The story about your sister`s friend is absolutely shocking to me. Saying "yes" and meaning "hell no" is not beating around the bush (as you call it), that`s just the complete opposite. That lack of reliability would be considered offensive in Germany.
Yes, we would call that "lying". It´s weird how another culture can consider this being "friendly". How can be something friendly, that is practically a lie?
I wonder how that "weird woman" would have reacted if you actually would have gone over to her place later. As an American lady she is part of that "friendly lying" culture and would probably not expect you to come. Would she grin and bear it or send you right back home with another "friendly lie"?
@@maxkehm5080 I know!!! I (American, here) hate it when ANYONE does that! I agree. That's Lying, and I refuse to go that way to get out of an uncomfortable invitation. I'd just tell them, "No, thanks." Period. (Yes, I'm American, of German/French/English heritage! LOL!)
This "beating around the bush" is one of the biggest problems in the US for me. What happens when you can never openly criticise anything can be clearly seen in the US right now: things will never change and the anger builds and builds until it boils over. Sometimes people just need to be direct to get to the core of the problem. Saves lots of time and energy to be able to work on the problem rather than trying to decypher what exactly it is the other person might actually want to say.
I think they're being direct now in the US. But I don't think that is the fault of the American psyche. Black people have never been shy telling you what they think of white people.
I've lived in South Africa a long time and they have their own approach to "beating about the bush." (At least in the English speaking community) If you take your time you learn to read the more subtle approach to disapproval or rejection - when yes means no. When people move to Germany they are expected to learn that directness is not rude. When Germans move abroad they must also accept that directness can be rude and learn the different cultural approaches where they are rather than expecting their host countries to adapt to their ways. There isn't only one way of human communication.
Interesting take. I’m from the UK and my experience in Germany, I found when I had issues the people I dealt with would rather send emails/ pass messages through other people rather than be direct themselves.
Exactly, it's also very annoying on reddit, for example, or even in online games. Everyone is obsessively slimy and hypocritical, in fact one can be as malevolent as one wants, as long as one is "smug", which counts as positive enough. It's absolutely disgusting. And everyone is pouncing on anyone who makes a rational criticism, like basically saying "this doesn't make sense" or "this could be better". Someone like that always gets flocked and talked down to, treated like a subhuman , and absolutepy every shid, no matter how bad gets excused and some buttkissing to go along with it. I don't get it, something is wrong with their schools, maybe.
My „Aha!“ moment after moving to Germany was the realization that when a German is criticizing you they see themselves as doing you a favor. Like when a German says something like, „You did that completely wrong!“ the intent is not to insult you but to help draw your attention to your faults so you can correct them in the future.
Most people who either grew up in a Jewish-American family, or has a Jewish mother-in-law, (can be said for Italian-Americans too), esp on the East Coast where rudeness prevails, is very familiar with the constant criticisms that are so forthcoming lolol. I'm convinced it's a traditional holdover from the Old Country. For Jews, it would be from Germany. For the people that grew up in regular white/Anglo families, the German honesty and directness/criticisms would probably indeed be a sensitivity-inducing shock. I feel like some of us would already be immune though, lmao.
Excactly. It's just among strangers, as we are here, you never know about the competence of the other person. Someone correcting you, still has the idea of "I know better than you", and this is something you could be insulted by. But there is no other hidden bad intention.
@Florian Wilke it is "habit" "lying" "blantantly" and "repeatedly" Good news, "acceptable" is correct. How about that: your English has been corrected by a direct American from New York ✌
@@mbuck5044 Hi American from New York, actually, it's "blatantly." And while we're at it: it's also "lying TO" each other as opposed to "lying at each other." Never mind "dont" ("don't") and "i" (I), we'll chuck these up to social media talk. 😉 Greets from a GerMerican from La. 😜 Addendum: Consider "chuck it up" as "Lou-siana" speak for "chalk it up." You know how we Southerners like to distort the language. Lol
Oh, americans can be very rude once you look behind the curtain of fake friendlyness. In my year as an exchange student at the high school I went to, they wanted me to be the kicker for their American Football Team, because I played real football in Germany. They were nice and friendly so I said yes. But as soon as I could not hit the handegg with the same precision I could a football (soccer ball, so people from the US don't get confused) they startet to get very rude and make fun of me beacause as a German i had to be great at it from birth... I never held an handegg before in my live and they do kick quiet differently from a football.
@@JJJT- Yeah, but I think that's highschool for you. It's the same in Germany. You can't take the actions of these brats a benchmark for adult behavior in both countries.
Things that are normal in the States but considered rude in Germany: 1. promising to meet up with someone just to ghost them later 2. interpret driving behaviour as a personal attack and beating up people (very rude) 3. being vocal about your discomfort of someone being to close behind you (with the hidden message of telling them that they look like pickpockets) ... its all about the perspective xD
@werwx wersc If someone is that close behind you in the States they (a) probably ARE a pickpocket or (b) you’re about to be molested. From Nalf’s vlog I now know there’s an option (c) they are German. In the USA (a) and (b) are much more likely...😜
Another one: engaging cashiers in this totally unneccessary smalltalk, not only a short exchange but an elongated chat and therefore causing others to stand in line even longer. You are wasting MY time!
@@rakischmidt7032 not only talking with the cashiers but this whole smal talk situation is quite terrible. Let me explain what I mean: Most of all waiters which have often enough extremly low wages and therefore rely on tips are chatty so they seem more sympathic to you. This is however often enough tactical and no real interests bound to it which makes it actually a rude interaction in the first place. Germans have often enough little chats with cashiers and waiters too but they do not pretend to be interested if they are not just for greater tips. Beside that the whole resturant scene in America is actually a rude concept. You are permanentely encouraged to leave in a subtile way as you are in the way for another guest. So you actually are not traded as persons but as a part of a machinery and nothing more. The same is how employees often are traded in America too and thats a shame. The moment you are not of any value anymore they try to replace you. And do not get me wrong here we have a similar situation in Germany in resturants too mostly for christmas and eastern there is a timelimit for each table because others allready wait to be able to have their turn. For example at my fathers resturant it was arround 1 hour to 90 minutes with only the last persons in line are allowed to stay as long as they wanted. Even this is rude behaviour somehow at least no one beating arround the bush in the first place and when people ordered their place on the telephone they would allready be informed about this because of the special situation of the holidays.
Well about part 2: When somebody is drifting around the roundabout at the front of my house at 1:00 am in the middle of the week, I kind of feel personally attacked. I'm from Austria by the way.
The biggest difference for me between Norway and the USA is the extreme aggressiveness of the police in the USA. I got arrested on the Canada-US border. I was working in Canada as a professor but had been invited to give a talk in Washington. I was driving a Canadian government vehicle with a big sign on the side saying "Canadian government". Anyway, I got to the border and rolled down the window and the officer asked: "Canadian?". I replied "No, Norwegian - eh actually, my passport is Danish!". The out of the car. Hands on the top of the car. Handcuffs. Getting interrogated for 2 hours. I had all the paperwork in order. No excuses when they let me go. I was appalled and shocked.
No doubt the cops in the US have been militarized and also have become inept and incompetent because of quota hiring….makes them dangerous because they aren’t capable of doing the job
KoldIce7 Yeah you look at people but you dont lock your eyes on them and carry on even after they look back at you. It makes people feel like you’re judging them especially when you’re an outsider
Yeah, I went to the US as an exchange student and people were friendly and invited me a lot. But as soon as I really wanted to follow up on some of these invitations I got crazy looks and they treated me as if I was weird for doing so. That was the moment I knew I could never live in a society like this. At least my experience was that most americans are superficial and fake in areas which are important to me. Why is it so hard for US Americans to be honest and real? Good Video as always, thanks Nalf 👍🏻
@@mb3391 Yeah, and I hate people beeing passive aggressive. If you got a problem with me just say it, so we can talk about it and maybe find a solution or get a misunderstanding out of the way.
Yeah, this is on of the contexts (I'm thinking of Feli's part of their collab) where Americans *are* superficial. And note how Nick's sister's friend was totally enthusiastic about hangin' out… or sounded like it, but *never* intended on actually hangin' out. Whereas in Germany, while you may get stood up, (and I'm guilty of this so much… for personal reasons), in the moment when someone agrees to meet or hang out or do something together, they (me included) *really* mean it. But then there's time passing between this statement of intent and the actual meet/hangout/do. And things can change in that time.
I am half-half. I suspect it just ends up being what subculture or individuals u end up with. Its wrong to say Americans are superficial, or that Germans are rude because of their directness. Both can simply be experienced as annoying -- what's annoying is likely our own relationship with ourselves.
I can guarantee you when, as a foreigner in a strange country, where no one is friendly and no one speaks to you, it is a light in a dark day when someone is friendly, regardless of the reason.
@@caciliawhy5195 Yes, it's nice to have friendly encounters, but having stragers commenting on your appearance every single day made me feel uncomfortable very very quickly
„Germans driving is so aggressive“ „In German Autobahn when you drive to slow they flash you with the lights“ „When you do that in America this will end up in road rage“ Now nalf tell me who is aggressive? 😂😂😂
Most aggressive drivers on German Autobahnen are foreigners or Merkel-guests. They often dont have license because they know they wont get charged after police and courts feat to be labelled racists by antipatriotic media...
