Haunted by the projects that missed their moment
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- I am haunted by all those series I left unfinished. Some I hope to return to, but others I know I will not. They're dead, buried. But not for the reasons you might expect...
Philip is just like Odgrub, but instead of getting haunted by the Ebony Warrior, he's haunted by his unfinished projects.
Maybe Odgrub is a representation of Philip and the ebony warrior video mirrors how he feels about himself ageing and his own strength waning.
Bravo Vince.
So, maybe the Ebony Warrior was ourself all along?
I can't believe Philip mentioned Destruction Darius 2, I've been waiting for this for the last 4 years.
omg ikr 😭
video essays and analysis is an art. And like any artist, you put yourself into everything you make, no matter how detached or unbiased you attempt to be. It really is fascinating to gain insights into your past self, never realising just how much has subtly changed until the differences are glaring when compared to your current dispositions. It's almost like a time capsule, buried in the back garden, but newer, shinier, and updated for the modern digital age.
Most "video essays" are needlessly pretentious but not kliksphilips, they are timeless and don't read like a trtyhard GCSE essay.
Know exactly how you feel and for me, I always end up rushing to the finish line so I don't lose the drive that got me going on the project in the first place. Also I started taking powerful psychostimulants and those are working great! Now I just gotta make some vids
hell yeah, drugs
This video speaks to me a lot as a game developer. I feel a shackle tied to me for each and every unfinished collab and project, but I'm also that much more experienced and talented for it.
I competed in a game jam for university and I made a game where you date a vampire guy. We didnt have enough time to finish it so he eventually runs out of things to say and spits out default text. However there are some people who stumble across the game, get invested and get dissapointed despite me having several warnings that it is incomplete. They write comments about how to get the good ending or if ill ever update it every day and I'm very certain neither will ever happen - but the alternative is to hide the game from the public to ensure nobody plays it again.
But I know that's the worse, less fulfilling ending. Nobody wins still. I'll leave my steak in the ground even if its unfinished. ♥️
Ah the old l, is it better to have loved and lost? question. I wouldn't let the potential of old games hold you back from making new better things right? That's what I'd think.
Philip you are by far my favorite RUclipsr. Ive been watching your videos for years- long after I stopped playing CSGO even.
No matter where your videos go in the future, Ill still be excited when Im notified of a new one :)
Philip always gotta drop the most thought provoking and existential videos at a random saturday
tis' the philip way!!
I feel this so much, and I don't even create anything. I have many ideas for so many different arts in which I am not at all disciplined, and just like you they follow me at every waking moment. I often wonder if I will die with all of my passion projects only ever having existed in my mind. My ideas are all likely trash and of little outward value even if fully realized, but they would be things I would want materialized... some day. It'd be my idealized self-actualization.
That's exactly what occassionally keeps me awake at night Back in school, a class mate and I would daily exchange ideas for GMod machinimas. Discussing whether these jokes were genuinely funny or not, how to record individual scenes (recording machinimas in GMod felt closer to filmmaking than animating), which voice lines to splice up so that the characters said what we wanted them to and so on. Barely any of these projects were worked on because I'd rather waste my time playing video games. It makes me wonder how far we could have gotten, and how it would have felt like to be part of that community, among those youtubers we used to venerate.
I'll never know the answers to these questions, even if I were to dig up the old harddrive, look through the concepts we made, piece together the few bits we did manage to create, record the rest that was missing, and upload the finished product on our old channel - because that time window has closed, and the target audience is long gone.
You're so right that your Morrowind machinima was the most important unreleased video, because it helped propel you to do what you do now. What I needed to hear years ago is PROGRESS ISN'T LINEAR! Like, you don't always have to do something new and shiny, it's enough to question your workflow, identify your limits, or step back to old habits while you become familiar with a new setting. These are all things I learned as I made projects that never got done, or was lacking some closure on.
What sucks the most is announcing something and then having to move on past it for one reason or another. I'm fine living beside that dark cloud, but usually an unannounced, important and unreleased project drags me back every few months despite my efforts to move past it. Sticking to old projects has been healthier and more efficient than starting fresh every time only to retread the same 10% of a project. More fun and worthwhile to mess around with the last 10%, even if I decide to can the project at 99% completion.
I still remember "How Will He Die". Loved that series.
Man I remember back in quarantine I would get so excited when u uploaded, my interests have changed now but u truly make great videos. I loved your series about dreams and ur juggling video actually inspired me to start juggling. Hope all is well, thank you.
