I saw a video of a man speaking about grief. He said at the beginning, it's like you have a heavy stone in your pocket. It's there as a constant reminder. You feel it all the time. It's heavy. As time goes by, the stone doesn't change, but your strength gets better. You get stronger from carrying the stone. If you think about it, you'll feel it's still there. But it becomes lighter as you get stronger. May God bless you with strength to carry this heavy weight that you have. This heavy stone.
Rachael, please give yourself time to heal. It has only been a short time since you lost your daughter. No one expects you to heal overnight. Don't expect yourself to heal quickly. Your grief journey is difficult and it feels everlasting but be strong throughout. Right now you are hurting so badly. I pray that peace comes to you soon.
I’m 17 years ahead of you in the grief process of child loss. It’s a club I wish no one was a member of. What I’ve found is I won’t get through it, over it, or past it. I learned to live with it. It is a boulder I can never put down, I just grew stronger to hold it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and no timeline. My heart breaks for you loving mama. What a beautiful daughter you have. Take her inside your heart with you every day for the rest of your life. I’m sorry she didn’t get to stay on earth with you.
@theresapaulse877 my wife Carrie and I are 12 year into the loss of our first, and 11 years into the loss of our second, and I am here to testify that with God's help, it does go away, and we can move on with joy in our lives.
@d.froggiez369 Thank you so much. I lost my oldest son in 2021. He was about to turn 30 on Christmas Eve. His brother and I haven't had a Christmas since. The pain is indescribable and relentless. Grieving is very lonely business.
Keep going forward. You are a warrior. One step at a time. Sometimes, one breath at a time. Keep talking to us. Don't stop. We are covering you in prayer. I am from the North Shore of Lake Superior.
I remember when my son died . It was like a wave that would pull me out too sea and then the wave would come crashing down is how it felt with a panic attack. I cried for 3 and a half years every day. But now I'm ok it's been 15 years so hard to believe it's been that long ago. God bless you. Lean into Jesus he is with you in this. Bless your heart. I will continue too pray for you.
This makes me hurt for you. I’m so, so sorry for your loss of your son. This comment is such a small and insignificant gesture compared to the enormity of what you have been through, but I hope that it will convey my love and care. I think that you are truly remarkable. With each day of healing over the last 15 years, you must have fought extremely hard and it tells me that you are strong and resilient. I hope that you and Rachael will find a place of peace. 🕊️ x
Saying hello from America 👋🏼 I don’t know really quite what to say. My father was born and raised in England, he came over when he was 19. I love England so much and have dear family there. I applaud you for being so in touch with your grief. I suffered a loss when I was 13 and it traumatized me and now I’m in my 50’s. There was no real support for me back then… I wish I could go away to a retreat. I am amazed at your strength. I’ve just found your channel tonight 7/28/2024 ~ UK 28/7/2024 ☺️ ttfn ~ Susan 💐
Yes, please keep talking to us. We're always here for you. Don't bottle things up. You're doing great and believe that you are actually helping someone out there
I think being around those who have lost children and understand your emotions would be so healing for you. Extremely hard, but healing to know others are where you are. Love from the USA 🇺🇸
I'm salivating as I watch you eat that Pad Thai.😂 Your analogy of having a wound that keeps opening and the bandage/dressing sticking to it was very profound. Your grief will never really "end," but when your soul and body are ready and in synch, the grief will be less raw and will be slowly replaced with more peace. My heart hurts for you and I keep sending you lots of loving energy to face this grief journey.❤🙏
I do not know you, but I came across your post today and this mama will sit and listen and cry right along with you. I can’t begin to imagine the pain you have, holding you, your precious daughter in my thoughts and prayers.
YOU are a warrior ⭐⭐⭐ just take it 1 second at a time and I promise you one day it will get easier ❤ I'm sending you strength and prayers 💕🙏🏼 I've been missing my daughter now for 21 years 💔 it still sucks...big time 😢 but my days are definitely brighter 🤍 just like my little girl yours is always with you 🦋
My darling human being! Plug yourself in to things that shows love and gratitude about your journey…..your tears, your heartaches, your loneliness and the broken heart pain that you are experiencing…… give yourself time, be patient, stay positive, you are amazing, you are loved, you are cherished. MAY GOD BLESS YOUR JOURNEY……your cheerleader from USA♥️🇺🇸
Rachael you are so articulated you are actually giving voice to things that can't be described. You've got talent. I am privileged and never experienced anything like what you talk about, but i still benefit from your energy and strength. What you are doing has meaning, keep going girl ❤
Grieving is so painful...grieving the loss of a precious child is beyond description. Anyone following your journey who has experienced a major loss of a loved one can grasp so many aspects of your pain. You are so generous in sharing your experience because we don't talk about grief nearly enough and you are helping to normalise the process of grieving. You will never not feel the pain of losing your daughter. I think what happens is that you slowly create a new life, a new identity, a new purpose...that grows around the grief. I think the frequency of the waves slowly decreases. The height of the waves (very) slowly decreases. One day you will be able to sit with a few more memories that bring you joy. It is such a painfully slow process...and you are doing so well (whatever that might mean). You are still moving forward. Still leaning into your healing (knowing the pain it will bring up). Your daughter would be so proud of how brave her mummy is ❤❤❤❤
This wound will b eternal, and there is no way I can watch u without sobbing uncontrollably. We grieve 4 u and with u, but u r the upmost warrior in proving God's grace 4 us. I'm sorry, I'm literally at loss 4 words watching, and listening 2 u. U r 1 of the most powerful and moving individuals I have come across in 10 plus yrs. U wear your grief not as a wound, but as a teaching. A teaching we all can only aspire 2. A teaching that life can go on, even in the upmost, bitter circumstances, and that GOOD will come from it. I love u, and we love y Rachel, and we uplift u 2 the Lord, so that he can help heal u, provide u rest and peace, and provide u with HIS purpose, which I have no doubt uve already achieved.
