The Special Girl Trope - Moving Beyond a Male Creation
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- Опубликовано: 20 май 2024
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Our stories’ most iconic “special girls” like Twilight’s Bella or 50 Shades of Grey’s Anastasia are singled out as different from everyone else - but why? The "special girl" often follows a common pattern that makes makes her unique, and her story proves that true love makes us all special.
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Videos like these are so therapeutic.
I would love to pitch you guys something: The manly man trope, and how he isn't always toxic. Examples: Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec, Wayne from Letterkenny, Dean Winchester from Supernatural, Coach Eric Taylor from Friday Night Lights, Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock
Thanks for letting us know about Wren! Excited to check them out. I'm always looking for ways to help the environment. I stopped eating meat and dairy too!
I’d love the Special-Girl-Trope be smartly-covered by having an Ability-User/Magic-Caster be hailed for being the Wife or Girlfriend of Someone who has an Ability that is strong by itself but absolutely Worldshattering with her Ability in Combi,
but when he dies people (and herself) suddenly realize that her Ability was just never all that great.
She was just good in Combination and did not think much about her Ability, which is always a Mistake.
👎👎👎🤢
I only now realise that the poor girls in the fairytails who are noticed by royalty would realisticly have been misstresses and not wives
Real princesses were basically treated like bargaining chips. You wouldn't have wanted to be one.
I have written a tale about that.
@Sara Bee Prettiness did not matter at all.
@@colleenclement474 oh yes you would have. If the worst thing in your life is that you don't get to choose who you marry, that's a pretty blessed life (even by modern standards). Back then the life of a poor woman would have been laborious and exhausting, with a high chance of sickness and starvation.
True, but marriage was seen very differently back then and being a mistress may actually have been advantageous to some women.
the “special girl” is the equivalent to y/n in wattpad stories. they’re relatable because that’s what the average girls are, so they can imagine themselves as the “special girl” and dream of having the “special guy” when they’re just regular like everybody else
What’s y/n? Yes/No?
@@jasonvargas7564 Your name
@@kamsismith oh, so like fill in the blank with your name as the main character or the “object of desire”?
@@jasonvargas7564 Yes
@@kamsismith got it. Thank you 😊
I think most young girls and women alike read fiction to be put in the shoes of a "special" girl. It's transports them out of school work, or job stress or a lack-luster life and into a character that is in the center of all the interesting drama, passionate romance, etc.
365 Days 🥰
Agreed, it's a wish fulfilment trope at best, and works for escapism.
I’m surprised this even needs to be said when the roles are reversed. The average guy making off with the extremely attractive woman trope has been a thing for ages and all men know why. It’s for a similar reason to what you explained
@@osmosisjones4912 ?
If you’re referring to me you misunderstood my comment. Wish fulfilment is a large part of cinema. Both for men and women. So I’m surprised when when enjoy that aspect of cinema it even needs to be pointed out
Too many times the only thing "special" about the special girl is that the "special boy" likes her. She has no personality or interests or anything (see: Bella Swan, Anastasia Steele) but we are expected to believe she's special simply because the main guy likes her. Or, even worse, she's the object of a love triangle so she MUST be special. That's just lazy writing.
This should be called the Y/N trope, that could explain the lack of personality.. cuz most of the stories where this "Special girl" shows up.. is fanfiction made to insert yourself on the story, thats also why the guy is super special too, he's pure fantasy
Twilight was a Fanfiction about Gerard way.. 50 shades was a Fanfiction about twilight, the protagonist having no huge personality was on purpose, she doesn't even have a name sometimes..
Is not lazy writing, its amateur and basic but not lazy...
Agreed. This "special" girl has to be basic so that the females who read/watch this content can place themselves in the story. It's almost like relateable-adjacent 🤭
It's lazy, but it's also very successful pandering to women. It aint boys who made the authors of 50 Shades or Twilight rich.
bella does have a personality pls the narrative was unreliable bc we're viewing bella from her eyes. she's actually extremely kind, empathetic and protective and i will die on this hill for miss isabella swan
yikes read the book
Remember, Bella from Twilight wasn't created by a male with a fantasy. That's all on the author who saw herself as Bella.
I don’t think the special girl is a male fantasy at all. It’s the female fantasy of overcoming misogynistic stereotypes men often hold about women when dating (ex. women are shallow, care too much about appearance, don’t have significant hobbies, can’t follow any “masculine” topics)
I feel like this 'y/n' type of stories are made for 12-15 year group since I used to love those stories as a teen, now as a 21 woman I find those stories unappealing is just seems so forced and toxic
Bella is nothing
@@ninjanibba4259 and yet the Take uses Bella and Anastasia as perfect examples of the special girl. And both of them were godawful written characters.
Women are not immune from writing bad fantasy characters
This trope is so problematic. It molds young girls to feel they should sacrifice everything when the first hot dude in their way tells them they're "not like other girls".
We really need more realistic, Jane Austen "they fell in love because they were compatible + good circumstances" type love stories.
Young girls are already molded to sacrifice everything for a guy that makes them feel special. Society has nothing to do with it. It's called hormones, and young guys go through the same thing. Art imitates life, not the other way around.
but lizzie bennett was a total special girl who liked BOOKS
@@seabreeze4559 actually Liz didn't like books, not at all. She was smart, but she didn't liked books... and she wasn't special, not because of a guy, she was brilliant and sassy, but also quite arrogant and didn't care a lot for anybody, but her older sister (not even so much). Her and Darcy just grow fond of each others thanks of compatibility and circumstances as Mag Ma wrote.
@@eMMex2art but even Darcy said he felt in love with her because she wasn’t like others. She was the first girl who didn’t accepted a dance and that she contradicted him. She was a "special girl"
It creeps me out when men try to tell me I'm special. I've heard it a million times and it's nothing more than a pickup line.
The thing about Belle and Cinderella is that they at least had personalities. Belle was a bookworm, she was polite but firm, adventurous, honorable, and curious. Cinderella was a dreamer, a little snarky, responsible, and kind.
I was waiting for this comment-
But the implication there is than literally no other girl in their world has a personality. That's a problem. You're telling me not one other woman in Belle's village had a hobby or was nice to people? That Cinderella alone had the ability to daydream and care about others?
@@katharineeavan9705 Cinderalla went beyond your perfunctory niceties or social façades in interactions. She was a victim of constant abuse since childhood, mistreated her whole life, stripped of the minimal affection needed for the healthy development of any human, deprived of dignity. Yet she choose radical kindness, compassion and mercy. And I mean compassion in the first sense of the word as partaking in the suffering of others. She remained soft despite having every reason to turn hard and gnawrl her teeth at the world. She was graceful, funny, had a positive outlook, but also insanely clever and resourceful, which she had to be to survive and thrive. Also in the live action Cinderella is clearly educated and cultured in spite of her humble position (she knows French, well read) and has a fine taste in fashion and is well mannered. And how many mfs can talk to rats?
snarky 😂 good choice of adjectives!
@@katharineeavan9705 well, it’s very clear that in the village just two people are bookworms, Belle is one of them
Old joke, but still funny: If you remove the love triangle from the Hunger Games, it is still a story of a totalitarian state and a children fighting to the death. If you remove the love triangle from Twilight, it is just a story about a girl who moves to a town where it rains a lot.
EDIT: Firstly, thank you for the likes on this old joke I remembered, yet didn't come up with.