I really fail to see how it is not rude to tell someone 'Oh yeah, we're totally going to do this.' and then not showing up. You can only do that if you're 100% sure the other person got the underlying information that's like 'Sorry pal, it's not gonna happen.' And of course also in Germany there is a fine line between beeing honest about things/telling facts and beeing rude. For example if a friend of mine gained a few pounds I'd never go and say 'Hey girl, you've gotten fat.' I'd just simply wouldn't touch that topic. But on the other hand the communication between guys/girls can be even more complicated than between Americans/Germans - can be a freakin' minefield sometimes...
she : "do you like my new dress?" his american answer : "absolutely fantastic!" his german answer : "maybe we can find something better ..." while the second answer may sound more rude at first, how rude is the first answer, sending her out to her lion friends who will tear her apart (behind her back) after seeing her in a terrible dress? but as this is also a male/female problem, none of the two answers would have been a good one, and either could have resulted in the same following events. maybe she didn't feel well with that dress anyway, using either answer to start questioning the honesty of his answer ("you don't mean that. you think i look fat" - "i didn't say that" - "but you thought it"), and now having an excuse to not go to the event and making him look bad/guilty. you simply can't win ... :-) :-(
My German sister-in-law did that though. She found out my pants size and her reaction was automatic, "Wow, you've really let yourself go." She also saw me holding my folded American flag and said, without hesitation, "Oh, are we having a flag-burning party?" So no, I don't appreciate German directness.
@@Anson_AKB As an American, remember that we would never say anything to hurt her feelings! We would NEVER say: "Absolutely fantastic!" We'd be more likely to say what you had the German guy saying, or something like, "You know what? I think you'd look better in another color." LOL! We will avoid the direct answer to THAT particular question, at all cost!
Being too direct isn’t rude to New Yorkers, we have no time for that and also have that reputation. The entire East Coast of the U.S. also drives aggressive, lol.
The "beating around the bush" is also something I experience with my British colleagues. So, if I need a quick response I ask them to give me a 'German answer' which usually means yes or no 😂
Yes, British people beat around the bush much more than we Americans do! Americans have heritage from Germany and Britain and many other cultures, so we're a blend.
I think the genuine honesty of being direct should be a characteristic that we should all strive towards as a society. It prevents passive aggressive and hostile behaviour, and creates a sense of trust in the community 🙌🏻
While it sounds lovely in theory, rest assured that there're still tons of passive-aggressive people in Germany as well 😬 But I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment!
The Dutch are considered even more direct. You should listen to Dutch minister of finance adressing an issue with Soutern Europe. The are not amused with this directness;)
Yeah Dutch are something different 😂 And way more direct. As a German you often get the feeling dutch people don't like germans but apparently it's just that Dutch people are way more direct 😂
@@MonotoniTV Yeah but a lot dutch people also don't overly love the germans because of history reasons. I mean, i'm a german and also don't really like them too much 😂
The difference in directness between Germans and Americans can cause really awkward situations. Americans may feel offended by German bluntness while Germans may consider the American's behavior as fake and even rude. If a German invited someone to their place and the other person (seemingly) agreed to come but would never show up, the German would be highly offended. But actually many cultures are less direct than Germans. Many Asian cultures try to avoid negations at all. So, for example if they asked someone who is considered old enough "Do you have children?", that person would probably not say "No" but rather something along the lines of "Not yet". A Japanese business partner of mine has developed the "maybe no" as middle way so that we Germans understand their "no" but they have still softened it with the "maybe" so not to be too rude. Dealing with these differences can be very frustrating but once you are aware you will develop ways to figure out the true meaning behind certain words and behaviors. Regarding the driving in Germany, I personally feel that it has become more agressive in recent years and there are differences throughout Germany. I rarely ever honk at others. If someone at a traffic light does not move when it has turned green I wait a little and usually they notice the green themselves. If I feel that they are too distracted, I may shortly tip my honk just to remind them to look up. This is just a "wake-up-call" and not intended to be agressive. I am surprised you did not mention the staring again. This is actually something I had never heard before you mentioned it. To be honest, I still do not quite know what you mean by it. Could this maybe be different throughout Germany? The other day I visited my parents who live in a dead-end in a rural area. As I entered the street one of the neighbors was at their gate and I stared at me and my car. That reminded me of you complaining about German staring. I guess he was just checking me out if I was a stranger. I then greeted him by nodding, he nodded back and stopped staring. Ever since I wonder if this was an example of the German staring 🤔😄
Actually I never had any issues with beeing direct in the US. I guess it depends on what kind of people you are around though. YOu think driving in germany is agressive? Have you ever been to france or italy? I literally had fiat pandas honk at me, pudh me and pass me with zero distance there because I was doing only 10 over the speedlimit. And as a rule when they pass you they hang out of the window, gesticulate at you and yell something like "affancula madonna! tu stupido pizza pasta maccaroni!"
4 года назад+1
True about the directness. I remember hearing from at least one American who, living in the US and *not* referencing experiencing another more direct (and more honest) culture, complained about this dishonesty, and wished for Americans to be more direct, more honest.
Honestly though, driving in France (especially Paris) is such a nightmare! Ever since I made it out of la Place de la Concorde alive, I felt like no matter what I might face in German traffic won't even begin to bother me.
In Frankreich kleben sie dir sogar auf einer komplett leeren Autobahn bei 120 km/h nur 10 meter hinterm Auto und nutzen sehr gerne die Lichthupe, um dich zu irgendeiner Aktion zu bewegen. In Deutschland habe ich noch nie eine Lichthupe von Leuten hinter mir erlebt. In Belgien gibt es zwar eine Geschwindigkeitsbegrenzung auf der Autobahn, aber die linke Spur wird zum Rasen benutzt. Als ich das erlebt habe, musste ich direkt an den Spruch "Du sollst nicht so belgen!" denken. Die Belgier die belgen über die Autobahn. Da dachte ich mir, das Verb "belgen" müsse von den Belgiern abgeleitet sein. Stimmt zwar wahrscheinlich nicht, aber es passt.
How rude... someone invites you somewhere and you answer "yeah cool why not lets figure out time " but you don't really want to hang out with that person so what you do is then talk behind his/her back telling others how weird that person is? And the fact that you do it too? ..... wow. Im stunned.
@Karolina Kubik I genuinely want to know, what do Germans do? You can’t say “I don’t like you so I don’t want go.” You can’t be busy or unavailable when the invitation isn’t specific or the person is willing to move the date to fit with your schedule. What do you say? That’s why we’ll give a nonspecific affirmative and never firm up the plans. I don’t do the talking behind people’s back thing, and that act doesn’t necessarily go along with these circumstances.
@@carolz5090 when something like this happens i kill off the conversation with a simple "no" and then change the topic, is that rude? if i don't want to spend time with that person i sure don't care about offending her/him also that person then knows that i don't want to be friends with him/her which is also good, i would think of it as more offensive to make a promise and then break it, a promise is a promise is a promise if you don't keep it you are the a-hole ;) isn't it the overall "what people think about me" BS that causes all of this ? there you have people thinking or hoping to be friends when there isn't a snowballs chance in hell for that, it's not nice either is it.
I am German and I hate people standing behind me in line and coming so close that they "tackle" me when gesturing with their friend. I am so tempted to turn around and say: do I know you? Do you want to cuddle? Am I in your way? Can you keep your distance please? I did it once only and the person was very startled and did not seem to know what I was talking about. So I can totally relate Nalf. Now with Corona, there was the opposite with some people literally jumping aside to keep their distance. Both ways, strange to me.
That's something that's changed over the years. Fatality rates were lower when I was a kid in the US than anywhere in Europe, but that was decades ago. Europe has made more and better changes since then which has brought their fatality rates down, traffic circles vs intersections being one of them.
@@drh3b The US has an extremely low population density compared to european countries like UK France in the room of Paris and Germany, Switzerland, Italy.
Nick youre (mostly) right like usual. As a german I completely agree with the driving and physical distance situations. I also think that the german society can be classified as pretty direct in comparison to other countries. Nevertheless, I think that there are also a lot of german people who like to avoid these kind of direct talks and rather try to come along well with each other. Me for example, I think its also pretty rude to criticise you the way they did after your first games - even for german standards.
"I think its also pretty rude to criticise you the way they did after your first games - even for german standards" Yes and no. Don't forget it was a sporting event. Emotions are usually much higher. Everything gets a little bit more exaggerated.
Dude, you always make me smile. I am a German living abroad and I totally get what you’re saying I caught myself the other day that I was beating around the bush when having an uncomfortable conversation 😅😂 I was like: damn i am loosing my directness👀 I love the way you tell the stories your editing is just totally my cup of tea! Man !!! You’re awesome
I'm confused. Who is more aggressive, the Germans that honk at each other or the Americans that beat each other up? Also I wonder whether that physical distancing thing is a Southern German rural thing. I'm from a northern German city and my natural desire to distance matches the one here in the US.
@@AnnaLee33 I'm from Western Germany (close to the Dutch border), and I'd say we don't have people breathing down our necks either, at least not on the regular. So there're definitely differences within Germany as well :)
@@BlissLovePeace which is another case of german sarcasm which can't really be written down. it sounds rude, but it's not really meant to. It's meant to tease sb in a joking way :)
I noticed that too. Meanwhile the manufacturer of automatic transmissions used in many cars around the world (like all Chrysler products) is ZF, a German company.
