Thats me, I was subjected to that relationship. My mother is a narcissist. My sister and I had a loveless, joyless, and isolated upbringing. I've had horrible relationships with men. It is truly toxic to be around these people. Loving myself is a daily challenge.
@Snow Flake All people are predictable. You act as if people are special. In reality everyone follows what everyone else is doing. The average person cannot think for themselves.
Anybody can be tricked, (even narcissists themselves sometimes) and this is because they are not known in society. You don't learn it in school or anything. It's like being a sheep your whole life, on a farm, surrounded by other sheep, when suddenly you meet a wolf dressed as a sheep. After you find out it is a wolf you go to your other sheep friends and say "see? See!" But they don't see what you see so they just reply "No, it's just a sheep." Normal human brains cannot comprehend such evil even exists. I sure didn't believe until my ex's mask fully came off and I'd say my family was normal and my childhood was good.
Agree..check out George Simon...author of the best seller book "in sheeps clothing"..he makes no excuses for their bad behaviour and nor should we imho....hard to accept tho.
@@specialtwice4975s, normal people can’t process and understand this evil! Evidently I grew up with malignant/covert mother but I just recently found out about narcissism and that is only because I was in a relationship with a narcissist for a year. The relationship was so strange and destructive and I lived in a narcissistic fog witch I found out later. I couldn’t understand why he lied about petty things, twisted everything until I forgot what we were arguing about. He was master of chaos and destruction and I saw that through the fog but I didn’t know how to brake free. I was confused of my confusion literally. Now I know about their pattern like word salad, deflection, blaming etc that causes this brain fog. It was the betrayal and knives in my back that finally made me react and I called him out witch is a long story! 🙄🙄🙄 After I kicked him out the brain fog slowly faded away and I started to research toxic relationship and when I saw videos about narcissism it hit me about my parents. My childhood was a nightmare and still my brain cannot understand this evil. 🤯🤯🤯 I swear they are demon possessed, I know what I saw when they raged!
“Self-projection” (vs self “reflection”) kept Narcissus from recognizing himself in his mirrored image. He saw the image as if it were an ‘other-than’ himself-the only object worthy of his affection. He was blind to his version of ‘the sound of one hand clapping’ futility: of loving the self without the polarity of its implied “other.” He tried, but couldn’t love himself directly. (He couldn’t be the direct object of his own experience. No more, say, than a tongue can taste itself.) With a touch, his water born image was lost to distortion.
The psychopath will use every situation,( no matter how bad that situation is at that time), to force it into an opportunity to gain attention.I know i was once "married" to someone with behavior such as this. Once, after I had 'escaped' and left him with no contact, our son was hospitalized. My ex then tried his best to turn that situation into an opportunity to cause me more pain and suffering, in an attempt to gain attention for himself! It is always about them, everything...and every situation is an opportunity for that! A complete lack of empathy, compassion or any healthy emotions and feelings.
It literally makes my stomach turn over and a nauseous feeling comes over me when I see sociopaths do. It's frightening just how disconnected they are and the fact they'll destroy others even if they destroy themselves in the process. It is severe psychopathology. It's like they KNOW they're bad , and subconsciously have to destroy themselves as well. I think that deep down,they are aware they deserve utter and complete destruction. If I could personally lock every single one of them up and force them to watch and re-watch their most evil acts,with a tape recorder running constantly saying "Your behavior is rotten and unacceptable" playing over and over. I would figure out a way to force them to look at themselves and their motives.
@@blueberrydefendersuperb1606 What I have resolved to do is to forgive myself, but to never excuse, rationalize, or FORGIVE them for the destruction they've caused in my life. I sub-consciously subject them to eternal spiritual bondage as punishment for what they've done. I remind myself everyday that I deserve justice for all the hurt and pain - they must hurt and be in pain in return, without any respite.
It is amazing to listen and understand the definition of a Narcissists person. I understand why for 16 years I had to endure my ex-wife personality. Luckily she did me big favored by cheating on me, and find another man or else I would continue the horrible life she dammed. Well now I understand she is a Narcissistic person.
Thank you for posting this! My ex was not only a liar & cheater, but was the covert narcissist. He appeared way too good to be true, good looking, successful & very charming! He played on my emotions so good I was blaming myself for things I didn't even do just so he wouldn't be upset. He bragged on himself a lot & because he's mom abandoned him at 5 he blamed the women in his life for it including me. I have a feeling he will come back into my life only because I'm a massage therapist & he was a former client (I pray he doesn't). But at least when he cheated & left I wasn't too destroyed, but I hope anyone who is in a relationship with a narc gets out fast cause no matter how much you love them, how hard you pray for change or even begging them to love you back it will never happen!
Just another point I'd like to make, empaths like giving and can in turn get attention from others, Narcissists and the likes can do the same but for very different reasons Empaths and Narcissists are total opposites but to those unknowing might easily mistake a Narcissist, Sociopath for being an Empath. These cluster b's mimic a human being with real feelings so well, they are literally milking the system, in that if they mirror who you are and convince others that they are this kind, loving, caring person, until someone gets to see their mask drop, that person will be so conditioned that they will take on the negative parts of the narcissist thinking "what is wrong with me?" When the only thing 'wrong' with you is that they have violated your very being and with you being so empathic, loving, caring and they take those qualities from you and start to own them, do a smear campaign on you, often long before they discard you. You wake up one day and say what is going on??? It's too late because by the time you ask yourself that question those toxic vampires have already groomed others, your family, your friends, work colleagues etc Try get everyone to believe you, no chance, some who really know you may do but generally people would find it hard to believe that this 'charming, friendly, kind, helpful' person would do such a thing. Cognitive dissonance has a big part to play as well as those toxic fucks playing the game of life so well Thank god I woke up and got out but the trail of destruction they leave behind is like the remains of a war, you just have to pick up the pieces, leave those behind who side with them, heal and move on..
This is true what you mentioned. I have no idea before what a Narcissist is and now it is too late for me to know them. The damage is too big that I start to doubt myself why this could happened misusing and damaging my daughters, all friendscircle and some family members turned against me. I am suffering very much from these experiences I have at present that they want me to be isolated and be alone. They took the control of my daughters to do things against me and I even lost my job because a new colleague woman work together with them to dug me down to the ground and she manipulated everyone in my working place that she gets lots of power and control and get what she wants to remove me from my job starting manipulating my job and making me very little to everyone and nobody believes me even the boss of what she is doing secretly and turn out that I am the bad one and twist everything she did.
Remember, there are many problems with academic or medical theories in psychology. The truth is found in people who have had experiences with these people.
Co-Dependents are infuriating because you cannot convince them that they are being used, lied to, conned, and cheated by the Narcissist. Often, they turn against you for trying to inform them for their own protection.
That's not always the case. I know now that I am a co-dependent. And I figured it out because of covert narc that told me that I demand too much of her attention. Was a pretty scary moment.
The whole interview was amazing but I love how she ended by adding any animal that has suffered. Because the abuse does not end with humans they project it at animals as well.
I must say i react to Rosenbergs definition of "Projection", because "I spot it i got it" obviously does not hold, simply because it would mean that everybody who see a negative trait in some one else does not necessary hold that trait! Projection is putting a part of your self in others, end of story. The moment you start identify with that trait in the other person, its another defense in play, namely Projective identification. If i see a person lying, it does not mean i am lying, but if i am lying and project my lying on another person: "you are lying" its a projection. And if i manipulate that person to be lying, and identify with that lying, its projective identification. I think what Rosenberg is talking about is projective identification, identifying your own behaviour in an object. Then "I spot it i got it" makes sense. And projective identification, THAT is a typical narcissistic trait.
No, he said that "I spot I got it" is present in people who are too ashamed to accept the flaws in themselves. So not everyone would experience this, just people with core trauma.
Absolutely! So how do you avoid the Narcissist if not to spot them? Quite a conundrum. Aren't we here learning so we can do just that? So instead of protecting ourselves we are now wondering if we are Narcissists ourselves or don't want to be bad people cuz we spotted a bad person? Yeah, that was annoying.
Ms. Chapin sounds more calm than last time around, not interrupting Rosenberg like she did before. Sounds like a major improvement and that maybe she took the critiques that were made to heart and did something constructive with them. And as always Ross is awesome & super knowledgeable - I could listen to his calming, informative voice and learn something new each time I do.
Hi Dianna, The second interview of three I have done with Ross, whom I respect and consider a good friend, was just before the Holidays and I was not in the Radio Station where the quality is controlled and the sound is clear. Instead, I was off-site and I was rushed [traveling] and interviewed without my notes and even the book to refer to on a very bad telephone line where I could not clearly hear Ross, and thus, it sounded like I was interrupting him. That particular interview was, over all, not the quality that my own show has broadcast on the radio for several years. It was my fault for doing the interview without the proper off-site equipment. As a courtesy to Ross and to his important message, I invited him to return after the holidays to essentially re-record the show and re-broadcast a good quality show that would reach many more people who might need this encouragement. The second interview you are referring to, with its distorted audio quality, was alerted to me via email from one of my own listeners. This third interview is back in the radio studio and that is why the quality is professional and thus, the message is clear.
