1) Men don't value your social status 2:18 2) He wants aliveness & connection before security 3:33 3) Visual Attraction through your Energy 4:53 4)Being Needed vs Being Resourceful 8:04 5) Being admired vs being desired 9:34
MEETINGS FROM ARKANSAS MOST MEN IN THE UNITED STATES ARE RAISED TO BE ABUSIVE AND NARCISSISTIC CONTROLLING AND SELF-CENTERED THEY'RE INTO A HOOKUPS CHEATING AND ALL THIS OTHER STUFF THEY VERY FEW ARE THERE USUALLY SELFISH THEY HAVE NEVER GOING TO BE A MONOGAMOUS THEY LOOK FOR THE WOMAN'S LOOKS YES AND THEY DO CARE ABOUT MONEY BECAUSE THEY'RE SELF-CENTERED AND SHALLOW BEAUTIES IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER ALL WOMEN ALL OF US ARE MADE PERFECT IT'S THE WHO CARES ABOUT LOOKS LOOKS FADE AND LOOKS ARE SUBJECTED EVERYBODY'S ATTRACTIVE OKAY BUT THESE TYPES OF MEN ARE JUST ABUSIVE THEY JUST CARE ABOUT THE LOOKS OF WHAT MONEY THE WOMEN HAS BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM LOOK BETTER THEIR INSECURE EGOTISTICAL NARCISSIST WOULD NOT PUT A WAKE UP CALL WHEN I PUT ON THIS PLANET TO PLEASE A MAN OKAY WHO CARES ABOUT GO FIND YOU A CHRISTIAN AMISH MAN OR A MENNONITE MAN OR JEWISH MAN OKAY THEY'RE THE REAL DEAL THE SECULAR MAN IS A LOST PIECE OF CRAP LOSERS STAY AWAY FROM MEN IN PRISON ALSO THEY'RE EGOTISTICAL AND THEY USE THEIR AGENDA IS TO USE WOMEN ALSO THEY'RE SICK IN THE HEAD NOT RAISED RIGHT
It’s always been SO difficult for me to ask for help of any kind so I could totally see men never feeling needed with me. However, I once had a man accuse me of being “needy” which only reaffirms a woman’s desire to retreat inside herself & remain independent. I think I do want a relationship, but it feels exhausting navigating it all.
For any intelligent and wise man, no matter how severe their depression and how much torture they went through when they were young and how much they were rejected by their parents and no matter how much they suffered in the hands of their criminal bosses, some men were created to be saints. Some men were created to be celibate. Celibacy is their test in the world. Because they're sensitive and emotional and because they are dependent on people and human emotions of feelings of love and loyalty, celibacy is their test and celibacy is their answer. Celibacy is their blessing and celibacy they think is their curse. And whenever an intelligent and wise man goes into a relationship and seeks love and happiness in this world from a woman, he ends up suffering so much through other reasons that he ends up emotionally and mentally breaking down and becoming depressed and dependent upon a man emotionally physically and eventually sexually. And many of them end up falling in love with younger boys after sexually being involved with an intelligent and emotional man who feels dishonoured and humiliated by the sexually serving their boyfriends and husbands. The answer is very simple. Celibacy... Purity. Piety. Chastity. Although for a person who is mentally and emotionally depressed and spends all his life crying weeping and wailing and being sad, the greatest nightmare of that person is to be single and chaste. But if they could suffer that pain of celibacy for 3 to 5 years, then they would find such happiness and such fulfilment in their lives and they would never ever have to go through the long part of seeking sexual pleasure from a woman and then falling in love with a man and then becoming a criminal to keep that man and then becoming a murderer and a monster and a weak person who is dependent on another person's love and has to destroy the universe and every religion and every law just to justify themselves and they're sick sexual sexuality.Although celibacy and Chastity is a word of fear and terror to men. These two words hold every honour, every friendship, every happiness, every power, every fulfilment, health happiness honour respect true friendships ultimate happiness and ultimate success in this world and the next for every single emotional and intelligent man.
What a great video. All true. My husband was very financially stable when we met...I on the other hand had very little. He made it very clear to me it mattered not a whit to him. We are very happy, he is truly a good man and I adore him.
@@Ellada-hu5tx there’re gold digging…so they can be lazy & have you provide for their needs. Their “ManBabies.” (They need their moms, so don’t waste your time.)
Is it really true about the social status though? Men might not care about a women’s career but they probably do care about what others think of her. Men care about their own status so they most likely also care about how a women’s status will influence his status
Look at professionals, typically Doctors either got married in college & built their life together. Or they got married once they were doctors & married others in a similar professional career path. I have clients where the female physician married at the age of 34 to a 28-year old Engineer. They have 4 children together, the last born when she was 43, they are both highly intelligent & high income earners. I've been selling higher end residential real estate for the past 30 years. In all this time, I've only had a couple of clients who didn't marry comparably educated partners. Yes, most men weren't looking for their wives to bring in substantial funds, but its about them "fitting in" to their social sphere. If a man is entertaining business associates & his wife isn't appropriate & can't add to the conversation, she is a liability. In the past, most people got married straight out of college. They met their future mate there, so by the ages of 22-24, people were getting married. So, it was a given one would marry someone they met there. That's why the old joke was girls went to college to get their MRS degree.
Most men I have met not only wanted to know my social status, but also the social status of my family...More, most men I know would not date and even socialize out of their social class.
But was that because he cared about the money or being able to present you as a top xyz. Or because being raised in “higher class” social circles leads to an understanding of how to present yourself. A woman is a reflection of who a man is. He simply cannot have his wife embarrassing him. So if he is in those social groups and parties, it would be in “his best interest” to get a woman who has already experienced that or is easily trained to be seamlessly bought into that life
@@andrewgoss6486 Lol, that is not true. You just didn't have that conversation with all the men you have met or never paid attention. An architect or a surgeon will not date or marry a waitress or a cashier in Walmart. Works in the opposite direction, too. A male carpenter will not consider marrying a bank manager or a big company owner.
Sometimes if you just don’t find the right one, just leave. For example, praising men sincerely for being a hero or make him feel needed is a good way for connecting, but doing it to the wrong person, it just boosts his ego and leads him to being a narcissist. Another issue is, being with a fake or wrong hero, if a woman tries to talk things through to build connection, as narcissistic as the guy is, he will think the woman is needy or immature. Not every man is right for you. When a man is not being a man, just leave. Just be a woman who creates connection with the one that seems right.
This comment doesn't have enough likes, it's straight facts..activating " hero" into the wrong man especially a narc is dangerous and leave you with mental trauma but the right man will give you peace and praise
Definitely agree about the narcissist relationship..it's a parent and child relationship, you will not get back the level of security or intimacy in return. It is a spiritual journey so if two people don't walk in agreement according to the word, walk away as it will be less painful and no attachments..it's all about surrender to Christ and serving our partner .period.
That works for some people and mostly for some time. Being in an intimate, fulfilling relationship is HARD but for most of us it's worth the effort. Having said that, do whatever feels great for you. Many blessings.
This popped up and I'm like "choose"??? We don't even wanna be chosen no more....and we are not waiting to be chosen...single life is bliss!!❤❤❤❤we are not bitter, we are not lonely...what we are is happy!!!
...And I know is difficult but will be cool sharing a life with a couple who felt the same way we do. And all will be different. But where they are them then? The good news is that not any more mistaken...beautiful
Thank you! I am raised by a single parenting mother, who was always very proud of her surviving alone after my father early death. I am strong, educated, independent woman. I have to change my attitude for men. Eyes-opening video!
