3 Things That Could Rob Your Retirement
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
- This video discusses 3 things that could ruin your retirement, key decisions you make early in retirement can have a profound effect on the quality of your retirement. Don't make these mistakes and loose your retirement golden years. The early years of retirement in your 60's are the go-go years, you only get this opportunity once in your life.
#retirement #retireearly #normandtina #this_is_our_retirement #retirement #retireearly
We just bought this blood pressure monitor for retirement health, it's very good! geni.us/dyMYuk (contains affiliate link)
We are members of the Amazon affiliate program, these links contain a referral code where we earn a small commission on your order, you do not pay any extra at Amazon by using our referral link. Thanks for supporting our channel.
Our Favourite Amazon finds
USB Data Blocker geni.us/BdMiD
Tina’s Magnetic Bracelet geni.us/8577jj
Smart Watch America geni.us/Q74tFBF
Air Fryer America geni.us/T3qv
2 Step Verification Key geni.us/Yubike...
Powerbank geni.us/5hRy6
Canon Lens geni.us/lQiov
Smart Wallet For Travel geni.us/aytU4z8
Our filming equipment for RUclips contain Amazon Affiliate links
Camera geni.us/wUa8drk
Camera geni.us/v3jTF
Lens geni.us/lQiov
Studio Lights geni.us/BicZ
Light Modifier geni.us/zMeFcL5
Light Modifier geni.us/ruJGz20
Microphone geni.us/XoPSHQ
Selfie Stick geni.us/MkfqBK
✅ Subscribe to see our new videos www.youtube.co...
Try Audible Plus Get Up To 2 Free Books amzn.to/3WIap3Y
Kindle Unlimited amzn.to/3YJYBAc
Amazon Prime 30 day free trail amzn.to/3hObvg2
NORM & TINA'S MOST POPULAR RUclips VIDEOS
What shocked Us Living In Canada | Moving From The U.K.
• WHAT SHOCKED US ABOUT ...
What Shocked Us First Trip To America - UK Canadians
• What Shocked Us First ...
Things We Wished We Knew Before Retirement
• Things We Wished We Kn...
Average Net Worth Of Retirees At 65 - How Do You Compare
• Average Net Worth Of R...
How Much Is Winter In The Algarve Portugal - We Show You
• How Much Is Winter In ...
All Photographs and Video Clips are the copyright and owned by ©This Is Our Retirement and cannot be used without permission.
✅ Subscribe to see our new videos www.youtube.co...
🎬 Watch our latest video here / markmaker3
#This_Is_Our_Retirement
WE ARE NOT FINANCIAL OR INSURANCE ADVISORS, WE ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO GIVE FINANCIAL AND INSURANCE ADVICE, THIS VIDEO IS FOR INFORMATION AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. PLEASE SEEK OUT PROFESSIONAL FINANCIAL AND INSURANCE ADVICE BEFORE MAKING ANY INVESTMENT DECISIONS AND PURCHASING INSURANCE.
![Chino Pacas - Modo Capone (with Drake & JOP) [Video Visualizador Oficial]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Zoc75M8Swhc/mqdefault.jpg)
![COLOMBIA vs. CHILE [4-0] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 10](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TDjN4W3yy1k/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you for all the wonderful comments for Norm, we have another video that might be interesting for you here: ruclips.net/video/riTFJJ5cpnQ/видео.html
I am retired but a US Army disability put me out of work at 44 years of age, but I’m 71 today (born 1951/11). I do not travel anymore too many physical health problems. The biggest thing that I accomplish was completing four years of online college courses at the age of 70, a Bachelor of Ministry degree in Christian Counseling. I had plans to help others to get over or through life's struggles not now, but I got my degree which was a top priority for my 50-year dream. Started at 66.
Additionally: Restless bones is what I have, so if I can find the right online classes, off to school again. I will be 72 years old by then. At the last school, they had asked me “Do you want to enroll in our Masters's degree program?” At the time, no, I need a break 1/2 year and see what happens. My study habits pleased them, I have all ‘A’s in 16/17 classes under my belt finishing with a GPA of 4.0. Not bad for an old guy, would not you say! High school dropout in 1967 at 16. And yes, I did finally receive my high school diploma in 1975/4 while I was in the US Army, and there is more to the story, not now maybe later I will add to encourage others to pursue their dream.
Wow.
Congratulations 👏 Rudolph on getting your degree 📜 never too old to learn thanks for sharing have a wonderful weekend Cheers 🇺🇸🍷🌺🍺
Congrats mucho Rudolph!!! Love that you accomplished such an amazing goal and are living in you passion project now!! Cheers from the Midwest!
We have our grandkids two days a week. They grow up so fast. We are enjoying every minute. We helped a lot with Terri’s Dad. He recently passed. We do not regret helping them. It’s all about setting boundaries to make sure that you can still enjoy retirement. Thanks for another great video Tina and Norm.
Congratulations Rudolph! that resonates to me so much. I have immigrated form Ukraine at the age of almost 40 and started ny new career in Canada from scrach. 10 years of getting into medical school and residency. Became doctor at 50. Will be working till 70, I guess
Norm & Tina, my very best to both of you. You're wonderful! I too just had a cyst removed from above my right ear and after three weeks found out it was benign. Every day is precious.
I'm 64 and single. A couple years ago I had an operation and had fear of losing my independence until I recovered but I should not have worried. I bought groceries online and they were delivered right to my door like magic. I paid a young man in my building to do my laundry and he even offered to make my bed (which he did and got an extra tip). Once or twice I had a restaurant deliver a roast beef dinner and another time a turkey dinner.
A barber came and cut my hair. The building super's brother gave my apartment a good cleaning. My doctor did Facetime with me so I didn't have to leave my apartment. Where's there's a will....
The thing is I did not have to rely on friends and relatives. I found your video today utterly powerful, Norm & Tina.
People think it's cheaper to rely on friends and family. It's not. I kept my dignity and independence. And within a few months was out walking 10km a day again.