Ginger Leilani Chapin hi thanks for explaining further. I was so turned off by that interview but it's good to know exactly what happened. Didn't mean to rag on you or anything was just giving my impressions. This one is far superior and I've listened to it three times now :)
please pple if you are reading this then you are either one of these pple or with one. i can not explain how serious this is. they will destroy u and your family and everything they touch. run...run...run...run FAST
I'm an empath in healing, grew up in abusive cruel hell house with narc BPD mother and sociopath father and older sister. Grandparents also covert narcs. All my exes were covert narcs, and in the younger days they were sociopathic. I've been through hell let me tell you, I should write a book cause dam I can't believe I'm still alive, it was really that bad. It's been quite the journey and I'm in a good place now. Learning self love and happy to be alone. Working on myself. Can easily spot the narc now that I'm educated and dam they're everywhere, I most certainly am a magnet for them being a caretaker... I have young child, single mom, have a farm and lots of loving pets. But narcs see that and want me to care for them! Oh hell no! Only caring for my child and my pets, that's it. I've turned somewhat cold, no open invitation here. I've gone no contact with narc family members and friends of the past. All gone and I'm guilt free. Putting myself and my needs first and it feels good. Narc mother tries to manipulate and guilt me, but I call her out right away and she hangs up me. My only contact with her is a monthly phone call which usually ends bad. She's the only narc I keep contact with but it's very minimal because she was probably the most toxic of them all. So hard when it's your mom. She can't see her disorder, she truly believes it's everyone else and she sees herself as a victim and has gross amount of pity for herself. She was a witch and would say and do the meanest things, I'll never forget. It sets me free. Remember the bad things, don't block them out, it what's going to protect you. Be angry, it will keep you safe. I am teaching my child all about these kinds of people so she won't ever have to go through what I went through. I love her more than myself, she's my rock, and thank God she is empathic, loving, caring and kind. She knows the pain of my past and I have shielded her from my toxic family. Sadly, her dad is an alcoholic narc and she knows it. He only sees her once a month and I have to be there. We meet in a public park for brief visit. She's handling it quite well. She saw his nasty side and he put her great danger driving her around drunk. There is power in the court system and I put him in his place. I stood up to that bully and will never tolerate his abuse ever again. So she's ok with all the boundaries I have in place. She sees me as a strong woman that won't put up with ANY bad behavior. I'm in control of my life and no one gonna mess with me or my child. I am stronger than I've ever been, no narc getting through ever again!
The comment section on this is the greatest. I've had to teach myself words like: "gaslighting" in order to understand what's going on with these types of pathologies. I read these comments and find reassurance that so many others have struggled+ and succeeded+ in understanding before me and along with me. I'll add here that the society I live in is a GD engineered incubation chamber for these pathologies to foster. I'd like to be a part of changing that within my lifetime.
My ex , was so calm. easy going , together understanding , caring . That is her armour . Under that , contention , envy , malicious, cruel , sadistic . They project that onto you , and their very manipulative , and i fell for it , She is just like mom , my foster mother , who went to her grave maitaining the false narrative . Its sad really , they never truly live . Discernment comes , after our world is shattered , then we are faced with reality.
we like peopel who hurt us because we seek their approval and validation...we chase them to stop them from hurting to us to find out why we don't deserve their good treatment
Well, this is masochistic behavior. If you have a history of dysfunctional relationships, trauma, or other Cluster B relationships this may be a fairly accurate assesment. However, not all individuals who find themselves in relationships with Cluster Bs are masochistic- but we can end up looking that way. At a certain point in the relationship, an individual with a healthy personality who possesses a combination of very positive traits, a few of them being high level of empathy, open mindedness, ability to deeply committ, and competitiveness, will use their traits to try to repair or get some sort of closure on the relationship (not realizing its it is toxic and unable to be repaired and that it is not a bad patch in a normal relationship, but its a pathological relationship.) After a relationship with a very high functioning Cluster B, a typcial person can appear dysfunctional and masochistic without a history of actually being so. High functioning Cluster B's will test and manipulate their partners until they find their weaknesses- which all humans have! For many of us, who were strong, upbeat, free thinking, and succesful before the Cluster B, the only sore spot we possessed was a high level of conscientiousness in perhaps only one or two specific areas of our lives which care deeply about and align ourselves with. Traits that make us feel authentic. All the Cluster B has to do is plant the seed that we at one time or another did not care enough or do enough, were not entirely reasonable or thorough enough, did not dot all of the i's or cross all of the t's- (who does not do that from time to time). A conscientous and reflective person who ADMIRES the Cluster B will consider those insinuations, and before you know it begin to engage in repetive self incriminations until you are looking at yourself from an entirely different perspective and evaluating yourself from an entirely foreign system of beliefs- the Cluster Bs. . At that point, you have become a stranger to yourself, and even if you have not explicityly appointed your Cluster B as the expert of you, if you quietly ponder whether what they are saying is true or not, they will take that as admission of their superiority on the issue. You conceded your equal status even though you did not know it. I think in these situations, these non masochistic individuals may appear masochistic as they try to right the wrongs, but I think they are trying to reconnect with the selves they were prior to the Cluster B (which is also what they felt prior to knowing the Cluster B and at the same time the honeymoon phase was occuring), and less trying to get validation from the Cluster B that the Cluster B was not wrong about them, although there may be a bit of that too but it is not the over arching motivation of the non-Cluster B person. Don;t forget, a high functioning Cluster B (one that you admire) through denial goes into pretend mode and turns themselves into your victim, and an empathetic person does not like hurting other peoples feelings. High functioning Cluster Bs are amazing at acting like Codependents. As their objective, and notable skill, is to get you to replace your beliefs with theirs- think as they think, feel as they feel- the ultimate control over another, it stands to reason that non- Codependent and non Masochist people who possess other comibinations of traits can also be at risk for harm by Cluster Bs and display similar behaviors at certain, but often different points in the trajectory of the pathological relationship as a masochistic but non Cluster B individual would. Assuming everyone is masochistic who ends up in a realtionshio with a Cluster B and working in reverse to understand the relationship in that context and thier role in the dynamic is not neccessarily a bad thing, but I dont think it helps people fully understanding the dynamic between their traits and the Cluster B relationship in a way that helps recover from a Cluster B relationship and protect themselves in the future from other patholocial, aggressive, or manipulative relationships. I do think your comment is insightful still. I am not a psychologist, though I am recovering from a relationship with a Cluster B.
I have read his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome. It is very revealing and helps codependents understand why they are attracted to narcissists and vice versa.
This is such an excellent video. The intelligent questions, the intelligent answers. As I am now fairly addicted to buying books on narcissism, I shall probably go ahead and buy the kindle version. They say that knowledge is power and I think that if you can identify the outrageous behaviour of one personality in the family then you can see how it filters down to other members (in an effort to cope, maybe). Sadly, going 'no or low contact' is probably the best option but the knowledge, and the observing from a distance, does help you cope.
After years of abuse in a dysfunctional family setting, then a dysfunctional marriage, this is my latest thought process. Even though it was obvious these people were not right, now I clearly see how I was set-up for failure. It caused emotional anxiety, and the need for stability. The takeaway message is that the need for stability remains, and is almost complete. I'm nearly 50, and has been quite some trip. Luckily having persistence, vision, and self-esteem won there. I wish everyone all the best of luck. Recovery is an ongoing process known as life. It's given us all a perfect opportunity for true growth, and taught many valuable lessons, such as evil taking on many forms, illusions, etc. Always hold on to the positives which comes out of all this, to give it value. All the suffering was not for nothing. Obviously I'm not thanking the narcs, just defeating them in my mind for good. I invite you all to join me in doing the same. Let's keep it simple: Now we know what badness is, keep away from it! Life is a learning curve, no need to feel silly about being deceived in the past. It just patched up a vulnerability. Positive futures now... Just be cautious about letting people close again. Enjoy your day. 😎✌❤
Not helpful since both of my parents and most of their friends were narcissists, some incestuous pedophiles, rich, almost famous, and of course always gossiping behind each others' backs--but still crazy about each other. My parents were very abusive and got away with it. Or maybe you're right. Maybe they didn't like each other. My mother always said love means you need someone. Hey. I just figured out what she meant by that! OK, I take it back. This was helpful after all.
lol 😂 well I’m Scorpio watching this for the same reasons others are and I’m not stinging anyone...One thing is that we’re not just our sun sign, Aries moon and Libra too..funny though
Malignant narcissists are the absolute worst. Take such pleasure of your demise. The silent narcissistic rage where they plot how they are going to destroy you. Over something such as being late for a date, due to there need to control they see this as disrespectful and feel you deserve the evil they unleash onto you.!
I truly truly love your videos Dr. Rosenberg, wow i can't even begin to explain how much I've learned from both your videos & books. Btw I do own both books 🙏
Ms. Chapin asked whether the figure of "one out of five" refers to the incidence of narcissists and sociopaths. "One out of five people" (20%) will suffer some type of mental illness, whether that is anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia or a personality disorder, but the percentage of the population that suffers from any given disorder tends to be one to two percent. Excellent interview. I have never heard anyone ask about whether all therapists are equally qualified to treat these disorders, let alone a clear answer.
Amen amen thank you both very much these individuals the things they will do is so demonic especially when it is unimaginable stay in prayer and safe 🙏🙏🏿🙏🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏💜
sociopaths have an unconscious attachment to old feelings of being marginalized and rejected. Their narcisistic and manipulative behavior is a psychological defense used to hide their unconscious entanglement with these negative emotions of unworthiness.
When you are living with a narcissistic partner, everything is hard because that person love doing wrong things, love to use and manipulate others. Selfish wants to seek fuel. And love cheating they are ware of being a user, abuser and a manipulator.
Great discussion very informative information I advise the commenters who think they've been a victim of someone with a Personality disorder to pay close attention and take notes because Mr. Ross Rosenberg is telling you some good stuff
Thank you. Video's such as this have helped solve my 58 year old mysteries. I'm bipolar and used to be very co dependent. I always knew that I needed to be assertive but had no confidence. I hated myself. Vides's like this have helped me identify the bad people in my life and have given me the freedom to love myself. Thank you.
The perfect job for a narcissistic psychopath is a supervisor because it’s something a covert can do. The more people in the department the better. The employees become his grown up toys to play with.
What an excellent interview. A very informed interviewer. Ross, " A person usually comes to therapy showing symptoms of a deeper problem." That is what a true doctor knows. These medical doctors today try to treat people with prescriptions for the symptom when they should be helping them heal the real problem.
