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  • Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
  • I debated about doing this video for a while, but I'm not ashamed of my past anymore. I'm so grateful for all the many wonderful people in my life, the amazing experiences I had, and my ability to now go on to live the life I have only dreamt of.
    Thank you for your support and your friendship!! I love you all!! Please subscribe, comment, like, etc.
    I hope this finds those who need to see it. I hope this gives them hope. XoXo

Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @s.rosesmith-hayes8740
    @s.rosesmith-hayes8740 4 года назад +121

    I watched the whole video. I could see the emotional roller coaster you were on. I hope you find happiness.

  • @TheLicktysplitz
    @TheLicktysplitz 4 года назад +52

    I hope the rest of your life is filled with joy. You're incredibly resilient and brave especially for sharing your journey.

  • @Chromozol
    @Chromozol 4 года назад +17

    I've always watched a lot of trans people's videos even though I'm not trans, “just” gay. I guess I've always had trouble feeling comfortable in my body, because I didn't feel masculine enough, which makes trans folks' problems (FTM) a tiny bit relatable to me. But those few final sentences in your video kind of wrap it all up for anyone, regardless of their problem. Bravo!

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +4

      All that matters is that you find peace. I hope you do.

  • @intercat4907
    @intercat4907 4 года назад +9

    The thing I wanted most watching this video was to see that awful sorrow leave your eyes. It did, and there's strength there instead, so now I can go get some sleep. Good job, Natalie, and thanks for the video.

  • @izzy2794
    @izzy2794 4 года назад +13

    Isn't it amazing, that you came full circle, to find You? Cherish who you are.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +2

      It is and I give gratitude to have found self acceptance daily.

  • @Indyrm03
    @Indyrm03 4 года назад +23

    YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!!!!! My husband and I were both raised in the Mormon church as well. We left the church 3 years ago.

    • @adamgoodword7888
      @adamgoodword7888 4 года назад +6

      Well done! It's always very encouraging to hear stories of people who have left the Mormon religion and found freedom.
      I always feel deeply concerned and at times troubled knowing that so many innocent people are caught up in this religious deception.
      It takes a lot of courage some times to just walk away.
      God bless!

    • @paulduran3968
      @paulduran3968 4 года назад

      Hey zombie they said they left the church, they never said they stop believing in our FATHER IN HEAVEN!

    • @ashleechan22
      @ashleechan22 4 года назад +3

      @Zombie ZH himer You cursed at them and cursed at them. That's not assuming anything. That was rude. I pray you find yourself too

  • @thisismybrain0noxygen314
    @thisismybrain0noxygen314 6 лет назад +6

    Your soul radiates brilliantly through your videos and it is beautiful. This world would be a far greater place if more people like you were here to inspire and lead.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +1

      Thankfully I believe we are living in an age of awakening and enlightenment. People are waking up and realizing things must change. Thank you so much for the beautiful comment!!

    • @Vero2yu
      @Vero2yu 7 месяцев назад

      How exactly does he ''inspire'' people? Fact is if he was in any way qualified to be called that then he would be telling people things like Always speak out if trauma has happened to you and never try to change your body bcz your mind is disturbed. Like his mind, trans people's mind, real inspirational people are not trans people.

  • @cavlei
    @cavlei 4 года назад +7

    Well done. I can't imagine going through all you've been through but I'm so happy for you. My best friend went through exactly what you did and still to this day finds it a struggle. I'm there for her anytime she needs to talk and I love the bones of her but it just goes to show you that as much as you can be there for someone, you could never imagine or feel the pain that you go through to get to this stage. I think you're amazing and so glad you're finally happy. You got this xxx

  • @laurah4130
    @laurah4130 4 года назад +11

    Depression is a masquerader. Or like wearing glasses that cover up half of all the colors. I'm glad you made it through.

    • @taniatownsend8309
      @taniatownsend8309 4 года назад

      You know that constant feeling of “this isn’t it!”......That”s IT!

  • @elissas2230
    @elissas2230 5 лет назад +47

    Whew, that was a rollercoaster. You're strong as heck and an amazing person 💕

  • @Nutka456
    @Nutka456 4 года назад +11

    No one should be made to feel shame for who they are. Congrats on finding strength and self-assuredness in your journey!

  • @chanroobi7460
    @chanroobi7460 4 года назад +12

    All I can say is wow! God bless you and happy you're finally happy now.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +1

      Thanks Chan!! I really am!

  • @PatriciaKuljanich
    @PatriciaKuljanich 4 года назад +8

    The shame. That's what's hard. If I could take anything away from my daughter, it would be the shame. You are a beautiful creature. You're not a mistake, and all these little things don't matter to the important people in your life. The unconditional friends. Ignore everyone else.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +4

      You're right, the rest is just noise.

  • @Shubanator-qc4el
    @Shubanator-qc4el 4 года назад +30

    When you’re technically mtf and ftm:
    Yeah it’s big brain time
    (This isn’t meant as rude btw, lol you’d transition gives me hope and I’m glad you can love yourself ❤️)

    • @slickandslaycious6579
      @slickandslaycious6579 Год назад

      😉

    • @Vero2yu
      @Vero2yu 7 месяцев назад

      The fact is that they do Not ''love themselves'' and not possible to ''love yourself'' when one is contradicting that by chasing the impossible, like this, what they can never become which is the opposite gender. Meaning they do not love themselves by wanting to change themselves in this manner.

