Shop Brooklinen’s Labor Day Sale and get 20% off your order by clicking my link here bit.ly/EllieBrooklinen. (*If you’re watching this video after 9/6, you can still get a discount by using my promo code EllieDashie for $20 off orders over $100.)
Hi @elliedashwood, I have a Pride and Prejudice question. At the end of the 1995 series, why is Mr Collins at Mr Darcy and Elizabeth wedding? We know Lady Catherine loathes the idea of that wedding so it is surprising to me (I haven’t read the book, Maybe it explains why)
@@chriscc8517in the book, Mr. and Mrs. Collins come back to visit her side of the family, and thereby are on the scene for the wedding, because Lady Catherine is just so angry that they don’t want to be around her😅 and, of course, Mrs. Collins is really actually very happy for Lizzy, so she wants to be there for her wedding. I hope that explains it😊
I think the main reason Mr Darcy is still a beloved character (esp by women) is precisely because as you mentioned he changes not for the sake of winning Lizzy over, but because he values her opinion enough that when she calls out his flaws he seriously reconsiders his approach to life, regardless of if it will ever change her opinion of him. He even asked Lydia not to tell anyone about his assistance, Lizzy only found out bc Lydia can’t keep a secret. Even at the end when he makes his second proposal, he basically says “if you still don’t like me just say the word and I’ll never try to propose to you again”, the only reason he even proposed a second time was because Lizzy’s words to Lady Katherine de Bourgh gave him hope that her opinion of him had changed.
Yup, in modern terms, Darcy's response is basically "Wow, actually, when you put it that way, I have been kind of a dick, I'll uh, try to do better in the future, thanks for being honest with me." And then he actually does do better! A big part of his problem up to that point is that no one he knows has been honest to him about his flaws, either due to honestly just not being able to see them (like his sister, or his servants, who he's been unfailingly kind to) or wanting to suck up to him (like Caroline Bingly), so Lizzy's honest critique of his actions catches him off guard and forces him to re-evaluate how he treats other people.
@@techmage89 yeah, exactly! I get so mad when Hollywood tries to make him faultless, like he’s just shy or misunderstood, when we desperately need more of his type of changing and becoming better😔 his actual story of changing is so inspiring✨
I like that even though you took your channel in a different direction, that you are still sprinkling in some of your earlier austen, literary and regency culture content too.
It's no wonder why Austen emphasized the importance of conduct and manners. She valued strong, true morals over the appearance of charm. She valued authenticity.
@AMoniqueOcampo, I agree. I also agree with Ellie that we need more gentlemanliness today, in both men and women. We, as a society, have lost our manners and kindness. While I don't like phony elitist behavior, to have the inner moral qualities that show on the outside is what our society needs now.
There's book called "A year as a gentleman" (unfortunately not translated into English) where the writer explores the traditional ways of gentlemen for a year. The fascinating thing is, it changed his life for good (even his clothing style) and he says now, years afterwards, that it probably saved his marriage. He also said afterwards that the most difficult thing to learn in practise was to keep or open doors for people, as it requires you to constantly *pay attention* to others. The writer also has a lot to say about seeking to grow as a person. Not to become more effective which seems to be so important these days, but to become a better person.
And people wonder why we love Darcy so much. I think he even fits "gentleman" in the way we understand it today. In his second proposal he says that if she rejects him again he'll let the matter pass and never mention it again. It's a stark contrast to all the modern-day people who can't take a no for an answer 😬
Ellie, I forgot to add that I really appreciate the fact you included Mr. Darcy’s remorse/reflection on what a gentleman is. So many people don’t pay that much attention to his inner struggles. He is a much more insightful character than Bingley. I enjoy the characters that show true growth. Thanks again and thank you for your kind reply to my previous comment. You are awesome too!
I just finished reading Persuasion (again), and what really struck me this time around is how much Mr. Elliott appears to be a gentleman. His manners are agreeable to everyone. His opinions noxious to no one, and yet at the end is revealed as sort of a dark triad sociopath. Meanwhile Captain Wentworth, a truly generous, open hearted person who cares deeply for his friends, has excellent manners as well. What’s interesting is that his manners could be compared so favorably to those of Mr. Elliott, who is a scheming social climber, and a user of people - the polar opposite. You see the social utility of “good breeding”, and the way that having well-bred manners can cover up enormous personal deficiencies. Also interesting is the manner in which Austen critiques this idea of good manners, being the best judge a person’s worth in that novel, you see the more middle class characters as having true, genuine, character and warmth of affection, and the highest class people as un-interesting, self obsessed. Ann Elliott would rather go to tea with her almost penniless widow friend, Mrs. Smith, then go to a party with her distant cousin, a member of the nobility. Jane Austen is a truly underrated social critic, and evidently quite successful given that high society didn’t realize she was writing about them.
The perfect gentleman is Mr Knightley, he truly acted in every way like a gentleman. Is friendship with Robert Martin is the reason I bestow him the title of "The best gentleman to ever gentleman in Jane Austen". I am endorsed by no one and no qualification to decide such a thing. Still the best gentleman.
I would add the way he treats the Miss Bates. When Emma made the snarky comment while the group was outdoors, Knightly takes Miss Bates away in show of his care for her feelings and then reproves Emma for her awfulness at that moment.
So glad to see you doing the occasional Regency video again. I first discovered your channel through your Jane Austen content, and really enjoyed those videos. I understand why you felt the need to change course on your channel. But you are so very good at this.
Another interesting element to the scene when Miss Bingley compliments Darcy on his letter writing and penmanship is that she offers to mend his pen (quill) and claims that she mends pens quite well. This was a bit of an awkward flex at the time. One of the big complaints about quills, especially when steel pens became more readily available in the 1830s, is that mending quills is such a pain, and so few people do it well. Most people would buy quills in bundles, and when they wore out they might be mended once or twice, or, most likely either thrown away, or returned to the stationer from whom they had been purchased. The stationer would then have their specialists re-treat and re-cut the quills and sells them as second (or third) quality pens. Mending pens was seen as something menial that was done by clerks and school teachers. It was often complained of that it was their least-favorite part of their job and a huge inconvenience. I'm not sure of the time period of Jane Austen, my expertise is focused more on mid-century onwards, and by that time it was more common for gentlemen to write more like Mr. Bingley, carelessly and not terribly well. Rapid, careless writing was a sign of an active man of the world who others would make the effort to understand. A good, clean, readable hand was something necessary for clerks, and so became more associated with those who had to write for a living, whereas the idle rich man could afford to be sloppy. He would often have a secretary to write out a "fair copy" if it was necessary. Women, definitely were still judged by their penmanship. They wrote the bulk of social letters and were expected to write in the style associated with elegance and taste. I'm enjoying your videos and look forward to watching them all.
I love your point that few men actually behaved like "true gentlemen." So many people romanticize the past, thinking people were fundamentally better back then. They were not. Just like today, people were flawed. And there is always room for improvement, even for decent people.
Ellie! I’m so happy to see this video!! I love your historical, Jane Austin videos. I hope you’re doing well and thanks for making a senior lady happy! My grandkids think I am old, but my brain says not. Then my body starts laughing at me… Anyway take care dear lady and many blessings with big hugs!
@@EllieDashwood You are SO RIGHT about kids thinking everyone is old lol! I remember, in 2nd grade, I thought my teacher was a little younger than middle age. I thought she was the age where most people can afford a home, to be married, and have children. When I found out she was 22, just graduated college, and still lived at home, (you know, college debt) I audibly gasped. We stayed close, and like most people, she didn’t get married until I was 16 and had her first child when I was 18.