Secondly, to any of you who feel the need "to be fair" and remind me that Twilight is a romance and "bla bla and bla", it is a freaking joke. It fit into the context of the video. I don't care about the Twilight franchise, and it wasn't meant as a hit on it. It earned a duckload of money and gave the world many memes, but is still just surface level entertainment. No, it isn't about the native American tribe. No, it isn't comparable to The Great Gatsby. Yes, it could have done a million other things to give Bella a personality that wasn't just The Special Girl trope. If, you love the saga, then go ahead and do so. Please don't make anymore replies unless you actually bother to read all of the replies thus far and actually have something to offer the discussion. Just be advised that I will probably ignore your reply anyway, as I really have no passion for the subject.
But there's nothing wrong with that? Twilight is about romance and Hunger Games is about this dystopian system with some romance
@@EmyN There's nothing inherently wrong with a romance story, no, but all of the action in Twilight is dependent on Edward and Jacob, while Bella is just kind of there. At least Katniss has a story about herself. Bella could have had a character arch independent of two supernatural guys being unable to control themselves around her.
@@Spicie95 Well, again, Hunger Games wasn't just about romance, usually romance stories solely revolve around the couple anyway, it's not exclusive to Twilight, but yeah sure
But Hunger Games will still always be just a bad Battle Royale ripoff
@@91clarie Eh not really. I thought that too when I watched it the first time. Literally, after seeing the first Hunger Games movie, when my friend asked me what I thought, I said: 'well, it's just Battle Royale for kids'. But the story does evolve after the first one, and even after revisiting Battle Royale a while ago, aside from the concept of children being forced to fight to the death, and a few minor details (the use of danger zones in Hunger Games part 2), the stories go in very different directions. I'd say 'inspired by' Battle Royale, but it has too many original parts to be considered a rip-off.
Fifty Shades of Grey, a horrible attempt at making stalking and obsession seem sexy.
Should have taken notes from daddy Voldemort obsessing over Hairy Pooter instead 🥰
*Miraculous Ladybug enters the chat*
Stalking and obsession is ok if he's handsome and rich enough. Popularity of 50 shades and Twilight is the uncomfortable proof women choose to ignore.
And so was Twilight, let's be honest. Just because he didn't want to have sex with her doesn't make any of what he did okay.
@@TimXDDDD This is the issue, think about the following scenario for a second, what if yes the guy is rich and goodlooking, but the girl is bi and she already has a crush on another girl in class. No amount of money or good looks is going to change the girl's mind, she already likes someone else!
Irl it's even more complicated because yes there could be nothing wrong with you and she's still not interested because there is no chemistry. Now let's move over to the real way this would play out, the guy is sick and needs a therapist, yet he feels entitled to this random woman's body and affection. He believes that he must be near her all the time "to protect her" (That's how he justifies it to himself) and she shouldn't reject him because she's making a huge mistake.
Every sick stalker is Edward Cullen or Christian Grey in their own head. I do blame E.L. James and Stephanie Meyer for making this bizarro romanticization of a really toxic trope something that teenage girls think they should aspire to. Because it's not, no girl wants a stalker period. No it doesn't matter that he's rich and goodlooking. The idea that someone is obsessed with you is scary, not romantic.
What they don't mention is that Anastasia is wearing "virgin" blue, when she first meets Christian and changes into plum/ red after they had sex. Fascinating symbolism.
Yup. She was also wearing a white shirt. But after the sex, she started wearing a black dress.
How is that fascinating?
@@itsybitsy999 Llight blue is associated with the virgin Mary in art. Look at renaissance paintings, you'll see she most often has a blue headdress/veil. Red is a bold colour and has general associations with sensuality. Dressing a character in a certain colour can convey meaning in a way without need to verbally spell it out.
@@StrongImaginationA colour symbolism doesn’t make something fascinating. OP has to be joking lolololol
@@StrongImaginationA Yeah, I know. Blue = innocent, young, calm; red = sexual. How is that fascinating? If anything it's obvious and cliched.
This is what I'VE BEEN SAYINGGG. There are many male podcasters, and even some professors who says women like vampires, "monsters" or billionaires bad boys because their "maternal" insticts want to fix them. BUT NO, the appeal is that the protagonist is SO SPECIAL that the most desirable man only wants her.
Every woman wants to feel special, so these stories appeal to us. Not because of the guy, but how the protagonist seems to have it all without even trying.
you said it better. Thank you!
Not every woman.
Oh my gosh, I know exactly what professor you’re talking about. He has such Clickbait titles that make the topic seem interesting but he seems to have these very misogynistic and know it all opinions that just make women look stupid. Yes, the fantastical dream that a woman can be swept out of her normal average every day life because she, and she alone, is somehow special and regarded as more precious than everyone else.
don't be shy ...say the professor is Jordan Peterson
Maybe there's a lot of reasons why. Humans are complex and multifaceted.
"The most iconic 'special girls' like Twilight's Bella or Fifty Shades of Grey's Anastasia-"
Who's going to tell them they're the same person...?
Lol, I had the same thought!!
Perhaps the only thing I like about them is that they are introverts. Unfortunately, they reinforce a bunch of negative stereotypes about introverts.
Shut, I understand that reference.
The video was generally excellent, making many good points but it unfortunately starts out reading like an excuse to rag on Twilight and then doubles down by adding 50 Shades. I still contest that Twilight is a female led superhero origin story. Bella's immunity to Edward's mind reading isn't a mere lure to tempt him, it's the manifestation of her having the most powerful vampire ability in the story. In this respect she is actually special
I think they are aware of that 😅
Is because of this obsession of "being in love" and be the "special one" that a lot of woman fall in abusive relationship or fell at the trap of people like the tinder swindler. Most medias show attraction, passion and lust as love, when love require time, work and friendship, that's why Pam and Jim love story feels genuine.
Well said 👏👏👏
I’d love the Special-Girl-Trope be smartly-covered by having an Ability-User/Magic-Caster be hailed for being the Wife or Girlfriend of Someone who has an Ability that is strong by itself but absolutely Worldshattering with her Ability in Combi,
but when he dies people (and herself) suddenly realize that her Ability was just never all that great.
She was just good in Combination and did not think much about her Ability, which is always a Mistake.
@@slevinchannel7589 Bella when Edward leaves
@@tiffprendergast Have you seen the Transgender-Explained-Video by Professor Dave that just came-out?
Interesting!
I disagree on Dirty Dancing. Baby is well treated and loved, and in fact she's the golden child in her family. She is courted by a wealthy guy. Johnny doesn't magically fall for her. She actually annoys him, until they spend time getting to know each other. If anything, it's more of a manic pixie dream boy story.
Agreed.
Thought the exact same thing!
Yeah, agreed. It would've been more of a "special girl" story if it was about her sister Lisa. She's not really in favor of her father, her and her mother seem to be okay but also they don't have a great relationship. The waiter guy that's courting her just does so because his boss literally told him to. I think her story would be much more of a relatable thing than Baby's, at least in terms of special girl trope.
I love Baby ❤️
Jennifer Grey is also absolutely gorgeous!
Please cover the "One of the Girls" trope, where a guy prefers to hang out with solely girls. James from "Derry Girls" is probably the best known example, and it's even a plot point in one episode where he goes overboard in trying to make guy friends, and they end up thinking that he's sexist.
I second this
Well James really has no choice since he’s forced to go to an all girls school and he’s socially awkward so the only friends he has are his cousin’s friends by default. Wasn’t the whole constant bullying him about being into guys and being teased as being feminine the reason why he became insecure and had to “macho” himself up and ended up overcompensating and coming off really cringe dude bro?