  • @HapillyMe
    @HapillyMe 4 года назад +4

    Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. That takes courage. Also, you are helping others in your boat. Your story can prevent someone from committing suicide. Keep staying strong, live your truth, and keep killing it! You are amazing!!❤💖🌟

  • @knechtthedots9837
    @knechtthedots9837 4 года назад +2

    My heart truly breaks for all that you’ve been through. You’re a beautiful person, inside and out! Just continue being you, and don’t let the world take away your joy! I hope the rest of your life is wonderful, filled with the love and joy you deserve! 😘❤️

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад

      Thank you so much!! Your comment is a ray of sunshine on a cloudy comment section day.

  • @888alp
    @888alp 4 года назад +12

    You can see in his photos he looked unhappy and so lost. So sad to have felt like that way for a long time.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +3

      True, that was a very difficult thing to hide and I wish I'd seen and done something about it sooner. C'est la Vie. Xx

    • @888alp
      @888alp 4 года назад

      Natalie Day I know how you feel, not about your situation, but about my past relationships, I was so miserable and i should of not got involved. Its ok, you cant change it now. I do love myself and i can see you love yourself too!! 😘🙏🏻🙏🏻 Buona Fortuna Natalia 💕🙏🏻🙏🏻😇 E Buon Natale, Ciao bella 💋💋

    • @andiharp9275
      @andiharp9275 4 года назад

      Sadly, the last 3 images look that way. N the words at 13:55 have me perplexed - rather contradictory to his entire journey.
      Nonetheless, pobody's nerfect, right?😉 Live n let live.

  • @3rgioh
    @3rgioh 6 лет назад +63

    I have been using the translator to read you and end up crying .. and discovered that you are a wonderful being, that a beautiful story of superation .. good luck in your new way

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +4

      That's so cool! Thank you!! You're really sweet Siresio, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!!

    • @monkeybubblessupperdude1016
      @monkeybubblessupperdude1016 5 лет назад +2

      @@grlbydesign beautiful.you should have been born a female... stunningly beautiful

    • @joannebushberger6883
      @joannebushberger6883 4 года назад +1

      ✝️JESUS IS YOUR SAVIOUR✝️...TRUST ONLY JESUS ... RECEIVE JESUS NOW .... PLEASE ????😥🙏📖♥️🙏📖♥️🙏

    • @Alexandra_Hill
      @Alexandra_Hill 4 года назад

      @@joannebushberger6883 Jesus was a human like you and I, no more or no less. Natalie has everything she needs, she doesn't need saving or any other claptrap you might spurt from your bible-thumping brain. The only person who can save a person is themselves, by being who they want to be, not what others want you to be. I'm not even sure what you think Natalie needs saving from???

  • @TashaChamberlain
    @TashaChamberlain 4 года назад +4

    Natalie, thank you for sharing this deeply personal journey. I am so glad that you have found peace with who you are.

  • @2014kaydee
    @2014kaydee 6 лет назад +2

    No matter what stage in your life was being depicted through out the video, the entire time all I could see is an incredibly beautiful person and no matter what choices you make moving forward I hope you are happy.

  • @stephaniejones229
    @stephaniejones229 4 года назад +3

    The saddest thing about this entire video is that as humans we just want to be accepted by society. I am the mother of a FTM amazing son whom I love to infinity and back. The biggest lesson is to be true to ourselves no matter what we internalize society judging us as....who wants to be boring 'normal' anyway to 'fit in'. Life is an adventure, and we are blessed to be loved by our tribe....but even more blessed to be loved by ourselves for that love is absolutely the most important. Go, have fun, live life, have your adventure....sending blessings and love to you, you gorgeous girl!!

  • @karenromiah5387
    @karenromiah5387 4 года назад +9

    I enjoyed that you shared your story and struggles. I wish you all the joy in your life.

  • @hmoob8310
    @hmoob8310 4 года назад +3

    You deserve more subscribers! I love your story. So inspired many people, Don’t go looking for Happiness cause happiness is closer to you than you think! Your friends and your family (these one who there and support you no matter what) these people are your true Happiness! I love your story.

    • @jimmapp8257
      @jimmapp8257 4 года назад

      Deserve?

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +1

      Yeah, deserve? Hmmmm mmmkay. Thank you though Hmoob.

    • @hmoob8310
      @hmoob8310 4 года назад

      Natalie Day I am sorry if my words misunderstood you.

  • @EdinburghMayhem
    @EdinburghMayhem 4 года назад +2

    Love the line 'I'm still me, but a version I can love.' Man or woman,we all need to learn to love ourselves. So much hate, fear and pain is created by people who just don't love themselves. They muddy the water all round them so you can't see what an insecure person they are. They hurt others because it's all deflection. Live for yourself. You're under no obligation to make anyone else happy.

  • @ElvenWisdom
    @ElvenWisdom 6 лет назад +18

    Some souls are just Androgynous. No need to define it, it's about embracing both aspects of feminine & masculine energies. I think it's a really beautiful thing to be Androgynous. Surgery isn't really needed, just acceptance of the unique and beautiful soul you are. ✨

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +12

      Thanks for your opinion. That works for some people, absolutely, but it isn't what is true for me. :)

    • @casti26s63
      @casti26s63 5 лет назад +1

      High Elven Wisdom And Love you obviously don't understand the concept of being transgender. it's BEING THE OPPOSITE GENDER. no feminine or masculine energies, no andogynous souls or whatever the hell you're talking about

  • @1silkiesmooth
    @1silkiesmooth 4 года назад +1

    I am so glad you are on the journey of being the true (not real) you. I wish I could have come out at a younger age, but it took me to 57 and open heart surgery to realize life is short and we need to find our place in this world. If there is one thing I can tell you that I found extremely helpful was my faith in God. He helped me thru so much and I am so grateful for His peace and comfort. If you are still in L.A. seek out Hillsong church it is very open and contemporary and I think this will complete the circle of life for you. I pray God blesses you and keeps you as you travel this wonderful amazing journey. Amen

  • @pamdangelo6743
    @pamdangelo6743 6 лет назад +21

    This was a remarkable video. I found myself tearing up a bit about your sadness. I am so happy you have found your true self again. You are amazing. Keep your chin up and God bless

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +2

      Thank you so much Pam!! I'm so happy I've found my truth again. It's hard because I'm still so far from where I want to be, but I know it's just a matter of time. Thanks again!! Xx

    • @pamdangelo6743
      @pamdangelo6743 6 лет назад +2

      One day at a time my friend!

