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I just watched the movie Enders Game and I wish they would have had a sequel to that. Unfortunately it bombed. Which I thought had an alright story. 7/10 for me...
Funny that Doug jokes about that, Sony Animation and Adam Sandler were seriously considering at one point to do a Tonka Trucks film. And before you ask, yes, Happy Madison Productions was going to be involved. Thankfully AND luckily, it never happened.
they made reference to it with one of the Missouri crewman saying "they ain't gonna sink this Battleship" Though it is interesting how he includes the line "what is the difference between a battleship and a destroyer?" early on, and yet himself cannot recognize the difference when he calls the Destroyer a Battleship, therefore not recognizing that the Missouri is in fact the only Battleship in this movie, and it was said Battleship that would win the day. Hell, one could even ignore the game tie-in, and instead gather that the title was a reference to how the hero ship of the movie was a Battleship, not a Carrier or Destroyer.
@@rogue7723 Pearl Harbor is just disrespectful in general. Meanwhile I just got Tora Tora Tora on Blu-Ray, and it was AMAZING. They did an outstanding job remastering it, and it is definitely worth seeing on a massive screen.
I actually enjoyed the movie version of the game. That version had one of the boards actually had an alien theme, with custom pieces that were distinct from the human pieces. The set also came with a card based gameplay mode if you wanted a twist for Battleship. So, yes, the movie based on a game is beaten by the game based off the movie based on a game.
Well, considering the one Battleship in the movie becomes the hero ship of the movie,... why sink it? Just for the line? And one of the veterans did say something similar - "they ain't gonna sink this battleship, no way" It should be noted that no video game adaptations of the game Battleship include the words "you sunk my battleship" either. They'll just say "Battleship sunk" or "Carrier sunk" or "Destroyer sunk" etc. And we DID see a lot of sunken Destroyers in this movie.
Oh, one other thing I actually did like about this film in addition to the Combat Veteran actor: As someone whose grandfather was at Pearl Harbor when the Japanese bombed, I was happy to see how the movie showed the friendship we have today with Japan. This was, for me, a symbol of peace and unity. The Japanese Maritime Self Defense Force and the US Navy are very close allies, and to see that portrayed on film for once was a good thing.
You don't do things like "Plaza Accord" (forcing to devaluate your currency relative to their at gunpoint) to "friends" and "allies". Those kinds of relations should mean some sort of bilaterality, some sort of equality in decision-making. Americans all-time in their analytics yap about "US leadership", how important and benevolent it is, using arguments similar to aging dictator of some African state persuading masses why they should keep him in power despite all failures and being increasingly out-of-touch. They want to order other states around while being above the ties and responsibilities, be above all others. They don't have "allies" - only protectorates and puppet states. When the US decides to some crazy adventure - like invading Iraq, their "allies" have no say in this matter, their duty is just to listen and obey their "all-wise" (in the perception of Washington elites) master orders and do as they told.
Yeah, I noticed that too. I was kind of expecting Hopper and the Japanese guy to find themselves standing over the historical marker on the Missouri. Japan actually surrendered onboard that ship, which is why they moored it next to the Arizona Memorial.
my favorite Simpsons joke is finally relevant: Navy Recruiter: "Here at the Navy, we have a three pronged recruitment process. Subliminal, Bliminal and SUPERliminal" Lisa: "Superliminal?" *Lenny and Carl walk by* NR: "Yes, I'll demonstrate" *Looks at Lenny and Carl* NR: "HEY YOU, JOIN THE NAVY" Lenny: "Eh, alright I don't have anything going on today" Carl: "Okay"
@@mr_lrb6879 hmph, I have the strongest urge to join the Navy right now and I just can't put my finger on why....I think I might call a recruiter tomorrow morning
@@Rynn21 Some people will rant about politics in every conversion no matter how irrelevant it is, they just dont understand that it makes them as bad as the people they criticize.
@@Rynn21 Because the current president crawled out of that cesspool, once known as, the American Entertainment Industry. Rapists, liars and frauds as far as the eye can see.
I was in the Navy and deployed to Asia when this movie came out. There is so much wrong with the portrayal of Navy operations, but we all watched it anyway because it is a kind of fun time passer.
"There's a ton of Hasbro properties that could be easily adapted into a movie" (Shows My Little Pony) - Ok my friend, we need to talk about some things......
Well, considering the first animation made of it was Rescue at Midnight Castle, in which a demon centaur with a bag of pure darkness that transforms the ponies into hellbeasts tries to bring on an eternal night, I'd say they could make something interesting of it. And seriously, why the heck has the Critic never touched that gem?
@@broEye1 Fun fact. Hasbro and Paramount actually work on that. First movie from planed shared universe (for reminder Hasbro technically already has it, including canon crossovers with Marvel) would come out in this year. It would include reboots of Micronauts, MASK, Rom and Visionaries. Plus there are plans for more unrelated properties in the future including new Power Rangers, Transformers and MLP movies.
I’d like to think there’s an alternate universe where an actual good director used the Battleship license to make a movie about two opposing admirals in a war that have a deep respect for each other despite being enemies, and the entire movie is all about the war tactics and there’s not a single action sequence and yet it remains a wonderfully thrilling masterpiece. Instead we got this piece of shit.
We don't even have to go so complex, make a movie where some kind of EMP knocked out the ships's radars so they had to do the battle the old-fashioned way.
Check out the anime Legend of the Galactic heroes. Follows that exact premise. It's set in space but the space battles are treated almost exactly like naval battles.
Also funny story, they wanted the "crew" that shows up at the end was supposed to be the ghosts of the men who originally served aboard the ship, but they cut the scene because it was believed to be "too weird."
Marcel Zachary ?? He’s talking about Twister: the sex party game. Not the movie Twister, where Bill Paxton’s character successfully hides the limited mutant powers his mother, Storm, passed down to him; while he continues to gaslight his ex into believing the tornado that hunted down her father was natural.
I mean, to be fair, when people think of leadership skills, I can guarantee lieutenant's don't come to mind, they're generally disliked by lower enlisted and other officers for a reason. He was probably able to somehow bullshit his way through officer candidate school and never got higher than lieutenant because of his lack of leadership skills
Yeah, there wasn't many redeeming moments in this movie, but that whole scene (plus the one with the vets getting the ship combat-ready) contain the entirety of them. Definitely at least worth finding the clip on RUclips XD
@@ashleytuchin7693 Nope. No joke. From IMDB: "What had started as a simple game of UNO! turned into a psychological horror. Coworkers are driven to the edge of madness as they commit to a game of Uno. "
I watch NC all these years. Because of him, I started to learn English. I remember the first movies which I needed to translate by myself. I am so sad that I will never meet you because I lived in Netherland but you need to know that you are my hero and thank you for all these years and I hope that you will never end. I love to watch you all and thank you for all this hard work.
@@ChannelAwesome Next Nostalgia Critic Reviews Suggestions: Re-Animated The Addams Family 2019 with Lucy Loud jokes Marmaduke Arctic Dogs RV with Robin Williams Holmes and Watson Air Bud Push Doogal The Bratz Movie
No comment on how the aliens show a surprising amount of restraint, clearly try not to harm non-combatants and just generally don't really feel like an aggressive invasion force at all? That's like the one interesting and redeeming feature of the movie!
But they don't do anything with it in this movie. It might have been a good twist ending, like they were rebels running from a war that was on their planet and now they are trying to defend themselves from what seems like another war
It could be like first contact with the aliens in Ender's Game - their species introduces and asserts itself by making a limited test of its war capability against ours, and think nothing of it because individual lives aren't a big deal for them.
Yeah, my dad actually has a theory for what they were going for with that. The aliens were just responding to mankind's message, and were forced to retaliate because humans attacked them first. It explains so much of their behavior, and probably should have been covered in a sequel. Which, expecting a sequel for a Battleship movie was pretty darn arrogant.
