Please don’t give up . Keep at it. Try a drivers training school to help build your confidence . Driving is a piece of freedom you should fight to keep.
Thank you Lily, I thought about trying a session with a driving instructor and seeing how I do. I did go through a driving school way back when I was in high school.
Why u going to quit thats just showing your kids when things get tough u just quit when as parents we have to show our kids that no matter how tough things get u never just should quit or give up ..Its not your older children job to drive everyone around what abt there lives like moving away getting married one day...u don't want them to feel they can never leave or have there own lives....
@@Momof8kids I don’t think they were telling you to be tough as being mean. How ever in my words “they meant when times and jobs or life get hard or tough” Rosalie you have a lot of support on youtube. We can talk you through rough times. Please don’t give up and quit.be that mom you need to be.go to parking lots such as school when they are closed and have your older boys set up a drive area for you to practice in. Honey I know it’s hard having everything dumped on you but if you delegate responsibilities for the older children, it will help take the load off of you plus it teaches them life skills. Something everyone needs before they move out on their own. Just remember one day at a time. I have always told my children and my grandson when they or he is feeling overwhelmed I remind them how do you eat an elephant… one bite at a time. God will not put more on us than we can handle….I will say it’s gonna be tough some days but you’re a strong woman and a good mom. Will be watching for updates make us proud Rosalie!!
No it isn’t. It’s teaching the kids that you always err on the side of caution when it comes to safety. It’s teaching them to be honest with themselves about things we don’t want to admit to ourselves. It’s teaching them to accept their limits and realize we can’t be good at everything. If she’s feeling unsafe as a driver and telling you that she thinks her kids are in danger with her driving, why on earth would you presume to know better than her? If a new mom came to you and said “I think I have postpartum depression and it’s starting to scare me. I’m overwhelmed and I have moments where I resent the baby. I’m scared that I’m not safe around the baby”, I would hope your advice would be “Call your doctor right now. You need to address this problem now while it’s still in your control. Don’t risk allowing it to escalate to the point you could actually hurt the baby.” I hope you would not be saying “Girl, you’re fine! It’s totally normal for the hormones to affect you after delivery. You just have the baby blues. It happens to everyone!” She’s past the point of practicing in a parking lot. She has her license already. She knows how to drive in parking lot conditions. She’s struggling with adapting that to real life traffic situations where your response time needs to be immediate to constantly evolving conditions. This isn’t like her saying she’s struggling with her new hobby of cooking and she’s thinking about bailing on it. She’s saying she doesn’t feel her kids are safe with her in control of a weapon of mass destruction. Don’t minimize what she’s saying. Don’t presume that you know better than her what she’s talking about. When unsafe drivers are on the road, people die. If you’d seen some of the horrific things I’ve seen because of car accidents, you wouldn’t be saying what you’re saying. And I’m also a mom whose child died because the doctor, my husband and I all failed to see that there was something going drastically wrong with the baby’s health. I know the absolute torment of being destroyed by regret and wishing you could go back in time and make a different choice. Some people are bad at math. Some people are bad at drawing (raising my hand). Some people are bad at driving. Rosalie should be commended for being brave enough to admit that she isn’t a safe driver and being wise enough to foresee how dire the potential consequences could be if she ignores that.
Please keep practicing. It isn’t fair to your older kids to have all that responsibility on their shoulders. You are the parent and we as parents do the hard things for our children. Don’t give up! You can do this!
Just pace yourself, you can do this. Drive very short distances for awhile, then do alittle at a time. Know one is perfect..You can make up a plan because your a very smart woman and your doing a great job with the kids.
Rosalie, don’t give up! It took me a very long time to get comfortable driving again after my husband passed. Either take a drivers course, or drive around your town as often as you can. I drove only a certain area for 6 months and am only now getting confidence. I’m not the best driver, it I’m so much better now. I’m still terrible at parallel parking and parking in general, but I do it. You don’t want to just give it up and have to rely on someone all the time. I think you’ll regret it. Just Think of ways to improve your driving. I really believe you can do it.
Rosie Rosie. Honey. You can’t quit. Driving is one of the hardest things we have to learn but also necessary & practise & experience gets us all there . We all come across near misses even after years of driving. My hubby drives every single day in the work he does. He comes home cussing someone out who did the wrong thing or saw a close call as he says. But we also come across that just crossing the street or getting Rammed with a trolly just simply shopping. Accidents happen if we’re in a car or walking out our front door. Also remember you are driving a very large van so that has got to be a challenge. A smaller car would be much easier for a new driver. We just purchased a smaller 2 door car for Reece to learn in & he finds it easier than the 4 door Ford falcon. Is it possible for you to purchase a second hand little car just until your confidence is on point. I believe in my very soul that you can do this. Don’t let the fright deter you. ❤
You are so beautiful Marg. I love what you did for your son! I do find driving the van challenging (when I was in high school I was learning in a car.) So you are absolutely right when it comes to size of vehicle! It would be a considerable expense for our family though, getting a second vehicle plus car insurance (manditory in Canada). That would cost several thousand dollars. If you haven't received the card with the letter in it yet, then you could send me an email if you are comfortable doing so then I can email you what I wrote. Sending you love always Marg, and to your family also!
Do not quit driving. The more experience you have the more confidence you will have. It’s called defensive driving for a reason. Always watch out for what other drivers are doing. They’re the ones to watch out for.
That is exactly what I do!! I don't trust other drivers, but I was told that I should be going (turning or whatever) instead of hesitating because I don't trust the traffic.
@ I always hesitate at a green light. You never know when some idiot is running a red light. I only hesitate long enough to look both ways for red light runners or emergency vehicles.
Don’t put all this on ur kid, it was not his decision to have all these kids. Finish what you started and let the kids and teens be teens. Let the older ones have a life of a teen. Take a drivers course and take that burden off ur son. It’s ur responsibility!
@ probably not bc of how they were raised sadly. She was dependent on her husband bc he married her when she was just a so young young . so now she is dependent on her older kids. It’s sad them kids don’t have a life of their own. I’m sorry before anyone comes and makes a comment saying this is bullying, it is not! You are suppose to raise ur kids to be strong independent adults so they can leave home and have a life of their own and be a productive member of society, Not keep them home so they can drive you everywhere bc you want to not drive anymore. They are young adults I’m sure they are feeling guilty, bc yes her husband passed, their father but they need to have a life of their own and not be held back bc of her inability to do something that a capable adult should do! I’ve watched her videos from the beginning before her husband passed and I’m sorry but it was all strange. I was hoping after he passed she would get it together and become a strong independent woman, but sadly now she just uses her older kids to do things for her. I hope her kids are able to have a great life as an adult and for her to become a strong individual woman.
@@ImAmericanMade01 I agree. She needs to let her kids rise and shine and be a wonderful addition to society. They actually always look so unhappy to me. I know this is all that Rosalie knows but there’s got to be change. Let it begin with her.
Don't listen to these negative comments. Not everyone is meant to drive. Your family's safety is the most important thing. I've been driving 43 years and if I had to start driving now, I would never want to, the traffic is absolutely horrible in Niagara. Don't believe that you're a burden to your children who drive. If they didn't want to participate, they wouldn't live with you still. I believe all of your children are devoted to you and want to help you do what you need to, to continue on for your husband's sake. People can be so heartless! Do what's best for yr family. ❤
You’re a mom … a single mom at that! Sorry Rosalie but you have no choice. You’re going to have many many scary experiences driving. You’re going to learn that a lot of people have road rage and a lot of people done care about your well being. You can’t control or change others you can just do your best as yourself. If your son who is much younger than you can do it so can you. He’s going to start resenting you and the kids and that’s the last thing you want just promise. You have to drive because your kids and yourself have needs. You can’t just give up so easily. Driving is a necessity!!!
Hi Rosalie, please don’t give up. Keep practicing. Practice practice practice. Your boys can’t stay with you forever. They need to be able to go live their best lives on their own at some point. Trust me. They will become resentful and angry. And I’m sure you don’t want that. You are a very wise woman and deep inside I know you are aware of these facts. Please reconsider.
I don't think you should quit Rosalie. I can see this is weighing heavy on you. But as a head of household, it would truly benefit you with so many young kids. Take your time with it. I practiced in parking lots. It's a lot of pressure to put on your eldest son. I have so much confidence in your abilities. I know you can do it Mama!! Much love ❤
You Got This Rosalie. I didn't drive till later in life, and I felt the same way. Drive in empty parking lots to build confidence, next drive in town, and once you feel comfortable enough then drive on highways. It just takes practice. Love and Hugs from Florida 💜🤗🙏
You can’t quit, it gets better & it’s too much responsibility for your older children who are going to feel compelled to drive when it should be you. Your little ones need you to be there for them and that means being able to drive. Your eldest are adult age, they will move out one day. What’s noticeable as a single mother of a big family myself, is perhaps your older children are not working towards independence. Do the eldest have jobs? Even part time jobs if they are at college. It teaches them so much and enables them to feel a sense of achievement in earning some money and learning how to manage it. It also shows them they can be helping towards expenses. That’s adulting. Don’t give up your licence, you earned it. 😊
Thank you Sharon for your input. My oldest do all go to school, I want them to focus on their grades. However, my oldest does volunteer at a church he found every week and my second oldest is now starting to join him.