I know no words are consolation, but please know that there are people in this world who don't know you personally, but keep you in their thoughts and hearts, every single day. 💕
There are wonderful bereavement programs. People who share losses and can find peace in helping each other! If I was there, I’d give you a big hug! I lost my sister and my brother. And it was so difficult at my age. 16 was too young to lose my sister who was only 18. She does visit in my dreams. ❤🙏🏻🤗
I've always looked at it like I earned a purple 💜 heart for being able to survive such horrific heartache. 💔 Sending hugs for you & Kleenex to wipe your tears.
Had a dream last night! About you and your daughter at the park laughing! Having so much fun and this is what’s makes you feel devastated…remembering her in your dreams…pray to GOD to understand the dreams you’ve received each night with your daughter in order to heal faster! As comforting and not as a pain that she’s gone..May the Lord bless you! Always 🙏
You are doing great! My opinion you don't need anything to improve your channel, I love that your just being real. Lots of love and strength to you from Sweden 💓
My heart breaks for you…I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I am so impressed with how self aware you are and how hard you are trying…you are so very strong! Continue to hold tight to your faith and never give up because that’s the only way you will ever get through this and other challenges that you WILL encounter. From what I have gathered, so far, I believe you WILL overcome all these hurdles.
You need that time, and I am proud of you for taking the time that you need. Please continue to seek God....HE will help you like nobody else can. ((HUGS)) from Oklahoma.
Sister I want you to reach out to me I'm worried your opening yourself up to new age practices yoga, higher vibration ect please my husband got into this reki healing ect and it opened doors to demonic activity and now he is dying from lung cancer. And is demonically oppressed. I'm scared for you. Go listen to Steven bancarz and doreen virtue testimony. Listen to new age to jesus testimony. All these middle Eastern practices open us up to demonic entities. I'm praying for you beautiful lady. X
The time doesn’t heal but you get use to live with it. And because you are still very young, you going to have a chance to be happy again. But your baby will be with you forever.
Grieve as long as you have to. Just remember that you’re not alone. The Lord loves you and He will be with you. One day soon you’ll be able to see her again and be with her forever.❤️🙏🏼❤️
My dearest Rose🌹, I hope you don't mind my calling you Rose which is such a BEAUTIFUL flower and name. I am sending you a huge hug of love ❤ and positivity. You are so strong for realizing that you need additional help and are getting it. I feel therapy is essential to help someone deal with such a horrible trauma. As you stated, there is a large wound in your heart, and it will always be there, but with God in your life, therapy, and being strong the wound will heal to the point that you will live a healthier and happier life. I pray you continue to heal and find strength and peace. From watching your other videos, I feel you are a fighter, and you will survive. When you go through a wave, know that you are getting closer to the warm sandy beach. I am sending you a lifesaver 🛟 to help you through it. Sending all my love from USA. ❤️🙋🏻♀️🇺🇸
I’ve never wanted to give someone such a big hug as I do you. Your pain is so raw and open it took my breath away. I think you’re incredibly brave. I will follow your journey
I am in awe of you. My ex, the mum of my daughter, passed away from anorexia and I totally get the waves analogy. For years I couldn't be left with a moment's silence. I was constantly active. There was always a human tv or radio voice in the house. I wish I could share your pain and lessen your burden. Tbf, that Pad Thai looks amazing. Keep striving, darling. You do Oria honour every day, I'm sure xxx
You never truly get over the loss of a child. And the process can be different person to person. Taking it slowly, day by day, just facing what you can handle is a very good approach. I do know a number of parents whose kids have gone on before them at various stages of life-and they’ve told me that they never feel completely whole again, a piece of their soul has gone with their child and life after they’re gone is all about learning to function somewhat normally again around the huge void now left in their lives. Try not to be too hard on yourself on bad days, nor feel guilty about being ‘too happy’ on good days. Hugs 💛
Sister Rachel you are a shining light on a hill for all to see. I pray the Good Lord Jesus Christ heals you more and more everyday. Your videos are helping so many. God bless you, peace 🌻
Awe sweetheart…I just watched your story and then came to your new video….I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter Oria. I can’t wrap my head around what happened. I can’t even imagine the horrible pain you are going through. I pray to God to bring you peace. 😢😢😢
You are a Warrior!!! Everyone has to go through their own to come out on the other side a Warrior. YOU WILL MOVE PAST THIS. You won't forget them in doing so, you'll find a special place in your heart and mind where only she will live and where you can go anytime you want to visit with her. Please know that even though we don't know each other I believe in you, I'm with you in spirit every step of the way. ❤❤❤
She is such a GOOD PERSON😭 I would get so angry, I would be furious, writing letters every day to the person who has done that, to "scream" at him, to talk to him "Why did you do that", I would be sooo angry, throwing pillows in the house, breaking chairs, tables everything, until I have squeezed out all of my anger....😢 And she is such a good person - she doesn't have any anger, any hate😢😢😢 And that is why is diffucult to express all of that sorrow.😢❤
It’s so nice to see you again. I must say that you are a tough puppy and God is by your side guiding you through this process. You are a WARRIOR gorgeous. Keep doing what you’re doing and can’t wait to see you again! YOU GO GIRL!!!! GOD BLESS YOU ❤❤❤
