Forget red flags, this man was lighting fireworks. We as women have stop believing what a man says and look at what he does. That will tell you everything you need to know. You are worth more than this!
the first red flag is to online dating,,and on this tinder..clearly its all about S..I Never been on it and will never because this is what you ll come accross 80% of times..its trash..and be in no doubt that men on it wont wait for marriage etc..
I don't care what race you are. You know about respect. This person insults her every chance he gets. I'm having a difficult time listening to her letter. The series of disrespect is giving me discomfort. And this ain't even my man. Girl, if you don't go on about your business...🥺😩
Right! The way he treated her is in direct correlation to how she feels about herself, unfortunately. I pray she learns to love herself and will never tolerate behavior like this again.
@@lynnerene Yes, a little self-love goes a long way. Also, for him to mistreat her bc he has a tiny twig is inexcusable. The nerve of him to ask for a gross threesome with his itty-bitty member. And when he asked her to keep the used condom as a memoir... I think, I blanked out for a minute. Ughhh!🤦🏽♀️😩😩😩
Ladies please listen to this video very hard !!!! 1. You should NEVER stay with a dude that hurts you feelings on purpose 2. If a dude says “I love you” after 1,2, months RED FLAG 🚩 3. Always be busy and make time for him. Be more occupied focused on YOU and not Love .
Well, the good thing is she’s super young, has a great career ahead of her, and has ONLY been with one man. Sis you’re sparkling practically lol. Practically a diamond! Lol. She can start over and act like this foolishness never even happened.
I work in the medical field, we had a patient that was sexually assaulted on her first date from a guy from Tinder, Blessed Tribe please listen to Tony! Come off of these dating sites! Tony approved the 50 and up to do it, but I still don’t! Let’s get out the house, smile and attract better than what we had!
Narcissist trying to break her and use her as a source of his supply. Sicko. She must have a history of emotional abuse to stay binded with this creep. This is good advice sir. 💯👏
I had a friend she has sex with a white guy that just wanted to experience sex with a black women .. he was telling her stories about wanting to be together when it was pure crap .. I told her something was off about him but she didn’t listen he’s now married to a white women… lots of men will date every race to experiment but to settle down and marry it’s only his race he see as marriage material.. dating outside your race or in your race no sex should be involved most men you can’t hold their attention if you don’t have sex after the 1st date so that lets them fall of on their own… when dating no sex… that is reserved for marriage.
I stopped at 16 minutes, once I saw your comment up top. 25 minutes! Chile, I'm going on break now, I will be back to the schedule program later tonight!😩
I was shocked at what she put up with even before sleeping with him. So I knew it was downhill once she did. First time he talked out the side of his neck she should have got her purse strap, threw it over her shoulder and said "got to go".
to the 21 year old that sent this in, I honestly pray you watch this video and take the lessons, at this early age you are in the perfect space to grow, raise your self esteem and meet the best version of yourself ❤️ I can only hope you really do that, you wont go wrong REALLY listening to Tony Gaskins x
I have never been through this level of abuse but I can relate to this girl, having had low self esteem. People through out my life have walked on me. What you think about yourself really does come back to you in this way. But the last year I have been pouring into myself as much as possible, and actively standing up for myself when people try me. And the disrespect still happens, but I see it as training ground, and a sign that work still needs to be done internally. At some point you realize you can't live a happy life as a human punching bag. It is a lot of work to reverse but absolutely necessary.
I needed this. I have hated myself most of my life. That is why I've had such lousy relationships with men who did not deserve me. Thank you, Tony. You are doing God's work!
I dated a white man in my 20s. During dinner he kept staring at my mouth saying "you got some big lips." "Hey big lips." He blamed it on the red wine but it ended soon after that. My mother told me he was uncomfortable with my features. I just know I felt like I was back in school being teased.
His mind was in the gutter. Are you familiar with the acronym, DSL? Those lips we were teased about as children are now the same lips men fantasize about. Women spend $$$$ on cosmetic procedures and lip plumping products for the desired pout.💋👄 When a guy compliments my smile, it hits different than when he compliments my lips.
This is the thing with men, they just want to experiment with different races, but he knew full well that he felt u had big lips before he went on the date with you, so he shouldn't have dated you and definitely should not have said something like that even if that's what he was thinking. I have looked at white women and men and said ....dang, this person got zero lips, but out of respect for the human being I would never say it, I just wouldn't date that person. There is nothing wrong with your lips, he was just used to women with little to no lips and that is where he should stay.