It’s not fair, you’re being selfish if you quit.You had 8 children. It’s not fair for your older children to take over your responsibilities to raise your younger children. Go to a driving school and or hire someone to help you get your confidence back. Rosalie don’t give up!!!
Please don’t quit driving. We all make mistakes, especially when we’re learning. I also feel like it isn’t fair to your older kids to have to take on all the driving, you can do it, practice more and maybe schedule lessons if they have them around there.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I don't drive either for the safety of everyone. Don't feel bad about it. I also got my G1 in Welland and was a nervous driver learning on the roads. You are making the right decision for you.
Rosalie, honey I understand. I am 61 years old. I have never driven or had a license. I am just too scared, and it is dangerous for me. Having said that, I would not totally give up yet. Just please be safe. If nothing else, you can just drive to do little errands like grocery shopping, etc. Much love and good luck.
You’re a new driver and it’s quite daunting out there and I totally understand what you’re feeling. Even as an experienced driver with many years behind the wheel I too sometimes feel intimidated these days with so many people not paying attention on the road but as frustrated as I get at times I can’t imagine not having my license. Confidence comes with experience but you’ll still feel frustrated at times. There’s just no getting around that. With you being so important to the family as head of household I feel it would be unwise to let your license lapse for a couple reasons. Yes, you could have your other son step in and learn how to drive and get his own license and he should do that whether you keep yours or not. It’ll take the burden off both you and Julius and as a family of nine I feel three drivers would be extremely beneficial in the event one of you becomes incapacitated for one reason or another. At least there’d still be two available drivers. You never know when one of you will become ill or just too busy to accommodate such a large family so yes! Have him get a license anyway. You are just as likely to get hurt as a passenger as you are the driver so your reasoning on that is only slightly flawed (I mean that in a nice way) and as a driver who may get into an accident, it’s also true that it may not be your fault and you’re still going to feel guilt either way when someone you love is hurt even by someone else’s actions. If there is too much going on in the vehicle while you’re driving you could always have a talk with the kids, especially the younger ones that while you’re driving you need to be paying attention to keep them safe. I know they always want your attention but are old enough (except the lil guy) to understand that while driving you need to focus more on the road. Have the older children help occupy them or give them coloring books or use one of your phones to play cartoons or movies to help them focus on something other than you. If it’s just inexperience you can find a professional to give you lessons and if you look around I’m sure you might be able to find someone who’d be willing to go with you maybe a couple days a week for an hour or two for a fairly reasonable price until you feel more confident and gain some valuable experience while it’s just you and the professional and you can totally focus on the road rather than a busy van full of loving but noisy children.Your older children may end up leaving for their own endeavors one day and you’ll be without any drivers so keep your license but utilize them now while they are still at home to help you. At the end of the day Rosalie you have to do what you feel is right but I’d advise giving these suggestions a good try and seeing how you feel then before making such a huge decision. Whatever your decision I’ll still be here supporting you and your family. Just don’t let fear be the deciding factor. Take care my friend! And I’ll get a package with my email out to ya soon! Just been busy and not feeling well! See ya!!
I am grateful for your advice Luisa and you brought up some good points. The kids are fine in the van it is just me. I was thinking about doing a session with a driving instructor to see if it makes a difference in my driving. You definitely have a good point about three driver's in the family and keeping my license. I think that is the way to go. Don't feel you have to rush about mailing me, I understand. (I've been very busy myself recently.). Always love hearing from you Luisa, take care as always and sending hugs!
I’m not sure if your son is teaching you to drive, or if you’re learning to drive through a driving school with a trained instructor, but if you’re not actually taking driving lessons through an instructor, that’s something you definitely want to do. Having your son teach you, especially if you have your other children in the vehicle with you, is not the best way to learn. A trained instructor will be able to gauge your driving ability, and tailor the lessons to that. And they’ll have you drive in a vehicle without distractions. Learning this way will build your confidence, as you will have success with small things, and will be able to build on that. These lessons are cheap, but it’s definitely worth it to save a little bit up each month to invest in your future.
Rosalie, hang in there. You can do this. Maybe taking a course would help you out. Im on your side. All said, youve got to do what is best for you and the kiddos. Youve had a rough road but I've watched you overcome so many things and i think you can do this too!! Sending love and hugs to you and your family.
Rosalie, you've come so far and been so strong, please don't give up. Just give yourself more time, practise and show your kids that sometimes things can be achieved, even if it's hard in the beginning. You can also take a break first, this might help to relieve some of the stress. I know you can do it! It's only fair to your kids and you might one day need to be able to drive in case there is an emergency or when you're older and depend more on the car to get around. Sending you strength, saying a prayer, I believe in you! 💌
Hi Rosalie, It looks like almost everyone believes you should continue to drive. I agree. My Mom didn’t get her license until after my Dad passed away. She was afraid for quite awhile, but there was no public transportation where we lived. She did okay. The only problem was driving over bridges. She eventually conquered that fear. I hope your oldest son gets his license for the freedom it will give him. I was driving home from my son’s house yesterday and someone beeped their horn at me. I was not paying attention and drifted into the other lane. I quickly realized my error and focused on driving. I don’t like driving when it’s dark outside. Keep doing the next right thing. You are doing great. Be proud of yourself! Love to you and your family. Lynne
Don't give up your right to drive. I was 30 yrs. old with 3 boys before I finally got my license and had build up quite a fear of driving. But with practice I've gotten to be a a much more confident driver. ❤Please don't give up.❤
I say this with absolute peace and love: I hope they will move out, get jobs, get married, etc. BUT. It seems like there is a bit of Stockholm syndrome in that house. Glad to see Rosie breaking out a little, but it seems they’ve been so isolated and conditioned to not leave.
@@Momof8kids I don’t think it’s conclusions that people are jumping to Rosalie. You put content out where people can clearly see what is happening. It’s out in the open. I’m sorry you get offended by that but you are the one that shares what’s happening in your home. Your story is very unusual. Your life style is very unusual. I don’t think anyone questions that. And we aren’t trying to be mean. We care otherwise we wouldn’t be here for you. I am sad that you can’t see that. I come from a cycle of abuse. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. It was whack honestly. I vowed to change that cycle. Out of seven kids, I was the one who walked away and made a change so my kids never had to experience that. I tell you that only to give you and your family hope.
My mom did not get her dr. Li. until she was 39, drives with one foot on gas and one on brake. Always remember you control the car not the car controls you. Go by the rules of the road and you should be ok. You walk or ride a bic you can drive. Learn to putter around town, not on major highways. Until you built your confidence. I had to learn to drive from a small country town, at age 18 and one week later we moved to Norfolk Virginia and my husband left for six months on a military cruise. My town had two streetlights wide and three longs. To a major city. With many lanes and we moved in winter so had to drive in snow, by myself. I slide all over the place God was with me and my baby. I got lost a lot and had a lot of misses from other drivers. I had no one but me. So, I had to drive if I could do it then you can. If my mom can drive, you can. Just do local trips stay off highways. You got this, you may not like it but you can do it. You have common sense, and driving is no different than riding a bike or walking. You will get used to it. Again, you control the car. Just stay focused on the road and signs and street lights, signs etc. If I could do it you can. Peace!
Sorry, but you need to get more drivers education. It is not fair to your children to make them responsible for all driving. What about when they want to move out? You need to continue driving after some classes and practice.
Who is telling you that you won't be a good driver? Have the older boys take care of the younger kids and go out driving BY YOURSELF for an hour once or twice a week for more practice without having the distraction of the kids in the car. You can do it. If the provisional license requires a licensed driver in the car with you, just go with that one passenger. Driving is an essential skill for YOU; don't put the responsibility off on your boys. You CAN master it.
It’s a shame children no longer have drivers training while in school. Starting while you’re older must seem daunting? You will overcome your fear the more you drive and get comfortable doing so. I cannot fathom being unable to drive as I have since I was 15 and am now 65. I’ve driven in many other countries even on the opposite side of the road but enjoy the freedom it brings me. Don’t give up.
