Fear of Trans Bodies
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- Опубликовано: 11 окт 2024
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What does it mean for a body to be damaged?
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References
1. “On the Outside Looking In” by Julia Serano: www.juliaseran...
2. “Irreversible Damage” by Abigail Shrier:
3. “Tracing the Roots of Pop Culture Transphobia” by Lindsay Ellis: • Tracing the Roots of P...
4. Breast cancer risk in transgender people receiving hormone treatment: nationwide cohort study in the Netherlands www.ncbi.nlm.n...
5. “What’s so Good about Being Natural?” by Nour Abi-Nakhoul:
6. Hormone Replacement Therapy Market Worth $35.79 Billion by 2030: www.bloomberg....
7. Global Anti Aging Market Size Worth $120 Billion by 2030 at a 7.5% CAGR: www.globenewsw...
8. Female voice changes around and after the menopause--an initial investigation: pubmed.ncbi.nl...
9. “Ten Stages of Genocide” by Gregory H. Stanton: genocideeducat...
Media used
“It Was Hot, We Stayed in the Water (STEMS Version)” by The Microphones
“Transphobic Techno (B**** Got a P****)” by Your Favorite Martian
“Back to the Future” by Robert Zemeckis
Several videos by TT Exulansic
“I Emailed my Doctor 133 Times - The Crisis in the British Healthcare System” by Philosophy Tube
Twitter vent by KC Miller
“Network” by Sidney Lumet
“Synecdoche, New York” by Charlie Kaufman
“RaeLynn - God Made Girls” by TK McKamy
“The Final Exit of the Disciples of Ascensia” by Jonni Phillips
Backxwash live set - M for Montreal 2021
“The Queen” by Frank Simon
Inspirations
“Health Communism” by Beatrice Adler-Bolton and Artie Vierkant
“My Words to Victor Frankenstein Above the Village of Chamounix” by Susan Stryker
“Should Have Known Better” by Sufjan Stevens
Everything ever released by The Microphones & Mount Eerie
“There is no other world, and there has never been.”
Correction: 33:31 The sale actually ends January 2nd, 2023. After that, my link gives a smaller discount.
As a transmasculine person who's been on testosterone for about three months now, I cannot describe how glad I am that I got through the worry that HRT would "mess up my body" or make me somehow "gross". Testosterone is so much better than I ever thought it would be. Sure, I'll joke about how T is "actually kind of garbage for you," and it *can* increase your risk for certain health problems, but the health *benefits* of being in a body you like and want to take care of are pretty incredible.
Feel similarly about finally getting on estrogen recently, I almost started like a year ago, but I had that similar worry that it would somehow mess up my body, and ended up waiting almost a year to even try and start estrogen again, and I feel wonderful, and so glad to be changing in ways I actually like
The connections you made to ableism and the fear of aging were really eye opening. Being reminded that your very existence is an act of defiance can be terrifying but also empowering.
It's kind of weird for me since my experience with ableism often comes tied with infantilisation; disability treated not as a reminder of aging, but of immaturity.
I would say "make up your minds, people" but I've accepted that most "normal" people are usually hypocrites whose beliefs are dependant on the social groups involved rather than consistent personal values.
@@angeldude101 Old people are often infantilized, of course, especially in sexual matters, especially being presumed not to have any interest in sex. If they DO show any interest in sex, it is regarded as disgusting and unnatural.
@@arcadiaberger9204 Irony. "You're too old to be an adult, so you're a child."
@@angeldude101 Time was, dementia was presumed to be an inevitable feature of old age rather than an illness which needed to be watched out for and prevented/treated, and was condescendingly called "second childhood".
@@youtubesucks5080 You completely misunderstand.
1) It's pretty obvious that a large number of freaks are obsessed with trans people, hate them and are eager to spread misinformation about them and suppress vital information.
2) Some politicians are profiting immensely from this transphobia trend.
3) I am not trans. I am an ally of trans people, as I am of ethnic and religious minorities, because I am a patriotic American.
I'm a trans man who's had my internal reproductive organs and breasts removed. But those surgeries were ultimately unrelated to my gender identity; they were performed due to an extreme cancer risk. I wonder how Schrier thinks her rhetoric falls on the ears of cis women who've required mastectomies or hysterectomies due to non-gender-related reasons?
The sad reality among hard right conservatives is that they don't view cis women who've had those types of surgeries as "fully women". When the core of the role is being able to breed, well, if you lose that capability then you have failed that role. They view women in these circumstances with pity and veiled disgust.
And when it's pointed out to them that cis women also have these procedures and "aren't they still real women?" they almost always deflect with, "Well, it's very rare and doesn't really impact the conversation." It's funny how often their sacred binary is shockingly non-binary.
It's a bit different with cis men. Their role is "protector and bread winner" rather than impregnator. So the worst thing that can befall a cis man (according to the fascists) is to become disabled in a way that impacts his physical prowess and earning potential.
@@bluenorth3965 maybe you should watch the video before saying silly things
Sad reality is the system will often stop them from having the procedure. Because they might meet a cis man who wants to have a child. The sad reality is our system as long as it exists will control cis womes bodies even at the expense of their health.
@@CorwinFound who are "the fascists"?
@@dakotamadeleinel.1973 Fascism is a far-right, authoritarian, ultra-nationalist political ideology and movement-- ect. The hard far rightists are the fascists.
I've had a hysterectomy and i think i'm nonbinary. The surgery was absolutely lifechanging for me for health reasons, but i'd already decided i didn't want kids and then got unexpected gender euphoria. Body autonomy is #1 and it kills me that people with fibroids and endometriosis are gatekept from surgery because "but baaaaaabies!"
people often fear monger about “what if you regret it!!” well.. if they regret it then so be it. people should be able to choose, not everyone will regret it!
I’ve been having a very similar problem, being denied a hysterectomy. I’m an intersex man, with a uterus and primarily feminine appearing genitalia. I’ve always had horrid experiences with those organs, ever since I was 10. Dealing with ovarian cysts, suspected endometriosis, blood flow so heavy that no product worked for more than an hour. I’ve fainted, had ovarian cysts rupture, been hospitalized, and much more. However, I’m still being denied surgery because “kids”. I’ve been told that I’m most likely infertile due to my intersex condition, but won’t be given surgery because of the small chance that I could be somewhat fertile. I am on testosterone, I am visibly a man, I’ve stated for years that I do not want children whatsoever. I’m not even biologically female, and yet simply having a vague lower resemblance to a biological female makes doctors see me as a breeder. I’m on a birth control now that’s helped a whole ton, but I do still feel a lot of pain despite not bleeding. Im actually in a lot of pain from a cyst as I type this. It’s absolutely disgusting that certain people aren’t allowed medical autonomy, and even more disgusting that people like me have been dealing with this since childhood and still can’t put an end to the pain. I’m terrified of surgery, and yet I want nothing more than to get this mess of an organ out of my body.
It comes off as really creepy too. It sounds like they want to force any person with a womb to have children, whether they want to or not.
@@Mars-jf4gy they won't even let a man get rid of his uterus!? God this system is broken!
@@Mars-jf4gyholy shit man. That sounds absolutely horrible. Take care. Hope everything gets better.
You know, in 1000 years when they dig up your skeleton, they’re gonna say “HOLY SH*T, ITS SANS FROM UNDERTAALE!”
They better!
HOLY FUCK SANS!!! ITS SANS!!!
LMAOOOOOOOOOO
My wife and I carry similar scars, similar body hair, similar vocal registers. One of us is a trans woman; one of us was declared female at birth and has a hormonal abnormality and endometriosis. How beautiful to have someone to sing with in unison, someone to apply one's lidocaine gel, someone who can tweeze those stubborn hairs between the neck and chin. How beautiful to plan our hormonal futures from the same baseline, to set one reminder for both our bone density scans, to look forward to many kisses between mouths dyed a little blue. It's transcendent and affirming to plan surgeries together, to care for one another in times of bodily discomfort or transition, to challenge shitty doctors with a real-life a/b test. Trans womanhood is beautifying and challenges outdated ideas about women with hormonal irregularities being broken/sick/damaged. Sisterhood continues to be powerful. Thank you, Lily, for existing publicly in your body despite the scrutiny that brings. May your body bring you many blessings.
genuinely one of the sweetest things ive read today. best wishes to you and your wife x
that’s so beautiful, i’m so happy for you both!! life is fulfilling when you have someone to support you in every aspect
@@youtubesucks5080 so a woman with endimetriosis is a man?
Such extreme eloquence in your words. I’m very curious about trans life because of how foreign it is to my upbringing and understanding and you are helping to guide and reward my curiosity with the majesty of discovery and novelty. Thank you very much.
Why would your mouths be blue?
Maybe I'm the minority but growing up in the 90's trans people were invisible to me. The drag queens of Rocky Horror were probably my first images of trans identity. It's only after seeing trans "transformation" videos on RUclips that my understanding shifted. It wasn't just their looks - I could see how happy trans people were after transitioning. It was amazing seeing how they came alive. Since then I've followed more amazing trans creators. As a woman and part of the LGBT+ community, I see trans women as my sisters. They are the part of the community which faces the brunt of the conservative backlash, yet at the same time they are in the front as activists and intellectuals pushing the left forward. Nowadays I am so terrified for your safety. My thoughts are with you.
Truly appreciate this comment - thank you 💜
My first encounter with trans representation in movies was in crocodile dundee. The scene in the bar was what showed me how the world thought of trans people at the time. I am disappointed that society hasn't moved as far forward as I would like in regard to trans representation in media.
Growing up in the '80s, the only trans woman I had ever heard of was Wendy Carlos, and I didn't know that trans men even existed.
I noticed one person who was going through transition in the 80's. Then again, I didn't know who to look for. I later regretted not asking her questions. I might have moved forward, then.
🥲
When I talked about starting T people were always like "but what about like your hairline receding and stuff, do you really want that" and these aspects used to scare me a lot and made me hesitate in starting T, but I've started to think about it as "if it happens it's the way it was supposed to be because if I was a cis man it would happen to me anyway just without the choice"
And also, a receding hair line can look good. My dad has one, and he looks great.
Finasteride is your friend if you don't want a receding hairline.
@@youtubesucks5080 Finasteride has been in use for 30 years, since 1992. Pretty much all the long term side effects have been documented. Stop fearmongering shit you know nothing about.
I never liked my bangs anyway
Worst case scenario, just own it and start cosplaying Vegeta from each DBZ saga as the receding hairline grows.
Funnily, walking corpse is what I call my pre transition self.