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Isaiah 41:10 We love you Rachael! God is with you and goes before you to make a way! Draw closer to Him and He will grow closer to you! Sending you love 💕 and peace 🕊
The analogy of losing limbs helped me understand. I had an accident over 4 years and have lost the use of my left side and have brain injuries. The trauma is massive. It definitely comes in waves. And yes some waves hurt so much more, they last longer and you feel you’re drowning and other waves are less intense. No, we won’t ever heal but we will learn to swim in our new crazy ocean and have the waves and we will have moments where we are surfing our wave and feel happy. Enjoy those moments. I n my down moments I remember to feel the emotions because then I will feel raised up again. ❤ The wellness retreat will be incredible. Sound therapy is so good!
I've not lost a child, i don't know how or if i could deal with it and my children are adults now, it's still my greatest fear. I did watch my parents go through the pain and sorrow of losing both of my siblings too early from choices they made in their life. Give yourself grace to journey through this dark valley of sorrow, it can't be done in a day or two. Just know that there is an army of people walking with you virtually, holding you up, comforting you. You've already shown your amazing strength by coming as far as you have. Thinking of you daily with love, compassion and hope. ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Lord, I pray that you put a hedge of protection around Rachael as she goes through this journey or grief and healing. I pray that in her times of need that you will constantly wrap your Loving arms around her. I pray that you will place Strong Woman of Faith in her path who will stand and pray with her when she is overcome with pain. I pray that her mind becomes less confused and that she gets to see glimpses' of blue sky. Lord I pray that you continue to watch over Rachael and her extended family who are also grieving the lost of a grand daughter and also for Ashly parents and siblings. I pray that Rachal will draw close to you Lord. In your Mighty Name Amen. Rachael I will keep you in my Prayers. Gods Blessings from New Zealand. I cried with your when you watching your videos.
I heard a saying just a few days ago that said: if you lose your spouse you are called a widow, if you lose a parent you are called an orphan, but if you lose a child there is no name that could describe the pain one goes through with losing a child. My prayers go out to you and don't give up. Keep going day by day, hour by hour, minutes by minute. 🙏🙏
I love your geniune, beautiful spirit and warm soul. I am not one to comment unless I'm felt compelled to...I just want to thank you for sharing your life with us. Sharing your beautiful daughter in life and spirit. You will be ok bc you have God. People say times heals all, but in my belief, God heals all. Your cries are heard and he's allowed you to feel in order to heal. Let your tears come and the rest of life will follow. God bless you
The peaks and troughs of grief will continue but almost imperceptibly the depths of the troughs will change over time. With every trough you will have learned something new to prepare you for the next wave which will make you that little bit stronger each time. x Sending you ❤
You have so many people praying for you. God will get you through this. I know you probably have heard all of this and it may not be comforting now, but do know all prayers are wonderful! Stay strong and you give yourself grace, as grief isn’t something that most of us just GET OVER quickly! I can’t even imagine your pain and I pray I never have to. I love checking in on you and feel as if you are a part of my life now! You are a strong woman and I am sending love and prayers your way! ❤
Rachael, I just wanted you to know that I have watched you for awhile now, & even though I have not experienced the same kind of loss as you have, I do understand about grief, & I know that feeling that you described here & how far down deep that pain is. Whenever I watch you I can feel that deep loss that you talk about. I will not tell you that it goes away completely, because I know mine hasn’t & it’s been 12 years, but I can say that it has lessened. And if it helps at all, please know that there are people out here like myself who are with you in that grief. You are doing so remarkably well & I know there are no doubt days & times when you are not doing so well, but that’s ok. The mind & body needs whatever amount of time to heal, at least enough for us to manage. Keep posting & expressing yourself & I am always praying for you🙏🏼♥️❤️🩷💖🥰
Ive contemplated for a while now the 1st message I wished to send to u. I am in complete and utter awe of u. The way u describe grief is the most raw, unearthing, but most real thing I have come across in probably the last 10 yrs. Of course, like everyone, I cannot being to display my sympathy and condolences enough. It would never b enough for the losses you've suffered. But u have touched a part of my soul that was dead. Because 2 be alive, we must feel. I haven't wanted 2 feel, and my journey is NOTHING n comparison to yours. I want 2 thank u Rachel , 4 sharing your loss, 4 sharing your pain, and 4 sharing your truth, because there is nothing more powerful n this world. And right now, u r giving me inspiration 4 living, so thank u. From all of us. We love u, and we pray 4 u as well❤❤❤❤❤
You know something you are an amazing woman and what you have gone through/ going through and you’re still standing ! Sometimes being on your own isn’t a bad thing because that’s when reality kicks in and sadly it’s not pleasant BUT you learn and start to understand yourself . Crying is a release and you have all of us on here even if you just sit and cry we are here for you . I am afraid of the dark have been for along time with my PTSD get a little night light have it near you or in your room also I listen to asmr videos of rain ☔️ and that does help .