Very best video on this subject. Good information. I am a codependency survivor and my ex is a sociopath...after seeing this video I am able to differentiate between the different types . I am currently practicing self love techniques to survive the abuse of my narssitistic mother. Thank you dearly
😭😢 I am so grateful for this information. It makes so much sense. I am planning to leave for the third and final time. If only I had access to this before.
I repeatedly hear that the codependent is attracted to the narc and find themselves in relationships with them. I am a classical codependent, when I reflect, I'm have always been open to open people. I have been fairly indiscriminate about who I let in. I would put it that the narc is attracted to my openness, low esteem, need for friends and indiscriminate choice of friends/partners.
umm. I suggest they're attracted to the idea that you will tolerate abuse. That's what is most attractive to narcissists. they're not attracted to people who have high self esteem. People who have high self esteem are usually fairly picky about who they let in
Agreed, its mutual as with any predator, they seek out weak. Though in this case, weak is gentle and kind. Abuse that comes in many forms, such as control and power. I do have my limits and will enforce boundaries.
+Lee Hill ive studied them for years too. I find them endlessly fascinating the same way I find the idea of snakes shedding their skin (because it's not capable of stretching), fascinating. I feel compassion for them and gratitude that I'm not one of them. I don't know why it's possible for 'normal' looking people to survive to adulthood, get degrees and jobs or careers, become a parent etc etc and be emotionally stunted at age 2 years or possibly even younger. but my main interest is in how many other 'normal' looking adults have survived etc etc and not have developed the skills or self esteem or whatever it is you need to sense AND ACT ON THEIR INTUITION that the narcissist is playing a role at all times. Why can't we empaths see through it? Why do we tolerate years of abuse? Why don't we see clearly whats really going on? Are we spectacularly stupid or are they spectacularly cunning, or both?!
@@outofthegoldfishbowletcete762 YOU hit the nail on the head with your last sentence. Both empath and narc are equally emotional stunted. Only we can change to go from stupid to smart. Why would someone go from smart to stupid.when you acquire both sides of the polarity you become whole which equals wholeness which equals consciousness.YES ..YES WE ARE SPECTACULARLY STUPID AND THEY ARE SPECTACULARLY CLEVER. 😅🐻🎅🌉⏪🔼⏩🏭🌇
Cluster B, but mostly Narcissistic. We don't realise we're doing until it starts to fail. Once an argument, or serious discussion starts then you start to realise you've been pretending and have been caught. Now you're on a timeline, 1 to 2 years max before it breaks down irreparably. Easy to do when one is young, but once you get to 50+ added with chronic depression you become some what blase. Knowing why one is why one is helps a little bit, but ultimately you have to get through the emotional issues somehow. Actually believing that statement would be an achievement in its self right now.
There you go... no empathy for the other, just yourself. after age 25 or 30 and several relationships I think most do know... they are not surprised by ...oh I have been faking.... not because the patterns repeat across the relationships, and from Narcissist to narcissist... Idealization, mirroring, denigration, ghosting, discard, (hoovers) --- after say relationship 3, 4, 5, 6? you prob had a clue, from the pain and disruption to the life of the other in the relationship? Or maybe not, didn't notice! ?
Robin Smith exactly. The first few relationships they probably don’t understand. But after several failed relationships that play out exactly the same. They have to know. They don’t want to admit it. These are incredible smart intelligent people.
I do like listening to what you say, because you have hit the nail on the head. My Dad was a Narcissists & I never could please either parents & I was like the black sheep of the Family & I am a believer in Christ Jesus, but never was wanted or loved. So when a person who isn’t Loved by there parents asks Jesus into there hearts. Jesus comes & fills that gap. And when a person has the Love of God within, this is very healing. I have written a book called: “POETRY FOR HURTING PEOPLE” & I have written 19 songs for Children, Praise & Worship Songs all to the Glory of God. Even to my Dad’s dying day, he again told me to leave. He was beaten as a Child or young Adult so he had much hurt in him. As we forgive, we are forgiven. So we must look beyond our hurt & find out the reason behind one’s parents not Loving you & then a person can forgive them & be forgiven themselves in Jesus Name!!!
I would add that there is a lack of moral shame and fear of wrongdoing, and they often tell deliberate lie to win over co-dependent people. In my practice I have seen teens with NPD put social worker on the back of the foster parent or guardian, and split up marriages and relationships by going behind one party setting limits to feed the exact emotional need of another and also get their own narcissistic supply/reward met. Main thing is to recognize and directly address this addictive behavior patterns skillfully.
I have personally met 2 men who became caretakers of sick people, which I later but quickly discovered were sick in this manner in order to feed their attention seeking behavior , and deep seated need for attention and importance. I have personally met 2 males who were suffering from narcissism, and in this profession of care taking they are needed desperately, and made to feel desperately important which feeds their sick needs.
Narcs lack remorse. The area of the brain that utilizes remorse is the frontal lobe. It would be interesting to see an MRI ( frontal lobe readings)on these Narcs
When you described "pathological care-giver" and how they occur(might have been in a previous video. I've been listening to a string of them, this morning.)...boom! I can own that. I sort of knew, but somehow that phrase and your description, made it click a bit more firmly. Tony Robbins talks about the basic human needs, one of them being contribution. He says that different people hold those needs in a different hierarchical order. I always thought a feeling of contribution was just a dominant need, for me. Hmmm. I love to do something awesome for someone, that's more than what they expected. I read in the old timey success books, to always "go-the-extra-mile" It's even biblical instruction, in how to be a good person. I find narcissists get disappointed or really ticked off, when you anticipate their needs and surpass them. They want you to fail or at least be mediocre & try to set you up, with no-win situations.
Outstanding!! My personal experiences are exact. I'm more concerned of when they're in the church, the people of God, mixing in looking for victums. They even whine to God repeatidly for what they want/wanted after making consistant donations. My mother, an evangelist, holds the crown for narcissitic behavior. And the church cult she attends passify's her ego. Don't tell her she's wrong or she'll bring Gods wrath on you. We take care of her anyway because she's our mother and she doesn't know any better. Its more painful to watch and hear her created sufferings althought she lives well, better then most people.
The covert narc is the worst. In psychological evals he came out as "paranoid" and the other party (mother) came out as narcissistic. Can you tell how "paranoid" diagnosis is also narcissistic. He was definitely a sociopath, but it took so long to get it after my positive projection. So busy helping and fighting for him as the victim of the narc, that I completely missed he was a narc too. Unfortunately, he alienated my step-daughter with all the ridiculous set ups narcs are known to do. I was chosen for custody so both the paranoid/father and narcissistic/mother for 10 years (of her 11 year life) whispered in her ears and set us up so they could totally control her. PLEASE TEACH ABOUT THE PARANOID person so no one else misses this and wastes 10 years of their life like I did!!!! AND PRAY FOR THIS POOR CHILD WHO HAS TWO NARC PARENTS - court ordered psychologist determined, not my opinion.
Coverts are sociopaths, sociopaths are very aware of what they are doing unlike a straight narcissists. Sociopaths are making a conscious choice not to have empathy, they know the things they are doing are wrong or they wouldn’t hide their deeds, they wouldn’t be engaged in pre meditated acts . So they are aware , they are choosing to do evil things. My ex covert told me when he was about 7 he saw a toddler crying and he said he was happy that the child was in distress and crying, he was glad the child was in pain. This is very telling that a covert would be enjoying seeing someone in pain. This is very sadistic behavior that he was well aware of. I do believe my ex laced my coffee to make me violently I’ll because I called him out on trying to pick up a girl right in front of me. Coverts are aware and sociopathic
I show about 99% of the symptoms of sociopathy, I even get an itch and the back of my head that makes me want to seriously hurt everyone around and in specific and calculated ways, rage like but thought out and, not on impulse. It doesn't happen too often but it happens enough for that matter. I learned to accept it
Thank you for sharing I thought I was just going crazy myself but I have a narcissist it took me so long to figure that out but he is like that because what he do to me I feel it in every bone in my body that something's not right here so I dig in to why things are happening the way they are and I came across this RUclipsr about Narcissus because I'm just typing in how I feel why I'm feeling like that and then this came up Narcissus and as I watch more name a kind of click in my mind that all my gosh I have a narcissus but I didn't realize there's more than just one narcissist thank you for sharing
I agree with the interviewer..."some" doctors/medical professionals. "doctor's orders" "Yes, doctor...yes, doctor." Women patients, tend to trust and comply. I knew one who actually told me, some of the things he'd make female athletes do, for his own "pleasure".
I don't think it's so simple as a care taker and care needer. My pathological narcissistic mother. Pretends to be a caretaker to the outside world and vanity signals this at every chance and plenty of gaslighting whilst being needy and manipulative to have these needs met with no respect to anyone else.
Ross please consider doing a video about the Co's leaving the N and ending up with a N lawyer. This is a cat and mouse trap which Co's should be aware of. Love your work and looking forward to you new book.
+Heather Stewart oh I get ya. I was just curious because ex narc went to a lawyer. Kinda the vice versa. But I can see it happening to a co since that dynamic would be a real push-pull
I hated having to apologize for his behavior. His words!🤬. His voice🤮. The sound of his voice is in my brain! I’ve been no contact for years, and I still can’t hear his voice. If he’s at a Birthday party for grandchildren and he starts talking, I have to walk out!
