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How to Find Happiness and Peace as a Childless Woman | Living With Infertility
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- Опубликовано: 18 апр 2022
- My husband was diagnosed with azoospermia (male factor infertility). In this video I share what helped me accept my life as a childless woman. Now, 10 years after my husband was diagnosed with azoospermia (male factor) infertility, I know coping with childlessness is like grieving the death of a loved one. You never fully “get over” it, but you can still have a happy life without kids.
Not having children is devastating. How do you find happiness without starting your own family? Maybe you tried to conceive for years, underwent fertility treatments, and prayed for a baby miracle. I’ve been there! I did all three.
#infertility #childlessness #azoospermia
I found your video encouraging because I prayed and fasted to have a child. Adoption fell through. I’m a senior now and occasionally I get sad when I see couples with a baby in a stroller. Used think I’d be over it by now. Then I think how lucky I am to have horses which were a life long dream. It probably wasn’t meant to be. Who knows like you said if I was spared some grief later on. My husband has grown kids and they rarely even call. In 33 years they’ve barely acknowledge I exist. It’s nice to see there are others that can relate to the pain of being childless.
Horses! I’m starting a new phase of life/career, hopefully with horses! Equine therapy 💕
Maybe we never totally get over being childless. Like all types of grief, it just gets easier to live with. Though I have to admit that sometimes I’m grateful not to have kids. I just had coffee with a woman who has 2 adult kids; she said I’m lucky I never had children!
They weren’t your kids so maybe they ignored you because you weren’t their mother ? Sorry you had that happen.
I am in early menopause since 12 years :( it still breaks my heart
Same here
struggling with infertility, and this video is what I needed. 2 years in and honestly im tired, and dont even know if i want kids anymore. Trying every month and still negatives, month after month.
It really does wear us down, doesn't it? It's exhausting on so many levels. Taking a break and letting go of all expectations can be healing. This doesn't mean all hope is gone, though! It just means an openness, freedom, and willingness to embrace whatever unfolds in our lives.
You're in my thoughts and prayers, Stacee. May you experience healing, peace and joy beyond all understanding.
With love,
Laurie
I have been undergoing fertility treatment since 7 years . Started with IUI , then ivf . After multiple IUI cycles and 4 ivf cycles and 6 transfers later I’m still childless . Meanwhile with this treatment I had multiple surgeries for polyp removal , cyst removal , three miscarriages and one 2 trimester loss . Number ours trips to hospital still did not see light at the end of the tunnel . This journey is hard
Bless you sweet soul for this beautiful video. I’m struggling with infertility and truly needed to hear your good advice 🙏🏻❤️ Thank you so much for sharing your advice and wisdom with us. Wishing you continued fun and joy on your life journey!
Thanks for sharing your story. I've wanted children, but it's just not worked out that way for me and accepting it is hard. Hearing from others that have come to the similar path and seeing that they can be happy too is really good to hear.
Yesterday at the grocery store I saw the most adorable little baby. She was so CUTE, I almost died. I couldn't take my eyes of her! Her mom and I had a great conversation about how impossibly lovable and amazing that little baby is. It was a beautiful moment -- and the best part was that I didn't feel sad at all! I felt so much love, joy and peace in my heart. I'm so happy for that mom and her little baby.
That was a first for me, to just feel all love and gratitude and peace when looking at a little baby. Her mom and I had a wonderful connection, too.
This is how it will unfold for you, too. You'll get through the worst pain, and you'll be able to love babies that aren't yours and that you'll never see again.
💞💞💞💞
Wise words Laurie! The Bible says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”. Hard to accept when our plans are different to Gods.
Actually, I've rarely found it hard to accept God's plans for my life! I don't have the Big Picture, and who am I to challenge God? That's part of my joy and peace. I really do believe God has my - and the world's - best interests at heart.
my little sister (31) has tried for over a decade and 2 days ago she got a diagnose that shes premautely menopause. seeing her breakdown broke my heart and my heart hurts for her and i just hope she finds peace and happiness in her new journey. god bless all the women going through this, it truly is one of the most hardest things to go through.
This is very helpful....i have diminished ovarian reserve and i started perimenopause in my late 20s. They told me I was not a good candidate for ivf and to try IUI, but that I would need a diagnostic laparoscopy before. In January this year I had surgery and a terrible reaction to general anesthesia that left me on a wheelchair for 3 days, it gave me depression. I don't want to go through that again. My husband doesn't want to do IUI because my mental health has never been the strongesyand medication always affects me... My mother and father had mental health issues and were abusive... sometimes I think, maybe God is saving me from something...
This video is really helpful, thank you!
I stumbled across your video here and really appreciated finding it. My husband and I have been "trying" to conceive for 10+ years with no success whatsoever. I've given up on it ever happening, and now I'm trying to find a way to move on and focus on what my next natural steps need to be.
Aw, it's hard, isn't it? Especially when you've tried to conceive for so long. I'm sorry :-( It's so disappointing. Grieving the loss is crucial, and there may not be a point when you're "over it." I guess it's like losing your mom or someone you love...the shadow of sadness and yearning is always there. But it really does get easier - especially if you find something you're truly, deeply interested in or passionate about!
