and I eloped! It was the best decision ever!
My husband and I eloped about 3 months before my baby brother got married. I said something to him about eloping vs wedding and his partner had told him that if he wanted to elope, he could do it with someone else cause she wouldn't be hidden away like that. At the end of their reception, I asked how they were doing and they both wished they had eloped 😂😂
My cousin eloped with her hubby right after college and are still happy together with two handsome boys almost 2 decades later. her parents were strongly against her marrying interracially but have since reconciled after the grandkids were born.
@@steph3098 that’s honestly hilarious! Eloping is the WAY to go!
@@HigumaHoney so glad to hear that there was reconciliation between the family!
@@ChelseaMilton yah, it's typically what happens. asian families can be really prejudiced against interracial relationships, but then reconcile once the grandchildren are born.
17:19 my grandma made my cake and it was so special to me! I actually got to help her do it. It was such a fun process!!
My mother told me that weddings and building a home and picking out colors are the same, both are done for everyone else’s opinion but the person/s it’s actually for.
weddings aren't about you, it's about your parents.
@@HigumaHoney huh? interesting. the ceremony where you celebrate the union of you and your spouse isn't about you, but rather about your parents, who may not be alive/active in your life. that's quite an interesting opinion
@@HigumaHoneyWeddings are about the couple, AND their parents, AND extended family, AND friends, AND the local community.
My husband and I got married 12 days after we got engaged. In our church (free) with our pastor, my dad walked me down the aisle. Family and friends got to watch via Zoom. Our photographer (friend) was the most expensive thing at $500. We “honeymooned” a couple hours away for a long weekend immediately after.
I would do it 100 times over again. No regrets.
I love this. My engagement was nearly 4 months and that felt incredibly long, we were so eager to be together. If it's right, why waste the time? Life is short!
Brett's wedding reminds me of that one scene from Father of the Bride where George imagines his daughter having a BBQ wedding and everyone gets so offended that he would even consider something like that. 😂
I was thinking of that movie the entire time she was talking.
Got married at the court house I find spending all that money for a wedding overrated
simple weddings are the best
God loves you and you don't have to "become better" to go to God, we go to him to become better, and because we are lost without him, and also because He wants us to❤
Highly recommend watching some indian weddings. No one cares about the couple they are there just for their enjoyment.
That's the root of why there are wedding celebrations. Back in the day, they'd throw huge wedding parties because the attendees would essentially be proof of the marriage. They didn't have marriage certificates back then. It's also the reason that Jesus turning water into wine, to keep the party raging, was considered a miracle.
I bought a white prom dress to use as my wedding dress,my mom made the wedding cake/flower arrangements/and dinner (with help of the ladies from her church.. We had maybe 15 people there at mom's church the day of our wedding, It was small and turned out great.
My husband and I just celebrated 41 years ! So NO you DON'T need big ,huge weddings,It should be all about you and your husbands union.
Crazzzzzyyy that Brett makes a video about this as I’ve been engaged for barely over a month and have had a few breakdowns because of wedding planning and how crappy the industry is. As my fiancée would say, it feels like cancer. 🙃 I’m thrilled to be engaged, but the costs are absurd.
maybe plan a destination wedding overseas where the venues and catering are much cheaper, and you can limit your guest list because people have to rsvp and pay for their own plane tickets and accommodation. i think only your real family and real friends would bother to attend.
@@HigumaHoney Unfortunately our families and friends would not be able to handle the cost of that. We would rather have the people we love surround us than make it harder for them to come. Thank you though!
SAME! Even trying to find blogs on "micro" weddings or budget weddings is stressful!
@@HigumaHoneyI have been looking into international wedding to save on the cost but sadly, it is the same if not more expensive than getting married here. At this point I am lost and I just want to elope
@@laryleidys Then elope & jist plan a reception/party at a local brewery or park! Provide cake & just have fun!!