  • @laverndowsley8850
    @laverndowsley8850 4 года назад +29

    this puts 'it's complicated' into perspective.

  • @mauriciocordoba952
    @mauriciocordoba952 6 лет назад +8

    Natalie, you are so inspiring and brave. I hope I can be more like you. Thanks for making this video and inspiring all of us.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +1

      You're very sweet, thank you for your kind words! Xx

  • @KwniStewart
    @KwniStewart 4 года назад +1

    You are AMAZING and I mean that all the way! You inspire me to fight through my problems. We all have our own problems and that's what makes our life beautiful: fighting and overcoming them. Personally I struggle with depression and seeing your journey makes me realise how strong I can be too!

  • @PeaceJourney...
    @PeaceJourney... 4 года назад +4

    You are beautiful no matter how you look on the outside, be comfortably yourself, it is enough

  • @ionapuffy
    @ionapuffy 6 лет назад +2

    You are such an amazing person! The way you know and accept yourself with complete honesty is something I truly admire. Your life story is beautiful, hope you keep living your amazing journey. And thanks so so much for sharing and helping this cis girl to learn and improve herself. Love you!

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +1

      Thank you so much Laia!! It has taken years and a lot of pain for me to finally become so honest, but I'm pretty grateful for it. I'm so glad to have you as an ally, girl!! Love ya!

  • @CookingwithKarma
    @CookingwithKarma 6 лет назад +55

    What a journey you've had. We are very lucky to be sharing it with you. Onwards and upwards from here. You're now back on the right path xx

    • @markanderson3826
      @markanderson3826 6 лет назад +1

      CookingwithKarma your beautiful

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +2

      Hahaha God girl, this path is so much better for me. I'm lucky to share it with you! Xx

    • @jeremylee5990
      @jeremylee5990 5 лет назад

      Actually very sad.

    • @sarahlouisestafford2448
      @sarahlouisestafford2448 5 лет назад +1

      Jeremy Lee actually it's u that's very sad!

    • @eastcoastnews9529
      @eastcoastnews9529 3 года назад

      I’m in the same boat, I don’t have any one to talk to about this that had gone threw it. I lost everything and everyone after the reverse, how can I reach you to text you and get some information/idea/help. I used to be Brit, was my former name:..( hope we can chat I love to share my pics with you. I also modeled. Very similar story ✊🏻💓✊🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @josephbuell963
    @josephbuell963 4 года назад +2

    This stirs me deeply.. I myself have dealt with gender disorder my whole life but I had to realize in order to be fully aware and happy, I had to accept all parts of myself. Even though I feel feminine inside, I am also biologically male. I celebrate both sides of the coin and know my masculinity may not be like other males, but I love being male.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад

      I'm glad that works for you. Some of us are so dysphoric that this is the only way for us to make peace with ourselves. Do what makes you happy.

    • @maudyconcert8304
      @maudyconcert8304 4 года назад

      I would love being a male but i’m not. It’s very difficult. i’m so sad inside but i’m almost 50 now and just try to accept it, just like you Joseph, embrace my feminine and masculine sides. sorry for my bad english . Take care , hug from Holland.

  • @brandycolmer7052
    @brandycolmer7052 4 года назад +3

    Wow! Thanks for sharing your journey. You are a beautiful human, and I’m so glad you are still here, on your journey, learning to love yourself. Me to. Keep going!! ❤️

  • @pirigonzalez5329
    @pirigonzalez5329 4 года назад +1

    I am gay and at times carried on acting feminine. Never have I wanted to be a girl. Can't really say I understand but I do wish that you have made the best choices for you in life. The main thing in life is to be happy within yourself. You be that beautiful butterfly that you were inside. It must feel wonderful to finally be free.

  • @sarahpower2511
    @sarahpower2511 4 года назад +4

    I know life is never "always" amazing, seeing this brings me hope. Hope in that some day I can be as courageous as you.

  • @xoxotay4170
    @xoxotay4170 5 лет назад +1

    All the changes in the world can't fix what's you. You are who you are always will be. Transitioning or not you will always be the same person you were born as. The only way you will be happy is by accepting yourself for who you are were made to be. Never go looking for validation in others. Be happy with your skin. ( some people may take this the wrong way sorry if you do) but changing everything about you won't take away your feelings and change who you are. You will always have those thoughts and keep trying to hide yourself just accept you for you.

    • @Vero2yu
      @Vero2yu 7 месяцев назад

      Exactly! They literally do not try to accept basic reality, fact is it was just not in the cards for them to be what they are not and they are wasting time and money chasing the impossible, it is very contradictive when they talking about being their so called ''true self'' lol, like a big joke that is when they say it, for that they would have to accept what is True and that is what they were from inside the womb.

  • @jeffreyfrechette9302
    @jeffreyfrechette9302 5 лет назад +7

    Im a trans woman who is 3mnths on hrt, your videos have helped me so much and incouraged me to not give up on me and not listening to the naysayers in my life.

    • @jeremylee5990
      @jeremylee5990 5 лет назад +1

      Guess you are hell bent on wrecking your long term health. Have fun.