@Dave Moss today Germans arent nazis. Of course they bear responsibility for their anceators past actions but are in no way evil. And that's coming from Polish person.
@@charlievetta1385 German women don't, they have no emotions that's what is destroying my relationship, good in bed other than that they're controlling and bossy and can't show emotions and a good (at least American) healthy loving relationship needs tenderness not a SS officer!
@@m42037 im starting to see that this overly directness and communication without empathy creates one dimensional interactions that are very black and white without consideration of people around them and lack of awareness. Really narrow minded way of being with the world is 3d with plenty of grey.
@@charlievetta1385 Yes she is this way. We're in a LDR for almost 5 years now. When was there December 2019 till Jan 18th (right before the borders closed) Seems everytime i'm at her house I'm her child, a little boy most the time. On one hand she can be very loving, the other 60% she's a micromanging controlling woman. Hey bro (i could name a 1000 things) ever heard of a woman yell at you just to get out of bed to take a piss because she's a very light sleeper? I mean yell at you!! Mind you we only been together a couple days being apart so long! Her excuse is over worked. I can't go outside by myself to smoke a cigarette alone? Watches me eat and corrects me on how to cut my food, hold a fork in my left hand. Getting a little mustard on my finger is like eating like a pig. She says "i never seen someone like that, it's discusting. Idc about their fkn culture i'm a American i don't eat like a pig i eat normal! I'm 55 years old. I mean i could write all day. As i said she's hot in a skirt, nice body, blond hair but there's more! And i have anxiety disorder she can drive me insane at her place. Never agsin i go back to Berlin!!
I am from Hamburg, my wife is from Seattle. We went to Ikea at one point, up in Hamburg and she had a melt down after 3-4 people bumbed into her without apologizing. For me that would be a normal thing, right?! Happens all the time. But now, after living in the States for 9 years, I can see and feel the difference when I am visiting Home.
German directness: be carefull, when a German woman asks you if she looks fat in this dress, you are traped. There is no approprite answer, the only chance you have is to sneak silently out of the room pretending you haven't heard her
@@Serge0815 Möööp, a) sie weiß, dass du lügst. Wäre sie der Meinung, das Kleid würde sie nicht dick aussehen lassen, würde sie nicht fragen. b) irgend jemand anderes, spätestens die Mutter, würde ihr die Wahrheit sagen. In beiden Fällen hast du verloren
@@kilsestoffel3690 glaub du triffst dich einfach mit den falschen Frauen, solche Probleme hatte ich noch nie ehrlich gesagt. Vllt sich mal mit anständigen Frauen treffen und nicht mit den letzten Zicken.
@Kilse Stoffel SO FUNNY! As an American woman I would just follow you out of the room, demanding to know why you didn’t answer me. Then I would say that you never listen, that’s the reason we don’t communicate, and start to list other things you do that upset me. This then gives me the option to bring up fights from our past and open them back up as if no time had elapsed. Whereas...the American male would automatically tell me I look great, and may or may not even look at me before answering. I then wander away muttering to myself about what shoes to wear. See how much better? I know all this from experience.
I come from a prominently German part of the united states, complete with a German grandmother. Was taught when someone was beating around the bush they were basically calling you stupid. To this day I can't shake being blunt and to the point because to me it feels rude to be anything but. Needless to say, WHOO, that does not go over well in CA.
It is really complicated for us Germans to understand if an invitation or nice words of an American are really meant this way or not. It needs some time to understand cultural differences, especially what is „rude“ or not. This is different even within the North and the South (Bavaria). Once you have understood and got used to it, you will understand that friendly people are everywhere, even on the motorway or in a stadion or in a queue.
You are 100% right I’m married to a German man and I lived in Hamburg 3 years. At first I was put off by the directness as I’ve master the art of telling someone to f*c* off and have them feel good about it. I find the German directness refreshing and the US beating around the bush and sugar coating this off putting.
Im from Africa and dating a German, its quite difficult to handle the manner of talking here in Germany. I always get offended and question if the relationship will work
One of the greatest compliments I ever received from a woman was, she being in the moment still slightly irritated with me saying: "You are so infuriatingly direct at times. But on the other hand I always know where you really stand and that you mean what you say and I can rely on that."@@n.m6249
I met a couple of them in a tour group on a 3 week trip through Japan. They were mostly nice but often a bit too loud considering we were in the usually quiet Japan (especially after a couple of beers). And yeah, they don't beat around the bush but that was okay 99% of the time.
Or Spain for that matter?`When hiking the Laugavegur in Iceland, I was put in a dorm with a bunch of Spaniards. I am a little on the heavier side but I am totally capable of hiking 20+ km a day with 15 kg of gear on my back. In the morning, two ladies from the Spanish group (who were hiking with day packs while their suitcases (!!) were being driven from hut to hut where they were greeted with a ready cooked meal every night) confronted me: "Are you hiking the trail?" When I said yes, their answer was as follows: "But how? You are very fat!!" Not the only example of Spanish "directness"
In general the stores in the US are larger with more space before the cashpoints. In Germany you have to adapt to the space available. If you stand in front of the shopping cart you can manage the space in front of you and you have a good cart distance in the back.
I (from Luxembourg) am married to an American. The beating around the bush behavior drives me crazy. It does not only apply to strangers and friends but also to spouses apparently. We've been having that conversation a bunch of times and I just can't see how it is not rude to mislead, yes lie to people. I've come to appreciate a lot of things America (and Americans) have to offer. But this is something I won't get used to. There is a difference between telling people they suck at their job or their sport and misleading people about intentions. Because of this, Americans are considered to be extremely unreliable. At least in my professional field. There are even contingencies for dealing with the US of A, like projected delays or backup plans
In my view all mankind is located somewhere on a spectrum between honest and polite. Americans, the British, and the Norwegians are on the polite end and the Germans, Dutch and Swedish are on the honest end. You can't have it both apparently.
I lived in NJ for a couple of years. The team was international and we early schooled the US colleagues to be direct. Driving in NJ, similar to Germany. While I was in Nebraska for I while and I honked the horn to a driver who did not start at a green light after a felt eternity was considered rude. I considered it rude that the driver in front wasted my time and my gas for my car had to run idle.
@Nalf. You forget one detail. Italians can also be very passionate when discussing your reaction time at a traffic light. Happened to me in northern Italy. Rental car with a malfunctioning engine Start Stop automatic. Where the onboard system helpfully told me to start the engine manually with the ignition key. In a keyless car. (Facepalm) P.S. It was a German car made by a major German car brand.
Being direct IS polite. The goal of communication should be to convey information and to find solutions to problems, not to make one feel cozy. Wasting other people's time is rude, and It is condescending to assume others can't handle different opinions or rejection. Fluffy words that mean nothing is basically lying to make others feel more comfortable, and that is treating them like children.
Flashing the oncoming drivers if they are driving too fast is NOT meant as aggressive. It's a warning about a Blitzer or police ahead. (And it's actually illegal to do that because you are interfering with prosecution.)
@@peterkoller3761 if Im driving almost 140 when 130 is allowed and someone behind me flashes then who's the asshole? I sort of get it if I was going 80 but usually people flash when you're already at or slightly over the speed limit, in my experience.
As an American living in Germany since 2006 I had to get a German drivers license because my California license was not recognized in Germany. When I took my drivers test in Germany the tester said he seriously contemplated failing me because I had the right of way driving down the street and a car pulled out in front of me from a side street, looked like a confused tourist to me, so I slowed down and let him drive through. The tester said I should have never let him through because I had the right way and had there been someone behind me I could have caused a big accident. I was just trying to be considerate of the driver that had obviously made an error but that nearly cost me getting my license.
The British may not beat around the bush as much as Americans do but they are generally also very polite ands would never be as direct as Germans are. I will never forget my first experience of real German directness, I went on a weekend trip with a new friend. We shared a room, and after blow drying my hair in the morning i said something along the lines of “ I don’t know why I bother, it’s just going to frizz up again soon” she then responded, “I don’t know why you bother either” I was totally flabbergasted and felt really hurt. Later I realised that there was absolutely no malice, she was simply acknowledging the truth that my hair is frizzy and not likely to stay smooth all day in the damp weather.
I think there is some difference when in comes to being direct amongst Northeasterners like people in the NY Metro area vis-a-vis Westerners and Southerners. The sweet and proper style of non-New Yorkers are often seen as being too politically correct to be sincere. In other words, NY area people always wonder about the sincerity of people who cannot be honest and direct, and there is always a degree of mistrust for people who give extra value to being nice and proper because they tend to sacrifice sincerity and honesty. In that regard, the German directness is better understood and easily more welcomed amongst NY/NJ area residents. As a Filipino immigrant who has lived in the NY area for most of my life, this can be a problem when dealing with Filipinos on social media as we can easily be misconstrued for being rude rather than being honest and forthright... Keep on going with your vlogs. I never followed a youtuber based in Germany until I stumbled upon your videos. I think your perspective is an important and interesting one. I enjoy tagging along in this journey that you have taken.
As you have mentioned several time about "Americans" beating around the bush, I think that depends on what part of the country you are in. In Chicago, people are often direct and let their "yes" be yes and "no" be no. I think it comes from so many immigrant cultures trying co-exist that everyone is sensitive (possibly overly) about how someone else perceives what is said.