Hi Ellie! I was thinking, Mr. Knightley from Emma was the only "perfect" gentleman from the begining, and waited for Emma's "evolution" the whole story trough, comparing with the other Austen heroes, do you agree?
I remember in "Barry Lyndon" some lord introduced Barry to the king and said "Your Majesty, Mr. Lyndon has raised a regiment for the war in America". and the king looked at Barry and said "Why didn't you go with it?" So Lyndon had wealth but not moral courage and sacrifice like a true gentleman.
I read a novel set in the time after WW1 and it talks about change in society . Being a noble or from the gentry would come with responsabily too . Men were expected to be leaders and go to war was their duty . To not serve was a stain on family honour . Some of the upper class proved to not be alble to raise to the expectations and were bad oficers , leaders . WW1 experience afected the social structure and soldiers who had a coward noble officer come back with the realisation the upper class was not really superior . Really being a gentleman indeed come with a moral code and duty and honour . You read about how suicide was a way to save family honour if one is find out to have done bad things .
Low people were thought to behave in the way we interpret vulgar today. Then again, I've understood that in the past (middle ages perhaps) it has been relatively common for all classes. The nowadays good, decent manners could also been viewed as prissy.
The concept of being a gentleman in P &P is also clearly seen by Col Fitz-William when he speaks of Mr. Bingley and refers to Bingley as having gentleman-like behavior. That is him addressing a bit of the social divide between him-being the son of an earl- and Mr. Bingley coming from a family of Trade but who has an independent fortune. Mr. Bingley and his sisters are in a transitional class.
@@zazubombay Indeed. He's one of those character in JA that one wishes was in the book more! I haven't read any of alternative P &P novels based on the characters inhabiting other novels. He's a pivotal character to add depth to not only Darcy- both he and Darcy are guardians of Georgianna, Darcy's sister--but we learn of the plight of less wealthy aristocratic men who need to marry well to continue their lifestyle.
I always enjoy your literary and historical content. I'm interested in your take on the three almost gentleman in P&P - Mr. Wickham, who was given a gentleman's education, Mr. Collins, who is a clergyman and the heir to an estate, but seems to not understand what it means, and Mr. Gardiner, who is indistinguishable from gentry in his dress, speech and behavior, but is in trade.
That reaffirms what Austen values, the authenticity of morals and behavior, which is why at the end of P&P, she writes that the Darcy’s remained intimate with the Gardiner’s..
I would love that. It’s funny, as a Chinese-American woman married to Mexican-American man, living in 21st century Los Angeles, that I would care about cultural norms of Regency England. But since I do, I am glad to have Ellie explain it to me.
So happy to see another history and literature video! The lifestyle stuff is fun, but I really love these. I just want to gossip with you about Austen characters. Tell me: do you think the Miss Steeles are actually cousins of Mrs. Jennings, or do you think they just made up some relationship and flattered Mrs. Jennings into believing it? Also, I think Miss Crawford already knew how to ride a horse 😏
So glad to be back in the world of Jane Austin again. How about ‘How to be a True Regency Era Lady’? Apologies if you’ve already covered that topic. I just think it would be interesting because the rules that governed every aspect of a ladies life were so restrictive.
Me too! And the Bertram sisters would be a great example on the distaff side of moral education getting neglected while they check all the other boxes.
@archervine8064 I'm not so sure about the Bertram girls lacking moral education. Maria's and Julia's behavior was more rebellion. Sir Thomas was very strict with his children as far as what he expected from his children. Maria, Julia, Tom, Edmund, and Fanny all knew what was right. They all had a similar education, at least as far as moral character building went. But Maria, Tom, and to some extent, Julia all went off the rails as soon as their father left for Jamaica. I think a better example of a lack of moral education would be the Steel sisters, Willoughby, Robert Ferras and Fanny Ferras Dashwood.
@@Rebecca_English I see where you are going there, and I agree that Sir Thomas tried. Where I think he failed to educate them morally is that his focus was almost entirely on their outward behavior. They could parrot the jargon of morality and he didn’t see that it was only skin deep until they grew up and began to act more independently.
Aw, thank you! I actually shot this video last year and never edited it (cause I was just too burned out back then to do so). Then I rediscovered it recently and was like, "Hey, I should finish that." 😂 But there are definitely changes coming to my channel soon! If you're interested in updates, I generally give them out first over on IG: instagram.com/elliedashie/ 😃
I love the concept of "behaving like a gentleman/lady". Not the high born and nobles should rule part 😉 but the "I try to be a better person - kind, generous, well educated and polite" part. I think it's sad that this got a bit lost over the last decades.
"Disguise of every sort is my abhorrence!" Same conversation. "Yes, I was aware of your sister being in town, and hid that fact from Bingley. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm PROUD of it." (Paraphrased, because I don't have it handy). He's also a hypocrite.
I love your breakdown of how upper-class behavior was perceived as the gold standard, I just have one thought that’s still rattling around in my brain so I’ll share it here 😂 when you mentioned thinking it’s interesting that their behavior became perceived as the best behavior, I wondered if whether what really happened is that these early aristocrats were simply examining their preexisting Christian worldview, which already held traits like gentleness, kindness, presentableness in high regard, and so they adopted them as the ideal they should strive for. It might not be that we today still find these traits to be good because we were conditioned to by the aristocrats, but that the idea these traits are good long preceded them.
This was amazing, so glad you found this video and decided to post. I know JA is not the content you are focusing on now but thank you for indulging us ❤ I’ve been doing a lot of reading on Jane Austen and virtue ethics, so this topic fits right in!
Ellie, long-time follower here. I enjoy listening to you talk so much that I even watched the whole of your sponsorship segment, plus your outro (something I never do with other channels)! You are such a natural teacher. Plus, your visual aids in your presentation (pics and text) make learning so easy. I would listen to any topic you presented, even if it wasn't Regency or literature related. Please never stop making these deep dives into history! And by the way those soft cool colours on the screen, in your home and your grey top, are so harmonious with your natural colouring; visually your channel is so often a treat for the eyes too.
Your comment about manners covering major character flaws really struck me as true. It is easy for a person to cover bad character with a good social script because it allows them to respond in a pleasing way without any good feeling. It is easy to cover your disdain of a person in an introduction, for example, because all one has to do to appear pleasent is smile and say, "Pleased to meet you," followed by a meaningless comment about the weather.
Thank you for explaining what being a gentleman meant back then. I think I knew but never heard broken down like that. Mr. Darcy was very smart to look at himself and improve after Lizzie’s statement of why she would not accept him. I enjoy these videos so much! ❤
I know a lot of people are disappointed when Henry and Fanny don’t get together, but it’s that exact reason why Henry doesn’t change-the lack of self-reflection. I think Henry, much like his sister, is very attracted to goodness. Not only in Fanny, but when he actually starts trying, he’s fascinated by the simplistic but earnest goodness of William. He sees this morality that he finds very charming, that he wants to emulate. I think there’s a genuine desire to become like that. But the problem is, he treats it like any other thing he wants in life. He picks it up for his own pleasure and expects it to be easy. There’s no self-reflection. There’s no deep soul-searching about how he treats and thinks about women. There’s no deep consideration for why he is the way he is, or how to combat the awful examples he’s had all his life. THAT’S why Darcy is so loved by women. He changes not for a woman, not to get something else in life, but because he wants to be a better person. Because it’s the right thing to do.
And now Lizzie's statement that Darcy is a gentleman, and she, a gentleman's daughter, makes a lot of sense. Basically, they're both essentially from the same class of people.
