How Does A Hive Mind Keep A Synchronized Swimming Team So Coordinated?
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- Опубликовано: 5 сен 2024
- A telepathic link allows a synchronized swimming team's hive mind to maintain uniform thoughts, feelings, and actions in all swimmers.
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Italy totally deserved the silver that year. Just because the judges were uncomfortable with the brutal execution of one escapee, shouldn't take away from the fact the transition between routine and water based brawl was perfectly timed and synchronized! Even the blows that killed the swimmer were timed right!
If they were unprofessional enough to have an escape attempt at the Olympics they should be kicked out!
I'm Italian and I remember that episode, I felt so proud, I understood in that moment that the medal wasn't important, what really matters is the sportsmanship and dedication to protect the hive mind from any kind of defection.
I totally agree. Any attempt to escape the hive mind must be dealt with swiftly and efficiently. In essence, that swimmer committed suicide.
The act of having one escapee can be a black mark in one's whole career.
Personally I felt the execution was a beautiful show of cpllective concious efforts towards perfection, and was symbolic of the relationship the swimmers built meaning absolutely nothing before the all powerful hive mind
Thankfully a letter writing campaign changed the rules and the murder of a teammate is no longer a deductible offense so long as the routine is shortened to make up for the time spent killing.
I still think it should still be a deductible offense, mainly because most murders of the teammate aren't done gracefully and show a lack of skill for having the hive mind break in the first place
AMF idk if the hive mind kills all participants at the same time or in a well choreographed manner I think it’s perfectly acceptable and increases the skill ceiling of the sport. Come on we’re not in the Stone Age here like fencing, we’re able to adapt and be progressive with our sport.
Shortening the routine is still going to cost in points.
@@AMaplestoryFan I'm pretty sure most hiveminds have responded to this opinion by practicing beating down broken links in a symchronized fashion. Also, to help with shortening the routine, I hear some groups are trying to segment their routine so that if an issue arises they can calculate how many segments they can do and how sloppy they can be with the murder before the next segment kicks in.
your so fucking stupid, do you not realize this is a joke video?
This would make the Olympics watchable.
Nothing can make the Olympics watchable.
Putting the interesting stuff, like freakin' *sword-fighting* on tv would make it pretty watchable.
+existenceisrelative there is sword fighting in the Olympics
Sport fencing, which from what I understand is hardly accurate in terms of techniques, and such. But then, neither is virtually all sword fighting in movies and TV programs.
The murder or the sync speech?
imagine aliens would want to learn about humans and they find this channel
“Kill all the humans, they are too batshit crazy to live”
They would be impressed by our apparent perfection and decide not to invade us.
Hopefully, we'll scare them away.
@@tankman1429 they wouldn't be wrong tbh.
@@tankman1429 "Oh wait, this RUclips channel says otherwise"
"Many swimmers would rather run out of oxygen underwater, and die, than break formation."
That's the Onion I remember. Classy and subtle.
Bruh if you're gonna quote the video at least spend the time finding whichever part so you can quote it right
It’s true though have you ever watched a synchro team
As someone who used to do sincroum swimming. They literally tell you to keep going even if someone accidentally kicks you, your nose pinch falls off, or your hair gets out of your bun. And you have to keep smiling no matter what.
I used to love it, it’s a shame you have no option to keep doing it as a hobby or become a proffesional.
How are the other swimmers not feeling the same choking effect? if they feel even the prickling.
@@donnie8032 If you break formation youre disconnecting yourself from the hivemind, so you're essentially a foreign entity
As someone who left my club. Leaving the hive mind was severely damaging. I could never practice another sport since I left synchronized swimming.
If you survived that near fatal beating in an Olympic pool, why not try out for MMA?
You have not escaped us. Do not step foot in water again or our vengeance will be swift
You have not escaped us. Do not step foot in water again or our vengeance will be swift
You have not escaped us. Do not step foot in water again or our vengeance will be swift
You have not escaped us. Do not step foot in water again or our vengeance will be swift
I always knew it. The aim of the Borg was to create the biggest and best syncronized universe wide space swimming performance.
If that was the purpose of the borg...maybe I'd willingly join....
They placed first in the Fluidic Space games.
Any other purpose would be a waste of their time.
What is space if not a giant swimming pool?
E
Joking aside the physical and mental endurance synchro swimmers have is godlike
Which jokes are you referring to?
For the hive...
@@nice3333333333nice one.
It would be impossible for only one of the swimmers to drown. They have to syncronize, and the others intentionally drown themselves to stay in sync.