I am 61 years old. I have been driving since I was 17. I am more anxious driving these days not because of myself but drivers around me. Unfortunately I live in an area where most times when I walk into a store I can smell marijuana coming from someone that walks by me. A lot of these people are behind the wheel driving which is very scary. It doesn't keep me from driving but I just stay close to home in the areas I am used to, and I don't go out unless I have to running all my errands in the same day. If you have other drivers in the house you obviously can share the driving. I wouldn't leave it all up to your sons but it is definitely something you could share. It would be a good idea for your oldest son to get his license no matter what. Wishing you all the best Rosalie you're a good Mama.💐
Hi. 1. I agree with others who have suggested you take a driving course, or 2. hire someone to teach/ride with you one-on-one (kind of like a tutor). 3. Also consider going on short driving trips without the children (utilize a babysitter?); drive to the post office, master driving that route and then try another destination. Try going to an empty parking lot to practice parking. 4. If you know certain times of day are really busy where you are, try driving at a different time when there's less traffic. 5. An alternative would be to check out the city bus, public transit. 6. As others mentioned, maybe consider if putting all the driving on your older son(s) is healthy or fair to them. Maybe make a deal that you'll drive every other time until you get more comfortable and skilled at driving.
I don’t think you should give up driving Rosalie , you learn by your mistakes. The first day I got my license I turned on a side road and went through someone’s yard lol. Goodness can’t no one drive worse than me when I first started driving. You’ll get better at it. Have a wonderful weekend. Hugs
I don't see it as a quitter if you try your best. However I don't think you should stop driving. I think you should practice more and don't cut yourself short. You can do this.❤
Your older kids should not be “co-parenting” your younger kids, their siblings. That is not fair to them. As the parent you should be capable of and responsible for the driving.
Keep at it. Learn to go to one destination at a time. Get your older kids to watch the younger one and go practise with the driver. Gain your confidence. You will get there.
My family always started driving practice in cemeteries and then after hours at store parking lots (well lit). Cemeteries because obviously no traffic, and the little roads don’t have traffic lights or other distractions. Then we used empty parking lots to learn being comfortable to pull in and out of designated spots. My daughter referred to it as “learning to color inside the lines”. As well behaved and responsible as your boys seem to be, I’m sure they will always be a huge help to you, but you should consider that one day they will be the man of their own family. Hopefully they will continue to live in the same general area as you. But there’s always a chance that they live a distance away, be it for their partner, for a career, etc and you will need to learn independence again. We all got introduced to you by a sudden, devastating tragedy in your life. We saw you lost. We saw you timid. Now we get to watch you carefully find your confidence. You are a PHENOM. 💪. I am rooting for you, Mama. ✌️🫶. Peace and love from Virginia, USA
Rosalie… practice makes perfect. Practice, practice, practice! I suggest going out EARLY in the morning, by yourself, and just drive. I don’t think you should be a nervous, inexperienced driver with a carload of children. Practice driving in neighborhoods and in parking lots. Stay away from heavy traffic areas during busy hours. Perhaps you can go speak with the owner or manager of a driving academy and explain to them your situation. Maybe they’ll be willing to give you a discount or free classes. Have one of the boys stay with the younger children and take the one that can drive with you. Also, please have full coverage insurance on your van, with enough coverage for a possible replacement. I don’t think that giving up is a responsible option for you as the only parent. You can’t depend on them to be your chauffeur for the rest of your life. I know that right now they’re willing to help you whenever needed, but there will come a time when they’re ready to move on with their lives and this could hold them back. You wouldn’t want to hold your children back from their dreams just to shuffle you around, right? Right. YOU CAN DO IT. Mom’s all over the world do it everyday, not necessarily because they want to, but because they have to. You’re not a quitter. You’re just lacking confidence. So, put on your boss shirt and lace up your boss babe boots and go! I have faith in you! ❤
Please don't give up and quit learning to drive. Honestly, you should have had your license and been way more self-sufficient before now. But, you're doing it. You won't always be able to rely on a child. With that many kids at home, you should be able to drive if an emergency arises. You are doing fine. You just got spooked. Once your emotions calm down, just try again. Every single driver has close calls and scary moments, but you learn from them and do better the next time. I'm rooting for you!
Rosalie. You need to drive. It is your responsibility Keep on trying. It’s not easy or fun but you can do it. How would your sons feel if they had the accident? Woman up girl. It’s selfish if you don’t keep trying. Take lessons hun.
It sounds like you had a bit of a scare but it’s not the end of the world. Just keep going. Practice, practice, practice and you will get the mastery. Try to pick quieter times to go out. Your confidence has been shaken but you will get better.just stick to shorter trips and close to home and as your confidence builds you can go a bit further. Don’t quit altogether because your children will move on to their own independence eventually and you will still need to drive. I have been driving over 50 years now and I have just started to cut back on driving because I have neck problems and can’t turn my head so good now. I won’t risk making a mistake and sometimes I am slow turning corners because I can’t see far enough. This is why I’m slowly giving up driving. You’re still young and healthy so keep going. 😊😊
Thank you for your encouragement Cheryle, I really appreciate it. Sorry about you neck and I hope it starts to feel better. You sound like a smart lady. Take care!!
I was afraid to drive as a teenager. I used to have dreams of driving down a steep hill in my town and heading straight for a brick building and i would wake up. Once i took lessons and practiced and got my lisence in six months time, i never had that dream of crashing sgain. My fear was gone. To this day 50 years later i am a slow and careful driver. No accidents.
Hi Rosalie don't quit driving just do and go where you need to go. I understand how you feel I myself just go where I need and that's it. Lot of careless drivers out there just be careful ❤
I don’t think should quit however, there are people that never become good or safe drivers. I know you live in Canada but if you have doctor appointments with the children many insurances cover rides in the US, maybe you can look into that. As far as grocery shopping perhaps try a delivery service and order online. For all other appointments I’d call an Uber so there isn’t too much responsibility on your older children. Although, I believe to some degree it’s good for children to feel responsible and dedicated to the family. Perhaps if they drive you places you can have this as a chore instead of a different chore. I don’t agree that it takes away from their childhood if it’s done in a fair way. In fact I believe it could build self-esteem and good bonding. I’m one of 8 children and number 7. I’m 60 years old and we all had chores, my siblings drove me places if mom was making dinner and dad was at work. I believe it made us all closer. To this day my siblings are not only people I gather with for holidays but are some of my best friends. I can only pray my 4 children and grandchildren are as close with their siblings and cousins as we all are. Good job Rosalie in recognizing that driving may not be a safe choice for you and your family. There are too many unsafe drivers out there already!!!
My grandmother had my Grandfather drive her until his death at 64. She had a disability. Her left leg had surgery and could bend. But when her husband died she did not want to depend on her two daughters to drive her everywhere. She hired a driving instructrer and traded in her husbands big Buick car for a smaller boxier car easier to handle. She had been afraid to drive all her life but the thought of not being able to be independent and stuck in the house drove her beyond her fear. After 100 hours practice, she got her lisence and drove everywhere. She drove very slowly and carefully. I drove by her once her eyes never left the road in front of her. She went all over in several towns and two states. Never had an accident. Her husbamd sold insurance so she was aware of how most accidents happen. Her husband would never make a left turn because most accidents happen doing that. He would drive out of his way so he only made right hand turns.
Also as I told my daughter when she was learning to drive, slowly coast up to lights and keep three carlengths behind the car in front of you so you have room to stop.
If I can offer some supporting advice, is it takes time, practice makes perfect. I think it is very valuable to take a drivers training course. As we learn to drive most of us have had some scary moments of close calls, but that is where we learn. I am now 50 and driving is not my favourite thing in the world, but it is necessary so I don’t have to depend on others to drive me around. My youngest song got his G2 this summer and he is still nervous, but we encourage him to keep practicing.
Rosalie, nobody is a great driver right out of the gate. It took me a few years to get comfortable driving. You can’t quit!! don’t ever do that! it’s not selfish, you are the head of the family and need to show your kids resilience. everyone has to get through the learning phase. but i’m telling you a year or so from now you’ll be so sure of yourself behind the wheel you’ll wonder why you ever questioned yourself.
Rosalie dear, take a driving course. Find a big parking lot thats empty on a weekend and drive. Go to a place with very little traffic and go up and down streets. It takes time to build up that confidence. My mom learned to drive at 59. She stayed off freeways and really busy streets and took longer, less congested routes. Relax.
Close calls? There is risk for everyone with driving. You have to be aware of your surroundings and be very alert and not distracted. As a mother of that many children, you need to keep trying, as it isn't fair to your children to have to be your chauffeur for the rest of your life. You can do it!
Rosalie, please don't stop driving. All of your children need to be able to depend on you. The skills you're learning gives them hope. Your driving gives you more independence and you'll just be adding more responsibilities onto your children by requiring them to do a BIG portion of your job. Be brave for them and let them all experience your strength by doing what life requires of you. They only have you as a mentor now. You have to teach them that life isn't always easy and people have to do what makes them uncomfortable sometimes. They'll see your strength and admire you for it. Don't forget how far you've come. Please rely on yourself because it will also give you so much more confidence and they will see your confidence and know that "Hey, Mom's got this, therefore, Mom's got us!"