You are explaining my exact situation…. Lost and alone even with all the support in the world you feel this overwhelming sadness 💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 In this time you are healing and helping so many. You will NEVER be the same but you WILL get through this. Much love and prayers. God bless you and comfort you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Rachael, you are so very loved! You are a warrior with strengths you have decided to share lovingly with the world. You are and will continue to be a blessing for others as you continue your healing journey for yourself. Sending you Love and Light 🫶🏼
Hey Rachael...my name is Elizabeth and I'm from North Carolina. Just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you and I hope your time at the Wellness Center is helpful. Also, it has been my experience that the words wholeness and recovery are in themselves too hard to manage and in many circumstances inappropriate. Using the term "being in better balance" in my life, my body etc was much more comfortable. Thought that might be helpful to you as well. Take care my friend. ❤️ Peace and Love, Elizabeth
Hola from Europe/Spain...much Love and Peace to you.....pain and sorrow get us to closer to our God inside us. ❤️🌹 "Om bhur bhuvah svah Tata savitur varenyam bhargo Devasya dhimahi dhiyo yo nah prachodayat ." Namasté sweet Soul 🙏♥️
I’m from Texas and I’d have to say I’m truly sorry for your tragic loss and I applaud you for all your strength. And your strength has truly inspired me and the way you speak is so intelligent and has been helpful in opening up my mind. I pray for you and your healing journey. ❤
Baby girl it takes time to heal.take as long as u need your wound will heal when it does the scar will always be there😢....you have your memories of your baby and its ok to remember...leave the plug in because the love u have is gods love.. you still have that light to share your story .that light will never go out.u will see your baby again she is with God now a little angel she is..God bless I will encourage you when ever i can .. prayers 🙏
I saw a video of a man speaking about grief. He said at the beginning, it's like you have a heavy stone in your pocket. It's there as a constant reminder. You feel it all the time. It's heavy. As time goes by, the stone doesn't change, but your strength gets better. You get stronger from carrying the stone. If you think about it, you'll feel it's still there. But it becomes lighter as you get stronger. May God bless you with strength to carry this heavy weight that you have. This heavy stone.
This is very, very beautiful and wise. Thank you for helping Rachael and all of us, x
Beautiful
This is a perfect example of how it feels learning to live with grief.
It’s been 4 years for me and I still can’t get out of bed, and I’ve been through nothing close to what racheal has seen. Feel distracted
This is a wonderful analogy 🫂💚Thank you for sharing 💚💞💚💕
Sending love & prayers to anyone struggling, no matter what the reason 🙏🏻💚
Rachael, please give yourself time to heal. It has only been a short time since you lost your daughter. No one expects you to heal overnight. Don't expect yourself to heal quickly. Your grief journey is difficult and it feels everlasting but be strong throughout. Right now you are hurting so badly. I pray that peace comes to you soon.
I’m 17 years ahead of you in the grief process of child loss. It’s a club I wish no one was a member of. What I’ve found is I won’t get through it, over it, or past it. I learned to live with it. It is a boulder I can never put down, I just grew stronger to hold it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and no timeline. My heart breaks for you loving mama. What a beautiful daughter you have. Take her inside your heart with you every day for the rest of your life. I’m sorry she didn’t get to stay on earth with you.
2 years in it. Does the feeling of disbelief ever go away?
Amen ❤
Sweetheart, God will be with you always. You are never alone! Your baby girl will be watching over you always! 💗
@theresapaulse877 my wife Carrie and I are 12 year into the loss of our first, and 11 years into the loss of our second, and I am here to testify that with God's help, it does go away, and we can move on with joy in our lives.
We are here, holding space for you. No need to reply. You will never walk alone xx
Non Liverpool fans and supporters will always walk alone.
🙌🏻 Amen to that 🙏🏻🙌🏻💚
I just come here to cry with you. It makes me not feel so alone.
😢 🫂
Sending a virtual hug & lifting you in prayer 🙏🏻🙏🏻💚🫂🫂🫂I'm so very sorry 🫂
@d.froggiez369 Thank you so much. I lost my oldest son in 2021. He was about to turn 30 on Christmas Eve. His brother and I haven't had a Christmas since. The pain is indescribable and relentless. Grieving is very lonely business.
Keep going forward. You are a warrior. One step at a time. Sometimes, one breath at a time. Keep talking to us. Don't stop. We are covering you in prayer. I am from the North Shore of Lake Superior.