I was a zombie, wishing I didn't exist while trying to look alive and constantly failling
You always manage to take deeply distressing topics about things many of us are sort of forced to mull over in our heads as society yells at trans people and explain it in a nuanced and calm way. There's so much thrown at trans people and right now it all feels so loud, your voice is so calming and makes your delivery that much more powerful. I can't imagine how thick your skin becomes after reading so much weird shit people say about us and our bodies.
I love seeing other trans people doing great things :)
Honestly, my skin isn’t especially thick - I have to take a lot of care not to expose myself to too much of this stuff. Otherwise it gets too overwhelming to think about.
I really appreciate this comment. I’m glad I can be this kind of presence. Thank you 💖
It's frightening. I don't know why your comment made me cry. You know, when Lily talked about the steps towards genocide, I was both relieved that someone else had noticed, is talking about it and simultaneously horrified at having my fears validated.
It'll be alright. So long as we all refuse to shut up, it will be alright.
Thank you, Lily. You are a marvellous person.
oh thank god i didnt want to avoid this video but i thought i had to cuz i didnt want more horrible realizations thrown at me. but thats not the case. yahoo.
Quick thing: neither of my grandmothers were able to have biological children. They were cis women who couldn't. They adopted, they were mothers. Bodies don't dictate a person's ability to be a parent.
Posthumous thumbs up from Dave Thomas (better known as the founder of Wendy's).
Without a body…you can’t be a parent. So, bodies do dictate. You need a uterus to gestate a baby. Unfortunately, this is a fact no one can argue with. Your grandmothers couldn’t conceive, lots of women can’t, but MOST can. The expectation is that women carry babies. Adoption is wonderful for people who can’t be parents. I’m not entirely sure what your point is.
@@pommiebears, simple: giving birth isn't what makes someone a mother. Raising a child is what makes someone a parent and it doesn't matter what kind of body you have.
@@pommiebears
the point probably is that while females are the ones who currently conceive humans, being a "woman" isnt dictated by ones ability to give birth. because if it was lot of cis women suddenly wouldnt be women anymore
@@MrAapasuo yeah, and I think it’s also pretty cruel to call someone who has poured their heart and soul into caring for a child, even if the child isn’t sharing their genetics, less of a parent.
I swear it’s like people who think like that think that the end all be all of having kids is sex and pregnancy. That’s nine months of experience compared to the kid’s entire life. Who cares if you miss out on that part?
We don’t call people good parents because they’re good at sex or carrying kids, we call them good parents based on how they treat their children, how responsible they are, what lessons they try to teach. Disqualifying someone from parenthood because they can’t carry or beget a child is insane.
I recently met a trans man( ftm) . I had no idea they were trans and would not have known unless I had been told. This is the first trans person I ever have met and I must say I'm ashamed of the preconceived notions and biased I held before knowing him. I think that is what will actually help people, actually meeting and getting to know a trans person. Great video.
It happens a lot once people meet us! We are very much normal people like anyone else. I pay my taxes, read to my kids, and make mistakes and grow like anyone else. 🤷♀️
okay i'm sorry to detract from the point of your comment but i initially read "trans man( ftm)" as "Trans Man(tm)" and was like wait what constitutes for a Trans Man(tm), i know about White People(tm) and Straights(tm), but what could possibly be Trans Man(tm)
really weird brain moment i had all around💀💀
I cannot agree more. A lot of my understanding of trans people came when one of my friends came out as trans and I was able to unlearn a lot of what media at large had told me.
If I had never been that close with a trans person I would not have done research into transitioning and might not have discovered this I was trans myself.
I completely agree I’ve only ever faced serious issues with people who didn’t know me/weren’t close to me before I came out and I’m sure that if I pass one day it’ll be the same. The only issue I’ve had with people I already knew is people calling me “one of the good ones” and being convinced I’m the exception just because I’m not what the internet taught them to expect
Interesting. I was quite ignorant to anything non straight before I started working as a bouncer at an LGBTQ club. I've seen a trans girl get drinks brought for her all night and kiss this guy Alex who's there every weekend. When one of his boys said she was a dude as they waited for their coats at the end of the night Alex pretend he didn't know her biology and started trying to fight her. It made me feel Sick, made me feel guilty and then made me super interested in this whole topic. Basically most of the things trans women say happen to them I've witnessed happen in real time in that club. It's opened my eyes.
I sometimes wonder where my fellow trans sisters and brothers take the strength to meet "normal" random strangers in that intimate way. I personally don't have it and only trust cis people through transitivity in fear of what you describe.
a trans person? at a LGBT bar? radical. insane. compeltely unexpected.
Like if someone's gonna make a big deal about that in THAT sort of environment they probably have some issues they really need resolving.
@@sarafontanini7051 it's an LGBT bar that was trying hard as it could to be a football pub and a drum and base rave at the same time. We had a lot of problems most of them sorted now.
@@sophie-oi6ci I use the tree frog method... I make it be the first thing people know about me. I wear the flag all over me. And if I'm trying to attract someone, I start with it. It's not necessary by any means. In fact, it puts me in greater danger in my daily life. But it protects me from the "trans panic defense", so that helps me sleep at night. I am okay with being publicly trans, but I draw the line at a potential transphobe being inside my house, or me in theirs.
@micksmiff and I presume you're an expert on what gets a bloke beaten up based on personal experience
I swear sometimes you just take the thoughts I've been mulling over for months right out of my head. Every change is a death process, and confronting the transience of my own physical body is to confront the transience of all material reality. I've never felt more alive and enternal because of it. :)
That's such a lovely way to put it :)
@@lily_lxndr and @rileylovebucket6080 "Every change is a death process" I'd put it more nearly as all changes have trade-offs. "confronting the transience of my own physical body is to confront the transience of all material reality" Ok, but sometimes our technology is good enough that "confront" can mean "fix" rather than "accept". Consider cataracts: If we live long enough, each of us will eventually get them (at 64, I have the beginnings of them). Operations to remove
cataracts and reverse the damage they do to vision are routine. Perhaps someday more of the other damages
aging inflicts will also be fixable.
This is the best video I could’ve watched tonight. I transitioned 12 yrs ago. But recently I’ve been feeling self hatred, not ever resenting my decision but yet still feeling inferior and unhealthy. Thank you for putting something more positive and loving in my restless mind.
If your picture is any indication of your absolute femininity in form and perhaps nature, then I am perplexed as to the impetus for the sense of 'self-hatred' and feeling "inferior and unhealthy." I would love to explore that with you.
I transitioned 16 yrs ago and could only afford, after selling everything I had, and received some kind monetary contributions from my equally less than financially secure friends, so that I could find an identifying inner peace through vaginoplasty (well it is a bit more work than that😉). I remember post surgery the staff all wished me a "happy birthday." I was perplexed because to me I was simply made correct. My birthday hadn't changed, nor had my personal history up to that point, that I knew of.
I have been learning and appreciating my body as far as I could have changed it. I could not and still can't afford the treatments that I would have, and still do, long for. My face is not okay, my breasts are too small, my body is too square, my feet and hands are too large, and my arms are too buff; these are the things, in my life, that have always made me doubt myself, as well as having the dubious pleasure to have transitioned after losing most of my hair (a great insecurity for me). Knowing in my twenties about my condition and having 'appropriate' consideration, by professionals, capable and willing to carefully guide me through the process might been a benefit.
My transition has caused a lot of hurt, primarily my family, even though they try their best to deny my presumptions; they lost a father and a husband, now that hurts and shames.
Before I transitioned I truly and emphatically hated myself and to spite my best efforts to overcome my perverse behavior, I kept coming back to the unresolved conflict that I am more a woman in nature of mind and body and not finding resolution was going to kill me.
Today, I cry all the time when I look upon the beauty that is possible to achieve through surgeries; leads to perpetual inferiority and greater dysphoria that shrinks to introversion. I am a happy social person by nature. I remain a happy one only because I look to the best that can be had in any situation.
It took me twenty-plus years before I had an actual intimate experience; still no relationship; I have lengthy conversations with my cats, talk about whacky!
Please find what you are looking for, you are more than you have yet realized. Never give up, focus your intention(s), life is Rich. Discover your place in it, I implore you.
Enjoy🥰
@@youtubesucks5080 and why would I listen to you?
12:20 "[Estrogen] increased the rate of breast cancer by 46 times"
Yes, you are far more likely to develop breast cancer once you grow breasts. I'm so glad Sherlock is out here informing the masses.
😂
Aaah yes, estrogen increase risk of breast cancer
Because now have breast
big brain moment
No, I think I got it, she just wants all teenage girls put on puberty blockers so they don't have breast cancer, she is a few steps ahead of us ^^
"testosterone will make you go bald" well, not will, depends a lot on genetics and how you care for your hair
but obv, men are more likely to suffer from balding, what a suprise
@@foxliasgriffinYT it's also funny how this argument is in a way disrespectful of cis women who are bald. There are many reasons someone may end up bald, it's not the end of the world. Like, are women not supposed to have chemo anymore? Are women not supposed to just, want to be bald sometimes?
Growing up as a cis girl/woman, I was often bullied by transphobic peers for my appearance, and as an adult I’ve more than once had transphobic peers assume I’m a trans woman because of how they perceive things like my facial features. I’m also Jewish, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that there’s almost always a connection, in my experience, between people who judge me for “looking trans” and people who judge me for “looking Jewish” - who see my curly hair, wide nose, and loud voice as inherently sinister and ugly; who place me lower in their hierarchy of “womanhood” because of things that, to them, mark me as Jewish. The Venn diagram between these groups is a circle, and I think this video gets at why: it’s eugenics, babey!
The connections between TERF ideology and racism, antisemitism, ableism, classism, etc have been well-established, but I found this video really refreshing nonetheless. There’s a lot to be said for demystifying and normalizing the human body. Not to be that person who’s like “capitalism benefits from alienating us all from our bodies and forcing us to see them as simple tools for production instead of complex living organisms that we can and should be able to exercise autonomy over in this brief yet meaningful existence we all experience” but, well… 🤷🏻♀️
Growing up female, I also got falsely clocked. There were murmurs about me being a trans girl floating around my school when I was 12 or 13, just because I had a hormonal condition and didn't shave my legs. Misogyny within a lot of transphobia is blatant.
In a rather serious conversation with my brother, I said "if there's a harsh truth, I wanna hear it. I just reserve the right to have my feelings about it."
He said "I don't think I have any harsh truths for you." After a pause he added, "you're going bald".
And I laughed and said "I'm well aware, and I'm thrilled".
(He's cis, I'm trans, we both have lots of great hair still)
There's that quote that goes something like, "God made trans people for the same reason he made grapes but not wine or grain but not bread. So that humans might share in the beauty of creation."