What would you say about someone who finishes your sentences for you? The impatience to listen to another person complete their sentences. Also, when in conversation, I had a partner who would begining their responses with "Its not that, its this" every single interaction
I don't know what to do.. My anxiety is through the roof! I have been in a relationship with a sociopath/covert narcissistic for 14 years, I've known for most of the time, but now have the terms. I just want to help and want better for them. I may be boarding co-dependant idk.. anyway I have caught onto a couple other people trying to play the guy I'm with and use his ego..they realized I've realized and now are slandering me..lying like crazy, trying to make me look just about opposite of how I am, but how they are being. Trying to discredit me ahead of time in case I expose them. I can't even get my words together right now. I feel I'm barely hanging on. I feel trapped. I've realized that often I may just like to see how much I can take..like to feel like I'm strong or.. maybe "better than"😕?? But everyone around me is believing the liars and I have been so quiet and isolated so long that it feels no one has anything else to know. And some who knew me before seem to just think that I've changed. I am in a trap. God help me
No matter what I do I cannot get away from these people ,I raised by serious narcs at least my dad was.I married some ,went out with some and lived with one that like myself was a co dependent one .I work with them ,I have children with some serious issues too.I was a victim to most of my 15 siblings in the worse ways ,my poor daughter was driven to an emotionally breakdown in July by her two aunts on the job along with their flying monkeys.One being my insane brother who I had committed 3 times,got him my old apartment in which I lied to get him in.He destroyed the other apartment bad and of course he took no accountability for his actions ,sells drugs and does them self medication.Now my poor daughter is being a victim to two make narcs ,I try to educate her but her mind not operating correcting since that breakdown.One is using his money to try to get my daughter affection she likes him only as a friend ,he fooled me for a long time having his masked on tight ,but I finally unmasked it and now he is against me and trying to turn people against me ,he never had sex in years and needs that fixed trying to.get it from my gullible daughter ,he comes to my house yelling at me says I'm howling because he raises my aniexty level I have GAD and bipolar in which I take sole responsibility for all my bad judgements,he thinks he knows it all ,I will not bow down to their insanity ,my daughter thinks I'm sick ,projection ,delusional.I will beat them all at all their mind games ,I been going through this insanity my whole life being an empath and compassion was against my nature,after my six yrs old daughter was killed my vulnerability was exploited in the worse ways not even an innocent child could stop their insanity.I overcame against all odds ,with TRUTH SETTING ME FREE.THANKS MY SAVIOR FOR MY DELIVERANCE FROM IGNORANCE,bondage to trauma .🙏
This is similar to a Jezebel Spirit where the Jezebel must be in control or else he/she reacts by extreme measures such as crying hysterical like a sad victim or the opposite end of the spectrum is using rage or rejection until you submit. Expecting perfection in others and relationships, yet never finding it then showing extreme disappointment. intruth.org has cool breakdown that's easy to understand.
Never write about narcissists unless you are a child of one. Love people that hurt them? Stockholm syndrome. Now statics, NPD is never diagnosed. So grow up! Yes the profession of narcs is therapists and psychiatrists. Hence this guy, buy the games people play instead. A great section on these narcs who write about what they don't know.
Early childhood trauma from a narc parent/caregiver can create both codependent as well as narcissism disorders in the offspring. What about mothers with post partum depression? Might that create the same dynamic?
Oh, how I would love to sit down in a room and talk about my situation - and much to regret my relationship with a narcissistic man. Yes Ross - he really was to good to be true!My codependency has developed throughout my upbringing with a sister (14 monts older) who totally dominated and very often loved to ridicule and abuse me! Our mother was left alone the very day after having given birth to our little sister ( 2 years younger than me) He went home and took his own life after having seen his wonderful little girl!I had to spent time in a hospital 2-4 times with a skin disease - and because I lacked attention from my primary care giver - Mummy ( whom I did love dearly) I tried to gain attention in stupid ways in school fx My teacher was a spinster and not very warmhearted. She arranged for me to spend some months in a psyciatric hospital for kids, in order to examine my behaviour & brain. The only result I recall was, that my mother told me that Hurrah I was totally normal!! I was also put into a children's home right after our Dad committed suiside. Every summer we spent 1-2 months in a large children's home - established in order to give kids from the big cities a chance to get fresh air at the beach and forrest. But again nurses, nurses and nurses to take care of my needs and upbringing.I could go on and on Mr. Rosenberg. y greaat fortune is that I am a believing christian and that I enjoy the fellowship in my church. Here we can talk things out in the light - understand and embrace one another - and not least pray to our heavenly Father and be heard and helped.
I have been recovering from one Narc after another after another after another and so on. Even after I started to find out about this disease that once they've been infected by it, women that is, it isn't curable. However, even with all this knowledge and wisdom I've gained and thought I had been well equipped to look for the early tell tale signs and became better at reading and evaluating a room full of people and so forth. I came up with an idea in order to find out who the covert Narc's were in the room. I would quickly surprise the room full of people having already cued up one of your videos on the topic but didn't let them see the title as to make no one feel otherwise odd. Since everyone has got a video to show everyone else its completely normal to do so. Then I hit play and stand out of the way towards the back of the room and something very interesting begins to occur. It wasn't just a one time event, the pattern repeated itself everytime I did this and I've done it now dozens of times. The video starts and literally as soon as the words Narcissistic Abuse or any other variation of the word is spoken...I'm not kidding you more than half the room jumps up and each person literally runs from the room all in different directions like an alarm went off. If there was say 10 people in the room at least 7 of them would leave and leave without saying a word at all just eyes and heads down and they're gone. Its as if every single one of them already had an escape route pre-planned or something. The only ones left in the room watching the video with their full attention are the real human beings that I can feel safe to be around and after the 8 or 9min video is over we would all engage in discussion on the topic intensely. You can say it was therapeutic and the information having been shared has allowed for a sort of unspoken bond created between myself and those who remained. Not only that but even these few souls all noticed and mentioned how strange it was as soon as the video began to play more than half the room cleared out. Giving insight as to who we the few need to watch out for and not fall for these others suggestions or trickery or manipulations or anything. It's so awesome because all of a sudden we the few have gained a conjoined force if you will and almost with a better sense of confidence and awareness actually went looking for those who've left the room to see what's up with them. Find out what they were doing, even mention how awesome the video was and beneficial for all to see. We would even ask the tough questions like why didn't you guys stick around to see the video? You didn't even excuse yourselves after knowing there was a video I wanted to show everyone? It was F'in amazing to see every one of them squirm, externally showing signs of anxiety, stress, making excuses as to why they left, flat out lying to our faces even and only when we the united few saw they had enough of being prosecuted, we would go back to having a good time, completely ignoring the rest and taking over the space completely to ourselves and began to have a blast. And wouldn't you know it everyone of them left or snuck out without saying a word to anyone including the host who's home we were all invited by to begin with. I've got more to say but I'll stop right here and say thank you for all that you do.
In your professional opinion. do malignant/covert narcissists always "Hoover" former discarded partners especially after a long relationship with them. If so what are some of the telltale signs that it's about to happen or has already begun?
when they contact you. Msybe pretending nothing hspprned, maybr apologizing, maybe lying about how much they miss you. And it can happen years I mean YEARS after the so called relationship ended. They keep a stock of exes up their sleeve for a rainy day...
and btw if they don't contact you it's because they're working on their next source of supply and/or punishing you for the crime of leaving them with the "silent trestment". They DON'T miss you except as a source of supply
You just have to learn to enjoy your own company, get over your fear of being alone and just dump the trash out.
So true.
You will be relieved when you finally dump them. Do it NOW!
Not easy for ppl like us. Been trying since 17..it isnt like a switch
Thats me, I was subjected to that relationship. My mother is a narcissist. My sister and I had a loveless, joyless, and isolated upbringing. I've had horrible relationships with men. It is truly toxic to be around these people. Loving myself is a daily challenge.
Cayenne Anela Love and Light to you
It‘s sad it‘s inevitable narcissists become parents....
Deep into the minds of a narcissist is a misnomer. They are very shallow people.
false, narcissist are like many other people with several aspects and aspirations. Just because they aren't caring doesn't mean they aren't complex.
@Snow Flake All people are predictable. You act as if people are special. In reality everyone follows what everyone else is doing. The average person cannot think for themselves.
Lol, I was just about to comment the exact same thing.
Yes. Can't be very deep
@@jeffdom123 not the one I was unfortunately to get to know
There is a massive percentage of people drawn into a relationship with manipulators who are not codependent and have had a good childhood
Anybody can be tricked, (even narcissists themselves sometimes) and this is because they are not known in society. You don't learn it in school or anything.
It's like being a sheep your whole life, on a farm, surrounded by other sheep, when suddenly you meet a wolf dressed as a sheep. After you find out it is a wolf you go to your other sheep friends and say "see? See!"
But they don't see what you see so they just reply "No, it's just a sheep."
Normal human brains cannot comprehend such evil even exists. I sure didn't believe until my ex's mask fully came off and I'd say my family was normal and my childhood was good.
Agree..check out George Simon...author of the best seller book "in sheeps clothing"..he makes no excuses for their bad behaviour and nor should we imho....hard to accept tho.
@@specialtwice4975s, normal people can’t process and understand this evil! Evidently I grew up with malignant/covert mother but I just recently found out about narcissism and that is only because I was in a relationship with a narcissist for a year. The relationship was so strange and destructive and I lived in a narcissistic fog witch I found out later. I couldn’t understand why he lied about petty things, twisted everything until I forgot what we were arguing about. He was master of chaos and destruction and I saw that through the fog but I didn’t know how to brake free. I was confused of my confusion literally. Now I know about their pattern like word salad, deflection, blaming etc that causes this brain fog.
It was the betrayal and knives in my back that finally made me react and I called him out witch is a long story! 🙄🙄🙄 After I kicked him out the brain fog slowly faded away and I started to research toxic relationship and when I saw videos about narcissism it hit me about my parents. My childhood was a nightmare and still my brain cannot understand this evil. 🤯🤯🤯 I swear they are demon possessed, I know what I saw when they raged!
“Self-projection” (vs self “reflection”) kept Narcissus from recognizing himself in his mirrored image.