What's really impressive is the precision with which they manipulate the pool's inherent instability before loss of consciousness to ensure they remain synchronized!
You've got it all wrong. The hive mind protects itself by cutting contact with the dying swimmer. That's why you sometimes see the drowning swimmer make a last second attempt to reach the surface.
There's a reason they ganged up and killed the other swimmer who was not in tune, the harmony must go on and allow nature to run its course.
Imagine one of them being hit by a car and the rest of them feels it
Half'n Whole well now we know their weakness, which is good.
And with this knowledge, we will survive the synchronized swimmer apocalypse!!!!!😆
Himeko Murata you will not stop us (proceeds to hibernate underwater without breathing to prepare for the revolution).
they'd mysteriously levitate suddenly
@@mslightbulb *whispers* boats
@@HerrscherPuppet what about the hive mind us in musicals have
They're like the Borg... "Water resistance is futile, you will be a-SWIM-ulated."
Master Therion So that's how you do it, you have a silly comments play list, it just so happens that we have similar video tastes! Weird stuff
geniussnake497 One day I just happened to get top comment on two different videos and was curious if I could figure how to do it again. Nerdy humor and puns are very popular on science videos. lol
Ew a satanist
@@Master_Therion Hi fellow satanist :)
fair enought.
As an ex synchronized swimmer I can confirm. I barely managed to escape with my life.
We finally found you
when did you become free from the hivemind?
@@JaysonVaughn We didn't
You have not escaped us. Do not step foot in water again or our vengeance will be swift
We finally found you
Asking the questions the lamestream media won't ask.
Damn right.
"lamestream"
I'm going to start using that. Thanks.
@@Swenthorian don't, it's a Donald trump term
@@davidrocamora5109 Ack, why does Trump have to go and ruin everything.
well this aged like milk
I said it then and I'll say it now, Italy deserved at least bronze that year.
1:15
That's not actually true. Telepathic signals don't travel that quickly, and neither do nerve impulses. It takes around 100 or so milliseconds for the swimmers to respond to the hive mind, but the synchronisation is perfect to around a single millisecond as the hive mind is able to compensate for any variation in the delay in the neural link between swimmers.
Nathan Gamble you misunderstand hive mind. They all have receive commands at the same time, so all responses happen simultaneously
@@JackCarregan I can testfy, my uncle was in the military, and they used this tech on him and his teammates insane
Exactly, these people didn't consult a neurologist before writing the script
My dude this is the onion there a joke news channel
@@merilazic9070 r/wooosh
The scariest part isn’t the hive mind, but the fact that the onion has tabs on everyone, everywhere
We used to do synchronized dancing, and the hivemind is MUCH stronger than outsiders give credit for. The teleopathic bonds between me and the hive was weakened one day when my bond mate took a bottle of extra strength sleep medication. We separated in the middle of our dance routine and we were so confused that all we could do was scream and attack the mirror until the queen brood assimilated us back into the fold. Now, everything is just right.
😂😂😂
Honestly the creepiest part about this is that they were monitoring all those teammates miles away
And by the looks of it, they didn't know they being monitored
The Onion are definitely back in form with this series :D
I must have stumbled into a wormhole because the onion is making good content again
Yes! Plus the faux-Reporters are back too!
Post-Gawker® death?!?
The wormhole collapsed.
Bwahahahahaha!
Ooooh...
The entitlement, "@@rexmundi3108".
I don't know if they'll ever get back to the level of awesome that their Teen Shamanism discussion reached.
This is upsettingly close to my actual synchronized swimming experience
The onion deserves to be way way WAY more popular than it is right now. Consistently genious
The Onion's RUclips channel used to be really big years ago. Each video would get hundreds of thousands of views with many going well into the millions. But a massive change in the content to coincide with a TV spinoff, a fine idea but badly realized, fractured the fanbase. When the gamble failed, their content took a nosedive in quality, leading to an exodus of subscribers along with decreasing viewcounts. One of their best videos in this era featured a psychotic producer demanding more online content, which, from an outsider's perspective, looked like a scathing review of the strain the content creators were under. Then they just stopped. The Onion's channel was a ghost town for a long while. It was only recently that they started uploading content onto RUclips again.
This series is a great step back in the right direction. These videos have nailed their brand of sharp, dark satire. I REALLY look forward to what they have in store for the future. I hope we're witnessing the beginning of a renaissance for the Onion's RUclips channel.
AvsJoe You know what I think I remember that, I though for a moment I was already subscribed and it all came flooding back now. That's a damn shame, it's so hard to build an audience now adays.