Hi, especially with 8 children, you should practice more driving, never quit when starting something, you don't want to be a quite, that doesn't solve anything, and you are showing your children that you can be a quite, my mom drove and she never quit doing anything, my mom had 10 of us children, please don't quit, hugsssss ❤❤❤
You need to continue driving FOR your family. Surely, someday your son will have an independent life and will no longer be the main driver for you. You CAN do this! You are still a beginner driver and you will become a better driver and also develop more confidence with time. Try to drive during “off times” when traffic is reduced and have the older kids stay at home with the younger ones while you run errands. It will be less stress and less distractions for you. Don’t give up!
Please don’t quit. Take short trips until you feel more confident. Maybe ask a neighbor or friend whom you know is a good driver ride with you a few times and give advice and share precautions of their experience. Everybody feels like you do at the beginning. Give yourself one year before you make this huge decision. It would be a detriment to your youngest kiddos as well as yourself if you give up. Keep trying girl.
I think you are experiencing anxiety because of near accidents with the car. Sometimes these are learning experiences for new drivers and actually help you realize not to do these things in the future. We all learn how to drive over time, not just when we first learn how to drive. We pick up things the more we drive. I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Maybe take short trips with the van and work up to going a little further from home over time.
Yes, I did get a big scare! It was 100% my fault and involved a parked vehicle. I don't understand why I thought my foot was on the brake when it was actually the accelerator!!
@@Momof8kids There isn't a driver out there that hasn't made a mistake. I bet you will never have that happen again! It is something that you will be super aware of now. Keep trying and don't give up.
Rosalie, have you asked for your son's opinion and whether he would mind him taking on all the responsibility of driving? Is he fine with that that you don't drive anymore? Also, say he should in some years, decide to leave home and get his own vehicle. Are you ok not having your license and having to use public transportation all the time? New beginners are going to feel somewhat nerve behind the wheel, but if you're always feeling tense and on edge when driving, perhaps take lessons and see how that goes. If you still don't feel comfortable driving, then perhaps it's just not for you. When we have accidents or near misses, it can cause us a lot of anxiety while driving for some time afterward. You have to do what you feel is right. Just because so many people are telling you not the give up, YOU DO YOU Rosalie. Best wishes in whatever you chose to do about this issue
You scared yourself, don’t give up every time you get behind the wheel as a new driver you will learn . It doesn’t always matter who’s the driver is accidents do happen, regardless of experience.
My Mom never was able to drive. She tried a few times to pass the test, but never was able to do. She was intellectually disabled so some things were difficult for her. I remember as a child we always had to take the bus. When I grew up and left home she would walk, take the bus or go across to Seattle on the ferry. It never stopped her from getting anywhere.
I remember having friends moms who didn't drive and they hated it because they always had to find their own ways around. These people need to think about how scary they're portraying the world to be. Grow up, people and do what life expects of you or don't have children that will need you.
@ true, but there is no need to be rude by saying to her not to have children or taking advantage of her teenage sons. Other people are giving her great advice on a kind way. Try a little kindness.
Dont give up! Take a drivers course or go out one on one with your son even on back roads and less busier streets for more experience! I hear you tho, with all of the accidents daily - it is a fear of mine to get my license.
Thank you Lorilynn, for sharing. I did have a driving instructor years ago when I was in high school and it does help a lot with fear. I should probably do it again. Take care!
You need to keep trying to drive. It's scary at first, but it gets easier with practice. It would be more selfish to quit than to keep working at driving. Everyone is nervous at first. You'll soon gain your confidence.
Don't give up. It happens to everyone. And most of the scary close calls are because of the other drivers on the road. Never give up. Your children need you to take them places as a part of being a parent.
Don't give up don't quit you have scared right now but get over it go to school driver's course you always have to watch out for the other person your son is going to have to watch out for the other person so what happens if he hurts all of you just be careful and drive only when you have you can do it I did it on my kids were small and we didn't even have them in car seats go for it girl
You need to hire a driving instructor to teach you once a week. You cam practice with your son, in an empty parking lot or a cemetary or at colleges during vacations and weekends. Dont bring all your kids they can be a big distraction and that eliminates your fear of something happening to them. Keep your mind on your driving. Dont worry about an accident. You need to drive on country roads no traffic after you are confident in an empty parking lot. You do need. 1000 hours of driving practice to take your driving test. But driving is a skill the more hours the better. If you drive slowly and keep your eyes on the road in front of you you will do fine. If my Grandmother could do it at 62 you can. But again dont bring all your kids.
You are the Mother!! Stick with it and you will gain confidence the more you drive!!! No excuses!!!! Your older kids need to live their lives not be the daddy's to their siblings!!!
NOPE...DON'T EVER QUIT. NOT ONLY DO NEW DRIVERS MAKE SERIOUS MISTAKES SOMETIMES, EVEN THOSE OF US DRIVING FOR YEARS DO. I WOULD SUGGEST, IF YOU ARE FEELING A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE TO TAKE YOUNG DRIVERS OF CANADA COURSE. GO OUT AND GET MORE PRACTICE. YOU WILL GET USED TO IT IN TIME. JUST DRIVE SLOW AND DONT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE ROAD. IF YOU GIVE UP NOW, IT WILL BE TOUGH TO GO BACK IN THE FUTURE. WE ARE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. YOU CAN DO IT!!! ♥
This a decision best made by Rosalie and her sons. You don't know the personal dynamics of their personal family life. She knows what works best for herself and her children, you don't.
With eight children and no husband, you NEED to get a driving lisence. You cant depend on your older kids forever. They will and should move out and make their own way in life. You should not let fear stop you. Do it for your children especially the little ones. You would never forgive yourself if you had to rush a injured child to a doctor or hospital and could not because you did not learn to drive. I was in that position several times had to rush my daughter to the ER no time to wait for ambulance she would have bled to death on my kitchen floor. Love is the oppisite of fear. Let the love you have for your children overcome your fear. You can do it. Do it afraid. You can study all the rules but you need at least 1000 hours of practice before taking tbe test. Some people need more before they are confidant. My daughter flunked her test twice. I had to hire her a private driving instructor who got her over her fear and she finally passed. And you can too!
You don't want to quit driving, trust me you will have to get a ride for everything. It makes you feel like a burden on others. That is a lot on your teenage son.. Like another said take a driving course, it would really help.
Get a driving instructor (if you havent tried one) before giving up. I was petrified when i first started out and after having a specialized driving instructor, I am a good driver.
Do whatever you feel confident doing. I can only say that having your own license is a burst of freedom. It gives you independence. But if you don’t feel confident then don’t do it. Either way your still awesome! Just 1 on 1 driving in the beginning would be easier on you. Parking lots are awesome to practice. Good luck girlfriend you’ll figure it all out! I have faith in you. 💕💕💕💙💙💙💙💙💙
Sorry Kiymee for taking so long to respond. I had been thinking of you and hope you are doing well. Thank you for always being a support. The kids were not the problem, I was. Sending you lots of love as always to you and your family!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Please do not quit driving. Invest in a driving course, It’ll help you be more confident. Don't give up, Keep moving forward, you won’t always have your kids to depend on.
Dont give up I sometimes wanna give up too but you got small kids that depend on you and it would be selfish of you to put that burden on your other kids to have to drive yall around when you are capable of driving don't make them feel like they are the parent
Keep your license. There’s so many drivers on the road now. You just have to keep your head on the swivel . All drivers are not perfect, some are more reckless, uncaring than others. Honestly, you’re the head of the household so you should be driving and encouraging your oldest children to drive so they can help you out when needed. Please keep your license.
Please don’t give up . Keep at it. Try a drivers training school to help build your confidence . Driving is a piece of freedom you should fight to keep.
Thank you Lily, I thought about trying a session with a driving instructor and seeing how I do. I did go through a driving school way back when I was in high school.
@@Momof8kids A refresher is what’s needed then
Why u going to quit thats just showing your kids when things get tough u just quit when as parents we have to show our kids that no matter how tough things get u never just should quit or give up ..Its not your older children job to drive everyone around what abt there lives like moving away getting married one day...u don't want them to feel they can never leave or have there own lives....
It wasn't about getting tough, it was about risk and safety. I am responsible for them.
@@Momof8kids I don’t think they were telling you to be tough as being mean. How ever in my words “they meant when times and jobs or life get hard or tough” Rosalie you have a lot of support on youtube. We can talk you through rough times. Please don’t give up and quit.be that mom you need to be.go to parking lots such as school when they are closed and have your older boys set up a drive area for you to practice in. Honey I know it’s hard having everything dumped on you but if you delegate responsibilities for the older children, it will help take the load off of you plus it teaches them life skills. Something everyone needs before they move out on their own. Just remember one day at a time. I have always told my children and my grandson when they or he is feeling overwhelmed I remind them how do you eat an elephant… one bite at a time. God will not put more on us than we can handle….I will say it’s gonna be tough some days but you’re a strong woman and a good mom. Will be watching for updates make us proud Rosalie!!