My husband and I got married in mid April of 1988. I wanted to go to the courthouse. We got married in hisbparents living room. Yhe cost ...$100 YEP!! That was of the homemade cake that my MIL made. I got married in an old dtess that wasnt a wedding dress. My husband wore his older brother's prom suit (not actux ) My husband's uncle was a preacher and married us. I thought it was too big. There were a total of 10 people. Weddings can be small and enjoyable.
Thank you my bf and I decided to elope because we are trying to run 2 businesses, home-school, and save money so our kids can play hockey. All of our friends have spent upwards of 100- 200k on weddings, they went into massive debt and so many people have guilted us but honestly we are firm in our decision.
that's insane.... i'd say, but i know people who've probably spent that much or more. my first wedding was probably around 12k.... but parents wanted a round 2, and we had another wedding in southeast asia where all our relatives could attend.
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but one of my formerly good friends had a really big wedding, the 200k kind. her wedding was destination malaysia and was a traditional wedding that lasted several days, including the groom going to the bride's home to pick her up in a palanquin, then parading her and the dowry gifts around their hometown for a whole day, a tea ceremony, wedding ritual and wedding reception. i said formerly good friend, because she bragged to too many friends and family that i was flying in to malaysia from the usa, but i got laid off that year and couldn't make it due to financial reasons.
Already fornicating and have a child and then you get married? Why didn't you get married before you started fornicating?
Guilt you into spending tens or hundreds of thousands? Wow. Don't back down!
My wedding is coming up. Well, not a wedding. It’s just my fiancé and I going to Colorado to officiate our own wedding and exchange vows in the mountains. No one other than us two and God.
5:57 Brett takes a sip ☕️
Was quoted $400 for a very simple bouquet. Decided planning a wedding was not worth it after that.
Waited 22 yrs for my wedding, just a small personal intimate wedding. Backyard BBQ with close friends and family
Ooownn, amir was in bretts wedding party! Thats so nice!! Didnt know brett and him were this close
Yes, can I please have a bar of SOAP!!
I wanted to elope…
Felt like the whole day was about everyone else and accomidating others. 5 years later my husband finally agrees with me
My husband and I got married in our first apartment. His parents, mine, and our siblings. Been happily married for 11 years. No regrets I honestly would’ve gotten eloped as well 😅
My wife went so bat sh!t crazy planning our wedding I thought of backing out.
Currently planning my wedding and def realizing all the unnecessary costs 😂 like just the paper alone, I’m only doing wedding invitations but the knot is trying to advertise
1) save the dates
2) wedding invites
3) RSVPs
4) wedding info cards
5) bridal shower invites
6) thank you cards
Like what 😂 no, I’m doing invites and then the rest will be on our website or done in person.
And let’s not forget the “budget venues” that cost $2500 BUT if you want the decor and everything else that makes the setting pretty to be included then it’s an extra $3800 🤣
I was just talking to my husband the other day about how cheap our wedding was (1995). We threw it together in 2 months and I sent out fill in the blank wedding invitations 😂😂 I think it cost under $10.
Right?! I'm advocating for PDF invitations that I'll make on Canva and emailing them out to people. "Click to RSVP" 😅
Don't you and 99% of everyone you know have email addresses?
@@ambersolomon7942A PDF ? Why not just plain text readable in anything.
@@gaiuszeno1331 Exactly.
We had a wedding on my husbands grandfathers farm and a backyard reception 🥰 it was beautiful!!
Go back to the the 40's and 50's weddings. Simple beautiful, family and love ,period.
It's the same process they use to push unrealistic beauty standards - psychological manipulation to separate women from their money
Social media has made so much toxic
Put all that money into savings for a home, which will provide even greater memories down the line than an extravagant wedding. A wedding is just one day; a home is forever.