I enjoyed the film, you kinda know what you’re getting into when radio waves translates to laser beam and the fact ships were carrying live ammunition for a war game. Plus the entire film is basically trying to make the audience feel proud to be American, which enhances the enjoyability for none Americans as we just pointed and laughed at it.
Lmao, who tf is going to feel proud to be American while watching Battleship? Michael Bay is infamous for his military propaganda, but his interpretation of Pearl Harbor was more insulting than anything else, and the Transformers films hardly make me feel patriotic. The Autobots save the world time and time again when they really have no obligation to do so, (and lose several of their own in the process...) Yet throughout the majority of the franchise the U.S government acts as an antagonist whose constantly labeling them as the enemy and willing to trust and make deals with the actual enemy
It kind of writes itself, in a way. Two navies locked in battle, many hits and near misses leading to a final standoff, the last ship getting taken out shot by shot and firing blind in the desperate hope that the enemy will keep accidentally firing in the wrong places and take it out as slowly as possible. Much better than some knockoff Independence Day plot with Michael Bay aliens.
After reading some of the comments, here’s my rough, alternative take on how Battleship should have been: Two kids (brother and sister) were playing Battleship. After sister wins, brother accused her of cheating and they fight. Their mom breaks up the fight as their grandfather comes in. Their grandfather, who was a World War II veteran, gathers the kids and tells them a war story at sea. As he continues his story, the camera focuses on the battleships and then the scene transitions to real battleships. The Allied and Axis battleships fight each other at sea. Then, in a twist, an unidentifed alien ship destroyed ships on each side. The admirals make a shaky alliance to destroy the alien ship. The admirals on each side have respect for each other. In reference to the Christmas truce of World War I, we hear the sailors of both sides sing Silent Night. ______________ Maybe the filmmakers should have taken a page from the LEGO Movie and Princess Bride.
@@sasir2013 It could easily be something non-generic, like a huge fog bank rolls in, and the enemy fleets can't see each other. Which ties in with the having to blind-fire, and listen for the impact sounds to know if they hit the enemy ship, etc. I think a multi-ship naval battle, in full pitched fog, with no visibility to the enemy fleet, would make for a cool movie.
@@kedolan4992 or indeed just a relatively ordinary but well-made cool naval war movie works too haha, Battle Of The River Plate is probably my own favourite
Scientist: "If we're ever going to contact extra-terrestrial life, the whole conversation would probably have to take place using electromagnetic radiation over many years." Bay: * Imagines giant death lasers *
To be honest due to diffraction of the laser beam, to reach another star it would be needed to have enough power to it that it WOULD be a death laser near the emitter point.
Actually, a Guess Who movie where a Seven like serial killer is on the run, with only a handful (30) of suspects. The killer puts the detectives through Die Hard 3 style games, each success allowing them to ask a yes or no question about themselves, slowly ruling out suspects. I'd watch that.
You want a Battleship movie, setting in WW2 in the Atlantic Ocean. Germany tries a new super weapon by melting icebergs to create a large, dense sea fog. An intense cat and mouse game ensue. Allied vs. Axis ships slowly duking it out for dominance. There a way better movie in 5 minutes of brainstorming vs. Michael Bay. But can you do better, or improve my concept?
I gotta give credit where its due...I actually liked how they shoehorned in the board-game mechanics by forcing them to have to fire blind at sonar pings or whatever they were.
I'm hearing a lot of people saying that Michael Bay had nothing to do with this movie. That somehow makes this movie worse. As if someone was so inspired by Michael Bay's style and directing that they thought that they could duplicate it and get great results.
Exactly! Michael Bay should not be an inspiration to anyone! The weirdest part is, the director of this garbage has directed great films before, like Patriots Day (with Mark Wahlberg).
I really liked that Bill and Ted twist. Imagine, a director made such a grandiose movie only to become an introduction that Bill and Ted is coming back.
You know, when I think of Battleship being a movie, I think of a WWII epic based in the Pacific after Pearl Harbor. I do not think of weird Aliens and modern craft
I think that trying to shoehorn references to a board game into a period piece would have cheapened it. And if they don't shoehorn references to a board game into the movie, then it's not a Battleship movie. It pretty much HAD to be modern, but it probably should have been a satire, not a blockbuster. You know, something like Hot Shots or Police Academy, but with boats. Maybe starring Andy Samberg?
@@LordMoonshadowGaGa the problem is, if you make an actual historical drama, you want to use the name of the war, battle, or some applicable term like "Tora, Tora, Tora" What they could have done however is have two fictional nations, divorce any politics from the discussion, instead just show the difference in strategy and how culture affects their planning (one side naturally aggressive, or more methodical), and how the battle progresses through thick Fog of War. This way, you don't have a clear "these are the heroes and these are the bad guys" and therefore no clear indication of who will win. This means you will need protagonists on both sides. You can even end with mutual respect between captains, like in "The Enemy Below"
Producer: "So what's the next block-buster we're ganna make?" Director: "Well, I was thinking of making a movie based on a nostalgia board game". Producer: "Really? I mean...kids are kinda into Mario and X-Box stuff...". Director: "But look at Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Those shows and toys have been around for decades, yet still continue to get popular. If they can do it, so can this game!" Producer: "....Okay....I guess I see you're point. So what game is this based on?" Director: "Battleship!" Producer: "....Battleship?" Director: "Battleship!" Producer: "Okay....I guess we could work around it. I mean, we do have military ships and plenty of stories based on historic battles at sea". Director: "Nah, kids don't care much for history or the many real lives who sacrificed their lives out at sea. They wants explosions! Machines! Awesome high-tech weapons!" Producer: "....Okay...I suppose that could work...maybe it'll be an action thrilled story of two great powers who want control over the sea". Director: "Nope...they're aliens!" Producer: "Aliens?" Director: "Aliens. It sounds cooler that way. MORE EXPLOSIONS AND MACHINES."
To be fair, I've known some Lieutenants that couldn't be trusted to lead a cafeteria line in a proper direction. Officers are not always the best, sometimes they're just what floats to the top.
I do agree that the wounded warrior/vet was my favorite part of the film. He’s like the terminator; an embodiment of the fighting spirit of the brave men and women overseas who serve to keep us safe, or so that we aren’t forced to serve in a draft. Easily the most inspiring character and actor in the film; the ONE truly heartfelt part of the movie.
A few months ago I went and spent a week with my grandparents, and my grandpa looked for an hour trying to find this movie online to watch it with me. He told me about a disabled friend that loved how this movie depicted that lifestyle. He was really disappointed that we couldn’t watch it together, and he told me to watch it the first opportunity I got. A week or two after that visit, he passed away. Then about a month goes by, and this video gets released. I had almost entirely forgotten about this little film. Thank you so much for covering it, even if it isn’t the same as actually watching
"It's like an old Buick, just put the key in and it starts right up." As someone who has driven an old Buick for 3 years of high school, I have some arguments with that statement.
@@jemofthe80s18 It could work but it would have to take the tongue-in-cheek approach the original Clue movie did. That's the only way I see such a movie working.
I would like a dnd movie imagine a movie with mythical creatures on a quest except they argue and second guess themselves and go on very long journey but they get distracted by side quest to get more money and and each of them are different creatures and want different goals from the quest but since they do the campaign for so long so they become friends and decide to go on more campaigns so each campaign is tougher and each one is a sequel to the movie and we can have it narrated or this could be a tv series and each season is a campaign idk it seems like a cool idea
@@Adambobadam They did a DnD movie once. Holy Hell! Was that movie awful! Perfect example of how NOT to do DnD on a movie screen!! They need a second one, just to cover over the appalling memory of that first one!
Remember in Ender's Game, where he thought he was playing a game but the ships he was using were actually real ships with real people that died because of his choices? That was somehow a better Battleship movie than Battleship.