No you shouldn’t have to dumb yourself down to get a “man”. Any guy who’s threatened by a successful woman isn’t a man. That’s how abusive relationships start with a guy who always has to be in the position of power. Be careful. I speak from experience!
This is wisdom personified! Thank you so much for sharing these beneficial insights, which sincerely help us to understand how men think, and what they want and need. ❤
I agree with this, but the problem for me is that I really don't need anyone. I can admire and love people, but I am so independent (and that is something natural that I can't change) that I don't really need a man. Do I like and appreciate what someone contributes? Absolutely. But I don't need a hero and I can't really force that.
I'm not sure I can buy into being admired being the woman's responsibility. I have no problem admiring a man who is admirable. HE plays a role in whether or not I admire him. He needs to have quality to his character and do the right thing. Just like I don't trust someone who is not trustworthy. So guys, you play part in all this.
Absolutely, I'm not claiming that you should admire a guy who doesn't deserve it. What I'm saying is many women who connect with admirable men fail to express it because it's a vulnerable thing to do. : )
@@BernMendez Vulnerability and a safe place to be vulnerable is key to a healthy relationship along with respect and good character which then builds trust and leads to the ability to be vulnerable.
Ooops... I am the independent badass 😂!! I don't think I "need" any of these guys. Some of them are admirable, yes. I can't fake need anyway because I am not fake. As for me, I would rather be friends with a man who can be my equal, than romantic with one who needs to be "needed". He himself is needy! 😉 Nevertheless, in general I appreciate your empathy for women. Your words and expressions are heartfelt.
Needing deep love isn't a flaw it's strength and an honest reality for most of us humans. If your independence works for you, all the power to you BUT... if there's something missing perhaps a notch or two of more vulnerability might be the biggest adventure you'll ever step into. Thanks for watching.
Dear Mendez, I fully agree that vulnerability is the key to emotional growth and meaningful connections with others. Thanks for mentioning vulnerability. It's a beautiful state of being. My point is, needing to feel like a hero, is another form of validation seeking. These ideas are not celebrating the courage and independence that women aquire. When they get into toxic relationships, they suddenly need to muster exactly these to step out. Also, it is a fine line that separates protective behavior from men and reinforcing patriarchal gender norms. Several societies are still struggling with patriarchy because of misplaced ideas of masculinity.
Disagree with you. Good thing she is independent so she does not have to rely on someone who might feel the need to be in control and take care of a victim
I have tried to explain stuff like this to my wife, specifically about being needed. She says my need to be needed is my own problem and i need to change because she will not ever need me.
I am sure that energy (as far at it is related to temperament) is widely determined by genes AND also upbringing. But radiance and feeling good in your skin, and a positive attitude can (and should be) cultivated. Just working on being more lighthearted, and beat up. Plus being more connected.
I think people should encourage abstinence before marriage. Why can't people wait for that until marriage. Is it really that difficult or is the person not worth the wait?
A sexual relationship is very important in most marriages. Not all partnerships are sexually compatible. It doesn’t make sense to wait until after marriage to find out that you’re sexually incompatible. Sex is also a normal part of adulthood. Christian religions have turned sex into a sinful act. It’s not. “Sin” only occurs when you act selfishly. You don’t need to be legally married to share deep and giving love together.
@@YukonFox1972 For me it would be religious. However there are also secular reasons for abstaining and waiting until marriage. Also I hear about soul ties and how someones trauma passes through sex to you as well as the increased risk of diseases and std's etc. BTW sex was created by God so it isn't a bad thing but it was intended to be within a marriage. So all thos nonesense on how religion makes sex as a negative is what people seem to always misconstrue.I don't know about you but I don't wanna be test driven like a car before I settle down with the right man. Male & Female are sexually compatible. And if you love someone you would find ways to love eachother like so many people like to say "unconditionally"🤣 except when it comes to sex right? which I honestly think is bogus to say people love eachother unconditionally. And yes I think most people understand that sexual relationship and compatibility is very important.
@@YukonFox1972if someone is sexually incompatible (whatever that means) he/she can learn how to... By the way if you "test" people sexually how do you know that you found the one who passed the "most"?
@@Jules-740 Not everyone believes in “God” the way that you do, and God is not watching like a pervert to see when we sexually “sin” to throw us into the fiery pits of Hell. 🙄 Virginity as an adult isn’t important; people don’t lose their value after they become sexually active. Marriage is not a guarantee for love or even safety against disease-plenty of married people have contracted STIs from their cheating spouses. As for soul ties, we have plenty of those that are nonsexual with family members and friends, and they cause us trauma too. Condoms offer great protection against STIs, but I’m also not encouraging people to use sex as a recreational sport. As someone who’s been married, I can say with confidence that waiting until after marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy, sexually compatible, nor necessarily healthy sex life. In the end, no one should feel pressured into having sex, but it’s psychologically damaging to use religious shame as a reason to abstain.
I always find the right ones> 6 to 7 years older. The one I met at age 16 had no clue how I felt; over 3,000 miles away for 7 years, until I matured. And those that begged, well, I couldn't understand that in grade 6, with mature girls 3 to 4 years older. I'm a born loner so, those from age 18 until a year before my return to Alaska, they wouldn't except friendship/time to get to know each other better, first. Knowing it was over, I'd wait for when they were ready to end the relationships. And yes, they knew about the Holdout. If a man answered my Holdout's phone, I wouldn't call for at least 6 months, let it play out, no questions asked. I'm 60 now, haven't dated or been with another in over 25 years> by choice. Your words are all true. GOOD LUCK OUT THERE! NOW, where was I going!? Ahhhh> back to PEACE & QUIET! Holdout: 1958-1992 < PLENTY FOR ME, STILL❤
Men so much care if you are financially in a very good position! Each time I meet the guy it’s the first question they ask what do I do. Kills me each time.
This perfectly describes why my last relationship failed, but at the same time I don't think I could have done anything much different to change the outcome except maybe offer more verbal praise in general and stop offering to help him with things alltogether? 🤷♀️ He was trying to do things for me and it wasn't working because everything he tried missed the mark a bit and I ended up being put in the position to turn down his efforts or tell him something didn't work. Not that I was critical or anything, his efforts just weren't working out for one reason or another. It wasn't anybody's fault, he just wasn't focusing on what was actually needed at that particular point in time. I hated being put in that position On the flip side when I needed something easy, like comfort after a really hard day, he wasn't interested in being there for me. He only wanted to help or be a hero when it was convenient for him, not necessarily in regards to what I actually needed I've never been put in that position in a relationship before so it sucked... especially since I really loved him and pictured a future with him
It may have been about incompatibility then. If you’re in sync with each other as a couple, you both know what the other needs and can be there for each other but also step back when needed. Maybe he felt that nothing he did was ever good enough, not based on your words but possibly because it didn’t seem to work out fine. Man or woman, that could leave someone feeling insecure about themselves.
@@mariancounsellor Honestly I watched a very detailed video the other day about avoidant attachment styles and every single thing they said matched what he was doing, so I think that's probably what it was. I've never dated someone avoidant before and I was super confused because it didn't make sense why our relationship wasn't working. We have tons in common, enjoy so many of the same things, and had great chemistry. Plus we'd been friends for 4 years before we dated and had lots of fun and would laugh together a lot. It was very easy when we were just friends. He was the one that pursued me but things changed once we got romantic. He was very insecure and got into his own head. He basically sabotaged the relationship and then ran away The giving stuff I described above was small stuff, like he bought me some boots and they were a size too small so they didn't fit. I still thanked him for the gesture but I'm not sure what else I can do if they don't fit. He took it personally like I didn't like them even though I told him that I loved them and really wished they had fit. I wasn't at all negative about it. I don't know what else I could have done
Thank you. Very enlightening. Any honestly I was so excited to hear you hear you use the phrase “couldn’t care less’ the right the way. And yeah, I realize saying that would rub off any guy. Just appreciating you. I won’t say it on a date lol
I was fun, made him feel alive, and he was very attracted to me. However he turned around and picked the boring stable girl with financial status who didn't need him. So i guess he was an exceptional case - the gold digger?