I'm not a particularly religious person, but the quote helps me see the beauty in being trans.
wonderful quote! thanks for sharing it, i love it
@Blue North a pretty silly take, and I'm not convinced it's in good faith
Except if someone disrupts your baking or brewing and degrades your product we can at least start over.
We are just S.O.L. when society disrupts our body or transition and may be stuck with weaker results that prevent us from being fully free of dysphoria.
@@bluenorth3965 nuclear levels of transphobe cope on your part
I love this quote! I'm actually a currently non-practicing Christian (not by choice, had to leave a great church and ended up with a pretty crappy pastor which turned me off of the whole church thing for a bit) and this lines up pretty well with how I understand creation.
The weirdest one I've had to deal with regularly is people saying shit like "oh you're going to have issues finding a partner being trans." Meanwhile I've all ready been married and divorced once and a lot of the people that have said that to me can't keep a partner around to save their life. It's made even funnier when I know there's basically a conga line of women lining up to date me now that I'm transitioning. Hell if any thing my relationships have been the strangest they've been ever because I'm not being a self loathing self destructive fuck wit about life any more.
i'm assuming you mean strongest, not strangest? anyway i appreciate your comment lol i've started to hear these things from people
where are you finding this conga line 😭😭😭
Same lmao. My mother was like "but no woman will want to go out with you, you'll die alone, women want to be comforted (by men)."
If she knew only 1/10th of my romantic life since I started transition...🤣
...turns out feeling aligned and confident in your body is sexy af. Who could have guessed.
Yeah it's amazing how being yourself, confident and free and beautiful, really does a lot to partners who are accepting of the whole trans thing. People who say shit like that are protecting their own feelings about dating trans people into everyone else, not realizing how bigoted they are
@@toriestrella It's a product of confidence, self love, and self improvement. It didn't get better for me either until I got better as a person. That was always the most important thing, trans or cis, but trans culture really values and promotes it.
Framing transition as aging kind of blew my mind. I’m early on in my HRT and while I’ve been eager for most of the changes, some of them have freaked me out a bit. Reframing it as simply aging shattered a lot of my ideas of worth and beauty and suddenly I think I’m in a place where I will process these changes much more healthily.
I never understood the "God didn't mean for you to be this way." argument, because if god doesn't want me to be like this he could easily stop me.
to be fair, creating the universe and then creating and ressurecting Jesus took a lot out of him, and I think he's been resting and regaining his strength the last couple of millennia. so, I'm not sure he could stop you even if he wanted.
@@ajasen my brother in christ that means that god is not omnipotent and his strength is finite that's a weird excuse for a cosmic entity not stepping in on someone's choices that they are allowed to make with their own free will
God didn't want me to wear glasses and look and what I'm doing
When I started HRT a couple years ago my mom called me an "abomination" so I naturally decided to choose "Alia" as my name, the name of the character in Frank Herbert's "Children of Dune" that is also called abomination (that book sucks btw). So I've had a really tenious relationship with how I view my trans body.
But the part in this video about trans art is exactly what I needed to hear. It sucks being trans but we make good company. I'm glad there are great trans creators like you
My chosen name is also rooted in trauma/negativity and I've always wished I had a more positive name.
Do you ever consider changing it? Sometimes I think I should do in not dragging the past with me. Other times it feels empowering to own it.
First, Great name choice though i adore the books. Secondly, why take on the names of trauma? this I don't understand but your choice is your choice. Mine is the name of a character I created to be what I thought was my best self and then a middle name that relates to my daughter's middle name denoting matriarchal lineage....
Anyway there is no one way to cope and I see you for who you are without judgement.
I'm getting the vibe that the trauma derived name was picked at a time when these trans people had just come out and were dealing with alot of bad shit as a sort of fuck you, but now as they've grown they'd like snother one
“That book sucks” that made me chuckle. It is kind of overrated, but I’m glad you found a cool name in it:)
Being trans only sucks because society sucks. If systems were physical things, not abstractions used to describe sets of practices, I'd have burned several to the ground by now.
This is a beautiful video. I’m trans and in my late twenties - so approaching the first sort of scary aging milestone - and this felt like a balm for the creeping anxiety. Amazing what a little shift in perspective can do. Thanks, Lily 🙂
I just realized I'm trans at the age of 37. I can't speak much for the trans experience but I can tell you that 30's being a line you cross is just utter bullshit 😂 And yes I know it feels like a thing because that's what we're taught to feel 😊 But also I think because for cis people around that time is the first big transition.
Now I don't want to presume anything about your experiences, but if you've gone through transitioning, I think you may find turning thirty somewhat, underwhelming?
Although maybe I think this because I'm already an old and can no longer relate to you youngs 😜
@@mikkosaarinen3225 I thought "37, oh wow that's old" then remembered I'm 36 😓 30 was a big milestone for me, the age by which I should have accomplished something, the number after which you're definitely absolutely not a youth any more, and the year by which I should definitely be married with kids (according to my family). It hit pretty hard when it came. Can't say everything's been fantastic since, but at least you lose that pressure to have achieved things before a certain number, so things seem more relaxed.
I prefer to use base 2 milestones. 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, and my next one is 64. Only the truly badass make it all the way to the final milestone at 128 >:D
I wanted to say that I am a Trans Woman who began HRT in February of this year when I was 46 years old (I am now 47 or as I jokingly tell my friends 46 +1) and I am amazed at the changes I have gone through in a little less than a year. I am happier with my body than I have ever been in my life, even when I was a fairly skinny 20 something and though I am turning into a fat old lady, I don't care. I finally feel like this is MY body and I can dress it as I want, embrace my gothy, witchy side (My name -is- Sabrina Lenore after all) and live as myself for the first time. I want people to know that is is NEVER too late to embrace who you really are and don't listen to folks who say HRT does nothing for older bodies. I have more hope for my personal future than I ever have and cannot wait to see the woman I am in 5 years time.
Oh! To live to be old enough to be the goth witch in the cottage on the edge of town.
This is the type of person I strive to become.
🧹
I remember looking into some papers about puberty blockers and seeing hand-wringing over "mermaids admits it isn't fully reversible", but thats entirely because stopping puberty blockers doesn't de-age your body. If you go off them, puberty can resume. But if one's body is in a different state, a different age, than when it started, thats still too far for the anti-trans crowd. Hearing you talk about aging brought that to mind again. Wonderful and crucial video, thank you
Yes, and they're prescribed to non trans kids if puberty is too much too early that it interferes with the kids individual psychosocial development. That's ok with them too. Theyre just not ok if the kid is also trans. Mostly because they actually have no idea what they're talking about.
@@rickwrites2612God, thank you for bringing this up. It’s exactly the same thing as people not realizing that gender affirming healthcare is so, so primarily given to cis people. It’s absolutely baffling that these people genuinely believe what they’re saying, despite all of it being either a flat out lie or something that they’ve tripped themselves into believing. No, Debra, no 5 year old is getting a phalloplasty.. they just wanna wear a Spider-Man shirt instead of a Power Puff girls one.
In my hometown, the psychiatrist who does all the trans related stuff was a big ally to the trans community (may he RIP, as he passed away a few years ago).
There's something he said which really stood out to me. It was along the lines of, "I think some cis people get scared when they realize they are only a hormone prescription away from the opposite sex." I think what he is saying is so on point in regards to where the fear of trans bodies comes from.
If you look at most people who are anti-trans, they are heavily invested in the idea that their gender is what their body is, without conscious self awareness that it is actually who they are as a person. The idea that so many aspects of sexual dimprohism are so changeable with medical technology, or even just presentation alone for that matter, makes them have to grapple with the concpet that the way they are "naturally" is actually just as much of a "choice" for them as they percieve it to be for trans people. The fact that their body can theoretically change so much scares them, because it makes them realize that their choice not to transition is what makes them a man or a woman, and not their body's inherent physical state. The fact that transition is even possible challenges so many of their beleifs and world views.
This makes sense. Seeing how the sausage is made scares the hell out those insecure bigots.
A horomone prescription doesn't change the xy or xx chromosomes in your cells so therefore internally doesn't change your sex. I am fine to call anybody by any pronoun they wish or accept their change in gender but when you suggest that you can change your sexual biology I disagree. I also think there should be a disconnect between gender and sex where sex has to do with your biology gender can be whatever you choose it to be.
@@romanbillings3834 There are some aspects of sexual biology that (for now) remain unchangeable, mainly relating to gametes and reproduction. However, most primary and secondary sex characteristics are perfectly changable with current medical technology. Hormones change most secondary sex characteristics.
Also, chromosomes only affect your sex during a very specific part of gestation when certain genes relating to male or female development are switched "on" or "off". After that, chromosomes have no effect on your sex. It's even possible to change them by means of a bone marrow transplant, and it doesn't change peoples' sex.
@@romanbillings3834 It’s an idiom in English; everyone, particularly a doctor, knows how chromosomes work.
@@romanbillings3834 chromosomes =/= sex. they're one of the many indicators of sex, but if someone has changed literally every other sex characteristic they can change to match that of a different sex, then it's just idiotic to keep referring to them as you did before. sex can be changed 99% of the way.
I live in a conservative homophobic country so I never heard of trans people until a few years ago. When I figured out I'm queer after months of denying a crush I had and the signs I had before, I tried to figure out what my sexuality is. I figured I was pan ace after searching then I stumbled onto gender identity and I was like "you can be another gender!?". My reaction was not transphobia, it was interest. I then got more aligned with the queer community and was exposed to amazing trans people and so I was educated about transphobia. I'm so happy I got information from the queer community and not some bigot. I'm glad I was open-minded to learn about people in the community I recently got into. I'm starting to question my gender and it's scary to be honest.
Dehumanising anyone is disturbing; people forget trans people are humans too. The misinformation going around is so dangerous.
It’s interesting reading comments like yours, because I’m an afab, cis woman, and even though I have crushes on other women (I identify as bisexual) and don’t always like wearing makeup or always having my nails done, I still *feel* like a woman. After my partner came out as trans, their trans identity helped to confirm my own cis identity, that even though I may come off to others as masculine sometimes (I’ve been asked if I am a trans woman, possibly because I have PCOS and hirsutism and don’t always hide it) inside I have always felt like a woman and never identified as a man. To me, this only confirms how true trans identities are, because if I can live my whole life a “tom boy,” but still *feel* like a woman, than I am actually more inclined to believe other people when they say they *feel* like their gender identity. I say all this to say that if you are even questioning your gender identity that’s probably a pretty good sign. But I of course can’t tell you your identity! Nobody else can tell you how you feel or who you are! Only *you* know who you are! I wish you great luck on your self identity journey. ❤
I am glad you support the use of the word transsexual.