Gene from Bob Burgers
Xander from Buffy.
That was kind of covered in the cool girl trope video
Notice how the special boy specialness has nothing to do with their love interest but rather their role in the world (aka mission or task think harry potter) , super power or character but with girls its because a highly desired man notices her
Well Harry always dated the most attractive girls in school, like cho chang was described "very beautiful" and Ginny was "very attractive" or "too popular"
Because men traditionally garner respect by performing great deeds and gaining great status as a result. Women garner respect by finding a high-status mate with whom to have children. Just like those tropical birds that have males building elaborate nests and the females coming and inspecting them before choosing the most impressive one. Catching a high status mate implies that you yourself are also naturally high status.
@@derek96720 that's bullshit traditions my friend
Aren't Katniss and Peeta the opposite of this? Katniss is the one who has an important role in the world, she is seen as highly desired because she becomes famous and Peeta becomes special to her because he loves her.
I think with cinderella, she gets a lot of hate for the wrong reasons.
She tries and tries and never gives up but gets treated badly. She only gets saved when she lost hope and gave up. Someone wanted to bring kindness to her in her time of need. That should not be a bad thing.
In another video of the Take or maybe another channel (i get them mixed up sometimes), they showed how Cinderella just wanted to be at the ball and have a fun night and than happened to meet the prince. She built a connection to him. This perspective helped me rethink mine.
I also noticed in the modern adaptations that she stands up for himself but it is in a mire gentle way except Danielle. She is more assertive. But it shows she is not meek and passive that people make her out to be.
Yes, you're right, this video is here on The Take and is one of my favs. Now I am slightly irritated by showing Cinderella here in this context
@Gabrielle Duplessis
I totally agree. They should check the facts
I love Ever After too. And yeah Danielle is extremely assertive and speaks up for herself and others. That's what I love about her character.
In fact I don’t think Cinderella is meek and passive even in the original disney film. She was born at a time when women couldn’t have a career and the only way to achieve some sort of “independence” and escape from abusive parents was through marriage. Finding a nice wealthy husband who would respect and support her to some degrees.
What else could a girl like Cinderella do? Reporting to the police that her step mum was treating her like a slave? At a time when slavery was probably still legal? And I don’t think child abuse and domestic violence counted as crimes back then.
So if I was Cinderella, I also wouldn’t rebel against my step mum and sisters. I would rationally act passive and meek until I find myself a husband. I would even intentionally try to get the prince to like me and marry me. That would be the ultimate “girl boss” move. Women in different time periods and cultures must find different ways to help themselves and save themselves. If marrying a prince was the best way, so be it.
@@HanQ28 yeah agreed.
Honestly, the "special trope" sells to *people who like to feel special* (who doesn't?). Even in superhero movies, there is the "special dude" which draws in men who want to feel special as well. This applies to all sides of the coin
Yep. The Everyman. Peter Parker/Spider-Man.
The Matrix/Neo, Star Wars/Anakin/Luke
Charles Xavier / X Men...
He's "special" and hea saving the world and that's why he keeps letting his girl down (even though he's secretly saving her life) and shirking all of his responsibilities-- it's because she has this invisible pressure on him that no one else sees or understands. I remember watching Spiderman and actually thinking, "this feels like an elaborate excuse to be a crappy boyfriend."
It's just about people who don't feel seen. They may feel insecure and don't show off. Everybody wants to feel seen and be valued by that one special person.
Yeah the whole virginal thing that older versions of this trope have kinda screwed me up a bit after I was sexually assaulted, they left me feeling like I was no longer special, or worthy of guys like Cinderella's prince. Eventually leading me to the thought process of "everyone already thinks I'm a slut so I might as well act like it" which of course just leads to the vulnerability of falling prey to even worse men.
I'm so sorry to hear that and at that same time glad you understand things better now. Wish you the best in future relationships
And this is it, right here. I love that this video took the positives of beliefs in one's specialness, but the Catholic Madonna-Whore nonsense is incredibly damaging to women.
Your worth isn't something that can be taken away. It is innate. It's part of who you are. You are still deserving of gentle, kind, sincere love.
You don't lose your value no matter what happens to you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Hope you are doing well now
Due to this damaging idea that the less a woman has sex the more special she is, this idea that we must keep out numbers down at all costs meant that got an entire fucking decade I blamed myself for my own gang rape, thought it was my fault for drinking (never mind I only had 2 drinks and the second drink was spiked), nope, still I blamed myself believed others who also blamed me, I was then called a whore, I then got bullied so bad at work I had to quit. Also due to the secondary trauma of not being believed and instead being shamed, I didn't seek trauma therapy for the rape but instead blamed myself, I then turned to drink for comfort only to meet my future partner in an AA meeting and thus a decade of domestic violence, homelessness, single motherhood, then losing said child. I was told by my ex that no one wants a woman who's been raped as I am now "damaged goods" so no one will want me and he said I was a whore became the rapes put my numbers too high, to my ex anything over 5 men is a whore and I have to include the rapes in my "numbers". This also led to my ex pretty much copying violent porn from pornhub cause I'm damaged goods anyway so he just treated like a disposable sex doll and then would tell me that no one will want me because of what he's done to me. He actually told me he will distroy me slowly. To tell you the truth, he didn't distroy me, he did a shit lot of damage, but what distroyef me was how society at large treated me after I fled the abuse, the police, social services, neighbours, my sons school teachers, the bitchy yummy mummy cliques at the school playground. I could go on. My ex also said that after the gang rape I should have killed myself because after that there was no hope but he said he loved me too much so I can't kill myself but he said that he wished I killed myself before he met me so that he wouldn't have the torture of falling in love with such a dirty whore like me.
Society still is crap at how we treat rape victims.
Oh man! Being taken and flown away by these tropes were my teenage years. Met the 'special' guy in my 20s who was 'desired' by other women but he 'chose' me. Only that he didn't. After a few months of a disastrous situation-ship with 'im a complicated man with a crazy past' I finally realised that the allure is fascinating, yet (surprise!) unrealistic. You are so engrossed in being 'liked' or 'loved' by that person that you settle for bare minimum and never ask yourself if this is what you want. Mostly, it turns out that those guys aren't 'special' in anyway🤭🤷
Exactly!
That’s it!
wow.. I've never seen this situation articulated so well.
Geesh. Reading the analytical comments on these trope videos is like therapy for me.
I'm the same! Turns out being treated specially (flowers, dates and being prioritized consistently) by the normal guy feels 10x better than being noticed by the special guy. This is based on my experience.
The special girl/protagonist never embodies any strong or polarizing traits. She’s never sexually motivated, financially motivated, career minded, political; always introverted and socially awkward or insecure … she’s vulnerable and she’s a blank slate.
Easily malleable in other words.
No, some of them are curious and like to learn.
@@antigonarosaura7845 they like books. every special girl likes books
@@ayatoculus So it is not only about fallling in love with the guy.
Yes in reality this girl is seen as weak and targeted by people who want to use and manipulate her to however they see fit.
The Ugly Girl Trope. She’s treated horribly by others (even by her own family) mainly because of her looks and she’s written to be unlikable and even creepy. Meg from Family Guy is a prime example.
Even though it's animated and nothing matters, I still felt really sick every time Meg was treated badly on the show. I didn't see a reason for it and it was always extremely cruel. Honestly, were I Meg, I would have committed suicide a long time ago (and the family probably wouldn't notice).