Retro documentation has a market, diving into the mechanics of old tech can be quite fascinating.
I feel like you always post what’s on my mind in this channel, it’s crazy.
Thanks for posting man.
I feel this video a lot. I have a load of projects that I began working on, or stated plans for in the future, and even though zero people are expecting them at this point -- I am reminded of them every time I consider taking on a new project. It's really, really annoying. In general, I'd be better off working on something new that could only exist in the moment that I make it in. Instead I've got ghosts of things that were fully realized and could never come to take the shape they needed to, at that point in time, to have a chance at being appreciated.
RUclips randomly stopped showing me your videos for about 1 year ½ and just a few days ago i was sitting in my room and remembered "oh fuck klicksphilip" and now i'm having a blast watching everything you've created in the past year😆 you're the best man
the youtube algorithm simply just does not do this guy justice... :(
As I was once making videos, I totally understand the drive to complete them to hold the brilliant idea you had in that moment in a video format, it is fascinating to revisit old videos were you where giving the best of yourself.
But talking about a Destruction Darius 2 is different since Games are interactive and can be view without the accomplishment of the developer and being a thing of their own, which is sad sometimes since they take far much longer to make.
Philip you should do another 15 minutes retrospective video that might seem insignificant but will probably be remembered for years
wow. That bit about hating Destructio Darius 2 not because you dont like it, but because its held a blockage for the last 7 years over youre once flexible game dev passion really struck home. In the past few years ive become determined to not leave projects unfinished, so I can actually have completed this to show for my work. However, I can become so quickly burnt out and resentful of the projects just weeks or months ago I was so excited about. It feels like they start holding me back from everything else i want to accomplish. I know however I only need to sit down and keep wokring to finish the proejct as fast as possible - get a completed result - and then im free to move on. But the resentment makes it hard to work on the project anyway, and it becomes much more of a chore than a hobby.
This whole dilemma makes my head spin when I do have the chance to start on a new project. Faced between two comics to start, or two short films to begin produciton on, I become incredibly indecisive. Which one would I rather spend a year or more on? Perhaps more importantly, which one would I be ok never making. Because by the time I finish whichever one I set out on, my focus and desires for creativity will ahve long past the project I was in turmoil over letting go. Just as you still feel for the morrowind machinimas, I will still feel for those. However, they were laid to rest in an era long gone.
Sometimes I think, If only I had all the time in the world, I could accomplish every project I wanted - I wouldn't worry about starting one or finishing another. But would it really make any difference? For every 1 idea I act on, 5 more spring up in that time. Could linear immortality ever catch up to exponential infinity?
Great video as always phillip. This channel has guided conversations with myself on what I want out of my life as a creative for years and years. Thank you for sharing !
I loved those odgrub videos by the way. I did my first playthrough after them and named my character OrcGrub :)
I love these reflective videos Philip. It is always great to hear your internal and reflective thoughts, and knowing that my own struggles with this are shared, even tho I am quite new to RUclips. Thank you.
See also: the Yogscast always being bothered by their fans about episode 43 of Shadow of Israphel. There is no plan to make it. The last episode was so many years ago. And yet, there are people bothered by there not being a proper ending.
In a way, so many projects/ideas are "urgent": after a certain amount of time, the effort/time to get back into something enough to finish it just isn't worth it.
And as well, look at all of the saved items on my phone and computer. I'm wasting so much storage on screenshots and files that I will never look at again, except to search for a certain detail that I recall one day. Will I ever actually search for it? Maybe, and to my mind, that's enough justification to save those files.
My hard drive got corrupted a few years ago. I lost so many unimportant things (some important: like my up-to-date CV, some photos of family, etc.). But man did it feel like a gut punch. I didn't know what I had lost until I thought about the specific thing and realized I didn't have it. Interesting how our minds work when it comes to information we may or may not need, but at least we have it...
I have much less projects than you, but I really felt that part where you mentioned some unfinished project blocking your outlet in that direction for years.
0:59 what?! I loved the story bits of your old CS experiences :(
Kliksphilip, I'm sure the video about memes would have a lot of intrigued viewers watching it as many other videos with your own POV:s have had. You sharing our own views on topics, (memes is quite a big topic on the internet) or just personal experiences (the sillier the better) is always somehow entertaining to me. I'm sure many would agree.