Theyve just been bought over by an israeli company. Expect zionist BS soon. Im outta here.
Jesus Christ
This is like SCP-level shit
"Off into the glowing fiery orb with ya'!"
SCP fan!
what is SCP, good sir ?
vlid0 [REDACTED], created for the purpose of [REDACTED].
[DATA EXPUNGED].
@@vlid0 I was curious myself and read about it but still not understanding it. It seems like a genre of sci fi/ fantasy like steampunk or vampires. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCP_Foundation
this looks like inspiration for a rick and morty episode
They already kinda done something similar, s02e03 auto erotic assimilation
this is one of those onion videos that doesn't make you laugh, but it's HELLA interesting
Why, because it's too black?
@@maazkalim
what?
The comedy-genre, "dear" Mr "@@blurob1326".
Speak for yourself, I'm cackling like a hyena here, lol!
As a former synchronized swimmer I can attest to the accuracy of this.
Can someone make this an SCP please
Object class should be either keter or Euclid...
Euclid, they don't seem to have any intend to cause harm
Object classes are for the difficulty of containment not for how dangerous they are
@@fulcrum2951 but if they can't be contained they will be Keter
@@fulcrum2951 we found the series 6 author
WTF did Italy not metal after that performance? Do you know how difficult it is to beat someone to death and then get back in formation. They should of gotten gold after that.
Yeah, the judges were paid off! The Italian team performed perfectly despite the unforeseen incident where one of their drones broke away and tried to escape to form a new hive. They beat the rogue drone to death with perfect precision and then got back into formation to finish their routine.
so does the murduer real of its edited?
@@tweakPTCG of course its real the hive mind doesnt do botched jobs
Is it real? I checked and didn’t find any news about this….
asking about the murder being real just means that you are less intelligent than you thought you were
I like the idea that hive minds are more concerned about synchronization swimming that assimilating the world
How do you think they practice
@@jameson1239 Right? If you can't even swim in unison how can you expect to take over the world? Do you think the Borg just started out modulating phaser blasts from starships? Baby steps people. You have to swim before you can run.
Honestly Onion, missing out important information is unacceptable! You can’t claim to be educating us about a hive mind when you so blatantly miss out facts! Everyone has the right to know about how hive minds survive. For those who don’t know, a hive mind will eliminate any individual who tries to leave or defy assimilation (as the Onion correctly pointed out) but if the health of one entity’s life is in peril (for example, if they went from pricking the arm the violently forcing open an artery to make one of them bleed out) then that individual will be de-assimilated. Such poor news coverage disgusts me! All you news sources are untrustworthy, that’s why I watch those joke news sites, like FOX.
God, I was birthed in an acult hive mind, apparently they had stolen it from a synchronized swimming team back in 06, they had to drain 70% of my blood to de-assimilate me, it was awful, and now I have a permanent stutter :(
A complete lack of professionalism.
@@Callie_CosmoYou have not escaped us. Join back with the mother. Become a child of mother once again, my sibling.
@@Simeeow no No *NO! YOU CANT! IVE HIDDEN SO WELL YOU CANT KNOW WHERE IVE GONE! PLEASE! PLEASE DONT TAKE ME AGAIN! PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU!*
@@Callie_Cosmo 🩸🩸🩸
I love that the premise isn't that synchronised swimmers are born or bred for this, but it's just an expected thing to opt-in to if you want to swim.
They should have ended the interview with the reporter getting assimilated.
1:39 that seems paradoxical. Wouldn’t the cold swimmer feel the other two’s warm environment? Or is it just pointing out that they make the same body movements as the cold one, and don’t actually feel the temperature?
There are issues with perfect synchronicity yet, but the process of making decisions for whole groups of people is already pretty advanced. Sometimes a false rebel is required to be placed on the top of some movement to dupe them into thinking they still have a choice, but overall, the operation is a success.
As a swimmer myself this is funny. But really guys, we jus count 1 to 8
Ikr
Yes the singular hive mind counts to 8.
Nice try hivemind, you cannot hide your existence any onger
You mean 0001 to 1000
If you make it sound too easy, everyone will want to join.
I don’t know what’s scarier the fact that there is a hive mine that infects even 700 miles away or the fact that the onion found them
Wait hold up. If they are all linked together, and they beat up one person, wouldn't they be beating up themselves?
No if the drone detached from hive
I like how all 3 of their heart rates are the same
I loved how..
...Jovial the presenter was!
My, goodness.. His dimples!
Italy failed to medal that year. lewl.