It breaks my heart that this bubbly educated articulate girl with beautiful soul, believing in love and nice things, had to fell into the hands of a no-character joker and be treated like this. I wish all girls and women knew their worth and had self-love so that such behaviours would never be accepted, let alone rewarded, even if it would be from the last man on Earth ! Ladies whenever you see such red flags, distance yourselves, don't ever allow someone to have the audacity to think it's their place to measure your beauty, criticize your body or bring you down, to make you feel lucky that they're offering you some breadcrumbs of attention and affection, to emotionally abu*e you by playing with words, your heart and self-esteem. Dear lady if you see this, i will coach you a couple of sessions for free, just let me know.
OMG Tony this was the reason why I was led to your page.. My last relationship was from tinder and I would never ever get on there again.. I thought this man was my husband but he was a decoy He checked off everything that I wanted in a man and then he just flipped on me He made it seem like I was the problem I was the issue and he told me that he needed a break I gave him a break because he constantly used to tell me I need a break every time we have a disagreement so I got tired of it and I allow him to have a break and I came back a week later and he said it was my fault and it hurted because I wanted to really be with this man but looking back I thank God that I'm not with him because I wouldn't have healed I wouldn't have learned the things that I have learned today I wouldn't have been led to your page by God and I just thank God for you I have grown in so many ways Yes I'm still single but I'm happy because I'm working on myself I'm working on my career I'm focusing on my child and I'm okay with that because God said when the time is right I the Lord will make it happen so thank you again Tony you are such a blessing!!!
“He did a back flip” ???? *stares in Tony gaskins* 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Long letter of disrespect smh He sound like one of those ugly insecure dudes that try and take his issues out on women. I can’t stand men like that and she need to continue listening to his videos because she need to WAKE UP
29 minutes of listening whilst driving and I'm still hooked to her analytics of his total nonsense, bless her! Literally now sitting in a parked car waiting for Tony's response🤣
Interracial dating can be beautiful but is tough. I'm white and found when I dated black men they already had these stereotypes about white women in their heads. When they found I didn't fit the narrative, I was disrespected and dismissed. I'm weary of men who date different races to fulfill some weird fetish. If they start out with I love a specific race of women, I cringe and back off. Many black, white, latino men do it. Women are objectified one way or the other in general. I don't mean to sound bitter but that's just my experience.
Use the pureness of your soul to feel if there is love there. He will tell on himself if it is not really about enjoying you, as you express you have your filter of intent trained well as to what a man wants. Tony gave great notes on this, I listened 2 and a 1/2 times to capture some show notes for my own soul and posted that on my Facebook wall and here in the comments.
Let's be honest. There are also many women who do this to men of other races , colors and ethnicities. A co-worker of mine, a BM, stayed for 5 years with a WW. He really loved her, he did everything and beyond for her. He was making plans about marrying and having a future with her. But suddenly it comes out that she was already engaged with another man (since they were kids!) and she told him about it suddenly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He was shocked, heartbroken and when he asked her "so why did you stay with me for so long?" she answered "You were just a side guy to have fun with. But did you really believe that I could love and get married to someone who looks like you?" (y'all know what she meant). And she broke up with him just when he was about to propose to her. She ended up to marry the guy who always was her official fiance. And yes, she clearly admitted that she used him "to try his lower parts" but at the same time, she had never thought about something serious with him. And the consequences were that he was so emotionally devastated that he had to quit the work for a long period of time and go to a therapist because he was about to have a mental breakdown.
Her dream was GOD trying to warn her: the enemy was going to send a demonic agent to her life. I pray she finds Jesus and gets healing and deliverance. The man himself has a lot of demons. He needs genuine salvation and extensive deliverance
It all started making sense when she admitted that she made fun of his manhood. He was often disrespectful and she only said one thing. However, grown boys cannot take what they dish out.
When we touch sensitive subjects, even in a joking matter, there is no turning back! The relationship will go downhill. It is difficult to get trust back. Men don’t easily forgive like women.
to represent the peewee weeny-holderz 😂😂😂😂 btw...it requires a lot of faith in God to not sleep with a man till the wedding night and trust that he is decently to well endowed...so if i get a marriage proposal I may just put my answer on hold until I subtly do me a d--k check 😂😂🙌👑
If he is a grown man, he either already knows your culture (not in a superficial way) and loves it already, or is willing to learn and asks GOOD and RESPECTABLE questions.
"When you put somebody on a pedestal, they gonna look down on you." What is just as sad as guys who try to put their women down in order to build themselves up, is women giving their men this God-like adoration at the expense of their own self worth. A former friend of mine would gush about how amazingly attractive her husband was, how he could have any woman he wanted, yet he married her... I didn't see it that way, they were both equally attractive and I for one was NOT absolutely gagging to sleep with this guy! She was lucky he didn't seem to take advantage of her fawning attitude but too many women are not so lucky. Is great (and important) to have a partner you find attractive but this does not mean you got to be ugly or constantly made to feel ugly.