I am 73, healthy and financially comfortable. Been retired for 16 years. No matter what else happens going forward, I've already won this game..😊
Happy for your biopsy results, Norm...😊😊
Good attitude. I was born in a very poor country in Africa. My parents could not read or wrote their own names in their own language. Thats beyond illiterate. However they managed to put me through school, then I slowly crawed my way to college. Now at 48, I am making decent money, bought a small house in a developed country and I see myself as I have arrived. Don't get me wrong I am still hustling, indeed looking to buy my second home. But deep down I know I have been blessed way beyond my wildest dreams
I’m a teacher and I see more and more grandparents dragging themselves to take care of young grandchildren and think this isn’t fair at all! Thank you for your golden advise of retiring while we have our health ❤
Ils ont fait des grosses qu'ils prennent leurs RESPONSABILITÉS.
LES PARENTS DOIVENT ASSUMER DE LEURS GOSSE QUILS ONT PONDUES
My parents helped raise my children. It was the only way that I could have achieved/maintained the career that I did. Did travel a lot for personal and work reasons. Saw the world. When my parents fell ill, we looked after both of them to the last day. I really do not think that any of us thought we were putting “our” lives on hold. Rather, we were loving and living deeply. Would love to help my children raise their children. I would enjoy a holiday once or twice a year. But otherwise, would be thrilled to be so needed by my family. Retirement looks rather bleak without the purpose of helping one’s family.
Alexandra, I couldn't agree more your comment. We took care of my mother for over 15 years and after she passed away we then provided care to my mother-in-law for another 10 years. That's what families do...they look after each other. When our kids have children some day we hope to be involved with them as they enrich our lives so much. We do travel and have had some amazing experiences. We plan to travel in our retirement, a trip or two a year.
I started work at 16 in a factory and something struck me quite early on. Every few months one of the men would reach 65 and there would be a collection to buy him a retirement gift. A few times there would be another collection for the same man about one to two years later. This time it was flowers for his funeral.
Isn’t that so sad , but it’s reality the older you get the harder it is to change in to retirement mode Cheers 🍷🌺🙂
Excellent video. Familial obligations can definitely put a damper on future plans. The care of elderly parents is something that all families need to discuss long before a crisis strikes. As much as online shopping apps and Meals on Wheels can help keep Mom and Dad stocked with groceries and personal items, and nursing agencies can help with bathing and medications, etc, realistically, the wheels fall off the bus pretty darn quickly when Alzheimer’s and other dementias are involved. No matter how good you are at quarterbacking all of these outside supports (or setting boundaries for yourself), there is NO getting around it. You will be extensively involved in your loved one’s care for at least some period of time until they enter a long term care facility. There are many sons and daughters, husbands and wives, who are not enjoying the retirements they hoped for because of the epidemic of dementia-related illnesses and the shameful lack of support from our health-care system.
Best wishes to you. You speak what a lot of us are concerned about. And someday it will be us going through it.
Agreed 100%! Dementia and Alzheimers change the game completely. It's also been my experience that even once in a long term care home, it is essential to be your loved one's advocate (ie: trips to the Emergency room, issues that arise, etc.).
My siblings dumped 97% of my sick parents care on me. They would have left them to die. I am not joking.
yes i agree and i fully expect this may have a tremdendous impact on me one day having a parent with alzheimers becasue if my other parent goes first at this point we will be in a family crisis to care for my parent who can not be left alone even with support services at this stage now. fully support my parents decision to stay home while they can to avoid the least amount of time possible in a nursing home.
@@Sandraadee1 thank you for the information. good to know as i may be faced with this one day.
Regarding the care of elderly parents, it's important to recognize that sooner than we think we will be the elderly parents that our kids are wondering what to do with. I think it's vital that we keep up with the things you mention -- ordering things we need on Amazon, getting a lawn or snow service -- so they don't have to. The hardest thing for me was when my mother needed care, she wouldn't agree to it, or pay for it when she obviously couldn't do these things herself. I want to set an example for my kids of making decisions on the support we will need so that they don't have to worry about us. I also think when someone starts doing things for you, you get slower. It's the day-to-day chores that keep you fit and connected to life.
You are spot on regarding older parents. I'm 63, my husband is almost 61 and we have been attending to my elderly mom (93). My husband will be retiring in six to twelve months, thank goodness.. Mom lives in a retirement community with all the bells and whistles and plenty of interesting things to do. She would have nothing to do with this fun initially, and wanted to use us as her entertainment. I finally had to systematically back off and let her figure some things out, which she did and now she is much happier and more independent. I am so glad she has her own life and we have ours. It could be crazy making, otherwise. :)
Glad your biopsy turn out well, Norm!
Great news on the biopsy Norm! I would add that pets are something else that can tie you down in retirement especially in terms of travel. Pet sitters and kennels work for shorter trips but we would love to spend a month or two in Portugal but don’t because of our dog. We wouldn’t trade her for the world but it is one more thing that can impact your retirement plans.
I agree. Its difficult to find good and reliable petsitting service, not to mention they can be expensive. But, like you said, pets are like extension of our children, i wouldnt trade them for the world.
Thanks for adding that we have heard many times how others can’t travel because of their pets yes definitely can impact your retirement plans Cheers 🍷🌺🙂🐶
That is exactly why I have not replaced my cat that passed away 3 years ago. I would not put her in a kennel and having someone come to the house was very expensive where I lived. Perhaps when I no longer can travel, I will adopt a senior cat but until then this is a no pet household.
Yes my dog is senior now and I feel very restricted about what traveling I can do. Thankfully I have a good friend who is available to housesit for me when I travel, but I feel guilty using her too often.
When he goes it will be so sad, but I am determined not to replace him until much later in life. Unless I decide I want to start my own dog rescue 🤣🤣😜
Shouldn’t have dogs if you feel like that. My “girls” provide so much more for me than I do for them. No one forces you to have pets.