@Ericson578 do we ask how much people make? I don't think we do, there's still a huge "don't talk about money" culture in Germany, that's my impression at least
We noticed these things in Germany, also. On the flip side, many Germans felt very sorry for the clueless Americans and were quick to jump in and help us. It made visiting there very easy.
Hehehe great video! You should visit Norway and tell us how that is different. I feel a lot of the stuff you talk about between German and the US is very similar to me as a Norwegian. I have pissed of American friends and strangers so many times on my Nordic directness. I am sorry! I cannot help it. I feel like I am being super polite and nice by being honest! To me being honest is the pretty much the same as being polite, because there is nothing more rude IMHO than telling fat lies into people's faces. If you are a friend, you friend needs to know that you are telling the truth. If I say I love their cooking, then they need to know that I really did and it is not just some bullshit. I really cannot figure out how Americans can go through life with so much superficial stuff. I have come to terms with it over the years. But I found it very hard when I lived in the US. I eventually left, because I could not deal with it. I felt like nobody was ever truthful. It was always this fake gloss on everything. Nobody was open about how they truly felt about anything. Or at least it was very hard to tell when they where being truthful and when they where just dispensing with pleasantries. I have this terrible feeling that I may have overstayed at my American relatives because I could not properly read when their invitations was not entirely sincere. I have an American friend in Norway who on occasion blow up in my face. It honestly feels like walking on needles at times. I have no idea what will set him off. I have tried to get him to be more open an talk about stuff, so we don't get nasty surprises. I think he sorts of gets it but he kind of vents with frustration that he think us Norwegians think it is possible to talk about anything, but he doesn't think it is that easy. I guess we are all somewhat handicapped by our own culture. I try to do my best. But it goes against every bone in my body to tell a lie to say something pleasant. I always try to simply not saying anything about the matter if I know people are not going to like it or I try to sugarcoat my opinion as much as possible without actually changing it.
@Daniel Zhang That depends on the European. Europe isn't one culture. That is quite a lot of variation. I would say the blunt culture is Germanic, so you'll find it in Nordic countries, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria and likely Switzerland and parts of Belgium. On the British isles it is much more like America. In the UK or Ireland it is much more important to be polite in the American sense. Actually I would say much more so. Southern Europe is a bit different. I don't know exactly how to categorize them, but they are not blunt the way Germanic people are. Then you got a lot of the Eastern Europeans who are blunt in a way that I think us Germanic people would frequently find rude. We try to sugarcoat. But there seems to be no sugarcoating in a lot of Eastern European countries. Americans actually remind me a lot of Southern Europeans. In America people are very friendly and warm to each other but they can get really angry and nasty with each other too, screaming insults. That is a bit like Southern Europe too. In Nordic countries in particular getting visibly angry and screaming insults is not tolerated. I have had to try to educate American colleagues on this. Some seem to think you get taken more serious if you show anger. I have to explain that in Norway you have lost the entire discussion if you display anger and get mean. Actually I had to lecture my French boss in Norway on this once. He lost his temper, and I had to scold him for not keeping his composure.
Honestly, we are direct and I like it that way, but we also call rude interactions what they are: "rude" and not "being direct". Telling you that you need to do better because you're American is just plain rude. However, I feel like saying that you'd meet up with somebody with no intention of doing so soulds like the definition of outright deliberate lying to me and I'd most definitely also categerorize it as rude. For Germans, it's probably worse because it's also deceptive, while telling you that you need to do better is overtly offensive, but at least upfront and you know where you stand.
You clearly were never part of competitve sports teams.It is completely normal that your extended team including people identifying with your team tell you right away how they perceived your performance and they are ususally right.
Es klingelt. Ein junger Mann steht draußen. "Guten Tag Herr Fischer, darf ich mit ihrer Tochter fischen gehen"? " Ich heiße nicht Fischer, junger Mann, ich heiße Vogel " ! " Ach ja - ich wollte nicht so direkt sein " !
I wanted to write something like “yeah, I don't like aggressive driving either“, but then remembered that I honk right away when someone seems to have missed that the light turned green. 😅 Not aggressively, just a notification, because the traffic needs to continue and the later you start driving the less cars will be able to cross and the more cars will have to wait for the next green light.
@Frank Sennholz I love the way you have written the horn sounds 😂 also it definitly makes a difference. I feel really bad when I do an alert but I accidentally make it sound more like I'm annoyed by not being crisp enough with it! I always wish I could apologise haha
Oh well, but is it really so important? I mean, it's a matter of seconds, not hours. My car is very slow and I'm not a good driver. I hate it when people honk at me at the traffic lights because it makes me nervous, which makes it very probable that I'll stall the engine. Then you lose even more time because I have to start the car again.
Sorry to hear about your calf flare up. Gute Besserung. Your points are well put. I have lived so long in Germany that ... 1. When I go back to the States, people think that I am rude for arguing about political policy. But come on! A little debate is good for exercizing the brain. 2. When I am behind someone at a red light, who apparently has missed the turning of the signal to green, I do give a light tap of the horn to „wake“ them up. I am thankful, when someone gives me a beep, too, in case I was daydreaming. 3. I am still irritated by the waiting in line culture in Germany and I will tell people to back off, if they are too close. Also, I love how Americans will typically say, I think you were first, whereas some Germans will try to wiggle their way to the front of the line, with no regard for „whose turn was it.“ At the end of the day, I do try to adapt to the situation and cultural norms in Germany. That being said, I should try to cool my jets behind the steering wheel.
In the UK people queue for the bus before it's even there. In NYC we mush in, but in an orderly fashion. I think in China everyone pushes and shoves. Many times my non-NYC sister comments on me bumping someone on the subway that I didn't even notice. It happens to everyone all the time. When everyone is wearing a down coat in the winter the people getting off the subway can just mush and slip through the people getting on at the same time. It's very efficient.
I think you're definitely right that those behaviors are considered "rude" in the US. I've been to the US myself and I was especially confused about the "fake plans" they made at first haha Something like that would just never happen in Germany😄 But it's so interesting to see different cultural behaviors from people, I mean they grew up like this so they don't know a different way. So nice video!👌🏻 Oh and Gute Besserung with your calf😁
Hmm, not sure if it's just a standalone or rare case, but when I was walking alone on a quiet street in Ohio, some random woman walked towards me and said, "Sir, what are you doing wandering around", I said I was just taking a scroll and I'm a tourist, then she asked me to leave because it was her neighbourhood and my presence made her uncomfortable, I was like okay, I don't want any trouble, I'm leaving. And she silently followed me for at least 5 minutes before she turned back. i was then under the impression that Americans aren't shy of being direct
When I did a road trip in the states with two friends of mine we didn't have much money so we slept in the car some nights. We really tried to find parking places to spend the night where we didn't bother anyone yet still we were chased away by the police two times. They checked our IDs and after we explained ourselves they were quite friendly yet we still had to leave since we were reported suspicious people. The third time some huge truck came near our car in the middle of the night, honking and flashing the head light. When one friend of mine got out of our car and tried to walk to the truck to speak to the driver he qickly drove backwards to gain distance and continued the honking and flashing. We didn't want any trouble so we drove away. The guy in the truck followed us for about 30 miles to make sure we left the area. That was pretty creepy. But I guess we had to be thankful for not getting shot at. Still these people seemed a bit paranoid to me, since in Germany noone gives a damn about some parking car anywhere.
It sounds like that woman didn't want any "outsiders" in her neighborhood. In other words, she sounds afraid of (or prejudiced against) people who are not exactly like her. She could be a racist or a xenophobe.
@@melindar.fischer5106 Or maybe she just had had some bad experiences that made her fearful and anxious. I wouldn't be so quick with judging people and throwing critters like 'racist' and 'so-and-so-phobic' at them.
Nice cut and cool video, thx for sharing. As a German IT Manager in California I struggle so hard with how to address criticism and how to make people to do better. I try to not offend my team or my boss but this is almost not possible. Timelines are almost never met and my boss is like ... Awesome job, you all did wonderful ... I'm like ... No we didn't, this was okay at maximum. Especially in corona times when efficiency is dropping significantly and everybody is so busy with Schulterklopfen. You have to pick your fights and I try to adjust, but this is a major difference in cultural behavior.
As an American fairly new to living in Germany, I’d agree these behavior differences stood out to me as well. Although, “staring” was probably the most glaring behavior difference between the two cultures that stood out the most to me.
Your tv setup is da bomb! 😅 I enjoy your view on Germany, having lived in both countries I can certainly relate to that. Especially the first point was something I had to get used to in the first few weeks in the US... and it actually got me in trouble! Funny, that despite globalisation, world wide web and cultural exchange there are so many differing habits from one country to another...
about honking at the green traffic light: I think, we germans just want you to notice it´s green and it is also just a kind of directness americans may find rude.
why is there a short phase with yellow between red and green (in germany) if not to prepare to go as soon as the traffic lights turn green? there once even was a debate whether to abolish that phase to avoid jumpstarts. don't be surprised when people expect you to at least start quickly on green without any(!) delay ... such delays can also be seen as rude behavior, causing you to miss that greenphase. btw: *_legally,_* honking is not allowed since it is not endangering you, but only somewhat annoying (unless that car starts rolling back)
It is more aggressive than just notifying the driver the light has changed color. I know this as the car that honked, generally aggressively passes the car as soon as possible. I grew up driving in Massachusetts and German drivers are more skilled, yet have much less patience for others on the road.