No it isn’t. It’s teaching the kids that you always err on the side of caution when it comes to safety. It’s teaching them to be honest with themselves about things we don’t want to admit to ourselves. It’s teaching them to accept their limits and realize we can’t be good at everything. If she’s feeling unsafe as a driver and telling you that she thinks her kids are in danger with her driving, why on earth would you presume to know better than her? If a new mom came to you and said “I think I have postpartum depression and it’s starting to scare me. I’m overwhelmed and I have moments where I resent the baby. I’m scared that I’m not safe around the baby”, I would hope your advice would be “Call your doctor right now. You need to address this problem now while it’s still in your control. Don’t risk allowing it to escalate to the point you could actually hurt the baby.” I hope you would not be saying “Girl, you’re fine! It’s totally normal for the hormones to affect you after delivery. You just have the baby blues. It happens to everyone!”
She’s past the point of practicing in a parking lot. She has her license already. She knows how to drive in parking lot conditions. She’s struggling with adapting that to real life traffic situations where your response time needs to be immediate to constantly evolving conditions. This isn’t like her saying she’s struggling with her new hobby of cooking and she’s thinking about bailing on it. She’s saying she doesn’t feel her kids are safe with her in control of a weapon of mass destruction. Don’t minimize what she’s saying. Don’t presume that you know better than her what she’s talking about. When unsafe drivers are on the road, people die. If you’d seen some of the horrific things I’ve seen because of car accidents, you wouldn’t be saying what you’re saying. And I’m also a mom whose child died because the doctor, my husband and I all failed to see that there was something going drastically wrong with the baby’s health. I know the absolute torment of being destroyed by regret and wishing you could go back in time and make a different choice.
Some people are bad at math. Some people are bad at drawing (raising my hand). Some people are bad at driving. Rosalie should be commended for being brave enough to admit that she isn’t a safe driver and being wise enough to foresee how dire the potential consequences could be if she ignores that.
Everybody has close calls in the beginning, it's part of the learning process.
No don’t quit Rosalie…take a break and go back to it. No don’t give up.
I've thought about taking a break, but not sure if it will change anything though. Thank you Robyn for your input.
YOU GOT THIS GIRL!!! DO IT!!! ❤❤❤
Please keep practicing. It isn’t fair to your older kids to have all that responsibility on their shoulders. You are the parent and we as parents do the hard things for our children. Don’t give up! You can do this!
Just pace yourself, you can do this. Drive very short distances for awhile, then do alittle at a time. Know one is perfect..You can make up a plan because
your a very smart woman and your doing a great job with the kids.
You warm my heart Sharri. Your support is much appreciated, thank you!
@@Momof8kids ❤
Don’t give up❤❤
Please don’t quit, you will get it my dear. Just give yourself Grace and patience. ❤
Rosalie, don’t give up! It took me a very long time to get comfortable driving again after my husband passed. Either take a drivers course, or drive around your town as often as you can. I drove only a certain area for 6 months and am only now getting confidence. I’m not the best driver, it I’m so much better now. I’m still terrible at parallel parking and parking in general, but I do it. You don’t want to just give it up and have to rely on someone all the time. I think you’ll regret it. Just Think of ways to improve your driving. I really believe you can do it.
Rosie Rosie. Honey. You can’t quit. Driving is one of the hardest things we have to learn but also necessary & practise & experience gets us all there . We all come across near misses even after years of driving. My hubby drives every single day in the work he does. He comes home cussing someone out who did the wrong thing or saw a close call as he says. But we also come across that just crossing the street or getting Rammed with a trolly just simply shopping. Accidents happen if we’re in a car or walking out our front door.
Also remember you are driving a very large van so that has got to be a challenge. A smaller car would be much easier for a new driver. We just purchased a smaller 2 door car for Reece to learn in & he finds it easier than the 4 door Ford falcon. Is it possible for you to purchase a second hand little car just until your confidence is on point.
I believe in my very soul that you can do this. Don’t let the fright deter you. ❤
You are so beautiful Marg. I love what you did for your son! I do find driving the van challenging (when I was in high school I was learning in a car.) So you are absolutely right when it comes to size of vehicle! It would be a considerable expense for our family though, getting a second vehicle plus car insurance (manditory in Canada). That would cost several thousand dollars. If you haven't received the card with the letter in it yet, then you could send me an email if you are comfortable doing so then I can email you what I wrote. Sending you love always Marg, and to your family also!
Do not quit driving. The more experience you have the more confidence you will have. It’s called defensive driving for a reason. Always watch out for what other drivers are doing. They’re the ones to watch out for.
That is exactly what I do!! I don't trust other drivers, but I was told that I should be going (turning or whatever) instead of hesitating because I don't trust the traffic.
@ I always hesitate at a green light. You never know when some idiot is running a red light. I only hesitate long enough to look both ways for red light runners or emergency vehicles.
Don’t put all this on ur kid, it was not his decision to have all these kids. Finish what you started and let the kids and teens be teens. Let the older ones have a life of a teen. Take a drivers course and take that burden off ur son. It’s ur responsibility!
I keep thinking....will they ever be able to move out?? Have a life of their own??
@ probably not bc of how they were raised sadly. She was dependent on her husband bc he married her when she was just a so young young . so now she is dependent on her older kids. It’s sad them kids don’t have a life of their own. I’m sorry before anyone comes and makes a comment saying this is bullying, it is not! You are suppose to raise ur kids to be strong independent adults so they can leave home and have a life of their own and be a productive member of society, Not keep them home so they can drive you everywhere bc you want to not drive anymore. They are young adults I’m sure they are feeling guilty, bc yes her husband passed, their father but they need to have a life of their own and not be held back bc of her inability to do something that a capable adult should do! I’ve watched her videos from the beginning before her husband passed and I’m sorry but it was all strange. I was hoping after he passed she would get it together and become a strong independent woman, but sadly now she just uses her older kids to do things for her. I hope her kids are able to have a great life as an adult and for her to become a strong individual woman.
@@ImAmericanMade01 I agree. She needs to let her kids rise and shine and be a wonderful addition to society. They actually always look so unhappy to me. I know this is all that Rosalie knows but there’s got to be change. Let it begin with her.
Wow, so you watch what I put on RUclips and now you think you know me...
Don't listen to these negative comments. Not everyone is meant to drive. Your family's safety is the most important thing. I've been driving 43 years and if I had to start driving now, I would never want to, the traffic is absolutely horrible in Niagara. Don't believe that you're a burden to your children who drive. If they didn't want to participate, they wouldn't live with you still. I believe all of your children are devoted to you and want to help you do what you need to, to continue on for your husband's sake.
People can be so heartless! Do what's best for yr family. ❤
You’re a mom … a single mom at that! Sorry Rosalie but you have no choice. You’re going to have many many scary experiences driving. You’re going to learn that a lot of people have road rage and a lot of people done care about your well being. You can’t control or change others you can just do your best as yourself. If your son who is much younger than you can do it so can you. He’s going to start resenting you and the kids and that’s the last thing you want just promise. You have to drive because your kids and yourself have needs. You can’t just give up so easily. Driving is a necessity!!!
Hi Rosalie, please don’t give up. Keep practicing. Practice practice practice. Your boys can’t stay with you forever. They need to be able to go live their best lives on their own at some point. Trust me. They will become resentful and angry. And I’m sure you don’t want that. You are a very wise woman and deep inside I know you are aware of these facts. Please reconsider.
I don't think you should quit Rosalie. I can see this is weighing heavy on you. But as a head of household, it would truly benefit you with so many young kids. Take your time with it. I practiced in parking lots. It's a lot of pressure to put on your eldest son. I have so much confidence in your abilities. I know you can do it Mama!! Much love ❤
Rosalie just keep practicing. You can do this. Don't give up.
You can do this don’t give up. You got this. I understand you worrying about safety but there’s got to be a way
You Got This Rosalie. I didn't drive till later in life, and I felt the same way. Drive in empty parking lots to build confidence, next drive in town, and once you feel comfortable enough then drive on highways. It just takes practice. Love and Hugs from Florida 💜🤗🙏
Thank you, your encouragement means a lot to me. Love and hugs to you too, always!!
You can’t quit, it gets better & it’s too much responsibility for your older children who are going to feel compelled to drive when it should be you. Your little ones need you to be there for them and that means being able to drive. Your eldest are adult age, they will move out one day. What’s noticeable as a single mother of a big family myself, is perhaps your older children are not working towards independence. Do the eldest have jobs? Even part time jobs if they are at college. It teaches them so much and enables them to feel a sense of achievement in earning some money and learning how to manage it. It also shows them they can be helping towards expenses. That’s adulting. Don’t give up your licence, you earned it. 😊
Thank you Sharon for your input. My oldest do all go to school, I want them to focus on their grades. However, my oldest does volunteer at a church he found every week and my second oldest is now starting to join him.
It’s not fair, you’re being selfish if you quit.You had 8 children. It’s not fair for your older children to take over your responsibilities to raise your younger children. Go to a driving school and or hire someone to help you get your confidence back. Rosalie don’t give up!!!