I am also Indian, and I have made a lot of horrible dating mistakes, also due to my culture and my father being emotionally unavailable and invalidating. Basically we are taught to sacrifice (in the disguise of uncondtional love for others except ourself) ourselves as mothers, wives , caregivers and also at school and at work we are expected to ignore our boundaries and feelings and just work and study like robots. It is also considered selfish to complain. I dont know if this is culture or also a mix of poverty/postcolonial mindset but this causes for us to excel in many fields and is also the cause of our succes in our own and other countries. However people, and especially men, see this unconditonal love as a sign of weakness and therefore we are prone to mis use and abuse. Uncle Tony mentioned his wife being half Indian, I recognize her work ethics as typically Indian. We as Indian women should use that unconditonal love and learn to be selfish and apply it on ourselves first to say the least. To be clear I ADORE my culture and religion and wouldnt want to trade it for ANYTHING. Even when I had extreme low esteem issues I never wanted to be another race.
@@curiositykillsthe2597 Ah thanks so much. Ive never heard of that term. However the sacrificial part and the unconditonal love part is very Indian. The sacrificial part has to do with our mythological stories about Sita putting herself on the burning stake to prove her "purity" 😒🙄 to god Ram. And the unconditional love part is something I am really proud of but it is not suitable in this day and age, where everybody has become so damn selfish.
That grown boy is broke busted and disgusted (Tony voice) and I mean mentally, he needs to heal , he tried to break you sis, but he didn't, work on loving you more and learning new ways to spot these kind of demons. God bless you sis and Tony . You're so patient 💚
I'm not gonna lie; cared way too much about the guy than should've gone about my biz a long time ago! Sister, you will find someone who will appreciate the person that you are!
Sisssss, I started listening to this Talks at 6:35am on the way to work. It's now 3:17pm and Tony is STILL reading this question. Nahhhh Sis....just gone bout yo business. 😩😩😩
The man in the first story that the Indian woman was dating is clearly a Narcissist. He shows all signs. 1. He is gaslighting her 2. He is talking down on her 3. He is love bombing her in the beginning, wanting to meet all the time 4. He can't deal with criticism 5. Says and does things that he knows, will hurt her 6. He gives her some love one second, the next second he puts her down 7. He says he will change, but doing the opposite (by intention) 8. His jokes are mean, because they aren't actually jokes 9. He needs alot of attention, which he is not willing to give back to other people 10. He is lying about important points of his live 11. He is bragging about how much he earns and how successful he is
I’m so proud she’s 11 months past him and doesn’t plan on going back! No matter what she went through with him, she’s still strong to keep it moving because A LOT of women wouldn’t have. I can’t wait till I get to that 11 month mark. I’m 2 months in.
This makes me so sad. Not having a Father in my household growing up I had no example of what to look for or what was acceptable. My first boyfriend in high school drug me through the mud and I was so sweet to him no matter how awful he was. My first boyfriend in college was also horrible. It wasn’t until my last fling 10 years ago that I finally woke up to it all. I have now spent the last 10 years healing, focusing on myself, developing relationship standards. I am almost 50 years old and finally ready for a healthy relationship. In my 20s, 30s, early 40s there weren’t any videos like this to teach me what I needed to know. I just wish I could rewind the clock and do things differently.
I agree with Tony when he says we as women use the word lose and without true understanding, but please Tony can u call this spade a spade , this is where u are allowed to call this dude a Narcissist!! Omg I could hardly stand to hear this! But u said we are here together but this is ughhh . I was done around #5 or #6
Small Dong Disorder (SDD) or Small Dong Syndrome (SDS) is very real & millions of “men” all over the world are suffering from this condition. If you ever come across one...run & run very fast & never look back!!!
Man🤣😂 when he threw up that pinky finger I was PRAYING that he wouldn’t grab that candle lighter and start waving in in the camera like the last video🤣 I bout threw my phone and was in tears when he did that🤣😂😂
*THRICE* . Tony says he hasn't heard that since the bible. 🤣🤣🤣 We will find that unAmericanized people from the regions of India & Pakistan speak this way. I had a friend from and still living in Pakistan and she would talk like this. Half the time she would email me (it was mainly an email exchange of me mentoring her for 11 years) and I could barely understand what she was saying. She taught me a lot about their culture and religion while she was trying hard to learn spirituality from me.
What is this foolishness??? This email had my face so scrunched up with frustration! I can't help but feel that the young lady has plenty of book smarts, but no street smarts. I'll venture to say that the later is need more than the former. His small TOOL is the reason behind all his crazy behavior. Another thing I've come to understand as is that it's not so important that why the other person does what they do...as it is important why you stay and choose to be a willing participant in your own pain. It seems like we seek to figure out why would a person behave that way, while missing the greater revelation about ourselves and the lesson to be learned so we can grow.