With love and peace,
Laurie
My body went through the changes at 35 and cause me to have depleted ovaries. The doctor said there was no cause for it and that I was part of the 1% of women that this happens to. Like you, adoption was never in the cards for me because I always wanted to go through the process of carrying a child. It makes me sad that I will never have my own biological children. What’s the hardest for me is trying to plan my life without them and hoping that I will be bless to find a man (future husband) that’s going to be okay with my situation. After listening to your story, I need to take the steps to heal and learn how to live life because I haven’t for past couple of years. Thank you for sharing your story❤
You were grieving -- and maybe you still are. Be gentle with yourself, for you are grieving the loss of something important and valuable. My grief has lessened a great deal but I know I'll always feel a little sad that I never had kids. But it's more of a sweet sadness, a dream that I know wasn't meant for me.
About finding a man -- trust that you will find the exact right husband for you. He not only will understand, he will be grateful and supportive. Not everyone wants to have kids, and many people have already had children from previous relationships. They're not always eager to step back into the "new dad" role :-) Trust. Have faith. And take good, good care of yourself.
xo
Laurie
Thank you so much! I am struggling, we are on the losing end of an expensive six-year infertility hell. I just found out I might have cervical cancer and it's time to let it go. I really appreciate hearing about your struggle and how you have arrived here.
You’ve been through quite the journey! Not having getting pregnant or having children, and now the possibility of cancer. How are you doing? You sound grateful, realistic, and resilient. My kinda human! 😊
Very well said, Laurie. Your words are golden.
Thank you, Gloria. xo
that is always a tossup to have or not have, and glad you are remaining positive. Good that you are sharing this important point
i’m watching this as a trans guy on testosterone who has had recurrent miscarriages. testosterone can make it very difficult to conceive, increase risk of miscarriage, birth defects, etc. i wanted to conceive and have a live birth before i started hrt, but it never happened. this means a lot
Thank you for being here, Victor. What a miracle it would've been - and a dream come true - for you to have conceived! A doctor once told me that it's a miracle for anyone to get pregnant. So many things have to align and go right; so many things can go wrong. I'm sorry it didn't happen for you. May you find peace, wholeness and joy in your life no matter what happens on your parenting journey, and may you be blessed with love and spirit in surprising ways. 💕
@@LaurieSheBlossoms this is beautiful
I pray Jesus finds you and heals you from everything and shows you the truth about the world like he did with me .
I have been married 24 years. I have Been pregnant a few times. I was not able to bring a child to life. Lost at least 3 pregnancies during my fertile years. I never thought about that we Or our children were spared from an awful life. Not that we would not have done everything we could do to have our child have the best life possible. I have worked towards healing with my dogs.
Dogs can be an amazing source of unconditional love, compassion and grace. I believe all dogs are "therapy dogs", even if they weren't trained to work with people.
I'm sorry you lost your pregnancies. That must be very painful. I can't imagine what it would be like, and I'm sure you and your husband would've given your children beautiful, healthy, good lives.
When I think of my kids being spared a difficult life, I'm not just thinking of my own contribution to their upbringing. I also think of how they could've been treated by other people, situations, random health conditions...I just can't know if they truly would've been better off being born.
With love and hope,
Laurie
Hi Laurie. I love your way of looking at life. God does always have our greater Good is mind, even when we don’t quite understand it. I will say the Lord has answered a lot of questions that I asked for years about circumstances occurring in my life, finally. And one day he will give you the answer as well. Thank you so much for sharing your insights.
My pleasure, Winter - and thank you for your encouragement! I really appreciate you. ❤️
Very powerful and transparent. Kudos to you.
Thank you!
I needed to hear this tonight. Thank you! 💜💜💜
You're very welcome. Take good care of yourself!
This was very encouraging, thank you for sharing, it was a blessing ❤️
I'm glad you found it encouraging! Hopefully, women who are struggling with infertility and childlessness will be comforted and cheered.
Thank you so much!!!!!!
Thank you
I've never really wanted to have a child but I always thought I would have the option but my girlfriend has health issues (pretty significant) that she got from her mother that she doesn't want to pass on and she has an intense fear of pregnancy. I'd rather be with her my whole life and do things with her that I wouldn't have been able to do if we had kids but it feels weird.
My family and culture are very religious and you're very much raised to just accept you're going to have children (like they talk about how your babies will be from pretty much the second you're born lol)
I don't know. I always wanted the option of having a child and now that it's gone I'm just... sort of mourning it.
I think I'll be happy if I donate my eggs so I know it's possible that my genetics we're passed down and then I'll just get out the maternal instincts through my work.
My girlfriend is open to adoption so there is that but it just feels weird knowing I won't have my own baby.
Anyway, my mum had 3 kids and I'm the only one who talks to her so I could have been spared lol
I really believe that a childless life mean we've been spared something! And maybe your girlfriend is right; maybe she will pass on her health issues. It seems like a selfless act to me, to try to protect your unborn child from going through the same thing you did.
Donating your eggs would be a beautiful gift to a couple who can't have their own children 💕 And yes, your genetics will live on!
I think i should just stop trying too. I just got my ivf cycle canceled after 10 days of stimulation because I only got 3 follicles.
Im sorry Laurie. But really, it’s honest-and factual- to write a title which reads: “ It got easier FOR ME”. You know. It’s untrue and unfair and patronising to speak for other people. Its kinda preachy. Very. So, the best thing is - to share. Your own experience.
She wasn’t speaking for other people though. Her video has helped a lot of people it seems including me come to reality of infertility just being a thing. Not everyone is meant to have kids.
Thank you