Sickest We've Ever Been | Pretend Problems Ep. 33
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
- Patreon is now live!! This week, Chad experiences a dairy explosion, they share their stories of the sickest they've ever been, and they talk about their new Patreon page! Plus great listener questions like how to get your partner to throw their trash away, and dealing with potential regret over not having kids. Write into pretendproblemspodcast@gmail.com with your dating and relationship advice questions and we'll answer them on the show! Subscribe to the podcast, and give it a 5-star rating and review to help the show move up the charts. Video for the episodes is on Chad's RUclips channel!
Join our Patreon: / pretendproblems
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See Kelsey on tour: www.kelseycook...
See Chad on tour: www.chaddaniel...
Watch Kelsey's special "The Hustler" on RUclips: • Kelsey Cook | The Hust...
Watch Chad's special "Mixed Reviews" on RUclips: • Chad Daniels - Mixed R...
Follow Kelsey on social media: @KelseyCookComedy
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Theme Song cowritten by Matthew Facca and Alex Bent
![Chad Daniels - Mixed Reviews [Full Special]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n1kVr3zkz7E/mqdefault.jpg)
6:14 I see you with the Seinfeld reference Lil’ Kels 😂 comedy!
haha comedy!
I love Kelsey's knowing look when Chad said "i had a pain in my stomach i haven't had in a long time"
Listed on Spotify but came here just to say, the switch from ice cream to “you know how when you have aids” killed me. Bravo 👏🏻
Idk if I was supposed to watch Patreon first but I did. What a great Wednesday 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
The best way to start a Wednesday
Rogan said Chad was gonna be on and I was like what!? And I went looking for it but then realized it wasn’t up yet. I’m so happy for you Chad!! I hope it brings you so many fans cause you deserve it dude, you’re so funny!! 🎉
Looking so forward to see you for the first time live in Raleigh on Sarurday.
I am CRYING at the ‘machine gun rabbit turd’ story OH MY GOD 😆😆😆 as a fellow person with persistent tummy troubles, BEEEEEENNNN there
Also, highly recommend the “So Delicious” dairy free ice cream, especially the chocolate cookies and cream. One of the best dairy free ones I’ve had (I know the bar is in hell for that)
hahah I was dying listening to him. And we'll check it out! Thank you!
1996 @ 14 years old. Both my fathers computer and mine got hit by a time bomb virus. I was up day and night on Mon/Tues/Wed/Thurs with one nap during that time, scanning the hdds sector by sector and pulling files off with Norton Disk Doctor. Went to sleep on Friday night and woke up the sickest I'd ever been. It felt like the point a heavy sharp cube was smashing into my nose, and I had completely lost my equilibrium and couldn't tell what was up or down.
"Norton Disk Doctor" hit me right in the nostalgiatis majora
Sickest moment was in 7th grade with the worst stomach pain. Throwing up, fever, massive cramps, the whole shebang. Went to the doctor, they thought I had a tumor. Had to get an ultrasound at the hospital. Turns out I was just severely constipated. Good times.
Holy moly I'm sorry that happened!!
😮 same timing for me if I recall correctly it was around post vaccine at a certain age in junior high because I delayed getting my vaccine due to fear of needles causing me to hyperventilate 😢 luckily overcame this fear
Can’t wait for the Chad in Sacramento, scored best wife points🤘🏼💖🤘🏼
I thought I knew what food poisoning was…
Nope. Clueless.
About 6 years ago, on thanksgiving-first one at home in years-amid juggling food prep and host duties I made sure to bleach wipe every surface after every step of prep and after each round of battling our enormous turkey.
My hands were actually crunchy from washing them too much🤦🏽♀️.
One of our guests brought a lovely variety of nuts and dried fruit to snack on. I even pulled out our cute matching snack bowls so they were available in every room. (No nut allergies that event)
I love nuts. Have always snarfed down any and every kind of nuts ever to cross my path. My grandma always had ‘fancy’ nuts out and my dad’s family came from Winters, CA where almonds were grown (along with amazing fruit orchards) and part of our traditions.
So, I ate several mindless handfuls throughout that day and later after our guests were mostly gone, desserts stored, left overs divided and dishes done😅 I sat to enjoy visiting with friends, sipping wine, and eat the nuts folks always skip over or don’t like. Often the best ones!
As I tossed a hazel nut and a walnut into my mouth, automatically chomping them thoroughly (hard learned tip-always chew extra. Savor the flavors), my brain couldn’t register the foul taste that burned my tongue and too late to stop it going down-my throat.