Valuable. It's confirmation. Most of us know these things, but it sets a foundation of what is healthy and the unhealthy (potential feedback, and potential red flags that may arise).
Wow your 1st love/ thing. We were all crazy during our 1st love relationship and extremely young. I hate this dude bashed you repeatedly (because words can stick like glue) and you allowed it. Lesson learned. Now you must and have to rebuild yourself back up before seeking another relationship🙏🏽
This poor girl MUST have gotten a HUGE release from writing this long about that loser of a boyfriend. I get it. Some people can do that to us because they are so *confounding* (I'm not sure that's the proper use of that word but as Tony can say - "We gon' use it today").
Wow I'm glad she got free. It's crazy that I also had a dream similar before I entered a toxic relationship too... airplanes falling out the sky and bombs everywhere...I understood the war I survived AFTER the fact
“Just because a man will sleep with you, doesn’t mean he likes you.” TG
Facts
99.9% of the time if he doesn’t want to marry you he doesn’t like you that much
Men will sleep with anything to survive and whatever is warm.
@Joyful n Blessed
Agreed. 💯 We, women, have to stop accepting bad behavior and punishment for men’s insecurities.
Right these men will sleep with anyone… having a man marry you and genuinely love and respect you is two different things
Forget red flags, this man was lighting fireworks. We as women have stop believing what a man says and look at what he does. That will tell you everything you need to know. You are worth more than this!
Yasss
okay, this was a billboard.......she shouldve been left him
Action speaks louder than words.
the first red flag is to online dating,,and on this tinder..clearly its all about S..I Never been on it and will never because this is what you ll come accross 80% of times..its trash..and be in no doubt that men on it wont wait for marriage etc..
She should have put a stop to this with the first insult.
I don't care what race you are. You know about respect. This person insults her every chance he gets. I'm having a difficult time listening to her letter. The series of disrespect is giving me discomfort. And this ain't even my man. Girl, if you don't go on about your business...🥺😩
🙏
Right! The way he treated her is in direct correlation to how she feels about herself, unfortunately. I pray she learns to love herself and will never tolerate behavior like this again.
@@lynnerene Yes, a little self-love goes a long way. Also, for him to mistreat her bc he has a tiny twig is inexcusable. The nerve of him to ask for a gross threesome with his itty-bitty member. And when he asked her to keep the used condom as a memoir... I think, I blanked out for a minute. Ughhh!🤦🏽♀️😩😩😩
@@jewelsafire6844 I absolutely blanked out😳!!
You ain’t never lied!!!
Ladies please listen to this video very hard !!!!
1. You should NEVER stay with a dude that hurts you feelings on purpose
2. If a dude says “I love you” after 1,2, months RED FLAG 🚩
3. Always be busy and make time for him. Be more occupied focused on YOU and not Love .
Well, the good thing is she’s super young, has a great career ahead of her, and has ONLY been with one man. Sis you’re sparkling practically lol. Practically a diamond! Lol. She can start over and act like this foolishness never even happened.
And she learned a BAG of red flags from him. Take the knowledge and 🏃🏾♀️💨 !
Facts! Learn and do ever do it again!!! 🤣
amen
Thank God she didn’t get pregnant!
I work in the medical field, we had a patient that was sexually assaulted on her first date from a guy from Tinder, Blessed Tribe please listen to Tony! Come off of these dating sites! Tony approved the 50 and up to do it, but I still don’t! Let’s get out the house, smile and attract better than what we had!
Amen Sista!🤔
Do not meet a men on tinder… I dont use dating sites.. they all in relationship as my friend said she deleted the app
18 mins in and Tony is still reading the letter...... we in this together
I needed a break before continuing. Wore me out😳!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
lmbo
😆 🤣 😂
😂🤣😂😅whew!
🤦🏽♀️ “ Don’t let your desperation talk you out of your common sense”. TG
Erasmus is a University college. and yes tony we have Christmas in Europe 🤣🤣🤣 this man🤣
Narcissist trying to break her and use her as a source of his supply. Sicko. She must have a history of emotional abuse to stay binded with this creep.
This is good advice sir. 💯👏
My jaw dropped when she said he took her virginity. Poor girl
We, women, need to own giving away our virginity when it’s consensual. (“I gave him my virginity.”)
@@Dr.Elaine1 EXACTLY 💯
Yes she jumped into this mess.
I had a friend she has sex with a white guy that just wanted to experience sex with a black women .. he was telling her stories about wanting to be together when it was pure crap .. I told her something was off about him but she didn’t listen he’s now married to a white women… lots of men will date every race to experiment but to settle down and marry it’s only his race he see as marriage material.. dating outside your race or in your race no sex should be involved most men you can’t hold their attention if you don’t have sex after the 1st date so that lets them fall of on their own… when dating no sex… that is reserved for marriage.