He saw the image as if it were an ‘other-than’ himself-the only object worthy of his affection. He was blind to his version of ‘the sound of one hand clapping’ futility: of loving the self without the polarity of its implied “other.”
He tried, but couldn’t love himself directly. (He couldn’t be the direct object of his own experience. No more, say, than a tongue can taste itself.) With a touch, his water born image was lost to distortion.
The psychopath will use every situation,( no matter how bad that situation is at that time), to force it into an opportunity to gain attention.I know i was once "married" to someone with behavior such as this. Once, after I had 'escaped' and left him with no contact, our son was hospitalized. My ex then tried his best to turn that situation into an opportunity to cause me more pain and suffering, in an attempt to gain attention for himself! It is always about them, everything...and every situation is an opportunity for that! A complete lack of empathy, compassion or any healthy emotions and feelings.
It literally makes my stomach turn over and a nauseous feeling comes over me when I see sociopaths do. It's frightening just how disconnected they are and the fact they'll destroy others even if they destroy themselves in the process. It is severe psychopathology. It's like they KNOW they're bad , and subconsciously have to destroy themselves as well. I think that deep down,they are aware they deserve utter and complete destruction. If I could personally lock every single one of them up and force them to watch and re-watch their most evil acts,with a tape recorder running constantly saying "Your behavior is rotten and unacceptable" playing over and over. I would figure out a way to force them to look at themselves and their motives.
@@blueberrydefendersuperb1606 What I have resolved to do is to forgive myself, but to never excuse, rationalize, or FORGIVE them for the destruction they've caused in my life. I sub-consciously subject them to eternal spiritual bondage as punishment for what they've done. I remind myself everyday that I deserve justice for all the hurt and pain - they must hurt and be in pain in return, without any respite.
It is amazing to listen and understand the definition of a Narcissists person. I understand why for 16 years I had to endure my ex-wife personality. Luckily she did me big favored by cheating on me, and find another man or else I would continue the horrible life she dammed. Well now I understand she is a Narcissistic person.
So much more awareness of this harmful condition is needed and support for victims. Victim blaming must stop as well.
I am not a victim I am a survivor and a thriver I do not label myself or categories myself in this way at all
Thank you for posting this! My ex was not only a liar & cheater, but was the covert narcissist. He appeared way too good to be true, good looking, successful & very charming! He played on my emotions so good I was blaming myself for things I didn't even do just so he wouldn't be upset. He bragged on himself a lot & because he's mom abandoned him at 5 he blamed the women in his life for it including me. I have a feeling he will come back into my life only because I'm a massage therapist & he was a former client (I pray he doesn't). But at least when he cheated & left I wasn't too destroyed, but I hope anyone who is in a relationship with a narc gets out fast cause no matter how much you love them, how hard you pray for change or even begging them to love you back it will never happen!
He cant come back into your life unless you let him!
TheLadymac1982
100% true and they can be very dangerous if they want something and you get in their way
Just another point I'd like to make, empaths like giving and can in turn get attention from others, Narcissists and the likes can do the same but for very different reasons
Empaths and Narcissists are total opposites but to those unknowing might easily mistake a Narcissist, Sociopath for being an Empath. These cluster b's mimic a human being with real feelings so well, they are literally milking the system, in that if they mirror who you are and convince others that they are this kind, loving, caring person, until someone gets to see their mask drop, that person will be so conditioned that they will take on the negative parts of the narcissist thinking "what is wrong with me?"
When the only thing 'wrong' with you is that they have violated your very being and with you being so empathic, loving, caring and they take those qualities from you and start to own them, do a smear campaign on you, often long before they discard you.
You wake up one day and say what is going on???
It's too late because by the time you ask yourself that question those toxic vampires have already groomed others, your family, your friends, work colleagues etc
Try get everyone to believe you, no chance, some who really know you may do but generally people would find it hard to believe that this 'charming, friendly, kind, helpful' person would do such a thing. Cognitive dissonance has a big part to play as well as those toxic fucks playing the game of life so well
Thank god I woke up and got out but the trail of destruction they leave behind is like the remains of a war, you just have to pick up the pieces, leave those behind who side with them, heal and move on..
This is true what you mentioned. I have no idea before what a Narcissist is and now it is too late for me to know them. The damage is too big that I start to doubt myself why this could happened misusing and damaging my daughters, all friendscircle and some family members turned against me. I am suffering very much from these experiences I have at present that they want me to be isolated and be alone. They took the control of my daughters to do things against me and I even lost my job because a new colleague woman work together with them to dug me down to the ground and she manipulated everyone in my working place that she gets lots of power and control and get what she wants to remove me from my job starting manipulating my job and making me very little to everyone and nobody believes me even the boss of what she is doing secretly and turn out that I am the bad one and twist everything she did.
Remember, there are many problems with academic or medical theories in psychology. The truth is found in people who have had experiences with these people.
100%!
I agree. For instance, these demons know 1000% what they do, and the pain/destruction they cause.
Co-Dependents are infuriating because you cannot convince them that they are being used, lied to, conned, and cheated by the Narcissist. Often, they turn against you for trying to inform them for their own protection.
Frances Haypenny cognitive dissonance is the reason for this. It's a result of the traumatic abuse.
Frances Haypenny
Well too bad I didn't personally know you. 😢
That's not always the case. I know now that I am a co-dependent. And I figured it out because of covert narc that told me that I demand too much of her attention. Was a pretty scary moment.
That is untrue. You may have had your hands full with one too many rebellious teenagers though.
exactly. Try and tell a Trump supporter he is a grifter con man and they are mad. It is so obvious to the outside observer...
Well I hope everybody will heal from this, after 45 years im still hurting.
Me too. Feel like shit most of the time xxxx
45 years! that's incredible.
Mr Akki, I am sorry. Also Daisy Roots, I am sorry.
Verbal abuse is truly devastating....
I’m right at 30 years and very carefully coming up with my exit plan.
The whole interview was amazing but I love how she ended by adding any animal that has suffered. Because the abuse does not end with humans they project it at animals as well.
I must say i react to Rosenbergs definition of "Projection", because "I spot it i got it" obviously does not hold, simply because it would mean that everybody who see a negative trait in some one else does not necessary hold that trait!
Projection is putting a part of your self in others, end of story. The moment you start identify with that trait in the other person, its another defense in play, namely Projective identification.
If i see a person lying, it does not mean i am lying, but if i am lying and project my lying on another person: "you are lying" its a projection. And if i manipulate that person to be lying, and identify with that lying, its projective identification. I think what Rosenberg is talking about is projective identification, identifying your own behaviour in an object. Then "I spot it i got it" makes sense. And projective identification, THAT is a typical narcissistic trait.
No, he said that "I spot I got it" is present in people who are too ashamed to accept the flaws in themselves. So not everyone would experience this, just people with core trauma.
I agree with the original comment because the way it was said was very misleading...
Absolutely! So how do you avoid the Narcissist if not to spot them? Quite a conundrum. Aren't we here learning so we can do just that? So instead of protecting ourselves we are now wondering if we are Narcissists ourselves or don't want to be bad people cuz we spotted a bad person? Yeah, that was annoying.
It has validity as a simple shorthand way of explaining projection, don't over think it
Ms. Chapin sounds more calm than last time around, not interrupting Rosenberg like she did before. Sounds like a major improvement and that maybe she took the critiques that were made to heart and did something constructive with them. And as always Ross is awesome & super knowledgeable - I could listen to his calming, informative voice and learn something new each time I do.
I totally agree
Hi Dianna,
The second interview of three I have done with Ross, whom I respect and consider a good friend, was just before the Holidays and I was not in the Radio Station where the quality is controlled and the sound is clear. Instead, I was off-site and I was rushed [traveling] and interviewed without my notes and even the book to refer to on a very bad telephone line where I could not clearly hear Ross, and thus, it sounded like I was interrupting him. That particular interview was, over all, not the quality that my own show has broadcast on the radio for several years. It was my fault for doing the interview without the proper off-site equipment.
As a courtesy to Ross and to his important message, I invited him to return after the holidays to essentially re-record the show and re-broadcast a good quality show that would reach many more people who might need this encouragement.
The second interview you are referring to, with its distorted audio quality, was alerted to me via email from one of my own listeners.
This third interview is back in the radio studio and that is why the quality is professional and thus, the message is clear.
Ginger Leilani Chapin
hi thanks for explaining further. I was so turned off by that interview but it's good to know exactly what happened. Didn't mean to rag on you or anything was just giving my impressions. This one is far superior and I've listened to it three times now :)
He got cut off mid-talking several times though.
bullies another name for them
please pple if you are reading this then you are either one of these pple or with one. i can not explain how serious this is. they will destroy u and your family and everything they touch. run...run...run...run FAST
im just a sociopath do like to see peoples thaughts helps me learn
I'm an empath in healing, grew up in abusive cruel hell house with narc BPD mother and sociopath father and older sister. Grandparents also covert narcs. All my exes were covert narcs, and in the younger days they were sociopathic. I've been through hell let me tell you, I should write a book cause dam I can't believe I'm still alive, it was really that bad. It's been quite the journey and I'm in a good place now. Learning self love and happy to be alone. Working on myself. Can easily spot the narc now that I'm educated and dam they're everywhere, I most certainly am a magnet for them being a caretaker... I have young child, single mom, have a farm and lots of loving pets. But narcs see that and want me to care for them! Oh hell no! Only caring for my child and my pets, that's it. I've turned somewhat cold, no open invitation here. I've gone no contact with narc family members and friends of the past. All gone and I'm guilt free. Putting myself and my needs first and it feels good. Narc mother tries to manipulate and guilt me, but I call her out right away and she hangs up me. My only contact with her is a monthly phone call which usually ends bad. She's the only narc I keep contact with but it's very minimal because she was probably the most toxic of them all. So hard when it's your mom. She can't see her disorder, she truly believes it's everyone else and she sees herself as a victim and has gross amount of pity for herself. She was a witch and would say and do the meanest things, I'll never forget. It sets me free. Remember the bad things, don't block them out, it what's going to protect you. Be angry, it will keep you safe. I am teaching my child all about these kinds of people so she won't ever have to go through what I went through. I love her more than myself, she's my rock, and thank God she is empathic, loving, caring and kind. She knows the pain of my past and I have shielded her from my toxic family. Sadly, her dad is an alcoholic narc and she knows it. He only sees her once a month and I have to be there. We meet in a public park for brief visit. She's handling it quite well. She saw his nasty side and he put her great danger driving her around drunk. There is power in the court system and I put him in his place. I stood up to that bully and will never tolerate his abuse ever again. So she's ok with all the boundaries I have in place. She sees me as a strong woman that won't put up with ANY bad behavior. I'm in control of my life and no one gonna mess with me or my child. I am stronger than I've ever been, no narc getting through ever again!