    • @jeremylee5990
      @jeremylee5990 5 лет назад +2

      You will NEVER be a female just a female impersonator living a life meant to deceive mostly yourself. Dr. Paul R. McHugh, the Distinguished Service Professor of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University and psychiatrist-in-chief for Johns Hopkins Hospital, who has studied transgendered people for 40 years, said it is a scientific fact that “transgendered men do not become women, nor do transgendered women become men.”

  • @sfletch3042
    @sfletch3042 4 года назад

    I just wanna say I admire your courage. It must take so much to be so open to so many people. Thank you for sharing. You're very beautiful and intelligent and I'm sure you will figure things out with time. We are all just trying to figure our lives out as we go. Sending love and light and positivity to you!

  • @forhisglorypsalms9153
    @forhisglorypsalms9153 4 года назад +5

    May you truly find the love, joy, and acceptance you are looking for, that is in your Creator, Jesus. He is the only one that can fill the big hole in your heart. I don't agree with what you are doing, but I do care about you and the Lord created you to bring Him glory. The ol' devil is a liar and a deceiver. I pray that you will truly find happiness in Jesus. He loves you with an everlasting love! You were fearfully and wonderfully made, He knew you before you were born and knows the number of hairs on your head. He never makes a mistake. I pray that Jesus would be found by you.

  • @fortheloveofbrum3106
    @fortheloveofbrum3106 4 года назад

    Thank you for sharing your experience. You have given me a better understanding of the real feelings and challenges people face everyday that somehow don’t feel “right” in the body they were born into. I had the privilege of working with someone who had transitioned and she taught me so much about her struggles and my prejudice and misconceptions. Your shared experience will hopefully spread understanding, love, hope for others who are struggling either personally or with a loved one. Most of all, on the brink of this New year I hope and pray that your experience brings hope to anyone struggling and encourages them to strive towards self acceptance and self love ..... that’s where it begins and ends. Without it we have no true capacity to love, cherish and support others in a sustained way. Wishing the a happy, healthy and prosperous 2020. ❤️🇬🇧

  • @Thatsinteresting363
    @Thatsinteresting363 4 года назад +3

    Your story is beautiful - as are you. Lead the way for others who face the challenges you face with such wisdom. You are perfect as you are.

  • @ehbaeza63
    @ehbaeza63 4 года назад

    It starts from within ourself. If you don't love yourself first & are comfortable in your own skin, YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LOVE ANYONE. You realize that all the insanity & chaos has come from yourself. Then truly who cares ? RIGHT! It only matters what YOU think. Everything else is someones opinion, nothing personal! IF ANYBODY REALLY LOVES YOU, THEY LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE, NOT WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO BE. Embrace the love for you. The hate is wasted energy. Don't ever allow anyone in your life that DOES NOT ENHANCE IT. Love yourself, keep your head up, tread with confidence, be kind to all , have faith & humility.
    This will take you a long way in your life. Blessings to you eternally🙏🏽
    Thanks for sharing your story. This will be of help to so many. Peace...

  • @danipret6363
    @danipret6363 4 года назад +35

    Gorgeous as both male and female. That's a fine specimen of a human right there!

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +3

      Hahaha thanks girl!!

    • @amb0
      @amb0 4 года назад +6

      @Lighten UpFrancis SHUT THE ACTUAL F UP. You're whats wrong with the world.

    • @amb0
      @amb0 4 года назад +2

      @Lighten UpFrancis This channel doesn't have any content lol troll.

    • @amb0
      @amb0 4 года назад +2

      @Lighten UpFrancis Troll.

    • @mjolopez8794
      @mjolopez8794 4 года назад

      Hombre, cuando la gente dice creer ser un gato, un perro o un león, ya estamos hablando de algo muy distinto, ¿no crees? Es más, ¿por qué mezcláis churras con merinas?

  • @tall1sobay
    @tall1sobay 4 года назад +2

    One of the best transformation video's I've watched. Thank you for sharing your story! One thing you did not cover, and I'm sure was very painful, but as someone who grew up in "The Church", I'm very curious how your family took all this. I'm a gay man raised by strict Mormon parents in Salt Lake and I was very fortunate that their love for me was so strong. Thank you again for sharing this Natalie!

  • @kevinkeller4924
    @kevinkeller4924 4 года назад +4

    Wish you the best of luck! Most importantly, you're a beautiful "person"!!! A gift to many people! Peace and love to you!!!

  • @TheeeDanielR
    @TheeeDanielR 4 года назад +3

    Loved your ending statements queen! SO TRUE 💜💜💜💜💜 we’re on the same same boat!!! It gets bettter ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @EsBignell
    @EsBignell 6 лет назад +118

    Men or woman you are beautiful! In side and out.hope that your happy and living your life to the fullest ♡

    • @JulieWallis1963
      @JulieWallis1963 4 года назад +5

      just fun there’s so much more to a content life than being beautiful, whether that’s inner or external beauty is totally irrelevant.

    • @iliketurtles2355
      @iliketurtles2355 3 года назад

      No she’s not. Ever heard of gender dysphoria? It’s scientific. It’s where a person is born with opposite brain waves than their physical body. Sure, she is biologically male. But in her brain patterns she is female. Why the hell do you care anyway? She’s happy!

  • @tommyboybr
    @tommyboybr 4 года назад

    Oh wow, what a journey Nat!!!
    Life is like that, learning, getting to know who we are, exploring our potentials, finding out who we are and what we want in life.
    I am sure that your soul is pure, you’re just going through life and it is tough, but you do your best and write the best story on these pages.
    You are beautiful, no matter what, I am sure that you are beautiful inside as well.
    I wish you all the strength you need to keep moving through life, love and consciousness until the very last day of your journey, but until then, enjoy your life the most you can, be your best, do you best, not for everyone but yourself!
    Cheers! 🥂

  • @stevekrause5931
    @stevekrause5931 4 года назад +3

    A beautiful story from a beautiful person. Thank you. God bless you, Natalie.