I mean if they wanted aliens so badly why not just go Battleship: In Space. Then you don't have to worry about humans and can creatively make up any alien species and cultures that you want. At least then there would be more interesting visuals to watch.
The problem is, to have it be a true war story, you either have to make it a historical film (in which case it is better to use the actual war or battle name, like Midway), or include a real world nation as the enemy (and who would that be? Any choice you make is going to negatively impact global box office, so Hollywood clearly can't do that) or have fake nations instead of real ones (which deprives Michael Bay of his "AMERICAAAAA, FUCK YEAH!" fetish). Now I'm all for the idea of showing a proper war strategy movie between two fictional nations, divorcing the politics from it entirely and making them both appear equal but different so you actually have no idea who's going to win. You can also still end with a mutual respect between commanders, like in "The Enemy Below" Meanwhile I just got Tora, Tora, Tora on Blu Ray, think I'll go watch that.
@@k1productions87 Yeah, the only argument I would have to that is that non-American war does happen. Wars occurred long before America existed-there's plenty of non-American material to draw on. Even with completely made up nations politics can still be involved too, you just get to decide what the important politics are to the made up nations and it can be as stupid and petty as you want it to be. "They think the sky is purple!" "They think the sky is orange!" "So you declared war on each other?" "YES!" And yeah, spirits forbid we go one day without muttering "AMERICAAAAA, FUCK YEAH!" Michael Bay did leave the country at some point didn't he? He's seen other nations? "The Enemy Below"-This I can agree with. That movie was far more interesting and that was the 1950's. Tora, Tora, Tora? Haven't heard of it. I'll have to check it out.
@@RooftopRose079 Tora Tora Tora is a classic in the best sense of the word. The most accurate and faithful recreation of the events of Pearl Harbor ever put to film, AND told from both the US and Japanese sides, with different film crews for each. So no nationalistic grandstanding, it was just to chronicle what happened, how, and why. From a movie standpoint, it can drag a little. There are no real "characters" just performances of people from history. But from a film perspective, it is incredible,... especially when the attack happens.
Within the genre of alien invasion films, I always found this movie was interesting because these aliens didn't really want conflict, and mostly used non-lethal responses to being attacked. Humans were mostly the aggressors here
We need more of those films you've joked around about in the opening skit. Oh, I almost forgot, audiences and critics have sunken Michael Bay's battleship very quickly.
As far as I think, The Rock, Pearl Harbor, Bad Boys 1&2, Armageddon, The Island, Pain & Gain, 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi and 6 Underground doesn't have that.
3:20 He’s joking but in all seriousness; a friend and I actually played a game of battleship that last 3 hours. We still don’t know how or why the game lasted so long.
"Despite having a high budget, this movie looks and sounds like it was directed by the Chart Guys" I would pay good money to see a movie, or at least a short film, directed by the Chart Guys, make it happen Channel Awesome!
NO! THIS MOVIE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN MADE IN THE FIRST PLACE! THE GAME WAS NOTHING BUT: "A2, MISS. G6 HIT. YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP!" THAT'S IT! HOW DO YOU MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF THAT!? YOU DON'T! MOVIES LIKE THIS MAKE ME GLAD FOR THE CORONAVIRUS!
How did this guy even get in the Navy, much less become an officer and then go from Ensign to Full Lieutenant in less than 4 years. Especially with a criminal record.
As a veteran, seeing the montage with the old timers in this movie was the most satisfying thing ever. It was so badass. The rest of the movie was meh...
SNL, Get in the Cage with Nicolas Cage Hungry Hungry Hippos: A rogue marble that escapes from Hell, to exact revenge on the Hippos that killed his daughter.
11:24 Dude talking to probably aliens: “This is the US Navy warship John Paul Jones attempting to communicate with you.” Me, yelling to no one that can hear me: “They don’t speak English!!”
For all we know, they might have learned some English: we've been broadcasting signals out into space for ages now. It's possible that any galactic space faring race could've put together at least a bare-bones translation of some of it, and might be able to attempt to communicate with us. Either way it's better than just boating up to them, saying nothing, and then climbing onto their ship.
NC says soccer Me a European: ITS FOOTBALL you kick a ball with your foot that's why we call it FOOTBALL Why do you call the sport where you have an ball in your hands football and and the sport where you actually have to use your feet soccer Explain pls
Soccer was used as a short verison of "association football". It just stuck. And what we call "football" was originally called "gridiron". I don't get it either. Gridiron sounds much cooler.
I was actually looking forward to hearing Liam Neason growling out the line "You Sunk My BATTLESHIP!" It would have been the highlight of the movie and worth the price of admission in the same way Clash of the Titans had him say "Release the KRAKEN!".,... But the moment i heard that never happens... is the moment i realized this movie wouldn't be worth my time.
I like the idea of something happening that renders all modern tech useless, thus making the protagonists resort to surviving WW2 or Nam weapons. Also a good way to avoid the military breathing down your neck about showing their secrets or making their ships look bad when they could wipe out a small country in a week.
18:27 Nooooooooooo...more like: "Whadda ya need, son?" "I need to borrow your boat." "Then you, as a $&*^&$ NAVY man, should know BETTER than to call it a BOAT!" *SLAP*
I love the inaccuracies of this movie. Like CIWS working or them slowly moving the 5 inch. Without the alien knowing or the Gunnersmate that's apart of VBSS and GFCS operator.
I enjoy this movie when I consider it as an alien "first contact" mission gone terribly wrong due to a mindless hotheaded officer getting command. :D I mean think about it - the aliens lose their radio/communications ship, they don't know how to proceed with talking to the natives, then some idiot opens fire on them from a boat (notice how the aliens do not shoot the ships until being fired upon). Then several times in the movie, we see the aliens leave people alive and ignore non-combatants, to their detriment. I tell you, this was basically a botched Starfleet style first contact, the aliens also just wanted to get instructions from home later, not bring an invasion - their military commander even cordoned the area in a forcefield so to limit encounters! But they all died because muscle-brained "MUUUURICA!!!!" idiots in the army and navy decided to shoot at intelligent life instead of trying to communicate
I thought that too until they systematically wiped out our primary infrastructures. Just like a real military invasion of a foreign land they are trying to take.
What would be the best board game movie?
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Review Barnyard (2006).
Definitely Clue.
Interesting
Review Phineas and Ferb The Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension.
Clue (1985)
And "You sunk my Battleship," was never uttered in the film. Lots of things getting blown up though. This film was truly a bomb.
Yeah. Still liked how the alien bombs were shaped like Battleship pegs.
@@benwasserman8223 Why were they shaped like pegs?
They kind of did, one of the Veterans said "They ain't gonna sink this battleship, no way.
Thank god that it was at least in "The Addams Family." Not really sure if that is adequate
I just watched the movie Enders Game and I wish they would have had a sequel to that. Unfortunately it bombed. Which I thought had an alright story. 7/10 for me...
Okay, I swear Twister the movie would be the most insane body horror film
Or a porno.
Or a movie about weather scientists and killer tonado
@@ASTERON-io7wh I guess point made
@@BEESNIFFER3000 how can I forget, it's the best part
@@appleWhisky43 ahh yes great movie still got the VHS of it
"Sony's Adam Sandler Candy Land Film"
None of those words should be put together in any way, shape, or form.
Well, thank God it never took off.
Funny that Doug jokes about that, Sony Animation and Adam Sandler were seriously considering at one point to do a Tonka Trucks film. And before you ask, yes, Happy Madison Productions was going to be involved. Thankfully AND luckily, it never happened.
but I do wish they made a good "candy land" movie
How about “Thank God, Adam Sandler never made a film about Candy Land”
Wait that’s real.