No shame in wanting a smaller intimate wedding. I'm in my late 30s and have bever been married. I absolutely want the larger more fancy wedding. Just the immediate family on my side would be almost 80 people, over 95% I know would be coming, so planning to do a 150 guest list as long as my future husband doesn’t have a huge family. I'm guessing we'll be spending around $30k. Since I know I want a nicer wedding, I have a wedding fund I put toward monthly as part of my savings. Still looking for Mr. right.
Find yourself a low maintenance spouse. This will benefit you in all aspects of your lives.
My husband and I did the same thing. We did a lot of things on our own and had our friends and family help. We splurged on a band. It was beautiful and a medium sized wedding but full of love and lots of fun. Not that expensive but we made it ours. And totally agree…STAY AWAY FROM TRADITIONAL WEDDING VENDORS. 😂 I swear the word wedding makes the price triple!!!
Same
Plate $5
Wedding plate $500
I always wanted a huge wedding but its not worth it. Just get married and be together for life
Thank God that my fiancé and I can afford a decent wedding party without going to debt. But honestly the listening of everyone’s opinions have been the biggest stressors for both of us. We only want to join our lives and start a life together, but it’s crazy how many social expectations are placed on us just because we are getting married, and how many people don’t realize that organizing a big wedding party takes a lot of resources that some couples cannot afford and unfortunately trying to impress everyone can ultimately lead to an unhappy marriage.
So many churches have low cost rental for their chapel and reception space and many have decor included. Outdoor weddings, at least in the beautiful pnw where I live, can be so beautiful and low cost. If you are planning your wedding around what "everyone else is doing", keep in mind what everyone else is NOT doing and that is paying your bill for your wedding. Your wedding day should be memorable, but going into debt for a 1 day event is just wild.
When's Snow White coming out? You are too adorable...
I am planning my wedding and I am absolutely miserable and I cannot wait for it to be finished. I am tired of pretending that I’m enjoying all these moving pieces and pressure and I just want to be married already. My fiance is already so burnt out and it’s making me sad. I feel like I sound ungrateful but even though it’s supposed to be fun, it’s such a huge financial burden and makes you so self conscious about what people will think of you…why wouldn’t you hate it
Best wishes on your wedding and upcoming marriage! Wedding planning is very stressful because you’re trying to think of everything that will make others happy. If you’re over burdened, it’s okay to scale back. Make sure your wedding is within your means and is what you’re comfortable with. It’s the most important day of your life! If you’re worried what someone might think, then maybe they shouldn’t be part of something so special. I’m sure your wedding will work out the way it’s supposed to. 😊
Scale your wedding back. Pitch a tent in a friend or family back yard or rent a home with a nice back yard. Do any family members cook? Professional catering isn’t necessary.
That was me. It sucks. I believe weddings are meant to include the support system that is going to be there throughout the new marriage. But it’s really hard when those guests probably won’t be much support and have high expectations that just can’t always be avoided. If you need advice on what I wish I’d done instead in hindsight, let me know.
Best piece of advice I ever heard “do you want the wedding day or the marriage?”
A lotttttt of ladies need to ask themselves this when discerning being together with their boyfriend FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!!!! 😮💨😪
We got married on the lawn at church. 50 people in attendance. Made all the food, did all the flowers, set up/tear down. Biggest splurge was a photog for $1,200. Only $2,200 for the WHOLE wedding total.
Do it the old European way.
Potluck and dancing all night.
I always dreamed about my wedding!
Why do people simply assume they will get married? That's always been bizarre to me, especially when it's been since childhood. You're already assuming that you're so beautiful (because it's usually women who have this dream) and have such an incredible personality that a man will want to spend every single day, for the the rest of his life, with you. It's just astounding to me that many people seem born with that level of confidence or that assumption!
@@Yesica1993Not everyone is miserable, thats why… You are telling on yourself with that comment.
@@Yesica1993L take, cat lady
@@Yesica1993as long as you're not just a miserable person, there is always someone out there who will love you and want to be with you. Marriage isn't just for perfect people, because perfect people don't exist
@@Yesica1993 mostly its because we're biologically wired to reproduce and we want a safe space and person to do it with, also because marriage is awesome and loving someone and prioritizing them for the rest of your life is a good purpose to choose. When I got married last year I knew there was nothing i did to "earn it" by being more beautiful or better than other women, just bc me and my husband share attraction and the same life plans.
