1 Raise your emotional state ignore things u don't like about yourself. 2 set boundaries about your time and energy so he invests in getting to know you so he'll value you more 3. Clarity make sure you want the same things 4 have a range of playfulness and seriousness 5 ask meaningful questions ie what they love hate aspire to which builds friendship which is essential for a relationship 6 shared vulnerability share things about your lives. investing by opening up 7 respectful stance and not be too ready for him by dating others too. Get him inspired to take the relationship to the next level. don't push it!
@@DR---jumping into an exclusive relationship quickly is very unhealthy. If a woman or man for that matter, connected so fast while not dating other people and it ended up not being a good fit that’s called time wasted.
Hey, I wanted to tell you I have watched many of your videos. Honestly, steps, stages, things to apply have been a great help to me. I am a widow of a little more than 2 yrs....dating a widower of 7 mos. I am 75, he is 77. We are having a wonderful time getting to know each other 5 mos. I have had a great need for all your advice and counseling however.....because I thought we were too old to have many of the challenges you talk about!!! Nope! not too old to have some dating issues......but at least we have years of "maturity" bahahahaha yeah. Anyway, I am very grateful for your wonderful talks. He and I are growing closer together and having a lot of fun! Thank you so much! He plans things for us to do, and I appreciate him, admire him and accept him.....and we have mutual respect. And I learned all my dating skills from BERN. 😳😍😊
Honestly..... I have been watching dating coaches for two years and I don't know if I appreciate mens inner workings 'towards dating' in specific. They are great with cars tho. Good luck all you ladies. You'll freaking need it.
I find it hard to believe any man wants to hear that a woman is dating other people. I totally agree with keepong options open until a man wants to step up. That has a whole energy to it that can inspire a man if you're valuable to him - but it's a vibe and not something you need to say. Just like I don't want a man to tell me he's dating other women if we haven't committed to each other. I assume he is and I don't give it another thought.
I like that your advice values beyond the physical attributes especially in this day and age where society seems more emotionally disconnected than ever. I truly hope your videos live on the internet forever.. ❤😊
God knew it was my season to find my husband, and your videos help me to communicate with those I’m considering for relationships. One in particular I’m really fond of, but we are taking it slow.
Absolutely everything was right on spot on brother everything that a real woman wants in a man could’ve said it better. Thanks for doing this. Good luck and success to you.
This video feels like the summary of your entire dating philosophy. It’s perfect. The only question I have is about the part where I keep my options open. How do I have this conversation without making them think I don’t see their value?
You share that you date unexclusively until both determine through time that you’re an ideal fit for each other. You also share your boundaries (physical, sexual et)c so they know you’re not going all the way with anyone. Here’s the thing he’ll either accept it or not. If he doesn’t it’s too risky for you so you move on.
@@BernMendez this is something I want more practice on. Do you have anymore videos on the topic of keeping options open? Atm I am in place of fear of "settling"...
I’m very open and outgoing person when it comes to relationship my uniqueness never shows up they never connect with me emotionally looks like I was the issue but they were also SO cold and growing up in a home where both parents were emotionally unavailable and it caused me to be uncomfortable to express myself now I’m learning. Thank you so much. No wonder why I’m single 🥺praying for a healthy love and a committal man for me
I LIKED 👍 and SUBSCRIBE I L❤️VE how you thoroughly explained everything. Bec everything what you said is exactly happening to me and this Man I'm getting to know. I'm on the RIGHT TRACK❤️❤️❤️
Thank u so much I appreciate it, I been following you and applying everything you teach, and I am dating an amazing man, we are connecting emotional and he is sharing a lot with me, but he knows I am not dating somebody else and we already kiss and hug. How can I tell him that I am going to date others if I kiss him. He going to think that I am going to kiss everyone because I already did it with him. ?? I am confused and also he told me that he is only dating me and he doesn’t like when woman are dating multiple people. Thanks Mr. Mendez
Ahhh and specially after he shared with me deep things and how I know he will react to rejection or his perception of rejection that will push him away, I don’t think me going out with other will help, I am wrong???
@@lorys.7105 Don’t tell him everything about your life! He doesn’t need to know you’re dating anyone else! If you don’t have a true commitment from him as in him declaring his love for you and telling you he wants to marry you, you don’t belong to him. And don’t believe him when he says he’s not seeing anyone else. Keep your cards close to you and watch his actions not his words!