Working on your finances is a smart choice. Not meeting guys because you’re feeling insecure you’re not yet financially set is not needed. Choose a man who is into you not your cash 😊
Similarly, I’ve always thought I needed to be farther in my career before a marriageable man even looked in my direction. I thought a man would say, “Oh. You’re still in THAT position and haven’t moved up the ladder? I always thought that was a huge turn off for guys. Additionally, in the times when I wasn’t as far up the corporate ladder as I’ve liked, I’d always put myself down (rejecting myself before others reject me). Often, it’s the people I want to be pursued by who are the ones I’ll put down my shortcomings to. Like, one friend and romantic interest pointed out that I had a different hairstyle one day. It wasn’t in a bad way, and it’s understandable he said something because the change was so drastic. I couldn’t even look him in the eye when I fumbled my way through how earlier that year I became sick and lost my hair. He said he didn’t know, and I told him how I hid it from everyone. (I wore scarves on my head for a while). I hated my hair length at the time, and figured men did, too. Now I see one reason why he didn’t pursue me romantically was because I wasn’t alluring in that I wasn’t smiling and was hiding. 🤦🏽♀️
I have a lot of male friends. They don't care what you make but they do care if you are a financial wreck or have any indicators that you are a gold digger. Pay your debt off (exception - a mortgage or car payment).
@tek3freak, I don’t have any debt except for medical bills that keep compiling because the doctors need to run more tests. I can definitely pay them off, but medical bills are one of the biggest reasons why it’s hard for me to save extra money. I am by no means near any kind financial collapse, though. My deductible starts over in September, and I’ve already met it this year with plenty more bills to come (It’s 80/20 after the deductible). Anyway, I thought for sure the corporate ladder was a thing. Like, I know not all men want the woman C.E.O., but I also thought they didn’t want say, a secretary, either. Now that I’m typing this, I see how ironic that statement really is.
@@maritamuras8978 I don't think someone who cares about you is going to worry about medical debt. That's not the same as living beyond your means. American healthcare system is brutal. Hope some good fortune comes your way soon.
Men chose you by ranking their previous bed partners and deciding you might suit. Then they find out how much money you have and what you can do for them.
So helpful! 🙏🏻 Especially the points that he needs to feel needed, admired and most importantly that he needs to feel alive and in order for me to make him feel that way I have to be connected to myself and love myself😳 ..that’s what I’ve been feeling.
My ex was the exception about the social status. He cared what I did for work and how much money I made. He ultimately dumped me because I couldn't help him meet his financial goals of bringing in 500K a year.
1. I hope it’s true because I do struggle with a “oh God! What if my credentials are good enough or high enough?” I had an ex say, I wish you were further ahead in life and it really struck with me unfortunately. At the time I was putting myself through school so I technically wasn’t “At his level”
Thank you, thank you, and thank you... with your videos, I'm fixing all misconceptions done by myself in our long-distance communication. Now he just admitted he misses me and our romantic connection and that he can't wait to reconnect in September in person once hr is back to Europe 🥰
This is super thought-provoking; thank you! It’s especially interesting to hear the part about finances/ social status. I’ve always assumed men kind of resent it when women don’t come to the table on a similar or higher level financially. This is a good mind bender and points to me having a LOT to learn. 😅
I love your channel.. it’s helped me through so many trials. Im happy to say I am empowered and magnetically feminine these days, for the most part at least 😂
I'm so happy to hear you're feeling empowered. It makes me feel grateful that this work along with what you're doing in your life is making you feel connected to your heart and your center.
This at least delivers an explanation for my personal situation because I never felt like I needed a man. And I still don't tbh. Never intended to get married, never wanted children so there. Maybe that's the vibe I'm giving but honestly? It's peaceful. I'm rarely ever interested in someone romantically and those few times I was, it was very stressful.
Hi Kath, thanks for sharing. If this works for you then no need to change. If there's a deeper yearning for something beyond what you have on your own then a shift might be needed.
We were together almost 2 years. He said he could not afford me. Funny how I never asked himto afford me. Side note he stopped his divorce because she had a great money making job but he is not in love with her he is comfortable sleeping on the couch for 30 years. True his friends call her an ice queen. She is the boss. I want a hero not a zero
Some of this advice is outdated or for older generations, young men 40 and under do care about your money, in fact all my girlfriends married down, women today are more educated and own more homes compared to single men, men usually pick women that benefit them so women should do the same.
You really hit the nail on the head with the whole needing him thing because the truth is I'm a very independent woman. I have a high paying job working in health care and I live on my own. I am looking for connection but maybe its with a Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl Like me 😋 thank god I'm into girls too
As a woman, I've had a LOT of interest from men on a dating site and I can't get past the fact that they're not physically attractive to me. That's my #1 criteria. I also want to be respected, appreciated, and admired before being desired. I think generalizations are not helpful to anyone.
Looks come and looks go. After some years every man and woman will look different than at the beginning. A man whose heart is attractive will become attractive from the outside after a while.
Of course, looks come and go... and of course, we ALL want a good heart - women AND men. We're just talking about *initial* attraction and the fact that these so-called "relationship coaches" insist that women don't regard physical attraction first, but men always do. Gotta love these generalizations that do NOT apply to all women. @@ZuerstJesus
Sorry but no. Attraction IS important. When you are an independent, educated woman who can provide for yourself, you expect more from men. Why? because you can, you are wife material. I am not talking about marrying a model or 30 years old hunk, I am talking of choosing a partner that you really want and desire as a man, even if he is in his 40s or 50s. When you get from your partner emotional support, love and respect, physical attraction is not less of importance. It's vital for a marriage to work properly. After 14 years I still look at my husband and think , hmmm, how handsome. Love when he dress well and other people look at him/us together. I can tell that even when he is mad at me, he tells me that I look good...jejeje. So yes, looks matters!
How does a woman need a man or show him she needs him? This genuinely doesn’t come naturally to me as I’ve never felt the need for a man, so I honestly don’t even understand.
That's ok. Having your financials where they need to be isn't a problem. The problem would be thinking that's going to make him want you more, it won't : )
To be honest from what i have seen most masculine men want a happy go lucky women all the time🙄they want a soft voice and carefree attitude and dont do well when a woman is uspet or analyzes things. On the other side there are men who take advantage of these women bc they see them as easy. Logic and determination doesnt seem to do well with true masculine men. i dont want him to just see me as a feeling. lol. i have opinions and i am strong. Why do i have to act like a little girl to be liked lol. Never.better single than this
I'm the happy go lucky girl that acts like a little girl, but wants to be more mature.. I've had people tell me they thought I'm 10 y younger and I knew it was because of my behavior which made me feel embarrassed. I've been single for 6 years now because I've avoided man altogether exactly because of the taking advantage issue.. going to therapy soon to figure out my issues. I feel like mature men want to marry equally mature woman? but maybe I'm wrong
So as a successful well educated woman with a great job and financial stability that means I’ll be single for life because I’m not a helpless damsel in distress? Well that’s just fine! I’d rather be single than dim my own light to cater to a weak man who’s threatened by a successful woman. 😜
@@katemiller7874 Fine with me! I'm not willing to dumb myself down just to have a man. If you are, good luck with that! I know I deserve better! But just remember "A man is not a financial plan".