Excellent advice! This is day 37 of my retirement and I am so happy that I finally got over the fear of leaving at 59. So happy to hear the positive medical results for Norm. Enjoy your next trip! Joyce🌻
Congratulations 🥳 Joyce on your retirement 🥂 we are so glad you did it , thanks we are so happy about Norms results have a wonderful weekend Cheers 🍷🌺🙂🍺
Oh gosh, have fun! I was in a trance for a few months.... I have only been retired 9 months and still tell myself how wonderful that I don't have to go to work today!
I'm hoping in Jan 2024 to say this!
Thank you for touching on these difficult topics. My mom always said "put me in a nursing home and go live your life!". That never came to pass since she died suddenly, but I was so grateful to know she didn't expect me (an only child) to take care of her.
Sorry to hear about your mum Lauren have a wonderful weekend Cheers 🍷🙂🌺
Hah my Mum is the opposite! She was a nurse in retirement homes and keeps telling me to bring a gun over when I visit cause she in no way wants to go into a nursing home 😜 She doesn’t believe me when I tell her I don’t have a gun anyway! Only child as well and I do feel the burden beginning to creep in - especially since I live abroad from her 🤷♀️
We only had 1 child. The daycare we used was near Grandmas house. We only allowed Grandma to care for him on Wednesdays. She had the option of picking him up from daycare. She wanted to care for him more but we said no. Wanted her to enjoy her time with him. Current situation now, he is 21. Stays with Grandma on occasion. Nice to see they have maintained their relationship. God bless all
Thank you very much for this. I needed to hear it as I'm 71 and have basically fallen into putting my travel goals on hold to care for my 95-year-old father and before that for my mother. I also have all my assets tied up in my house, so I'm seriously considering now doing like you did and selling up and renting so I have money to travel -- and to arrange help for my father for the month I'll be away. No, he never asked me either.
Not every adult child spends the money they save on childcare on large tvs and other luxuries. I don’t have grandchildren but I know there are many single parents struggling to put food on the table and keep a roof over their head and need the help of the grandparents. It is tragic for the grandparents and may be temporary but I think it is important to put a caveat on some of your advice. Not everyone is able to get subsidized childcare if they can’t afford it. The statistics regarding the working poor are staggering in both Canada and the US.
This is one of your best videos!
As one who lost both my parents in my 20’s, I must say: God bless those who have retired who still have parents and God bless those who have children that have retired.
“60-67 are the golden years”. Why the cut off at 67 and not 70?
Perhaps as Norm is 67 LOL 😂thanks for watching have a great weekend Cheers 🍷🌺🍺
I watch my mother, two uncles, and three aunts age over the decades. I have the same conclusion about turning 75. It seems to be a general watershed. Before that they didn’t look or act like seniors. They loved traveling, friends get-together, cooking. After 75, they were still healthy but the desire to travel greatly diminished. They began to look older and develop more health and mobility issues. One aunt passed away at 92. The others are in their late to mid 80’s. To be honest, people who retire at 65/68, there’s not much time to truly be active even if they live passed 75/78. There are always exceptions to the rules but why bet on exception?
Such a great advice about caring for elderly parents - my mom is 73 and she is caring for her own mother who is 93 - my mom has been stuck for the past 2 years, and in the past year or so it has become harder and harder as my grandma is getting deeper into dementia and she pees/poops on herself etc... but my mom's sister doesn't want to put grandma in a "home" b/ of what will the neighbors say and also b/ she would rather spend the money rather than pay half of grandma's fees.
My mom is at the end of her wits, she aged in the last year a lot, and the doctors told her she can't lift grandma anymore as my mom needs a couple surgeries... anyhow, mom also missed all our kids' graduations last year, etc etc...
Stuck and depressed and physically hurting while grandma would do better in a home with more specialized care (and they have the means to pay for it).
Is mom’s sister helping out? Mom has to get some boundaries…
Your Mom has to say enough to her sister. If her sister is worried about image with the neighbors (which is a stupid self-centered reason) then she should look after her full time. BTW the neighbors will understand and if they are stupid enough to complain to your mother or her sister then their response should be " Well then you look after her then" and walk away.
I love it when people have their own opinions but they don’t do anything to help. I wouldn’t worry about your sister I would do whatever I wanted to do it’s too bad unless your sister is helping 50% of the time and even then it’s still your 50% time that you have a decision about so no thank you
Fear of getting married Norm..hilarious...just changing bosses lol😊
Great advice as usual, I will provide one comment though, if you don’t have a sibling living nearby your parent or don’t have any siblings living, the number one concern is protecting your most likely now single parent, and by protect I mean from people who want to scam or take advantage of them, while I had arrangements for snow, grass, appointment drives, groceries, my mom was burning through an enormous amount of cash, i spoke to her daily, there was a familiar person offering to take her to a lawyer appointment, the house cleaners boyfriend was showing up, if you can imagine. Yes please kids look after your own kids but be very cautious with your parent.
Great news about your biopsy , Norm and happy 48 years together to both of you. I worked in healthcare and I’d had enough. One day my daughter asked me if I would do the daycare when she and her husband had kids. I said that I’d love to. It seemed that she was
kidding but thought it would be so great if I did. I talked it over with my husband and I retired at 58 and looked after 2 grandsons. They were busy days but I don’t want to trade them. I was also able to support our daughter during a long illness.
I thought we might not be able to travel because I took a pension that was 30% less by me retiring early. But we travel and have enough money for what we want to do and we have our health at 73 and 77.
It’s an individual decision whether you help with grandchildren or help with parents. It’s whatever you would like to do. I have so many fantastic memories with the boys who are now 18 and 16 and living in another city.