A lot of people right now are against the use of that word, and to me it feels dehumanizing to say I can never describe myself as transsexual.
I think to lots of people it sounds outdated or inaccurate, but I’m sure the majority of those people are happy for you to self describe however you like.
Describe yourself as YOU see fit! That is the ONLY description of YOU that actually matters! The whole notion of “correcting” someone when they are describing themselves in their own words and using their own self-identified labels just seems very presumptuous to me. I, PERSONALLY, am more comfortable with “transgender” for myself, at least as someone whom identifies as non-binary, as I feel this identity is much more about my gender identity than my sexuality (my sexuality is it’s own heap of a hot mess due to growing up immersed in Evangelical Fundamentalism and 1980s early Purity Culture as a child and the things they felt entitled to subject children to in order to try and erase, then poison, our innate sexuality beginning at puberty). But I would NEVER correct another for using the term “transsexual” to describe themselves as that is THEIR chosen term and ONLY they can possibly know what terms and labels best fit them! By all means, I hope anyone and everyone who feels “transsexual” to be the better descriptive term may forever feel comfortable with and free to use the term without our community, or any other, trying to correct them!
Imo not all transgender people are transexual, but all transexual people are transgender. It just has to do with the amount of dysphoria you deal with and how you choose to treat it. People instinctually go with the least invasive treatments, which makes sense. Some people don't need a complete sex change to feel happy living as their correct gender. That's why I think the word transexual still has a place in our vocabulary. It's important to use when making a distinction between two different types of treatment. Whether or not people use it in a context of harassing trans people has nothing to do with if it's a useful word. In my experience, when it's used negatively it's often used along the same lines as asking if you've had surgery yet. It's a rude question in most contexts, not a rude word.
I love using it as a joke, especially given it was on my NHS medical record 🥴 I think it can also be helpful in some contexts to foreground the fluidity of sex characteristics. But personally I prefer the term "transgender" even though I could claim "transsexual" if I wanted. That's mostly because I see some trans people use it as an artificial status symbol - you're only trans if you have certain medical interventions - and I feel like that has a risk of playing right into the TERF handbook. Full bodily autonomy means making *not* medically transitioning as valid and valorous a decision as transitioning and (in the spirit of this video) vice versa. But as long as it's used without it's transmedicalist implications, its a good word
Transsexual seems more accurate to me anyways, because my gender didn’t change, I was the gender I was born as. I’m changing what I can of my secondary sex characteristics. Then again not al trans people want or need to transition so it’s not like all trans people are changing their sex characteristics. There’s also the argument that you’re transitioning gender as in you’re changing your status in society to that of another gender, which I guess you could consider transing your gender. One very outdated term I wish I could reclaim is “h*rmaphrodite” because it’s like “am I more like Hermes or Aphrodite, dunno but I’m still sexy”
Hyped for this one. Your videos have been tremendously helpful to me in navigating some of the conversations I've had to have about my, "transness," with people this year. A little over year after starting hrt now, and I'm owning the heck out of my body. :). Hoping for the best next year too.
Honestly, baldness was a slap in the face to me. I thought I was emotionally ready but I wasn't. But I faced my discomfort, and I survived, and I'm fine now. Baldness involves a certain sort of grief that is already hard for people who know it's on the way since early childhood, and even harder for trans men who have been prepared for and expecting permanent hair. It's a rug that gets pulled out from under you. So much social value is in hair. I wept. I shaved. I went on finasteride, then thought better of it. I grew my hair out again. I might even grow it long, have a mane. And when I look in the mirror now, it's not bad. Just different. In fact, good-different. I look more manly now. And I look experienced. I'm a survivor and a warrior. I'm an adult man. I SHOULD be balding. It feels right. And despite the lower social currency, I look good. And I will still look good when it all goes gray, or all goes away, and I have wrinkles and liver spots. Because my eyes are bright and sharp, I have style, and I have the weight of adventure on me. I am a person. My personhood is a limitless beacon of light that will never devalue. I respect my path and I respect others walking similar paths. I love myself. And if nobody else ever loves me but me, so be it. But people do love me, and their love inspires me. I will keep trucking until I am absolutely forced to stop.
This is magnificent. Thank you for sharing.
Hell yeah dude, this was so inspiring to read
im 6 months on T and something that really stuck with me is how much being thought of living as a bald guy still makes me go :)
Bald is beautiful ❤
I wish dudes wearing wigs wasn't shamed so much so people could have that option. Also lots of dudes look really damn good bald
The ironic part of the whole "when archeologists dig you up they won't care what gender you identified as" argument is that archeologists literally dig to understand the culture of the time and figure out how people lived their lives. They would 100% care about understanding people's gender identity, and assuming this is far in the future would likely have technology that would allow them to much better examine and understand the remains and artifacts they find.
also archaeologists are not always certain about the sex of the skeletons. They are often wrong, and sometimes just make an educated guess based on what else they know about the skeleton/the persons life
@@benjaminsmith3645 exactly
It also strikes me as a bizarre argument to make because, like, even if the body is question belonged to a cisgender person... well, by their logic, they wouldn't care about their gender then, either. What were we talking about again?
And, like
Even if they didn't
I won't care, I'll be dead
Not done with the video yet but I absolutely /love/ how you can't win the "fertility argument". I'm a trans guy who plans on having a kid with my own uterus and I will not be seen as more valid or "better for society" than a trans person who is infertile or plans to have sxs that would make them infertile. I will in all likelihood be seen as a monster, swollen belly and breasts like a pregnant cis woman while still possessing body hair and facial hair and a deeper voice. Most transphobic people would rather I be sterilized than give birth post t changes (which I will have to go off of to maintain a pregnancy). They only care about fertility in the context of being cis because after you have a "visibly trans body" they don't want anything to do with you
Trans archaeologist here, and it's legitimately hilarious to me how little transphobes understand gender in archaeology. I mean, it's taught in North America as a subset of anthropology, and is currently going through a postmodern turn, as a lot of social sciences are. On a theory level: queer archaeology is thriving and we actively interrogate assumptions we project on human remains and burials all the time. It's an important ongoing discussion.
On a more practical level: archaeology is all about context. Our goal isn't to just rip stuff out of the ground and stick a F or M label on it and call it a day. I don't think people realize how much gender is embodied in our material culture. There's even a (relatively) famous study that attempts to reconstruct the gender politics of a particular village through distributional pottery analysis lol. If you're approaching a culture that recognizes trans people, even as a marginalized minority, why on earth would you not include that in your interpretation of finds? lil tangent but I could go on about this for hours.
Yeah, the skeleton argument has always seemed particularly weak to me, as it's an open admission of ignorance.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but sex determination from the bones is also like 80% effective, unless specific body parts are conserved as well, right?
Regardless, the idea that a field that is as closely associated with anthropology as archaeology wouldn't recover more than just the evidence of a diseased person's sex is just laughable. But I also think it's pretty important, as it highlights, through projection, that those people genuinely think that the most important aspect of a body, of a former person is their sex, which is quite something.
A trans woman who's dabbling in archeology in Israel/Palestine/cnaan whatever, and here queer archeology is not much of a thing despite GNC queer trans etc examples existing in the area, but people's bones are usually shattered when you find them to a point where it's super unindicative. And they'll prob care more about burial process to determine culture than your gender. (Also here archeologists don't touch supposedly Jewish tombs and graves but like at most periods there's no indication)
@@radiofloyd2359 Female and male pelvic bones are structured different, therefor, yes, someone digging up skeletons can say, "This person was a woman, and that person was a man."
Whether or not those people in life identified themselves as such is a different matter.
@@Zinervawyrm Not how archeology works.
People take a look at cultural evidence AND physical evidence.
They sex the bones. Absolutely.
They do not, however, usually assign a gender to the bones without, again, cultural markers AS WELL.
Okay but as someone who was obsessed with archaeology as a kid and is now a fruit, queer archaeology sounds so cool and fun
So sad, that one day, archeologists will dig up my bones and find out, that I was only a skeleton, pretending to be a human, all along
I’m a cis woman that’s been called trans on more than one occasion because of both my low register voice and my insanely snatched jawline. I don’t care. I politely tell them I’m cis, but that if I were trans it would make no difference.
People have to grow up and cast their ego aside so they can see how much things like accepting trans individuals helps broader society. It’s a good thing when people feel accepted and included for who they are.
It sucks that you have to deal with that. Kind of illustrative on how deep transphobia is entrenched that even cis people have to deal with it overtly 😑
Trouble with oppression is that it has nothing to do with immaturity and everything to do with control. People oppress other people because it benefits them. They're not going to stop either until they're forced to.
Thank you for sharing your experience though ❤️ I have a ridiculous amount of anxiety and internalised transphobia about transitioning to femme. Having grown up during the worst of the trans women = gross period has clearly left scars. But it brings me a lot comfort to hear examples of women who have all kinds of bodies. Little by little I'm starting to believe I'll be ok 😊 And yes I do rationally understand that women with more angular facial features exist, but we humans are kinda shit in that we don't actually believe rationality 😂 So having a person to relate to helps make it emotionally true and thus easier to internalise. I've no idea why I wrote this out so broadly but guess I'm just feeling wordy today 😄
Anyways thanks and have a great 2023! Or at least as good a 2023 as is possible in this latestage capitalist dystopian hellscape 😅 2023, the reason we can't have nice things? Told you I was feeling wordy. For some reason I feel compelled to just keep going even though the joke got old literally before it was born but I think for the sake of my sanity and yours (whoever you are? who are you? Really? And why are you reading this nonsense?) I should probably quit although not before, just as a price if you actually read this far,
You're a cool person, worthy of love from both yourself and the people around you ❤️
I like the approach Lady Gaga took when asked about the "allegations" of her being trans/having a penis. She just went "Does it matter? My fans don't care and neither do I" without ever answering the question whether she was or wasn't trans.
I've been called trans as well and have been threatened in bathrooms. A for Awkward would be a major understatement.
So why correct them if it doesn't matter? You don't really want people thinking you are a man
@@kimmmwest4641 its because the people are using "you are trans" as an accusation, as a form of harassment. It's not that "being trans" is bad, it's that *being harassed* isn't pleasant. And for cis women, they're able to quickly denounce the label of "trans woman", a label that's so often used as ammunition/justification for harassment. I'm a trans woman, and I'm open about my trans identity to the people around me. I love being trans and wouldn't trade it for the world, and even then there are still times when I wish I could drop the label; not because I dislike the label itself, but because *I don't like being harassed because of it*.