That one small joy in pad Thai and we see a beautiful smile 😊
How beautiful hey.
When she talks of writing in the coffee shop, too. ❤
My sweet lady ....sending up prayers for you .
Lifting you up to Our Heavenly Father HalleluYah for His Comfort and Peace that surpasses all understanding.
20,000 subs! Your reach, and therefore your help, is getting serious traction! Keep going. So many know exactly where you are.
This Mom feels what you’re sharing. My heart goes out to you.
I remember when my son died . It was like a wave that would pull me out too sea and then the wave would come crashing down is how it felt with a panic attack. I cried for 3 and a half years every day. But now I'm ok it's been 15 years so hard to believe it's been that long ago. God bless you. Lean into Jesus he is with you in this. Bless your heart. I will continue too pray for you.
♥️
❤
This makes me hurt for you. I’m so, so sorry for your loss of your son.
This comment is such a small and insignificant gesture compared to the enormity of what you have been through, but I hope that it will convey my love and care. I think that you are truly remarkable. With each day of healing over the last 15 years, you must have fought extremely hard and it tells me that you are strong and resilient.
I hope that you and Rachael will find a place of peace. 🕊️ x
Saying hello from America 👋🏼 I don’t know really quite what to say. My father was born and raised in England, he came over when he was 19. I love England so much and have dear family there. I applaud you for being so in touch with your grief. I suffered a loss when I was 13 and it traumatized me and now I’m in my 50’s. There was no real support for me back then… I wish I could go away to a retreat. I am amazed at your strength. I’ve just found your channel tonight 7/28/2024 ~ UK 28/7/2024 ☺️ ttfn ~ Susan 💐
Strong and beautiful Rachael. My heart is with you. 🙏🙏🙏
It’s okay to not be okay, this is a tremendously hard loss 😢 I’m so sorry sending you love and healing. Your sweet baby is always with you.
Keep the gospels close to your heart . They will be your shield and your strength
Yes, please keep talking to us. We're always here for you. Don't bottle things up. You're doing great and believe that you are actually helping someone out there
I think being around those who have lost children and understand your emotions would be so healing for you. Extremely hard, but healing to know others are where you are. Love from the USA 🇺🇸
I'm salivating as I watch you eat that Pad Thai.😂 Your analogy of having a wound that keeps opening and the bandage/dressing sticking to it was very profound. Your grief will never really "end," but when your soul and body are ready and in synch, the grief will be less raw and will be slowly replaced with more peace. My heart hurts for you and I keep sending you lots of loving energy to face this grief journey.❤🙏
I'm so glad you commented this bc everything you said is spot on&beautifully written ✌🏻🧡🙏🏻
I do not know you, but I came across your post today and this mama will sit and listen and cry right along with you. I can’t begin to imagine the pain you have, holding you, your precious daughter in my thoughts and prayers.
YOU are a warrior ⭐⭐⭐ just take it 1 second at a time and I promise you one day it will get easier ❤ I'm sending you strength and prayers 💕🙏🏼
I've been missing my daughter now for 21 years 💔 it still sucks...big time 😢 but my days are definitely brighter 🤍 just like my little girl yours is always with you 🦋
My darling human being! Plug yourself in to things that shows love and gratitude about your journey…..your tears, your heartaches, your loneliness and the broken heart pain that you are experiencing…… give yourself time, be patient, stay positive, you are amazing, you are loved, you are cherished. MAY GOD BLESS YOUR JOURNEY……your cheerleader from USA♥️🇺🇸
Rachael you are so articulated you are actually giving voice to things that can't be described. You've got talent. I am privileged and never experienced anything like what you talk about, but i still benefit from your energy and strength. What you are doing has meaning, keep going girl ❤
I agree ❤
I agree ❤!!
Grieving is so painful...grieving the loss of a precious child is beyond description.
Anyone following your journey who has experienced a major loss of a loved one can grasp so many aspects of your pain. You are so generous in sharing your experience because we don't talk about grief nearly enough and you are helping to normalise the process of grieving.
You will never not feel the pain of losing your daughter. I think what happens is that you slowly create a new life, a new identity, a new purpose...that grows around the grief. I think the frequency of the waves slowly decreases. The height of the waves (very) slowly decreases. One day you will be able to sit with a few more memories that bring you joy. It is such a painfully slow process...and you are doing so well (whatever that might mean). You are still moving forward. Still leaning into your healing (knowing the pain it will bring up). Your daughter would be so proud of how brave her mummy is ❤❤❤❤
I wish I had the ability to be so raw with my emotions as you are. Your bravery is humbling.
Sure is❤
Grief is so extremely lonely and cruel. I’m there too. Sending you a warm hug 🫂
This wound will b eternal, and there is no way I can watch u without sobbing uncontrollably. We grieve 4 u and with u, but u r the upmost warrior in proving God's grace 4 us. I'm sorry, I'm literally at loss 4 words watching, and listening 2 u. U r 1 of the most powerful and moving individuals I have come across in 10 plus yrs. U wear your grief not as a wound, but as a teaching. A teaching we all can only aspire 2. A teaching that life can go on, even in the upmost, bitter circumstances, and that GOOD will come from it. I love u, and we love y Rachel, and we uplift u 2 the Lord, so that he can help heal u, provide u rest and peace, and provide u with HIS purpose, which I have no doubt uve already achieved.