So glad to hear of your negative biopsy Norm. ❤You hit the nail on the head with the topics in this video. My 89 year old mom is in assisted living. I do use Amazon to deliver personal items to her apartment such as toiletries and it has been so convenient and really a Godsend. I do accompany her to Dr/dentist appointments and visit weekly. I’m the only child near her as my sibling is out of state and has a demanding job. My husband and I have taken short trips not too far away as I’m always on edge that something will happen to her like a hospitalization or worse where I need to rush back to her side. She is wonderful and not demanding of me. But there comes a point where an aging parent needs an advocate and to be watched over. A trip out of the country at this point makes me too nervous. Hopefully down the road. Have a great weekend. 😊
Great news on the biopsy Norm ! Daycare is easy. You know when , for how long and how much. We split the cost with our step-daughter. Our 94 year old mother is a different case. We knew she would need our help , we just didn't know when, so at 91 , she became immobile and started having cognitive problems. ( 40 percent of people over 90 have some form of dementia.) Long-term care is public /private in Ontario so we applied immediately. So fortunate to sell the house in the salad days of 2021 and our mum split her time between my sister and I. Eventually, she became completely immobile and she went to a private facility at $11k a month. After 2 years ( huge waiting list) she managed to secure a room in the public /private facility at about $3.5k a month and her treatment has been exemplary. Great topic. Don't think this rambling is unusual. Sometimes I think people have no choice but to look after their loved one.
Thank you and thanks for sharing have a wonderful weekend Cheers 🍷🙂🌺
This was so spot-on, excellent content! I passed away unexpectedly last year (obviously successfully resusitated), and it made us realize TIME is the most precious commodity of them all. We, none of us, knows how many days we ultimately get on this earth. So, we need to protect and use that precious commodity with great care. My husband and I retired 7 days ago, and already marvel that we waited so long to do so. A week in, and we highly recommend retirement! 😊
Good news on your results Norm. When my husband and I started having a family my in-laws who we’re retired at the time set down their rules about babysitting the grand kids. They would help only if really needed and it was a definite no to daycare as they loved to travel. At the time I thought it was selfish on their parts but now that I’m in my 60’s and retired I truly understand their wishes. We do get wiser as we age.
You guys are so smart. We no longer provide free babysitting for our precious grandchildren because our son-in-law announced that all of the holidays would be spent with his mother who lives in another state in the U.S. We did not protest but at first, we were devastated. However, we now feel that they actually did us a great favor because in our grief, we have discovered bucket lists that we never thought of before. I wish we would have found your channel sooner. So glad about your good biopsy report, Norm. Take care!
Sorry to hear about the outcome of your free babysitting.
I’m glad to hear your biopsy came back negative. I’m still working and manage PSWs who provide personal care to seniors in the community. You are right in saying there is a lot of services for seniors to help them remain in their homes safely. Unfortunately, not all adult children know what is available. You mentioned a few like Home Help (cleaning) which is subsidized by the government, bathing assistance, Caregiver Recharge which is a free service for the families who are eligible, home maintenance and repair for a reasonable cost. I see a lot of adult children exhausted taking care of their parents and ruining their own health. There are also numerous companies that provide services for a price per hour.
This difficult topic was handled graciously, especially the first two items.
Very relevant points and often the elephant in the room: No-one wants to talk about these sensitive issues. I lived too far away for my parents to help with the kids. My mother in law said she wasn't available to be a full time babysitter. I was care giver for my parents as they moved closer to us so I could be there for them. They were part of a large community so I did have assistance when needed. My children live in the southern hemisphere and I in the northern. Not much use to them as babysitter either - yet we all cope and live full lives. My husband and I are in a position to take care of ourselves as we have put things in place to make life simple. Health, one can do a lot to keep up a good health though surprises are always just around the corner. Keep fit, eat healthy and avoid stresses. The rest is out of your hands. And last but not least: A phrase from the 1933 inaugural address of Franklin D. Roosevelt: There's nothing to fear but fear itself! I read a great wee book some yers back: Feel the fear and do it anyway. It took you through a process to identify the worst possible scenario - which meant: You already knew how bad something could end up being..so nothing worse could happen, in fact it would generally always be a less fearsome and less scary outcome. Anyway, that's my ramble for the week. Greetings from a sunny Weymouth, UK! 🇳🇱🙋♀🇳🇿🌷 😎 🍷
Good morning ☕️have a wonderful road trip in the Uk 🇬🇧 Anita Cheers 🇨🇦🍷🇾🇪🙂🇬🇧
Family is to be cherished. It is an honor to serve them - not a robber of time.
Norm and Tina, I am in my early 40s and I have a fear of the unknown too and as an immigrant I get much joy watching you and so much hope. Please keep sharing, you have no idea what a lifeline this is to many of us. I love you guys and wish you great health and long happy life together. xoxo
Tina and Norm, super touchy subject regarding looking after parents! I’m in that boat, they say they never asked but also they never say go live your life. Also suggestions of nursing, very expensive, deliveries etc are all well and good but at 92 my parent doesn’t even answer the phone or the door so honestly not accessible. Siblings don’t really get it being 65 and they younger that my retirement is spent looking after her. Being European obligations of looking after your parents is real and may I say very unappreciated. It becomes expected.
Thanks for sharing we are sure it must be very difficult Connie have a wonderful weekend Cheers 🍷🌺🙂🍺
Hi here from USA-56 years old and husband to retire 2024- he’s a little older and I will follow him in retirement. Debt free, young for retirement. It’s going to be a balancing act as our first grandchild is coming and we want to help but not sacrifice our time. Parents are older and both doing well but there may come a time when more one on one care will be needed. We are having honest conversations with the siblings to share the time with our parents as needed. We just lost our 19 year old Bichon Maxx- no more animals- we loved him lots but animals can be expensive and take up your time. Looking forward to having a great retirement life.
What a lovely couple. They are a pleasure to listen and learn from.