Precisely! And I have a whole video on that here: Are Lizzy and Darcy in the Same Social Class? Pride and Prejudice and Regency Society Examined ruclips.net/video/jYkPnEEogng/видео.html
I was raised to be kind, moral, and good mannered for my own self-respect and not just because of what others think, and tried to do the same with my grown children. I care way more about them being good people than about them being successful or attractive, etc. But now I see that it’s going to look different depending on social class, and that “lower class” people have some unique moral qualities that I can admire and learn from that I didn’t learn so well as a middle class child striving to act more like the western ideal upper class. Through a couple close contacts I’ve had the last ten years or so, and some reading on the topic of class and non-western cultures, I’ve grown to appreciate qualities like valuing experiences over possessions, really prioritizing enjoying time with loved ones, sharing, tolerance of others, honoring caretakers, forgiveness, valuing story telling and humility. Each culture has wonderful good qualities to aspire to. ❤
I think it's interesting that the English language has two distinct words about being polite and kind, thus it acknowledges that it is possible to have polite manners but not to be a kind person. In my mother tongue Greek the word ευγενής is used for both these cases but I think it is very common to have well bred manners but not real kindness and perhaps modern parents make the same mistakes than the regency ones in being interested mainly in the appearances and not instilling a true moral core in their children.
I like it the extra insight this gives into Mr. Darcy's point of view in the story. It's no wonder Pride and Prejudice is a popular classic - it's so complex and multifaceted with such deep characterization.
haha, I had a long convo with my French husband once about what "gentleman" meant in the past during the 18th and 19th centuries, and the simple answer was that it was a class of person, as in the gentry, a landowner, whether noble or not, or possibly a "person of leisure" meaning they have passive income and don't need to actually work for a living. He was really shocked when I said this and that back in the day it didn't really have the connotation of like chivalry or something like that as it does now, hahahaha, I mean maybe there was a certain code of conduct that the men of the gentry lived by and that's where our connotation comes from, but it's not the original meaning. I think the French version "gentilhomme" has always had this chivalry connotation to it from what my husband says.
French here! We did our best to destroy the nobility, of those who survived the Révolution, many lost whatever fortune they still had during the *industrial* revolution. So yeah what few nobles we still have, lost their money, assets and privilèges but they still have the title :D The title is only transmitted to the eldest son, so they are quietly phased out. And please note thet bloodbath of the Révolution is taught as a good thing in France and I learned in *primary school* a song about hanging aristocrats to lamppost, so yeah flauting your title is a good way to get bullied in France. We kicked down the noblesse but we kept the word gentilhomme to describe the ideal behaviour. Quite ironic isn't
Thank you for this! It really expanded my understanding of the books and characters. Some of this I had already a nebulous idea in the back of my mind, but this really defined it for me - that nagging feeling in the back of my mind. I wonder if, as a purposeful contrast, we have Mrs. Bennet, who is not well bred, does NOT modify her behavior nor enable good breeding in her daughters but expects them to magically make good matches better than their father. She is an example of someone moving upward class-wise, but not changing her behavior to match her new class. Not even seeming to try. She does not model manners, tone etc and does not even hire a governess to do it for her, does not even appear to notice that she does not match her new class and does not try to ape the Gentry behaviors. The eldest 2 gain 'breeding' from their Aunt in town. Its an interesting point that I just noticed because of this video - we have multiple examples of social movement / behaviors in P & P and they make an intriguing comparison. Mr. Darcy and his moment here with his internal motivation for change; Mrs. Bennet and her lack of change; Mr. Bingley and his manners but also not really getting that you don't show such obvious preferences to a woman then disappear and not take leave of the neighborhood; the Bingley sisters attempting to make the sphere change and ape the new manners, but also not really understanding the subtle things - like eating potatoes! - that mark Gentry. The B sisters talk too much of their dowry, are not kind to servants, publicly speak negatively about the community of Gentry they are visiting, do not actually show proper manners in hosting Jane and Lizzy etc. By constantly putting others down and mentioning their connections to trade, they only highlight their own because who could stop the thought from crossing their mind once they bring it up? they are attempting to act high, but failing outside some surface areas because they don't get the subtle bits of breeding you gain from growing up in a social circle. Every time I read the book or watch a movie, I just keep thinking to myself that if Caroline would just shut up, she would do a much better job of pulling off a Gentlewoman facade! She is her own worst enemy in the book. Thanks for this video - because of it I'm seeing that Pride & Prejudice don't JUST exist in Darcy and Elizabeth but most of the side characters as well. The book is really rife with this and I hadn't specifically noticed before. And the Crawford comparison - genius!
They also literally meant well bred. Like you would use that term with a pedigreed dog. That they have good genetics. Not sickly, attractive, tall, good posture, fecundity, certain personality and mental traits like being outgoing and friendly, and not being nervous or given to depression. Their families thought in terms of generations, so they wanted to bring in the best genetic materials to maintain their line. It also solidified the concept of them being deserving of their position via birth if they were "well bred" i.e. genetically superior from the moment of conception. Of course, a lot of this would be glossed over for a marriage with the right title or fortune, but they were definitely considering marriage matches based on potential genetic contribution.
What a delightful video. By the way, I appreciated the analysis of Henry Crawford and would be very interested in a fuller discussion of Mansfield Park.
I admire the drive to become a better person and in that vein, I would strive to be a proper gentle lady. However, to women of the time, the world was rather stifling and terrible, so that would rather tarnish the gloss of striving to be a gentle lady in my opinion.
I’m 61 and was raised in the country club set. My mother always had a copy of Emily Post at hand. As you would say, I was “raised that way “I do look at the way someone holds their silverware or if they know which glass to drink from or if a man walks on the street side of the sidewalk when with a woman I noticed if he has gentlemanly manners. I notice grammar and vocabulary. I’m not judging, but I was raised with a certain set of manners and etiquette. Just like you said someone would notice a person not native to a country that might have subtle things that were different, I noticed whether person has gentlemanly/ ladylike manners
Loved this! I also think it's really interesting the value that Jane Austen puts on those morals as being even more important than actually being "well born". For example, Emma begins her story by believing Mr. Robert Martin to not be good enough for her friend, believing him to be inferior because he's a farmer. She then tries to set Harriet up with Mr. Elton.However, in the end, she has learned that farmer or not, Mr. Martin is superior to Mr. Elton in character and that is what matter more. Even the relationship between Emma and Harriet. Emma gives Harriet "a little polish" in her manners, but in true morals, Emma only leads her astray by teaching Harriet to feel superior to her friends, the Martins. In the end, when Mr. Knightley proposed she even thinks of it, thinking that Harriet is the moral superior when compared to herself.
What an excellent explanation! In my case, being raised in the South (note the capital s), gentlemanly behaviour and gentlemanly manners (gentlewomanly, too, of course) were taught by and mostly enforced by my grandparents' generation, but we got the lectures, lessons, and "corrections" all the time from anyone other than ourselves. They were probably the same ones Mr. Darcy would have received had he been a real person. In school, it was always easy to tell who'd been taught gentility and who hadn't, but, more importantly, who exercised it and who exploited it.
If you want to go back a century, a lot of 18th century novels looked at the concept of 'nature's gentlemen ' ie someone of lower birth who had the inate refinements of the high class ones esp if contrasted with high status boors
I really really love this content. When you stopped doing it, I tried to find some as accurate and enjoyable as yours and couldn't. Please, keep doing it from time to time.