  • @TheFiown
    @TheFiown 4 года назад

    Goodness as if doing this once is not hard enough ! What is important is not the wrapping but the content. I was told that if I had problems before surgery I would still have them on waking up and surgery just made you look the part but being the part is harder. For me it was easier, it took me 38 years but I just went into the hospital alone, had the surgery, went home, changed wardrobes and carried on with my life as before and if anyone had a problem with me it was their problem not mine. I felt no embarassament or shame, I carried my head high and got on with life. I answered serious questions if asked but other decided that who I was , was no one's fucking business. It has been 25 years this year, all good.

  • @tinglelingaling6
    @tinglelingaling6 6 лет назад +110

    Have you thought about writing a book? You could call it "Amazing Day" or "Oh... What a Day" something like that. You have lived so many lives already.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +21

      LOL, I have thought about it, but I wouldn't even know where to begin. I thought about maybe writing a screenplay because I love making movies. Hahaha who knows though, I honestly never thought I'd put any of this out here. Xx

    • @twystedhumour
      @twystedhumour 6 лет назад +13

      Natalie Day Hmm, why not start with your 3rd beginning (this most recent transition) where you tell us your thoughts and your experiences. Then, you can go back to some of your past, most esp. the struggles while being an "acceptable" male, then to your 2nd beginning (the first transition) and the de-transition where it climaxes. The epilogue would then be your epiphany -- and then, we see YOU, your real YOU, like a butterfly emerging from your chrysalis . You could call it "A Day's Journey." Let me know when it's opening night so that I can buy a ticket.
      Trans-tweener

    • @YcatsMartinez
      @YcatsMartinez 4 года назад +2

      I’d read/watch it.

    • @azraelsgrave
      @azraelsgrave 4 года назад

      @@grlbydesign If you do not know where to begin, start with "the".

  • @thespiritualsagaofanidiots8223
    @thespiritualsagaofanidiots8223 4 года назад

    Thank you for exposing your raw emotions and inspiring video. I think this is most needed and could benefit thousands. Though it manifests in as many ways as there are people, We are ALL uncomfortable within, until we find our truth. We cannot try to cover our light, shine yours brightly Natalie !

  • @kimlovesmodestmouse7584
    @kimlovesmodestmouse7584 6 лет назад +9

    Really great video. You have such a beautiful story and thank you for sharing it. 💗

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад

      Thanks girl!! I appreciate your support!

  • @ericamae7287
    @ericamae7287 4 года назад +1

    You know where I live young people are committing suicide every single day. Each morning we wake up to another young life destroyed, families being ripped apart and generations to come forever dainted with the loss of their loved one. It rips parents hearts out and they will never smile again, well not a true smile. My point is you live your life as you see fit, look into your own heart and ignore others minds. Live to see another day, keep pushing through and simply be you. Noone has the right to judge because one day we will die but for now life is for living. I wish you every happiness in the future and to anyone struggling in this life you are important you are beautiful and you are loved just allow yourself to see it because sometimes we can't see the woods for the trees. ❤️

  • @rachelallen5989
    @rachelallen5989 6 лет назад +4

    Natalie, again i am amazed by your ability to just be a fantastic person. You have an amazing heart. I back you 100% through your journey x
    p.s... i wish i could give this video more than 1 thumbs up!! Xx

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад

      Awww thanks Rachel! I wish you could too! :P Seriously though, thank you so much! Xx

  • @apocalypse_frau
    @apocalypse_frau 6 лет назад +11

    You are so bold, so open, so lovely. Thanks for the encouragement about starting therapy last week. It went well, and I was finally able to tell someone (the therapist) bluntly that I am trans without dancing around the subject and interjecting/projecting my fears into the moment. It feels great to feel accepted and safe-to finally be me without the charade. It’s a small step, but I did it. I truly appreciate your openness in sharing your journey and the emotions which accompany it. I feel hopeful today, and will continue to invest positivity regarding the long haul through the days that aren’t so great. 💕

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +2

      I'm so happy to hear that!! We all deserve to be happy and the only way I know how, is by being who you are. Live authentically! If you need anything else, reach out to me on either IG or email me. Best of luck girl!!!

  • @joanmitra225
    @joanmitra225 4 года назад

    You don't know me and I don't know you. But what I do know is you are a beautiful beautiful person. Someone I would want to be friends with as I see your beauty from inside out. You are amazing, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And whatever you do, put your happiness before others bc at the end of the day, its you who are living your life. Life is meant to be celebrated. Embrace yourself. Embrace you. We support you! ❤

  • @carolinerambles3885
    @carolinerambles3885 6 лет назад +5

    So brave, bold and inspiring, you're truly amazing 💖 🌠

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад

      But was it "stunning and brave?" Hahah I hope you got that reference. Thanks Caroline!!

  • @jesusp.pelayo8482
    @jesusp.pelayo8482 4 года назад +1

    Oh goddess. You're a testament of beauty. But before that comes your happiness. I'm so glad to have found your story, it's so heart warming. Thanks Natalie for sharing.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +1

      Thank you!! I'm glad you found value in what I had to say. :)

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад

      Also, goddess? Thank you!! :D

  • @markalexander6841
    @markalexander6841 4 года назад +50

    All the best, everyone deserves happiness in their life.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +4

      Yes we all do. Thank you!!