Please don’t quit driving. We all make mistakes, especially when we’re learning. I also feel like it isn’t fair to your older kids to have to take on all the driving, you can do it, practice more and maybe schedule lessons if they have them around there.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I don't drive either for the safety of everyone. Don't feel bad about it. I also got my G1 in Welland and was a nervous driver learning on the roads. You are making the right decision for you.
Rosalie, honey I understand. I am 61 years old. I have never driven or had a license. I am just too scared, and it is dangerous for me. Having said that, I would not totally give up yet. Just please be safe. If nothing else, you can just drive to do little errands like grocery shopping, etc. Much love and good luck.
You’re a new driver and it’s quite daunting out there and I totally understand what you’re feeling. Even as an experienced driver with many years behind the wheel I too sometimes feel intimidated these days with so many people not paying attention on the road but as frustrated as I get at times I can’t imagine not having my license. Confidence comes with experience but you’ll still feel frustrated at times. There’s just no getting around that. With you being so important to the family as head of household I feel it would be unwise to let your license lapse for a couple reasons. Yes, you could have your other son step in and learn how to drive and get his own license and he should do that whether you keep yours or not. It’ll take the burden off both you and Julius and as a family of nine I feel three drivers would be extremely beneficial in the event one of you becomes incapacitated for one reason or another. At least there’d still be two available drivers. You never know when one of you will become ill or just too busy to accommodate such a large family so yes! Have him get a license anyway. You are just as likely to get hurt as a passenger as you are the driver so your reasoning on that is only slightly flawed (I mean that in a nice way) and as a driver who may get into an accident, it’s also true that it may not be your fault and you’re still going to feel guilt either way when someone you love is hurt even by someone else’s actions. If there is too much going on in the vehicle while you’re driving you could always have a talk with the kids, especially the younger ones that while you’re driving you need to be paying attention to keep them safe. I know they always want your attention but are old enough (except the lil guy) to understand that while driving you need to focus more on the road. Have the older children help occupy them or give them coloring books or use one of your phones to play cartoons or movies to help them focus on something other than you. If it’s just inexperience you can find a professional to give you lessons and if you look around I’m sure you might be able to find someone who’d be willing to go with you maybe a couple days a week for an hour or two for a fairly reasonable price until you feel more confident and gain some valuable experience while it’s just you and the professional and you can totally focus on the road rather than a busy van full of loving but noisy children.Your older children may end up leaving for their own endeavors one day and you’ll be without any drivers so keep your license but utilize them now while they are still at home to help you. At the end of the day Rosalie you have to do what you feel is right but I’d advise giving these suggestions a good try and seeing how you feel then before making such a huge decision. Whatever your decision I’ll still be here supporting you and your family. Just don’t let fear be the deciding factor. Take care my friend! And I’ll get a package with my email out to ya soon! Just been busy and not feeling well! See ya!!
I am grateful for your advice Luisa and you brought up some good points. The kids are fine in the van it is just me. I was thinking about doing a session with a driving instructor to see if it makes a difference in my driving. You definitely have a good point about three driver's in the family and keeping my license. I think that is the way to go. Don't feel you have to rush about mailing me, I understand. (I've been very busy myself recently.). Always love hearing from you Luisa, take care as always and sending hugs!
@ Glad to be able to help !!! Take care !! Hugs 🤗!!
I’m not sure if your son is teaching you to drive, or if you’re learning to drive through a driving school with a trained instructor, but if you’re not actually taking driving lessons through an instructor, that’s something you definitely want to do. Having your son teach you, especially if you have your other children in the vehicle with you, is not the best way to learn. A trained instructor will be able to gauge your driving ability, and tailor the lessons to that. And they’ll have you drive in a vehicle without distractions. Learning this way will build your confidence, as you will have success with small things, and will be able to build on that. These lessons are cheap, but it’s definitely worth it to save a little bit up each month to invest in your future.
I went through a driving school years ago when I was in high school. I was thinking also about trying with an instructor again. Thanks for your input.
Rosalie, hang in there. You can do this. Maybe taking a course would help you out. Im on your side. All said, youve got to do what is best for you and the kiddos. Youve had a rough road but I've watched you overcome so many things and i think you can do this too!! Sending love and hugs to you and your family.
Don’t give up girl, you got this!!
Rosalie, you've come so far and been so strong, please don't give up. Just give yourself more time, practise and show your kids that sometimes things can be achieved, even if it's hard in the beginning. You can also take a break first, this might help to relieve some of the stress. I know you can do it! It's only fair to your kids and you might one day need to be able to drive in case there is an emergency or when you're older and depend more on the car to get around. Sending you strength, saying a prayer, I believe in you! 💌
Hi Rosalie, It looks like almost everyone believes you should continue to drive. I agree. My Mom didn’t get her license until after my Dad passed away. She was afraid for quite awhile, but there was no public transportation where we lived. She did okay. The only problem was driving over bridges. She eventually conquered that fear.
I hope your oldest son gets his license for the freedom it will give him.
I was driving home from my son’s house yesterday and someone beeped their horn at me. I was not paying attention and drifted into the other lane. I quickly realized my error and focused on driving. I don’t like driving when it’s dark outside.
Keep doing the next right thing. You are doing great. Be proud of yourself! Love to you and your family. Lynne
Thanks Lynne, I really appreciate your support! Take care and sending love to you as well!!
Don't give up your right to drive. I was 30 yrs. old with 3 boys before I finally got my license and had build up quite a fear of driving. But with practice I've gotten to be a a much more confident driver. ❤Please don't give up.❤
You should keep at it. It took me ages to feel comfortable when I got my drivers license. You've got this.!
Thanks so much for sharing, it is helpful and makes me feel optimistic!
Keep practicing. You will get better.
What if your boys leave and get married?
I say this with absolute peace and love:
I hope they will move out, get jobs, get married, etc.
BUT. It seems like there is a bit of Stockholm syndrome in that house. Glad to see Rosie breaking out a little, but it seems they’ve been so isolated and conditioned to not leave.
You only see slices of somebodies life on RUclips and you jump to all kinds of conclusions.
@@Momof8kids I don’t think it’s conclusions that people are jumping to Rosalie. You put content out where people can clearly see what is happening. It’s out in the open. I’m sorry you get offended by that but you are the one that shares what’s happening in your home. Your story is very unusual. Your life style is very unusual. I don’t think anyone questions that. And we aren’t trying to be mean. We care otherwise we wouldn’t be here for you. I am sad that you can’t see that.
I come from a cycle of abuse. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. It was whack honestly. I vowed to change that cycle. Out of seven kids, I was the one who walked away and made a change so my kids never had to experience that. I tell you that only to give you and your family hope.
You've got this! Do what's best for you!
My mom did not get her dr. Li. until she was 39, drives with one foot on gas and one on brake. Always remember you control the car not the car controls you. Go by the rules of the road and you should be ok. You walk or ride a bic you can drive. Learn to putter around town, not on major highways. Until you built your confidence. I had to learn to drive from a small country town, at age 18 and one week later we moved to Norfolk Virginia and my husband left for six months on a military cruise. My town had two streetlights wide and three longs. To a major city. With many lanes and we moved in winter so had to drive in snow, by myself. I slide all over the place God was with me and my baby. I got lost a lot and had a lot of misses from other drivers. I had no one but me. So, I had to drive if I could do it then you can. If my mom can drive, you can. Just do local trips stay off highways. You got this, you may not like it but you can do it. You have common sense, and driving is no different than riding a bike or walking. You will get used to it. Again, you control the car. Just stay focused on the road and signs and street lights, signs etc. If I could do it you can. Peace!
Sorry, but you need to get more drivers education. It is not fair to your children to make them responsible for all driving. What about when they want to move out? You need to continue driving after some classes and practice.
Don’t quit. Practice makes perfect. You got this.
Who is telling you that you won't be a good driver?
Have the older boys take care of the younger kids and go out driving BY YOURSELF for an hour once or twice a week for more practice without having the distraction of the kids in the car. You can do it. If the provisional license requires a licensed driver in the car with you, just go with that one passenger.
Driving is an essential skill for YOU; don't put the responsibility off on your boys. You CAN master it.
It’s a shame children no longer have drivers training while in school. Starting while you’re older must seem daunting? You will overcome your fear the more you drive and get comfortable doing so. I cannot fathom being unable to drive as I have since I was 15 and am now 65. I’ve driven in many other countries even on the opposite side of the road but enjoy the freedom it brings me. Don’t give up.
I am 61 years old. I have been driving since I was 17. I am more anxious driving these days not because of myself but drivers around me. Unfortunately I live in an area where most times when I walk into a store I can smell marijuana coming from someone that walks by me. A lot of these people are behind the wheel driving which is very scary. It doesn't keep me from driving but I just stay close to home in the areas I am used to, and I don't go out unless I have to running all my errands in the same day.
