Every Zero Punctuation 2014
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
- Every 2014 Zero Punctuation episode with no punctuation.
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![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
Looks like we missed a pretty obvious error at the start of the video. Our bad!
These are in fact the 2014 ZP episodes, however, so carry on.
Escapist how many jokes did you censor this time you cowards
@@betweenthepanels9145 RUclips will demonetize if left in, so go watch the originals if you want the jokes. Wouldn't cut out the jokes if we had a choice.
@@betweenthepanels9145 Deal with it, you coward.
@@theescapist Don't you think maybe you could spare the money to put out a handful of compilation videos for free? Or is your integrity just not worth it?
@Bum Luck Um, our integrity comes in part from the fact that we pay people for the work they do, including editing together compilations. Maybe take a second to think about what the word integrity means next time.
"Maybe in the next COD we'll save the world with a super virus that only targets people less than 3/4 white", that was almost exactly the plot of advanced warfare and I love how right he was
The truest words are said in jest
@@ExpandDong420 So believe me when I say that Frey is actually the best character in any videogame ever. My evidence is that she has the power of rainbow gamer keyboards. (her cloak has RGB lighting).
@@Shadethewolfy that's some irrefutable evidence if I've ever seen any
Well as has been well established, Yahtzee seems to have the power to manifest his innermost thoughts. Honestly at this point I'm starting to believe some developers are actually listening to Yahtzee on his sarcastic advice, just because designing a game can be fucking miserable. Obeying stupid advice is their dayjob so they sometimes obey the _funny_ stupid advice
"I speak no hyperbole when I say that releasing every box with no disc inside would've been less of a mistake."
Bethesda: "Release... with... no... disc... in... box."
I bought portal one time and when I opened the box there was no disc only a code.
Pretty much 75% of ps4 dlc. Remember when games gave you the download discs?
To be fair, FO76 may still be less of a mistake than Ride to Hell, for whatever that laughable notion is worth. At least a couple people seemed to enjoy the former unironically, even before the Wastelanders update. Don't think anyone ever said "R2H is good!" with a straight face lol.
My god
Your the nostalgia twat referenced in these videos 😂🤦♂️
Nothing besides more hardware came from gen 5-6. Hell thats why all the successful gen5-6 games, were 4th gen games . . . So capitalizing on nostalgia for a payday. As if the AAA gamming industry needs more free yachts
@@donovanulrich348 the fuck are you on about
"Depends. Is that a gun, yes. Is THAT a gun, yes. Then I am friendly." might just be my favorite ZP quote from this year's compilation.
"Just pretend that the mop is a sword and that the floor killed your parents."
"DON'T PUT IDEAS IN MY HEAD, WOMAN!"
Compiled for your perusal and enjoyment.
0:00 Yahtzee’s 2013 Best & Worst
5:37 Knack
10:26 Killzone: Shadow Fall
15:07 The Survival Special - Starbound / 7 Days to Die / Rust
19:50 Broken Age
24:42 Might & Magic X: Legacy
29:27 The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds (or a Nintendo reprimand)
34:21 Dark Souls
39:06 Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
43:57 Strider (2014)
48:36 Thief
53:31 Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2
58:22 Dark Souls II
1:03:17 Titanfall
1:08:12 Infamous Second Son
1:12:58 Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
1:17:39 The Elder Scrolls Online
1:22:31 South Park: The Stick of Truth
1:26:56 FTL: Faster Than Light
1:31:14 Daylight / Child of Light
1:35:55 The Amazing Spider-Man 2
1:40:46 Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure
1:45:39 Wolfenstein: The New Order
1:50:12 Watch Dogs
1:55:08 E3 2014
1:59:57 Murdered: Soul Suspect
2:04:37 Tomodachi Life
2:09:18 Enemy Front / Valiant Hearts: The Great War
2:14:10 Shovel Knight
2:18:58 EarthBound
2:23:38 Transistor
2:28:17 E.T. the Worst Game Ever
2:32:41 Firefall
2:37:08 Sacred 3
2:41:40 Risen 3: Titan Lords
2:46:24 Daikatana (John Romero’s B**ch)
2:51:21 Lichdom: Battlemage
2:55:59 The Sims 4
3:00:39 Destiny
3:05:37 D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die
3:10:27 Hyrule Warriors
3:15:03 Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor
3:19:47 Alien: Isolation
3:24:26 The Evil Within
3:29:05 Bayonetta 2
3:33:42 Sunset Overdrive
3:38:38 Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare
3:43:23 Assassin’s Creed Unity
3:48:05 Far Cry 4
3:53:19 Dragon Age: Inquisition
3:58:09 Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric
Not all heroes wear capes and wield super strength; some heroes wear amusing t-shirts and wield a keyboard.