The worst thing about this movie is that at no point does anyone actually say "You sunk my battleship" You know Neeson should've had that line!
literally unwatchable
Goddamn horseshit!!! NEVER watching this movie!!!
they made reference to it with one of the Missouri crewman saying "they ain't gonna sink this Battleship"
Though it is interesting how he includes the line "what is the difference between a battleship and a destroyer?" early on, and yet himself cannot recognize the difference when he calls the Destroyer a Battleship, therefore not recognizing that the Missouri is in fact the only Battleship in this movie, and it was said Battleship that would win the day.
Hell, one could even ignore the game tie-in, and instead gather that the title was a reference to how the hero ship of the movie was a Battleship, not a Carrier or Destroyer.
At least this movie is more respectful to veterans and soldiers than the Pearl Harbor movie.
@@rogue7723 Pearl Harbor is just disrespectful in general.
Meanwhile I just got Tora Tora Tora on Blu-Ray, and it was AMAZING. They did an outstanding job remastering it, and it is definitely worth seeing on a massive screen.
Ah yes, The Battleship movie. The board game movie that when you watch it, you immediately want to play the board game instead.
Better than playing the Battleship video game based on this movie.
I don't know about I mean I thought the movie was actually pretty cool I mean true it's not the best movie ever made but it's not bad
@@alexconn7473 What did you think of Rihanna?
The boardgame rules
I actually enjoyed the movie version of the game. That version had one of the boards actually had an alien theme, with custom pieces that were distinct from the human pieces. The set also came with a card based gameplay mode if you wanted a twist for Battleship.
So, yes, the movie based on a game is beaten by the game based off the movie based on a game.
Fun fact: They actually ripped the convenient store break in scene from a real life video where a guy broke into a liquor store.
That sounds illegal. Or like it should be.
@@MoisesCharles i mean, it was hilarious
no way, t=yiu cant make that shit up
No way, man! I don't believe it. That'd be awesome, but I don't think they did.
@@welon17 believe it, it was what we used to call a viral video back in the day...
"Boomer...is retiring this joke." We, the fans, refuse to let you.
Y'know, these days, it probably just means the guy in the helmet was a boomer.
I forgot that was about a dog and thought it was a pun. 😂
Doesn't matter. You don't write the content and don't shoot or edit the video.
I never liked the boomer joke. I'll be glad when it's gone for good.
Because Boomer will live, right?
RigHT??
Connect Four: The Movie was an alternate title for The Human Centipede.
Fucking nice. I give props for this comment, that's clever 👍
[begrudging giggle]
Wow. Just... Wow. 😳 👏
You made me laugh harder than anything in this review!
Connect Four... people to ye ass.
To quote CinemaSins: Nobody in this movie says "You Sunk My Battleship"
Well, considering the one Battleship in the movie becomes the hero ship of the movie,... why sink it? Just for the line? And one of the veterans did say something similar - "they ain't gonna sink this battleship, no way"
It should be noted that no video game adaptations of the game Battleship include the words "you sunk my battleship" either. They'll just say "Battleship sunk" or "Carrier sunk" or "Destroyer sunk" etc. And we DID see a lot of sunken Destroyers in this movie.
I better go check that out if he has ever made the video.
@@k1productions87 agree
Ding
Also What dose aliens have to do with battleship
Uno: The Movie is hands down the best movie adaptation of any game. It manages to genuinely capture the full frustration and despair that game evokes.
Remember all the PlusFours? Nightmares never ending...
Its time for a rewatch i think, its been about a year since i last saw it.
Here's lookin' at you
Wait is this an ACTUAL movie? Where do I find it!?
@@kayhaven4710 Just search Uno:The Movie in RUclips.
A monopoly movie would be just a bunch of guys buying crap for two hours
That's shorter than most monopoly games
It would be like a PG version of There Will Be Blood.
Or an elaborated scheme by a group of friends who try to rise to the top of the capitalist system, framing and betraying each other along the way
Let’s see here, the Company Men, Wall Street, Network. Not bad a premise honestly.
You want a good monopoly movie? Watch game grumps play it.
All I can think of with those "enemy scrotums" is "Why hasn't Michael Bay made a Bay Blade movie?"
Don’t give him ideas
I won't lie, I kinda want to see Bay's interpretation of an anime.
@@martinhodges572 Oh hell no he better not make Attack on Titan my favorite anime show
He even tries One Piece and he’s getting his explosive, chrome, pretentious ass.
Ah, "Bay" Blade, I see what you did.
Oh, one other thing I actually did like about this film in addition to the Combat Veteran actor:
As someone whose grandfather was at Pearl Harbor when the Japanese bombed, I was happy to see how the movie showed the friendship we have today with Japan. This was, for me, a symbol of peace and unity. The Japanese Maritime Self Defense Force and the US Navy are very close allies, and to see that portrayed on film for once was a good thing.
It was definitely a stand out moment out of an otherwise uninteresting movie.
You don't do things like "Plaza Accord" (forcing to devaluate your currency relative to their at gunpoint) to "friends" and "allies". Those kinds of relations should mean some sort of bilaterality, some sort of equality in decision-making.
Americans all-time in their analytics yap about "US leadership", how important and benevolent it is, using arguments similar to aging dictator of some African state persuading masses why they should keep him in power despite all failures and being increasingly out-of-touch. They want to order other states around while being above the ties and responsibilities, be above all others. They don't have "allies" - only protectorates and puppet states. When the US decides to some crazy adventure - like invading Iraq, their "allies" have no say in this matter, their duty is just to listen and obey their "all-wise" (in the perception of Washington elites) master orders and do as they told.
Yeah, I noticed that too. I was kind of expecting Hopper and the Japanese guy to find themselves standing over the historical marker on the Missouri. Japan actually surrendered onboard that ship, which is why they moored it next to the Arizona Memorial.
The WWII vets being the ones to take the aliens down was cool, but not enough to justify a 2 hr long slog and sound fest.
my favorite Simpsons joke is finally relevant:
Navy Recruiter: "Here at the Navy, we have a three pronged recruitment process. Subliminal, Bliminal and SUPERliminal"
Lisa: "Superliminal?"
*Lenny and Carl walk by*
NR: "Yes, I'll demonstrate"
*Looks at Lenny and Carl*
NR: "HEY YOU, JOIN THE NAVY"
Lenny: "Eh, alright I don't have anything going on today"
Carl: "Okay"
YVAN EHT NIOJ.
@@mr_lrb6879 hmph, I have the strongest urge to join the Navy right now and I just can't put my finger on why....I think I might call a recruiter tomorrow morning
@@zachmcnamara4376 Tell them you want to go undesignated.
I got to tell you there's never a dry Moment In The Nostalgia critics review
You got that right no where in a review do i feel like passing out in the middle of it
@@westallen2383 i do that's why I watch it.
yup
"Do you need small brains to write small talk?"
It's been working Hollywood so far.
@@Rynn21 Some people will rant about politics in every conversion no matter how irrelevant it is, they just dont understand that it makes them as bad as the people they criticize.
@bigevilworldwide1 Do not call Trump autistic; that is an insult to people who actually have autism.
@@RIlianP its so annoying.
@@Rynn21 Because the current president crawled out of that cesspool, once known as, the American Entertainment Industry. Rapists, liars and frauds as far as the eye can see.
bigevilworldwide1 Umm, don’t disrespect Trump! He’s done more good than bad as President!
Nobody:
Hasbro:"What if we made a Battleship movie .....but with ALIENS!!!!"
Huh?
There's actually an alien version of the boardgame.
@@TheSonOfTheDragon that was based of this film.
Nobody:
Overused RUclips comments be like
nObOdY:
*something generic about the video*
Don't forget the Battleship video game they made based on the movie.
I was in the Navy and deployed to Asia when this movie came out. There is so much wrong with the portrayal of Navy operations, but we all watched it anyway because it is a kind of fun time passer.
Same here, and I was on 2 DDGs, half the interior shots were obliviously not inside a real DDG
Thanks for sharing this dude.