Amen ❤
I know no words are consolation, but please know that there are people in this world who don't know you personally, but keep you in their thoughts and hearts, every single day. 💕
There are wonderful bereavement programs. People who share losses and can find peace in helping each other! If I was there, I’d give you a big hug! I lost my sister and my brother. And it was so difficult at my age. 16 was too young to lose my sister who was only 18. She does visit in my dreams. ❤🙏🏻🤗
God bless you, sweetie.
I've always looked at it like I earned a purple 💜 heart for being able to survive such horrific heartache. 💔 Sending hugs for you & Kleenex to wipe your tears.
Definitely needs to have Kleenex with her at all times when she’s talking publicly about the trauma.
@@Barbara-yj5tl not a bad idea at all.
Had a dream last night! About you and your daughter at the park laughing! Having so much fun and this is what’s makes you feel devastated…remembering her in your dreams…pray to GOD to understand the dreams you’ve received each night with your daughter in order to heal faster! As comforting and not as a pain that she’s gone..May the Lord bless you! Always 🙏
You are doing great! My opinion you don't need anything to improve your channel, I love that your just being real. Lots of love and strength to you from Sweden 💓
My heart breaks for you…I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so impressed with how self aware you are and how hard you are trying…you are so very strong! Continue to hold tight to your faith and never give up because that’s the only way you will ever get through this and other challenges that you WILL encounter.
From what I have gathered, so far, I believe you WILL overcome all these hurdles.
You need that time, and I am proud of you for taking the time that you need. Please continue to seek God....HE will help you like nobody else can.
((HUGS)) from Oklahoma.
Sister I want you to reach out to me I'm worried your opening yourself up to new age practices yoga, higher vibration ect please my husband got into this reki healing ect and it opened doors to demonic activity and now he is dying from lung cancer. And is demonically oppressed. I'm scared for you. Go listen to Steven bancarz and doreen virtue testimony. Listen to new age to jesus testimony. All these middle Eastern practices open us up to demonic entities. I'm praying for you beautiful lady. X
Prayers for you❤
The time doesn’t heal but you get use to live with it. And because you are still very young, you going to have a chance to be happy again. But your baby will be with you forever.
Grieve as long as you have to. Just remember that you’re not alone. The Lord loves you and He will be with you. One day soon you’ll be able to see her again and be with her forever.❤️🙏🏼❤️
Bless you Dear Heart. May GOD comfort you as only HE can. My prayers are with you.
My dearest Rose🌹,
I hope you don't mind my calling you Rose which is such a BEAUTIFUL flower and name. I am sending you a huge hug of love ❤ and positivity. You are so strong for realizing that you need additional help and are getting it. I feel therapy is essential to help someone deal with such a horrible trauma. As you stated, there is a large wound in your heart, and it will always be there, but with God in your life, therapy, and being strong the wound will heal to the point that you will live a healthier and happier life. I pray you continue to heal and find strength and peace. From watching your other videos, I feel you are a fighter, and you will survive. When you go through a wave, know that you are getting closer to the warm sandy beach. I am sending you a lifesaver 🛟 to help you through it. Sending all my love from USA.
❤️🙋🏻♀️🇺🇸
Don’t change a thing! You are so real and authentic. Thank you for sharing you
You are so incredibly wise and eloquent in your descriptions of this journey. God bless you for sharing.
I’ve never wanted to give someone such a big hug as I do you. Your pain is so raw and open it took my breath away. I think you’re incredibly brave. I will follow your journey
You are an inspiration for many. I learn so much from you.I am rooting for you. God is with you🙌🏿. Sending much love ❤. You got this 🙌🏿
It is very difficult to witness your grief and not reach out to hug you. This is very painful. You are very much loved, Rachael
I am sending you so much love ! My heart just hurts for you. ❤
Prayers and hugs to you from Vancouver Island Canada 🇨🇦 ❤
I am in awe of you. My ex, the mum of my daughter, passed away from anorexia and I totally get the waves analogy. For years I couldn't be left with a moment's silence. I was constantly active. There was always a human tv or radio voice in the house.
I wish I could share your pain and lessen your burden.
Tbf, that Pad Thai looks amazing.
Keep striving, darling. You do Oria honour every day, I'm sure xxx
Many Prayers coming your way from Tennessee in the USA. ❤🙏
Oh sweetheart, I am sending you so much love and healing light wrapped with love and prayers.
You’re on my heart every day.