It’s crazy how basic this advice is and yet SO NEEDED nowadays! Women give it up too easy now because I mean, we want it too lol, but we are giving up our power! We have the luxury of saying when and where but when we are all giving it up easier and quicker now without any effort or work from them, they’re gone and on to the next “challenge” that will give it up. I love your car analogy. I remember my dad saying that’s exactly why we had to buy our own cars (even though he could afford to buy all 5 of us a car), because we “wouldn’t have any skin in the game” & take it for granted if he just handed us a car. And he was right. But when men can swipe on an app to find someone to have sex with now, it makes it difficult for the women that expect some effort before giving it up, since they can go home to their app to find someone else. this is why if I really need it and not dating anyone at the moment, I refuse to go on an app and instead I call someone already on the roster lol (an old ex that I know cares about me, previously put in the work, so it’s not meaningless but that I also know I won’t get attached to because been there, done that and it didn’t work lol) To sleep with anyone new, I have to see some effort and genuine feelings developing first!
Hi Lauren, thank you for watching. Apps done well can yield a far greater return on your time investment than a "safe" ex who isn't husband material for you. It's not easy but it's doable. Keep holding the vision for what you want.
What if the physical has already happened, kisses hugs and cuddles. How do you move from there? He doesn't ask to know about me much but he opens up about himself when I ask. We always meet at my place. Is he serious? Or I'm I wasting time?
I think this doesn't apply to today's men, they don't have time to get to know any women. It's easy and they have many options, to them once women says NO, they say next.
Wrt to dating others, how do you walk the line of keeping options open vs putting them off because you don't seem committed yourself? I think I've been too safe an option in the past, which, as you said, sometimes doesn't get valued, unfortunately. So you commit when they commit? Sounds fair, I guess.
It is very difficult but somewhat possible if the frequency of in person visits is relatively frequent. Having said this, the depth of connection during video calls and the ability to update each other about day to day life matters.
You're boundaries vid is a method I've engaged in for a while... only bc (and you hit the nail on the head..) intelligent females, eg... me, have a difficult time... and most men are quickly intimidated.
Want to attract better men today? Free training: bit.ly/my-dating-cure-training | Want to work with Bern? bit.ly/speakwithbern
Ppppp
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Pppp
1 Raise your emotional state ignore things u don't like about yourself.
2 set boundaries about your time and energy so he invests in getting to know you so he'll value you more
3. Clarity make sure you want the same things
4 have a range of playfulness and seriousness
5 ask meaningful questions ie what they love hate aspire to which builds friendship which is essential for a relationship
6 shared vulnerability share things about your lives. investing by opening up
7 respectful stance and not be too ready for him by dating others too. Get him inspired to take the relationship to the next level. don't push it!
Thanks for watching.
@@DR---jumping into an exclusive relationship quickly is very unhealthy. If a woman or man for that matter, connected so fast while not dating other people and it ended up not being a good fit that’s called time wasted.
Thank you!!😊
Hey, I wanted to tell you I have watched many of your videos. Honestly, steps, stages, things to apply have been a great help to me. I am a widow of a little more than 2 yrs....dating a widower of 7 mos. I am 75, he is 77. We are having a wonderful time getting to know each other 5 mos. I have had a great need for all your advice and counseling however.....because I thought we were too old to have many of the challenges you talk about!!! Nope! not too old to have some dating issues......but at least we have years of "maturity" bahahahaha yeah. Anyway, I am very grateful for your wonderful talks. He and I are growing closer together and having a lot of fun! Thank you so much! He plans things for us to do, and I appreciate him, admire him and accept him.....and we have mutual respect. And I learned all my dating skills from BERN. 😳😍😊
Thank you so much for sharing and glad my videos are useful to you.
Honestly..... I have been watching dating coaches for two years and I don't know if I appreciate mens inner workings 'towards dating' in specific. They are great with cars tho. Good luck all you ladies. You'll freaking need it.
The first thing I noticed was your charisma which is very attractive. Secondly, the content you put out is very valuable.
Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate your support. 🙏😊
I find it hard to believe any man wants to hear that a woman is dating other people. I totally agree with keepong options open until a man wants to step up. That has a whole energy to it that can inspire a man if you're valuable to him - but it's a vibe and not something you need to say. Just like I don't want a man to tell me he's dating other women if we haven't committed to each other. I assume he is and I don't give it another thought.