So dont be resourceful, dont have money, dont help him at all, but... be beautiful, have chemistry ( ie be beautiful) be in touch with your sensuality (ie be beautiful)( doesnt help much if you are not beautiful) I qualify on point 2- I dont have money, so maybe Im in for a chance?
This isn't wjhat I shared... It's not about not being resourceful or not having money - it's more about not leading with that or thinking that's what guys will appreciate most. : )
I'm sorry Mr. Mendez, but I think people are just too varied to be put in a generalized category like this.. Everyone is different and individual and will find different things cute or admirable with regards to the opposite sex. That is IF they are even into the opposite/complementary sex/gender! This I realized after dating and trying to find "the one" since I was 25 and here I am pushing 40 in two weeks and I am single again. The last guy I was with broke it off with me last year in August after being with me for six long months. It took me a long time to get over the rejection, but it wasn't easy. I really thought he was my "one" because I was already 39 and I could have sworn he was also falling for me, but maybe now looking back, maybe I was just desperately delusional. It didn't help that I was very sexually attracted to him! This White Irish man (overweight and lived with his parents at also 39 turning 40), but I thought all that didn't matter because I thought our relationship could have inspired him to improve things!.. 😞 I really wanted to finally be a wife and mother but I guess it wasn't in the cards? Edit: Oh nevermind, you said there were exceptions.. man, I wish mine wasn't the exception! Also I realized after that experience that maybe it isn't the be all, end all, to have the title of wife and mother like a lot of women have dreamed of being or that is their goal. Maybe it's better to just focus on career, at least my career won't let me down! It will even PAY me if I put good, hard work in it!
......"I want a man with a mind like a diamond......I want a man who knows what's best.....I want a man with shoes that cut and eyes that burn like cigarettes......."🤭........I want a man with a tight shirt and a lonnnnnnnng Jacket!!!🤗..........na na na na na na-na na na na nahhhhhna......
You should add this applies to good google quality men. And most boa eats are far from that ! I learned hard way that hoping men to grow up is never happening . Once he is a boy not a men he will never grow up. Irresponsible , lazy, addicts - that’s what I see in most men. Nice good men is hard to find. I have a lot to give, always was a wife material. But I will not settle with a lazy men who exploits me ! I don’t want to be sauced of being Feminist, or strong woman who doesn’t need men. I do but I have to live some way and while being alone I have to be able to fix my drawer and be able to pump gas into my car. I can’t sit on a curb and wait till someone saves me . I want someone I admire and can be proud of ! I miss meeting someone valuable
I just ended it with a guy who was in his feminine energy and would pull me out of my feminine energy. I hated that! Never again I will date a man that needs constant praise for his looks but lacks in every thing else. I couldn’t admire him as much as I tried!
Oh, I need him. That's for sure. But guys don't tend to feel like taking care of someONE with an organic BRAIN injury/condition after abuse in a previous relationship. I have my moments, though, and I am getting better over the yrs.
Now that women dont need men because they arent property men are having a tough time with being a partner that is actually wanted and can add something more valuable to a woman’s life than she can herself.
you have a long lingering anger on something you just have not been able to let go of. You carry a form of resentment all the time but can't chip away at it.
So true about energy. Work on your happiness ladies and you will notice you are surrounded by men looking for women. So don't settle for less than what you are seeking. There is no need.
This is wise. On the other hand I, who want to be liked for my brain (and my cooking), feel awful when men just don't care about what I value in myself. I want to be sincere and it seems I would benefit more if I pretended to be a stupid doll, telling a guy he is so awesome :( I kind of lose respect for men who choose not so intelligent women with modified bodies. If they consider me and an empty doll... It's so humiliating! To feel alive... but with just anyone?
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
[Take My Free Quiz]: What's the #1 Reason You're Single: bit.ly/youresinglequiz
2:19 2:20 2:20 2:20 2:20
1) Men don't value your social status 2:18
2) He wants aliveness & connection before security 3:33
3) Visual Attraction through your Energy 4:53
4)Being Needed vs Being Resourceful 8:04
5) Being admired vs being desired 9:34
Thank you for watching.
thank you xxx
MEETINGS FROM ARKANSAS MOST MEN IN THE UNITED STATES ARE RAISED TO BE ABUSIVE AND NARCISSISTIC CONTROLLING AND SELF-CENTERED THEY'RE INTO A HOOKUPS CHEATING AND ALL THIS OTHER STUFF THEY VERY FEW ARE THERE USUALLY SELFISH THEY HAVE NEVER GOING TO BE A MONOGAMOUS THEY LOOK FOR THE WOMAN'S LOOKS YES AND THEY DO CARE ABOUT MONEY BECAUSE THEY'RE SELF-CENTERED AND SHALLOW BEAUTIES IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER ALL WOMEN ALL OF US ARE MADE PERFECT IT'S THE WHO CARES ABOUT LOOKS LOOKS FADE AND LOOKS ARE SUBJECTED EVERYBODY'S ATTRACTIVE OKAY BUT THESE TYPES OF MEN ARE JUST ABUSIVE THEY JUST CARE ABOUT THE LOOKS OF WHAT MONEY THE WOMEN HAS BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM LOOK BETTER THEIR INSECURE EGOTISTICAL NARCISSIST WOULD NOT PUT A WAKE UP CALL WHEN I PUT ON THIS PLANET TO PLEASE A MAN OKAY WHO CARES ABOUT GO FIND YOU A CHRISTIAN AMISH MAN OR A MENNONITE MAN OR JEWISH MAN OKAY THEY'RE THE REAL DEAL THE SECULAR MAN IS A LOST PIECE OF CRAP LOSERS STAY AWAY FROM MEN IN PRISON ALSO THEY'RE EGOTISTICAL AND THEY USE THEIR AGENDA IS TO USE WOMEN ALSO THEY'RE SICK IN THE HEAD NOT RAISED RIGHT
Thank you!😊
Salary=social status?
It’s always been SO difficult for me to ask for help of any kind so I could totally see men never feeling needed with me. However, I once had a man accuse me of being “needy” which only reaffirms a woman’s desire to retreat inside herself & remain independent. I think I do want a relationship, but it feels exhausting navigating it all.
For any intelligent and wise man, no matter how severe their depression and how much torture they went through when they were young and how much they were rejected by their parents and no matter how much they suffered in the hands of their criminal bosses, some men were created to be saints. Some men were created to be celibate. Celibacy is their test in the world. Because they're sensitive and emotional and because they are dependent on people and human emotions of feelings of love and loyalty, celibacy is their test and celibacy is their answer. Celibacy is their blessing and celibacy they think is their curse. And whenever an intelligent and wise man goes into a relationship and seeks love and happiness in this world from a woman, he ends up suffering so much through other reasons that he ends up emotionally and mentally breaking down and becoming depressed and dependent upon a man emotionally physically and eventually sexually.
And many of them end up falling in love with younger boys after sexually being involved with an intelligent and emotional man who feels dishonoured and humiliated by the sexually serving their boyfriends and husbands.
The answer is very simple. Celibacy...
Purity. Piety. Chastity.