I've never thought that more than half an hour of constant "memento mori" would make me so hopeful... And so proud of being a trans person!
Interpreting transitioning (medically or not) as just a means to make us feel like ourselves while we still can is a powerful Idea. I probably won't be able to live by it anytime soon because of my far-right family, but eventually I will break free from them.
P.S
I'm honestly tired of all the gaslighting my family tries to do to me: for example, my own mom told me to my face that the idea that Autistic people are physically incapable of having empathy is an opinion as valid and worthy of respect as any other. I'm Autistic, so that made me LIVID. She told me to reflect on my actions because my anger was a "baseless overreaction"... Before things went sour, I'd calmly and politely asked her to drop the conversation and tried to leave, but even that was called aggressive and unreasonable, so i did what was expected from me and blew up.
Does she know ANYTHING about autism?! The rest of the bastards are the ones without empathy! To the point where actually communicating with them is really difficult.
@EeveeMart My mother's side of the family was raised by a highly patriarchal, White Supremacist man who emotionally abused my grandmother (a woman with MANY strong internalized prejudices) at every opportunity for a literal half-century. Their respective families weren't exactly functional either. Thus, it's absolutely no wonder to me that their whole side of the family tree is filled with traumatized far-right-leaning people, or outright far-righters.
In fact, my mother said the exact same thing as her sister, a woman who has always voted center-left but has internalized SO MUCH BS about minorities that in general she can be considered far-right in all but vote. Humans are waaay too complex for our own good...
As a young transgender male who will unfortunately have to grow up in the face of all the dehumanization, outside disgust towards my body and my identity, and being told "well what if you want to have a baby?" and "what will happen to those pretty breasts?", I truly appreciate this video. I have been on testosterone for two years now as a minor, and I live in an area where it has been threatened for my parents to be considered felons for providing me with this treatment. Even while completely passing as a boy, to the point where people are incredibly confused upon revealing my situation with being transgender, I still face backlash from people who have not known me for more than a few minutes asking: "well, what if you change your mind?"
In truth, the times before I transitioned were some of the darkest times imaginable. I did everything to hide my body and crush any trace of femininity. Necklaces, bracelets, rings, flowery shirts, the color pink... anything that could be associated with my assigned sex. I will say my body was ugly. Not because I wanted to be different, but because I fit awkwardly into it. Hardly anybody saw more than my face or hands because I was always wearing hoodies and sweatpants to conceal every curve. My body was ugly because I did not embrace it and did not love it for what it was.
Two years later, I stand here. Bent, not broken. Scarred, but beautiful. My body is beautiful because I love my body now. I love who I have become, I love every moment of it. Even without any surgeries or operations. Every hardship and every back-handed question is worth enduring because I love my body. Recently, I've spent time in front of the mirror in few clothes to simply look at myself because I had always been repulsed by the idea previously. I wear less baggy clothing. I wear rings, bracelets, earrings, and necklaces. Hell, I even occasionally wear nail polish. I've embraced the femininity once more and allowed myself to embrace it because I truly believe in my own beauty, no matter what other people think.
But my philosophy is this: your body is not ugly because that is what other people agree on, and in the same way your body is not beautiful because others think so. Your body is beautiful if you love your body, and you should love your body. Because even if it's flawed in countless ways, even if it betrays your mind and reminds you of what people think you "should have been", every person has the right to love their body. Even if it takes a while, even if it takes a dozen procedures and changes, everybody has the right to feel happy in their own skin.
To those who ask if I change my mind? I am fully confident that I won't. This change has made me love myself for who I am, finally, after over a decade of hating every part about myself. And whatever you go through to make you love your own body should not be the target of prejudice from others.
On a completely unrelated note, your voice is incredibly soothing, and I will love to see more of your videos [:
Your wording is beautiful, it made me think and almost brought me to tears. I wish someday that I can start T too, I long for that happiness in myself. The congruence that’s missing. Even though I’m in a good place mentally, physically, and am at peace with my femininity, I can’t deny that I just don’t feel quite like me yet.
So real. I'm glued to my mirror now, obsessed with how much I can love myself
"What will happen to those pretty breasts?" Bruh! You were a kid wtf?!?
My very supportive mom (50s, cis, bi) is good at making jokes about my trans body! I've gotten such gems from her as "You're a 30 year old with an 18 year old's tits, that's better than being young" and "The best part of this is our bathroom stopped smelling like piss and balls".
Haha she seems awesome 😂
thats very silly im happy for you
Gross.
incredible lol
we love a supportive mom don't we folx
@@debra-sue yeah, but why save time typing out "folks"? it's one extra letter
As a trans person, you are either imperfect (I which case you are proof that transition is damaging) or you are perfect (in which case you are a deceiver). Arguments against transition based on appearance or ‘damage’ are inherently hypocritical because it’s a lose-lose situation.
Joke's on you transphobes, you won't be able to judge my bones up after I get cremated.
Thank you for mentioning trans men. I often feel forgotten in videos make by anyone but trans men
Thankfully I've been seeing a lot more representation for trans guys on youtube, even from cis allies, so hopefully that's changing. I recently started following Jammidodger, he's a pretty funny trans fellow here on the youtubs.
I like FinnTheInFinncible too. A lot of his recent content has been around non trans things, but he is such a ray of sunshine!
i personally see much more transmasc than transfem representation lately
@@angelicidio I’d say it depends on the platform; reddit is mostly transfem oriented, and twitter/tiktok is mostly nonbinary/transmasc oriented. I’ve been on all three.
@@augustoof13 I think the same. I've been in fandom-y communities based around cartoons and queer content on twitter and the few young trans girls there felt really neglected when it came to discussion and general acknowledgement. meanwhile in spaces with older users trans guys aren't usually discussed
I'm a cis woman, but the part where you talked about fertility and reproduction hit so hard for me, as someone who doesn't want to have kids. I've known that I don't want kids since I was a teenager, and have expressed to many people that I hope to one day get my tubes tied or a hysterectomy so I don't ever have to worry about my birth control failing getting pregnant. The majority of people react with concern and disappointment at best, or legit disgust at worst. It's very disheartening that they only care about my ability to reproduce.
I'm also childfree and the amount of concern trolling I get is horrendous, same as you.
But stay strong with it, I find it important to assert myself (in a calm, firm, way) so these "concerned" folk see that I'm not someone who will be bullied into submission anymore. I let that go on too long in the past. But only if you feel comfortable ofc, it took me years to gain the confidence.
its not even the end of the world if you want to have kids later as well, I feel like people forget adoption exists lol
@@riker8146 adoption isn’t an infallible solution nor is it identical to rearing your biological child from birth. there are many parties involved and it is naive to expect it to hold out for you when it is such a strict process already. I don’t want to discourage going on HRT but be aware of the sacrifices you’re making because you’d be harming the adoptee to act as if it’s the golden solution. You need to set appropriate expectations
You are valid sis, I’m cis but I don’t want to get pregnant cuz I have a chronic illness that I don’t want to pass this pain to a new little person, so I’m decided that I would adopt when the time comes if it comes, and I think that’s valid too, people shouldn’t be pressured to having babies,this isn’t like the 20 century and before when they needed to have a lot of children cuz tragically some won’t survive, and it’s not like humanity would desappear for people deciding not having kids and trans people existing, like c mon, climate change is more urgent, better if they are less kids
Too bad your parents didn't think like you but at least you'll be removing yourself from the gene pool.
this is definitely a topic that needs to be spoken about more. i find your videos so easy to understand, watch and digest - there's an element of calmness that doesn't make difficult topics too overwhelming whilst delivering in a intriguing way. thank you for another amazing video
You are one of my favorite trans RUclipsrs, in the league of Abigail Thorne, Natalie Wynn and Mia Muldaur. You are knowledgeable and communicative. To tell you the truth, I assumed you were AFAB and non-binary when I first saw you, not there is anything wrong with that. 😊 As a trans woman who transitioned in the 1970s I still can learn a lot from you. Keep up the good work.
@@diydylana3151 That’s pretty much what I said.
You might like Jessie Gender. She's a massive star trek nerd. Also Jammidodger, dude does a lot of meme content and is pretty funny.
@@eatshitlarrypage.3319 I follow both of them.
My gender identity (as it stands) is much more masculine than feminine, even if I’m technically “trans feminine.” Thus I’ve already experienced gatekeeping and people discussing the irreparable damage I could do to my body
But being trans has made me more religious or spiritual, in a way: I feel like as I transition I’m becoming closer to the spiritual unity that I always strived for through the unification-distillation of my body and mind. It feels like my transness is bringing me closer to God and transition is almost a divine opportunity
You’re probably one of the best creators on this platform right now Lily. Thank you so much
Im in a similar boat, im gender nihilist and after an intense and emotional psilocybin trip i came to realize that. It stopped me in a way from worrying about feeling like my body is something to hide due to not being anywhere on the construct. Im hindu with a thelemic influenced philosophy. myself so it helps that texts dont describe lgbt topics as wrong or sinful, but rather natural and joyous. Even thelemas founder Aleister Crowley was a bisexual and experimental drug user. It helped me get closer to my perception of brahmanism and true enlightenment. In november i remember feeling like i should take hormones to feel like i fit in and i realized unlike alot of trans people, it wouldnt be something that would make me feel more, me. My body wont be fully natural by the means of nature in of itself, but it will be in terms of introspection and living life in the present
NOTE: the bathroom symbols for "man" and "woman" can only be differentiated by clothing. By the way, I love your voice. Mine is just so deep.
It always made me wonder what bathroom symbols look like in Scotland.
A lot of issues would be solved if we just stopped segregating the rooms. There's just no reason for it, other than to avoid 'feeling creepy' because it violates a social convention.
Not all of them, I’ve seen quite a few with heads as the symbol. Infact a neat little tidbit, is that the Canadian navy calls the bathrooms “the heads” because of this, although that’s just a traditional thing and they have unisex bathrooms because if your on a boat you don’t have time to search for the right one.
@@vylbird8014 the reason is that alot of women (including trans) are uncomfortable around men
@@Magikarp_With_Dragonrage Very interesting. I suppose that would work for them only if they require "men" to keep their hair short? Or is it based on the shape of hat on the head?
The whole idea of "they will know your sex by your bones" is INSANE! They never seem to get to the part where I won't care, because I'll be DEAD!
yeah, they act like its a “gotcha” but when im dead, i wont be there to hear it, i literally wont be able to care
They wouldn't even be able to tell too, they keep ignoring archaeologists who say "It doesn't work like that, it's really hard to tell by bones if you can at all and we just guess based off context clues."
@@bloo_jahy worst part is I have huge hips and my skeleton would seem more feminine like not only does it not work like that but even if it did I would pass
They're also forgetting the large amount of people who get cremated.