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
The comment section on this is the greatest. I've had to teach myself words like: "gaslighting" in order to understand what's going on with these types of pathologies. I read these comments and find reassurance that so many others have struggled+ and succeeded+ in understanding before me and along with me. I'll add here that the society I live in is a GD engineered incubation chamber for these pathologies to foster. I'd like to be a part of changing that within my lifetime.
The scapegoat becomes the codependent, the golden child becomes the narcissist.
Scapegoats are just punching bags for a deranged parent.
My ex , was so calm. easy going , together understanding , caring . That is her armour . Under that , contention , envy , malicious, cruel , sadistic . They project that onto you , and their very manipulative , and i fell for it , She is just like mom , my foster mother , who went to her grave maitaining the false narrative . Its sad really , they never truly live . Discernment comes , after our world is shattered , then we are faced with reality.
It wasn't until I got older that I learned the world is full of good people, it wasn't the way my family made it seem.
Thanks for sharing Toni. You may find helpful this other video from Ross, in case you haven't watched it yet: ruclips.net/video/csk_Mv5DJFY/видео.html
we like peopel who hurt us because we seek their approval and validation...we chase them to stop them from hurting to us to find out why we don't deserve their good treatment
I agree. It's like a drug, so sad.
Well, this is masochistic behavior. If you have a history of dysfunctional relationships, trauma, or other Cluster B relationships this may be a fairly accurate assesment. However, not all individuals who find themselves in relationships with Cluster Bs are masochistic- but we can end up looking that way. At a certain point in the relationship, an individual with a healthy personality who possesses a combination of very positive traits, a few of them being high level of empathy, open mindedness, ability to deeply committ, and competitiveness, will use their traits to try to repair or get some sort of closure on the relationship (not realizing its it is toxic and unable to be repaired and that it is not a bad patch in a normal relationship, but its a pathological relationship.) After a relationship with a very high functioning Cluster B, a typcial person can appear dysfunctional and masochistic without a history of actually being so. High functioning Cluster B's will test and manipulate their partners until they find their weaknesses- which all humans have! For many of us, who were strong, upbeat, free thinking, and succesful before the Cluster B, the only sore spot we possessed was a high level of conscientiousness in perhaps only one or two specific areas of our lives which care deeply about and align ourselves with. Traits that make us feel authentic. All the Cluster B has to do is plant the seed that we at one time or another did not care enough or do enough, were not entirely reasonable or thorough enough, did not dot all of the i's or cross all of the t's- (who does not do that from time to time). A conscientous and reflective person who ADMIRES the Cluster B will consider those insinuations, and before you know it begin to engage in repetive self incriminations until you are looking at yourself from an entirely different perspective and evaluating yourself from an entirely foreign system of beliefs- the Cluster Bs. . At that point, you have become a stranger to yourself, and even if you have not explicityly appointed your Cluster B as the expert of you, if you quietly ponder whether what they are saying is true or not, they will take that as admission of their superiority on the issue. You conceded your equal status even though you did not know it. I think in these situations, these non masochistic individuals may appear masochistic as they try to right the wrongs, but I think they are trying to reconnect with the selves they were prior to the Cluster B (which is also what they felt prior to knowing the Cluster B and at the same time the honeymoon phase was occuring), and less trying to get validation from the Cluster B that the Cluster B was not wrong about them, although there may be a bit of that too but it is not the over arching motivation of the non-Cluster B person. Don;t forget, a high functioning Cluster B (one that you admire) through denial goes into pretend mode and turns themselves into your victim, and an empathetic person does not like hurting other peoples feelings. High functioning Cluster Bs are amazing at acting like Codependents. As their objective, and notable skill, is to get you to replace your beliefs with theirs- think as they think, feel as they feel- the ultimate control over another, it stands to reason that non- Codependent and non Masochist people who possess other comibinations of traits can also be at risk for harm by Cluster Bs and display similar behaviors at certain, but often different points in the trajectory of the pathological relationship as a masochistic but non Cluster B individual would. Assuming everyone is masochistic who ends up in a realtionshio with a Cluster B and working in reverse to understand the relationship in that context and thier role in the dynamic is not neccessarily a bad thing, but I dont think it helps people fully understanding the dynamic between their traits and the Cluster B relationship in a way that helps recover from a Cluster B relationship and protect themselves in the future from other patholocial, aggressive, or manipulative relationships. I do think your comment is insightful still. I am not a psychologist, though I am recovering from a relationship with a Cluster B.
Jenna do Absolutely....and that destroys you. I am currently running away but my heart is broken. I am learning to practice self love.
I have read his book, The Human Magnet Syndrome. It is very revealing and helps codependents understand why they are attracted to narcissists and vice versa.
Dr. Rosenberg is a saint for making these videos. So helpful.
This is such an excellent video. The intelligent questions, the intelligent answers. As I am now fairly addicted to buying books on narcissism, I shall probably go ahead and buy the kindle version. They say that knowledge is power and I think that if you can identify the outrageous behaviour of one personality in the family then you can see how it filters down to other members (in an effort to cope, maybe). Sadly, going 'no or low contact' is probably the best option but the knowledge, and the observing from a distance, does help you cope.
After years of abuse in a dysfunctional family setting, then a dysfunctional marriage, this is my latest thought process. Even though it was obvious these people were not right, now I clearly see how I was set-up for failure. It caused emotional anxiety, and the need for stability. The takeaway message is that the need for stability remains, and is almost complete. I'm nearly 50, and has been quite some trip. Luckily having persistence, vision, and self-esteem won there. I wish everyone all the best of luck. Recovery is an ongoing process known as life. It's given us all a perfect opportunity for true growth, and taught many valuable lessons, such as evil taking on many forms, illusions, etc. Always hold on to the positives which comes out of all this, to give it value. All the suffering was not for nothing. Obviously I'm not thanking the narcs, just defeating them in my mind for good. I invite you all to join me in doing the same. Let's keep it simple: Now we know what badness is, keep away from it! Life is a learning curve, no need to feel silly about being deceived in the past. It just patched up a vulnerability. Positive futures now... Just be cautious about letting people close again. Enjoy your day. 😎✌❤
If you don't get along with a narcissist because you can recognize their traits, doesn't mean that your projecting.
Correct
Yes, now that l have been studying cluster b personality disorder for the past 5 years l can spot them.
Not helpful since both of my parents and most of their friends were narcissists, some incestuous pedophiles, rich, almost famous, and of course always gossiping behind each others' backs--but still crazy about each other. My parents were very abusive and got away with it. Or maybe you're right. Maybe they didn't like each other. My mother always said love means you need someone. Hey. I just figured out what she meant by that! OK, I take it back. This was helpful after all.
This is so good. So much information it’s worth a second listen! 👏👏
Glad it was helpful!
They just described every scorpio I've ever met.
smh you said it.
Black Royals Entertainment Hell yea
Hit the head on the nail..
that sounds like something a gemini narcissist would say
seriously! judging on astrological sign??? i’m sure they exist under every sun sign
lol 😂 well I’m Scorpio watching this for the same reasons others are and I’m not stinging anyone...One thing is that we’re not just our sun sign, Aries moon and Libra too..funny though
Malignant narcissists are the absolute worst. Take such pleasure of your demise. The silent narcissistic rage where they plot how they are going to destroy you. Over something such as being late for a date, due to there need to control they see this as disrespectful and feel you deserve the evil they unleash onto you.!
I truly truly love your videos Dr. Rosenberg, wow i can't even begin to explain how much I've learned from both your videos & books. Btw I do own both books 🙏
Ms. Chapin asked whether the figure of "one out of five" refers to the incidence of narcissists and sociopaths. "One out of five people" (20%) will suffer some type of mental illness, whether that is anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia or a personality disorder, but the percentage of the population that suffers from any given disorder tends to be one to two percent. Excellent interview. I have never heard anyone ask about whether all therapists are equally qualified to treat these disorders, let alone a clear answer.
Amen amen thank you both very much these individuals the things they will do is so demonic especially when it is unimaginable stay in prayer and safe 🙏🙏🏿🙏🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏💜
You are so welcome.
Thank you for introducing me to Dr. Rosenberg; and your thoughtful questions.
Just dump the narcissist. Get your life back.
sociopaths have an unconscious attachment to old feelings of being
marginalized and rejected. Their narcisistic and manipulative behavior
is a psychological defense used to hide their unconscious entanglement
with these negative emotions of unworthiness.
Like childhood scars?
+TheTarbita yea my ex dont like his mother.. he told me in the beginning he dnt like women bcuz of her
what are you going to be when you age?
When you are living with a narcissistic partner, everything is hard because that person love doing wrong things, love to use and manipulate others. Selfish wants to seek fuel. And love cheating they are ware of being a user, abuser and a manipulator.