Although for a person who is mentally and emotionally depressed and spends all his life crying weeping and wailing and being sad, the greatest nightmare of that person is to be single and chaste. But if they could suffer that pain of celibacy for 3 to 5 years, then they would find such happiness and such fulfilment in their lives and they would never ever have to go through the long part of seeking sexual pleasure from a woman and then falling in love with a man and then becoming a criminal to keep that man and then becoming a murderer and a monster and a weak person who is dependent on another person's love and has to destroy the universe and every religion and every law just to justify themselves and they're sick sexual sexuality.Although celibacy and Chastity is a word of fear and terror to men. These two words hold every honour, every friendship, every happiness, every power, every fulfilment, health happiness honour respect true friendships ultimate happiness and ultimate success in this world and the next for every single emotional and intelligent man.
I feel all of this. It truly is so difficult to find a balance.
Men only accuse a woman of being needy if she is too needy for how attracted he is to her.
@@paulbooij7594 I’m not sure I understand. Is this another version of “he just wasn’t that into you”?
What a great video. All true. My husband was very financially stable when we met...I on the other hand had very little. He made it very clear to me it mattered not a whit to him. We are very happy, he is truly a good man and I adore him.
I find the opposite. Men want to know where I work, what I own.
I met a few that were like that (very few)...gave them a hour of my time to be polite and dumped them like a hot potatoe. Run don't walk.
By asking those questions they tell you alot about themselves, what is important for them in a woman. @@Ellada-hu5tx
@@Ellada-hu5tx there’re gold digging…so they can be lazy & have you provide for their needs. Their “ManBabies.” (They need their moms, so don’t waste your time.)
prayers and goals!!!
Ladies... he is spot on!! Activate a man's 'hero' and he is yours forever!!
Than you for watching.
My guys were heroes and I’m still broken hearted because that wasn’t enough. Wish it were so simple
Sounds exhausting 😅
@juliettejuliette-bf8df actually makes life 10x easier.
@@LS-iq7gz True. Took it as me being needy. 😅
So grateful for men like you, who help us to understand men better, in a straightforward and thoughtful way. Thank you ❤
Kate, thank you so much for your kind words and support, I really appreciate it : )
@@BernMendez 🙂
👏👏yes!!!
I just don’t meet men who are single. Travelling to Europe for a holiday.
Is it really true about the social status though? Men might not care about a women’s career but they probably do care about what others think of her. Men care about their own status so they most likely also care about how a women’s status will influence his status
Look at professionals, typically Doctors either got married in college & built their life together. Or they got married once they were doctors & married others in a similar professional career path. I have clients where the female physician married at the age of 34 to a 28-year old Engineer. They have 4 children together, the last born when she was 43, they are both highly intelligent & high income earners.
I've been selling higher end residential real estate for the past 30 years. In all this time, I've only had a couple of clients who didn't marry comparably educated partners. Yes, most men weren't looking for their wives to bring in substantial funds, but its about them "fitting in" to their social sphere. If a man is entertaining business associates & his wife isn't appropriate & can't add to the conversation, she is a liability.
In the past, most people got married straight out of college. They met their future mate there, so by the ages of 22-24, people were getting married. So, it was a given one would marry someone they met there. That's why the old joke was girls went to college to get their MRS degree.
I find it interesting that I knew this inherently. I’ve been happily married to a great man for 15 yrs who IS and has been MY HERO
But I have protection and money…. I can be my own hero without all the BS baggage that comes from being tied down to someone.
Most men I have met not only wanted to know my social status, but also the social status of my family...More, most men I know would not date and even socialize out of their social class.
But was that because he cared about the money or being able to present you as a top xyz. Or because being raised in “higher class” social circles leads to an understanding of how to present yourself. A woman is a reflection of who a man is. He simply cannot have his wife embarrassing him. So if he is in those social groups and parties, it would be in “his best interest” to get a woman who has already experienced that or is easily trained to be seamlessly bought into that life
That's funny. Because almost every man I have ever known can, has, and does date outside of their social class. Maybe it's a cultural thing...
@@ChaoticMoirathat’s been my experience too
I have never met a man who cared about a females social status.
@@andrewgoss6486 Lol, that is not true. You just didn't have that conversation with all the men you have met or never paid attention. An architect or a surgeon will not date or marry a waitress or a cashier in Walmart. Works in the opposite direction, too. A male carpenter will not consider marrying a bank manager or a big company owner.
Sometimes if you just don’t find the right one, just leave. For example, praising men sincerely for being a hero or make him feel needed is a good way for connecting, but doing it to the wrong person, it just boosts his ego and leads him to being a narcissist. Another issue is, being with a fake or wrong hero, if a woman tries to talk things through to build connection, as narcissistic as the guy is, he will think the woman is needy or immature. Not every man is right for you. When a man is not being a man, just leave. Just be a woman who creates connection with the one that seems right.
I agree : )
This comment doesn't have enough likes, it's straight facts..activating " hero" into the wrong man especially a narc is dangerous and leave you with mental trauma but the right man will give you peace and praise
Definitely agree about the narcissist relationship..it's a parent and child relationship, you will not get back the level of security or intimacy in return. It is a spiritual journey so if two people don't walk in agreement according to the word, walk away as it will be less painful and no attachments..it's all about surrender to Christ and serving our partner .period.
@julietruesdell.371 this the one right here 🔥
101
STAY SINGLE. It’s the best! 😊
That works for some people and mostly for some time. Being in an intimate, fulfilling relationship is HARD but for most of us it's worth the effort. Having said that, do whatever feels great for you. Many blessings.
This popped up and I'm like "choose"??? We don't even wanna be chosen no more....and we are not waiting to be chosen...single life is bliss!!❤❤❤❤we are not bitter, we are not lonely...what we are is happy!!!
Also for 6 years. Peaceful
...And I know is difficult but will be cool sharing a life with a couple who felt the same way we do. And all will be different. But where they are them then? The good news is that not any more mistaken...beautiful
I don't want to be single anymore. I want to share myself with a soul mate.
Thank you! I am raised by a single parenting mother, who was always very proud of her surviving alone after my father early death. I am strong, educated, independent woman. I have to change my attitude for men. Eyes-opening video!
Glad this was helpful.
Sad that you have to change all that “for men”.
@@joymelaniecloke6222exactly smh 🤦♀️
No you shouldn’t have to dumb yourself down to get a “man”. Any guy who’s threatened by a successful woman isn’t a man. That’s how abusive relationships start with a guy who always has to be in the position of power. Be careful. I speak from experience!
Just be feminine they will come in droves.
A guy i met is self aware, empathetic, & his cuteness brings it out EVEN more ! 😊
Yes, i want him to feel valued !!,
Thank you bern !! 😃
Glad this helped you : )
If a man wants me to need him then he has to be a provider. He has to have strengths where I am weak.
Married 40 years...just love.❤
Exactly. Treat others the way that you want to be treated.
You deserve more likes. It's extremely helpful and useful. Thank you!
Thank you so much : )
This is wisdom personified! Thank you so much for sharing these beneficial insights, which sincerely help us to understand how men think, and what they want and need. ❤
Christine, I appreciate your words and feel grateful this is helping you.
I agree with this, but the problem for me is that I really don't need anyone. I can admire and love people, but I am so independent (and that is something natural that I can't change) that I don't really need a man. Do I like and appreciate what someone contributes? Absolutely. But I don't need a hero and I can't really force that.
I'm not sure I can buy into being admired being the woman's responsibility. I have no problem admiring a man who is admirable. HE plays a role in whether or not I admire him. He needs to have quality to his character and do the right thing. Just like I don't trust someone who is not trustworthy. So guys, you play part in all this.
Absolutely, I'm not claiming that you should admire a guy who doesn't deserve it. What I'm saying is many women who connect with admirable men fail to express it because it's a vulnerable thing to do. : )
@@BernMendez Vulnerability and a safe place to be vulnerable is key to a healthy relationship along with respect and good character which then builds trust and leads to the ability to be vulnerable.