I agree 💯
Agreed!!
I like that your advice values beyond the physical attributes especially in this day and age where society seems more emotionally disconnected than ever. I truly hope your videos live on the internet forever.. ❤😊
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m happy you found this video useful.
Congratulations, I enjoyed so much your advice, it was like re-enforce of values for a better “you” in all aspects of a relationship.
Bernardo you are a breath of fresh of air. Your wife and your boys are blessed.
Thank you so much Vanessa. I’m not married but I do have a life partner 🙏
God knew it was my season to find my husband, and your videos help me to communicate with those I’m considering for relationships. One in particular I’m really fond of, but we are taking it slow.
Taking it slow is always best. 🙏
I've watched Bern's videos for three years plus now and I learn something new and beautiful each time,be blessed
Thank you for your kind words 🙏
Love ur analogies!!!...Ur an amazing human being!!! Thank you for helping us!!!...🙏❤
You are so welcome, Christina. So glad this was helpful : )
Absolutely everything was right on spot on brother everything that a real woman wants in a man could’ve said it better. Thanks for doing this. Good luck and success to you.
Thank you for your support and kindness : )
I love the information in this video you are always on point. I thank you very much for sharing your knowledge & wisdom about men & relationship.
Grateful you found this useful, Marsha 🙏😊
This video feels like the summary of your entire dating philosophy. It’s perfect. The only question I have is about the part where I keep my options open. How do I have this conversation without making them think I don’t see their value?
You share that you date unexclusively until both determine through time that you’re an ideal fit for each other.
You also share your boundaries (physical, sexual et)c so they know you’re not going all the way with anyone.
Here’s the thing he’ll either accept it or not. If he doesn’t it’s too risky for you so you move on.
@@BernMendez Thank you so much for clarifying, I appreciate you!
@@BernMendez this is something I want more practice on. Do you have anymore videos on the topic of keeping options open? Atm I am in place of fear of "settling"...
I’m very open and outgoing person when it comes to relationship my uniqueness never shows up they never connect with me emotionally looks like I was the issue but they were also SO cold and growing up in a home where both parents were emotionally unavailable and it caused me to be uncomfortable to express myself now I’m learning. Thank you so much. No wonder why I’m single 🥺praying for a healthy love and a committal man for me
Love this! Thanks for offering meaningful insights. ❤
You are so welcome!
Thank you so much for all of your sage, advice, and guidance. I am getting back into the dating game, and your suggestions are very helpful
Glad you found this useful.
Awesome video!!! So many amazing gems! Thank you!💕
You're so welcome! Glad you enjoyed it.
I like your advice. It’s awesome
Glad you find it useful Melissa 😊
This is Gold! 🙌💗
Thank you. Glad you found it useful.
I really loved this video Bern. Thank you!
Thank you, Danielle for watching and commenting : )
@@BernMendez thank you for taking the time to personally reply Bern!
Great advice Bern. Thank you!!
Glad it was helpful!
Great message
Glad you liked it. 🙏
"Sometimes we don't know what to do with those feelings." Sometimes??? What does "too safe" mean?
I LIKED 👍 and SUBSCRIBE
I L❤️VE how you thoroughly explained everything. Bec everything what you said is exactly happening to me and this Man I'm getting to know. I'm on the RIGHT TRACK❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for subscribing, excited you're on the right track.
This video is a must be listen to one more time on a continuum
Thank you.
I think my problem is, I want a relationship but I'm afraid of commitment.
What's there to be affraid about? 😊
You can always leave and if he leaves that means he wasn't the one for you anyway. ❤
A lot of wisdom, thank you
Great and truthful advise!
Elevate yr vibe energy , focus on attitude
Set yr boundaries
He want to be seen , validated, to be yr hero
Carmen, thanks for watching!
@@BernMendez Bern I've been watching yr channel for a long time , wish you good continuation!
Thank you so much!
Powerful. Thank you goodness
You’re most welcome.
wow wonderful video! thank you so much!
You’re most welcome,Kristina.
I really enjoyed it. And I learnt alot too
Thanks for watching!
Great video Bernardo🥰🥰🥰🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
This was definitely helpful!