Great discussion very informative information I advise the commenters who think they've been a victim of someone with a Personality disorder to pay close attention and take notes because Mr. Ross Rosenberg is telling you some good stuff
Thank you. Video's such as this have helped solve my 58 year old mysteries. I'm bipolar and used to be very co dependent. I always knew that I needed to be assertive but had no confidence. I hated myself. Vides's like this have helped me identify the bad people in my life and have given me the freedom to love myself. Thank you.
Such a wonderful piece of information and thank you for sharing this it has helped me a lot.
The perfect job for a narcissistic psychopath is a supervisor because it’s something a covert can do. The more people in the department the better. The employees become his grown up toys to play with.
What an excellent interview. A very informed interviewer. Ross, " A person usually comes to therapy showing symptoms of a deeper problem." That is what a true doctor knows. These medical doctors today try to treat people with prescriptions for the symptom when they should be helping them heal the real problem.
Excellent. Exactly the info I was searching for. Many thanks
Glad it was helpful Christine.
Thank you for your supportive and informative conversation.
Very best video on this subject. Good information. I am a codependency survivor and my ex is a sociopath...after seeing this video I am able to differentiate between the different types . I am currently practicing self love techniques to survive the abuse of my narssitistic mother. Thank you dearly
😭😢 I am so grateful for this information. It makes so much sense. I am planning to leave for the third and final time. If only I had access to this before.
Leasah it's never too late, God bless you and run for your life
I repeatedly hear that the codependent is attracted to the narc and find themselves in relationships with them. I am a classical codependent, when I reflect, I'm have always been open to open people. I have been fairly indiscriminate about who I let in. I would put it that the narc is attracted to my openness, low esteem, need for friends and indiscriminate choice of friends/partners.
umm. I suggest they're attracted to the idea that you will tolerate abuse. That's what is most attractive to narcissists. they're not attracted to people who have high self esteem. People who have high self esteem are usually fairly picky about who they let in
Agreed, its mutual as with any predator, they seek out weak. Though in this case, weak is gentle and kind. Abuse that comes in many forms, such as control and power. I do have my limits and will enforce boundaries.
+Lee Hill ive studied them for years too. I find them endlessly fascinating the same way I find the idea of snakes shedding their skin (because it's not capable of stretching), fascinating. I feel compassion for them and gratitude that I'm not one of them. I don't know why it's possible for 'normal' looking people to survive to adulthood, get degrees and jobs or careers, become a parent etc etc and be emotionally stunted at age 2 years or possibly even younger. but my main interest is in how many other 'normal' looking adults have survived etc etc and not have developed the skills or self esteem or whatever it is you need to sense AND ACT ON THEIR INTUITION that the narcissist is playing a role at all times. Why can't we empaths see through it? Why do we tolerate years of abuse? Why don't we see clearly whats really going on? Are we spectacularly stupid or are they spectacularly cunning, or both?!
@@outofthegoldfishbowletcete762 YOU hit the nail on the head with your last sentence. Both empath and narc are equally emotional stunted. Only we can change to go from stupid to smart. Why would someone go from smart to stupid.when you acquire both sides of the polarity you become whole which equals wholeness which equals consciousness.YES ..YES WE ARE SPECTACULARLY STUPID AND THEY ARE SPECTACULARLY CLEVER. 😅🐻🎅🌉⏪🔼⏩🏭🌇
Getting into the mind of a narc is like being involved in a horror movie and you are the victim ‼️👿
Cluster B, but mostly Narcissistic. We don't realise we're doing until it starts to fail. Once an argument, or serious discussion starts then you start to realise you've been pretending and have been caught. Now you're on a timeline, 1 to 2 years max before it breaks down irreparably. Easy to do when one is young, but once you get to 50+ added with chronic depression you become some what blase. Knowing why one is why one is helps a little bit, but ultimately you have to get through the emotional issues somehow. Actually believing that statement would be an achievement in its self right now.
There you go... no empathy for the other, just yourself. after age 25 or 30 and several relationships I think most do know... they are not surprised by ...oh I have been faking.... not because the patterns repeat across the relationships, and from Narcissist to narcissist... Idealization, mirroring, denigration, ghosting, discard, (hoovers) --- after say relationship 3, 4, 5, 6? you prob had a clue, from the pain and disruption to the life of the other in the relationship? Or maybe not, didn't notice! ?
Robin Smith exactly. The first few relationships they probably don’t understand. But after several failed relationships that play out exactly the same. They have to know. They don’t want to admit it. These are incredible smart intelligent people.
Tia...there are plenty of narcs that are not smart nor intelligent.
@@wanyboy1718 it’s a complex pathology; much more than would facilitate a simple explanation. Why do people with OCD wash their hands for three hours?
I do like listening to what you say, because you have hit the nail on the head. My Dad was a Narcissists & I never could please either parents & I was like the black sheep of the Family & I am a believer in Christ Jesus, but never was wanted or loved. So when a person who isn’t Loved by there parents asks Jesus into there hearts. Jesus comes & fills that gap. And when a person has the Love of God within, this is very healing. I have written a book called: “POETRY FOR HURTING PEOPLE” & I have written 19 songs for Children, Praise & Worship Songs all to the Glory of God. Even to my Dad’s dying day, he again told me to leave. He was beaten as a Child or young Adult so he had much hurt in him. As we forgive, we are forgiven. So we must look beyond our hurt & find out the reason behind one’s parents not Loving you & then a person can forgive them & be forgiven themselves in Jesus Name!!!
SO many important points. Thank you
I would add that there is a lack of moral shame and fear of wrongdoing, and they often tell deliberate lie to win over co-dependent people. In my practice I have seen teens with NPD put social worker on the back of the foster parent or guardian, and split up marriages and relationships by going behind one party setting limits to feed the exact emotional need of another and also get their own narcissistic supply/reward met. Main thing is to recognize and directly address this addictive behavior patterns skillfully.
I have personally met 2 men who became caretakers of sick people, which I later but quickly discovered were sick in this manner in order to feed their attention seeking behavior , and deep seated need for attention and importance. I have personally met 2 males who were suffering from narcissism, and in this profession of care taking they are needed desperately, and made to feel desperately important which feeds their sick needs.
Narcs lack remorse. The area of the brain that utilizes remorse is the frontal lobe. It would be interesting to see an MRI ( frontal lobe readings)on these Narcs
When you described "pathological care-giver" and how they occur(might have been in a previous video. I've been listening to a string of them, this morning.)...boom! I can own that. I sort of knew, but somehow that phrase and your description, made it click a bit more firmly. Tony Robbins talks about the basic human needs, one of them being contribution. He says that different people hold those needs in a different hierarchical order. I always thought a feeling of contribution was just a dominant need, for me. Hmmm. I love to do something awesome for someone, that's more than what they expected. I read in the old timey success books, to always "go-the-extra-mile" It's even biblical instruction, in how to be a good person. I find narcissists get disappointed or really ticked off, when you anticipate their needs and surpass them. They want you to fail or at least be mediocre & try to set you up, with no-win situations.
Outstanding!! My personal experiences are exact. I'm more concerned of when they're in the church, the people of God, mixing in looking for victums. They even whine to God repeatidly for what they want/wanted after making consistant donations. My mother, an evangelist, holds the crown for narcissitic behavior. And the church cult she attends passify's her ego. Don't tell her she's wrong or she'll bring Gods wrath on you. We take care of her anyway because she's our mother and she doesn't know any better. Its more painful to watch and hear her created sufferings althought she lives well, better then most people.
No way is it just 5 percent!
What about 30-40%? These people will never admit they got a problem and they are good to hide it.
The covert narc is the worst. In psychological evals he came out as "paranoid" and the other party (mother) came out as narcissistic. Can you tell how "paranoid" diagnosis is also narcissistic. He was definitely a sociopath, but it took so long to get it after my positive projection. So busy helping and fighting for him as the victim of the narc, that I completely missed he was a narc too. Unfortunately, he alienated my step-daughter with all the ridiculous set ups narcs are known to do. I was chosen for custody so both the paranoid/father and narcissistic/mother for 10 years (of her 11 year life) whispered in her ears and set us up so they could totally control her. PLEASE TEACH ABOUT THE PARANOID person so no one else misses this and wastes 10 years of their life like I did!!!! AND PRAY FOR THIS POOR CHILD WHO HAS TWO NARC PARENTS - court ordered psychologist determined, not my opinion.
Coverts are sociopaths, sociopaths are very aware of what they are doing unlike a straight narcissists. Sociopaths are making a conscious choice not to have empathy, they know the things they are doing are wrong or they wouldn’t hide their deeds, they wouldn’t be engaged in pre meditated acts . So they are aware , they are choosing to do evil things. My ex covert told me when he was about 7 he saw a toddler crying and he said he was happy that the child was in distress and crying, he was glad the child was in pain. This is very telling that a covert would be enjoying seeing someone in pain. This is very sadistic behavior that he was well aware of. I do believe my ex laced my coffee to make me violently I’ll because I called him out on trying to pick up a girl right in front of me. Coverts are aware and sociopathic
Yikes…you are all over the place.
I tear up listening to this .
Very insightful information, discovered my own codependency a few years ago.
I show about 99% of the symptoms of sociopathy, I even get an itch and the back of my head that makes me want to seriously hurt everyone around and in specific and calculated ways, rage like but thought out and, not on impulse. It doesn't happen too often but it happens enough for that matter. I learned to accept it
Great information. Easy to learn more because the presentation is organized
DANGEROUS IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT
Thank you for sharing I thought I was just going crazy myself but I have a narcissist it took me so long to figure that out but he is like that because what he do to me I feel it in every bone in my body that something's not right here so I dig in to why things are happening the way they are and I came across this RUclipsr about Narcissus because I'm just typing in how I feel why I'm feeling like that and then this came up Narcissus and as I watch more name a kind of click in my mind that all my gosh I have a narcissus but I didn't realize there's more than just one narcissist thank you for sharing
I agree with the interviewer..."some" doctors/medical professionals. "doctor's orders" "Yes, doctor...yes, doctor." Women patients, tend to trust and comply. I knew one who actually told me, some of the things he'd make female athletes do, for his own "pleasure".
wow this is spot on my landlord lives next door is a narcissist
I don't think it's so simple as a care taker and care needer. My pathological narcissistic mother. Pretends to be a caretaker to the outside world and vanity signals this at every chance and plenty of gaslighting whilst being needy and manipulative to have these needs met with no respect to anyone else.