I would suggest that whether focusing on Jane Austen's work, fashion and deportment history, or a completely different topic; I think we simply enjoy and appreciate how your deliver the information. ❤
Your videos helped me in understanding Jane Austen's novel!😁 the first time i picked up Pride and Prejudice, i was so confused by the words and the pacing, i thought it was overwhelming and was going to give up o reading it, but your videos helped me understand it better, and now I'm actually having a good time reading this novel! Thanks for the great content! 😁👍
I'm very happy to hear you elaborate the etymology of "gentle". At the same time, you might also have mentioned that there is no etymological difference between "gentle" as understood in the regency area and as we understand it today. So I wouldn't exclude that the connotations of "mild" and "sensitive" were very well present in the minds of regency era people already. I also presume that the connotations of what it means to be a gentleman has, over time, led to the meaning of the word today.
I love your videos. This may sound odd but i like that you don't retake shots when you stumble on your words. I have a similar issue when talking and hearing someone else speak like this while remaining to sound eloquent and informed gave me some hope.
If Fitzwilliam Darcy is human, I'm sure one of his first reactions to being put down as ungentlemanly must have been - "this criticism from a woman from THAT family??!!"
Indeed. As a society the quality of behavior has seriously devolved in the recent decades in both men and women, which is sad to see. There are many people who are arrogant, conceited, and with a selfish disdain for the feelings of others.
I like your observation that Darcy likely was not gentlemanly at the start of the novel because of how he was raised, and I think there’s more textual support for it than just his explanation. IIRC, Lady Catherine tells Lizzy that both her AND Darcy’s mother (her sister Anne) wanted Darcy to marry Catherine’s daughter when they came of age. This suggests to me that Anne and Catherine were on good terms, which in turn suggests that Anne was similar to Catherine in temperament and outlook. We know Catherine is a condescending horror of a person, so if Anne was similar (maybe not as bad, but on that same spectrum), then Darcy’s initial behavior isn’t surprising.
This was so so interesting, I love learning about other times and places. ❤ It was great to hear your old tag line at the end of the video also! Putting this video on repeat while I'm off clean my entire house now 😂 but srsly, love your content!
Excellent reflection on BOTH cultural and historical moirés, as well as individual character development. True kindness will always be a gift to humanity, not just a surface polish. Other Austen characters come to mind: the farmer in Emma, and Mr. Knightly. Love your return to Austen and historical topic! ❤
Fascinating video, Ellie! I've been a Jane Austen fan for years, and I didn't know a lot of that; I guess that's why Lizzie said to Lady Catherine that she was a gentleman's daughter, not that he was just a nice guy, but that he had some standing.
I just wanted to thank you for making such informative and fun (!!!) videos about the regency era. This one really makes me think of another beloved novel, the picture of dorian gray, because he is considered a gentleman in his society while being wel....not great :') Such an interesting topic.
This video makes me so happy ❤ I was literally so excited and thought it’s an old one first. Always loved your well prepared and funny videos about this topic and I learned so much thanks to you 😊
Thanks for coming back to Literature AND speaking about my favorite Jane Austen book (Mansfield Park) and the complete failure that Henry Crawford is as a gentleman. Personally I find him more the failure than Willoughby (landed but absent and poor) and Wickham (just plain poor but raised to be a gentleman) in that he so fails to live up to these standards when pressed and values being the life of the party (Tom Bertram pre-illness as well) beyond the role of his sphere. Also thank you for bringing in Sir Thomas and his failure as an example as well! Here I go fanboying Mansfield Park on a Darcy video...
Hi Ellie, I’ve been rewatching your videos to find one where you talked about Mr Darcy’s wealth and how “he really is the whole package…and that there’s a reason Jane Austen wrote him that way” in regency times but I can’t find the video where you mentioned that, could you please tell me if you remember , thanks!l
I think Mr. Bingley's situation is fascinating. He's not properly a gentleman (land-owning gentry), but clearly his manners and his money have everyone on board that he is 'gentleman-like'. Since their breeding was apparently good, I wonder what went wrong with Miss Bingley...
@@Su-krosLilyBitter that Darcy wouldn't have her, and poor Mrs Hurst was unhappy in her marriage. I never saw her as being as bad as Miss Bingley - sort of Kitty to her Lydia. It's hinted at the end of the book that Miss Bingley got better, though. Once she accepted Darcy's marriage she 'paid off every arrear of civility to Elizabeth.' I think she was imitating Darcy's own pride to seem his equal; once that didn't work she may have decided to improve her own character!
@@cmm5542 that’s a good point🤔 Miss Bingley didn’t really seem to have very bad flaws, she just wanted to marry Mr.Darcy and was jealous of Elizabeth. I guess it’s easy to feel like someone is such a villain (even when they’re not that bad) when they’re attacking the main character we’re routing for🙂
I have always had one issue with Darcy's transformation in P&P. Mrs. Reynolds, his housekeeper, sings his praises to Elizabeth and the Gardeners. Yet if he conducted himself in Darbyshire and on his estate in the proud, aloof manner he did in Hertfordshire, would Mrs. Reynolds still find him to be such a paragon of masters?
Shop Brooklinen’s Labor Day Sale and get 20% off your order by clicking my link here bit.ly/EllieBrooklinen. (*If you’re watching this video after 9/6, you can still get a discount by using my promo code EllieDashie for $20 off orders over $100.)
Hi @elliedashwood, I have a Pride and Prejudice question. At the end of the 1995 series, why is Mr Collins at Mr Darcy and Elizabeth wedding? We know Lady Catherine loathes the idea of that wedding so it is surprising to me (I haven’t read the book, Maybe it explains why)
@@chriscc8517in the book, Mr. and Mrs. Collins come back to visit her side of the family, and thereby are on the scene for the wedding, because Lady Catherine is just so angry that they don’t want to be around her😅 and, of course, Mrs. Collins is really actually very happy for Lizzy, so she wants to be there for her wedding.
I hope that explains it😊
@@Su-krosLily yes, Thanks a lot! I was so focused on that every time I saw the end 🤦🏻♀️😂
@@chriscc8517 you’re welcome!😄 I get like that too whenever I’m watching something and I have a question😂
I think the main reason Mr Darcy is still a beloved character (esp by women) is precisely because as you mentioned he changes not for the sake of winning Lizzy over, but because he values her opinion enough that when she calls out his flaws he seriously reconsiders his approach to life, regardless of if it will ever change her opinion of him. He even asked Lydia not to tell anyone about his assistance, Lizzy only found out bc Lydia can’t keep a secret. Even at the end when he makes his second proposal, he basically says “if you still don’t like me just say the word and I’ll never try to propose to you again”, the only reason he even proposed a second time was because Lizzy’s words to Lady Katherine de Bourgh gave him hope that her opinion of him had changed.
You are so right!
ugh i adore him
Yup, in modern terms, Darcy's response is basically "Wow, actually, when you put it that way, I have been kind of a dick, I'll uh, try to do better in the future, thanks for being honest with me." And then he actually does do better! A big part of his problem up to that point is that no one he knows has been honest to him about his flaws, either due to honestly just not being able to see them (like his sister, or his servants, who he's been unfailingly kind to) or wanting to suck up to him (like Caroline Bingly), so Lizzy's honest critique of his actions catches him off guard and forces him to re-evaluate how he treats other people.
@@techmage89 yeah, exactly! I get so mad when Hollywood tries to make him faultless, like he’s just shy or misunderstood, when we desperately need more of his type of changing and becoming better😔 his actual story of changing is so inspiring✨
THIS! This so much!