Lord please continue to wrap this woman in your love. ❤
You never truly get over the loss of a child. And the process can be different person to person. Taking it slowly, day by day, just facing what you can handle is a very good approach. I do know a number of parents whose kids have gone on before them at various stages of life-and they’ve told me that they never feel completely whole again, a piece of their soul has gone with their child and life after they’re gone is all about learning to function somewhat normally again around the huge void now left in their lives. Try not to be too hard on yourself on bad days, nor feel guilty about being ‘too happy’ on good days. Hugs 💛
Sister Rachel you are a shining light on a hill for all to see. I pray the Good Lord Jesus Christ heals you more and more everyday. Your videos are helping so many. God bless you, peace 🌻
Awe sweetheart…I just watched your story and then came to your new video….I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter Oria. I can’t wrap my head around what happened. I can’t even imagine the horrible pain you are going through. I pray to God to bring you peace. 😢😢😢
You are a Warrior!!! Everyone has to go through their own to come out on the other side a Warrior. YOU WILL MOVE PAST THIS. You won't forget them in doing so, you'll find a special place in your heart and mind where only she will live and where you can go anytime you want to visit with her. Please know that even though we don't know each other I believe in you, I'm with you in spirit every step of the way. ❤❤❤
The light that you have resolved to spread and share shows brightly. I want to hug you! 🤗
Thank you for sharing... and bringing us along with you! God bless you 🙏 Hello from Canada...🇨🇦💕
Please be patient with yourself. Baby steps!
She is such a GOOD PERSON😭 I would get so angry, I would be furious, writing letters every day to the person who has done that, to "scream" at him, to talk to him "Why did you do that", I would be sooo angry, throwing pillows in the house, breaking chairs, tables everything, until I have squeezed out all of my anger....😢 And she is such a good person - she doesn't have any anger, any hate😢😢😢 And that is why is diffucult to express all of that sorrow.😢❤
Your precious daughter is your soulmate and will always be with you ♥️♥️♥️
It’s so nice to see you again. I must say that you are a tough puppy and God is by your side guiding you through this process. You are a WARRIOR gorgeous. Keep doing what you’re doing and can’t wait to see you again! YOU GO GIRL!!!! GOD BLESS YOU ❤❤❤
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porassss
Grief never really goes away. It get's quieter, slower and sometimes it comes rushing back like the sea❤
Those of us who like you have been through deep grief totally understand you. ❤ Been there. You are describing it perfectly ❤
God bless you, dear one. Give yourself grace, and time and rest. I m in America 🌻🌷🌸🌺🌼
You are a brave warrior! The battle has already been won! Have faith and know you are unconditionally loved.
Lots of love and a big hug from Switzerland 🇨🇭❤️🌹
Isaiah 41:10
We love you Rachael! God is with you and goes before you to make a way! Draw closer to Him and He will grow closer to you!
Sending you love 💕 and peace 🕊
The analogy of losing limbs helped me understand. I had an accident over 4 years and have lost the use of my left side and have brain injuries. The trauma is massive. It definitely comes in waves. And yes some waves hurt so much more, they last longer and you feel you’re drowning and other waves are less intense. No, we won’t ever heal but we will learn to swim in our new crazy ocean and have the waves and we will have moments where we are surfing our wave and feel happy. Enjoy those moments. I n my down moments I remember to feel the emotions because then I will feel raised up again. ❤
The wellness retreat will be incredible. Sound therapy is so good!
I've not lost a child, i don't know how or if i could deal with it and my children are adults now, it's still my greatest fear. I did watch my parents go through the pain and sorrow of losing both of my siblings too early from choices they made in their life.
Give yourself grace to journey through this dark valley of sorrow, it can't be done in a day or two. Just know that there is an army of people walking with you virtually, holding you up, comforting you. You've already shown your amazing strength by coming as far as you have. Thinking of you daily with love, compassion and hope. ♥️♥️♥️♥️
You are an inspiration. God bless you🙏💛
❤❤❤prayers for you ❤❤❤🙏,big hug from Croatia 🥰🇭🇷
❤
Also from Croatia ❤❤❤
Give yourself time and grace beautiful ❤ sending you so much love from cleveland ohio USA
Lord, I pray that you put a hedge of protection around Rachael as she goes through this journey or grief and healing. I pray that in her times of need that you will constantly wrap your Loving arms around her. I pray that you will place Strong Woman of Faith in her path who will stand and pray with her when she is overcome with pain. I pray that her mind becomes less confused and that she gets to see glimpses' of blue sky. Lord I pray that you continue to watch over Rachael and her extended family who are also grieving the lost of a grand daughter and also for Ashly parents and siblings. I pray that Rachal will draw close to you Lord. In your Mighty Name Amen. Rachael I will keep you in my Prayers. Gods Blessings from New Zealand. I cried with your when you watching your videos.
God bless you. I pray for you every night in my prayers with my husband❤
Praying with all my heart for you beautiful soul ❤
I heard a saying just a few days ago that said: if you lose your spouse you are called a widow, if you lose a parent you are called an orphan, but if you lose a child there is no name that could describe the pain one goes through with losing a child.
My prayers go out to you and don't give up. Keep going day by day, hour by hour, minutes by minute. 🙏🙏
Rachael you're such a strong woman. I pray for easier days for you. I'm sending you big hugs. Hang in there, God is with you.