Ooooh i would love for someone with more knowledge than me to tackle Family Guy in this respect. My only guess is that it's Peter and Lois's hatred of each other and themselves, that they refuse to face and thus just project it onto Meg. After all, they are her parents, she must look like either or both of them.
@@victoriaa9933 In one episode, she gets a makeover and Peter says to her “Welcome to the family, sweetheart. Chris, go burn all of Meg’s old pictures.”
@@doughnuthead8757 I remember that one, is that where she briefly becomes a pop star?
@@victoriaa9933 Yup.
This is no different from the “Everyman trope” from Western entertainment and the “Isekai trope” in anime. At the end, it’s a self-insertion fantasy.
I wish this channel would cover anime more often. They usually have such interesting takes. Would love to see how they react to lollicon.
"You are already special because you were born into this world" - Carla Yeager
Tatakae
The special part being he already knew that for his world's cycle of hate to end he needs to act as the devil for the survivors to understand if we want to open an era void of hatred we must not repeat what causes him (Eren) to become the devil
@@jayvhoncalma3458 mate this line was spoken before any of that stuff happened. This was in S3P1. His mom said it. That he doesn't need to be anything else to be special
@@winifred5005 yea because 63 million and counting never got the chance.
You are special because you were not aborted
Just starting the video, but i see Katniss in the miniature: being the special "chosen one" if you want to say , is not because she was born special but because of her actions (volunteering for Prim, covering Rue in flowers in order to tell the capitol "she is a human being/just an inocent child) and i have always being more drawn for that kind of characters, that are defined by their actions and convictions . Inej Ghafa from the six of crows books even has a speech of how "not special girls" like her have to fight in order to find a place in the world (which, not intentionally, contrast with local special girl Alina Starkov ,who is the choosen one because she was (un)lucky enought to be born with the powers that were needed at the time) Edit: alright, i clearly got the trope wrong, but it took a lot of me to write the coment to i´ll leave it
It's funny that yes, Katniss "looks average" and is pretty bland like Bella Swann, in fact she even sometimes shoots herself in the foot (Metaphorically), it's her actions that ultimately make her the special person. There's no "predestined herosim and romance", just good ole "she chose this and she did that", and she F ed up too, which I like!
YESS INEJ GHAFA IS AMAZING
"But what about the nothings and the nobodies, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway."
Just like my one of my favorite lines in Bojack Horseman. "That's the thing. I don't think I believe in "deep down". I kinda think all you are is just the things that you do. "
Katniss has to be stoic and physically talented and DETERMINED! She barely needs food, rest, companionship. She really is very close to being a superhero.
She's more of a hero girl trope than an average girl.
Inej Ghafa supremacy!
My ex made me the "special girl” in the relationship. He did everything that I thought I wanted in a partner. I forced myself to look past all of the toxic behaviours like isolating me and telling me that he loved me when we had only known each other for less than a month. I questioned and hated myself for not being happy because I thought he treated me so well. When I went to friends and family for advice, I knew that I had to leave, not just for myself but for him too. I hope that my next relationship is a lot more healthy.
The same
Feel ya so much 🙃
FEEL you! Sad thing is, that he met me in a very vulnerable time of my life and was 8 years older than me. So I quickly became so dependent on him, that I wasn't able to leave for about 5 years although I was deeply unhappy. Glad that you managed to realize that earlier!
glad you got out and know that it was unhealthy
I too can relate. In Indian movies, this special girl is so evident man. Every guy tries to be a bollywood hero I have met.
The special girl is the y/n of fanfics. She is fun and relatable. Readers can often identify themselves with her and also dream to be her.
But bella swan and Anastasia steele aren't "fun". Bella judges the chirpy girls that wanna be friends with her and turns her nose up at them.
y/n also usually doesn't have friends because every girl in school is somehow bullying her and cares about wearing make up and dating when she doesn't.
She doesn't have any fun/excitement until the love interests bring it into her. And honestly, that is the only relatable thing about her. The wish that someone interesting would deem you cool enough to make boring highschool exciting for you.
What's y/n?
@@Hello-pp3hl "your name", wattpad has a lot of these self insert stories.
You can realte to them as long as you are skinny, perfect body, white and heterosexual. Like the trope is so defined that I never met a person that is like y/n. I don't think that the majority can relate to Y/N
I absolutely loved this. I am so empowered by these kinds of videos. I want to be the girl who is picked, chosen and loved, but I now understand that I should inherently feel special to myself and appreciate those who already find me special, albeit in a non-romantic way.
Absolutely!
That’s a great lesson to take away!
We should learn we are special without men. We do not need a man do make us a person, worthy or anything. We need do love ourselfs first, then we can love someone else and be reloved.
Indeed
❤️ yes it's marketing... The trope plays into a natural desire we all have to be wanted and loved. It's a normal instinct. Awareness of this can take you out of the daydream and let you understand real love.
One of the worst feelings I've ever had was when a guy made me feel like the 'special girl'. He bought me gifts all the time (stuff I didn't need OR want), could never do enough for me (even when I didn't ask him to), never let me criticize myself (even if I was being funnily self depricating), and NEVER disagreed with me (though he would sometimes contradict himself in the process). I felt like I was on a 100 meter pedestal and I KNEW I would let him down one day. Not because I'm awful, but because I knew he saw a fantasy, not the human with both good and not so good traits.
And I told him several times that it was a 'no', but he always clung on, and I always felt so awful for saying no---- like I had kicked a puppy---- so then I did the silly thing and kept him in my life longer than he should have been.
Many people around me thought I was a b*tch to not date him, that he had done all this stuff to 'prove how he felt' and yet I still said no, but I have zero regrets. I was never attracted to him because he wasn't attracted to his own soul and own self. I think he thought being with me, a perfectly average 'special girl' would somehow increase his own self-worth.
He is no longer in my life, and I'm happily married to a man who never puts me on a pedestal, but rather treats me like his equal, and if anything, THAT makes me feel special. But I sometimes think of how easily that guy kept me in his orbit with guilt---- whether intentionally or unintentionally---- and how easily I could have wound up in an abusive relationship.
I'm glad to hear that. You made the right decision.
What is it with "friends" wanting their girlfriend to date unsuitable (and scary) men? What kinds of friends do this?
Maybe he was not abusive, but you should not be the girlfriend of somebody that you don't like. That would not have been fair for him.
@@rejectionisprotection4448 What was scary with being nice?
@@antigonarosaura7845 You really think he was being nice? The OP writes that: "He wasn't attracted to his own soul and own self". He wasn't being authentic. He had an internal void that he was using her to fill.
He was OTT in lovebombing her, had no backbone and/or was being manipulative. He didn't seem to care about what she wanted. He wasn't good at setting or respecting her boundaries and kept coming onto her, even when she said "no" (BIG red flag).
Women are always encouraged to give guys like these a chance and that's the LAST thing they should do. They can turn nasty when rejected. I've met more than one of these type of guys.
I remember a Meme that sent something along the lines of: “Why should teenagers be tasked upon to save the world?”
Maybe there’s a story where a fundamentally flawed and often marginalised older woman who’s ‘The Chosen One’.
Honestly the idea of someone in their 50's being the one who has to save the world sounds really refreshing.
@@derek96720
It's one of the aspects that I liked of the Lord of the Rings; both Frodo and Bilbo were in their 50's when they went on their adventures.