@@helena3631 Fetish
Twenty-five minutes in and Tony is still reading. I gotta take a break and come back. OH LORT😳!!!!
I stopped at 16 minutes, once I saw your comment up top. 25 minutes! Chile, I'm going on break now, I will be back to the schedule program later tonight!😩
Now susta I saw your comment and thought you were playing, then I experienced it. 😭😭😭😣
Omg! I'm glad she was still detailed so the response from Tony is better.
It was the Netflix sharing that had me about to wreck my car! 😭😭😭 is that the new tell-tale sign if it’s a relationship 🥴🤔
I was shocked at what she put up with even before sleeping with him. So I knew it was downhill once she did. First time he talked out the side of his neck she should have got her purse strap, threw it over her shoulder and said "got to go".
NO woman, lost or not deserves this level of behavior from this alien of a man. So sad....
I love the time that Tony took to read her letter. Such a kind thoughtful man. 🙏🏼
I agreed!🙏🏿😇
When she said that the boy had a small "WeeWee" 😂I automatically knew what the problem was.
Ha ha ha 😆
Microweenie Syndrome?
to the 21 year old that sent this in, I honestly pray you watch this video and take the lessons, at this early age you are in the perfect space to grow, raise your self esteem and meet the best version of yourself ❤️ I can only hope you really do that, you wont go wrong REALLY listening to Tony Gaskins x
I have never been through this level of abuse but I can relate to this girl, having had low self esteem. People through out my life have walked on me. What you think about yourself really does come back to you in this way. But the last year I have been pouring into myself as much as possible, and actively standing up for myself when people try me. And the disrespect still happens, but I see it as training ground, and a sign that work still needs to be done internally. At some point you realize you can't live a happy life as a human punching bag. It is a lot of work to reverse but absolutely necessary.
Keep healing Jennifer, great job. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
This man is still alive!!!! I could see why people are on the show Snapped
😩😂 “ Walk yo butt outside, Go outside, you’re going to meet people”. TG
The pinky finger took me out. 🤣🤣
How many transgressions can 1 person do before you Go About Your Business
This 👆🏾🙌🏾
questions that need answers
My thoughts exactly!!!!!!!😡
Charger + Candle + Purse =........"GTG!"
CLASSIC!!!
😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
Yesss🤣😭
That’s right meeting ppl when your out and about. Stay off tinder. And Keep your 20s to yourself.
I needed this. I have hated myself most of my life. That is why I've had such lousy relationships with men who did not deserve me.
Thank you, Tony.
You are doing God's work!
Misst72 Gods love for you is forever and he thought of you before the world began.
You know we’re in for it when Tony says, “C’mon sista” 😂
I dated a white man in my 20s. During dinner he kept staring at my mouth saying "you got some big lips." "Hey big lips." He blamed it on the red wine but it ended soon after that. My mother told me he was uncomfortable with my features. I just know I felt like I was back in school being teased.
His mind was in the gutter. Are you familiar with the acronym, DSL? Those lips we were teased about as children are now the same lips men fantasize about. Women spend $$$$ on cosmetic procedures and lip plumping products for the desired pout.💋👄 When a guy compliments my smile, it hits different than when he compliments my lips.
Most white men fetishize black women and their features. Simple.
This is the thing with men, they just want to experiment with different races, but he knew full well that he felt u had big lips before he went on the date with you, so he shouldn't have dated you and definitely should not have said something like that even if that's what he was thinking. I have looked at white women and men and said ....dang, this person got zero lips, but out of respect for the human being I would never say it, I just wouldn't date that person. There is nothing wrong with your lips, he was just used to women with little to no lips and that is where he should stay.
@@curiositykillsthe2597 so do bm as well esp our behinds
@@loveyb3347 correct. It ain't just WM, BM fetishize us too. Smh.
It breaks my heart that this bubbly educated articulate girl with beautiful soul, believing in love and nice things, had to fell into the hands of a no-character joker and be treated like this. I wish all girls and women knew their worth and had self-love so that such behaviours would never be accepted, let alone rewarded, even if it would be from the last man on Earth ! Ladies whenever you see such red flags, distance yourselves, don't ever allow someone to have the audacity to think it's their place to measure your beauty, criticize your body or bring you down, to make you feel lucky that they're offering you some breadcrumbs of attention and affection, to emotionally abu*e you by playing with words, your heart and self-esteem. Dear lady if you see this, i will coach you a couple of sessions for free, just let me know.
Mr. Tony is inter-natio-NAL! I love how his message is breaking through cultures.