You'll find the same behaviour in the US, especially in big city traffic. (In Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels, the "New York Second" is described as the shortest possible measurement of time, Standardised as the time between the lights turning green and the taxi behind you honking)
@@jhdix6731 You're absolutely right. I have NYC roots and realize that you have ⅛ of a second to react to a green light there, or you're gonna Get the 🐃 horn, even if you're in front of a Prius that's being driven by a ninety-year-old Nun!!
So as a german I can tell you that "Hey, you're an American, you need to do better" is a german way of a friendly tease. Let me explain that: We combine our low level german humor, our directness and our urge to tell the truth in a socially acceptable way. If you are with friends in germany you tease each other all the time and its fun because you just can be real through this little trick instead of faking it like much americans do (at least those I met). So if you are in a friendly environment here and someone is rude its just our friendly-teasing-manner that we use to lift of pressure of the situation and cheer up the mood. Often people also talk rude about themself and crack a joke on their own cost. Might sound weird, but it works and germans I know are the most direct, honest and friendly people you could ever meet. No faking, no beating around the bush, just humans beeing nice and honest with no bad intentions whatsoever. So if someone you know is rude to you in germany its in 99% of the cases ment as a joke.
its rude, its like an american saying "hey did your opa fight for hitler?" no one wants to talk politics with strangers and have to defend their country. The country that kind of saved you from being split up as the rest of Europe would have seen fit.
LOL, great observations, and largely true, just one thing I'd like to mention - when you have someone come up behind you on the Autobahn, even in the furthest left lane who flashes their lights at you from behind (often combined with not deccelarating appropriately and coming up behind you uncomfortably close - yes, I realize, the irony) to get you to drive faster or move over to the middle or right lane, that's straight up harrassment and if that driver gets caught - which is very difficult to do I admit, but there are police helicopters out patroling for exactly that thing, you can get a hefty fine and, depending on the severity of the case, it's considered reckless endangerment and you get your license revoked for a time and might have to do anger management classes. So, while overall driving culture might be a bit more agressive and corrective without that being considered exeptionally rude, that kinda behaviour is douchebag 101 and shouldn't be accepted even on German streets.
I think the shorter distance in lines is also because most of our grocery stores are a lot smaller than the typical American stores, so there is no physical way to increase the distance without leading a line through the whole shop.
The personal space thing in Germany's quite the opposite from, say, Finland and Sweden, where you stand 20 feet from people at the bus stop and shove yourself against the wall when you pass someone in the corridor in your apartment building. And in Estonia, drivers will practically run into another car before they'll think of touching their auto horns.
That really happens here. Some guy thought I did something wrong to him, I have no idea what it was, and chased me around for a while. I was going to lead him to a police station but fortunately I lost him, I was driving a German car! I bought a used Audi TT last year and it’s a little rocket 🚀
In my Principles of International Management class I learned that the perception of acceptable physical closeness is very different from country to country. However, I also learned that the German culture is typically more comfortable with larger distances than the US. Your perception surprised me because when I lived in the states I always felt uncomfortable when the person at Walmart greeted me right at the entrance and came real close (one of the many reasons why Walmart failed to be successful in Germany)
I am a German living in Central America. In my circle of friends I am notorious for saying yes when I mean yes and saying no when I mean no. And when asked for my opinion, ppl will get a damned honest answer. You know what? People love me here because they know what I stand for.
Well, thats exactly the character which made Independence from the Brits happen in the first place. The Ethnic majority in the fight against slavery and for independence of the USA was Germany. Up to 38% of US Literature was German, thats was the majority. Before outbreak of World War 1 the cleansing of German history, art and literature started taking place. It reduced it to 0-%. Not to forget the lynchings of Germans, forcing to change names and forced to quit to speak German. Oh, and the concentration camps. The annexing of Farms and Businesses. The Deportation of Germans who have been there since before the Revolution. Germans who have build America have been hunted down nationwide. Same took place in the eastern regions of central Europe before outbreak of WW 1. Have you heard of the German Belt in US America ? Or the Revolutionary Battle of Germantown ? Germantown 1688 ? Pennsylvania ? Did you visit the Germania Building in Milwaukee ? US America is so full of German origin its insane. Yet, it is forgotten and not recognized anymore. Amazing how much a Nation can erase within 100 Years. A whole history has been wiped out.
I think saying "Oh yes, we should totally hang out!" while thinking "That is a weird ass person" behind someones back is much more rude than politely declining. Just my german opinion though :P
I find everything you say 100% accurate and perfect cuz I'm from the PNW and we seem to experience Germany the same way. LOVE Portlandia! Like so many of your videos, you are "Correct as usual, King Nalf".
3 years ago I met a very nice Lady from Kentucky during my holiday in Nice. She was a bit lost and I showed her around. We had a very nice afternoon together and she told me the story of her life. The next day she wanted to fly to Hungary. When we said goodbye, she invited me to visit her in Kentucky. Now I'm confused: Was this just american politeness or did she mean it?
@@mojojim6458 American hypocrisy: Not only thanking her - but also inviting her to visit me in my home in Kentucky with the intention, to hopefully never ever see that "kind" person again! 💩💩💩
Nick, come to Connecticut. Aggressive driving like Boston, but most of us(before covid 19) stand about 2 feet apart. Would be nice to hear your comments comparing East vs West coast habits.
They get so close that when paying by card, you have to turn the card machine around so they don't see your pin 😅 (very uncomfortable) I noticed this after a couple of weeks living in Germany!
I simply leave my cart behind me so no one can get all that close. Lol However, I do get some stares sometimes when I distance myself from the person in front of me. Oh well.
People in St. Louis usually honk pretty quickly if you miss a green, but not always. I remember visiting DC about 20 years ago, and people would honk INSTANTLY, sometimes while the person in front was actually in motion.
Last year I sat next to a couple from Michigan in a plane. We came along just great and had fun during the flight & exchanged emails. They even showed me pictures of one of her son's who was single and stuff like that. I forgot about it a few weeks but ended up writing her eventually. This was in November, never got an answer. Kinda sad since they were probably the best "seat neighbors" you can have :D
Being direct is not something rude in itself. Its the way people formulate the message and the way they pass it over. For ex. that guy could have told you "Hey, you were not really that good today. But its OK, you just came here, takes some time to adjust. I'm sure you will get better in the future." This has a totally different sound to it although it gives the same core message over. The problem is never in what you say, its how you say it.
I agree with you. I am Hungarian, but I also lived in Ireland and England as well, and now I am in Germany. I am also an honest and direct person, but in a polite way. I don't wanna change, but because I am staying here for a while, I have to get stronger or so. Also as a I see, when Germans have got problem they don't say: can I talk to you? No... Make it face to face 1 in 1? No... Front of every one and be sure everyone hears it. I can not deal with that.
What you Oregon's think about driving in Washington state? I felt that pretty much like in Germany, yes on interstate a bit slower (around 80mph), but still usually about 10mph over limit everywhere
I always found it weird or kind of rude when I had a smalltalk ish conversation with americans sometimes they turned around and left while they were still talking to me. This is something you would never experience in Germany
Because i see you so often in sweat pants. Do you know what Karl Lagerfeld said about wearing sweat pant if not doing sports? He said " Wer Jogginghosen trägt hat die Kontrolle über sein Leben verloren". Poor Nalf ;-)
It's amusing to me that germans are considered "rude" and aggressive - while somehow the only appropriate reaction an american knows for unfamiliar social situations is immediate aggression to the max. Like why do a lot off misunderstandings or wrong behaviour in traffic - somehow immediately end up in road rage? Shoot first - ask questions later. Or why would I even think to aggressively verbally attack someone if he gets to close to me - if I also have the option to politely tell them to keep distance because I feel uncomfortable? Sounds WAY more aggressive to me. Like if 'mericans never got really rid of that Wild West culture. Survival of the fittest. Explains also why a lot of them fetishize their guns so much to a religiously point. I guess that's tied to the religion influenced exceptionalism. I'll take being "rude" and honest - but also civil - anyday over "polite" on the surface - but super-aggressive when boundaries are only lightly crossed.... knowing that getting shot by my fellow citizens isn't "a thing" in europe is quite comforting. I can deal with a bit of cursing in a real dispute way better...
Killing people over bad driving is crazy but I do understand why people get angry, because bad driving puts your life in danger. You definitely have a point though especially about guns, it’s as if they’re not just for “protection” it’s like a religion and they worship their guns
What really irritates me (based on second sources - no personal experience - but it's coming from americans) is how irresponsible US Drivers seem to be. Texting while driving seems to be a regular thing in the US. Like traffic seems to be too boring otherwise. I guess the automatic gear is to blame???I don't know man. When old-school mobile phones in general became a thing.... even in germany a lot of people texted while driving... BUT it started to become a problem immediately- so the laws where adjusted and know it's a hefty fine and even up to a month driving ban.So almost no one uses them while driving anymore. Even just holding it your hand while driving can be punished. And you can always use a hands-free System in your car.Also german drivers in general seem to be more attentive - because we have to. Denser cities - more traffic - narrower highways with higher speed limits. But people still make mistakes and there's the occasional dispute - but nothing even comparable the all those road rage Clips I've seen on RUclips.This is next-level-sh!t in the US. It's just.... holy smokes.... why would anyone immediately switch to ass-whopping and even more extreme measures?People are always on the edge it seems..... I don't know..... it's just the whole culture of conflict resolving is very different than ours...... maybe it's just my bias - but I like the german way a lot better...Can we come across as impolite or blunt sometimes.... definitely yes. We like to be direct - no fluff talk beating around a bush.But rude to me is a step above beeing impolite - that to me is impoliteness with intent.And that is far less of a thing in germany. And nowhere as aggressive as americans can be.It also shows how different our approach is to the US one in situations where the police is involved.Police brutality is not much of a thing in Germany. Actually their main objective in any Situation is DE-ESCALATION first as much as possible. Not so in the US. Still our crime numbers look way better than the stats in the US. One might think..... what are those millions of guns good for - if they can't protect when actually neccessary? Funny how one can feel much safer WITHOUT any guns around..... and I've served the army - I know what guns in the wrong hands can cause. There millions of People in the US who shouldn't have guns in the first place....... but what can you could about it other than change "god-given" laws... right?