But other than that, I'd love to read about a mature, older woman with life experience, being the 'chosen one', going on epic adventures.
I highly recommend watching "Atiye" on Netflix then. She's not exactly 50, but she's well into adulthood.
To be fair most stories about teens being the ‘chosen one’ are made for teenagers, but I do think it would be interesting to see an older women saving the world.
There are two issues with that. #1 is that people, particularly women, in their thirties and onwards are expected to have kids. If you are out there gallivanting about in dangerous places and having adventures, you've either brought your kids with you (child endangerment) or you're not spending time with them. *Interstellar* is a good male example of this. Sure he saves the world and has an amazing adventure but his kids are all grown up now and he'll never get that time with them back.
and #2 older folks are expected to be more settled in their identities and relationships. They know who they are, which leads to less room for character arcs, and they generally already have a special someone which means a whirlwind romance is either out of the question or awkward.
Not that it's not still worth it to have more diverse protagonists and mysteries in particular manage this quite well, but these are my top two issues.
It seems obvious that a trope, when a girl doesn`t think she`s special until a guy shows up and sees how unique she really is, is toxic. It gives a man pover over her, as he can use her low self-esteem to abuse her and she might be trapped in this relationship, feeling that she is only special so long as she is with him.
Yet we see it in our culture all the time. “she`s so pretty and she doesn`t know it“ and all that stuff. Perhaps it comes from christianity and the idea of modesty and humility. Sociaty doesn`t like women who are confident and know their worth. Especially when it comes to being attractive. Vanity seems to be criticized in women more than in man.
this troupe is used both ways like the nerdy guy who gets the pretty girl when she realises he is good for her after the "alpha" shows what a jerk he is..these movies and shows are designed like that to make us normal average people feel like we are special and that we can also get the popular person.
What do you have against Christianity? lol 😅😂
@@thembanitheone Too many virgins
It's called "external validation," and it can indeed be toxic, for men as well. Many men commit themselves to lives to backbreaking work and emotional unhappiness because society says that's what's expected of us. Also, vanity isn't an attractive trait in anyone, and is never portrayed as a good thing in either gender. So I don't know where that's coming from.
As an exChristian I agree, purity culture is soooo bad, it puts such a heavy weight on how I viewed myself and sex. I feel like it’s really deep and people aren’t ready to talk about it.
Is anyone else put off by the fact that Cinderella is being used in this video? I don’t even like the movie, but I respect it. Cinderella is a strong young woman, who stayed true to herself and her kindness, despite being trapped in an abusive household and a time where women COULDN’T survive on their own. She just wanted ONE NIGHT to herself, one chance to be free - not find love. Cinderella found her happily ever after, by chance but completely deserved.
It’s actually modern Cinderella stories that are toxic AF
💙
Yup
Yep, I don't think either Cinderella or Belle count as Special Girls, because Cinderella's story is about choosing kindness in harsh circumstances, and Belle's is about how courage and choosing to love in spite of ugliness transforms people. They aren't made special by the guy's attention.
@@lyndabethcave3835 "they aren't made special by the guy's attention" good point, I just noticed that. Belle was already 'special' even before meeting the beast. She was different from the whole town. While Cinderella was the odd one in their household, isolated and abused by her stepmother and stepsisters. She wasn't just 'special' because of Prince Charming's attention. Everybody's eyes were literally on her at the ball even before the Prince approached her.
Very good point! And I would also add that neither her nor Belle are loved with absolutely no reason (just like Bella, for instance); Belle is seen as “odd” by the villagers, and is basically marginalised, Gaston doesn’t love her, he simply wants her as a trophy wife, Cinderella is abused by her stepmother and sisters… sure, Beast falls for Belle and the Prince for Cinderella, but they do have reasons to love them, not just because they picked them out of a crowd.
"you don't know you're beautiful, that's what makes you beautiful" is thought all through our life that our value, desirability depends on how others see us, and this is slowly changing as women are now reclaiming that power and the right to value ourselves
Every female main character is in some way special. If a man that is pursuing me didn’t see me differently than other women then I’m not interested. (I don’t mean the not like other girls trope). I mean that if a man sees me like every other women and there isn’t anything about me that makes me stand out to him, then why pursue me?
Well, then, how is that any different from the “you’re not like other girls trope”? If you think it doesn’t make sense for a guy to pursue you if he doesn’t see you having something different that makes you “stand out” from other girls like you said, then how would it be bad if he actually said “you’re not like other girls” because he, in fact, saw something in you that stood out?
@@thedissilent2548 I feel like they meant “different” because they connect on a deeper level or have more innate chemistry with them than others. “Not like other girls” girls pride themselves on standing above other women by being more typically attractive to men whether in appearance or opinions or hobbies. However I think op was saying I want to feel like their partner or love interest thinks they’re special not because they embody “not like other girls” characteristics, but because there’s a spark between them because as mentioned chemistry, familiarity, they vibe, idk
Agree I'd have the feeling that he would view me and any other woman as interchangable and not like an individuum. As if every women were exactly the same and it wouldnt matter if he persued me or any other
@@thedissilent2548 your not understanding me. I said “not like other girls trope” because they did a video on it.
@@melanie8ee yes. You are exactly correct
the take about ana steele: "this lucky girl could be us"
me: you couldn't pay me enough to be her, my luck is already great not being her moronic self
I was like " lucky? She is literally an abuse victim.."
Lol an attractive billionaire never laid his eyes on you.
That is literally what I was thinking like who you calling lucky? The girl who was manipulated and emotionally abused by a freaky billionaire? No thank you, I think I'll pass
@@nessmiaou3424 and I've never been stalked or ab sed either so it's a win for me. Have fun with your man who lays hands on you lmao.
@@analigiabatres9114 a handsome billionnaire can lay his hands on me all day 😂😂
The special girl is usually written to be the most dull person you’ve never met
Maybe her dullness is what she's special for? 🤷🏻♀️
✨ _especially dull_ ✨
Agreed. The girl literally is a huge pile of nothingness, but every single person that looks at her magically falls for her. I loathe these kind of characters tbh.
I think it's done on purpose, so that any reader/watcher may be able to see themselves as the special girl.....
Disagree about belle though. Sure she was locked up for five minutes, but she didn't really need to be saved.
Because of two things:
1. When she got locked up, it was her choice, she basically sacrificed herself. She didn't wait for some price at that moment either.
2. The beast let her go halways through the movie, because her father was in trouble, From that point on she didn't need saving from anyone.
I would say it was even before that, because when she runs away after he scares her because she found the rose, he doesn't try to stop her. The beast only follows her because he knows about the wolves. And when he saves her from the wolves and is injured, she could have just left him there and go back to her home, or even help him get to the castle and the take the chance that he is weak to leave. But she realizes they both made assumptions and makes the decision to give beasts a second chance and stays in the castle. And beasts also realizes his own prejudices and takes the chance, behaving mord kindly . So from that moment it was clear she was a guest and not a prisioner anymore.
when i was in high school, i loved that girls like Bella were so average and relatable. anyone could imagine herself on Bella's place, and being loved by the guy like Edward, without any effort. that's why i loved Twilight
The most interesting thing is that both characters - Bella and Anastasia - are created by women and the franchises were mostly watched by women.
Because women are taught that this is how this works, and then go on to teach other women how this works.... and men profit by it.
Strenght of patriarchy . Romance for men and women.
Yep. And it propagates the belief that women should be coy and under-confident to appeal to the “alpha” guys.