  • @robertcarroll5036
    @robertcarroll5036 4 года назад

    Hi Natalie, as a father of 5 my, role is to love unconditionally and support my kids until I fall off the perch. If you were my daughter I would tell you how much I love you, how proud of you I am and give you the biggest hug. After watching this video, and someone introduced me to Natalie Day, I would feel so privileged and in awe and still give you the biggest hug.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад

      Thank you for your sincere words!! :)

  • @jasonburch6107
    @jasonburch6107 4 года назад +43

    Dont know why RUclips Analytics recommended this for me but did i watch the whole thing.....yes

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +8

      I won't complain. The algorithm favors me sometimes and I'm glad it was interesting for you. :)

    • @paugasolina5048
      @paugasolina5048 4 года назад +1

      probbaly u gay bro

    • @Alexandra_Hill
      @Alexandra_Hill 4 года назад +2

      @@paugasolina5048 you might want to back to school, at least to learn how to spell, probably not though, also comprehension is a good skill to master, understanding what you are reading and listening to, Natalie is a female and therefore cannot be bro...You have neither good manners or decorum. PROBABLY, you should work on this, be a productive contributor to society, as opposed to blurting out complete tosh, amadan.

    • @janetharrison9807
      @janetharrison9807 4 года назад

      @@Alexandra_Hill huh? He is referring to Jason Burch's comments

  • @carolynnalvarez7032
    @carolynnalvarez7032 4 года назад +1

    Man, as a recovering addict. I realize we have experienced alot if the same pain, and looking outside for what only can come from within. And I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Everyone deserves to be content in their own skin. And I hope that for you from the bottom of my heart and will continue to pray for you and the rest of the trans community. Make or female you deserve all the best. Hugs.

  • @lumber1125
    @lumber1125 4 года назад +3

    I pray you find real inner peace. Physical transformation is a covert up of the inner darkness struggle my friend. Temporarily happiness. It's an outlet of self hatred. So you'll go though the extreme to change yourself. I can assure you that God loves you and that it's the dark forces that have a hold of you. Have you believe in a lie. Call out for Jesus. Because that's the true healer of the mind, body and spirit. You were made as a man. A perfect creation from God. I pray that you be delivered out of this very sad struggle. May God send his spirit so that you know him and break free. God bless you. You're in my prayers

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +1

      Thank you for your concern. I'm free. Thank you for the prayers.

  • @Justmichael1995
    @Justmichael1995 Год назад +1

    This resonates so much with me. Also grew up LDS, I'm just starting transitioning and I am terrified of the loss of my male privilege. Thank you for your awesome story.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  Год назад +2

      Good luck. If there is anything I can do advice wise to help, let me know. It sounds like we have some things in common.

  • @adyndhamustikaazzura9775
    @adyndhamustikaazzura9775 6 лет назад +7

    I love the way you tell your story, the editing, everything, the choice of words, you're amazing 🌻

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +1

      Thank you so much Adynda!! Xx

  • @carlosvalentin4899
    @carlosvalentin4899 4 года назад

    Thank you for sharing this, Natalie! You vulnerability is helping more people than you can possibly imagine, encouraging them to be honest with themselves and the rest of the world.

  • @TraciWithAn-i
    @TraciWithAn-i 4 года назад +15

    That’s wonderful that you’re finally happy and have self-worth again. It sounded like you had a rough ride trying to get to a positive. headspace. I’m sorry 🙁
    Always remember...our bodies are just a vessel that our soul temporarily hijacks. No need to change the vessel. Changing your opinion of yourself is much more effective than having an overhaul done. After all, you still have the same sputtering engine underneath it all. Fix the engine (your mind) and you’ll learn to love every asset or flaw that can only be YOU! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and if someone tries to make you feel anything less, then fuck them...they obviously could use some engine work themselves!!! You are loved by every kind-hearted person (ie: Me) who truly care about this earth, her inhabitants and beyond. Hug the world. We all could use one 🤗

    • @aja8521
      @aja8521 4 года назад +1

      IMHO religion taught us that “ our body is just a vessel that the soul hijacks”. Religions twist things. Our body is a temple that must be preserved in Our Creator’s likeness. Our Creator has no gender. Our Creator is pure love. He wants us to love ourselves and each other. That is why I will not judge the person who made this video. I just can’t bring myself to do this. I see it in their eyes, the pain, turmoil. But, I do not feel pity, because they discovered that gender isn’t happiness. Love is. Happy New Year to all.

  • @Circletwice
    @Circletwice 6 лет назад +2

    Thank you for sharing this. I am so stoked for you and how far you've come... And thank you because this video helped me a bit in further understanding my own thoughts/uncertainty around who I am. You continue to be an inspiration and a help.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +1

      I'm so glad to hear that! Thanks May! I envy those who knew from day 1 who they are and never fought against it. We all just do the best we can though, and I hope you find your happiness!! Xx

  • @danhill2543
    @danhill2543 4 года назад +4

    People that are transgender talk about wanting to love themselves I'm just gay and I don't even know what that means To Love Yourself I never even thought of it hell I don't even know how the hell I even feel anymore

  • @jerrycruz9547
    @jerrycruz9547 4 года назад +1

    Thank you for this beautiful journey about how difficult your life has been. People never realize what any of us are experiencing. I am gay but know this, your struggles are more profound than I had ever imagined they would be!

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад

      It's kind of interesting huh? Like I can empathize with people more than most, but I could never fully understand what your experience has been either. Then there are the countless variables, the different relationships, social circumstances, etc. That's why it's so important to share these stories. Yes it's been difficult, but I'm so fucking strong to have gotten through it. It's still a struggle at times, but all of these experiences have taught me resilience.