I literally literally felt the poison travel down my upper GI tract, through the intestines, then-OMFG-into my stomach. No joke, I ended up curled in a fetal position on the floor of my bathroom moaning for my husband to just knock me out. I had to sleep in the shower that night. Eww.
Turns out one should NEVER ignore bad nut exposure. I was lucky that I had eaten lots of other foods that day because it diluted the toxic effects of that evil nut. Evidently, rotten nuts can turn into toxic bombs.
I hurt all over, head to toe, and my exit holes were raw. My muscles ached from heaving. My skin was flushed, but pasty-like I had sat too close to a camp fire in winter. I was one giant hive. Dehydration doesn’t cover the situation I ended up in the next morning.
Ugh. I hate the ER.
Truly had no idea what a true allergic reaction felt like, because I’d lucked out not having them. Real food poisoning is life threatening.
I inspect the crap outta everything before it’s allowed entry into my mouth ever since that hideous experience.
I hope I am NEVER ever that ill again.
Ever.🤢🤐
Woahhhh that sounds horrible!! I'm so sorry!
Sickest I’ve ever been: my wife and I went to Denver where she had a week of work conferences and I went along and worked from her hotel room so we could explore the city on her off time. Across the street from her hotel was a Bubba Gumps Shrimp Company. She warned me not to eat there when we arrived. Well, stay 2 I wanted something for lunch and I listened like a true husband…and went to Bubba Gumps. Fast forward to that evening after a fun event at Mile High Stadium, we got back to the hotel and I proceeded to puke on the floor. After that, I laid in the bathroom until 6am throwing up in the toilet, wishing for death, and every time I would swallow my spit…I’d throw up again. To the point I had nothing left to throw up and I swear everything in my bowels made it up my body, through my throat and out my mouth. I honestly thought I was going to die. And MAN was she upset with me. But hey, in a few days we’ll celebrate 10 years of marriage! Big fan of you guys. Thank you for all the countless hours of entertainment.
Noooo that sounds horrible! Will not be going there now haha. Thank you for watching!
The sickest I've ever been was Christmas Eve 2004 in my husband's hometown. We went with his family to the candlelight church service at Zion Lutheran in FF. In the middle of the service, I handed my 7-month-old baby to my mother-in-law and exited for the bathroom. It was anything but a Silent Night in that restroom as I spent the rest of the hour alternating between puking and laying on the restroom floor, wondering if I'd be able to make it out alive. Little did I know my husband had left the service a few minutes after I did and was in the men's room puking his own guts out. We spent the next few days at my in-laws' fighting fevers, stomach flu, and completely unable to parent our child.
Fuck yeah! I'm a Fuck Yeah Fixer!!!!!! So freaking excited. I truly hope ya'll will consider offering a discord for the patreon members.
Yessss thanks Jen! We'll definitely look into that!
@@KelseyCookComedy Happy to help in any way I can with it!!
I feel for Chad…. If the doctor said I can’t have salami! Yeah thanks doc, I’ll find a new doctor cause one will say yeah have it. Ha ha
Re: Drinking Diet Coke and not finishing. My wife was an alcoholic and drank a lot of beer. So one year I decided to set money aside for me everytime I bought her alcolol. The same amount for me. She was all right with it, UNTIL I bought a brand new computer with the money. Oh, she was so pissed. But I had a new computer. So WIN.
Sickest I have ever been was food induced, but not food poisoning. I was 11 and my family bought golden raisins in bulk for the first time. I tried them and was obsessed. I took the bag (which was 3 lbs when we bought it) and ate probably half. They eventually caught up with me and I was anchored to the toilet. It was at the point where my dad was going to the store to get dinner and asked if I wanted to go with him. I had to say, “I’m not sure if I can leave the bathroom for that long” 😂
The sickest, I've ever been, I was eating a baconator, and this comedian I was working, who I won't mention, asked if he could try it. He then grabbed it, ate the entire thing, then had me fired from working with him the remainder of the week. Here's what made me sick, when I watched his next special he was using all of my best material! All six minutes of it. I couldn't stop puking. But I'm excited to see that guy's Netflix special July 16th.
Chad, you had the pinnacle bowel-movement...the "Phantom poo" It both disappears and does NOT require a wipe.
This is not to be confused with the "Ghost poo" which disappears but DOES require a wipe.