As an Ami in Germany, I have a problem with directness when I'm not asking for their opinion. For example, I bought a cordless vacuum cleaner. My German brother-in-law comes over and is using it and says in German, "I don't think you should have bought it." I should have told him, thanks for your opinion which I didn't ask for.
That is the TV we used to see in the common room in Nalf's and Rudy's apartment. The two of them played a computer game on it, and the winner...Nalf...got to keep it in his room for a week. The loser can't watch TV for a week. At the end of the week, they return the TV to the common room and play another computer game to see who gets to keep it for the next week.
@@mojojim6458 That sounds kind of fun but also kind of sad. And definitely like something only men can think of, haha. :P But still that stand is genious.
The thing is that in Germany when someone is being roundabout and beating around the bush, it's not considered as real (at least from my experience). Being roundabout is like signaling "I don't really like this but if you continue, I won't say anything", so if you really don't like something you have to be straight with someone. While a friend might take the time trying to decipher your words, a stranger won't. I think in general, honesty is a big part of German culture.
The honking at people sleeping at traffic lights is actually more like a wake up call than an aggressive action. How else will you notify the people that they are blocking traffic?
4 года назад+16
I am wondering one thing (apart from where my other comment went… ;-)): How *DO* Americans make actual plans for meeting up, hangin' out, etc?
We only meet up/make plans if we really know someone or there is a strong connection. It is usually a sense. Telling someone we should chill actually means, that somewhere down the line, we may actually get to that point. Definitely not somthing that is rushed or forced upon.
I remember teaching English to foreign students in Australia, I ended up teaching them that if someone asks "How are you?" just once, it's just part of the greeting ritual. They don't care how you are; just give a positive answer (or a negative negative answer like "not bad" or "can't complain"). If someone actually wants to know how you are, they will ask again with different phrasing and/or intonation.
@@steffenrosmus1864 In den USA ist die Quote 120 Waffen pro 100 Einwohner, im Schnitt als 1,2 Waffen pro Einwohner. Offensichtlich besitzen manche mehr und manche weniger, aber so weit her geholt ist es jetzt nicht wenn es mehr Handfeuerwaffen in Privatbesitz als Menschen gibt.
As an Italian who had lived in Germany for a while I agree: I never noticed them standing too close in grocery stores, though I had issues with the other 2... 😅
The line must be efficient! Just kidding, it's weird I have never thought about this, because otherwise germans aren't known for this at all and it makes many people uncomfortable. But I guess it's different when in a line.
The story about your sister`s friend is absolutely shocking to me. Saying "yes" and meaning "hell no" is not beating around the bush (as you call it), that`s just the complete opposite. That lack of reliability would be considered offensive in Germany.
Viva la difference!
Yes, we would call that "lying". It´s weird how another culture can consider this being "friendly". How can be something friendly, that is practically a lie?
I wonder how that "weird woman" would have reacted if you actually would have gone over to her place later. As an American lady she is part of that "friendly lying" culture and would probably not expect you to come. Would she grin and bear it or send you right back home with another "friendly lie"?
@@maxkehm5080 I know!!! I (American, here) hate it when ANYONE does that! I agree. That's Lying, and I refuse to go that way to get out of an uncomfortable invitation. I'd just tell them, "No, thanks." Period. (Yes, I'm American, of German/French/English heritage! LOL!)
Most likely the woman's invitation was as 'false' as the answer, so I can't see a problem here.
This "beating around the bush" is one of the biggest problems in the US for me. What happens when you can never openly criticise anything can be clearly seen in the US right now: things will never change and the anger builds and builds until it boils over.
Sometimes people just need to be direct to get to the core of the problem. Saves lots of time and energy to be able to work on the problem rather than trying to decypher what exactly it is the other person might actually want to say.
I think they're being direct now in the US. But I don't think that is the fault of the American psyche. Black people have never been shy telling you what they think of white people.
I've lived in South Africa a long time and they have their own approach to "beating about the bush." (At least in the English speaking community) If you take your time you learn to read the more subtle approach to disapproval or rejection - when yes means no. When people move to Germany they are expected to learn that directness is not rude. When Germans move abroad they must also accept that directness can be rude and learn the different cultural approaches where they are rather than expecting their host countries to adapt to their ways. There isn't only one way of human communication.
Sounds like the difference between men and women (no offense)
Interesting take. I’m from the UK and my experience in Germany, I found when I had issues the people I dealt with would rather send emails/ pass messages through other people rather than be direct themselves.
Exactly, it's also very annoying on reddit, for example, or even in online games. Everyone is obsessively slimy and hypocritical, in fact one can be as malevolent as one wants, as long as one is "smug", which counts as positive enough. It's absolutely disgusting. And everyone is pouncing on anyone who makes a rational criticism, like basically saying "this doesn't make sense" or "this could be better". Someone like that always gets flocked and talked down to, treated like a subhuman , and absolutepy every shid, no matter how bad gets excused and some buttkissing to go along with it. I don't get it, something is wrong with their schools, maybe.
My „Aha!“ moment after moving to Germany was the realization that when a German is criticizing you they see themselves as doing you a favor. Like when a German says something like, „You did that completely wrong!“ the intent is not to insult you but to help draw your attention to your faults so you can correct them in the future.
Most people who either grew up in a Jewish-American family, or has a Jewish mother-in-law, (can be said for Italian-Americans too), esp on the East Coast where rudeness prevails, is very familiar with the constant criticisms that are so forthcoming lolol. I'm convinced it's a traditional holdover from the Old Country. For Jews, it would be from Germany. For the people that grew up in regular white/Anglo families, the German honesty and directness/criticisms would probably indeed be a sensitivity-inducing shock. I feel like some of us would already be immune though, lmao.
Should be obvious.
Excactly. It's just among strangers, as we are here, you never know about the competence of the other person. Someone correcting you, still has the idea of "I know better than you", and this is something you could be insulted by. But there is no other hidden bad intention.
I really don't get it: the habbit of lying to each other repeatedly and blatantly is acceptable but being straight up honest is rude...
@Florian Wilke it is "habit" "lying" "blantantly" and "repeatedly" Good news, "acceptable" is correct. How about that: your English has been corrected by a direct American from New York ✌
@@mbuck5044 thanks! edited.
@@florianwilke2162 lol I think he tried to be rude.
@@mbuck5044 Hi American from New York, actually, it's "blatantly."
And while we're at it: it's also "lying TO" each other as opposed to "lying at each other." Never mind "dont" ("don't") and "i" (I), we'll chuck these up to social media talk. 😉
Greets from a GerMerican from La. 😜
Addendum: Consider "chuck it up" as "Lou-siana" speak for "chalk it up." You know how we Southerners like to distort the language. Lol
@@connectingthedots100 emphasis on "tired" :)
"Hey, you're an American, you need to do better" is not direct, it's rude. Yes, Germans prefer to be honest with you, but we still value politeness.
I agree!
He probably tried to be funny but there is a language barrier so maybe nalf didn't get it.
@@Skyl3t0n You're right. It really sounds like typical dry German humor :D
Oh, americans can be very rude once you look behind the curtain of fake friendlyness.
In my year as an exchange student at the high school I went to, they wanted me to be the kicker for their American Football Team, because I played real football in Germany. They were nice and friendly so I said yes.
But as soon as I could not hit the handegg with the same precision I could a football (soccer ball, so people from the US don't get confused) they startet to get very rude and make fun of me beacause as a German i had to be great at it from birth...
I never held an handegg before in my live and they do kick quiet differently from a football.
@@JJJT-
Yeah, but I think that's highschool for you. It's the same in Germany. You can't take the actions of these brats a benchmark for adult behavior in both countries.
Things that are normal in the States but considered rude in Germany:
1. promising to meet up with someone just to ghost them later
2. interpret driving behaviour as a personal attack and beating up people (very rude)
3. being vocal about your discomfort of someone being to close behind you (with the hidden message of telling them that they look like pickpockets)
... its all about the perspective xD
@werwx wersc If someone is that close behind you in the States they (a) probably ARE a pickpocket or (b) you’re about to be molested. From Nalf’s vlog I now know there’s an option (c) they are German. In the USA (a) and (b) are much more likely...😜
The 2nd part is true tho. We're quite aggressive drivers and sadly that won't change until the police care.
Another one: engaging cashiers in this totally unneccessary smalltalk, not only a short exchange but an elongated chat and therefore causing others to stand in line even longer. You are wasting MY time!