I like that even though you took your channel in a different direction, that you are still sprinkling in some of your earlier austen, literary and regency culture content too.
agreed
I had been missing these programs! Watched the old ones over and over. Lol
It's no wonder why Austen emphasized the importance of conduct and manners. She valued strong, true morals over the appearance of charm. She valued authenticity.
@AMoniqueOcampo, I agree. I also agree with Ellie that we need more gentlemanliness today, in both men and women. We, as a society, have lost our manners and kindness. While I don't like phony elitist behavior, to have the inner moral qualities that show on the outside is what our society needs now.
There's book called "A year as a gentleman" (unfortunately not translated into English) where the writer explores the traditional ways of gentlemen for a year. The fascinating thing is, it changed his life for good (even his clothing style) and he says now, years afterwards, that it probably saved his marriage. He also said afterwards that the most difficult thing to learn in practise was to keep or open doors for people, as it requires you to constantly *pay attention* to others.
The writer also has a lot to say about seeking to grow as a person. Not to become more effective which seems to be so important these days, but to become a better person.
Mr Darcy changing his ways because he sees the faults in himself and not to get the girl is why he's still a beloved character to this day.
So true!
And people wonder why we love Darcy so much. I think he even fits "gentleman" in the way we understand it today. In his second proposal he says that if she rejects him again he'll let the matter pass and never mention it again. It's a stark contrast to all the modern-day people who can't take a no for an answer 😬
Ellie, I forgot to add that I really appreciate the fact you included Mr. Darcy’s remorse/reflection on what a gentleman is. So many people don’t pay that much attention to his inner struggles. He is a much more insightful character than Bingley. I enjoy the characters that show true growth. Thanks again and thank you for your kind reply to my previous comment. You are awesome too!
Totally agree! This is what I love most at P&P 😃
I just finished reading Persuasion (again), and what really struck me this time around is how much Mr. Elliott appears to be a gentleman. His manners are agreeable to everyone. His opinions noxious to no one, and yet at the end is revealed as sort of a dark triad sociopath. Meanwhile Captain Wentworth, a truly generous, open hearted person who cares deeply for his friends, has excellent manners as well. What’s interesting is that his manners could be compared so favorably to those of Mr. Elliott, who is a scheming social climber, and a user of people - the polar opposite. You see the social utility of “good breeding”, and the way that having well-bred manners can cover up enormous personal deficiencies. Also interesting is the manner in which Austen critiques this idea of good manners, being the best judge a person’s worth in that novel, you see the more middle class characters as having true, genuine, character and warmth of affection, and the highest class people as un-interesting, self obsessed. Ann Elliott would rather go to tea with her almost penniless widow friend, Mrs. Smith, then go to a party with her distant cousin, a member of the nobility. Jane Austen is a truly underrated social critic, and evidently quite successful given that high society didn’t realize she was writing about them.
The perfect gentleman is Mr Knightley, he truly acted in every way like a gentleman.
Is friendship with Robert Martin is the reason I bestow him the title of "The best gentleman to ever gentleman in Jane Austen".
I am endorsed by no one and no qualification to decide such a thing.
Still the best gentleman.
I would add the way he treats the Miss Bates. When Emma made the snarky comment while the group was outdoors, Knightly takes Miss Bates away in show of his care for her feelings and then reproves Emma for her awfulness at that moment.
So glad to see you doing the occasional Regency video again. I first discovered your channel through your Jane Austen content, and really enjoyed those videos. I understand why you felt the need to change course on your channel. But you are so very good at this.
Aw, thank you!
Another interesting element to the scene when Miss Bingley compliments Darcy on his letter writing and penmanship is that she offers to mend his pen (quill) and claims that she mends pens quite well. This was a bit of an awkward flex at the time. One of the big complaints about quills, especially when steel pens became more readily available in the 1830s, is that mending quills is such a pain, and so few people do it well. Most people would buy quills in bundles, and when they wore out they might be mended once or twice, or, most likely either thrown away, or returned to the stationer from whom they had been purchased. The stationer would then have their specialists re-treat and re-cut the quills and sells them as second (or third) quality pens. Mending pens was seen as something menial that was done by clerks and school teachers. It was often complained of that it was their least-favorite part of their job and a huge inconvenience.
I'm not sure of the time period of Jane Austen, my expertise is focused more on mid-century onwards, and by that time it was more common for gentlemen to write more like Mr. Bingley, carelessly and not terribly well. Rapid, careless writing was a sign of an active man of the world who others would make the effort to understand. A good, clean, readable hand was something necessary for clerks, and so became more associated with those who had to write for a living, whereas the idle rich man could afford to be sloppy. He would often have a secretary to write out a "fair copy" if it was necessary. Women, definitely were still judged by their penmanship. They wrote the bulk of social letters and were expected to write in the style associated with elegance and taste.
I'm enjoying your videos and look forward to watching them all.
I love your point that few men actually behaved like "true gentlemen." So many people romanticize the past, thinking people were fundamentally better back then. They were not. Just like today, people were flawed. And there is always room for improvement, even for decent people.
Ellie! I’m so happy to see this video!! I love your historical, Jane Austin videos. I hope you’re doing well and thanks for making a senior lady happy! My grandkids think I am old, but my brain says not. Then my body starts laughing at me… Anyway take care dear lady and many blessings with big hugs!
Aw, yay! I hope you enjoy it! 😃 Also, grandkids think everyone is old. So they're always super unreliable sources on the topic.
@@EllieDashwood 💖
@@EllieDashwood You are SO RIGHT about kids thinking everyone is old lol! I remember, in 2nd grade, I thought my teacher was a little younger than middle age. I thought she was the age where most people can afford a home, to be married, and have children. When I found out she was 22, just graduated college, and still lived at home, (you know, college debt) I audibly gasped. We stayed close, and like most people, she didn’t get married until I was 16 and had her first child when I was 18.
Hi Ellie! I was thinking, Mr. Knightley from Emma was the only "perfect" gentleman from the begining, and waited for Emma's "evolution" the whole story trough, comparing with the other Austen heroes, do you agree?
I remember in "Barry Lyndon" some lord introduced Barry to the king and said "Your Majesty, Mr. Lyndon has raised a regiment for the war in America". and the king looked at Barry and said "Why didn't you go with it?" So Lyndon had wealth but not moral courage and sacrifice like a true gentleman.
I read a novel set in the time after WW1 and it talks about change in society . Being a noble or from the gentry would come with responsabily too . Men were expected to be leaders and go to war was their duty . To not serve was a stain on family honour . Some of the upper class proved to not be alble to raise to the expectations and were bad oficers , leaders . WW1 experience afected the social structure and soldiers who had a coward noble officer come back with the realisation the upper class was not really superior . Really being a gentleman indeed come with a moral code and duty and honour . You read about how suicide was a way to save family honour if one is find out to have done bad things .
Manners are one thing, but true kindness and doing the right thing is another.
8:10 - "What excellent boiled potatoes. It is many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable"
😂😂😂
This code of conduct explains why, in Emma, Mr Knightly refers to Robert Martin as “a gentleman farmer”.
I was surprised when I learned that vulgar meant common people, not how we think of it today.
Low people were thought to behave in the way we interpret vulgar today. Then again, I've understood that in the past (middle ages perhaps) it has been relatively common for all classes. The nowadays good, decent manners could also been viewed as prissy.
The more I learn about Mr Darcy the more I want to cry because he doesn’t exist irl 😭.
I can only raise my sons to be as gentlemanly as possible.