I love your geniune, beautiful spirit and warm soul. I am not one to comment unless I'm felt compelled to...I just want to thank you for sharing your life with us. Sharing your beautiful daughter in life and spirit. You will be ok bc you have God. People say times heals all, but in my belief, God heals all. Your cries are heard and he's allowed you to feel in order to heal. Let your tears come and the rest of life will follow. God bless you
Prayers from Indiana, USA!! 🙏
The peaks and troughs of grief will continue but almost imperceptibly the depths of the troughs will change over time. With every trough you will have learned something new to prepare you for the next wave which will make you that little bit stronger each time. x Sending you ❤
Sending you so much prayers and love ❤️ I will always remember you in my prayers 🙏🏽🙏🏽xxz
Praying for you. May our God be with you to guide your heart to healing. ❤
You have so many people praying for you. God will get you through this. I know you probably have heard all of this and it may not be comforting now, but do know all prayers are wonderful! Stay strong and you give yourself grace, as grief isn’t something that most of us just GET OVER quickly! I can’t even imagine your pain and I pray I never have to. I love checking in on you and feel as if you are a part of my life now! You are a strong woman and I am sending love and prayers your way! ❤
Take care Rachael. Praying for you. Love you 😘🤗🙏
Beautiful lady, god bless you.
Praying for you. Can't grasp how you are feelin. Sending love.
Rachael, I just wanted you to know that I have watched you for awhile now, & even though I have not experienced the same kind of loss as you have, I do understand about grief, & I know that feeling that you described here & how far down deep that pain is. Whenever I watch you I can feel that deep loss that you talk about. I will not tell you that it goes away completely, because I know mine hasn’t & it’s been 12 years, but I can say that it has lessened. And if it helps at all, please know that there are people out here like myself who are with you in that grief. You are doing so remarkably well & I know there are no doubt days & times when you are not doing so well, but that’s ok. The mind & body needs whatever amount of time to heal, at least enough for us to manage. Keep posting & expressing yourself & I am always praying for you🙏🏼♥️❤️🩷💖🥰
Prayers and hugs for you. Im watching your videos from Colombia
Ive contemplated for a while now the 1st message I wished to send to u. I am in complete and utter awe of u. The way u describe grief is the most raw, unearthing, but most real thing I have come across in probably the last 10 yrs. Of course, like everyone, I cannot being to display my sympathy and condolences enough. It would never b enough for the losses you've suffered. But u have touched a part of my soul that was dead. Because 2 be alive, we must feel. I haven't wanted 2 feel, and my journey is NOTHING n comparison to yours. I want 2 thank u Rachel , 4 sharing your loss, 4 sharing your pain, and 4 sharing your truth, because there is nothing more powerful n this world. And right now, u r giving me inspiration 4 living, so thank u. From all of us. We love u, and we pray 4 u as well❤❤❤❤❤
God bless you girl ❤
🤍🕊️🤍 praying for you 🌻
You know something you are an amazing woman and what you have gone through/ going through and you’re still standing !
Sometimes being on your own isn’t a bad thing because that’s when reality kicks in and sadly it’s not pleasant BUT you learn and start to understand yourself .
Crying is a release and you have all of us on here even if you just sit and cry we are here for you .
I am afraid of the dark have been for along time with my PTSD get a little night light have it near you or in your room also I listen to asmr videos of rain ☔️ and that does help .
Yes cats are intuitive to our emotions and a huge comfort. Not a distraction but an aid maybe. Sending
Sending LOVE
ANYTHING YOU SAY OR FEEL IS OK! 💙💙💙
You are explaining my exact situation…. Lost and alone even with all the support in the world you feel this overwhelming sadness 💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
In this time you are healing and helping so many. You will NEVER be the same but you WILL get through this. Much love and prayers. God bless you and comfort you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Rachael, you are so very loved!
You are a warrior with strengths you have decided to share lovingly with the world.
You are and will continue to be a blessing for others as you continue your healing journey for yourself.
Sending you Love and Light 🫶🏼
Hey Rachael...my name is Elizabeth and I'm from North Carolina. Just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you and I hope your time at the Wellness Center is helpful. Also, it has been my experience that the words wholeness and recovery are in themselves too hard to manage and in many circumstances inappropriate. Using the term "being in better balance" in my life, my body etc was much more comfortable. Thought that might be helpful to you as well. Take care my friend. ❤️
Peace and Love,
Elizabeth
Hola from Europe/Spain...much Love and Peace to you.....pain and sorrow get us to closer to our God inside us. ❤️🌹
"Om bhur bhuvah svah
Tata savitur varenyam bhargo
Devasya dhimahi dhiyo yo nah prachodayat ."
Namasté sweet Soul 🙏♥️
I’m from Texas and I’d have to say I’m truly sorry for your tragic loss and I applaud you for all your strength. And your strength has truly inspired me and the way you speak is so intelligent and has been helpful in opening up my mind. I pray for you and your healing journey. ❤
Baby girl it takes time to heal.take as long as u need your wound will heal when it does the scar will always be there😢....you have your memories of your baby and its ok to remember...leave the plug in because the love u have is gods love.. you still have that light to share your story .that light will never go out.u will see your baby again she is with God now a little angel she is..God bless I will encourage you when ever i can .. prayers 🙏