@@rakischmidt7032 not only talking with the cashiers but this whole smal talk situation is quite terrible. Let me explain what I mean:
Most of all waiters which have often enough extremly low wages and therefore rely on tips are chatty so they seem more sympathic to you. This is however often enough tactical and no real interests bound to it which makes it actually a rude interaction in the first place. Germans have often enough little chats with cashiers and waiters too but they do not pretend to be interested if they are not just for greater tips.
Beside that the whole resturant scene in America is actually a rude concept. You are permanentely encouraged to leave in a subtile way as you are in the way for another guest. So you actually are not traded as persons but as a part of a machinery and nothing more. The same is how employees often are traded in America too and thats a shame. The moment you are not of any value anymore they try to replace you.
And do not get me wrong here we have a similar situation in Germany in resturants too mostly for christmas and eastern there is a timelimit for each table because others allready wait to be able to have their turn.
For example at my fathers resturant it was arround 1 hour to 90 minutes with only the last persons in line are allowed to stay as long as they wanted. Even this is rude behaviour somehow at least no one beating arround the bush in the first place and when people ordered their place on the telephone they would allready be informed about this because of the special situation of the holidays.
Well about part 2: When somebody is drifting around the roundabout at the front of my house at 1:00 am in the middle of the week,
I kind of feel personally attacked. I'm from Austria by the way.
The biggest difference for me between Norway and the USA is the extreme aggressiveness of the police in the USA. I got arrested on the Canada-US border. I was working in Canada as a professor but had been invited to give a talk in Washington. I was driving a Canadian government vehicle with a big sign on the side saying "Canadian government". Anyway, I got to the border and rolled down the window and the officer asked: "Canadian?". I replied "No, Norwegian - eh actually, my passport is Danish!". The out of the car. Hands on the top of the car. Handcuffs. Getting interrogated for 2 hours. I had all the paperwork in order. No excuses when they let me go. I was appalled and shocked.
No doubt the cops in the US have been militarized and also have become inept and incompetent because of quota hiring….makes them dangerous because they aren’t capable of doing the job
He didn't mention staring. He didn't mention staring? HE DIDN'T MENTION STARING???!!!
We should stare him down till he does. XD
Why is this not rude in Germany? It was so uncomfortable when I went there lol
@@SupaTraxHD because it's not considered staring but just looking and you happen to look at people
KyiHsin someone I know visited Russia. Staring is very common there. It also is not considered rude.
KoldIce7 Yeah you look at people but you dont lock your eyes on them and carry on even after they look back at you. It makes people feel like you’re judging them especially when you’re an outsider
Yeah, I went to the US as an exchange student and people were friendly and invited me a lot.
But as soon as I really wanted to follow up on some of these invitations I got crazy looks and they treated me as if I was weird for doing so.
That was the moment I knew I could never live in a society like this.
At least my experience was that most americans are superficial and fake in areas which are important to me.
Why is it so hard for US Americans to be honest and real?
Good Video as always, thanks Nalf 👍🏻
Uh, that's a reason to NOT live in the US. I consider this rude in a passive way, haha.
@@mb3391 Yeah, and I hate people beeing passive aggressive.
If you got a problem with me just say it, so we can talk about it and maybe find a solution or get a misunderstanding out of the way.
same thing happened to me when I was in the US
Yeah, this is on of the contexts (I'm thinking of Feli's part of their collab) where Americans *are* superficial. And note how Nick's sister's friend was totally enthusiastic about hangin' out… or sounded like it, but *never* intended on actually hangin' out. Whereas in Germany, while you may get stood up, (and I'm guilty of this so much… for personal reasons), in the moment when someone agrees to meet or hang out or do something together, they (me included) *really* mean it. But then there's time passing between this statement of intent and the actual meet/hangout/do. And things can change in that time.
I am half-half. I suspect it just ends up being what subculture or individuals u end up with. Its wrong to say Americans are superficial, or that Germans are rude because of their directness. Both can simply be experienced as annoying -- what's annoying is likely our own relationship with ourselves.
The American way of superficial bla bla and fake friendly kindness, we call it in Germany hinterfotzig.... I definitely prefere the direct German way!
Bro chill mal.:D
Good that you're from here, cuz you probably haven't gone home from Aldi in tears. Sucks to be me.
I can guarantee you when, as a foreigner in a strange country, where no one is friendly and no one speaks to you, it is a light in a dark day when someone is friendly, regardless of the reason.
@@jannikclaussen7998 Wieso? Er hat doch vollkommen recht!
@@caciliawhy5195 Yes, it's nice to have friendly encounters, but having stragers commenting on your appearance every single day made me feel uncomfortable very very quickly
„Germans driving is so aggressive“
„In German Autobahn when you drive to slow they flash you with the lights“
„When you do that in America this will end up in road rage“
Now nalf tell me who is aggressive? 😂😂😂
L.A. TECH but we use the blinker which americans don’t do, and we are not driving in the left line to pass a car, not to block the whole street
and it will end up in a shooting .... not in Germany, thats more the case in the US
Most aggressive drivers on German Autobahnen are foreigners or Merkel-guests. They often dont have license because they know they wont get charged after police and courts feat to be labelled racists by antipatriotic media...
I really fail to see how it is not rude to tell someone 'Oh yeah, we're totally going to do this.' and then not showing up. You can only do that if you're 100% sure the other person got the underlying information that's like 'Sorry pal, it's not gonna happen.'
And of course also in Germany there is a fine line between beeing honest about things/telling facts and beeing rude. For example if a friend of mine gained a few pounds I'd never go and say 'Hey girl, you've gotten fat.' I'd just simply wouldn't touch that topic.
But on the other hand the communication between guys/girls can be even more complicated than between Americans/Germans - can be a freakin' minefield sometimes...
she : "do you like my new dress?"
his american answer : "absolutely fantastic!"
his german answer : "maybe we can find something better ..."
while the second answer may sound more rude at first, how rude is the first answer, sending her out to her lion friends who will tear her apart (behind her back) after seeing her in a terrible dress? but as this is also a male/female problem, none of the two answers would have been a good one, and either could have resulted in the same following events. maybe she didn't feel well with that dress anyway, using either answer to start questioning the honesty of his answer ("you don't mean that. you think i look fat" - "i didn't say that" - "but you thought it"), and now having an excuse to not go to the event and making him look bad/guilty. you simply can't win ...
:-) :-(
My German sister-in-law did that though. She found out my pants size and her reaction was automatic, "Wow, you've really let yourself go." She also saw me holding my folded American flag and said, without hesitation, "Oh, are we having a flag-burning party?" So no, I don't appreciate German directness.
Just detonate some of the mines nonchalantly and smile :)
@@Anson_AKB As an American, remember that we would never say anything to hurt her feelings! We would NEVER say: "Absolutely fantastic!" We'd be more likely to say what you had the German guy saying, or something like, "You know what? I think you'd look better in another color." LOL! We will avoid the direct answer to THAT particular question, at all cost!
Haha... okay whatever happened to honesty delivered in a co side rate way? It’s possible you know 🌝
Being too direct isn’t rude to New Yorkers, we have no time for that and also have that reputation. The entire East Coast of the U.S. also drives aggressive, lol.
*aggressively
*aggressively
Yes, but rudely and stupidly, unlike in Germany.
The "beating around the bush" is also something I experience with my British colleagues. So, if I need a quick response I ask them to give me a 'German answer' which usually means yes or no 😂
I like that!
Cool
😂😂😂❤
😂❤
Yes, British people beat around the bush much more than we Americans do! Americans have heritage from Germany and Britain and many other cultures, so we're a blend.
Your TV rack is very creative - translation: Dein Mobiliar ist scheiße! ;)
Nice example of German Directness
wolf Beschde
Well, that is rude :( ;)
Yes, new big screens with two legs suck.
I think the genuine honesty of being direct should be a characteristic that we should all strive towards as a society. It prevents passive aggressive and hostile behaviour, and creates a sense of trust in the community 🙌🏻
While it sounds lovely in theory, rest assured that there're still tons of passive-aggressive people in Germany as well 😬 But I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment!
White lies hold communities together just as much as brutal honestly. Both have their uses.
American: Germans are direct.
The Dutch: Do you have a reason why you are not holding my beer?
Dutch German here. My directness in Germany is still Dutch.
Wait, now I'm confused 🤣 Please enlighten me!
The Dutch are considered even more direct. You should listen to Dutch minister of finance adressing an issue with Soutern Europe. The are not amused with this directness;)
Yeah Dutch are something different 😂
And way more direct. As a German you often get the feeling dutch people don't like germans but apparently it's just that Dutch people are way more direct 😂
@@MonotoniTV Yeah but a lot dutch people also don't overly love the germans because of history reasons. I mean, i'm a german and also don't really like them too much 😂
The difference in directness between Germans and Americans can cause really awkward situations. Americans may feel offended by German bluntness while Germans may consider the American's behavior as fake and even rude. If a German invited someone to their place and the other person (seemingly) agreed to come but would never show up, the German would be highly offended. But actually many cultures are less direct than Germans. Many Asian cultures try to avoid negations at all. So, for example if they asked someone who is considered old enough "Do you have children?", that person would probably not say "No" but rather something along the lines of "Not yet". A Japanese business partner of mine has developed the "maybe no" as middle way so that we Germans understand their "no" but they have still softened it with the "maybe" so not to be too rude. Dealing with these differences can be very frustrating but once you are aware you will develop ways to figure out the true meaning behind certain words and behaviors.