Glad you think so, Maria : )
Love your videos Bern ❣️
Thank you : )
Thank u so much I appreciate it, I been following you and applying everything you teach, and I am dating an amazing man, we are connecting emotional and he is sharing a lot with me, but he knows I am not dating somebody else and we already kiss and hug. How can I tell him that I am going to date others if I kiss him. He going to think that I am going to kiss everyone because I already did it with him. ?? I am confused and also he told me that he is only dating me and he doesn’t like when woman are dating multiple people. Thanks Mr. Mendez
Ahhh and specially after he shared with me deep things and how I know he will react to rejection or his perception of rejection that will push him away, I don’t think me going out with other will help, I am wrong???
@@lorys.7105 Don’t tell him everything about your life! He doesn’t need to know you’re dating anyone else! If you don’t have a true commitment from him as in him declaring his love for you and telling you he wants to marry you, you don’t belong to him. And don’t believe him when he says he’s not seeing anyone else. Keep your cards close to you and watch his actions not his words!
Bernardo, you are the best, thank you 😊 ok, You and John Gray 😊❤
It’s crazy how basic this advice is and yet SO NEEDED nowadays! Women give it up too easy now because I mean, we want it too lol, but we are giving up our power! We have the luxury of saying when and where but when we are all giving it up easier and quicker now without any effort or work from them, they’re gone and on to the next “challenge” that will give it up. I love your car analogy. I remember my dad saying that’s exactly why we had to buy our own cars (even though he could afford to buy all 5 of us a car), because we “wouldn’t have any skin in the game” & take it for granted if he just handed us a car. And he was right. But when men can swipe on an app to find someone to have sex with now, it makes it difficult for the women that expect some effort before giving it up, since they can go home to their app to find someone else. this is why if I really need it and not dating anyone at the moment, I refuse to go on an app and instead I call someone already on the roster lol (an old ex that I know cares about me, previously put in the work, so it’s not meaningless but that I also know I won’t get attached to because been there, done that and it didn’t work lol) To sleep with anyone new, I have to see some effort and genuine feelings developing first!
Hi Lauren, thank you for watching. Apps done well can yield a far greater return on your time investment than a "safe" ex who isn't husband material for you. It's not easy but it's doable. Keep holding the vision for what you want.
What if the physical has already happened, kisses hugs and cuddles. How do you move from there? He doesn't ask to know about me much but he opens up about himself when I ask. We always meet at my place. Is he serious? Or I'm I wasting time?
I don't have enough data to say if you're wasting your time or not. :)
I think this doesn't apply to today's men, they don't have time to get to know any women. It's easy and they have many options, to them once women says NO, they say next.
Wrt to dating others, how do you walk the line of keeping options open vs putting them off because you don't seem committed yourself? I think I've been too safe an option in the past, which, as you said, sometimes doesn't get valued, unfortunately. So you commit when they commit? Sounds fair, I guess.
Doesn't matter if they're emotionally attracted/bonded with you, they will still cheat.
Thanks Bern 🍀💖🙏💖🍀
You're welcome 😊
How to do this in a long distance relationship?
It is very difficult but somewhat possible if the frequency of in person visits is relatively frequent. Having said this, the depth of connection during video calls and the ability to update each other about day to day life matters.
Thank you ! Omg
You're welcome, Carmen : )
You're boundaries vid is a method I've engaged in for a while... only bc (and you hit the nail on the head..) intelligent females, eg... me, have a difficult time... and most men are quickly intimidated.
right on!
Thank you!
Fire in the ass urgency :)
I love it 💓
Thank you : )
Fire in the ass comment had me cracking up. Very true but so funny 😂
7:24 how long do y recommend?
Great Advice ❤❤😂😂
Thank you, Gisela.
Gems
Thank you!
❤
Thanks for watching.
🙌🙌🙌💖🙏✨️✨️✨️🤗
Thanks for watching.
@@BernMendez you're welcome! Thank you for sharing your knowledge & wisdom!🙏
If you say a guy, then say a girl.. Don't say a guy and a woman... It sounds kinda not fair.. 😮
Really good, useful, helpful advice, as always.
Glad it was helpful :)
💝
:)
@@BernMendez ☺
EXCELLENT !!!! ADVICE !!!!💝
💝
Glad you enjoyed this!