Our parents also had to move out after high school, but we had the option of college or work full time-after college no help I had saved $500 to start, but that was it, and it all worked out. I worked 3 jobs after a college degree and around 93 hrs. 7 days per wk. and went to laundry matt-but guess what that was a 3-year span, then life got better-you learn to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Husbands dad died and his mom later on a nursing home for 10 years, my parents both died pretty quickly-but we never asked to put life on hold. The nursing home mother-in-law was a lot of paperwork, but the care was all done through the nursing home, which was her wish that she told us early on. I would not want or expect my child to come back and care for us. I also do not want to do daycare bc you are essentially raising the kids. If you are going to have kids you have to ask if you can afford daycare or care if you work outside the home and not strap the grandparents unless they are like, yes, we want to do this full time. Grand parenthood is not for raising and training them up so to speak, this is the parent's role. Grandparenthood is to spoil the grandchild unlike your own child that is the good part of grand parenthood
The challenge is navigating the healthcare system when medical attention is needed ie: referrals, bloodwork, imaging, ECGs, etc.
Elderly people need advocates to ensure they receive the care they need
Ie: medical histories, medication reviews & updated medication lists to name but a few 🙏💙
Well done you two! That was brave of you and I agree with everything you said in this episode. We have managed to navigate all 3 of these things and it has not always been easy. However , as you say, we have worked really hard for our retirement and have always been there for our kids - we felt we deserved to enjoy our "GoGo" years and we have done that. We also drew the line at being a daycare service and it was a little bumpy at times, but we stuck to our guns and I am glad we did. The kids figured out perfectly good alternatives and probably would not have done that if we had caved in every time. Thanks for having the courage to do there.
Glad your biopsy results were negative, Norm. You spoke to taking care of elderly parents but some of us retirees are parents of adult disabled children who also require a lot of our time and care.
I believed that we gain merits for every good deed we do and taking care of parents is an example. I also believed that what you do to the elderly will somehow bring back good karma ...
Norm is a Heavy Metal Rocker! That is why we love him! Lol
Led Zepplin - I approve!!! And Tina approves too - ahhhh life is good!!!
Unpaid daycare - yes. BUT the best memories of my childhood are spent with my grandparents . I would not trade my time spent with them for anything. Even decades later the memories and wisdom I gained from both of them has helped me make sense of things in this lifetime.
Yes some parents would take undue advantage of the grandparents availability, but I am really greatful that my grandparents made the extra time for me as a child and teenager without an obvious complaint when some may have been deserved.
Thankyou for highlighting these 3 important points! I can relate to all of them. I set boundaries as a grandparent and thankfully my kids have not ‘used’ us for daycare! We enjoy the grandkids on our ‘terms’. My brother has taken in his parents in law into his home recently to care for them both and he is 70!! I’m so sad that his retirement now involves a huge burden caring for them.
And as for fear, for me it’s the fear of what others think if we want to travel quite a bit and they can’t afford too. I feel guilty and it’s holding me back and yet we are in our 60’s and I know now is our best time! You were spot on with this topic today! Thankyou both.
Don’t feel guilty about traveling do it
first thing I thought was scammers robbing your money and then major health problems but yes time is an issue too
our parents not with us now so thats not a problem for us
*full view😎Au👍thumbs up💯*
This is your best video ever. I just enrolled my elderly mother and disabled sisters in Meals on Wheels. I cooked them meals for a while but it felt like a job. The only down side is the expense. There is a waiting list for subsidies so I cover part of the cost. I am careful to set boundaries because Mom is a fanatic about cleanliness and is a bit of a manipulator. She complains about dust, twigs in the yard, and the like but I don’t take the bait. Some of my other siblings fall for this and just today one of them dusted her walls - the WALLS!
Lovely advice, I think. And valuable too. I want to add though, that it is so difficult to set aside concern for elderly parents in favour of retirement travel or other priorities. My parents are 95 and 93. I’m sure they don’t want to impinge on our ‘golden years’, but it’s obvious to me that they need my support, and I simply can’t look the other way. Even timely phone calls can make a difference. Finding the right balance is sometimes not easy.
Happy to hear about Norms good health results! Phew!
Hi Norm and Tina, I’m so happy Norm is well! Wishing you wonderful health and a great winter vacation! So funny comments, enjoy the video very much. Wishing you stay well!
Thanks so much
So happy to hear about negative results Norm. Yes. I think the #1 thing that can rob anyone of their retirement is health issues.
Thank you and we totally agree Health is probably more important than money 🤔Cheers 🍷🌺🙂
Very glad to hear test results were negative! Tina you hair is looking so good today! Good advice about watching the grandkids. I have a friend who is a free babysitter everyday and drives over a 100 miles a day to take care of 3 grandkids...it's costing her money and time. Her daughters job cannot cover the cost of day care and I guess the Son in laws money covers other expenses. She has finally told them they need to get part time day care as her spouse has lost his health. She also has her mother with her at least 1 week out of the month! She said she feels to vibrant to lead this life but feels she doesn't have too many choices. She just turn 70. She's had no fun in retirement.
We looked after our grandchildren one day a week for my daughter and that was no bother. When we retired we went to live in Spain for 10 years sold up our house in the UK. We had a wonderful time until my husband got unwell and had bowel cancer we came back to the UK and my hubby died within six months. I now live with my son who isn’t married and I am 88 and still going strong. My son wouldn’t have it any other way.xx
Thanks for sharing Maureen we are sorry to hear about your husband, it’s sounds a great plan being with your son take care 🇬🇧🙂🇨🇦🌺
My mother was very independent and died in her home suddenly at age 88. She never lost her license to drive and got around pretty good considering she had COPD, diabetes and heart problems. At that time I worked a lot, but always wished I had more time so I could have been there for her more. I don't think she was unhappy in any way. She loved seeing her friends for lunch, or a movie, or going to pinochle or canasta and even bingo at the clubhouse in her neighborhood. Her other childeren and grandchildren visited often too. Every month for fun she took a seniors bus to the casino - she almost always came home richer. She had someone take care of the yard and a house cleaner twice a month. I have always had a little guilt that I wasn't there more, but she never asked me to be there so I can let that go now.
Sometimes that is hard Beverly to know what is right with the time you spend with your parents, your mom seemed happy which is good but when you work it’s hard to find that balance.