Marry a man who is a gentleman on the streets and a rake in the sheets. Em I right ladies?!
really love this channel because i know 0 ppl who are into discussing regency era- all-things-jane-austen things
The concept of being a gentleman in P &P is also clearly seen by Col Fitz-William when he speaks of Mr. Bingley and refers to Bingley as having gentleman-like behavior. That is him addressing a bit of the social divide between him-being the son of an earl- and Mr. Bingley coming from a family of Trade but who has an independent fortune. Mr. Bingley and his sisters are in a transitional class.
Yes, Colonel FitzWilliam is a true gentleman!
@@zazubombay Indeed. He's one of those character in JA that one wishes was in the book more! I haven't read any of alternative P &P novels based on the characters inhabiting other novels. He's a pivotal character to add depth to not only Darcy- both he and Darcy are guardians of Georgianna, Darcy's sister--but we learn of the plight of less wealthy aristocratic men who need to marry well to continue their lifestyle.
I always enjoy your literary and historical content. I'm interested in your take on the three almost gentleman in P&P - Mr. Wickham, who was given a gentleman's education, Mr. Collins, who is a clergyman and the heir to an estate, but seems to not understand what it means, and Mr. Gardiner, who is indistinguishable from gentry in his dress, speech and behavior, but is in trade.
I'd really love to hear your analysis on this too, I think it would be fascinating
That reaffirms what Austen values, the authenticity of morals and behavior, which is why at the end of P&P, she writes that the Darcy’s remained intimate with the Gardiner’s..
I would love that. It’s funny, as a Chinese-American woman married to Mexican-American man, living in 21st century Los Angeles, that I would care about cultural norms of Regency England. But since I do, I am glad to have Ellie explain it to me.
So happy to see a regency video from you again, you're so good at discussing this era!
So happy to see another history and literature video! The lifestyle stuff is fun, but I really love these.
I just want to gossip with you about Austen characters. Tell me: do you think the Miss Steeles are actually cousins of Mrs. Jennings, or do you think they just made up some relationship and flattered Mrs. Jennings into believing it?
Also, I think Miss Crawford already knew how to ride a horse 😏
So glad to be back in the world of Jane Austin again. How about ‘How to be a True Regency Era Lady’? Apologies if you’ve already covered that topic. I just think it would be interesting because the rules that governed every aspect of a ladies life were so restrictive.
Me too! And the Bertram sisters would be a great example on the distaff side of moral education getting neglected while they check all the other boxes.
@archervine8064 I'm not so sure about the Bertram girls lacking moral education. Maria's and Julia's behavior was more rebellion. Sir Thomas was very strict with his children as far as what he expected from his children. Maria, Julia, Tom, Edmund, and Fanny all knew what was right. They all had a similar education, at least as far as moral character building went. But Maria, Tom, and to some extent, Julia all went off the rails as soon as their father left for Jamaica.
I think a better example of a lack of moral education would be the Steel sisters, Willoughby, Robert Ferras and Fanny Ferras Dashwood.
@@Rebecca_English I see where you are going there, and I agree that Sir Thomas tried. Where I think he failed to educate them morally is that his focus was almost entirely on their outward behavior. They could parrot the jargon of morality and he didn’t see that it was only skin deep until they grew up and began to act more independently.
Im excited to see this video and glad that you’re revisiting some history and lit content (hopefully) out of desire rather than pressure!
Aw, thank you! I actually shot this video last year and never edited it (cause I was just too burned out back then to do so). Then I rediscovered it recently and was like, "Hey, I should finish that." 😂
But there are definitely changes coming to my channel soon! If you're interested in updates, I generally give them out first over on IG: instagram.com/elliedashie/ 😃
It looks like one of the changes is to the shorts, as I see a lot of them have disappeared from this channel.
Ellie thanks for the video. Today was terrible and I cried all day, but you return the joy and remind me that there is a place for good in life.
I hope things improve for you.
I love the concept of "behaving like a gentleman/lady". Not the high born and nobles should rule part 😉 but the "I try to be a better person - kind, generous, well educated and polite" part. I think it's sad that this got a bit lost over the last decades.
Me too! I feel the same.
Thankfully in our day, good manners don't belong to a specific class! Being polite and considerate of others is classy!🧡
"Disguise of every sort is my abhorrence!"
Same conversation.
"Yes, I was aware of your sister being in town, and hid that fact from Bingley. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm PROUD of it." (Paraphrased, because I don't have it handy).
He's also a hypocrite.
I love your breakdown of how upper-class behavior was perceived as the gold standard, I just have one thought that’s still rattling around in my brain so I’ll share it here 😂 when you mentioned thinking it’s interesting that their behavior became perceived as the best behavior, I wondered if whether what really happened is that these early aristocrats were simply examining their preexisting Christian worldview, which already held traits like gentleness, kindness, presentableness in high regard, and so they adopted them as the ideal they should strive for. It might not be that we today still find these traits to be good because we were conditioned to by the aristocrats, but that the idea these traits are good long preceded them.
Chaucer’s Knight. He was a true,perfect,gentle knight…’
This was amazing, so glad you found this video and decided to post. I know JA is not the content you are focusing on now but thank you for indulging us ❤ I’ve been doing a lot of reading on Jane Austen and virtue ethics, so this topic fits right in!
Ellie, long-time follower here. I enjoy listening to you talk so much that I even watched the whole of your sponsorship segment, plus your outro (something I never do with other channels)! You are such a natural teacher. Plus, your visual aids in your presentation (pics and text) make learning so easy. I would listen to any topic you presented, even if it wasn't Regency or literature related. Please never stop making these deep dives into history!
And by the way those soft cool colours on the screen, in your home and your grey top, are so harmonious with your natural colouring; visually your channel is so often a treat for the eyes too.
Your comment about manners covering major character flaws really struck me as true. It is easy for a person to cover bad character with a good social script because it allows them to respond in a pleasing way without any good feeling. It is easy to cover your disdain of a person in an introduction, for example, because all one has to do to appear pleasent is smile and say, "Pleased to meet you," followed by a meaningless comment about the weather.
Thank you for explaining what being a gentleman meant back then. I think I knew but never heard broken down like that. Mr. Darcy was very smart to look at himself and improve after Lizzie’s statement of why she would not accept him. I enjoy these videos so much! ❤
Brooklinen doesn't make deep enough fitted sheets, we need like 18" because we have a mattress topper. "Sponsorship Ellie", that's cute!
I know a lot of people are disappointed when Henry and Fanny don’t get together, but it’s that exact reason why Henry doesn’t change-the lack of self-reflection. I think Henry, much like his sister, is very attracted to goodness. Not only in Fanny, but when he actually starts trying, he’s fascinated by the simplistic but earnest goodness of William. He sees this morality that he finds very charming, that he wants to emulate. I think there’s a genuine desire to become like that. But the problem is, he treats it like any other thing he wants in life. He picks it up for his own pleasure and expects it to be easy. There’s no self-reflection. There’s no deep soul-searching about how he treats and thinks about women. There’s no deep consideration for why he is the way he is, or how to combat the awful examples he’s had all his life.
THAT’S why Darcy is so loved by women. He changes not for a woman, not to get something else in life, but because he wants to be a better person. Because it’s the right thing to do.
Reminds me of Margaret and Thornton talking about men and gentleman a few decades later
I'm so glad you did Austen content again! I"ve missed it terribly!!!!
2:55 Fanny in ‘Sense and Sensibility’ (1995) talking about Lucy Steele’s beau: “Is he of good fortune and breeding?”
I am so happy that you made another Jane Austen video. I find them so informative and interesting. Thanks.