If you have other drivers in the house you obviously can share the driving. I wouldn't leave it all up to your sons but it is definitely something you could share. It would be a good idea for your oldest son to get his license no matter what. Wishing you all the best Rosalie you're a good Mama.💐
Hi. 1. I agree with others who have suggested you take a driving course, or 2. hire someone to teach/ride with you one-on-one (kind of like a tutor).
3. Also consider going on short driving trips without the children (utilize a babysitter?); drive to the post office, master driving that route and then try another destination. Try going to an empty parking lot to practice parking.
4. If you know certain times of day are really busy where you are, try driving at a different time when there's less traffic.
5. An alternative would be to check out the city bus, public transit.
6. As others mentioned, maybe consider if putting all the driving on your older son(s) is healthy or fair to them.
Maybe make a deal that you'll drive every other time until you get more comfortable and skilled at driving.
I don’t think you should give up driving Rosalie , you learn by your mistakes. The first day I got my license I turned on a side road and went through someone’s yard lol. Goodness can’t no one drive worse than me when I first started driving. You’ll get better at it. Have a wonderful weekend. Hugs
Rosalie, Sending love and hugs! You got this!🙏❤
I don't see it as a quitter if you try your best. However I don't think you should stop driving. I think you should practice more and don't cut yourself short. You can do this.❤
She needs to stop telling the internet her business.
She's begging😢
Your older kids should not be “co-parenting” your younger kids, their siblings. That is not fair to them. As the parent you should be capable of and responsible for the driving.
Keep at it. Learn to go to one destination at a time. Get your older kids to watch the younger one and go practise with the driver. Gain your confidence. You will get there.
My family always started driving practice in cemeteries and then after hours at store parking lots (well lit). Cemeteries because obviously no traffic, and the little roads don’t have traffic lights or other distractions. Then we used empty parking lots to learn being comfortable to pull in and out of designated spots. My daughter referred to it as “learning to color inside the lines”. As well behaved and responsible as your boys seem to be, I’m sure they will always be a huge help to you, but you should consider that one day they will be the man of their own family. Hopefully they will continue to live in the same general area as you. But there’s always a chance that they live a distance away, be it for their partner, for a career, etc and you will need to learn independence again.
We all got introduced to you by a sudden, devastating tragedy in your life. We saw you lost. We saw you timid. Now we get to watch you carefully find your confidence. You are a PHENOM. 💪. I am rooting for you, Mama. ✌️🫶. Peace and love from Virginia, USA
Rosalie… practice makes perfect. Practice, practice, practice! I suggest going out EARLY in the morning, by yourself, and just drive. I don’t think you should be a nervous, inexperienced driver with a carload of children. Practice driving in neighborhoods and in parking lots. Stay away from heavy traffic areas during busy hours. Perhaps you can go speak with the owner or manager of a driving academy and explain to them your situation. Maybe they’ll be willing to give you a discount or free classes. Have one of the boys stay with the younger children and take the one that can drive with you. Also, please have full coverage insurance on your van, with enough coverage for a possible replacement. I don’t think that giving up is a responsible option for you as the only parent. You can’t depend on them to be your chauffeur for the rest of your life. I know that right now they’re willing to help you whenever needed, but there will come a time when they’re ready to move on with their lives and this could hold them back. You wouldn’t want to hold your children back from their dreams just to shuffle you around, right? Right. YOU CAN DO IT. Mom’s all over the world do it everyday, not necessarily because they want to, but because they have to. You’re not a quitter. You’re just lacking confidence. So, put on your boss shirt and lace up your boss babe boots and go! I have faith in you! ❤
Please don't give up and quit learning to drive. Honestly, you should have had your license and been way more self-sufficient before now. But, you're doing it. You won't always be able to rely on a child. With that many kids at home, you should be able to drive if an emergency arises. You are doing fine. You just got spooked. Once your emotions calm down, just try again. Every single driver has close calls and scary moments, but you learn from them and do better the next time. I'm rooting for you!
Rosalie. You need to drive. It is your responsibility Keep on trying. It’s not easy or fun but you can do it. How would your sons feel if they had the accident? Woman up girl. It’s selfish if you don’t keep trying. Take lessons hun.
It sounds like you had a bit of a scare but it’s not the end of the world. Just keep going. Practice, practice, practice and you will get the mastery. Try to pick quieter times to go out. Your confidence has been shaken but you will get better.just stick to shorter trips and close to home and as your confidence builds you can go a bit further. Don’t quit altogether because your children will move on to their own independence eventually and you will still need to drive. I have been driving over 50 years now and I have just started to cut back on driving because I have neck problems and can’t turn my head so good now. I won’t risk making a mistake and sometimes I am slow turning corners because I can’t see far enough. This is why I’m slowly giving up driving. You’re still young and healthy so keep going. 😊😊
Thank you for your encouragement Cheryle, I really appreciate it. Sorry about you neck and I hope it starts to feel better. You sound like a smart lady. Take care!!
That's very selfish your just giving up , and your not being fair you should have a talk with your oldest children about this.
Don’t give up… practice is the best thing to get better at something ur just starting to learn to do…
I was afraid to drive as a teenager. I used to have dreams of driving down a steep hill in my town and heading straight for a brick building and i would wake up. Once i took lessons and practiced and got my lisence in six months time, i never had that dream of crashing sgain. My fear was gone. To this day 50 years later i am a slow and careful driver. No accidents.
Hi Rosalie don't quit driving just do and go where you need to go. I understand how you feel I myself just go where I need and that's it. Lot of careless drivers out there just be careful ❤
Thank you Kathit, I think that is good advice.
The only way you get better is practice. Your son/son’s shouldn’t have to carry the load your the parent.
I don’t think should quit however, there are people that never become good or safe drivers. I know you live in Canada but if you have doctor appointments with the children many insurances cover rides in the US, maybe you can look into that. As far as grocery shopping perhaps try a delivery service and order online. For all other appointments I’d call an Uber so there isn’t too much responsibility on your older children. Although, I believe to some degree it’s good for children to feel responsible and dedicated to the family. Perhaps if they drive you places you can have this as a chore instead of a different chore. I don’t agree that it takes away from their childhood if it’s done in a fair way. In fact I believe it could build self-esteem and good bonding. I’m one of 8 children and number 7. I’m 60 years old and we all had chores, my siblings drove me places if mom was making dinner and dad was at work. I believe it made us all closer. To this day my siblings are not only people I gather with for holidays but are some of my best friends. I can only pray my 4 children and grandchildren are as close with their siblings and cousins as we all are. Good job Rosalie in recognizing that driving may not be a safe choice for you and your family. There are too many unsafe drivers out there already!!!
My grandmother had my Grandfather drive her until his death at 64. She had a disability. Her left leg had surgery and could bend. But when her husband died she did not want to depend on her two daughters to drive her everywhere. She hired a driving instructrer and traded in her husbands big Buick car for a smaller boxier car easier to handle. She had been afraid to drive all her life but the thought of not being able to be independent and stuck in the house drove her beyond her fear. After 100 hours practice, she got her lisence and drove everywhere. She drove very slowly and carefully. I drove by her once her eyes never left the road in front of her. She went all over in several towns and two states. Never had an accident. Her husbamd sold insurance so she was aware of how most accidents happen. Her husband would never make a left turn because most accidents happen doing that. He would drive out of his way so he only made right hand turns.
Also as I told my daughter when she was learning to drive, slowly coast up to lights and keep three carlengths behind the car in front of you so you have room to stop.
That said, everyone is giving great advice. I know if was difficult for my Mom. Drivers courses can help very much
If I can offer some supporting advice, is it takes time, practice makes perfect. I think it is very valuable to take a drivers training course. As we learn to drive most of us have had some scary moments of close calls, but that is where we learn. I am now 50 and driving is not my favourite thing in the world, but it is necessary so I don’t have to depend on others to drive me around. My youngest song got his G2 this summer and he is still nervous, but we encourage him to keep practicing.
Practice makes perfect.
Rosalie, nobody is a great driver right out of the gate. It took me a few years to get comfortable driving. You can’t quit!! don’t ever do that! it’s not selfish, you are the head of the family and need to show your kids resilience. everyone has to get through the learning phase. but i’m telling you a year or so from now you’ll be so sure of yourself behind the wheel you’ll wonder why you ever questioned yourself.
Rosalie dear, take a driving course. Find a big parking lot thats empty on a weekend and drive. Go to a place with very little traffic and go up and down streets. It takes time to build up that confidence. My mom learned to drive at 59. She stayed off freeways and really busy streets and took longer, less congested routes. Relax.
Don’t give up! You just need more practice. Maybe having all the children in the car is being a distraction! Teach them to be better passengers. ❤
No, it wasn't the kids, they are fine in the van. It was 100% my fault (it had to do with a parked car).
You can do it!
Please don’t quit driving,
Close calls? There is risk for everyone with driving. You have to be aware of your surroundings and be very alert and not distracted. As a mother of that many children, you need to keep trying, as it isn't fair to your children to have to be your chauffeur for the rest of your life. You can do it!