In 2011, I ate a leftover egg roll in my brother's fridge. Hours later, I had lower stomach upset and lost a ton of fluid. By 6am, I was throwing up. My muscles started to seize, and I couldn't initially get out of the locked bathroom. I called a relative who then called the police to do a welfare check. Upon arrival, the cop called both fire and ambulance. By this time, I was so dehydrated I couldn't make spit or stand up. Went to the hospital where I took 5 bags of IV fluids, and they admitted me for the night because my heart rate was too high. No more Chinese food for me or leftovers of questionable age or origin.
26:05 Caught norovirus for the first time in summer 2018. Was in and out of consciousness for 3 days, every moment awake either vomiting or in severe abdominal pain. Was living alone and completely incapacitated from the illness, wishing for the sweet release of death 😂
Oh man oh man! Sickest I’ve ever been has sadly been fall ‘23 to March ‘24 where I got covid, 4 times, practically in a row. Best part, was vaxed and boosted too, just got different variants that got me good. ‘Twas a wild ride to say the least!
I would also die before I give up dairy. I recently had some gastrointestinal issues and thought I had lost my ability to process dairy. Thankfully, it was just a virus, but it was terrifying to contemplate a life without dairy.
See you in Tampa!!!
When is Kelsey gonna (finally) be on YMH???
First ever 2-time guest on Dr. Drew After Dark should get some main feed respect on her name
Haha thank you! I would seriously love that.
So Delicious Ice Cream pints and bars are tremendous!! Try those.
Omg I just commented this too. They’re the best dairy free ones I’ve had !
I think the sickest I've been was like 2 yrs ago with I was 23; I thought I had a stomach bug, but I couldn't stop puking for 8 hours. I would sip water & immediately have to puke. I was super dehydrated & called 911 because I was passing out from exhaustion/dehydration. Every time I puked (which was like every 20 minutes) it felt like hot knives in my stomach.
Anyways long story short, it was pancreatitis (organ next to stomach starts *digesting itself with acid* rather than pumping the acid to stomach to digest food), got it as a side effect from a medication. It was from antivirals for a bad flu, like incredibly strong stuff using the same class of meds they prescribe for people with AIDS, lol. So I'd suggest probably read the potential side effects if you ever get a strong med like that.
Sickest I have ever been is when my appendix ruptured and I didn’t feel it for 4 days. By the time I went to the hospital, my digestive system was septic which lead to emergency surgery and landed me in the hospital for 10 days. Fun times…
😢😮 holy crap geez 😳 😫 thankful u made it threw it
being life flighted from Williston, North Dakota to Billings Montana with a case of Guillame Barre Syndrome at the rip old age of seven
@@pssorens
Frightening disease.
My daughter had G-BS as a young mother at the age of 27. She went to bed early because her feet hurt, and when she woke up, she was paralyzed in her lower arms and legs. It took weeks for her to regain full use of her extremities, and that was followed by months of extreme pain as her nerves healed.
I got chicken pox at 46. Other than the itch, it was a nice week off.
sickest moment... hearing Chad was invited to do JRE. totally sick, brah. I know Kyle Kinane is a big fan of CD White, and he's top five favorites for me, but hearing that Ari Shaffir threw Chad's name in the hat was really cool.
Sickest I've been, I was probably 4 or 5 and had a massive fever and experienced Alice In Wonderland syndrome. It was probably a result of Kawasaki Disease. I've never experienced it again. It's absolutely my first bad memory.
I played golf every week in the early 90's with a rugby playing mate who was basically Happy Gilmour in that it was by no means the sport he should have been playing. But boy when he connected with that ball right he could drive par 4 greens.
I mean, between us each week we would lose 6 golf balls. But find at least a dozen looking for our lost ones in the woods. So profit right there.
Who made a list of things women are looking for in a man, and the list filtered out most of the male population? And the ones left were either married or gay?
How special chad
Kelsey, please RUN to your nearest drugstore or wherever you have to, and get a shingles vaccination. You can prevent one of the most miserable experiences of your life from happening.
If you like the podcast, $5 tier
If you love the podcast, $10 tier
If you REALLY love the podcast $20 tier
If you do not like the podcast and want it to end $3 million tier and they will end it. :)
😂 ironic positive comparison ill tummy being compared to loss of missing out on big things😮 thank you Dan
😂 pour the coke or pepsi in a glass of ice and lid and store the rest for later in the fridge 🤔
If its not a fuck yes its a no 😮so true kelsey ❤❤❤❤