BRB, rewatching the 1990s Lizzie mic drop moment for the millionth time
I will never stop mentioning ‘Jane Austen for Dummies’ because it details the life of men in Regency Era England along with the rules of succession.
And now Lizzie's statement that Darcy is a gentleman, and she, a gentleman's daughter, makes a lot of sense.
Basically, they're both essentially from the same class of people.
Precisely! And I have a whole video on that here: Are Lizzy and Darcy in the Same Social Class? Pride and Prejudice and Regency Society Examined
ruclips.net/video/jYkPnEEogng/видео.html
In one of the Patrick O'brian books there is an insult where "he still needs to have his sheets ruled for him"
I was raised to be kind, moral, and good mannered for my own self-respect and not just because of what others think, and tried to do the same with my grown children. I care way more about them being good people than about them being successful or attractive, etc. But now I see that it’s going to look different depending on social class, and that “lower class” people have some unique moral qualities that I can admire and learn from that I didn’t learn so well as a middle class child striving to act more like the western ideal upper class. Through a couple close contacts I’ve had the last ten years or so, and some reading on the topic of class and non-western cultures, I’ve grown to appreciate qualities like valuing experiences over possessions, really prioritizing enjoying time with loved ones, sharing, tolerance of others, honoring caretakers, forgiveness, valuing story telling and humility. Each culture has wonderful good qualities to aspire to. ❤
YAY MORE AUSTEN/REGENCY CONTENT LETS GOOOOO
I think it's interesting that the English language has two distinct words about being polite and kind, thus it acknowledges that it is possible to have polite manners but not to be a kind person. In my mother tongue Greek the word ευγενής is used for both these cases but I think it is very common to have well bred manners but not real kindness and perhaps modern parents make the same mistakes than the regency ones in being interested mainly in the appearances and not instilling a true moral core in their children.
I like it the extra insight this gives into Mr. Darcy's point of view in the story. It's no wonder Pride and Prejudice is a popular classic - it's so complex and multifaceted with such deep characterization.
I've missed your regency videos.
“they were original influencers” i laughed so hard 😂
haha, I had a long convo with my French husband once about what "gentleman" meant in the past during the 18th and 19th centuries, and the simple answer was that it was a class of person, as in the gentry, a landowner, whether noble or not, or possibly a "person of leisure" meaning they have passive income and don't need to actually work for a living. He was really shocked when I said this and that back in the day it didn't really have the connotation of like chivalry or something like that as it does now, hahahaha, I mean maybe there was a certain code of conduct that the men of the gentry lived by and that's where our connotation comes from, but it's not the original meaning. I think the French version "gentilhomme" has always had this chivalry connotation to it from what my husband says.
I think the sense of 'noblesse oblige' always played a role in a gentleman's status; privileges come with responsibilities! 😁
French here!
We did our best to destroy the nobility, of those who survived the Révolution, many lost whatever fortune they still had during the *industrial* revolution.
So yeah what few nobles we still have, lost their money, assets and privilèges but they still have the title :D
The title is only transmitted to the eldest son, so they are quietly phased out.
And please note thet bloodbath of the Révolution is taught as a good thing in France and I learned in *primary school* a song about hanging aristocrats to lamppost, so yeah flauting your title is a good way to get bullied in France.
We kicked down the noblesse but we kept the word gentilhomme to describe the ideal behaviour.
Quite ironic isn't
I 100% support your new lifestyle content, but I simultaneously miss these types of videos so much!
So fascinating 🤓
Thanks so much Ellie! ❤
Wecome back.
Thank you for this! It really expanded my understanding of the books and characters. Some of this I had already a nebulous idea in the back of my mind, but this really defined it for me - that nagging feeling in the back of my mind. I wonder if, as a purposeful contrast, we have Mrs. Bennet, who is not well bred, does NOT modify her behavior nor enable good breeding in her daughters but expects them to magically make good matches better than their father. She is an example of someone moving upward class-wise, but not changing her behavior to match her new class. Not even seeming to try. She does not model manners, tone etc and does not even hire a governess to do it for her, does not even appear to notice that she does not match her new class and does not try to ape the Gentry behaviors. The eldest 2 gain 'breeding' from their Aunt in town.
Its an interesting point that I just noticed because of this video - we have multiple examples of social movement / behaviors in P & P and they make an intriguing comparison. Mr. Darcy and his moment here with his internal motivation for change; Mrs. Bennet and her lack of change; Mr. Bingley and his manners but also not really getting that you don't show such obvious preferences to a woman then disappear and not take leave of the neighborhood; the Bingley sisters attempting to make the sphere change and ape the new manners, but also not really understanding the subtle things - like eating potatoes! - that mark Gentry. The B sisters talk too much of their dowry, are not kind to servants, publicly speak negatively about the community of Gentry they are visiting, do not actually show proper manners in hosting Jane and Lizzy etc. By constantly putting others down and mentioning their connections to trade, they only highlight their own because who could stop the thought from crossing their mind once they bring it up? they are attempting to act high, but failing outside some surface areas because they don't get the subtle bits of breeding you gain from growing up in a social circle. Every time I read the book or watch a movie, I just keep thinking to myself that if Caroline would just shut up, she would do a much better job of pulling off a Gentlewoman facade! She is her own worst enemy in the book.
Thanks for this video - because of it I'm seeing that Pride & Prejudice don't JUST exist in Darcy and Elizabeth but most of the side characters as well. The book is really rife with this and I hadn't specifically noticed before. And the Crawford comparison - genius!
Watching this while nursing my one-month-old little boy hoping to pick up some pointers 😂
They also literally meant well bred. Like you would use that term with a pedigreed dog. That they have good genetics. Not sickly, attractive, tall, good posture, fecundity, certain personality and mental traits like being outgoing and friendly, and not being nervous or given to depression. Their families thought in terms of generations, so they wanted to bring in the best genetic materials to maintain their line. It also solidified the concept of them being deserving of their position via birth if they were "well bred" i.e. genetically superior from the moment of conception. Of course, a lot of this would be glossed over for a marriage with the right title or fortune, but they were definitely considering marriage matches based on potential genetic contribution.
Ohhh nooo I already SMASHED the like button. Too late to be refined.
Oh i miss these videos!!!
What a delightful video. By the way, I appreciated the analysis of Henry Crawford and would be very interested in a fuller discussion of Mansfield Park.
I admire the drive to become a better person and in that vein, I would strive to be a proper gentle lady. However, to women of the time, the world was rather stifling and terrible, so that would rather tarnish the gloss of striving to be a gentle lady in my opinion.
I’m 61 and was raised in the country club set. My mother always had a copy of Emily Post at hand. As you would say, I was “raised that way “I do look at the way someone holds their silverware or if they know which glass to drink from or if a man walks on the street side of the sidewalk when with a woman I noticed if he has gentlemanly manners. I notice grammar and vocabulary. I’m not judging, but I was raised with a certain set of manners and etiquette. Just like you said someone would notice a person not native to a country that might have subtle things that were different, I noticed whether person has gentlemanly/ ladylike manners
Loved this! I also think it's really interesting the value that Jane Austen puts on those morals as being even more important than actually being "well born". For example, Emma begins her story by believing Mr. Robert Martin to not be good enough for her friend, believing him to be inferior because he's a farmer. She then tries to set Harriet up with Mr. Elton.However, in the end, she has learned that farmer or not, Mr. Martin is superior to Mr. Elton in character and that is what matter more.