I’m sure most men have an admirable quality. Wow
Ooops... I am the independent badass 😂!!
I don't think I "need" any of these guys. Some of them are admirable, yes. I can't fake need anyway because I am not fake.
As for me, I would rather be friends with a man who can be my equal, than romantic with one who needs to be "needed". He himself is needy! 😉
Nevertheless, in general I appreciate your empathy for women. Your words and expressions are heartfelt.
Needing deep love isn't a flaw it's strength and an honest reality for most of us humans. If your independence works for you, all the power to you BUT... if there's something missing perhaps a notch or two of more vulnerability might be the biggest adventure you'll ever step into. Thanks for watching.
Dear Mendez,
I fully agree that vulnerability is the key to emotional growth and meaningful connections with others. Thanks for mentioning vulnerability. It's a beautiful state of being. My point is, needing to feel like a hero, is another form of validation seeking. These ideas are not celebrating the courage and independence that women aquire. When they get into toxic relationships, they suddenly need to muster exactly these to step out.
Also, it is a fine line that separates protective behavior from men and reinforcing patriarchal gender norms. Several societies are still struggling with patriarchy because of misplaced ideas of masculinity.
@@aditichandrasekar3279totally agree
Good thing your independent you’ll need it lol
Disagree with you. Good thing she is independent so she does not have to rely on someone who might feel the need to be in control and take care of a victim
I have tried to explain stuff like this to my wife, specifically about being needed. She says my need to be needed is my own problem and i need to change because she will not ever need me.
Energy and radiance are also rooted in DNA. Good video.
Thanks for watching.
I am sure that energy (as far at it is related to temperament) is widely determined by genes AND also upbringing. But radiance and feeling good in your skin, and a positive attitude can (and should be) cultivated. Just working on being more lighthearted, and beat up. Plus being more connected.
I think people should encourage abstinence before marriage. Why can't people wait for that until marriage. Is it really that difficult or is the person not worth the wait?
I don't encourage that but I do encourage it before an exclusive relationship with someone.
A sexual relationship is very important in most marriages. Not all partnerships are sexually compatible. It doesn’t make sense to wait until after marriage to find out that you’re sexually incompatible. Sex is also a normal part of adulthood. Christian religions have turned sex into a sinful act. It’s not. “Sin” only occurs when you act selfishly. You don’t need to be legally married to share deep and giving love together.
@@YukonFox1972 For me it would be religious. However there are also secular reasons for abstaining and waiting until marriage. Also I hear about soul ties and how someones trauma passes through sex to you as well as the increased risk of diseases and std's etc. BTW sex was created by God so it isn't a bad thing but it was intended to be within a marriage. So all thos nonesense on how religion makes sex as a negative is what people seem to always misconstrue.I don't know about you but I don't wanna be test driven like a car before I settle down with the right man. Male & Female are sexually compatible. And if you love someone you would find ways to love eachother like so many people like to say "unconditionally"🤣 except when it comes to sex right? which I honestly think is bogus to say people love eachother unconditionally. And yes I think most people understand that sexual relationship and compatibility is very important.
@@YukonFox1972if someone is sexually incompatible (whatever that means) he/she can learn how to...
By the way if you "test" people sexually how do you know that you found the one who passed the "most"?
@@Jules-740 Not everyone believes in “God” the way that you do, and God is not watching like a pervert to see when we sexually “sin” to throw us into the fiery pits of Hell. 🙄
Virginity as an adult isn’t important; people don’t lose their value after they become sexually active. Marriage is not a guarantee for love or even safety against disease-plenty of married people have contracted STIs from their cheating spouses.
As for soul ties, we have plenty of those that are nonsexual with family members and friends, and they cause us trauma too.
Condoms offer great protection against STIs, but I’m also not encouraging people to use sex as a recreational sport. As someone who’s been married, I can say with confidence that waiting until after marriage doesn’t guarantee a happy, sexually compatible, nor necessarily healthy sex life.
In the end, no one should feel pressured into having sex, but it’s psychologically damaging to use religious shame as a reason to abstain.
I always find the right ones> 6 to 7 years older. The one I met at age 16 had no clue how I felt; over 3,000 miles away for 7 years, until I matured. And those that begged, well, I couldn't understand that in grade 6, with mature girls 3 to 4 years older. I'm a born loner so, those from age 18 until a year before my return to Alaska, they wouldn't except friendship/time to get to know each other better, first. Knowing it was over, I'd wait for when they were ready to end the relationships. And yes, they knew about the Holdout. If a man answered my Holdout's phone, I wouldn't call for at least 6 months, let it play out, no questions asked. I'm 60 now, haven't dated or been with another in over 25 years> by choice. Your words are all true. GOOD LUCK OUT THERE! NOW, where was I going!? Ahhhh> back to PEACE & QUIET! Holdout: 1958-1992 < PLENTY FOR ME, STILL❤
Men so much care if you are financially in a very good position! Each time I meet the guy it’s the first question they ask what do I do. Kills me each time.
Picking the wrong ones
They all ask what do you do?
This perfectly describes why my last relationship failed, but at the same time I don't think I could have done anything much different to change the outcome except maybe offer more verbal praise in general and stop offering to help him with things alltogether? 🤷♀️
He was trying to do things for me and it wasn't working because everything he tried missed the mark a bit and I ended up being put in the position to turn down his efforts or tell him something didn't work. Not that I was critical or anything, his efforts just weren't working out for one reason or another. It wasn't anybody's fault, he just wasn't focusing on what was actually needed at that particular point in time. I hated being put in that position
On the flip side when I needed something easy, like comfort after a really hard day, he wasn't interested in being there for me. He only wanted to help or be a hero when it was convenient for him, not necessarily in regards to what I actually needed
I've never been put in that position in a relationship before so it sucked... especially since I really loved him and pictured a future with him
It may have been about incompatibility then. If you’re in sync with each other as a couple, you both know what the other needs and can be there for each other but also step back when needed. Maybe he felt that nothing he did was ever good enough, not based on your words but possibly because it didn’t seem to work out fine. Man or woman, that could leave someone feeling insecure about themselves.
@@mariancounsellor Honestly I watched a very detailed video the other day about avoidant attachment styles and every single thing they said matched what he was doing, so I think that's probably what it was. I've never dated someone avoidant before and I was super confused because it didn't make sense why our relationship wasn't working. We have tons in common, enjoy so many of the same things, and had great chemistry. Plus we'd been friends for 4 years before we dated and had lots of fun and would laugh together a lot. It was very easy when we were just friends. He was the one that pursued me but things changed once we got romantic. He was very insecure and got into his own head. He basically sabotaged the relationship and then ran away
The giving stuff I described above was small stuff, like he bought me some boots and they were a size too small so they didn't fit. I still thanked him for the gesture but I'm not sure what else I can do if they don't fit. He took it personally like I didn't like them even though I told him that I loved them and really wished they had fit. I wasn't at all negative about it. I don't know what else I could have done
I have lost my energy, and I don't think I will get back.
I'm sorry to hear this. Remember that life is seasons and after winter comes spring ; )
I think you’ll get it back soon enough!
Take a walk down the street and smile and go somewhere close to grab a bite. Like ice cream maybe. And just be in yourself
Maybe a therapist can help you find that energy again. If you are clinically depressed, that should be addressed by a professional.