  • @tanja4600
    @tanja4600 4 года назад +6

    You are beautiful. Inside and out. Do not forget that 💓 thank you for sharing your story! Stay strong 😊

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +1

      Thank you!! I shan't forget it anytime soon.

  • @dewdot
    @dewdot 5 лет назад

    You are SO strong. I have so much respect for you. You had to go through so much to finally be happy with yourself but I’m incredibly happy that you’ve found that self love. I’m sorry that you had such a difficult time accepting yourself but know that we all love, accept and care about you

  • @ddtddt8493
    @ddtddt8493 5 лет назад +11

    Hey Nat, try living as if mirrors didn’t exist. That way it’s not about how you look but it becomes how and what you feel.

  • @zoemarie4354
    @zoemarie4354 4 года назад

    It really does not matter how people see you, it’s how you see yourself. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I really hope things work out for you. I watched until the end and you are an inspiration for anyone going though the same thing.😘😘

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад +1

      Thank you so much for saying that!! You're right! What matters most is are we happy with ourselves.

  • @sitvisnobiscum
    @sitvisnobiscum 6 лет назад +7

    Natalie girl, i've been thinking about your new video since sunday night. Thank godness you uploaded it today.
    Love the vid btw, and ❤ you. Have a nice week!

    • @sitvisnobiscum
      @sitvisnobiscum 6 лет назад +1

      You are a truly inspiration for me in order to never give up.
      ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +1

      Thank you so much!! It's still hard for me sometimes, but all we can do is try to move a little more forward each day. Best of luck to you!!!

  • @TheRamsfan43
    @TheRamsfan43 4 года назад +1

    I have been struggling with this since I was little. I grew up in a very conservative town and in high school I was terrified of coming out, I'd dress up as women for "fun" doing student government skits etc. I had a ton of pressure to play football because my grandpa played for the LA Rams. I got hurt playing and then got heavily into acting because I could hide myself and that carried me through college and I also built and designed sets and lights professionally. I kept myself so busy that I didn't leave me time to think about myself. Until I got hurt and needed neck surgery. Since then, the depression and anxiety came on full bore and had to leave my job. All I have is time to think about it and I spiraled bad. Now, I know there is nothing I want more than to transition. I have a long way to go though and it terrifies me.

    • @Alexandra_Hill
      @Alexandra_Hill 4 года назад

      what part terrifies you - the process or other's reactions and opinions. Just go ahead and be who you were meant to be, you will be happy, by not pursuing your happiness - you are harming yourself, stop that and take a small step and find your happiness, remember if you are happy and able to love yourself properly, then anyone who is worth it will be happy for you and still love you, I wish you well and fingers crossed you will take that leap, best of luck Alexander!

    • @nadiamordvinkin6310
      @nadiamordvinkin6310 4 года назад

      Alexander Phillips Do you think that "to be woman"- is to be saved from traumas, hurt and depression?! If you think so- you an idiot!

  • @tsxdude2012
    @tsxdude2012 6 лет назад +6

    You are a Beautiful person, inside and out. You’ve shown such much to the world through this video and I wish you nothing but happiness and love in your future.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад

      Thank you so much Arudora, for this very sweet comment! I wish you the same!! Xx

  • @ProBusterxXx
    @ProBusterxXx 3 месяца назад

    through all the gruesome research back and forth, you prashed
    " I'm a version i can love"
    was the point of life.
    Dear, now i get it what to decide!!
    You really cleared my doubts.
    ive seen thousands of videos ...trust me ..this one stands number 1.
    i know not even trans can see life the way u you can see.

  • @awesomecarl90
    @awesomecarl90 6 лет назад +9

    Loved it, will you ever do a video about your ffs?

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +4

      I think I might. Maybe I can do one with my Dr. I'll have to see what he says. Thanks for the idea.

  • @britpoppansy
    @britpoppansy 6 лет назад +2

    Love you, Natalie! You are one strong person to have gone through all of this. I can't wait to see what good things are to come for you! ❤️

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад

      Thanks Luke!! I need to be so much stronger than I currently am, but it's a process, right? I'm excited to see what comes for you too!!

  • @jessicaftw1861
    @jessicaftw1861 6 лет назад +13

    omg - if I could like this more than once.
    Also, you made me cry.

  • @robertdemitro1520
    @robertdemitro1520 4 года назад

    You were born beautiful , no matter what people or you think ! It's been a long road hard road for you and it's a shame you experienced so much pain ! Hopefully everything is working out for you ! Whether you are a man or woman , it's your inner person that shines through !

  • @jennifersinclair7249
    @jennifersinclair7249 5 лет назад +72

    I wish you didn't have to go through all that confusion. I want you just to enjoy life. Without THINKING about gender.

    • @user6d2a05
      @user6d2a05 4 года назад +7

      It's a spirit of Double Mindness that this boy needs to get free from. God dosent make mistakes. we are born either a boy or girl. there is a spirit that is lying and its sent from Satan. God dosen't make mistakes. Feelings should not be listened to, the heart deceives the most of all..

    • @TheReMorseCode
      @TheReMorseCode 4 года назад +2

      The Bride of Christ God’s so powerful that he created the entire world and every human in it, yet he can’t stop Satan from sending humans “lying spirits”? God sounds pretty incompetent and selectively altruistic to me.

    • @jessj.jesusistheonlyway
      @jessj.jesusistheonlyway 4 года назад +1

      @@user6d2a05 amen....this poor guy is suffering from demonic attacks...they all are...it is so sad and hurtful to watch...Jesus change this mans life, Nathan...and show him who you truly are in his life...save his soul dear Lord...in Jesus name...
      I too was once very confused...and not comfortable with who I really was...but without Jesus...were all lost...confused...