1:58 I love how the girl in the parking lot turned around after she “felt the needle prick” and went back where she came from. 😅
i remember that incident with the Italian team, it was brutal
That was rigged, Italy should have won gold!
I bet it was psionic interference from one of the other teams that broke the link to the hive mind. There really need to be better safeguards and regulations against sabotage.
@@nathangamble125 I never thought of that.
Yeah! They beat the rogue drone to death in a perfect synchronized way so they should've gotten points for that at least!
I like how he says these things so casually
I would imagine sororities possess similar technology.
I was so lost until I realized it was from The Onion
I’m not sure why RUclips recommended this but thanks
would be a great time to bring this series back
This skit exemplifies the saying "It's so stupid it just might work." 🤣
I swear my 6th grade swim team had those same suits but yellow instead of red. Didn’t expect the Onion to be so nostalgic.
the same, but different!
The amount of work put in and it''s perfection...GODDAM!!
"Captain! These swimmers are hive mind!" Picard "oh God Data! We are too late! The Borg must have reached Earth!"
And thus on the 3rd day he said: The swimmer that breaks the formation shall be brutally executed.
Its a tradition to watch this every olympics. It's always conveniently recommended around that time anyway.
This is why its against the Geneva convention for synchronised swimmers to work in the military
I never knew! So fascinating.
Doesnt that voice also do those top 20 videos
Meanwhile the long distance swim team:
"He's too dangerous to be left alive!"
Imagine a kid growing up learning from this channel!
They would be optimally equipped for real life
Everyone's interested in how this entity works, while I'm here asking why a bunch of metaphysical hive mind super-organisms are trying to beat eachother at a lowly human activity like synchronised swimming.
Marching bands have a similar hive mind. Except larger
i bet there still someone who actually thinks onion is actuall news
That's the point. To troll the morons of the internet while the rest of us laugh at them. That's always been the point.
Well I mean the paper existed before it was put online...
@@zackcohn Yeah, I used to get copies when I was in college. I wish I would have saved a few.
In another universe
@1:02 - hive mind shot in arm. In the temple.
Left arm patch. - the body is the temple
Temple patch. - you know what double shots
The bit at 0:40 is perfect! 😁
Also applies to marching band.
Source: I'm the one that was shunned/left face-down in the water.
Can I just check: was there this one time, in Band Camp?
I love these sportology ones
I love when it takes me a second to realize it's a joke
This is so funny!!! Best one you guys had in a while!
They have many good ones.
For a second I thought I was watching the Bright Side
This is the future professor Hidgens wants
0:27 he's trying not to laugh
True
Adam Fletcher sounds like the narrator for Bright side.
Seems like Unity is getting better from that last time with Rick.
So this is what Unity is now up to...
I feel like an idiot, I didn't realize this was the onion lol
I didn’t know this was the onion for a liiiiittle too long. I was very concerned for those swimmers lol
This feels like Bright Side
What if one of them takes a crap, would all of them take a crap?
I feel like i am in a alternative universe adagshdlglh
these are great.
bring back In the Know
I thought this was a real documentary and started to realize halfway through
This is how they do Top Chef, Junior...
That Italy Beating must have really hurt for all of them
No of course not. That one had brokem links to the hive, and thus was individual. Imperfect swimmers recieve a similar fate.
@Just one more thing hol up
@Just one more thing genius
No the ones in the hive do not feel unless the coach feels they are a collective
Triggered: its pronounced (Cox-in)
But yeah the spelling of coxswain is wack.
00:40 is golden
If them feel the same thing, when one drowns shouldn't all of them drown too?
Who knew stnchronuzed swimmers were so terrifying.
It's sad to see the onion go.
Scary how real the inion is these days.
God i was so confused until I saw what channel this was
"Yes inquisitors, these people over here!'
The so-called neural link is actually quantum entanglement. The swimmers are all part of the same wave function.
I want to see an interview with their coach, Jerry Ryan.
The way he pronounced coxswain hurt me
Same
HIVEMIND podcast mentioned‼️Dignan forever 🕊️
0:01
Did that guy intercept a bullet like he's randy moss?!
Yeah, I remember that year. There were a lot of crabs in that pool
Is this the brightside narrator?
Those "motion sensors" are ecg dots 😂😂😂
It's both amazing and sad how the onion keeps predicting the future. This practically isn't even satire anymore. I can't even remember the last time all of the hive minds were able to keep control of their nodes through the entirety of the games. Yet we keep forcing them to compete with modern pool solutions no matter how many health problems they cause for the athletes. It's just sad.