I emailed a therapist and wrote her my story ...This is what she returned "sorry I don't accept that insurance"...People sux..
Narcicysts. Thank you.
i appreciate this interview! i will be buying Ross Rosenberg book soon ;)
I like the information and also the peppy piano music too.
You, sir, are veru helpful...and adorable. :)
"mutual and reciprocal" awesome point.
brilliant! thank you so much.
I pre-order les the human magnet!!! Way back. Got if and now reading it.
Awesome! Hope you like it!
@@RossRosenberg I recommended to my niece , which is doing her PhD in psych
Ross please consider doing a video about the Co's leaving the N and ending up with a N lawyer. This is a cat and mouse trap which Co's should be aware of. Love your work and looking forward to you new book.
Can you explain this? Do u mean the narc ended up with a narc lawyer?
No, the Co's end up with Narc Lawyers.
+Heather Stewart oh I get ya. I was just curious because ex narc went to a lawyer. Kinda the vice versa. But I can see it happening to a co since that dynamic would be a real push-pull
Amazing info. Thank you!!
Excellent! Thank you
I hated having to apologize for his behavior. His words!🤬. His voice🤮.
The sound of his voice is in my brain!
I’ve been no contact for years, and I still can’t hear his voice. If he’s at a Birthday party for grandchildren and he starts talking, I have to walk out!
very good eye opening interview.
What would you say about someone who finishes your sentences for you? The impatience to listen to another person complete their sentences. Also, when in conversation, I had a partner who would begining their responses with "Its not that, its this" every single interaction
I know two people like that. Very disagreeable and arrogant. Being around them can sometimes be exhausting. 😮💨
I don't know what to do.. My anxiety is through the roof! I have been in a relationship with a sociopath/covert narcissistic for 14 years, I've known for most of the time, but now have the terms. I just want to help and want better for them. I may be boarding co-dependant idk.. anyway I have caught onto a couple other people trying to play the guy I'm with and use his ego..they realized I've realized and now are slandering me..lying like crazy, trying to make me look just about opposite of how I am, but how they are being. Trying to discredit me ahead of time in case I expose them. I can't even get my words together right now. I feel I'm barely hanging on. I feel trapped. I've realized that often I may just like to see how much I can take..like to feel like I'm strong or.. maybe "better than"😕?? But everyone around me is believing the liars and I have been so quiet and isolated so long that it feels no one has anything else to know. And some who knew me before seem to just think that I've changed. I am in a trap. God help me
Tho has veen the most helpful video on narcissism that I've seen so far.
No matter what I do I cannot get away from these people ,I raised by serious narcs at least my dad was.I married some ,went out with some and lived with one that like myself was a co dependent one .I work with them ,I have children with some serious issues too.I was a victim to most of my 15 siblings in the worse ways ,my poor daughter was driven to an emotionally breakdown in July by her two aunts on the job along with their flying monkeys.One being my insane brother who I had committed 3 times,got him my old apartment in which I lied to get him in.He destroyed the other apartment bad and of course he took no accountability for his actions ,sells drugs and does them self medication.Now my poor daughter is being a victim to two make narcs ,I try to educate her but her mind not operating correcting since that breakdown.One is using his money to try to get my daughter affection she likes him only as a friend ,he fooled me for a long time having his masked on tight ,but I finally unmasked it and now he is against me and trying to turn people against me ,he never had sex in years and needs that fixed trying to.get it from my gullible daughter ,he comes to my house yelling at me says I'm howling because he raises my aniexty level I have GAD and bipolar in which I take sole responsibility for all my bad judgements,he thinks he knows it all ,I will not bow down to their insanity ,my daughter thinks I'm sick ,projection ,delusional.I will beat them all at all their mind games ,I been going through this insanity my whole life being an empath and compassion was against my nature,after my six yrs old daughter was killed my vulnerability was exploited in the worse ways not even an innocent child could stop their insanity.I overcame against all odds ,with TRUTH SETTING ME FREE.THANKS MY SAVIOR FOR MY DELIVERANCE FROM IGNORANCE,bondage to trauma .🙏
This is similar to a Jezebel Spirit where the Jezebel must be in control or else he/she reacts by extreme measures such as crying hysterical like a sad victim or the opposite end of the spectrum is using rage or rejection until you submit. Expecting perfection in others and relationships, yet never finding it then showing extreme disappointment. intruth.org has cool breakdown that's easy to understand.
Never write about narcissists unless you are a child of one. Love people that hurt them? Stockholm syndrome. Now statics, NPD is never diagnosed. So grow up! Yes the profession of narcs is therapists and psychiatrists. Hence this guy, buy the games people play instead. A great section on these narcs who write about what they don't know.
Narc Alert...I like Ross, he reminds me of me...end Narc Alert
If you don't get given, you learn to take.
Thanks to both of you
Very helpful info....helps bring things to light.
Early childhood trauma from a narc parent/caregiver can create both codependent as well as narcissism disorders in the offspring. What about mothers with post partum depression? Might that create the same dynamic?
Oh, how I would love to sit down in a room and talk about my situation - and much to regret my relationship with a narcissistic man. Yes Ross - he really was to good to be true!My codependency has developed throughout my upbringing with a sister (14 monts older) who totally dominated and very often loved to ridicule and abuse me! Our mother was left alone the very day after having given birth to our little sister ( 2 years younger than me) He went home and took his own life after having seen his wonderful little girl!I had to spent time in a hospital 2-4 times with a skin disease - and because I lacked attention from my primary care giver - Mummy ( whom I did love dearly) I tried to gain attention in stupid ways in school fx My teacher was a spinster and not very warmhearted. She arranged for me to spend some months in a psyciatric hospital for kids, in order to examine my behaviour & brain. The only result I recall was, that my mother told me that Hurrah I was totally normal!! I was also put into a children's home right after our Dad committed suiside. Every summer we spent 1-2 months in a large children's home - established in order to give kids from the big cities a chance to get fresh air at the beach and forrest. But again nurses, nurses and nurses to take care of my needs and upbringing.I could go on and on Mr. Rosenberg. y greaat fortune is that I am a believing christian and that I enjoy the fellowship in my church. Here we can talk things out in the light - understand and embrace one another - and not least pray to our heavenly Father and be heard and helped.
I have been recovering from one Narc after another after another after another and so on. Even after I started to find out about this disease that once they've been infected by it, women that is, it isn't curable. However, even with all this knowledge and wisdom I've gained and thought I had been well equipped to look for the early tell tale signs and became better at reading and evaluating a room full of people and so forth. I came up with an idea in order to find out who the covert Narc's were in the room. I would quickly surprise the room full of people having already cued up one of your videos on the topic but didn't let them see the title as to make no one feel otherwise odd. Since everyone has got a video to show everyone else its completely normal to do so. Then I hit play and stand out of the way towards the back of the room and something very interesting begins to occur. It wasn't just a one time event, the pattern repeated itself everytime I did this and I've done it now dozens of times. The video starts and literally as soon as the words Narcissistic Abuse or any other variation of the word is spoken...I'm not kidding you more than half the room jumps up and each person literally runs from the room all in different directions like an alarm went off. If there was say 10 people in the room at least 7 of them would leave and leave without saying a word at all just eyes and heads down and they're gone. Its as if every single one of them already had an escape route pre-planned or something. The only ones left in the room watching the video with their full attention are the real human beings that I can feel safe to be around and after the 8 or 9min video is over we would all engage in discussion on the topic intensely. You can say it was therapeutic and the information having been shared has allowed for a sort of unspoken bond created between myself and those who remained. Not only that but even these few souls all noticed and mentioned how strange it was as soon as the video began to play more than half the room cleared out. Giving insight as to who we the few need to watch out for and not fall for these others suggestions or trickery or manipulations or anything. It's so awesome because all of a sudden we the few have gained a conjoined force if you will and almost with a better sense of confidence and awareness actually went looking for those who've left the room to see what's up with them. Find out what they were doing, even mention how awesome the video was and beneficial for all to see. We would even ask the tough questions like why didn't you guys stick around to see the video? You didn't even excuse yourselves after knowing there was a video I wanted to show everyone? It was F'in amazing to see every one of them squirm, externally showing signs of anxiety, stress, making excuses as to why they left, flat out lying to our faces even and only when we the united few saw they had enough of being prosecuted, we would go back to having a good time, completely ignoring the rest and taking over the space completely to ourselves and began to have a blast. And wouldn't you know it everyone of them left or snuck out without saying a word to anyone including the host who's home we were all invited by to begin with. I've got more to say but I'll stop right here and say thank you for all that you do.
What professions attract narcissists? JUDGES !
In your professional opinion. do malignant/covert narcissists always "Hoover" former discarded partners especially after a long relationship with them. If so what are some of the telltale signs that it's about to happen or has already begun?
when they contact you. Msybe pretending nothing hspprned, maybr apologizing, maybe lying about how much they miss you.
And it can happen years I mean YEARS after the so called relationship ended. They keep a stock of exes up their sleeve for a rainy day...
and btw if they don't contact you it's because they're working on their next source of supply and/or punishing you for the crime of leaving them with the "silent trestment". They DON'T miss you except as a source of supply
in other words, they DON'T reflect on their evil selfish cruel behaviour and then feel remorse and then want to make amends...
THANKYOU so much. I get it 👍
Glad it helped!