Epitome of sounds like a you issue
hi, this is my old alt account, but i’m glad I found you on here. i’m a 20 year old trans woman and i’ve been struggling so badly with my body recently. this video made me breakdown and reanalyze and thoughts. i’m so deeply appreciative of you and all that you provide here in this video. I want to define myself and my transition this new year, and this is certainly what I needed to make that happen
Thank you, The Real Bernie Sanders™ :]
As a trans guy, thank you so much for vocalizing how shitty the transmisandry has been. I grew up feeling like meat on a market stall, and not much has changed with terf rhetoric. My body is not a factory. My womb is not a democracy. My fertility is MINE, and if I value it less than transition, so be it. The public loses nothing, because it never belonged to them. In general, trans people are not subservient to cis people, and do NOT owe them obedience... We're not here to be herded and legislated upon and subject to medicine by jury. It's so... ENTITLED.
And am I crazy here or did feminism already cover all this???
It's GOOD to not want to be defined by your uterus if you're a woman, or object to people acting like motherhood is the best thing that could ever happen to a woman....
But if you're a man suddenly that goes out the window?
Women should be allowed to do anything that men can do EXCEPT if it's growing a beard and taking testosterone?
#MYBODYMYCHOICE unless it's a permanent arrangement, then it's everybody else's business?
Are people abandoning feminism specifically when it comes to trans people?
Is someone being trans so heinous that you have to reverse your ideology?
Or, as some of us have suspected... Are terfs really just not feminists at al?
Exactly. It’s so gross that these people feel entitled to our fertility. It’s almost as if they believe our bodies have only one function (giving birth), and if we don’t do that function, we’re somehow disgusting and disgraceful.
Lily here creating another banger, trying to get me to confront my inner most demons when trying to be real with myself fr fr. Can't wait.
I hope this is as flattering as I mean it to be, but your voice doesn't sound forced or unnatural at all. It's very soft and pleasant.
The aging part of this is so interesting to me because before I started testosterone I didn't feel like a man in the body of a woman, I felt like a man in the body of a little boy. I was 19 and felt fully prepubescent despite having already gone through afab puberty. I wanted to age because it was extremely distressing to feel like my body was that much younger than the rest of me, the comparison I always draw is to Claudia in Interview with the Vampire
God yes! im in the situation you used to be in, and i feel just. unfinished. My face is fine, but it doesn't feel *done*
According to a Stanford Medicine article, more than 3.5 million American children are treated for sports injuries each year. In fact, nearly 1/3 of injuries to children under 14 in the USA are sports related, as are 21% of all traumatic brain injuries in American children.
Many children are also encouraged or even pressured by adults to engage in sports and even to incorporate them into their identity. Strangely enough, I don't recall anyone campaigning about the horrors of coaches grooming kids for the irreparable damage of being athletes. 🤔 We seem to be totally fine with people of any age risking life and limb when the behavior is considered mainstream.
yep, they only see you as damaged because you got rid of something they like. transphobes are perverts and seem to really care about the breasts of trans men, hmmm
The people sooo worried about the danger of trans women in women's sports or around children were surprisingly quiet when female gymnists spoke about being abused by sports medicine staff (Larry Nassar) , some of them children
A lot of today's transphobia reminds me of a very specific strain of old-school homophobia. People talk a lot about restrictive/toxic behavioural norms for AMAB people and, while I'm sure all that exists, it wasn't really my experience - growing up as a gay boy back in the day, the homophobia was almost exclusively about visceral disgust at the (supposed) physical reality of male homosexuality - endless jokes about AIDS & anal sex, plus a general revulsion at both the concept of male-male attraction and, especially, any physical act of male-male intimacy, even kissing. I don't remember ever being shamed for un-masculinity but I *definitely* internalized a sense that liking other boys was ugly & distasteful, and that I owed straight people gratitude for generously tolerating my existence.
Plot twist: I turned out to be trans (& pan - apparently liking girls was an option all along🤣), but cracked my egg late in life, just in time for the current wave of transphobia. So now there's an entirely new set of arguments as to why my body & way I want to live in it are ugly & dangerous, albeit with the dial turned up a little higher this time (the current trans panic is definitely louder & angrier than any anti-gay stuff I experienced in the 80s & 90s).
The "what a waste of a beautiful/fertile girl" for trans men sounds just like the one i got when i told people im a lesbian
Just shows that for them women arent anything if we're not with a man passing along his last name, we're a waste or incomplete
Abigail's video was torture to watch. I wept, even though it told me nothing i didn't already know. But it pains to have it spoken. But that pain is necessary
As an American, Abigail's video was fascinating, and told me a lot I didn't know. It made me very thankful to be in California.
I'm a Trans woman and I gotta say... this is a fantastic watch. The Eugenics stuff scares the crap out of me. I'm gonna go ahead and support Nebula.
Yeah for real I’m just so scared of growing up in a world that will try to get rid of me. I feel like if anything happened that stopped the normal flow of society like a natural disaster I would be murdered for wanting to be a girl. If things keep going like they are I’m scared I might just lose access to hrt. I just want to live as a girl
I was a life long medical patient before I transitioned… my health (both mental and physical) has actually improved thanks to transitioning.
Lately there’s been a lot of terfs saying that HRT with testosterone will make you bald and miserable, that it’s unavoidable to look like you’re in your 40s when you’re a trans man on HRT.
Yet I’ve been on T for two years and I’ve only noticed good changes to my body, not even just gender affirming, aesthetically aswell.
I hate this fearmongering saying that HRT will only ever give you a bad outcome, sure there might be downsides, but who even gets to decide that a body is bad.
Plus none or these terfs would support AMABs going on hormone blockers to stop them from being bald and miserable. It has never been about concern for children, only about oppressing trans ppl
I feel the current society's view on baldness and other aging side effects is crazy, be it on a cis or a trans body, people talk about those like the end of one's life and i don't think it was this much the case a few decades ago? To me it feels like the whole world (or at least the part of it that's very online and capitalistic) has a society wide peter pan syndrome which is nothing but unhealthy and is the cause of so many problems including projection of their own insecurities on trans people
I've taken testosterone for over 6 years, and my hair hasn't thinned ONE bit. And probaly won't until I'm 50+. Hair loss is genetic. Male hormones only trigger the genes. So if someone has issues with trans men going bald, they have issues with baldness itself. Cis men also go bald because testosterone triggers their genetic potential for baldness.
Watched it on Nebula yesterday and it was sooo so good!!
oh my god this video is just... as a medically transitioning trans man it really strikes a chord. I have nothing to add. it really needed to be said. You're very well spoken (and also I'm obsessed with your hair). Thank you for making this video.
You are a lantern in the gloom. I think (for my own part, at least) that all of us trans people are to one another, but some are exceptionally bright. Thanks so much for illuminating these entirely overlooked corners of our lives and experiences ❤️
Btw, I never felt like I was dying during transition. But before transition I definitely could feel my life quickly slipping away as I got older in a body I didn't recognize as my own.
Anyway, to bastardize a quote from a famous author "I'm not in the business of making cis people feel comfortable."
Absolutely! Before I started I would have nights I felt like I was dying slowly but surely. Recently I’ve been so excited to stay alive it’s shocking, invigorating, and so lovely
Yesss just the dread of knowing every day brought me further from having any chance of ever passing was terrifying. I think I was pretty lucky I got to begin transitioning before most of my body hair developed so I’m glad I could avoid some of that.
I feel this. I transitioned at almost 30 and have known I was trans for probably 21 years before that... For years I existed in 'the meat.' Now it gets to be 'my meat.' I still don't love it. Maybe I never will. It could be that that ship has sailed for me on some psychological level. It doesn't bother me.
But now I can own it. It can be *my* meat. And that's a big difference. Agency matters.
the latter half of the video about trans art just made me feel a mini explosion of emotions. ive been having so much trouble with being trans recently that was just so nice
WASTE ISOLATION by Black Dresses is such a delicious and cathartic dose of pathos for me every once in awhile.
Thank you so much for this! I just re-watched your What Is a Woman video, which is still fantastic, but this one might be even better. Your art gives me so much strength and resolve to move on (and forward), to be reminded of how much beauty there is in this tragic world (don't want to say "ugly" due to the subject matter). It is a privilege to live in the same time as you, Lily, and people who want us to disappear are burying themselves in spitit, and I pity them. It is a kind of moral deformity to be so engaged and animated by genocidal agitation, but things are turning around regardless of their best efforts (back in the day they didn't have to be so venomous, and now they're already losing). Happy new year, let's hope it's our best yet!
i grew up in an abusive family. my mother abandoned us with an alcoholic abuser .and my father kicked me out at 16 for being gay though i didnt know it at the time. i grew up thinking i was damaged. because i had my childhood stolen from me. i am in a great place now. just subbed to your channel. thanks for your hard work and knowledge. much love!x
As an Irish person I giggled when I saw your unionism disclaimer, that's very cute of u thank you :)
"if this is what it means to be broken i think that more people should break" idk why but that just hit me so much i love that quote
Kinda reminds me of the Knights Radiant from the Stormlight Archive, a person has to break before they can be filled with power.
Today I learned as a 28 year old woman of trans experience, that I am literally death incarnate. THATS SO METAL! Hell yeah, Awesome video, I loved this, good work.
Trans people are modern monks, confirmed! In all seriousness, it's interesting how in the past, things like celibacy and non-reproduction were once viewed as virtuous, or at the very least it was understood that people could benefit humanity in other ways or roles beyond providing offspring. It does worry me that that perspective is being overlooked, perhaps there is something to learn there?
A trans comedian, Jordan Gray recently stripper live on telly in the UK and even though it was just flashing for the laughs, it honestly impacted me on such an emotional level, to see a clear representation of a trans body, not as something perverted, "mutilated" or dangerous but as ordinary and funny and beautiful
That's perverted, I'm not on board with flashers, they are taking away my consent to not see random people's junk.
@@gypsylee333 If you chose to watch the video then it's your own fucking fault mate. Was it perverted when President Zelensky did exactly the same thing?
How is it ordinary?
@@mo.ka.9661 I suppose you have to watch the show to get it? I haven't, but from what I have read, the nudity was part of an intentionally over-the-top finale that concluded the show.
@@vylbird8014 how is flashing children ordinary?
Holy shit. 6 minutes in and this is one of the best videos I’ve seen this year. In addition to the emotional impact of the subject, the script is excellent and the sweetness of your voice honestly makes it pretty haunting.