Sometimes when we all look back perhaps we could of changed things , but in reality what happened was reality take care 🍷🙂🌺
We fell into the looking after my parents trap. They lived 4 hours away, so it cost us in time and lots of money as we were usually there a couple of times a month. Towards the end, my Mother told me exactly what you said about her not asking us to do all of that for her. I think it was in anger as she had been very demanding of our time all along. I still felt morally obligated to do what I could for them. They passed, I did the huge job of Executor and now we’re both sick and so much poorer for our good deeds. We wouldn’t do it again. My sister did absolutely nothing and doesn’t appear harmed by it.
Same thing happened to me. Siblings ignored parents. My siblings are truly awful human beings, may parents were golden. We weren't financially rich but we were given everything else. I happily never want to see my evil and selfish siblings again. I am so glad for the gift of my parents, but my siblings robbed me.
Health is everything. One's focus should always be on staying healthy.
I'm surprised by the number of former coworkers of mine who are older than me & still working. Meanwhile, I've been retired for several years. To each their own. However, I've known more than a few people who were forced to retire due to health issues, or chose not to retire early & later regretted it, especially if health problems reared up shortly after they retired or they were widowed soon after retirement. I vowed to retire early if at all possible. It's a bit of a leap of faith even when you're financially prepared. And it takes you outside your comfort zone. But it's totally worth it to take the plunge. I have a lot less stress in my days now, plus the time & mental bandwidth to take better care of my health, reducing the risk of developing certain health issues. No regrets at all! Keep up the informative & thought provoking videos.
Congratulations, Norm, on your medical result. Nothing better than peace of mind with your health. Thank you both for having this honest conversation. It’s so hard putting one’s self first.
Well said (as usual). I think the biggest life change as we age is a dawning awareness that time remaining is less than time lived, and by corollary, how precious time is. In hindsight, I know it's ALWAYS been precious so I regret some work/life balance issues when I let work rule (gratefully, not too many but not none, either) but now that I'm retired I'm acutely aware how precious healthy days are. Carpe diem indeed!
I'm very happy to hear about your negative cancer result. I recently had a prostate cancer scare, but fortunately the result came came back negative.
Struggling with this caretaker role. At 22 I had a DS son. It’s hard and am trying to rethink our retirement with him. I’m determined to be happy.
We do wish you all the best Robin , yes we are sure that will take more planning to cope with his health issues hopefully all works out for you have a wonderful weekend Cheers 🍷🌺🙂
I'm not fully retired yet, I am still working part-time. I am always juggling my time between my older parents and my children. I live on my own so have some free time. I feel a sense of obligation to my parents for sure but don't really have the monies or energy level to help everyone, including myself. When I slack off in one area, I always feel like I'm being judged by other family members. It's hard to escape this yet I am finding time to do some little things for myself like learn to swim at the local pool or take up hobbies such as sewing or knitting garments. If it wasn't for those little things, I would be completely frazzled. Thanks, Norm and Tine for your insightful videos, it makes me feel like I have something to look forward to as I approach my 60s and think of how to enjoy my frugal retirement lifestyle. :)
So glad you enjoyed it have a wonderful weekend Cheers 🍷🌺🙂
We have been doing the retired nomad abroad thing for the past three years (both 61 now).
For the next two years, we will travel 6-7 months each year, then return to the U.S. to help with childcare while my daughter’s teaches and her husband gets through his last two years of medical school.
The other grandparents will help for the other few months both years. Full-time retirement travel after that.
Awww, so glad to hear you are not dealing with stupid cancer! Stay well you guys! Vacations and good living surely are keeping you healthy!! Such good advice always....
I’m so glad that your results came back negative. May God Bless you with many more years. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for giving me permission to think about myself and not my grown up children! I always felt guilty about wanting to travel and not being around my grandkids.. I feel better now. I thought that I was being selfish, but I’m tired. I raised my kids and now I want my time for me. Thanks for the great advice as always!
Pleased to hear about your medical result, Norm. This must have given you great peace of mind. I just want to say that some of the most rewarding time my husband and I spent was in looking after my elderly mum in our own home during her last years. It was a privilege to give back to her some of the time she sacrificed in raising me and my siblings during the 50’s and 60’s. My husband was just wonderful with her, and so we had some great times together even though her health was failing along with her memory. We were still able to go away occasionally as respite care was available for her. We do not regret one moment of this time with Mum and our children and grandchildren also have these happy memories.
So happy to hear about the negative biopsi result for Norm!
Norm you’re a brave man saying you feared marriage in front of your wife! I applaud and thank you for your honesty. Hopefully you will inspire others to be more authentic in choosing a retirement path.
Norm has a great sense of humour Neil , one of the reasons we got married have a great weekend Cheers 🍷🌺🙂🍺
Good News Norm....keep on rock'n the shirts.
Like the T-Shirt. Did you know that Led Zepplin is considered to be Vegan Music? Yup! It's Plant based. 😀
Great news Norm on your biopsy!!
Happy to hear about your positive results! I value every moment visiting with my elderly parents and our grown children and grandson but I know it would be exhausting to be caring for them daily.
What a lovely couple you are! I am 48 and becoming part of the "sandwich" generation of having aging parents while still raising young children. My youngest child is 3, so my husband and I will likely be working another 15 years to get her off to adult hood. Our parents are in their mid 70s and we see the slow health declines starting. I know that the next 15-20 years will be full of change, but I do so look forward to retirement and hopefully good health as long as possible. Thank you for the inspiration! I look forward to more videos.
Could not agree with you more....I have seen so many of my former coworkers become live-in full time baby sitters the minute they retire. I am on the other end of the spectrum I will be 79 this year. I still travel, and have a single family home. My family helps out if I ask, but I rarely ask as I prefer to do almost everything myself. It keeps me fit and active. If I get to the point where I can't take care of myself, I will look into outside options and fortunately I have savings to cover most expenses.