I would say that it embodies the woman's low self esteem.and view of the world. I think the man in the story is complementary to her and not the opposite.
By and large most of these stories are made woman. It really is just part of romance stories which are always written by women. You go to the romance section in your local book store and yoh will find it hard to find a male author.
I think Carrie's description is the best.
I think chasing after a "special girl" is often a trait of "the toxic guy" in all of those works of fiction. It's pretty bad tbh.
Just days ago a guy confessed that he liked me really a lot(loved) me whem we where in collage few years back told he was special and knows that he will only fall for a special girl, I told him I do not believe in special anymore then he started to describe the qualities and advantages that makes him special(by the way he is impressive in some ways), but honestly I passed the special phase and more down to earth and it's been years since I thought I am special we all have good and bad qualities and I think it's a right of passage to know that everyone is special in some way which means we are all more or less the same.
I see no issue with the special girl trope 🤷♀️ Personally I just see this trope as something we all can relate too. It’s escapism. It’s fantasy. It’s just mere enjoyment. I understand the issues with the special girl trope but I feel a majority of us have been that special girl at one point in our life. It’s inevitable. At some point we will meet someone whose our whole world and think they’re everything to us but then we’ll realize that’s not true. Eventually we’ll have to come to our senses and move on.
💯 agree. It's feel-good fantasy with a relatable main character for when we want/need to feel a bit special/uplifted, and we want to see a relatable or average (or below average, as we might feel about ourselves) character transform into an improved version of themselves (more bold, better career, physically stronger, being a good mother, improved living situation etc. - examples based on the thumbnail characters) AND find true love (which is like a basic human need, to feel secure and seen and loved)
Never liked this trope only because people take it LITERALLY.
When the Twilight movie first came out I told my friends that I was disappointed that Bella wasn't prettier because I was picturing her as very pretty. And ALL OF MY FRIENDS said the actress was TOO PRETTY to play Bella. And I'm like WTF? How could I have pictured her so wrong? All ten of them pictured Bella as average or bellow average looking and I've always wondered why that is? I'm sure it has to do with them wanting the escapism of being able to put themselves in her shoes without actually changing what they look like and just being born special. And hat is an unfortunate side effect of these special girl YA properties. these young girls (and young boys) grow up loving. They all start believing they are born special and they don't have to do anything. When that isn't true at all. NONE of us are born special. It's what you do and who you are and the decisions you make, that make you special. But no one ever wants to tell them that their actions are the ONLY thing that matters. Who they choose to be is the only thing that matters. Will they contribute to society? Will they become a leech on society? Will they make the lives of everyone they come into contact with better? Or will they make the lives of everyone worse? And if everyone thinks they're born special They believe their actions don't matter and that's how you end up with entitled adults throwing temper tantrums because they believe the world revolves around them, and they're too special to have to wait in line or follow the rules of society.
@@WhitneyDahlin who would have been a better actress for Bella swan? I mean you have to take into account that Kristen Stewart dated Robert Pattinson in real life. So she was too ugly for Robert? Who should date he?
@@WhitneyDahlin when I watched the movie at 13 i also thought Bella was gorgeous, like she is in fact really beautiful
I took it literally growing up 🤣
@@WhitneyDahlin you sound very shallow tbh, idk why you were pissed that an actress wasn’t attractive enough
With Baby, she has this intersectional thing going on.
She is not only affiliated with the rich which gets looked down on by Johnny and his friends, but she is an outcast like them because her values are different.
And Baby shares a lot of qualities that Lara Jean is described as. She has strong values, is shy, compassionate, smart, and loves her family too.
Johnny is an outcast for being poor and a bad boy (which he is forced to play) which is symbolized by the dance status. But he and Baby share the same core values which is why they fell for each other in the first place.
Also, not every girl fell for Johnny. Sure he had some girls who liked him, but not every girl who saw him immediately wanted him so he is different in that way.
I am glad that they showed Baby choosing to lose her virginity to someone she cared for even if it seems fast to other people. Their emotional bond comes out physically which is not a bad thing.
If this is part of the special girl trope, at least it is a more positive form of it.
The fact that “Special Girl” is often white and brunette clearly is what gave me a complex
Alina Starkov from shadow and bone was the fresh air
Fun fact: A special girl/self-insert isn't automatically a Mary Sue, but many special girls are Mary Sues.
Don’t even get me started on how this trope has damaged my mental health since being indoctrinated with this from such a young age. So damaging
Gen X grew up with Disney Princesses .
Believe me, the old-school Disney fairytales are just as damaging in a different way.
What did you watch? And how did it affect you? Don’t mention it if you feel uneasy I wanted to understand but not harm
💯
I agree
Then don’t watch TV, if „damaged“ your mental health so much.
Charlotte: It's because women really just want to be rescued.
Carrie: (voiceover) There it was. The sentence independent single women in their thirties are never supposed to think, let alone say out loud.
Charlotte: I'm sorry but it's true. I've been dating since I was fifteen. I'm exhausted. Where is he?
Miranda: Who? The white knight?
Samantha: That only happens in fairy tales.
Charlotte: My hair hurts.
From the mouths of women themselves.
I didn't really understand the point can you please explain 😭
I understand and agree with this video's take on how the predatory nature of narcissistic men can damage the special girl. But a key aspect of why books like twilight and fsog were such a rage was because women wanted that specialness. They wanted to feel like they could land an unattainable man with the bare minimum effort and just being themselves. I mean the whole situation with Christian and ana ins fsog was ridiculous. Realistically a man in Christian's position would be annoyed af that he had to waste his time on an unprepared interviewer who didn't bother to learn much about the person she's interviewing. As much as we discuss men using the special girl technique to trap women in high pressure unfulfilling relationships, we really need to address women's own part in this. The uncomfortable fact that some women don't really want to put in the work to attract a successful man and just want to live the fantasy of having some handsome billionaire just handed on a plate to them for no real reason.
There is a similar trope where average men land women way out of their league and this is again a male fantasy. But I feel like men get called out more for this than the women who have this fantasy.
Hollywood promotes all the time how someone average is what a hotasf actress!!! I think twilight and 50sog are the female version but the male version is all over Hollywood and media promotion and is what is perceived as normal. The notebook, wolf of wall street, king of queens, just all the movies where Margot Robbie and Rachel McAdams is. Look at all the Ben Affleck movies. Marilyn Monroe movies. Didn't like Keanu reeves get so much backlash bc she is dating someone a few years younger and not acting like a p Edo like Leo DiCaprio who is celebrated? With his dadbod?
Yes! Yes! I agree wholeheartedly.
It’s not women’s fault into it at all 😂. The man is gay or bisexual man that prefers men, because of our heteronormative society and he feels like he can’t express his attraction to other men, he’s waiting for that “special girl” or “the one”.
oooooooh this used to be a true issue on my internal world. I craved so bad to be special in someones eyes that I accepted horrible relationships just be feel like one of those girls in those books/movies/series. Now, not so much. I think on my case it is truly based on the fact that I genuinely like myself much more now. It feels more valuable than someones elses perception of me.
Yeeees! It took me ages to realize that and I'm glad I finally got it. Now what truly matters to me is how I perceive myself. I have nothing to prove to anyone but me :)
The only thing I appreciate about 50 grey of grades is that she was over 18.
I think Age of Adeline is a good example of the good kind of love.
I think one of the biggest problems with the special girl trope is they sometimes lake characterization. So as a viewer you feel like you don't know them beyond their romance. I felt like that with Bella from Twilight.