Kkkk!mmm,.kkkk me 😊 not
"The lifetime zero punctuation achievement for total abhorrence goes to Ride to hell retribution. Which it will hold indefinitely" I wonder if Hunt down the freeman is eligible to take the spot
I’d like to point out that we do have a couple of apes in control of a handful of major pies... maybe HDtF will take that slot... maybe there’s a RtHR:1% sequel in the works called Ride to Hell Redemption: 2% Harder... who could really say in this dark age we live in...
I’d say it should’ve, since Ride to Hell wasn’t so broken that you needed to noclip to bypass level crashes.
My favourite one was “Shit down the Piss Shit”
Nah, hunt down the freeman had moments that may have actually looked competently made (likely stolen assets but still) ride to hell retribution had NOTHING
*falls asleep*
*wakes up*
*Hears Yahtzee making a long-winded metaphor while a man in a trilby hat does questionable things in an adorable art style*
*smiles*
*all is well*
*falls back asleep*
Funny thing is he doesn't wear the trilby anymore apparently. It was in one of his "Let's Drown Out" videos when he or his companion (Wanna say his name is Gabe, though I dont think it is) mentions that he only uses the trilby in the videos as a clear marker for Yahtzee himself.
@jmacb86 Let's Drown Out WWF No Mercy, and yeah it's Gabriel Morton from KeepetClassy
5:00 I STILL cannot believe that Yahtzee accurately predicted Manticore in Advanced Warfare
Wait a fucking sec, the virus thing actually happened?
Manticore, a virus created by the ATLAS corporation, was a virus programmed to kill anyone with DNA not registered in the ATLAS database (read-enemy combatants). Whilst not SPECIFICALLY what Yahtzee predicted, it's pretty damn close and MANTICORE could (presumably) be used for much a similar purpose as Yahtzee described here.
He's proven to have that bizarre Simpson's level pre-cognitive psychic ability (or excellent deductive reasoning based on being so involved in the gaming and writing industry for years.
Perhaps in lieu of accurately predicting it, he may have inspired the writer that was just told "Make villain evil"
@@SpankSandwitch99 he also makes 48 5 minute videos every year with a ton of jokes like that. The odds...
I feel like the "true" ending of Far Cry 4 is the secret one. Especially for me, since my first thought upon having a man who has shown a penchant for stabbing the disobedience out of people tell me to wait while he handles something is not "hoo boy, better skedaddle"
that's the only one I'm willing to accept as canon, given how awful sabal and amita both are he's honestly not so much worse anyway.
@@KOT_AMV and it’s not like the bad guy is going to run things any worse than those two will
Is the secret one the one where we leave and dont arrest him?
@@realgooba That's far cry 5 mate lmao
"Gaze ye not into the Abyss, lest the Abyss' boyfriend get narky"
- Nietzsche
I need these compilations to sleep now, I used to have to set up a playlist and then wake up every 4 to 6 minutes from the opening song thats always been a couple decibels louder than a jet engine taking off. Truly, we are blessed
Woo! That time again! It's time to spend 4 hours of my life listening to this like a podcast.
Tell me about it!. Shame I do not have any PS4 games to install while I inevitably watch the entire video, after telling myself I would not.
Well Beef5 you can always watch this a few times while building a gaming pc and selling your ps4
@@schlattdid9861 But with a gaming PC you have to install games, wait for them to update and download extra files and deal with the game running slightly below 120 fps!. The new age space tech that is the PS4 removes all of..... wait a second!?!
Full disclosure; when I get stuck pushing carts at work, this tract is exactly what I use to keep myself awake.
I legit put this video on during work, and turn my screen off, (Thanks RUclips Premium), and bam, free four hour podcast
I'm looking forward to Every Zero Punctuation 2007-2016: The First Decade.