Great video and many thanks - one quick correction about CIS women HRT is that they don't take HRT to remain youthful, but to prevent hot flushes, difficulty sleeping, night sweats, mood swings, thinning of vaginal walls (causing pain and infection), etc. there are also some cosmetic things it helps with but these symptoms alone can be quite debilitating so it's good to acknowledge! In the UK, Cis-Women are currently prescribed oestrogen for menopause, but not T, even though T also drops during menopause, and there's evidence that replacing this would improve/treat negative impacts of menopause - loss of memory , stamina, muscle mass, libido and concentration. I don't want to presume, but I wonder if it's impacted by a similar fear to the transphobic idea of 'damaging' or 'risky' to take hormones seen as 'not for your sex' (even though we literally all have all of these hormones in our bodies and all of us need them).
Love this video (as always) and also really needed this now. So so proud to be a patron ❤️
The thing that really struck me when I started transition was the sort of radical mundanity of it all, if that makes sense.
Like being trans or even just wearing gender-affirming clothes was so loaded in my mind that when I finally transitioned socially and medically (i.e. gave myself permission to be me) I was so surprised at how little actually changed materially. Like, I cannot emphasize this enough, yes we go through a lot of hardship, but also day to day life is often boring and mundane and full of like...eating sandwiches lol
Like in the back of my head I have this silly fantasy of a transphobe, or even my parents, just seeing me eat mac and cheese alone in my apartment like a normal fucking person and realize it's just not that big a deal.
Being queer in general is just, like, lowkey kind of boring, or at least, not nearly as sensational as its made out to be, such that actually doing it almost feels like the gag where the characters are afraid of a monster's shadow and it's actually a teddy bear or whatever
This video does a really good job of grounding our bodies in the lived mundanity of them and desensationalizing what we do and are while still acknowledging the struggle. Because even in a world with no transphobia parts of this are still hard, physically and mentally. And there's the anxiety of cis people too; "why would you do this to yourself" i.e. "why would you choose to do something difficult, uncomfortable, and risky."
Fundamentally they're expressing an anxiety at both ceding and taking control of our bodies/futures. Which seems like a contradiction (and they are in tension) but to me speaks to the fundamental impulse for conservatism; trusting the future to the (imagined) past and doubling down on the most controllable tendencies. Which is a cope. Right? Like it's a trauma response that can genuinely keep you safe in certain circumstances but isn't sustainable long-term. It's a lack of trust in oneself. It's metaphysics are one where self-trust cannot exist.
What scares everyone about us is that we choose to live anyway. Not just be alive, but follow our desires and actually fucking live; that we're not actually destroying ourselves even when we do go through pain (which we very much do), that pain and hurt are part of life too and that in trying to be our most ideal possible selves, we preclude that very thing from becoming reality
i don't usually comment, but wow that was such an incredible watch! i am a cis woman and i feel that i can learn so much about my womanhood by listening to my trans sisters. i especially found the thought about aging and the fear of losing your usefulness (as well as projecting that fear to other people) very thought provocing!
I swear Lily, you're videos are some of my favorite videos lately. Your writing is so well done and eloquent. ❤
That means a lot! Thanks :)
i've been on testosterone for about five years now and i've recently made the decision to stop because i'm comfortable with the changes i've seen and don't want anything else to change. i started t when i was 18 and now that i'm off of it, i've realized that i have no idea which changes are due to transitioning and which ones are just my body growing out of adolescence. i've been having some insecurities as of late which i've hoped that going off of testosterone would help alleviate (though i haven't been off of it for long enough yet to know if that's the case), but this video really helped me realize that a lot of those insecurities have a lot more to do with aging than with masculinity. that thing you said about how being trans means we play a hand in our own aging process put things into perspective for me. i still think going off of testosterone is the right choice for me, but this has made me feel a little better about some of the things that come with getting older
watched this on nebula but needed to say "if this is what it means to be broken... more people should break" just hit me rlly hard. love this video ❤
They only see a problem with “changing your body from its natural state” when it’s trans people. Nobody is outraged and disturbed by people getting braces, to change their teeth. Or people getting surgeries to remove tumors.
Or 16 year olds getting boob jobs, but god forbid an AFAB person wants to get rid of theirs at 16, now that's a line too far!
The Nebula + Curiosity Stream sale actually ends January 2nd, sorry for the mistake.
Sign up while you can! Do it for gender!
curiositystream.com/lilyalexandre
(Also, with love, please don't leave negative comments about anybody's appearance. I understand the urge, especially when it's someone you judge as shitty, but that's not really the atmosphere I want in these comments.)
Hey I just signed up with this and it isn't giving me access to Nebula :( It says I need to sign up for "Premium" to get that...
Wait never mind I just got an email telling me to set a password for Nebula. Wow, they should really clear that up on the account page.
@@xereeto Did you pick the annual plan? You should be getting an email soon from Nebula with info on how to log in!
Haha before I could send my comment 😅 anyway I’m glad
accidently did the monthly. changed to the yearly, but it still says i have to upgrade to the premium to get nebula. *sigh*
already watched on nebula - fantastic work !!!
same here! props to lily for another fantastic video!
honestly, this might be my favorite video essay on trans identity (or, I guess, trans embodiment) extremely well done!!
i wrote this elsewhere but i think there's another element of projection in the transphobic enmonstering of the trans body-- i genuinely think that obsessive transphobia rots the mind and mutilates the soul. and transphobes on some level know this, but can't admit to it, so they transfer the metaphorical wounds and decay from themselves to trans peoples' bodies, as physical marks of stigma.
Weren‘t there many cases of archeological findings where they completely mislabeled the skeletons because it’s almost impossible to tell their gender?
Yeah, and it's a really easy mistake to make.
Burial goods are typically the best way to figure out gender in archeology, but they're dependent on the archaeologists knowing what gender roles those goods were related to.
@@justawanderingsoul8643 this makes all these anti trans „when archeologists find your skeleton…“ comments so much dumber lol
After 3 years (and counting) of knowing I’m trans, discovering more about myself, but at the end of the day, accepting my grandma’s request to “leave it for later” and being too afraid to challenge her, I found relief.
These past months have had constant weeks of suicidal breakdowns and me having to control my tipping point as I can no longer wait. But I found something to rest on.
It was actually the phrase: “ you may never become everything you’d hope for”.
It gave me a comfort that I may never actually achieve the transition I wanted, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t give up on the goals I will.
Apart from the excelent video, thank you for this specific message.
People who truly love you wouldn't deny you healthcare. People who truly love you wouldn't promote your continued suffering. Tell your grandmother that you love her, but comforting her prejudices isn't worth your life or happiness.
Ok, so someone is worried that your body might not turn out exactly how you want? Is that not how every single cis woman and man feels? Because none of us have exactly the body we went. That argument literally could not make less sense. “Oh no, I might not get the results that I want from my transition! I’ll be literally in the same boat as every other person on the f’ing planet!!”
@@spacebunsarah now that you put it that way…
Thanks for the support!
I could watch this over and over. It’s truly one of your best. And you eloquently, engagingly elucidate so much that I feel but struggle to put words to. Thank you for making me feel seen and helping me understand myself.
i love my body, i love my partner's body, i love trans people's bodies. nothing said by anyone will ever change that. cool to see jonni mentioned in this. awesome vid
I agree, transgender persons are very beautiful. It saddens me that so many choose to be blind to that truth. More beautiful than the body, even, is their heart and soul as they tend to be very wonderful persons with hearts overflowing with compassion.
@@ethanpoole3443 i hate to sound all sappy n shit but ive been very down lately and sick and tired of my constant dysphoria when living in a very transphobic and religious extremist area, and seeing both the original comment and your reply cheered me up a lot. thank you :)
@@saltdad5263 I think that is the most wonderful compliment either of us could receive, thank you. I am very grateful we could both give you that cheer!
I truly love how, despite the topics you cover, you always manage to put a smile on my face, watching your videos feels so reaffirming that despite how awful it can feel, I am still here, and I am still on my way, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being the amazing person you are
ive always hated the "lifelong medical patient" thing, for a reason additional to my gender identity... it feels sort of like weaponizing the fear most people have of disability. i am a lifelong medical patient regardless, i have a genetic disorder and various other afflictions that permanently impair my daily living. i have to take medicine for the rest of my life, and i'm simultaneously at a much higher risk for developing a grand number of other diseases, so i frequently have to see doctors even if i'm doing (by my standards) well.
beyond just being terribly transphobic, statements like that play at the ableism that runs rampant in the world. people think it is terrible for me to be sick, for me to see doctors. they pity me and are afraid of me and don't want to bring it up or hear about it, but they still stare at my mobility aids and make rude remarks in public.
and i've noticed this bizarre hatred people seem to have over me being a /patient./ not just being sick. people have openly discussed that i should not see a doctor for symptoms, knowing full well the symptoms would not go away. people believe that it would be better for me to suffer alone and without treatment than face the fact that i am ill and receive the care that will allow me to continue living despite that.
thats sort of what i hear with that statement. that being a medical patient for your entire life is inherently bad and immoral, and that it is preferable to continue to suffer in order to maintain normalcy. which is, honestly, exactly what a lot of transphobes believe... but i find it interesting how heavily it ties into ableist rhetoric. seems like another display of how TERFS will throw away all of their supposed "progressive beliefs" the moment they get a chance to fight the "trans agenda"
and also, why is it even considered bad to be a medical patient? hospitals and doctors are here to help people. at some point, everyone in their life will become a patient. there’s nothing to be ashamed about with using a service that is provided to be used!
@@benjaminsmith3645 good old ✨ableism✨, my friend.
@@benjaminsmith3645 yeah its fr just ableism. same thing that drives people to say i am "unfortunately confined to a wheelchair". i'm unable to leave my house without a wheelchair, and i am fortunately able to use that technology in order to continue living life and doing things. it is not unfortunate that i use a wheelchair. if i do not, i am unable to leave my house at all. theres no shame in it. i think a lot of it has to do with fear - ive been told by so many able-bodied people that they would never be able to handle what i am going through. theyre afraid of disability and therefore paint it and everything related to it in negative light... including the medical care we require to live and function
27:50 I've been talking to my therapist about my fears about transitioning and just decided to start E soon. This part was extremely comforting.
Best explanation of biological sex as a spectrum ever! 👇 Found this tweet by a biologist and it's actually changed minds in online discourse.
Friendly neighborhood biologist here. I see a lot of people are talking about biological sexes and gender right now. Lots of folks make biological sex seem really simple. Well, since it’s so simple, let’s find the biological roots, shall we? Let’s talk about sex…[a thread]
If you know a bit about biology you will probably say that biological sex is caused by chromosomes, XX and you’re female, XY and you’re male. This is “chromosomal sex” but is it “biological sex”? Well…
Turns out there is only ONE GENE on the Y chromosome that really matters to sex. It’s called the SRY gene. During human embryonic development the SRY protein turns on male-associated genes. Having an SRY gene makes you “genetically male”. But is this “biological sex”?