As for being scared...yes we all feel that. I worked on a retirement budget for 3 years before I retired because I too feared I would not have enough income. Guess what...I had more than enough so all that worry was a waste of my time. Wish I could have retired earlier but that was not an option for me. Don't wait if you can retire early do it.
Thanks for sharing we too spend way too much time planning the money side not realizing we would have more than enough for a good retirement. Have a great weekend Cheers 🍷🌺🙂
Such a good video. We are on the cusp of being grandparents, have a grown disabled child (partially independent) and elderly parents. The timing on this is great. Thank you for your candor.
Yay for good results for Norm!!!
Most-interesting vlog. #1: You are dead-right about not becoming daycare.
#2 : Well, a daily Amazon parcel would be the last thing most old parents want; it would sadden them.
In the last three years of my Mother's life at the old folk's lodge, as the only-child I drove 40 miles virtually every day to visit her and she appreciated it. #3 : that was a big confession, Norm, "the fear of marriage"!
Glad you enjoyed it guess the fear of retirement or getting married are both the fear of the unknown LOL 😂😂Cheers 🍷🙂🌺🍺
So glad about your nose! I wrote a long response, but it would not show up, so... maybe someone was telling me something, lol. I love this video. I want to say that most elderly do not want anyone to bother them, and sometimes will need to be shown these things that are available, and perhaps have their tv taken away so they can't watch the 24 hour news, lol. When people get dementia or disabled, the nursing homes also are good at care with the family having all the stress, and it does get stressful ! There should be no shame in having that care for them. Some elderly get very violent, mean and are incontinent, and by getting them set up with a nursing home, you are caring for them. I did talk a lot again, lol, love to you both!
Good points and one other I would add is financially supporting adult children as well.
We're seeing increasing numbers of people here getting to retirement/pension age and I suspect a lot of it is due to the bank of mum and dad.
One thing I would also add is to make sure that you have done your sums properly before retirement as the things such as help/care etc etc can be very expensive.
All good to go for it when you're 60-67 but I can't think of much worse than to get to a time when you can't work or are infirm and you don't have enough money to be able to make choices in your life.
I truly enjoy your videos so I say this with gentleness. Your post entitled "3 Things that could ROB you of your retirement seems a bit harsh to me. I agree, WE should decide what amount of care we want to do for our grandchildren and set boundaries, but not all adult children are looking to "suck all the time out of you", to "save money on daycare to buy an extra large tv. " I will set boundaries but if I can help make it a little easier for my adult children, I look forward to potentially helping my grandkids in this way. Secondly, I feel you have simplified the caregiving aspect of elderly parents. I'm not suggesting that one has to take care of parents full time if other options are available. But having been through it with my father until last year, I can say with great certainty that the process of moving to a retirement home and then long term care (and especially with dementia) is an involved process that requires an advocate for your parent. My Dad ended up in the hospital (Woodstock Hospital!) caught between a retirement home and not having a space yet in a long term care home. He was 'caught' there for 5 months. Add in dementia/power of attorney and the journey is more involved than your suggesting. Furthermore, while it was, at times, quite time consuming and emotional, I never once didn't want to be there. It was an honour to walk beside my Dad and care for him as he once cared for me (I realize that not everyone is so lucky). While we may have worked for our retirement and earned it, I'm pretty sure that friends and family have helped us along the way (including our parents raising us). Taking the perspective that our families (children, grandchildren and aging parents) "suck the time out of us" and potentially rob us of our retirement just seems a bit harsh when those are two things that I really wanted to participate in as I grew older. Again, just my perspective. Thanks for all you do!
It is a hard thing to discuss between families. Thanks for starting the conversation
More great advice. I take what you say seriously. My job pays well but am not excited by what they are asking me to do. After 40 years in engineering, time to move on. Seriously considering retiring this time next year. Want to go travel while I'm still able. Plan to walk the entire 100 mile Cotswolds Way, see more of the UK, France and Portugal.
BTW got up at 4 AM to watch the Coronation of King Charles III. Well done to his Majesty and Queen. God Save the King!
We wish you all the best for your retirement have a great weekend Cheers 🍷🌺🙂
Lovely news Norm regarding your nose :) These worries put our lives on hold and its such a relief when you get good news x My father in law has dementia and we are the only local family, so after work my wife goes most nights for an hour and i cook the dinner, i also do odd jobs and do the grass cuts, we will continue to see them when we retire but we do have to also enjoy retirement and keep healthy. Yeah we dont want to become full time child or adult carers, unless of course we need to care for each other. PS I went on one of my customers Christmas parties in December and after the meal I was on my own and rather than go back to hotel, I saw that "The Sweet" were playing in centre so I managed to get a ticket, and buy a T-shirt :) I loved it. Sadly there is only one surviving member but they sound just like the Sweet of the 70s haha! brilliant x
So glad the news was great. So true in what you are saying ,especially in regards to grandkids.We know exactly what you are saying and we are there for our kids and grandkids but my wife retired from teaching and looking after kids. Our time now.
Yay on the biopsy results! What a sense of relief you must both be feeling. Very very happy for you.
I was a younger granny. I spent as much time with them as possible when they were younger, but never daycare. I was still working, so I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Now at 62, newly retired, my grandkids are teenagers.
My siblings back in Ireland look after my 90 yr old father. And unfortunately it IS him asking. There is home help stopping in, but I hate to see my brothers spend their well earned retirement years doing the daily care.
I would add health issues. We all hope for good health, but what about cancer or other diseases. I am currently dealing with potential small bowel cancer. I just had my surgery two weeks ago. Depending on the pathology or potential spread, my retirement plans might be very different now. Regarding spending time with an ailing parent, I think it is important to distinguish between being there for them during your entire retirement and being there for them during their last few weeks/months. No one should have to die alone, and if we know our parent is about to die, we should try and be there for them. As someone with no wife or kids, I don't want to die alone, but I might have to. I surely wouldn't put my mother through that.