Taking vaccation for that Video then ^^
It’ll be a glorious 2 month binge to say the least
Fun fact, some madman put closed captions on the entire 2013 mega ZP episode. I haven't had a chance to check through it yet, but that person deserves a medal.
Escapist Will 2007-2016 be about 2008-2017?
@@theescapist Plot twist: it was Yahtzee himself who captioned the 2013 collection. He has the script, after all.
1:53:42 "Whats all this then" The most violently British confrontation phrase
Hi you made this comment 4 years ago, just wanted to remind you how much worse your life has become since then
Those “Bayonetta in Smash” jokes certainly aged as gracefully as Bayonetta herself.
Take that whatever direction you will.
FLY ME TO THE MOON!
The joke didn't age tall though
I remember whe the ESO review first came out.
The minute he said,
"Skyrim, Oblivion, Morrowind and some other ones no one cares about anymore".
Oh dear God how the fanboys raged and it was hilarious.
Which is weird because nearly all Elder Scrolls memes I have seen are based on those 3 games. I have yet to see any based on the spin-offs or the first 2 games.
@@alexisc.820 I have..... technically.
They tend to be on mobile devices that almost no one played.
Hammerfell got an appearance on the N-Gage. I heard that it was decent, for the N-Gage.
"A jrpg isn't a jrpg unless it ends with teenagers using the power of friendship to kill god."
😂😂😂😂
that's insightful, actually.
Amalaric GoTH Bahamut had it coming.
Wouldn’t it be grand if the game ends with God winning then saying, “I’m God....what else did you expect?”
You did it! You broke JRPGs down to their bare essentials!
@@qdllc that would be a massive hit to the common JRPG ego
@Amalaric GoTH Technically not since Noctis is 20 at the beginning. The rest would've been accurate though.
This content is absolutely timeless! A few times a year, I tend to a watch/listen to random year and each time grants me a good chuckle
At about an hour and eight minutes in, and there is about 15 seconds of silence. I consider that punctuation. I am disappointed.
I feel like that's safe to consider an ellipsis, so I'm in your camp.
1:08:00
The only course of action is to pursue them aggressively in the small claims court for such an outrageous transgression
@@theletterm1787 when I reached that part I thought my phone died
It's the required pause after bitching about EA - keeps his head from exploding
Just popping in to say thank you to the Escapist for editing together these yearly compilations. Absolutely awesome idea; cheers to you guys; cheers to your editors; and cheers to the legend himself in Yahtzee Croshaw. On a side note; apologies to you all on behalf of humanity that some people can’t grasp the idea that joke censorship is done to avoid demonitization rather than “bowing to PC culture” or whatever the hell people are whinging about.
Just finished rewatching the 2013 compilation for the last dozen times and the thought came to me last night:
"It's about to be a month now, so 2014's compilation is due quite soon."
Today: "Oh how I just enjoy these hindsight moments. On to the show Yatzee!"
"Yes. You fucking pricks."
One of the funniest moments in the entire series.
Yay ! Thanks for those compilations who are surprisingly small enough in mp4 for me to put it on my phone and listen to it when the world doesn't look cynical enough
Thanks for putting these together! It's always fun to go back and watch these old ones. Funny thing is I always find one or two that I haven't watched before! Like a little surprised in my cereal box.
"One of the many advantages of Nazi's is you don't have to justify shit" - Oh younger Yahtzee, if only the world had keep that attitude.
The Shovel Knight review where Yahtz jokingly refers to biscuit samurai and fridge viking makes me wonder if ubisoft saw that video and decided that making For Honour might be a good idea.
I sure hope in 2021/2022 that Yahtzee remembered that he said he'd call his kid Battlemage at 2:51:29
well, he hasn't mentioned their actual names, so there's a chance 🤣
Unfortunately in a stream I superchat and asked him why he named his dog toffee instead of battle mage. He said he wasn't serious and it was an example of howbgood the title and needless the word "lichdom" was.
And then he called me a massive nerd for asking that. Which I squeed a little at being insulted by him; which proved him right
i just like hearing him talk i don't even care what it's about. i put this in the background while i do nothing
These compilations make my week when they’re released
Try listening to this on 2x speed, it’s honestly fantastic, 0.5 is also great, sounds like that one receptionist in his Witcher One skit
I love how Yahtzees rust summary still describes Rust perfectly nowadays even though the game has gone through a LOT of changes since then.