Please never delete your older content, I love your older videos. You're total war and video game making series got me into your content and been a subcriber for years. Love your content bro
I love these introspective videos. Always a treat to hear such an interesting perspective.
It is (maybe not) very important that you make that final Odgrub video to me, as well. Can't wait to see the finale!
I replayed the OG Splinter Cell recently, quite enjoyed it. I hope the time of my old projects will come again for me, since most of them weren't meant for the public anyway. That may make some things easier.
I myself since the beginning of this year have decided to clear my backlog of unfinished projects, and not add anything else. Either I do the thing, or it's scratched off forever. I believe this way I'll find some peace and clarity in my life.
I have a massive game project I've been working on for almost 6 years (I'm 20 for reference). I didn't really think about what id feel if i didnt finish it. Ive rounded out so much in it that its both finished and not "done" at the same time. Its hust sort of, always been there if i want to work on it. I think, maybe, its more important than i realized to finish it. For my own sake. Great topic for this video, hadnt really considered it.
I have a similar experience. I dug up an old project that I had no memory of making and I just improved it and made a new render of it.
I think you should give remaking old things a chance
We love not onli the kliks but also the philip in every video u upload, independent from its content! So keep up the good work please we do enjoy
I 100% relate to this. I did a let's play of TA kingdoms that I never finished and lost the will to years later but never fully gave up on it until a ridiculous time later. I just couldn't bear the thought of leaving it unfinished but I couldn't be arsed to do it. Especially since let's plays are deader than dead on modern youtube lol.
0:55 The correct thing to do is to tell those pearl clutchers to "fuck off" and leave it at that. Don't let those with thin skins dictate your life.
Destruction D. Oh yes, I’ve been wandering what happened. Thanks for answering my burning question.
I never ends. Back to work. 😃
hard to believe that the first odgrub video was almost 5 years ago. I remember watching it on the day it came out as if it were recent
I love your skyrim story videos
A reflective lament.
I would love a video looking at old memes. I begin developing an old school meme website recently out of passion. Like DamnLOL from the 2010’s. I too, was stuck by just how little people would use such a thing these days and how dated the memes looked.
Looking at the old memes does invoke a certain 2000s Christmas like nostalgia in me, though.
Finishing projects that takes years to make is a very difficult thing. It's much easier when it's your only real creative focus but when your juggling multiple ideas at the same your bound to drop some of them. You reach the point where you have to start being a bit more ruthless when choosing what to complete and what not to complete.
I solve that problem by releasing stuff in their unfinished state or just quickly patched up and then I just move on. Feels great! :)
The AAA games industry strat
@@kliksphilip lmao true true XD
I knew it! I knew some episodes of going low in csgo disappeared! I spent so much time looking for some parts I remembered but couldn't find them anywhere😢 Knowing that I cannot find something I watched and liked previously makes me sad. If you see this comment, could you please give me the link to the taken down videos of going low in csgo? (I assume they are merely unlisted and can be accessed with links.)
Wait, did you said you took down some "Going Low In GSGO" episodes because of backlash???
I would pay millions for anyone to re-upload them! (if I had the moneh....)
This is kind of how I feel about... Damn near everything? DMing for my friends in DnD is one of them. I sometimes get stuck in this mindset where all I think about is doing that for them and then I DM a session and hate it but even afterwards it lingers as an unfinished idea. Sometimes I hate being alive
you have a lot of insight and a clearly very smart. i wonder how this reflects upon the human experience as a whole. or time it's self.
You're a capital A Artist, Philip, we genuinely adore your journey 🤠♥️
Eagerly waiting for some more Odgrub, Philip! Absolutely love the series.
I like these videos!
Dam, I was here like, wait? Is not over that skyrim story?!
I would kill for more Morrowind content tho
This motivates me to finish some goals sooner
going low in csgo is a legendary cinematic masterpiece! I didn't watch it when it first released but only way after and I would a watch it again.
I see Skyrim
I click the video
Jk, I knew that Philip brother's video won't disappoint me
Funny, I was just watching videos from you that are 8 years old for nostalgia :D
Bro there's no fuckin' way it's been 7 years since you started Destruction Darius 2.
I opened the 'game making journey' playlist and got a heart attack seeing the dates those videos were made, they all seem so fresh in my mind. . .
Motivational entropy.