Baked beans on your wedding is a risk Alex didn’t know he would be taking.
Been engaged since December of last year. I have looked for wedding venues every day since then and have not been able to find a SINGLE venue that is affordable.
My sister rented the local VFW hall for $100 😂 though even that is more expensive now. My sisters & sister-in-law decorated with fairy lights, toulle and eucalyptus. Definitely put more stress on the family to get it looking nice, but we were happy to help.
Get married in a church!
I rented a VFW Hall and a chapel, which were cheaper than anything else. I still spent more than the other commenter because it was an expensive/rich area, but our wedding was probably $10k, and that's only bc my mother in law crazy overspent😂😂 We were initially planning on a $5k wedding (with the VFW hall for $900 and the chapel for $500) before my MIL took over the wedding planning and bought a bunch of shit we didn't need lmao
try punta cuna during the winter months.
Do Vegas
My wife and I were blessed she comes from a huge family and there gift to us was cooking all the food.
I want to start by saying that I genuinely enjoy your show and appreciate the insights you bring. However, I found your perspective in this particular video to be somewhat flawed. Having worked as a professional photographer in the industry for over 15 years, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing a wide range of wedding styles and experiences, and I feel compelled to share a different viewpoint.
One crucial point to consider is that many couples don't have the same conveniences or opportunities that you, as a celebrity RUclipsr, naturally have access to. Your status means that people are often willing to offer their services for free or at a significant discount, simply for the chance to be associated with you. This reality can dramatically skew your experience and expectations, making it easier to advocate for more budget-friendly or simplistic approaches. However, these options may not translate well for the average couple, who would likely have to pay full price for these services, impacting their overall experience.
Imagine, for a moment, if you were just an everyday couple without those celebrity perks-how would you feel about having your reception at a Golden Corral or a ceremony in a courthouse or an average backyard? The reality is, without the enhancements and conveniences that come with your status, you might find these suggestions far less appealing.
That said, I do agree with the essence of your message-simplicity can be incredibly beautiful and romantic. My own wedding was small and intimate, and it was everything I had hoped for. However, I don’t think we should judge those who choose to go big and elaborate, especially if they have the means and a large group of loved ones they wish to include in the celebration. Marriage is a profound milestone, one that marks the beginning of a lifelong journey. It deserves to be celebrated in a way that feels right to the couple, whether that’s big or small, simple or grand.
In the end, it’s about honoring the uniqueness of each couple’s vision for their special day. What works for one may not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay.
Coming from a mans perspective what is the point of your job at all?
How is wedding photography still a thing when everyone has a phone with multiple cameras on it. Shell out 30 dollars for some stands and you have a multi camera photoshoot setup.
@@gaiuszeno1331not the person you’re responding to but there is a major quality difference in the quality of photos you get from a professional photographer vs. a bunch of amateurs taking random photos on their phones. Good photography may not be important to you, which is totally fine, but my fiancé and I wanted nice photos of us and the people we love celebrating the beginning of our marriage.
@@gaiuszeno1331Professional photography is way better than phones operated by a layperson.
@@gaiuszeno1331 If you personally view iPhone photos as equally beautiful to a professional, then yeah just have people with iPhones. But the majority of people know that iPhone quality images do not typically translate to the same quality. Furthermore, trusting guests or anyone on iPhones is very risky. A photographer isn't just there to take photos (saying this as someone who does video as well, my husband and I do photo AND video full-time). We manage the timeline (especially with weddings that have no planner or coordinator), we help destress the bride, we run the couple around throughout the day, we bring snacks, we fluff the dress, we prep them for grand entrance, we make sure everyone is on time, we offer prints, we offer advice, we give gifts throughout the process. We're basically people handlers to ensure drama isn't crazy, to ensure that photos you want do in fact get taken and not forgotten because we're not guests who want to enjoy the day, we're professionals who know we HAVE to get all the photos. Also, iPhones are extremely limited in low-light conditions. If you want photos you can print or hang, then that's not something an iPhone can usually do adequately or well. Plus, as a bride myself in 2023, I wanted my guests to actually enjoy the day, trusting their ability to shoot successfully nonwithstanding.