It's like this for a reason. It allows the reader to insert themselves into her character, because she's so vague and generic that she could be you, whoever you are. YOU could be the slightly awkward new kid the untouchable hot guy falls for.
Pretty much all of the source books in this video were written by women, which is interesting, maybe showing how this is the ideal of how women see themselves, we all want to be 'special' and different, and maybe we are to those who see that in us.
Yes, I totally agree.
maybe the real special girl was the friends we made along the way
It is a long standing romance trope which is genre written sole by women.
And yet you still see scores of women in the comments trying to find ways to blame women's fantasies on men, as if men are in their heads from the time they're babies controlling what they dream about. It's so incredibly insulting and infantilizing to women.
Could be yeah... Although I have to say that as a Nordic girl who was raised by a feminist mom and grew up with "strong women bossing around men" tropes, I've never found Twilight type of stories particularly appealing and was utterly confused about how popular they've got. The female character being a "special girl" is not a problem per se but imo there are several (both good and bad) ways to be special. For example, you could argue that the main villains are one of the most special characters in any franchise, just in a darker way. So it's intellectually depressing that woman's specialness is so often associated with quietness, virginity, and non-threatening demeanor - even by women themselves.
I think the special girl being often a virgin also has to do with the first time being a more memorable intense experience for the readers that had yet to have sex so they can start to try out on those feelings and for the readers that do have a fond memory of their first time. So is also part of the self-insert experience.
i love the y/n shit bc i wish i was her. life sucks so much and escaping it by daydreaming that i’m bella from twilight makes me so happy. imagine just running away w someone who loves me and be 18 forever
This video was eye opening. All my life I've been internalising this portrayal of the special girl. It is like I'm supposed to be special for my life to be interesting. This thinking is centred around validation.
Not anymore. I'm going to live my life on my own terms.
same for me
I had 4 boyfriends, one of them became my husband. While I was falling in love with them they were ALL special and unique. To me, my husband still is this incredible jewel of a man that only I can see. I don’t mind the “special” trope, because I think that is what it means to be in love: to see that someone as God sees them.
I just think of Olenna Tyrell talking about Sansa.
O: She’s an interesting girl.
Varys: Is she?
O: No, not particularly. But she’s had an interesting childhood.
Hahahaa how we miss the Queen of Thorns. Anyways is Sansa has always been the furthest from special out of the Stark children. She can't even warg...lame.
@@thembanitheone Is she a warg in the books?
@@thembanitheone You know nothing about A Song of Ice and Fire.
That was such a terrible dialogue, with D&D showing how they absolutely didn't understand Sansa's character and thought she was stupid because Cersei said so (LMAO),
@@ivanacvetanovic7611 am I wrong though? She's Rickon-tier
To me the « special girl » is the introvert girl who feel weird and alone in a world of extroverts. I felt like this all my life and i relate often. However, we’re not special since there’s many of us, we just don’t see them. It can feel like we’re different because the « popular » and extroverted ones speak louder. This is a theory also; the « special girl » in theses movies are often from books. However the girls who read theses girly books are often the ones who spend time reading instead of going out and BIG chances are, the authors where also this girl lol
No mention of True Blood’s, Snooki Stackhouse, the most special fairy girl in the world, who enchanted all the supernaturals, with blood that smells like vampire honey juice with a virgin catnip chaser was a severely missed opportunity…
or as Pam rightfully called her, “A gash in a sundress…” 😂😂😂
Agreed! The missed out Sookie but put in Bella and Anastasia who are pretty much the same character!
Snooki Stackhouse. 🤣
@@natashamcd12 I didn’t even care enough to edit it. I was more surprised that that’s what auto correct actually “corrected” to. Neither one of those stupid useless names should even be in our vernacular for auto correct to correct.
@@LotsofLisa I didn’t even notice it 😄
This is a creation of women for women, who dream of being the special girl in their teenage years and that is why they write characters like that, that's simply a fanfic-type story that managed to become a book or movie because women are the ones who consume it more for that fantasy, if that ideal is so successful it's because the women themselves put it there, so it's not bad as an adolescent dream, who hasn't dreamed stupid things in puberty? but the problem is when they decide to project it on a large scale, and even then it's not so serious because today we have all kinds of female protagonists, if you put together a lot of the same ones it seems that this stereotype invades us, but in reality there are more, and I repeat, if one stands out over another it's because the public consumes it that way
The special girl: you’re not special until the hot rich guy says you’re special.
This type of content is why I'm subscribed to this channel! Covered a lot of interesting ground here. The Virgin Mary being the original special girl. How the "special girl" idea can be used by real life predators. How we can be treated as "special" not just by romantic partners but also by family & friends. Lots of wonderful points here.
In Parks and Rec Leslie treats her friends like "the special girl" or the "special boy." She does grand, romantic gestures like making scrapbooks for seemingly small occasions. She showers her friends with love and praise (especially Ann). Sometimes Leslie goes overboard, but seeing Leslie turn normal occasions into something "special" is an inspiration.
Dakota Johnson is the daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith, the granddaughter of Tippi Hedren. She may have been unknown when she got cast, but she is Hollywood royalty/a nepotism baby, whichever term you prefer.
Wow! The amount of research you guys did is commendable .
Rory was the most annoying "special girl" basically every woman around her was more interesting or accomplished (Paris, Lane, even her own mother) but she was always center stage.
I don't know about others but Kristen Stewart is not your average beauty. She is breath taking ❤
This was - great analysis. I was born into a cult and can relate to so much of what you outlined. We were told we had been born sinless and that it was up to us to save the world… ridiculous pressure wrapped up into love bombing and isolation, and it only got worse in the marriage I was arranged into. After leaving it all behind a few years ago and getting into therapy, it’s fascinating to see how that desire for being special shows up nowadays, and how I’m learning to balance it.
And you’re spot about the healthy version of this dynamic, which I now get to enjoy :)
Katniss Everdeen is not a good example. She was in the eyes of capitol and rebels from the moment she volunteered to protect her sister. For her luck, a lot of things in the hunger games turned out to be in her benefit but from the advent of catching fire and mockingjay, all of that was no longer available. Her sister's death (for Primrose) was kind of a relief from this monstrous, horrendous world, but for Katniss, losing her loved ones like Prim, Rue, Finnick and captain Boggs was unbearable. She fell into PTSD and Depression at the end, she almost lost Peeta cause of Capitol.
I've been in abusive relationships before and experienced all these toxic control tactics. Happened to me when I was very, very young and so it really messed up my life trajectory and has lasting consequences.
I really enjoyed this! It's very true, too, and happens more even in real life than we realize. I know I spent 6 years go in circles with a man like this until I met my late husband (God rest his soul). He was the first man to connect on a deeper level with me and that made our love grow exponentially. Thankyou for this ❤
These videos must take a lot of work to create but I so appreciate them! Thank you! ❤️ Well thought out and produced!
Can not believe Rory Gilmore didn’t make this list. She was the epitome of the “special girl” for no other reason than her immediate family constantly telling her how special she was. Only to find in the end that she wasn’t special at all.
Can you guys please make a video about the trope regarding the 'ugly guy and and hot wife'?
Long time lurker, but thank you for all of this awesome content y’all put out! I always get excited to see new Takes :)
How I'd explain the special girl trope
✍ ✍
Girls who feel different, like I did growing up, more introverted and intellectual and emotionally precocious than other girls get treated as less than.