Could've been watching worse, I guess
I was actually on the Cvn 76 Rhianna actually was on our aircraft carrier during RIMPAC to see what Navy life was like
They could have said “ let’s see why this movie was a real sinker
*sighs and likes comment*
Aight, I'm not going to lie.
That was a top-tier pun.
It was a Rudder failure
Puns are the lowest form of comedy
😂
"Terminator Langoliers" is a hilarious joke, that deserves way more than an offhand comment.
yeah its funny and suprisingly accurate
True.
Where's that movie?
@@Charles-rp4vs You don't want to know..
@@Charles-rp4vs I'd watch it
"Even the news looks like it was edited by ten monkeys." Okay, original and funny. Two points. :)
"There's a ton of Hasbro properties that could be easily adapted into a movie"
(Shows My Little Pony)
- Ok my friend, we need to talk about some things......
Well, considering the first animation made of it was Rescue at Midnight Castle, in which a demon centaur with a bag of pure darkness that transforms the ponies into hellbeasts tries to bring on an eternal night, I'd say they could make something interesting of it. And seriously, why the heck has the Critic never touched that gem?
the critic mentioned it
You wrote it
And We we’re all thinking about it my frend :)
@@broEye1 Fun fact. Hasbro and Paramount actually work on that. First movie from planed shared universe (for reminder Hasbro technically already has it, including canon crossovers with Marvel) would come out in this year. It would include reboots of Micronauts, MASK, Rom and Visionaries. Plus there are plans for more unrelated properties in the future including new Power Rangers, Transformers and MLP movies.
broEye1 Yeah 🤔 given how often hi talks about TMNT in the past. One would think hid be willing to talk about more 80’s shows
How about a good D&D movie with a budget? No? Well, at least we got Jeremy Irons having fun.
I’d like to think there’s an alternate universe where an actual good director used the Battleship license to make a movie about two opposing admirals in a war that have a deep respect for each other despite being enemies, and the entire movie is all about the war tactics and there’s not a single action sequence and yet it remains a wonderfully thrilling masterpiece.
Instead we got this piece of shit.
Holy shit, that would be so good! Like, we'd only see the battle as movement on their maps, and all real action would happen inside their flagships.
We don't even have to go so complex, make a movie where some kind of EMP knocked out the ships's radars so they had to do the battle the old-fashioned way.
I actually like Peter Berg as a director...it just needed to be produced by someone other than Michael Bay.
@@MrKlausbaudelaire Forget the EMP blast - set it in early WWII, or just before. Most ships didn't have targeting radar at that point anyway.
Check out the anime Legend of the Galactic heroes. Follows that exact premise. It's set in space but the space battles are treated almost exactly like naval battles.
Also funny story, they wanted the "crew" that shows up at the end was supposed to be the ghosts of the men who originally served aboard the ship, but they cut the scene because it was believed to be "too weird."
I about died laughing at Twister: The Movie followed by a steamy shower scene with a big green NC-17 logo pasted over it.
I like Twister so I wouldn't call it bad just strange for it's time.
Marcel Zachary ?? He’s talking about Twister: the sex party game.
Not the movie Twister, where Bill Paxton’s character successfully hides the limited mutant powers his mother, Storm, passed down to him; while he continues to gaslight his ex into believing the tornado that hunted down her father was natural.
@@GoatPopsicle Well that was such an obvious twist.
@@TheGuardDuck Such an obvious TWIST-er!
Wait, Green? Aren't all NC-17 trailers Red Band?
In hindsight "Mouse Hunt" should have been called "Mouse Trap"
I used ti call it that when I was a kid, because of the game
I mean, to be fair, when people think of leadership skills, I can guarantee lieutenant's don't come to mind, they're generally disliked by lower enlisted and other officers for a reason. He was probably able to somehow bullshit his way through officer candidate school and never got higher than lieutenant because of his lack of leadership skills
Well when the movie says 'Lieutenant' do they mean a full Lieutenant (O-3) or a Lieutenant (JG) (O-2)? It's never specified.
Never underestimate the power of a good bullshiter, they can go to high places
Anyone who thinks LTs have leadership skills has never had one lead landnav
I’m sorry, but when that old guy yells to “drop some lead on those motherf-“, I smile ear to ear each and every time I see it.
Yeah, there wasn't many redeeming moments in this movie, but that whole scene (plus the one with the vets getting the ship combat-ready) contain the entirety of them. Definitely at least worth finding the clip on RUclips XD
Say about the movie what you will, but it had its moments.
@@CIoudStriker i still like the movie.
it has a battleship with rapid fire 16 inch guns.
ヘ(￣ω￣ヘ)
The monopoly man coming out of the ocean like a kaiju with his ass-whooping cane is legitimately terrifying.
All the soldiers looking up at him saying, “I thought he wore a monocle.”
"Did I hear right, am I in a BattleShip Movie, like the Game?"..I lost my shit , funny as hell.
I'd just like to remind everyone that 'Uno: The movie' is a thing.
A thing that exists.
Wait...you're kidding, right? Right?
@@ashleytuchin7693 Nope.
No joke.
From IMDB:
"What had started as a simple game of UNO! turned into a psychological horror. Coworkers are driven to the edge of madness as they commit to a game of Uno. "
@@SonOfmowgef Wtf
So basically just a game of uno
The whole movie is on youtube, over 2 and half hours of hilarious madness.
"Everyone wants to go home but no one wants to lose"
I watch NC all these years. Because of him, I started to learn English. I remember the first movies which I needed to translate by myself. I am so sad that I will never meet you because I lived in Netherland but you need to know that you are my hero and thank you for all these years and I hope that you will never end. I love to watch you all and thank you for all this hard work.
+ Kath111 Thank you for watching us and the kind words!!! Your English is amazing!
Teacher:Why do you want to learn english?
Him: Nostalgia critic
@@ChannelAwesome wow, you responded, thats pretty dope
@@ChannelAwesome Next Nostalgia Critic Reviews Suggestions:
Re-Animated
The Addams Family 2019 with Lucy Loud jokes
Marmaduke
Arctic Dogs
RV with Robin Williams
Holmes and Watson
Air Bud
Push
Doogal
The Bratz Movie
Actually could someone make Guess Who? Into a noir thriller cause I would totally watch that.
Well, there is a Clue movie starting Tim Curry.
No comment on how the aliens show a surprising amount of restraint, clearly try not to harm non-combatants and just generally don't really feel like an aggressive invasion force at all?
That's like the one interesting and redeeming feature of the movie!
But they don't do anything with it in this movie. It might have been a good twist ending, like they were rebels running from a war that was on their planet and now they are trying to defend themselves from what seems like another war
It could be like first contact with the aliens in Ender's Game - their species introduces and asserts itself by making a limited test of its war capability against ours, and think nothing of it because individual lives aren't a big deal for them.
Yeah, my dad actually has a theory for what they were going for with that.
The aliens were just responding to mankind's message, and were forced to retaliate because humans attacked them first.
It explains so much of their behavior, and probably should have been covered in a sequel.
Which, expecting a sequel for a Battleship movie was pretty darn arrogant.
So... you’re saying their from that same planet with those Predator aliens?
@@h.rtheater8321 I think you described district 9
Forces a guy into the military. Get's mad when the said guy is bad at the job.
It's vietnam all over again
i can actually assure you that's about a solid 89% of all officers in the navy
What belongs to "get"?
Sounds like the military all right
I enjoyed the film, you kinda know what you’re getting into when radio waves translates to laser beam and the fact ships were carrying live ammunition for a war game. Plus the entire film is basically trying to make the audience feel proud to be American, which enhances the enjoyability for none Americans as we just pointed and laughed at it.
Lmao, who tf is going to feel proud to be American while watching Battleship? Michael Bay is infamous for his military propaganda, but his interpretation of Pearl Harbor was more insulting than anything else, and the Transformers films hardly make me feel patriotic. The Autobots save the world time and time again when they really have no obligation to do so, (and lose several of their own in the process...) Yet throughout the majority of the franchise the U.S government acts as an antagonist whose constantly labeling them as the enemy and willing to trust and make deals with the actual enemy
Funny thing is, I've played Battleship games that had a more interesting story than this!