Even the relationship between Emma and Harriet. Emma gives Harriet "a little polish" in her manners, but in true morals, Emma only leads her astray by teaching Harriet to feel superior to her friends, the Martins. In the end, when Mr. Knightley proposed she even thinks of it, thinking that Harriet is the moral superior when compared to herself.
I notice that engineers have very precise clean handwriting. Artists also spend the time to use penmanship as an important part of expression.
What an excellent explanation! In my case, being raised in the South (note the capital s), gentlemanly behaviour and gentlemanly manners (gentlewomanly, too, of course) were taught by and mostly enforced by my grandparents' generation, but we got the lectures, lessons, and "corrections" all the time from anyone other than ourselves. They were probably the same ones Mr. Darcy would have received had he been a real person. In school, it was always easy to tell who'd been taught gentility and who hadn't, but, more importantly, who exercised it and who exploited it.
If you want to go back a century, a lot of 18th century novels looked at the concept of 'nature's gentlemen ' ie someone of lower birth who had the inate refinements of the high class ones esp if contrasted with high status boors
I would like to be an accomplished woman, but I would certainly not have the means to do it.
I was missing this type of content!!!!
I really really love this content. When you stopped doing it, I tried to find some as accurate and enjoyable as yours and couldn't. Please, keep doing it from time to time.
Omg yess! Another regency vid🤩
You have an outstanding talent for teaching these things. I know noone else who does it as well as you do it. Thank you very much for your videos! ❤
I would suggest that whether focusing on Jane Austen's work, fashion and deportment history, or a completely different topic; I think we simply enjoy and appreciate how your deliver the information. ❤
I would put a thousand likes if I could!❤❤❤❤ I’m so happy you are doing these videos again!!!!!!
The marriage is beautiful and should be honored.
Your videos helped me in understanding Jane Austen's novel!😁 the first time i picked up Pride and Prejudice, i was so confused by the words and the pacing, i thought it was overwhelming and was going to give up o reading it, but your videos helped me understand it better, and now I'm actually having a good time reading this novel! Thanks for the great content! 😁👍
You're glowing in this video ❤
I'm very happy to hear you elaborate the etymology of "gentle". At the same time, you might also have mentioned that there is no etymological difference between "gentle" as understood in the regency area and as we understand it today. So I wouldn't exclude that the connotations of "mild" and "sensitive" were very well present in the minds of regency era people already. I also presume that the connotations of what it means to be a gentleman has, over time, led to the meaning of the word today.
Hi Ellie, Have you ever read any of georgette heyers regency romances? Would love to hear your take on the characters in these
I love your videos. This may sound odd but i like that you don't retake shots when you stumble on your words. I have a similar issue when talking and hearing someone else speak like this while remaining to sound eloquent and informed gave me some hope.
I'd probably be poor, but I would still try to be kind.
So glad to see a Regency episode. I love Jane Austen. Its how I found your channel. I also love the new content as well.
If Fitzwilliam Darcy is human, I'm sure one of his first reactions to being put down as ungentlemanly must have been - "this criticism from a woman from THAT family??!!"
Thanks for sharing, Ellie! A lot of men could learn a few things from your video.
Aw, thank you! 😃
@@EllieDashwood you're welcome ☺️
Indeed. As a society the quality of behavior has seriously devolved in the recent decades in both men and women, which is sad to see. There are many people who are arrogant, conceited, and with a selfish disdain for the feelings of others.
I like your observation that Darcy likely was not gentlemanly at the start of the novel because of how he was raised, and I think there’s more textual support for it than just his explanation. IIRC, Lady Catherine tells Lizzy that both her AND Darcy’s mother (her sister Anne) wanted Darcy to marry Catherine’s daughter when they came of age. This suggests to me that Anne and Catherine were on good terms, which in turn suggests that Anne was similar to Catherine in temperament and outlook. We know Catherine is a condescending horror of a person, so if Anne was similar (maybe not as bad, but on that same spectrum), then Darcy’s initial behavior isn’t surprising.
Lol, I had a jr high teacher tell me that I wrote like a boy. I was just in a hurry to get the my thoughts down & assignment done
Your analyses are wonderful. Youve been blessed with an excellent mind and sense of humor.
This was so so interesting, I love learning about other times and places. ❤ It was great to hear your old tag line at the end of the video also! Putting this video on repeat while I'm off clean my entire house now 😂 but srsly, love your content!
Excellent reflection on BOTH cultural and historical moirés, as well as individual character development.
True kindness will always be a gift to humanity, not just a surface polish.
Other Austen characters come to mind: the farmer in Emma, and Mr. Knightly.
Love your return to Austen and historical topic! ❤
Fascinating video, Ellie! I've been a Jane Austen fan for years, and I didn't know a lot of that; I guess that's why Lizzie said to Lady Catherine that she was a gentleman's daughter, not that he was just a nice guy, but that he had some standing.
Thank you for being awesome and bringing us some great regency-era content again!
I just wanted to thank you for making such informative and fun (!!!) videos about the regency era. This one really makes me think of another beloved novel, the picture of dorian gray, because he is considered a gentleman in his society while being wel....not great :') Such an interesting topic.
This video makes me so happy ❤ I was literally so excited and thought it’s an old one first. Always loved your well prepared and funny videos about this topic and I learned so much thanks to you 😊
Thanks for coming back to Literature AND speaking about my favorite Jane Austen book (Mansfield Park) and the complete failure that Henry Crawford is as a gentleman. Personally I find him more the failure than Willoughby (landed but absent and poor) and Wickham (just plain poor but raised to be a gentleman) in that he so fails to live up to these standards when pressed and values being the life of the party (Tom Bertram pre-illness as well) beyond the role of his sphere. Also thank you for bringing in Sir Thomas and his failure as an example as well!
Here I go fanboying Mansfield Park on a Darcy video...
Hi Ellie, I’ve been rewatching your videos to find one where you talked about Mr Darcy’s wealth and how “he really is the whole package…and that there’s a reason Jane Austen wrote him that way” in regency times but I can’t find the video where you mentioned that, could you please tell me if you remember , thanks!l
I think Mr. Bingley's situation is fascinating. He's not properly a gentleman (land-owning gentry), but clearly his manners and his money have everyone on board that he is 'gentleman-like'. Since their breeding was apparently good, I wonder what went wrong with Miss Bingley...
I wonder that too, like what was her and her sister’s problem???
@@Su-krosLilyBitter that Darcy wouldn't have her, and poor Mrs Hurst was unhappy in her marriage. I never saw her as being as bad as Miss Bingley - sort of Kitty to her Lydia.
It's hinted at the end of the book that Miss Bingley got better, though. Once she accepted Darcy's marriage she 'paid off every arrear of civility to Elizabeth.' I think she was imitating Darcy's own pride to seem his equal; once that didn't work she may have decided to improve her own character!
@@cmm5542 that’s a good point🤔 Miss Bingley didn’t really seem to have very bad flaws, she just wanted to marry Mr.Darcy and was jealous of Elizabeth. I guess it’s easy to feel like someone is such a villain (even when they’re not that bad) when they’re attacking the main character we’re routing for🙂
13:19 I love a good example of penmanship. Also, I was raised in a tough school.
“What happened to hello, how are you, I have fine penmanship.”
I have always had one issue with Darcy's transformation in P&P. Mrs. Reynolds, his housekeeper, sings his praises to Elizabeth and the Gardeners. Yet if he conducted himself in Darbyshire and on his estate in the proud, aloof manner he did in Hertfordshire, would Mrs. Reynolds still find him to be such a paragon of masters?
Oh, thank God, your back to the content that interested me!