2:11:03 - WHY DID YOU HAVE TO PREDICT THAT AS WELL? Every big or not so big company tries its own launcher system now - Paradox Interactive has one for its grand strategy games, Rockstar has one and more are on the horizon...
4 hours of Zero Punctuation, I can postpone and/or speed up that wank I was planning.
This isn't your wank material?
Postpone AND speed it up? Simultaneously? Now im interested..pls Go on then..
Elijah Nakumura
It’s called “Edging”.
Sir Apple Thats holding in the result, im talking about the action lol
I love how he's straining to pronounce the long sentences while running out of breath
the horrifying part about the lightning returns review is it's accuracy
It's the year of Knack, baby!
Ohhhh yeah KNAAAAAACK BAYBEEEEE
Here comes the moneeeeeey
1:24:13 "Deploy humor: Ha Ha Ha, humor deplyee" is a line i use all the time!
1:08:00 there is nothing here for around 13 seconds
WOW RAN RIGHT INTO THAT
Wow, thanks Satan
Whoops i meant 1:08:00
Im legitimately impressed
It was Yahtzee taking a massive breath for the rest of the compilation.
I wanted a hand-cracked Brontosaurus feeder, and I want one now!
I love how he addresses home invasion with an immediate wtf, as we should.
Hello algorithm, you're looking efficient today.
Bollocks.
Time to play another rousing game of "spot the cut joke"
Haven't noticed any in this or the 2013 one! I even kept tabs during the Papers, Please! video to see if a joke was cut and it wasn't.
@@Unknwnwrrior It's interesting that joke Yahtzee actually regrets didn't get cut out
They stopped cutting jokes in 2013! You've won!
@@blasterjosh wait which one is that?
@@blasterjosh Which joke would that be? I know he went back and cut some transgender jokes because he felt bad about it, but I don't know which joke he feels bad about in this one.
At 5:04 he got that dead on, in Advanced Warfare they actually do develop a bomb that attacks anyone who doesn’t match the DNA of any registered person.
And the zipline thing in kill one shadowfall......
I wish Escapist would make these into a separate playlist. I mean these compilations.
>"Every 2014 ZP"
>2013
_!!!_
Holy shit, Ride To Hell, Star Trek AND Colonial Marines all came out in 2013? Hell of a year, I guess.
01:10:33 placing a marker here because I love it when Yahtzee tiredly says "what *am* I on about!!"
So far 2014 has made me LOL the most 😂 sitting here laughing my ass off, of a picture of an angry trifle because he was "a trifle miffed" 🤣
SweetKiren 2:18:04
@@kidragakas Exactly 😂😂
Haven't watched this in 5 years, but that same stupid joke made me laugh again x)
The Year of Dark Souls
Year of "Let's all Laugh at an Industry" tune.
Would you say Hunt down the freedom has earned the lifetime achievement award?
Oliver Pearce It’s the worst game of the 2010s.
Has nobody noticed that the intro says “every 2013” and before you say it’s meant to be like that, the actual “every 2013” video says “every 2013” in the intro
I like how the intro says every *2013* ZP
That's some gnarly punctuation at 1:07:59
What's up with the empty void at around 1:08:00 ? 🤨🤔 just an editing error, or was something removed without taking down the entire vid?
"Every last cat litter box can be looted for useless shite that you dont want cluttering up your inventory but are loathe to get rid of in case it turns out to be the secret ingredient in Dragon Rice Pudding or whatever"
God Almighty 😂😂😂😂😂
2:28:30 - The Industry Jingle was born.
Ooooo one of the great years for ZP
just noticed in the valiant hearts enemy front double bill, you can hear crows in the background
Someone messed up the title or the title cards for years lmao
I'm only 20 minutes into the video so I apologize if this is in reference to something later (or if the title has been edited), but are you referencing the 2013 at the start of the video?
That's from a 'Best and Worst of the Year' episode, which sometimes don't get released until the start of the following year (which makes sense as it gives Yahtzee a chance to review at least one Christmas release).
The "Top 5 Games of 2013" episode (as they were called back then) was released on the 1st of January 2014, so it actually _is_ a Zero Punctuation from 2014, as the title claims.
@@TheCrash480 no, it says:
Every 2013
Zero Punctuation
With no
punctuation.