It kind of writes itself, in a way. Two navies locked in battle, many hits and near misses leading to a final standoff, the last ship getting taken out shot by shot and firing blind in the desperate hope that the enemy will keep accidentally firing in the wrong places and take it out as slowly as possible. Much better than some knockoff Independence Day plot with Michael Bay aliens.
@@pentelegomenon1175 All while in a constant state of fog.
I didn't hit a single thing the last time I played.
After reading some of the comments, here’s my rough, alternative take on how Battleship should have been:
Two kids (brother and sister) were playing Battleship. After sister wins, brother accused her of cheating and they fight. Their mom breaks up the fight as their grandfather comes in.
Their grandfather, who was a World War II veteran, gathers the kids and tells them a war story at sea. As he continues his story, the camera focuses on the battleships and then the scene transitions to real battleships.
The Allied and Axis battleships fight each other at sea. Then, in a twist, an unidentifed alien ship destroyed ships on each side. The admirals make a shaky alliance to destroy the alien ship. The admirals on each side have respect for each other.
In reference to the Christmas truce of World War I, we hear the sailors of both sides sing Silent Night.
______________
Maybe the filmmakers should have taken a page from the LEGO Movie and Princess Bride.
Or, and hear me out here... We just skip the whole "alien invasion" thing and just let the naval battle play out, and that's the movie.
@@kedolan4992 then you are missing the grandpa intention, and making a generic battle
@@sasir2013 Generic battles could be awesome from the soldier's perspective.
@@sasir2013 It could easily be something non-generic, like a huge fog bank rolls in, and the enemy fleets can't see each other. Which ties in with the having to blind-fire, and listen for the impact sounds to know if they hit the enemy ship, etc. I think a multi-ship naval battle, in full pitched fog, with no visibility to the enemy fleet, would make for a cool movie.
@@kedolan4992 or indeed just a relatively ordinary but well-made cool naval war movie works too haha, Battle Of The River Plate is probably my own favourite
Everyone Else: "Nooo! You can't just enjoy this trashy film!"
Me: "Haha, dumb movie go brrr."
“What’s your name?”
“I’m hungry”
“.....is that African?”
It sounds Persian to me, like Omar Khayyam.
"No, it's Hungarian."
@@catdogmousecheese "I'm half Welsh, half Hungarian. You could say I'm Well Hung"
@@davidjames579 Yang Xiao Dong
Is that supposed to be funny?
Scientist: "If we're ever going to contact extra-terrestrial life, the whole conversation would probably have to take place using electromagnetic radiation over many years."
Bay: * Imagines giant death lasers *
To be honest due to diffraction of the laser beam, to reach another star it would be needed to have enough power to it that it WOULD be a death laser near the emitter point.
A laser IS electromagnetic radiation.
Maybe that's the real reason the aliens showed up, we death stared their new planet.
I mean, he got the "elecromagnectic radiation" part right.
It's Michael Bay..he imagines taking a dump as giant death lasers.
Actually, a Guess Who movie where a Seven like serial killer is on the run, with only a handful (30) of suspects. The killer puts the detectives through Die Hard 3 style games, each success allowing them to ask a yes or no question about themselves, slowly ruling out suspects. I'd watch that.
I was in the Navy when this came out... As a sailor on a destroyer this movie was way funnier. So many things were wrong or just silly.
Would love to watch a group of servicemen tear into this film in a lets watch.
@@HeilRay yeah but what they do is hoot and cheer as aliens get blown to shit.
Such as? Can you give any examples?
Same here, especially the interior shots lol
Clearly the best battleship movie ever made was “Down Periscope” all about a single player and his sub against a player that still had all their ships
Not "Hunt for Red Octobah"? Shawn Connery playsh ash a Rushan Captain, shpeaking Rushan while Alec Baldwin shitsh in hish pantsh.
I love Down Periscope, it's hilarious!
Well just to be serious for a minute I'd say The Enemy Below, Das Boot, Battle Of Midway or Battle Of The River Plate would actually be the best
@@berry186 but yeah Down Periscope IS hilarious haha, probably the best naval comedy ever made
I was wondering when someone would mention that gem of a movie.
You want a Battleship movie, setting in WW2 in the Atlantic Ocean. Germany tries a new super weapon by melting icebergs to create a large, dense sea fog. An intense cat and mouse game ensue. Allied vs. Axis ships slowly duking it out for dominance. There a way better movie in 5 minutes of brainstorming vs. Michael Bay. But can you do better, or improve my concept?
I wasn’t expecting an operation joke to make me struggle to breath for five minutes...
Though, technically Weird Al did a music video . . . 😜
*BEEP*
Actually, that is a pretty accurate description of a LT.
lol only navy people get how retarded Lt's can be
@@michellebrown7714 To be fair, lieutenants (and other officer ranks) in any branch can be ridiculously retarded
@@michellebrown7714 haha you really think it's JUST a navy thing?
Navy Lts have two bars insignia? If not for the NC, I'd just assume he was a captain. Or is lt. commander like infantry cap?
@@Alkinski Two silver bars is a Commander in the Navy. One silver bar is a Lieutenant.
The Grim Reaper: "You have sank my Battleship!"
Bill and Ted: "EXCELLENT!!! Yeah!"
to be honest. i think the chart guys' script would actually be ten times better.
I THINK CORONAVIRUS IS LOOKING SEXY RIGHT ABOUT NOW!
B-but the chart says...
@@randomdude-4353 *throws chart away*
@Sub I don't know. Sonic and #TheSnyderCut are looking good. ... I'd have to 98% agree with you on that. ;')
I gotta give credit where its due...I actually liked how they shoehorned in the board-game mechanics by forcing them to have to fire blind at sonar pings or whatever they were.
Alerts from tsunami buoys (which are real).
And I think the full title would be:
BATTLESHIP: Aliens, never play it against humans, they _cheat!_
You have an amazing talent for making hilarious quips about basically anything. Glad to see youtubers are keeping a dying art form alive.
If only we could have more of that and less of the awful skits.
@@Kektus1I agree with you, slightly.
If done right they can be funny
Seeing that there's not as many anymore, well for now atleast.
I'm hearing a lot of people saying that Michael Bay had nothing to do with this movie. That somehow makes this movie worse. As if someone was so inspired by Michael Bay's style and directing that they thought that they could duplicate it and get great results.
Exactly! Michael Bay should not be an inspiration to anyone! The weirdest part is, the director of this garbage has directed great films before, like Patriots Day (with Mark Wahlberg).
"The island is under attack!"
"Whose attacking?"
"People are using the word alien!"
"Were being attack by people saying alien?"
I really liked that Bill and Ted twist. Imagine, a director made such a grandiose movie only to become an introduction that Bill and Ted is coming back.
You know, when I think of Battleship being a movie, I think of a WWII epic based in the Pacific after Pearl Harbor. I do not think of weird Aliens and modern craft
Yeah, when this film came out, that was my thought. “This should been a historical drama.”
I would've liked a Battleship movie having to do with the sinking of the IJN Yamato
I think of sink the bismarck
I think that trying to shoehorn references to a board game into a period piece would have cheapened it. And if they don't shoehorn references to a board game into the movie, then it's not a Battleship movie. It pretty much HAD to be modern, but it probably should have been a satire, not a blockbuster. You know, something like Hot Shots or Police Academy, but with boats. Maybe starring Andy Samberg?