Sometimes that SRY gene pops off the Y chromosome and over to an X chromosome. Surprise! So now you’ve got an X with an SRY and a Y without an SRY. What does this mean?
A Y with no SRY means physically you’re female, chromosomally you’re male (XY) and genetically you’re female (no SRY). An X with an SRY means you’re physically male, chromsomally female (XX) and genetically male (SRY). But biological sex is simple! There must be another answer…
Sex-related genes ultimately turn on hormones in specifics areas on the body, and reception of those hormones by cells throughout the body. Is this the root of “biological sex”??
“Hormonal male” means you produce ‘normal’ levels of male-associated hormones. Except some percentage of females will have higher levels of ‘male’ hormones than some percentage of males. Ditto ditto ‘female’ hormones. And…
…if you’re developing, your body may not produce enough hormones for your genetic sex. Leading you to be genetically male or female, chromosomally male or female, hormonally non-binary, and physically non-binary. Well, except cells have something to say about this…
Maybe cells are the answer to “biological sex”?? Right?? Cells have receptors that “hear” the signal from sex hormones. But sometimes those receptors don’t work. Like a mobile phone that’s on “do not disturb’. Call and cell, they will not answer.
image
What does this all mean?
It means you may be genetically male or female, chromosomally male or female, hormonally male/female/non-binary, with cells that may or may not hear the male/female/non-binary call, and all this leading to a body that can be male/non-binary/female.
Try out some combinations for yourself. Notice how confusing it gets? Can you point to what the absolute cause of biological sex is? Is it fair to judge people by it?
Of course you could try appealing to the numbers. “Most people are either male or female” you say. Except that as a biologist professor I will tell you…
The reason I don’t have my students look at their own chromosome in class is because people could learn that their chromosomal sex doesn’t match their physical sex, and learning that in the middle of a 10-point assignment is JUST NOT THE TIME.
Biological sex is complicated. Before you discriminate against someone on the basis of “biological sex” & identity, ask yourself: have you seen YOUR chromosomes? Do you know the genes of the people you love? The hormones of the people you work with? The state of their cells?
Since the answer will obviously be no, please be kind, respect people’s right to tell you who they are, and remember that you don’t have all the answers. Again: biology is complicated. Kindness and respect don’t have to be. [end of thread]”
My ADHD made me hyperfocus on this topic in 7th grade and that is 52 hours of my life well spent, because there is even more reasons that just aren’t even in this copied argument, like what about chimeric sexed cells(a person with cells that have multiple different chromosomal sexes), or mosaicism? Or maybe even suffering from a tumour in the pituitary glands?
@@beachwasher6140 it means that biological sex is a spectrum and by proxy, so too is gender. Though the two are related, they are not dependent upon each other. The entire professional community across all relevant professions agree that trans is valid. You don't have an intellectual leg to stand on here.
@@beachwasher6140 I'm not upset in the least, disappointed but not upset And We are women. You appear to be conflating sex and gender, we may not be female but we are women.
@@beachwasher6140 I've always been a woman. Disappointed that so many deny the facts and science.
@@beachwasher6140 Because woman refers specifically to gender whereas female refers specifically to biological sex. I am a woman though not female, as far as I'm aware.
As a trans girl born with la chappelle its always such a kicker to destroy the chromosome argument with my existance.
Just looked that up cause I never heard of it before. Neat!
Isn't that kind of cheating, though? You're a human being and that's the source of your value, no doubt about that, but there's still "normal" and "abnormal." Humans are supposed to have 10 fingers, but sometimes they're born with more or less than 10 - doesn't mean they aren't valuable, but it doesn't mean humans aren't supposed to have 10 fingers, either.
This is why I don't want trans or LGBT stuff to be normalized. I want us to be RESPECTED and I want the world to be mature enough to not feel threatened by our existence, but there's also a maturity in admitting we are not normal, and it's okay to be very different. I think the normalization is why normal people feel threatened/intimidated, like they have to just pretend we're the same.
@@Spritzkrieg "Normal" means conforming to norms, i.e. expectations about how things are or should be. "Normalising" means changing what people's expectations are. It's hard to imagine how LGBT people can be respected if people expect us not to exist.
@@AndrewKay I'm fine with "normalizing" the existence of rarer categories of people, but I hate when people lie about how biology/society works in service of that goal. We can accept that being trans is really abnormal, but that it's also perfectly morally okay. Lying about stuff like that just serves to piss off our enemies, and me along with them.
@@Spritzkrieg When people say normalized most of the time they mean being accepted. a small amount of people suffer from peanut allergies but almost nobody thinks of people as weird for having it. At the same time a small amount of people are trans yet get a lot of hate for it. Peanut allergies are normalized as in people see them as a normal thing even though they are a rare occurrence and being trans should be that way too.
When you talked about 'controversial trans surgeries' I think it's noteworthy to say that you said vaginoplasty and hysterectomy not phalloplasty. They don't actually care if we make you bodies look like a cis man's body or cis woman's body. They care that the surgery messes with fertility.
I care because those surgeries are very complicated. I had plastic surgery on my ears go badly, making new genitalia is a waaaay harder surgery to do and it's just not as simple as they'd want you to believe. Trans people don't get that a lot of us are concerned about them out of love, not hate.
@@gypsylee333 your anecdotal experience does not dismiss real transphobia. trans people know about the complications, but the reality of living without whatever surgery it is can be worse than dealing with them and it's not a valid reason to take away trans people's bodily autonomy
@@Ross-cecil I agree they can make those decisions about their own body when they reach the age when everyone else is granted bodily autonomy - 18.
Although this country has decided against people having bodily autonomy in many circumstances - forced pregnancy, incarceration, recreational drugs are illegal, can't decide to be a prostitute with your body, forced vaccines.... I could think of more. But for the record I think all adults should have complete control of their bodies and harm them if they wish. But the US don't care about any of that.
@@gypsylee333 No doctor makes it seem "simple," everything is under informed consent, and on top of that, like all doctors in the US and UK, at least, they are legally required to inform a patient of all potential known risks. Beyond all that even, Gender Confirming Surgeries typically require multiple letters from doctors and pyschologists stating they believe it is okay for you to even be allowed to have the surgery(ies) on top of wait times and sometimes HRT time requirements. There is nothing flippant or rushed about these surgeries, and while your care and concern is appreciated on a compassion level, it is unwarranted and often feels more infantilizing and invalidating to people when we are already consulting medical experts to make our own adult decisions for our own bodies.
I hope your "care" for trans people does not involve discouragement or dissuasion, especially if you are not a medical professional with expert knowledge on those surgeties. If it does, please find other ways to support trans people. It is up to trans people to decide what they want for their bodies and their transition, we don't need outsiders to second guess what's "best for us."
There's certainly that. Also last I heard, phalloplasties aren't even that common an option cause of expense and the limitations of the results.
I live in the UK and the waiting times are awful I've been waiting 2 and a half years and still haven't heard from them and there is a very limited amount of clinics I've enjoyed your video and you are gorgeous hun keep doing what your doing we all have the right to love and be loved no matter what x
Wow, as my egg is beginning to crack this was an incredible video to watch. So intelligent and eye opening, thank you so much.
Lily's hair is on-point, as usual! Also, transitioning question for the general comments section, are you allowed to stay in the hospital while recovering from top surgery? It wouldn't be possible for me to live independently without full use of my arms, and at the very least, I'd be in constant distress due to my autism. Is it allowed? Does it cost a lot?
EDIT: "Hard to categorize" I can't even categorize my OWN gender lmao I just say I'm a guy because it's the closest I've gotten.
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It probably varies from country to country, since different countries have different healthcare systems.
I don't know about top surgery, but at least in the US, I get the impression that it's common for trans people recovering from bottom surgery to go to a "halfway house" (not sure if there's a better word) for a week or so after surgery. It's not a medical facility, but it does provide a place for trans people who aren't ready to go home yet. There is one in San Francisco called "Trans HeartLine", but I assume there are similar ones in other places.
I'm having top surgery soon and it sounds like they'll have me going home the same day of the surgery, and then I'll be at home with caretakers. They required that I assure them I could have people taking care of or checking in on me at home and provided some training for what had to be done (medically draining fluid and measuring that fluid to make sure it's normal.) They're extremely thorough about discussing all of this ahead of time and answering questions about options, and I don't think they let you do it at all if you don't have a support/safety net arranged.
As far as extended hospital stays go, I'm not sure, but it's always costly in America and most places also want to get you out faster because they're overbooked and overworked. A lot also depends on your insurance and benefits. If you have good health insurance and can maybe even ask for some disability accommodations with the autism there might be more options. If you've got less reliable insurance, you're in a place that's not super progressive, or don't have anyone who could take care of you at home, it might be good to look into external trans-specific support systems like the other replier mentioned.
While the internet has good resources, the trans surgeon medical teams often do too, since they've had so many people come through before with so many different needs. If you talk to the doctors and they seem friendly and caring, don't be shy to reach out and ask about any advice or resources they can give or point you towards.
I dont mean to suggest you fit as one thing or another due to how induvidual gender is, but im a gender nihilist myself and i was in that boat of confusion for years until that self discovery. Its hard to put into words as it is such an induvidually introspective thing but to put it into words. Its less of an gender identity but a complete rejection of gender identity, you can still experience dysphoria/dysmorphia but for me at least, i see it more as my general body as opposed to relation to gender. There are a myriad of other labels, and it helps some people to have one, but it doesnt help everyone. Which is okay and valid, if youre comfortable with identifiying as a man then hell yeah, im just putting in my perspectives on life and my experiences
The way you do emotionally confronting nuanced takes is sooooo good like mind-blowing content as always
Incredible work as always. Thank you for making these videos.
It makes me happy to hear you acknowledge that hateful comments say more about the commenters than they do about you! You're a valuable, complete, valid human being who makes the world a better place by being in it!
I haven't finished the video yet, but I must say it: Holy shit, your voice is so pleasant to listen to. Almost like music
@Tarbosaurus just wanna add that @Wath never said her voice sounds like anything besides "pleasant to listen to" and "almost like music". Which is objective for everyone.
Claiming her voice sounds "like a man putting on a womans voice" came from you, no one else. Perfect example of projecting your own biases onto others.
You should work on that
Incredible vid. As someone on Finasteride for both hair loss and secretly transfemme reasons, I feel seen!