Definitely did not say that in the top 5 games of 2013 video
@@chellejohnson9789 My bad, I must have missed the first few seconds of the video.
You know, no punctuation is fine but subtitles would help us non-native English listeners to be more appropriately amused lol
glad that papers please got a nod against that version of bioshock. cheers!
Comparing this to the fan made 2014 collection by Stale Memes, about 4 minutes of jokes were cut out
It's the final video from the fan made 2014 thats gone. It'll likely be at the beginning of 2015
I don't know why but "Dark Souls has one of my favorite methods of storytelling, which is to say NOT telling it" hurts me to no end
...I love to be told stories. 40 minute cutscenes are excessive but if I didn't want to be told a story I'd just play multiplayer games
You better not be secretly building giant robots around here or I'm going to sulk so hard!
I find it funny how now Zero Punctuation is dead this means that Ride To Hell will forever hold the title of worst game ever
"It's about the introduction of a community bicycle system."
Well, that makes sense, seeing as there were never any witch trials in Salem.
Out of all those videos, tbh if I had a Ferrari F40 in my possession I could eliminate my problems and retire tomorrow, which is a Saturday.
Something about Sims 4, I'm very drunk temper your expectations.
Yahtzee literally predicted the next call of duty advanced warfare at 5:00
25:15 every runescape player
1:51:45 I personally have used "a few dead kids short of an origin story" on one occasion.
So When's every zero punctuation 2007 to 2017 coming
I'm laughing so hard "I have no mouth and I eat ice cream"
Baaaa hahahaha
13:30 - oh for the days when Yahtzee preferred that games be sandboxes
Before the triple A industry took that particular drum and beat it black and blue xD
*grabs popcorn
2:54:33 combines 2 Yu-Gi-Oh cards to get a stronger one. *Shows a Pokémon card*
2:16:01 that's a landmark in my village, nice to have the recognition.
At 2:10:00, is that a flock of geese I hear in the background? Enemy Front review. There’s also a truck backup alert during The Evil Within. 3:28:20
Well it's 11 pm I have school tommorow buuuuuut I guess I can spare a few hours.
OCD productions you are supposed to start the video turn off the monitor and pass out
Wake up and go to class as snarky as Yahtzee
Top ten rappers Eminem was to afraid to diss 28:50
Earth Badger and Ice Dentist live in my fucking head rent-free.
Such a foreshadowing the the Gollum game 😂
Still waiting for a “zero punctuation (zero punctuation)” episode
The beginning of the video has summoned me.
2:03:19 that moment when you realize that Yahtzee made a reference to a previous video.
0:11 A “knickerbocker glory” is a fascinating name for a dessert, lol.
I google-imaged it. Looks delicious!
Also known as a parfait for us food-Neanderthals in the U.S. 😊
A Knickerbocker Glory is one specific kind of ice cream sundae. Parfait might be your equivalent word to sundae
@@ricesnot Ahhhh I see. I think you are correct.
Are we just gonna miss the fact that this is an every 2013 zero punctuation review?
hastily waddle to the bathroom sink to wash the spunk of your hands
why do I feel attacked
2:56:21 rewatching/listening to this in 2022 i spat out my drink hearing this after these past few years since they made that statement
Bayonetta will never make it into Smash Brothers....
It's so weird how much Yatzhee likes Dark Souls when he couldn't say anything nice about Demons Souls. But then again he is a weirdo.
41:52 I played ffxiii-2 and even if Serah's hooters did dispense soft serve ice cream she still wouldn't have been a good character.
So when yahtzee had a kid, did he end up naming it battlemage?
2:29:08 “naughty Yahtzee” why is this not a meme
16:42 This explanation of being nuked from orbit is exactly what happens every time I play Age of Empires. That's why I don't play it even though I enjoy the concept.
I swear to god you can hear beeping in the Evil Within review. Like a fire alarm or something distant.
1:12 7:21 8:25 10:15 19:18 20:35
Yay! This means I can sleep again! 👍
I honestly can't believe Yahtzee even included Dragon Age 2&3 and in the same mindspace as 1. DA1 is a masterpiece of RPG design, 2 and 3 are fucking disasters I wish never existed.
Am I going crazy, or do I hear birds squawking around the 2:11:25 mark? Sounds like a hadeda...
Yes you do hear them.
Killzone nicely predicted the US pullout of Afghanistan.