@@LordMoonshadowGaGa the problem is, if you make an actual historical drama, you want to use the name of the war, battle, or some applicable term like "Tora, Tora, Tora"
What they could have done however is have two fictional nations, divorce any politics from the discussion, instead just show the difference in strategy and how culture affects their planning (one side naturally aggressive, or more methodical), and how the battle progresses through thick Fog of War. This way, you don't have a clear "these are the heroes and these are the bad guys" and therefore no clear indication of who will win. This means you will need protagonists on both sides. You can even end with mutual respect between captains, like in "The Enemy Below"
"Guess Who the movie" is just Criminal Minds
Producer: "So what's the next block-buster we're ganna make?"
Director: "Well, I was thinking of making a movie based on a nostalgia board game".
Producer: "Really? I mean...kids are kinda into Mario and X-Box stuff...".
Director: "But look at Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Those shows and toys have been around for decades, yet still continue to get popular. If they can do it, so can this game!"
Producer: "....Okay....I guess I see you're point. So what game is this based on?"
Director: "Battleship!"
Producer: "....Battleship?"
Director: "Battleship!"
Producer: "Okay....I guess we could work around it. I mean, we do have military ships and plenty of stories based on historic battles at sea".
Director: "Nah, kids don't care much for history or the many real lives who sacrificed their lives out at sea. They wants explosions! Machines! Awesome high-tech weapons!"
Producer: "....Okay...I suppose that could work...maybe it'll be an action thrilled story of two great powers who want control over the sea".
Director: "Nope...they're aliens!"
Producer: "Aliens?"
Director: "Aliens. It sounds cooler that way. MORE EXPLOSIONS AND MACHINES."
To be fair, I've known some Lieutenants that couldn't be trusted to lead a cafeteria line in a proper direction. Officers are not always the best, sometimes they're just what floats to the top.
hollow things do tend to float...
@@trazyntheinfinite9895 Especially when they're full of hot air.
I do agree that the wounded warrior/vet was my favorite part of the film. He’s like the terminator; an embodiment of the fighting spirit of the brave men and women overseas who serve to keep us safe, or so that we aren’t forced to serve in a draft. Easily the most inspiring character and actor in the film; the ONE truly heartfelt part of the movie.
Gregory D. Gadson is a real wounded solider and retired a full bird Colonel. Lost his legs in Iraq. Dude is real bad ass.
A few months ago I went and spent a week with my grandparents, and my grandpa looked for an hour trying to find this movie online to watch it with me. He told me about a disabled friend that loved how this movie depicted that lifestyle. He was really disappointed that we couldn’t watch it together, and he told me to watch it the first opportunity I got. A week or two after that visit, he passed away. Then about a month goes by, and this video gets released. I had almost entirely forgotten about this little film. Thank you so much for covering it, even if it isn’t the same as actually watching
"It's like an old Buick, just put the key in and it starts right up." As someone who has driven an old Buick for 3 years of high school, I have some arguments with that statement.
I thought that was the joke.
Only that the missouri regulary DOES INDEED take a little walk, and is well cared for. Unlike your high school lazy ass and his old buik.
I would love to see "Connect 4, the movie". And in all honesty, "Guess Who" could make for a good movie. They could make it a murder mystery.
@@jemofthe80s18 It could work but it would have to take the tongue-in-cheek approach the original Clue movie did. That's the only way I see such a movie working.
For Frodo. Four score... FOR-EV-ER
@@brianc3761 I just got done watching that special for the tenth time last night:):) Connect Four!
I'm waiting for an animated film adaptation of _Candy Land._
@@jemofthe80s18 Cool thanks :)
"Battleship" gets a half-assed movie adaptation.
Meanwhile, fanboys everywhere are STILL waiting on a film adaptation of Magic: The Gathering!!...
Mtg the movie would probably be ass too
I would like a dnd movie imagine a movie with mythical creatures on a quest except they argue and second guess themselves and go on very long journey but they get distracted by side quest to get more money and and each of them are different creatures and want different goals from the quest but since they do the campaign for so long so they become friends and decide to go on more campaigns so each campaign is tougher and each one is a sequel to the movie and we can have it narrated or this could be a tv series and each season is a campaign idk it seems like a cool idea
YEP STILL
shindari That would actually be a good movie.
@@Adambobadam They did a DnD movie once. Holy Hell! Was that movie awful! Perfect example of how NOT to do DnD on a movie screen!!
They need a second one, just to cover over the appalling memory of that first one!
Remember in Ender's Game, where he thought he was playing a game but the ships he was using were actually real ships with real people that died because of his choices? That was somehow a better Battleship movie than Battleship.
The book was great! I barely remember watching the movie.
That would have been a much better Battleship movie
Yeah really, FestArc. Ender's Game is a fantastic military movie.
@@adamgray1753 I like books better, but I like the idea of the movie.
Content Blocked well him and J.K Rowling have that in common.
Monopoly: The Movie.
*made by Disney*
Nice one!
Oh no. Wait, why am i suprised or shocked?
Don’t give them any ideas
Do not pass go
Do not collect $200
No a documentry
This actually could've been a good idea, turning the board game Battleship into a movie. But instead of aliens, why not base it on a true war story?
I mean if they wanted aliens so badly why not just go Battleship: In Space. Then you don't have to worry about humans and can creatively make up any alien species and cultures that you want. At least then there would be more interesting visuals to watch.
The problem is, to have it be a true war story, you either have to make it a historical film (in which case it is better to use the actual war or battle name, like Midway), or include a real world nation as the enemy (and who would that be? Any choice you make is going to negatively impact global box office, so Hollywood clearly can't do that) or have fake nations instead of real ones (which deprives Michael Bay of his "AMERICAAAAA, FUCK YEAH!" fetish).
Now I'm all for the idea of showing a proper war strategy movie between two fictional nations, divorcing the politics from it entirely and making them both appear equal but different so you actually have no idea who's going to win. You can also still end with a mutual respect between commanders, like in "The Enemy Below"
Meanwhile I just got Tora, Tora, Tora on Blu Ray, think I'll go watch that.
@@k1productions87 Yeah, the only argument I would have to that is that non-American war does happen. Wars occurred long before America existed-there's plenty of non-American material to draw on. Even with completely made up nations politics can still be involved too, you just get to decide what the important politics are to the made up nations and it can be as stupid and petty as you want it to be. "They think the sky is purple!" "They think the sky is orange!" "So you declared war on each other?" "YES!"
And yeah, spirits forbid we go one day without muttering "AMERICAAAAA, FUCK YEAH!" Michael Bay did leave the country at some point didn't he? He's seen other nations?
"The Enemy Below"-This I can agree with. That movie was far more interesting and that was the 1950's.
Tora, Tora, Tora? Haven't heard of it. I'll have to check it out.
@@RooftopRose079 Tora Tora Tora is a classic in the best sense of the word. The most accurate and faithful recreation of the events of Pearl Harbor ever put to film, AND told from both the US and Japanese sides, with different film crews for each. So no nationalistic grandstanding, it was just to chronicle what happened, how, and why.
From a movie standpoint, it can drag a little. There are no real "characters" just performances of people from history. But from a film perspective, it is incredible,... especially when the attack happens.
@@k1productions87 Wow, sounds fascinating. I'll definitely have to watch it then. I do love when war isn't depicted as simple good vs evil.
Michael Bay had nothing to do with this, but that's the only real surprise.
Within the genre of alien invasion films, I always found this movie was interesting because these aliens didn't really want conflict, and mostly used non-lethal responses to being attacked. Humans were mostly the aggressors here
Non lethal ? I wouldn’t say giant balls of death destroying any technology including bridges that people were on isn’t leathal
Well, this is a Michael Bay film.
We need more of those films you've joked around about in the opening skit.
Oh, I almost forgot, audiences and critics have sunken Michael Bay's battleship very quickly.
"Close up of mechanical things that go *nyaowoeooiwkjvnjwdvcbsdbhkb!*"
Literally sums up every Michael Bay movie ever.
To be fair, that's the only good part of a Michael Bay movie.
As far as I think, The Rock, Pearl Harbor, Bad Boys 1&2, Armageddon, The Island, Pain & Gain, 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi and 6 Underground doesn't have that.