Totally understand Carol we were the same with our parents back in the UK 🇬🇧. We were also still working like you when our Grandson came along have a wonderful weekend Cheers 🍷🌺🙂
I am so glad you mentioned our parents Tina and Norm ! Now I lost my mom in 2021 at a age of 96 ! I have felt such guilt not being able to look after her while I live here in Vancouver while she was in The Netherlands! Due to health reasons I could not see her in the last 3 years of her life ! And it’s true, you must not feel that guilt ! She was in a nursing home well looked after but it still today It’s hunts me not to have been there for her . PS Norm so happy your biopsy came back negative! 👍
Shameful
@@ca9777 what do you know about my life ! I could give you a good explanation but will not go there ! Shameful
So glad it's good news regarding your biopsy! We retired at 66 and 65, then retired to Ontario from the UK on a PGP sponsor program (where my son is our sponsor) we are very luck that we were able to buy a house outright and have enough money and pensions (I took note from one of your videos re TFSA and also investments, not forgetting the one about your trailer and keeping the critters at bay!) all your videos have something that helps people in their senior years! Thank you so much for taking the time to make them, they are so helpful. Happy travels to you both.
So happy Norm that your biopsy came out negative!! Thank you for sharing this difficult conversation but the points made are so true.
Happy weekend Tina & Norm 🏴 ☕️ 🫖 🏴 🇨🇦
You too Rachel Cheers 🇨🇦🍷🏴🙂
Excellent share about you medical results. 🎉 As a cancer survivor, peace of mind is worth gazillions!
I am in my 12th month of retirement from teaching. It has been a terribly bumpy ride! I had no clue it’d be this way. One of the biggest bumps was grands and daycare. I was glad to help, but I have had to pull back for self-preservation. I turned 60 in November, and you just saying 60-67 are key years, I was shocked. I thought I’d help with the kids for five more years (the baby is 10mo), but now I’m reconsidering. Thank you for your great advice!
Firstly, congratulations on your biopsy results. That must ease your mind.
Seconds, I’m glad that you address the child care for grandchildren and the care of your elderly parents. Now you need to address caring for your own children that are disabled, which is where I’m at yes yes I know I’m going to have to put her into a group home soon so I can free up my sixties. I don’t have any grandchildren as I just have my one daughter that’s disabled and but I do have an elderly mother and she’s an assistant living although I visit I don’t do the care of her.
Pets or another obligation as well. Somebody mentioned I have two cats, but they’re getting to be elderly after them no more pets.
So happy to hear about the biopsy results. Cheers!
Howdy Norm, Tina,
Delicate topics, Very well put.
Appreciate the insights.
It is very easy to do, sliding in to help with grandkids. Then a little bit more, bit more...
~ Ben, from Vancouver ISLAND
Hmm … before you know it Ben things have changed , we are enjoying Vancouver Island weather this weekend it’s wonderful Cheers 🍷🌺🙂🍺
I'm so glad your tests were clear ❤ . And congratulations for 48 years together. The content of this vlog I can 100% relate to and are things I have also struggled with over the last few years. I was widowed 8 years ago so all my decisions have been made alone, which is very difficult. It helps me to listen to you as your views are very similar to my own. Thank you x
Congratulations and keep well. Difficult topics for sure. It's hard to find a balance.between...life with purpose, love of family and , living your life..something I struggle with every day 😮
HAPPY to hear you biopsy was clear. CONGRATULATIONS!! Add to that list.....divorce at any point in your life...Many young people could not work without their parents support. Are you aware that daycare costs up to $12,00-$1,500 PER CHILD a month? Most people can in no way afford that unless they are a lawyer, doctor etc. In the US Meals on Wheels is ONLY available IF you are a single senior in the home that can no longer drive. OR after a surgery. Very tight rules here in the US.
Yes we are aware of daycare costs Donna , but should that become the Grandparents problem 🤔to solve , there is daycare before and after school , when our children were young Tina was a stay at home mom to look after them and only went back to work when they were in school Cheers 🇺🇸🍷🇨🇦 🙂
Thought provoking topics. Another big trap I see happening in my friends’ retired lives is “helping out” when their children’s marriages fall apart. Court cases, custody battles, violent estranged partners, grandchildren at risk of abuse all take a huge financial/emotional toll on the peaceful retirement years. So sad to see that they are robbed of a tranquil happy retirement. Always a drama instead.
Aging parents...my darling Mum spent the last 11 years of her life in a retirement home close to me. I felt blessed to be her main support and I knew that her life was enriched by my loving support. But I’ve suffered mentally once she died and my siblings all turned on my husband and I and were so mean to us. The Will was split equally 4 ways. I didn’t expect the malice ..perhaps they felt guilty of their neglect...and yes, they are now desperate for the close loving relationship we once shared, but I’m too wounded to really let them back into my heart.
So yes escaping to travel with your long term partner who you still love and have history and chemistry with is priceless and so precious. You are wise to value and cherish it. Not too many couple are lucky enough to still be together in good health. Glad your biopsy was benign..phew! That was a worry.
Now onto the next adventure...
Fantastic news about your biopsy Norm! Tina Looks like your “RockNRoller” will continue to GoGo! There is nothing “ ordinary” about you both- thank you for the great retirement insight, i really appreciate it.
Bravely said! There's a lot of martyrs out there priding themselves on caring for everyone except themselves in retirement.
I looked after both my.parents until they passed away in 2022 and my dad last month whilst working abroad in Dubai, hardest thing to do juggling it with a high pressure job and sick parents, but no regrets my decision but has come with losing my job and postponing my own retirement now.
Love your message!!!! Right on the money and well put. I took in my mother to care for her. She is not completely depending (has her own money and mobility) but like most seniors, she eats junk food and easy carb if I didn’t cook. I have been making meals from scratch since we began living together.
Health is truly wealth!
Another great video - thanks. I was afraid of no longer earning money, so I'd take contract after contract (despite a gov. pension). When my parents passed I realized we all have a shelf life, so now I do contracts because I find the work interesting. We're moving to Portugal in October, in part thanks to your inspiring videos. Keep it up!