These girls are the most attracted to the special girl trope, because they long to be appreciated for the way they are--instead of mocked and rejected.
Notice: BOTH Bella and Anastasia are introverted, less interested than their peers in youthful interests, more contemplative. In the first book Bella is Very shy; she had NO friends back in Phoenix. And Anastasia is a romantic who loves literature, not a basic Becky or a popular, fashionable Heather.
These girls actually are special.
I did some creative writing in my late teens and early twenties exploring that fantasy, that you'll be sitting there reading a book on the Subway and some guy will see you and think "Still waters run deep" and want to get to know you more…
So the special girl's specialness getting her in trouble, is kind of like the "call to adventure" in the hero's journey?
"The special girl" is just "the special boy" but a girl it's not a gender thing, the special protagonist is literally every protagonist. They want to convice us this character is special for some reason then we project ourselves in them and we belive we're special too for some reason. It's a vanity we should've gotten rid of already, there's no such thing as being special
The biggest concern is that "the special boy" is a boy born with superpowers that can be used to save the world. The special girl is a virgin who managed to catch the attention of the special boy.
There are toxic aspects in both presentations but fundamentally, having a unique ability that can make people's lives better is more related to being socially perceived as special than being the chosen woman of a good man.
special boy is literally the most anime protagonist
@@leandroteixeira33 THERE IS a double-standard for special female protagonists and male protagonists, but i think the bottomline is: no one is special and it's ok to admit that
@@agnessofiacastrocarvalho774
well that depends on how you define special
Thank you so much for this analysis, it was incredibly interesting to watch ❤
I appreciate the variety of examples cleverly analyzed. great video
I feel that that special feeling of being seen by that special guy can very swiftly shift into creepy territory.
Ruby Sparks was the ultimate "Special Girl." She was literally the creation of her boyfriend who had a typewriter from the Twilight Zone. That was a great movie and her loser boyfriend lost her, like he deserved to. A desirable girl would not choose the male protagonist of that movie and Ruby Sparks makes the point of that.
These lines in this excellent video are Life-Giving!!!!!!!
*"She makes the special guy feel even more special and helps bring out the normal or 'good side' within him. But if the special girl is given her special status By A Guy, that means that her identity is a pretty fragile construct. And her specialness can be taken away as quickly as it's bestowed."*
*Preach it, The Take, PREACH IT!!!!!* 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
The "You're not like other girls" thing is exactly what brought my parents together. Mom really was "not like the other girls" Dad had been with, in the best ways. They were together for 40 years 💘.
I’m not sure Baby fits into this… she’s not that lonely, unloved and mysterious. She has strong morals, is straight forward, has her family that loves her and she loves them, there’s that rich guy hitting on her, Johnny is actually annoyed by her at the beginning, even after she didn’t hesitate to jump in for Penny. He doesn’t see her as that one special girl, they genuinely build attraction over time. Also there’s more than enough women in that movie that are not attracted to Johnny, he doesn’t fit into that “unattainable guy” role either. It’s also established pretty clearly that they both think the other one is the special one, they uplift each other, and Johnny is the one who feels like he isn’t good enough. Idk, I just think she doesn’t fit here. Or maybe she’s a better written special girl.
Looking back, this trope gave me false expectations when I was younger and first started dating.
Loved this one, you really covered all the angles here
That is pretty good! I appreciate how thorough this video is!
I kept going after guys who weren't that into me, until I came across this piece of advice: Be your most authentic self and believe that the ones you're most compatible with (i.e. the ones you want the most) will find you irresistible - and they want you HARD.
Ooh please can you say more? I too have realised I set my sights on guys I don't actually have a friendship with, who I project specialness on but in fact they have done the bare social interaction minimum in response to my (often overthought and agonised to be normal and subtle) gestures or communication. Basically they don't see me as special and may even be confused as to why I am so invested in them given we don't really know each other. All this time I have been presenting a curated version of myself - indeed trying my best to 'not be like other girls'
@@dreamsofmusicbutalasdayjob5920 So the sad thing about seeking out guys who aren't actually into you is that it shows how you view yourself and what love is. I don't know about you, but because of my childhood I see love as something that needs to be earned (curating a version of myself, being "not be like other girls"). I realized there had been perfectly nice, fun, cute guys who openly showed interest in me and I rebuffed them because it didn't match how I viewed myself - unworthy of love and affection. I told myself they were fake or desperate. And then I'd wonder why I was single and why guys never liked me as much as I liked them.
What worked for me was to learn to show up as my authentic self. When you do that, the people who aren't your vibe will self-select out of your dating pool, and the people you can best connect with will be drawn to you.
Also now I'm dating someone who liked me a lot right from the beginning and isn't afraid to show it. And I gotta tell ya - at first it was UNCOMFORTABLE because I felt I hadn't done anything to "earn" all this affection. Example: he calls me every day to ask how my day is going and at first I'd be thinking "omg is this love bombing, is he dangerous". Still got a lot of therapy work to go haha
Can you please do a video on the childfree woman?
I can't wait!
I loved this. Just what I needed to watch on a Friday. ❤️
This is the one. This video. Absolutely brilliant 🙌🏻🙏🏼
I think the idea is that when you love someone they are really special... to you in your world. And then it's also that's all that matters and that love doesn't really need a "reason". It's unconditional. I almost think people are yearning for something beyond romantic love.
kinda curious what do you mean by the whole "people are yearning for something beyond romantic love"?like um uh do you really mean that romantic love makes people yearn for something more than what/who they are?to do more?be more?makes some sense somehow if that's maybe what you might have meant maybe
If Edward Cullen had been ended by the Volturi as he'd planned, would Bella still be Special as a person in her own right? Without him?
Is she only made Special because of Edward's peculiar attraction to her blood? And if it wasn't for Edward and Jacob, arguably both a lot more Special than Bella, would her Specialness have gone unnoticed, except for her feeling of being a bit of a misfit. Would she ever have done things to empower herself, and be Special, without the involvement of the More Special man? 🤔xx
Mm she was smart and kind, she would have gone to college, maybe keep living with her dad for a while before it. she would probably get married after college, having a family, working, taking care of her free-spirited mom and her lonely dad. Probably a pretty normal life for her, but... Is that special enough?
No EVERYONE found Bella special from the moment she walked in. Her classmates were all over her, Jacob was pining for her. Even James locked on her scent and couldn't let it go. It's not just Edward that made Bella special. She was written to be that way.
@@user-je7uq9kq1f she wasn’t smart or kind. Nothing in the series showed her being smart or kind. She never showed any interest in going to college or wanting to get married or have kids. As a character she had zero motivation or goals at all in the series. It’s one thing if the series actually expanded on this, in that Bella doesn’t really know what to do with her life, but they didn’t. They had it revolve around Edward from the very start
Omg the diversity of examples here.. and so much good and deep thoughts, that was so interesting!
Cinderella wasn't a special girl because of the Prince, the Prince, like everybody else, was enthralled by who she was. Before that, it was the mice, the bird, the stepfamily, the cat, the dog, literally everybody else. The late person to be touched/realise it was the Prince, and he help her out of there.
All these are narcissistic abusive relationships. HG Tudor has some really interesting insights on this. Thanks so much for another amazing video analysis The Take 👏👏👏
I love this but...the fact they say "A man who loves her for what's inside" and she's pregnant if hilarious (and cute, because he does love Joe)
This is great. I knew there was a difference between healthy vs toxic special, but you do such a better job of articulating it, thank you.