But hey that's just my two cents lol.
@gaiuszeno1331 that's the one thing that should be splurged on. Photos are forever. Those professionals photos are phenomenal compared to the bad candids aunt Linda took that couples literally regret-cry because there's no do-overs.
Best weddings are the ones with 2 kids who love each other, great friends and family, great food, and a rec hall. Simple and real
We thought it was ridiculous to spend a ton of money on ONE day! We were more concerned with the days after it. We had a small, cheap wedding (30 years ago) and spent our money on a down payment for a house to live in after the wedding. Most marriage issues are about money. Why start your marriage in debt. And studies show the more money people spend on a wedding the higher the chances are for divorce.
The amount im spending on my wedding in a few months would not be able to get me a down payment anywhere in my entire province haha.
Spent $3k on our wedding in 2016, bought our first house two years later on a single income. Matching priorities and a unified vision go a long way.
City hall, dinner down the road. Parents invited only, spent weekend in glacier. Easy, simple, lovely.
omg i would LOVE a bar of soap from your wedding LOL 😂 if only IG would let me dm you
i really want to get eloped to avoid the planning troubles all together 😅
Lol us religious Jews plan a wedding within 3 months or less😊
Yes and lots of us have big families (my mom alone has 60 first cousins) so its not uncommon for them to be 250-300 people
Is there a religious reason for it or is it more of a cultural thing?
Same for us Latter-day Saints. 💛
I am protestant and we were married 3 months after engagement 😊
How expensive does it get?
I've never understood spending a fortune on a 1 day event that no one but the couple and their very nearest relatives even care about. I'd much rather spend that money on my home or savings. Something that will increase in value and last more than a day.
Got married in a church at a cost about $6000 (including honeymoon) where the wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses were sewn and food - photography done by friends and family. Did the same for my 4:28 daughter as well for about the same cost. The higher the cost, greater chance for divorce.
No joke! An expensive wedding and extended engagement show the couple's priorities are askew from the outset!
Some people are more in love with getting married and not in love who they are marrying.
We got married at the court house at about 10:45 pm a bail bondsman and the lady bailing someone out were our witnesses. We have been married for 21 years now. When you know you wanna spend the rest of your lives together you don’t need a big wedding , you just need each other.
This is so beautiful!! 👏🏽✨🤍🙏🏽
@@aliciab.4772 thank you❤️
Hi from BRAZIL! A weeding should be beautifull, but IN THE SENSE of beauty actually😉. Beauty of heart and soul and joy. Not beaut for the vanity. A wedding it's about being romantic and not Instagrammable, it's about being a moment of union, in which you are attentive to this, your vows! and not an event in which this union ends up happening...
Marriage is for the husband and wife. I like the idea of having a very private wedding, with no expectations of social cameras, just cameras and no posting, and on another day you had a party. Weddings were small parties because they weren't a oficial party , they were an intimate union witnessed by really intimate people.
Focus on the marriage, not on the wedding. It's only 1 day of the rest of your wedded bliss
I planned the wedding my way and to my vision. I had supportive people who backed me. I love my wedding. The only things I would've changed is getting married earlier, we got married at 5:30-6pm. And the other thing was my dress, I love it but I was allergic to the fabric and was so done by the end of the night, I wish I would've had a dress to change into after the ceremony and dinner.I had a blast marrying my high school sweetheart and it was about us
Wow, this is insane! Keep it up!
Literally no reason to be stressed. Just get married