OMG Tony this was the reason why I was led to your page.. My last relationship was from tinder and I would never ever get on there again.. I thought this man was my husband but he was a decoy He checked off everything that I wanted in a man and then he just flipped on me He made it seem like I was the problem I was the issue and he told me that he needed a break I gave him a break because he constantly used to tell me I need a break every time we have a disagreement so I got tired of it and I allow him to have a break and I came back a week later and he said it was my fault and it hurted because I wanted to really be with this man but looking back I thank God that I'm not with him because I wouldn't have healed I wouldn't have learned the things that I have learned today I wouldn't have been led to your page by God and I just thank God for you I have grown in so many ways Yes I'm still single but I'm happy because I'm working on myself I'm working on my career I'm focusing on my child and I'm okay with that because God said when the time is right I the Lord will make it happen so thank you again Tony you are such a blessing!!!
“He did a back flip” ???? *stares in Tony gaskins* 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Long letter of disrespect smh He sound like one of those ugly insecure dudes that try and take his issues out on women. I can’t stand men like that and she need to continue listening to his videos because she need to WAKE UP
Textbook gaslighting and all the other narcissist traits. There must be a class they all take.
29 minutes of listening whilst driving and I'm still hooked to her analytics of his total nonsense, bless her! Literally now sitting in a parked car waiting for Tony's response🤣
Interracial dating can be beautiful but is tough. I'm white and found when I dated black men they already had these stereotypes about white women in their heads. When they found I didn't fit the narrative, I was disrespected and dismissed. I'm weary of men who date different races to fulfill some weird fetish. If they start out with I love a specific race of women, I cringe and back off. Many black, white, latino men do it. Women are objectified one way or the other in general. I don't mean to sound bitter but that's just my experience.
Use the pureness of your soul to feel if there is love there. He will tell on himself if it is not really about enjoying you, as you express you have your filter of intent trained well as to what a man wants. Tony gave great notes on this, I listened 2 and a 1/2 times to capture some show notes for my own soul and posted that on my Facebook wall and here in the comments.
Smart girl
Let's be honest. There are also many women who do this to men of other races , colors and ethnicities. A co-worker of mine, a BM, stayed for 5 years with a WW. He really loved her, he did everything and beyond for her. He was making plans about marrying and having a future with her. But suddenly it comes out that she was already engaged with another man (since they were kids!) and she told him about it suddenly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He was shocked, heartbroken and when he asked her "so why did you stay with me for so long?" she answered "You were just a side guy to have fun with. But did you really believe that I could love and get married to someone who looks like you?" (y'all know what she meant). And she broke up with him just when he was about to propose to her. She ended up to marry the guy who always was her official fiance. And yes, she clearly admitted that she used him "to try his lower parts" but at the same time, she had never thought about something serious with him. And the consequences were that he was so emotionally devastated that he had to quit the work for a long period of time and go to a therapist because he was about to have a mental breakdown.
Her dream was GOD trying to warn her: the enemy was going to send a demonic agent to her life. I pray she finds Jesus and gets healing and deliverance. The man himself has a lot of demons. He needs genuine salvation and extensive deliverance
It all started making sense when she admitted that she made fun of his manhood. He was often disrespectful and she only said one thing. However, grown boys cannot take what they dish out.
I remember Tony telling us about men harboring feelings and getting revenge. That was his revenge.
When we touch sensitive subjects, even in a joking matter, there is no turning back! The relationship will go downhill. It is difficult to get trust back. Men don’t easily forgive like women.
She really has a very very low self esteem. Yet she sounds so smart and has a bright future ahead.
Why Tony kept putting that pinky figure up like that...I can’t breeve 😩😂
to represent the peewee weeny-holderz 😂😂😂😂 btw...it requires a lot of faith in God to not sleep with a man till the wedding night and trust that he is decently to well endowed...so if i get a marriage proposal I may just put my answer on hold until I subtly do me a d--k check 😂😂🙌👑
@@durbansaladyinaccra2173 😂😂😂
When Tony wipe that eye????!!! You know it's about to be a good response 😂
That pinky finger demonstration took me all the way out! This was a whole lot!
This question longer than the Bible. Bless you Tony. I need a good nap.
He is the pits! Awful guy. She has to dump him! I laughed at Tony’s little finger gesture 🤣😂🤣😂
If he is a grown man, he either already knows your culture (not in a superficial way) and loves it already, or is willing to learn and asks GOOD and RESPECTABLE questions.
"When you put somebody on a pedestal, they gonna look down on you." What is just as sad as guys who try to put their women down in order to build themselves up, is women giving their men this God-like adoration at the expense of their own self worth. A former friend of mine would gush about how amazingly attractive her husband was, how he could have any woman he wanted, yet he married her... I didn't see it that way, they were both equally attractive and I for one was NOT absolutely gagging to sleep with this guy! She was lucky he didn't seem to take advantage of her fawning attitude but too many women are not so lucky. Is great (and important) to have a partner you find attractive but this does not mean you got to be ugly or constantly made to feel ugly.