    • @CindyTemple
      @CindyTemple 4 года назад

      @@TheReMorseCode somehow you have the strange idea that God is a control freak needing to stop every spirit worshiped and enjoyed by humans.

    • @TheReMorseCode
      @TheReMorseCode 4 года назад +1

      Cindy Temple I have the idea that characterizing God as a sentient being rather than a metaphor is ultimately flawed unless you admit that God is kind of an ass for being all powerful, yet allowing all this heartache and pain into people’s lives.

  • @abrahimsamuels4040
    @abrahimsamuels4040 3 года назад

    Thank u for theses encouraging words I've been on HRT fr 1.3months now and my bf is playing up with me maybe because I'm trans so hurt that we dont have the intimacy we use to have
    But watching this video of u and how u overcame all obstacles in your life and remain true to yourself taught me to have that courage and keep on going no matter what people will leave I cant stop them i can only control myself and what's ahead of me
    Thank u so muj sister
    I'm so happy you touched my heart

  • @deborah8887
    @deborah8887 4 года назад +6

    I’m so sorry for all you’ve suffered. All answers, help, and healing are found in Jesus. I’m not referring to the Mormon Religion, but to the real Jesus of the Bible.

  • @Mommabudgets
    @Mommabudgets 6 лет назад

    Beautiful story. A couple of days ago I tried to take my life. My story is different from yours but discovering who I am has been a long battle. You give me the strength to keep moving forward. Thanks for sharing💗

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +1

      If you need to talk, message me on IG. I had to step away from RUclips for a while because I was not mentally strong enough to handle the backlash. Life can be difficult, but it doesn't have to be. I'm glad you are still here and seriously I'd do anything to help you see how special you are. Keep your head up and keep fighting. Life will be incredible soon.

  • @meaganalexandra6086
    @meaganalexandra6086 6 лет назад +5

    Your Modeling pictures are sooooo good!!!!!

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад +1

      Thank you!!! I am so proud of what I was able to accomplish as a model. Xx

  • @marsellae
    @marsellae 6 лет назад +2

    I am halfway through and i can't stop crying. You have really come a long way. I am always looking forward to seeing your videos on Sunday. Thanks to them i am trying really hard to love and accept myself more. I am so glad, that you are finally yourself. I see a big resemblence of your story to mine, Wish you only happiness and everyting you wish for ! :)

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад

      You're so sweet! I've been struggling to make them every Sunday, because I never expected the response I received and I truly wasn't prepared for it. Good and bad. Keep working to love and accept yourself, every part. Everyone deserves love, and self love is just as important. I'd love to hear how our stories are similar. If you have IG, message me!!

  • @The_Magical_Frequency
    @The_Magical_Frequency 6 лет назад +4

    💕Awesome Vid, beautiful!!! Loved it💕

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  6 лет назад

      Thank you so much!! I'm glad you liked it Chrissy!

  • @yharper31
    @yharper31 4 года назад

    You are stronger than you truly realize and you are beautiful regardless of gender. Be the person you truly feel you are inside and out, learning to love yourself maybe hard at times but that is where to start. All the best to you!

  • @Maharlika97
    @Maharlika97 6 лет назад +5

    Your life is like a Rainbow. It's very colorful. 🌈
    "Life is too short to be anyone but yourself" -Julie Vu

  • @Unknown-yh5fb
    @Unknown-yh5fb 4 года назад

    Dear Natalie, your life story is one of amazement! I could not even come close to understand all that you have experienced from the extreme highs to the extreme lows. You are truly an incredible and inspirational person. Thank you for sharing your personal life experiences. Best regards, Steve.

  • @emokiller907
    @emokiller907 4 года назад +5

    You're good looking either way, best of luck to you. :)

    • @asherdash12
      @asherdash12 4 года назад

      That's what I was going to say. Speaking on the strictly physical part, that's when you KNOW you're good looking , when you can look great either way. Must be nice 😁

    • @emokiller907
      @emokiller907 4 года назад +1

      asherdash12 yeah exactly, if u can look handsome as a man to most people and pretty as a woman to most people you are without a doubt good looking.

  • @chrisswan189
    @chrisswan189 4 года назад

    I just hit 3 years HRT and almost 4 years of transitioning.... I was raised in a devout Catholic family... The shame thing you kept referring to... It was killing me. I understand you so much! It keeps coming back again and again and has only recently been letting up. I distance myself from my family still because of it. Happy you worked it out! I seem to be breaking out of it and I am elated to know what I was going through was real and legitimate. I could use a bit of advice if you wouldn't mind PM'ing me!

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  4 года назад

      Yeah I can try to offer some advice if I have some. Can you reach out to me on IG? There is no messaging capability here. :)

  • @gorgeous.akosua
    @gorgeous.akosua 4 года назад +3

    So much emotional and physical pain.

  • @WadelDee
    @WadelDee 3 года назад

    5:03 "I should be happy."
    Wow. This third-of-a-sentence hit home so much.
    I remember so, so many moments in my life when people told me: "Times are good! You are successful! Why are you so miserable?"
    And I just couldn't answer the question because I didn't know! I couldn't think of any reason that would justify me being miserable! So I concluded that my feelings were just wrong somehow...

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  3 года назад

      It's weird. It's like society is gaslighting you in that instant.

  • @jossiechavez7594
    @jossiechavez7594 5 лет назад +17

    It is a good thing you found yourself at the end. Self love is much needed with girls like us.

    • @grlbydesign
      @grlbydesign  5 лет назад +2

      Self love is crucial for us to succeed in this situation. You're so right!!