Agree; tell me about it, Philip. Show me a hill, and I'll show you my mountain of unfinished projects ;-)
feel free to make more of these please
Can't wait for that Odgrub video!
Did you know that with the raw amount of Kliks' voiceclips and data he provided to us you can just replace him with an AI copy entirely? He might have been already replaced. One of the only few ways you can distinguish him from a copy is his creativity, not topics. That's deep if you think about it...
honestly would love to see the meme retrospective
I'm hyped for Odgrub and DD 2
I love your videos
You could maybe upload a supercut of any unfinished edited things you have to an unlisted video, perhaps on a public playlist so dedicated Philip fans can find. Maybe that would help provide some sense of closure.
idk filipe seeing as how TESVI will release in like 300 years i'd say you can catch an elder scrolls nostalgia hype wave.
what an interesting personality
keep it up
Exactly how I feel.
You have a splinter cell playthrough???? imma eat that yummy up
i needed this today
you have a great point of the going low on csgo although i did find it entertaining i tried to replicate it on valorant however feeling a large guilt with many players taking my actions very seriously trying to rank up while i destroy their time feeling guilt
Oh dear... there's Going Low episodes that I haven't seen? Oh, how I wish they were unlisted and linked to from somewhere...
I have rewatched that series time and time again. At first I did get angry at some episodes, but with repeated watches I've been appreciating it more and more.
I was also wondering if it was your "goodbye" to playing CS:GO...
I miss going low in CS:GO :( and the Hammer days. Wish I took the chance to play with you in 2013, but I didn't have a pc good enough for cs
Would totally love to see the meme video made lol
Shit's hard, but you do a great job :)
3:50 I felt that
Redo the Morrowind Machinima in Skywind lol
I loved your going low in csgo videos and I watch them every now and then. Would be a shame if there‘s no way of seeing it anymore.
Odgrub: Trust The Plan
I love you Philip
Finish the Morrowind Machinima, do it!
Oh yeah Destruction Darius bros... we're eating good.
You truly won't be able to fully appreciate how much weight it will take off your shoulders, until after you complete DD2. Just have to pull the trigger, schedule some time out, and do it.
Trying so hard to hold yourself to completing something that you end up losing interest in the hobby entirely is the biggest pit fall you can fall for. If you ever want to get back into game development you're gonna have to abandon any games you've spent 7 years procrastinating. You learn by starting and abandoning overly ambitious projects until your skills eventually match your ambition and can grow from there. Sticking to a project because you want to finish it and don't want to be a quitter without asking if the game is actually worth making is a massive mistake I see people make constantly. Most game developers have dozens if not hundreds of unfinished projects. That's just how it goes. I personally have well over 50 and am only barely finding things that stuck when thrown at the wall to settle down into and seem worthwhile.
People who cant forget are weak.
its bothers me that i wasnt there to watch each sinlge of hes videos ,i messed on so many things and i cant bother watch them becsue i feel like they are too old ,i dont know why but im happy taht i can watch him at least now
i dont think its weird or stupid to care about unfinished products that you have Decided not to finish.
i see my unfinished projects as a failure to follow through on promises made to myself. its probably unhealthy to think of them as moral failures but thats how i feel
1:00 noooooooooo :(
Hey philip. Please let me create one theme song for Destruction Darius 2. If you dont like it, you dont need to use it.
I love to use the pressure and expectation to develop my music making skills.
I love Odgrub
DESTRUCTION DARIUS 2 MENTIONED 🎉🎉🎉
you are my best parasocial friend
I understand the feeling of starting projects with enthusiasm, only to abandon them midway. It's disheartening and has discouraged me from pursuing other endeavors. Since childhood, I've always dreamt of creating my own game. While I once attempted to start, I realized how challenging game development can be while in undergrad and gave up. Yet, that childhood dream of crafting a fun game still burns inside me, ignited whenever I play games, envisioning how I could develop something similar.
if you know you're gonna get haunted then use a fear ward
These philosophical examinations are THE reason I love Philip ❤
midlife crisis
Counterpoint, some of your audience are old enough to appreciate the context of things in their appropriate time and place. Although it is quite depressing seeing someone post a stupid comment on a video that is 7 years old. Also remember, some things are certain and eternal - death,taxes and Skyrim re-releases .
the only thing kliksphillip lacks is time.
I still miss going low in csgo. Its end is akin to a tragedy 😔
is there any way to watch the deleted going low videos?
it always hurts when content creators self censor themselves