Dont ever give up Rosalie, never. You got this. The more you practice you do, the betrer you get.
Rosalie, please don't stop driving. All of your children need to be able to depend on you. The skills you're learning gives them hope. Your driving gives you more independence and you'll just be adding more responsibilities onto your children by requiring them to do a BIG portion of your job. Be brave for them and let them all experience your strength by doing what life requires of you. They only have you as a mentor now. You have to teach them that life isn't always easy and people have to do what makes them uncomfortable sometimes. They'll see your strength and admire you for it. Don't forget how far you've come. Please rely on yourself because it will also give you so much more confidence and they will see your confidence and know that "Hey, Mom's got this, therefore, Mom's got us!"
Hi, especially with 8 children, you should practice more driving, never quit when starting something, you don't want to be a quite, that doesn't solve anything, and you are showing your children that you can be a quite, my mom drove and she never quit doing anything, my mom had 10 of us children, please don't quit, hugsssss ❤❤❤
You need to continue driving FOR your family. Surely, someday your son will have an independent life and will no longer be the main driver for you. You CAN do this! You are still a beginner driver and you will become a better driver and also develop more confidence with time.
Try to drive during “off times” when traffic is reduced and have the older kids stay at home with the younger ones while you run errands. It will be less stress and less distractions for you. Don’t give up!
Please don’t quit. Take short trips until you feel more confident. Maybe ask a neighbor or friend whom you know is a good driver ride with you a few times and give advice and share precautions of their experience. Everybody feels like you do at the beginning. Give yourself one year before you make this huge decision. It would be a detriment to your youngest kiddos as well as yourself if you give up. Keep trying girl.
I think you are experiencing anxiety because of near accidents with the car. Sometimes these are learning experiences for new drivers and actually help you realize not to do these things in the future. We all learn how to drive over time, not just when we first learn how to drive. We pick up things the more we drive. I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Maybe take short trips with the van and work up to going a little further from home over time.
Yes, I did get a big scare! It was 100% my fault and involved a parked vehicle. I don't understand why I thought my foot was on the brake when it was actually the accelerator!!
@@Momof8kids There isn't a driver out there that hasn't made a mistake. I bet you will never have that happen again!
It is something that you will be super aware of now. Keep trying and don't give up.
Rosalie, have you asked for your son's opinion and whether he would mind him taking on all the responsibility of driving? Is he fine with that that you don't drive anymore? Also, say he should in some years, decide to leave home and get his own vehicle. Are you ok not having your license and having to use public transportation all the time? New beginners are going to feel somewhat nerve behind the wheel, but if you're always feeling tense and on edge when driving, perhaps take lessons and see how that goes. If you still don't feel comfortable driving, then perhaps it's just not for you. When we have accidents or near misses, it can cause us a lot of anxiety while driving for some time afterward. You have to do what you feel is right. Just because so many people are telling you not the give up, YOU DO YOU Rosalie. Best wishes in whatever you chose to do about this issue
You scared yourself, don’t give up every time you get behind the wheel as a new driver you will learn . It doesn’t always matter who’s the driver is accidents do happen, regardless of experience.
My Mom never was able to drive. She tried a few times to pass the test, but never was able to do. She was intellectually disabled so some things were difficult for her. I remember as a child we always had to take the bus. When I grew up and left home she would walk, take the bus or go across to Seattle on the ferry. It never stopped her from getting anywhere.
I remember having friends moms who didn't drive and they hated it because they always had to find their own ways around. These people need to think about how scary they're portraying the world to be. Grow up, people and do what life expects of you or don't have children that will need you.
@ I think you’re being hateful. We all have our difficulties. No need to be so judgmental.
@ she asked for our advice.
@ true, but there is no need to be rude by saying to her not to have children or taking advantage of her teenage sons. Other people are giving her great advice on a kind way. Try a little kindness.
@ try minding your own business.
Dont give up! Take a drivers course or go out one on one with your son even on back roads and less busier streets for more experience! I hear you tho, with all of the accidents daily - it is a fear of mine to get my license.
Thank you Lorilynn, for sharing. I did have a driving instructor years ago when I was in high school and it does help a lot with fear. I should probably do it again. Take care!
You need to keep trying to drive. It's scary at first, but it gets easier with practice. It would be more selfish to quit than to keep working at driving. Everyone is nervous at first. You'll soon gain your confidence.
Keep practicing. Don't give up. You might have an emergency or need groceries. Just drive once in awhile.
That is good advice!
Don't give up. It happens to everyone. And most of the scary close calls are because of the other drivers on the road. Never give up. Your children need you to take them places as a part of being a parent.
Better get these boys working! And married
Don't give up don't quit you have scared right now but get over it go to school driver's course you always have to watch out for the other person your son is going to have to watch out for the other person so what happens if he hurts all of you just be careful and drive only when you have you can do it I did it on my kids were small and we didn't even have them in car seats go for it girl
You need to hire a driving instructor to teach you once a week. You cam practice with your son, in an empty parking lot or a cemetary or at colleges during vacations and weekends. Dont bring all your kids they can be a big distraction and that eliminates your fear of something happening to them. Keep your mind on your driving. Dont worry about an accident. You need to drive on country roads no traffic after you are confident in an empty parking lot. You do need. 1000 hours of driving practice to take your driving test. But driving is a skill the more hours the better. If you drive slowly and keep your eyes on the road in front of you you will do fine. If my Grandmother could do it at 62 you can. But again dont bring all your kids.
You are the Mother!! Stick with it and you will gain confidence the more you drive!!! No excuses!!!! Your older kids need to live their lives not be the daddy's to their siblings!!!
NOPE...DON'T EVER QUIT. NOT ONLY DO NEW DRIVERS MAKE SERIOUS MISTAKES SOMETIMES, EVEN THOSE OF US DRIVING FOR YEARS DO. I WOULD SUGGEST, IF YOU ARE FEELING A BIT UNCOMFORTABLE TO TAKE YOUNG DRIVERS OF CANADA COURSE. GO OUT AND GET MORE PRACTICE. YOU WILL GET USED TO IT IN TIME. JUST DRIVE SLOW AND DONT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE ROAD. IF YOU GIVE UP NOW, IT WILL BE TOUGH TO GO BACK IN THE FUTURE.
WE ARE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
♥
This a decision best made by Rosalie and her sons. You don't know the personal dynamics of their personal family life. She knows what works best for herself and her children, you don't.
With eight children and no husband, you NEED to get a driving lisence. You cant depend on your older kids forever. They will and should move out and make their own way in life. You should not let fear stop you. Do it for your children especially the little ones. You would never forgive yourself if you had to rush a injured child to a doctor or hospital and could not because you did not learn to drive. I was in that position several times had to rush my daughter to the ER no time to wait for ambulance she would have bled to death on my kitchen floor. Love is the oppisite of fear. Let the love you have for your children overcome your fear. You can do it. Do it afraid. You can study all the rules but you need at least 1000 hours of practice before taking tbe test. Some people need more before they are confidant. My daughter flunked her test twice. I had to hire her a private driving instructor who got her over her fear and she finally passed. And you can too!
You don't want to quit driving, trust me you will have to get a ride for everything. It makes you feel like a burden on others. That is a lot on your teenage son.. Like another said take a driving course, it would really help.
Get a driving instructor (if you havent tried one) before giving up. I was petrified when i first started out and after having a specialized driving instructor, I am a good driver.
Do whatever you feel confident doing. I can only say that having your own license is a burst of freedom. It gives you independence. But if you don’t feel confident then don’t do it. Either way your still awesome! Just 1 on 1 driving in the beginning would be easier on you. Parking lots are awesome to practice. Good luck girlfriend you’ll figure it all out! I have faith in you. 💕💕💕💙💙💙💙💙💙
Sorry Kiymee for taking so long to respond. I had been thinking of you and hope you are doing well. Thank you for always being a support. The kids were not the problem, I was. Sending you lots of love as always to you and your family!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Please do not quit driving.
Invest in a driving course,
It’ll help you be more confident. Don't give up,
Keep moving forward, you won’t always have your kids to depend on.
Do not quit. You just need to practice more.
Dont give up I sometimes wanna give up too but you got small kids that depend on you and it would be selfish of you to put that burden on your other kids to have to drive yall around when you are capable of driving don't make them feel like they are the parent
Please don't gave up on driving
We all have things happen
Don't gave up.
Hi family. XOXO
Good morning!! Great to hear from you!! 🤗
Keep your license. There’s so many drivers on the road now. You just have to keep your head on the swivel . All drivers are not perfect, some are more reckless, uncaring than others. Honestly, you’re the head of the household so you should be driving and encouraging your oldest children to drive so they can help you out when needed. Please keep your license.
Thank you Cheryl, what you say makes sense.
You are too young and healthy to 'quit' anything, You can do this. Show your children you can do this. :)
I've got a question for the big mouth haters! do you stop hating on Sunday?