I’ve been listening to Tony for years, this is the longest letter I have ever heard 😳
Ohhh when Tony pulled up the pinky finger 🤏🏼 I started hollering so hard! 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣
Out of all the Talks with Tony letters this one made me cry. We gotta love ourselves more! 😢
I gotta give it to you for the amount of patience you have!!! I'm 18 minutes into the video and I feel like I need a break. Goodness!
The way Tony held that laugh in when he read that her lady parts was like a cave💀💀💀💀
Wow, 31 minute letter?
I ... am speechless lol
SISSSSTAAAAA!!!
*in my TG voice*
Praying she got away from that MESS!! 🙏🏼
I am also Indian, and I have made a lot of horrible dating mistakes, also due to my culture and my father being emotionally unavailable and invalidating. Basically we are taught to sacrifice (in the disguise of uncondtional love for others except ourself) ourselves as mothers, wives , caregivers and also at school and at work we are expected to ignore our boundaries and feelings and just work and study like robots. It is also considered selfish to complain. I dont know if this is culture or also a mix of poverty/postcolonial mindset but this causes for us to excel in many fields and is also the cause of our succes in our own and other countries. However people, and especially men, see this unconditonal love as a sign of weakness and therefore we are prone to mis use and abuse. Uncle Tony mentioned his wife being half Indian, I recognize her work ethics as typically Indian. We as Indian women should use that unconditonal love and learn to be selfish and apply it on ourselves first to say the least.
To be clear I ADORE my culture and religion and wouldnt want to trade it for ANYTHING. Even when I had extreme low esteem issues I never wanted to be another race.
I think it’s called model minority complex or something like that. Have to be the model minority that is drilled in as being the route to success.
@@curiositykillsthe2597 Ah thanks so much. Ive never heard of that term. However the sacrificial part and the unconditonal love part is very Indian. The sacrificial part has to do with our mythological stories about Sita putting herself on the burning stake to prove her "purity" 😒🙄 to god Ram. And the unconditional love part is something I am really proud of but it is not suitable in this day and age, where everybody has become so damn selfish.
Even though the letter was long, Tony made some very good points of advice.
Oh my this was terrible. I was home holding on to my invisible pearls. I pray she gets the healing she needs
Almost fell at work listening to this Tyler perry play. Wow. Honey, child, boo! Track 👟
Poor thing... At least she has started young to learn about relationships.
She has a bright future ahead of her and will meet someone amazing.
“Stay off that Online Dating, PLEASE…”-TG. I’ve been clean (from online dating🤦♀️), for one year. Happy, Healthy, and wHole - to God be the Glory🙏.
I almost choked when Tony put out that pinky finger🤣 Woowee lol
That grown boy is broke busted and disgusted (Tony voice) and I mean mentally, he needs to heal , he tried to break you sis, but he didn't, work on loving you more and learning new ways to spot these kind of demons. God bless you sis and Tony . You're so patient 💚
Not sure this is a human species she dealt with
He definitely is not!
I'm not gonna lie; cared way too much about the guy than should've gone about my biz a long time ago! Sister, you will find someone who will appreciate the person that you are!
Sisssss, I started listening to this Talks at 6:35am on the way to work. It's now 3:17pm and Tony is STILL reading this question. Nahhhh Sis....just gone bout yo business. 😩😩😩
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The man in the first story that the Indian woman was dating is clearly a Narcissist. He shows all signs.
1. He is gaslighting her
2. He is talking down on her
3. He is love bombing her in the beginning, wanting to meet all the time
4. He can't deal with criticism
5. Says and does things that he knows, will hurt her
6. He gives her some love one second, the next second he puts her down
7. He says he will change, but doing the opposite (by intention)
8. His jokes are mean, because they aren't actually jokes
9. He needs alot of attention, which he is not willing to give back to other people
10. He is lying about important points of his live
11. He is bragging about how much he earns and how successful he is
The strongest word for us to hold on to these days is “Get gone. Gon’ bout your business.” 🙏🏾
I’m so proud she’s 11 months past him and doesn’t plan on going back! No matter what she went through with him, she’s still strong to keep it moving because A LOT of women wouldn’t have. I can’t wait till I get to that 11 month mark. I’m 2 months in.