You forgot to add "kissing military boots and making scientists and educated people uncool and dumb".
there is a quote that can perfectly sum up Bays movies
"it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing"
Your comment have more likes, IMO.
Michael Bay had nothing to do with this
6:13 Are we all just gonna pretend "World's Larget International Maritime Exercise" didn't slip past the proofreading phase...
I was the person in the theater actually excited for the scene where they play battleships with the tsunami buoys.
Probably one of the few scenes I actually liked...
oh god i realized about 8 minutes into this thing that Doug's real life dad was in the navy soooo this must be extra fun for him
I think he's having Pearl Harbor flashbacks. Not the actual Pearl Harbor, the Michael Bay movie that he reviewed years ago.
3:20 He’s joking but in all seriousness; a friend and I actually played a game of battleship that last 3 hours. We still don’t know how or why the game lasted so long.
Sounds like you hit only empty space and couldn't recover. Each and every time you put in a coordinate, nothing. Not even grazing the ships.
Hey, remember when Robot Chicken made fun of Hungry Hungry Hippos getting an movie.
I didn't see that clip
That was an awesome clip
Li Dragonwolf oh god show me
ruclips.net/video/LHna6sfTUZE/видео.html
For those that are curious.
Li Dragonwolf what funnier is that trying to start a battleship will take months or a year their museum ship the engine need to be rebuild for startXD
"Despite having a high budget, this movie looks and sounds like it was directed by the Chart Guys"
I would pay good money to see a movie, or at least a short film, directed by the Chart Guys, make it happen Channel Awesome!
Charts: the Chartening!
Malcolm without his giant bead necklace was the scariest part of "The Game of Life" trailer. lol
If only they'd made this movie from the actual veteren's point of view. That guy was great to watch and actually had an engaging story.
Or the retired museum curators. I would have watched a movie about them.
NO! THIS MOVIE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN MADE IN THE FIRST PLACE! THE GAME WAS NOTHING BUT: "A2, MISS. G6 HIT. YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP!" THAT'S IT! HOW DO YOU MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF THAT!? YOU DON'T! MOVIES LIKE THIS MAKE ME GLAD FOR THE CORONAVIRUS!
That goes without saying.
8:20 Hearing Liam Nelson talking on other guys having a particular set of skills- just doesn't sound right.🤔
I guess this was before he retired his very particular set of skills
How did this guy even get in the Navy, much less become an officer and then go from Ensign to Full Lieutenant in less than 4 years. Especially with a criminal record.
As a veteran, seeing the montage with the old timers in this movie was the most satisfying thing ever. It was so badass. The rest of the movie was meh...
When I first saw those old timers slow walking into camera frame my first thought was, “oh yes, they’re about to open a can of whoop ass”.
Thank you for your service!
SNL, Get in the Cage with Nicolas Cage
Hungry Hungry Hippos: A rogue marble that escapes from Hell, to exact revenge on the Hippos that killed his daughter.
i'm still rooting for Taylor Kitsch. he's handsome and he is a good actor. i love John Carter
Try reading the book, it’s waaaaay better.
20:08 Please don't retire the Boomer joke. It's a classic.
Just wait for another movie with an animal that’s alive at the end.
The Boomer joke will live
SAME HERE!!! I love it every time! Same with "FUCKING BUBBLES!"
11:24 Dude talking to probably aliens: “This is the US Navy warship John Paul Jones attempting to communicate with you.”
Me, yelling to no one that can hear me: “They don’t speak English!!”
For all we know, they might have learned some English: we've been broadcasting signals out into space for ages now. It's possible that any galactic space faring race could've put together at least a bare-bones translation of some of it, and might be able to attempt to communicate with us. Either way it's better than just boating up to them, saying nothing, and then climbing onto their ship.
if the aliens could build a ship that went faster then light then they would be able to decipher at least one language from earth.
Kedolan Ok fair!
I cant help but love the cheese in some part of this movie. Old folks yeeting metal boulders at aliens? YEAH!
What about Risk: The Movie
That could be something promising
iam waiting for tic tac toe and connect the dots the movie
Risk movie is basically civilization the movie.
Just watch Waterloo
Axis & Allies, oh wait
No no, Settlers of Catan movie!
At 7:45 there is a missed opportunity for Tommy Wiseau's "You're Just a Chicken chip chip chip!"
@@diggerfan9319 Idk about that, given how she earned a Rasberry for this movie.
@@Slayer3239 But was that really her fault, or was it because the movie was, well... this.
NC says soccer
Me a European: ITS FOOTBALL you kick a ball with your foot that's why we call it FOOTBALL
Why do you call the sport where you have an ball in your hands football and and the sport where you actually have to use your feet soccer
Explain pls
Soccer was used as a short verison of "association football". It just stuck. And what we call "football" was originally called "gridiron". I don't get it either. Gridiron sounds much cooler.
If we wanna be nitpicky, "football" isn't a single sport, but a classification of ball sports where the players are on foot.
The word soccer originated from England actually
It's sad when the crews of "Down Periscope" and "Operation Petticoat" are more competent than these guys and gals.
Great movies!
Forget that! The crew of Gilligan's Island is more competent than these people!
For one, no one gets out of boot camp as a lieutenant.
wstine79 It’s sad when Down Periscope is a more faithful Battleship movie than the actual Battleship movie.
I was actually looking forward to hearing Liam Neason growling out the line "You Sunk My BATTLESHIP!" It would have been the highlight of the movie and worth the price of admission in the same way Clash of the Titans had him say "Release the KRAKEN!".,...
But the moment i heard that never happens... is the moment i realized this movie wouldn't be worth my time.
This movie wasn't worth lubricated horse shit in the first place!
Speaking of Clash of the Titans. If/when NC that movie, I hope he references the 1981 original.
I like the idea of something happening that renders all modern tech useless, thus making the protagonists resort to surviving WW2 or Nam weapons. Also a good way to avoid the military breathing down your neck about showing their secrets or making their ships look bad when they could wipe out a small country in a week.
18:27 Nooooooooooo...more like:
"Whadda ya need, son?"
"I need to borrow your boat."
"Then you, as a $&*^&$ NAVY man, should know BETTER than to call it a BOAT!" *SLAP*
lol only navy people will get that joke
Yeah Submarines are boats, that right there is a ship and you should respect it as such.
I’ve never served in the military, and even I know that’s a ship - not a boat.
Only exception I can think of to this is aircraft carrier crew and pilots, who almost exclusively call it "the boat"
Nope. Its called a boat by the crew that sail her
"Battleship impressed few critics and audiences" It impressed me that *anyone* was impressed
Such a shame such amazing effects went to such a bad movie.
I love the inaccuracies of this movie. Like CIWS working or them slowly moving the 5 inch. Without the alien knowing or the Gunnersmate that's apart of VBSS and GFCS operator.
I enjoy this movie when I consider it as an alien "first contact" mission gone terribly wrong due to a mindless hotheaded officer getting command. :D I mean think about it - the aliens lose their radio/communications ship, they don't know how to proceed with talking to the natives, then some idiot opens fire on them from a boat (notice how the aliens do not shoot the ships until being fired upon). Then several times in the movie, we see the aliens leave people alive and ignore non-combatants, to their detriment. I tell you, this was basically a botched Starfleet style first contact, the aliens also just wanted to get instructions from home later, not bring an invasion - their military commander even cordoned the area in a forcefield so to limit encounters! But they all died because muscle-brained "MUUUURICA!!!!" idiots in the army and navy decided to shoot at intelligent life instead of trying to communicate
I thought that too until they systematically wiped out our primary infrastructures. Just like a real military invasion of a foreign land they are trying to take.
Hasbro: "If talking robots and ponies can sell well, let's try making ships successful!"
My theory is that they used aliens in this just so they could market a version with alien ships.