Feeling undesired as a woman is like a slow death 😢
Thank you. Very enlightening. Any honestly I was so excited to hear you hear you use the phrase “couldn’t care less’ the right the way. And yeah, I realize saying that would rub off any guy. Just appreciating you. I won’t say it on a date lol
I was fun, made him feel alive, and he was very attracted to me. However he turned around and picked the boring stable girl with financial status who didn't need him. So i guess he was an exceptional case - the gold digger?
Not exeptional at all ;)
Makes total sense. No wonder I’m single. 😅
Glad this helped.
This is so essential. And yes, helpful, useful and insightful :). Thank you, Bern ❤
You're so welcome, Olga.
Really, they don’t care about social status?
I keep trying to get my “financial ducks in a row”, its my biggest insecurity
Working on your finances is a smart choice. Not meeting guys because you’re feeling insecure you’re not yet financially set is not needed. Choose a man who is into you not your cash 😊
Similarly, I’ve always thought I needed to be farther in my career before a marriageable man even looked in my direction. I thought a man would say, “Oh. You’re still in THAT position and haven’t moved up the ladder? I always thought that was a huge turn off for guys. Additionally, in the times when I wasn’t as far up the corporate ladder as I’ve liked, I’d always put myself down (rejecting myself before others reject me). Often, it’s the people I want to be pursued by who are the ones I’ll put down my shortcomings to. Like, one friend and romantic interest pointed out that I had a different hairstyle one day. It wasn’t in a bad way, and it’s understandable he said something because the change was so drastic. I couldn’t even look him in the eye when I fumbled my way through how earlier that year I became sick and lost my hair. He said he didn’t know, and I told him how I hid it from everyone. (I wore scarves on my head for a while). I hated my hair length at the time, and figured men did, too. Now I see one reason why he didn’t pursue me romantically was because I wasn’t alluring in that I wasn’t smiling and was hiding. 🤦🏽♀️
I have a lot of male friends. They don't care what you make but they do care if you are a financial wreck or have any indicators that you are a gold digger. Pay your debt off (exception - a mortgage or car payment).
@tek3freak, I don’t have any debt except for medical bills that keep compiling because the doctors need to run more tests. I can definitely pay them off, but medical bills are one of the biggest reasons why it’s hard for me to save extra money. I am by no means near any kind financial collapse, though. My deductible starts over in September, and I’ve already met it this year with plenty more bills to come (It’s 80/20 after the deductible). Anyway, I thought for sure the corporate ladder was a thing. Like, I know not all men want the woman C.E.O., but I also thought they didn’t want say, a secretary, either. Now that I’m typing this, I see how ironic that statement really is.
@@maritamuras8978 I don't think someone who cares about you is going to worry about medical debt. That's not the same as living beyond your means. American healthcare system is brutal. Hope some good fortune comes your way soon.
Men chose you by ranking their previous bed partners and deciding you might suit. Then they find out how much money you have and what you can do for them.
Stay away from those guys
This is all so true! Ladies, we are their reason for living. Don't underestimate yourselves.
Glad you found this helpful.
Yes until he change his mind and leave you for someone else
So helpful! 🙏🏻
Especially the points that he needs to feel needed, admired and most importantly that he needs to feel alive and in order for me to make him feel that way I have to be connected to myself and love myself😳
..that’s what I’ve been feeling.
My ex was the exception about the social status. He cared what I did for work and how much money I made. He ultimately dumped me because I couldn't help him meet his financial goals of bringing in 500K a year.
you dodged a bullet there
Glad you got away from him.
Many are. The video is about rare exemptions
Yeah, not all men are the same for sure! Some men really care about status.
Ok, if you need him to help financially, it turns him off… but he wants to feel needed…. Makes no sense
Asking him to step in financially is different than relying completely on him if he can't do it. : )
1. I hope it’s true because I do struggle with a “oh God! What if my credentials are good enough or high enough?” I had an ex say, I wish you were further ahead in life and it really struck with me unfortunately. At the time I was putting myself through school so I technically wasn’t “At his level”
Fortunately you're looking for a man who wants a partner not a job applicant. Keep shining strong.
Ugh so complicated, prefer to be single and love myself, guys ask for so many requirements
Choose myself you choose me. Simple
Thank you, thank you, and thank you... with your videos, I'm fixing all misconceptions done by myself in our long-distance communication. Now he just admitted he misses me and our romantic connection and that he can't wait to reconnect in September in person once hr is back to Europe 🥰
This is super thought-provoking; thank you! It’s especially interesting to hear the part about finances/ social status. I’ve always assumed men kind of resent it when women don’t come to the table on a similar or higher level financially. This is a good mind bender and points to me having a LOT to learn. 😅
Heather, Glad it was helpful!
Men only care about that if they're social climbers.
Most guys don’t act like they want you to need them , then your to needy . Can’t win.
Very true what he says and how people are attracted to one another and what makes them want to stay with you.
Phenomenal content! I’m a new sub and truly appreciate your analysis and insight.
Kristina, welcome! and I appreciate your words and your support! : )
I've heard that men need to feel respected and women need to feel love
That kind of aligns with #5
Good list
Thank you for watching.
I am that energetic menmagnet 😅! My man (and many more) shows so much interest 🤭. Can relate to this talk 100%.
Glad you found this validating : )
I love your channel.. it’s helped me through so many trials. Im happy to say I am empowered and magnetically feminine these days, for the most part at least 😂
I'm so happy to hear you're feeling empowered. It makes me feel grateful that this work along with what you're doing in your life is making you feel connected to your heart and your center.
You're amazing! Im glad I found your channel. 😊
Jamie, thank you so much for your kind words, and Welcome!
This at least delivers an explanation for my personal situation because I never felt like I needed a man. And I still don't tbh. Never intended to get married, never wanted children so there. Maybe that's the vibe I'm giving but honestly? It's peaceful. I'm rarely ever interested in someone romantically and those few times I was, it was very stressful.
Hi Kath, thanks for sharing. If this works for you then no need to change. If there's a deeper yearning for something beyond what you have on your own then a shift might be needed.
Ty for this guidance.
You're welcome, Loretta!
Thank you, sir. I will change and follow your advice. 👍😊
I am single because i choose to be.
I think a lot of women choose to be alone. It's hard to find a really good man
Yes!!, "looking for excitement & safety. " 😼😀
Thanks for watching, Wendi.
Freaking out right now, the guy I like looks exactly like you. Working of healing betrayal. Been single 20 years. So hard to trust again.
We were together almost 2 years. He said he could not afford me. Funny how I never asked himto afford me. Side note he stopped his divorce because she had a great money making job but he is not in love with her he is comfortable sleeping on the couch for 30 years. True his friends call her an ice queen. She is the boss. I want a hero not a zero
Some of this advice is outdated or for older generations, young men 40 and under do care about your money, in fact all my girlfriends married down, women today are more educated and own more homes compared to single men, men usually pick women that benefit them so women should do the same.
You are amazing !
Thank you, Susie : )
You really hit the nail on the head with the whole needing him thing because the truth is I'm a very independent woman. I have a high paying job working in health care and I live on my own. I am looking for connection but maybe its with a Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl Like me 😋 thank god I'm into girls too
Thank you so much Bern
Rosa, you're so welcome!!
As a woman, I've had a LOT of interest from men on a dating site and I can't get past the fact that they're not physically attractive to me. That's my #1 criteria. I also want to be respected, appreciated, and admired before being desired.
I think generalizations are not helpful to anyone.
Thanks for watching.
Looks come and looks go. After some years every man and woman will look different than at the beginning.
A man whose heart is attractive will become attractive from the outside after a while.