She’s getting out of hand with all of these numbers 🤦🏽♀️
GURL😳
Right ! Lol
Sis done numbered all the man's wrongs
😭😭😭
This makes me so sad. Not having a Father in my household growing up I had no example of what to look for or what was acceptable. My first boyfriend in high school drug me through the mud and I was so sweet to him no matter how awful he was. My first boyfriend in college was also horrible. It wasn’t until my last fling 10 years ago that I finally woke up to it all. I have now spent the last 10 years healing, focusing on myself, developing relationship standards. I am almost 50 years old and finally ready for a healthy relationship. In my 20s, 30s, early 40s there weren’t any videos like this to teach me what I needed to know. I just wish I could rewind the clock and do things differently.
I agree with Tony when he says we as women use the word lose and without true understanding, but please Tony can u call this spade a spade , this is where u are allowed to call this dude a Narcissist!! Omg I could hardly stand to hear this! But u said we are here together but this is ughhh . I was done around #5 or #6
Tony said “We in this thang tuhgether naw” 🤣🤣🤣
This poor woman. This is a classic case of teddy bear syndrome that Tony has spoken of before.
Tony you need water and a commercial break 😂😂
Small Dong Disorder (SDD) or Small Dong Syndrome (SDS) is very real & millions of “men” all over the world are suffering from this condition. If you ever come across one...run & run very fast & never look back!!!
I came across one and he was very very RUDE😩
I did meet one of this creatures once,,and he was stupid rudeee for that little pipi,,nevaaa again
@@TheSpiritRoom23 No bueno! 🥺
@@snezanavasilevska3586 Those types need to humble themselves & get them some Jesus!
The email alone took up half of my lunch break
Tony!! God bless ya and thank you for all you do
Man🤣😂 when he threw up that pinky finger I was PRAYING that he wouldn’t grab that candle lighter and start waving in in the camera like the last video🤣 I bout threw my phone and was in tears when he did that🤣😂😂
He’s been mad since she joked about his man parts.... that’s the problem 😂
Man. Let me buy you a drink Tony. That might be the worlds longest letter ever!
*THRICE* . Tony says he hasn't heard that since the bible. 🤣🤣🤣
We will find that unAmericanized people from the regions of India & Pakistan speak this way.
I had a friend from and still living in Pakistan and she would talk like this. Half the time she would email me (it was mainly an email exchange of me mentoring her for 11 years) and I could barely understand what she was saying. She taught me a lot about their culture and religion while she was trying hard to learn spirituality from me.
What is this foolishness??? This email had my face so scrunched up with frustration! I can't help but feel that the young lady has plenty of book smarts, but no street smarts. I'll venture to say that the later is need more than the former. His small TOOL is the reason behind all his crazy behavior.
Another thing I've come to understand as is that it's not so important that why the other person does what they do...as it is important why you stay and choose to be a willing participant in your own pain. It seems like we seek to figure out why would a person behave that way, while missing the greater revelation about ourselves and the lesson to be learned so we can grow.
I have never laughed this hard. 😂😂😂😂.. everyone at work staring at me 😂😂😂😂😂😂
He sounds NARCISSISTIC!
Yessssssss
Yes, erasmus is a European university exchange program
Loved the wisdom in the culminating advice :)
Valuable. It's confirmation. Most of us know these things, but it sets a foundation of what is healthy and the unhealthy (potential feedback, and potential red flags that may arise).
Yeah it is Erasmus for uni students, it's very popular here in Europe
Wow your 1st love/ thing.
We were all crazy during our 1st love relationship and extremely young. I hate this dude bashed you repeatedly (because words can stick like glue) and you allowed it. Lesson learned.
Now you must and have to rebuild yourself back up before seeking another relationship🙏🏽
Got to hold on!!!! If he can do it for us- we got to hold on for him!!! Bless y’all
When TG burst 💥 out laughing and said forgive me I laughed out loud at my desk..oh my goodness
I was today old when I learned about Cracker Barrel. Lol
Sis you dodged a bullet! Keep ya track shoes on!
He is insecure and it shows point blank... Gone bout yo buisness because he’s definitely not a loss but a lesson❗️
Devaluing stage....definitely sounds narcissistic. Run....no contact ever again.
Whoo this one almost had me in tear's...🤧😭
“Dis’ll get you to work and back” 🤣🤣🤣
This poor girl MUST have gotten a HUGE release from writing this long about that loser of a boyfriend. I get it. Some people can do that to us because they are so *confounding* (I'm not sure that's the proper use of that word but as Tony can say - "We gon' use it today").
There is something to the 🐍dreams. I have dreams of being killed by a python. Now that I know why the dreams are starting to lessen.
I’m only 15 minutes in...Not only does he not love you but he doesn’t like you. It’s a good chance he’s racist too.
OMFG,. But like Tony said we in this together sis
Wow I'm glad she got free. It's crazy that I also had a dream similar before I entered a toxic relationship too... airplanes falling out the sky and bombs everywhere...I understood the war I survived AFTER the fact