Of course, looks come and go... and of course, we ALL want a good heart - women AND men. We're just talking about *initial* attraction and the fact that these so-called "relationship coaches" insist that women don't regard physical attraction first, but men always do. Gotta love these generalizations that do NOT apply to all women. @@ZuerstJesus
Sorry but no. Attraction IS important. When you are an independent, educated woman who can provide for yourself, you expect more from men. Why? because you can, you are wife material. I am not talking about marrying a model or 30 years old hunk, I am talking of choosing a partner that you really want and desire as a man, even if he is in his 40s or 50s. When you get from your partner emotional support, love and respect, physical attraction is not less of importance. It's vital for a marriage to work properly. After 14 years I still look at my husband and think , hmmm, how handsome. Love when he dress well and other people look at him/us together. I can tell that even when he is mad at me, he tells me that I look good...jejeje. So yes, looks matters!
Its time to create these videos for men.
I'm not that energetic. I'm low key and reserved.
How does a woman need a man or show him she needs him? This genuinely doesn’t come naturally to me as I’ve never felt the need for a man, so I honestly don’t even understand.
I watched this video too late; he already knows I have my ish together financially 😩.
That's ok. Having your financials where they need to be isn't a problem. The problem would be thinking that's going to make him want you more, it won't : )
To be honest from what i have seen most masculine men want a happy go lucky women all the time🙄they want a soft voice and carefree attitude and dont do well when a woman is uspet or analyzes things. On the other side there are men who take advantage of these women bc they see them as easy. Logic and determination doesnt seem to do well with true masculine men. i dont want him to just see me as a feeling. lol. i have opinions and i am strong. Why do i have to act like a little girl to be liked lol. Never.better single than this
I'm the happy go lucky girl that acts like a little girl, but wants to be more mature.. I've had people tell me they thought I'm 10 y younger and I knew it was because of my behavior which made me feel embarrassed. I've been single for 6 years now because I've avoided man altogether exactly because of the taking advantage issue.. going to therapy soon to figure out my issues. I feel like mature men want to marry equally mature woman? but maybe I'm wrong
There's HOPE ❤⚓️ and I really appreciate your video. ThankZS for sharing your valuable knowledge 🙏
Love your content and accent ☺️
Very VERY helpful. Thank you ❤
Alison, I'm glad it was helpful 😊
So as a successful well educated woman with a great job and financial stability that means I’ll be single for life because I’m not a helpless damsel in distress? Well that’s just fine! I’d rather be single than dim my own light to cater to a weak man who’s threatened by a successful woman. 😜
With that attitude you might be alone lol
@@katemiller7874 Fine with me! I'm not willing to dumb myself down just to have a man. If you are, good luck with that! I know I deserve better! But just remember "A man is not a financial plan".
@@mindifisher2748agree
So dont be resourceful, dont have money, dont help him at all, but... be beautiful, have chemistry ( ie be beautiful) be in touch with your sensuality (ie be beautiful)( doesnt help much if you are not beautiful)
I qualify on point 2- I dont have money, so maybe Im in for a chance?
This isn't wjhat I shared... It's not about not being resourceful or not having money - it's more about not leading with that or thinking that's what guys will appreciate most. : )
I want it to be true.
Great video, thanks!
Absolutely amazing. Thank you for simplifying it.❤😊
You are so welcome!
I'm sorry Mr. Mendez, but I think people are just too varied to be put in a generalized category like this.. Everyone is different and individual and will find different things cute or admirable with regards to the opposite sex. That is IF they are even into the opposite/complementary sex/gender! This I realized after dating and trying to find "the one" since I was 25 and here I am pushing 40 in two weeks and I am single again. The last guy I was with broke it off with me last year in August after being with me for six long months. It took me a long time to get over the rejection, but it wasn't easy. I really thought he was my "one" because I was already 39 and I could have sworn he was also falling for me, but maybe now looking back, maybe I was just desperately delusional. It didn't help that I was very sexually attracted to him! This White Irish man (overweight and lived with his parents at also 39 turning 40), but I thought all that didn't matter because I thought our relationship could have inspired him to improve things!.. 😞 I really wanted to finally be a wife and mother but I guess it wasn't in the cards?
Edit: Oh nevermind, you said there were exceptions.. man, I wish mine wasn't the exception!
Also I realized after that experience that maybe it isn't the be all, end all, to have the title of wife and mother like a lot of women have dreamed of being or that is their goal. Maybe it's better to just focus on career, at least my career won't let me down! It will even PAY me if I put good, hard work in it!
Sorry for your pain, and thanks for watching.
You give them this yet they don’t choose you!
At this point I only want to be chosen by God. He never lets me down.
Human beings let each other down BUT... they also lift each other up.
This is super couraging !! 😮😮😊👏👏
: )
......"I want a man with a mind like a diamond......I want a man who knows what's best.....I want a man with shoes that cut and eyes that burn like cigarettes......."🤭........I want a man with a tight shirt and a lonnnnnnnng Jacket!!!🤗..........na na na na na na-na na na na nahhhhhna......
Thanks for watching!
Another great video Bern ❤thank you so much!
Thank you very much ❤
You're welcome 😊
Excitement + safety
You should add this applies to good google quality men. And most boa eats are far from that ! I learned hard way that hoping men to grow up is never happening . Once he is a boy not a men he will never grow up. Irresponsible , lazy, addicts - that’s what I see in most men. Nice good men is hard to find. I have a lot to give, always was a wife material. But I will not settle with a lazy men who exploits me ! I don’t want to be sauced of being Feminist, or strong woman who doesn’t need men. I do but I have to live some way and while being alone I have to be able to fix my drawer and be able to pump gas into my car. I can’t sit on a curb and wait till someone saves me . I want someone I admire and can be proud of ! I miss meeting someone valuable
I just ended it with a guy who was in his feminine energy and would pull me out of my feminine energy. I hated that! Never again I will date a man that needs constant praise for his looks but lacks in every thing else. I couldn’t admire him as much as I tried!
Oh, I need him. That's for sure. But guys don't tend to feel like taking care of someONE with an organic BRAIN injury/condition after abuse in a previous relationship. I have my moments, though, and I am getting better over the yrs.
So what happens when a man thinks your too needy? I can appreciate what you are saying but we are all individuals with individual needs!!
People are SENSUOUS.
Excellent exposition of your arguments!
Now that women dont need men because they arent property men are having a tough time with being a partner that is actually wanted and can add something more valuable to a woman’s life than she can herself.
What does 'a chip on your shoulder' mean?
you have a long lingering anger on something you just have not been able to
let go of. You carry a form of resentment all the time but can't chip away at it.
Resentment is inability to let go of a hurt.
Chip on your shoulder means you got something to prove.
You are awesome
Update: im starting to feel more alive
Breathwork helped ❤
I'm glad to read this comment.
YOU CHOOSE THE MAN, never the other way around!!!
Thankyou
You’re welcome 😊
So true about energy. Work on your happiness ladies and you will notice you are surrounded by men looking for women. So don't settle for less than what you are seeking. There is no need.
Talk about high maintenance
So many requirements
Well the year is almost over so I doubt that 😅
I found out by being myself men surround me but women hate me. I just am myself anyway. I don't steal men.
Simple beautiful!! Thank you 😊
You’re so welcome, Carla 😊
This is wise. On the other hand I, who want to be liked for my brain (and my cooking), feel awful when men just don't care about what I value in myself. I want to be sincere and it seems I would benefit more if I pretended to be a stupid doll, telling a guy he is so awesome :( I kind of lose respect for men who choose not so intelligent women with modified bodies. If they consider me and an empty doll... It's so humiliating! To feel alive... but with just anyone?
Thanks 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