Regarding the driving in Germany, I personally feel that it has become more agressive in recent years and there are differences throughout Germany. I rarely ever honk at others. If someone at a traffic light does not move when it has turned green I wait a little and usually they notice the green themselves. If I feel that they are too distracted, I may shortly tip my honk just to remind them to look up. This is just a "wake-up-call" and not intended to be agressive.
I am surprised you did not mention the staring again. This is actually something I had never heard before you mentioned it. To be honest, I still do not quite know what you mean by it. Could this maybe be different throughout Germany? The other day I visited my parents who live in a dead-end in a rural area. As I entered the street one of the neighbors was at their gate and I stared at me and my car. That reminded me of you complaining about German staring. I guess he was just checking me out if I was a stranger. I then greeted him by nodding, he nodded back and stopped staring. Ever since I wonder if this was an example of the German staring 🤔😄
@Dave Moss you seem to have a problem with germans. What is it? Can i help you with anything? Just ask :)
No, it's the more common staring at other people on the subway etc. Suspicious rural people who never see a stranger is a different thing.
@Dave Moss Kindness changes everything! Kommentar unangebracht hier❣
I love that being direct is considered rude in the US, yet they have voted the most "direct" (or rude) person in the world as a president. 😃
Uh... maybe the second most? Take a look at brazil's president bolsonaro :(
@B. Greene didn't know it was that bad. i just assumed it was an electoral system of the middle ages not being reformed...
The problem is that President Trump just makes crap up and lies constantly. He is not a reliable person.
To be fair, Trump has a German heritage.
Actually I never had any issues with beeing direct in the US. I guess it depends on what kind of people you are around though.
YOu think driving in germany is agressive? Have you ever been to france or italy? I literally had fiat pandas honk at me, pudh me and pass me with zero distance there because I was doing only 10 over the speedlimit. And as a rule when they pass you they hang out of the window, gesticulate at you and yell something like "affancula madonna! tu stupido pizza pasta maccaroni!"
True about the directness. I remember hearing from at least one American who, living in the US and *not* referencing experiencing another more direct (and more honest) culture, complained about this dishonesty, and wished for Americans to be more direct, more honest.
Or maybe they never told you, you were too direct. ... you Know ... because that’s not what they do ;)
Honestly though, driving in France (especially Paris) is such a nightmare! Ever since I made it out of la Place de la Concorde alive, I felt like no matter what I might face in German traffic won't even begin to bother me.
In Frankreich kleben sie dir sogar auf einer komplett leeren Autobahn bei 120 km/h nur 10 meter hinterm Auto und nutzen sehr gerne die Lichthupe, um dich zu irgendeiner Aktion zu bewegen. In Deutschland habe ich noch nie eine Lichthupe von Leuten hinter mir erlebt. In Belgien gibt es zwar eine Geschwindigkeitsbegrenzung auf der Autobahn, aber die linke Spur wird zum Rasen benutzt. Als ich das erlebt habe, musste ich direkt an den Spruch "Du sollst nicht so belgen!" denken. Die Belgier die belgen über die Autobahn. Da dachte ich mir, das Verb "belgen" müsse von den Belgiern abgeleitet sein. Stimmt zwar wahrscheinlich nicht, aber es passt.
@@johannes3153 Can you translate this to English ? I'm Belgian and would like to understand what you are saying about us ;)
How rude... someone invites you somewhere and you answer "yeah cool why not lets figure out time " but you don't really want to hang out with that person so what you do is then talk behind his/her back telling others how weird that person is? And the fact that you do it too? ..... wow. Im stunned.
@Karolina Kubik I genuinely want to know, what do Germans do? You can’t say “I don’t like you so I don’t want go.” You can’t be busy or unavailable when the invitation isn’t specific or the person is willing to move the date to fit with your schedule. What do you say? That’s why we’ll give a nonspecific affirmative and never firm up the plans. I don’t do the talking behind people’s back thing, and that act doesn’t necessarily go along with these circumstances.
@@carolz5090 Why so many excuses? If I find someone weird, I ignore the person, problem solved.
@ Karolina Kubik I fully agree with you! I detest this hypocritical behaviour...
@Mira So someone asks you to come over for dinner sometime, and you ignore them. Sure, that’s not rude. Great solution. 👍
@@carolz5090 when something like this happens i kill off the conversation with a simple "no" and then change the topic, is that rude? if i don't want to spend time with that person i sure don't care about offending her/him also that person then knows that i don't want to be friends with him/her which is also good, i would think of it as more offensive to make a promise and then break it, a promise is a promise is a promise if you don't keep it you are the a-hole ;) isn't it the overall "what people think about me" BS that causes all of this ? there you have people thinking or hoping to be friends when there isn't a snowballs chance in hell for that, it's not nice either is it.
I am German and I hate people standing behind me in line and coming so close that they "tackle" me when gesturing with their friend. I am so tempted to turn around and say: do I know you? Do you want to cuddle? Am I in your way? Can you keep your distance please? I did it once only and the person was very startled and did not seem to know what I was talking about. So I can totally relate Nalf. Now with Corona, there was the opposite with some people literally jumping aside to keep their distance. Both ways, strange to me.
6:38 Fun fact: The traffic fatality rate in the US is three times as high as in Germany (referring to German Wikipedia).
That's something that's changed over the years. Fatality rates were lower when I was a kid in the US than anywhere in Europe, but that was decades ago. Europe has made more and better changes since then which has brought their fatality rates down, traffic circles vs intersections being one of them.
LOL ... good one ... da haben wir es. Perception and reality!
@@drh3b The US has an extremely low population density compared to european countries like UK France in the room of Paris and Germany, Switzerland, Italy.
Nick youre (mostly) right like usual. As a german I completely agree with the driving and physical distance situations. I also think that the german society can be classified as pretty direct in comparison to other countries. Nevertheless, I think that there are also a lot of german people who like to avoid these kind of direct talks and rather try to come along well with each other. Me for example, I think its also pretty rude to criticise you the way they did after your first games - even for german standards.
"I think its also pretty rude to criticise you the way they did after your first games - even for german standards"
Yes and no. Don't forget it was a sporting event. Emotions are usually much higher. Everything gets a little bit more exaggerated.
Dude, you always make me smile. I am a German living abroad and I totally get what you’re saying I caught myself the other day that I was beating around the bush when having an uncomfortable conversation 😅😂 I was like: damn i am loosing my directness👀 I love the way you tell the stories your editing is just totally my cup of tea! Man !!! You’re awesome
I'm confused. Who is more aggressive, the Germans that honk at each other or the Americans that beat each other up? Also I wonder whether that physical distancing thing is a Southern German rural thing. I'm from a northern German city and my natural desire to distance matches the one here in the US.
I'm from Southern Germany and a rural area, and I feel very uncomfortable when people come so close they seem to be breathing down my neck...
@@AnnaLee33 I'm from Western Germany (close to the Dutch border), and I'd say we don't have people breathing down our necks either, at least not on the regular. So there're definitely differences within Germany as well :)
How casually Nick nowerdays uses the stickshift of the car. He gets assimilated.
We are ze Germans! We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own!! Resistance is futile!!!
German: took him long enough. American: good job!
@@BlissLovePeace which is another case of german sarcasm which can't really be written down. it sounds rude, but it's not really meant to. It's meant to tease sb in a joking way :)
I noticed that too. Meanwhile the manufacturer of automatic transmissions used in many cars around the world (like all Chrysler products) is ZF, a German company.
Let's make a deal: we Germans try to be less direct to you and you guys take off sunglasses when indoors.
@Dave Moss today Germans arent nazis. Of course they bear responsibility for their anceators past actions but are in no way evil. And that's coming from Polish person.
Lord Dark, as a South African person who lived in Germany, I fully agree with you
Dave Moss, what do you mean
🤣
and their damn shoes holy moly
3:36 Men are expected to be able to sense emotions in the US? Are you serious?
Yes. Read the room. Its called empathy.
@@charlievetta1385 German women don't, they have no emotions that's what is destroying my relationship, good in bed other than that they're controlling and bossy and can't show emotions and a good (at least American) healthy loving relationship needs tenderness not a SS officer!
@@m42037 im starting to see that this overly directness and communication without empathy creates one dimensional interactions that are very black and white without consideration of people around them and lack of awareness. Really narrow minded way of being with the world is 3d with plenty of grey.
@@charlievetta1385 Yes she is this way. We're in a LDR for almost 5 years now. When was there December 2019 till Jan 18th (right before the borders closed) Seems everytime i'm at her house I'm her child, a little boy most the time. On one hand she can be very loving, the other 60% she's a micromanging controlling woman. Hey bro (i could name a 1000 things) ever heard of a woman yell at you just to get out of bed to take a piss because she's a very light sleeper? I mean yell at you!! Mind you we only been together a couple days being apart so long! Her excuse is over worked. I can't go outside by myself to smoke a cigarette alone? Watches me eat and corrects me on how to cut my food, hold a fork in my left hand. Getting a little mustard on my finger is like eating like a pig. She says "i never seen someone like that, it's discusting. Idc about their fkn culture i'm a American i don't eat like a pig i eat normal! I'm 55 years old. I mean i could write all day. As i said she's hot in a skirt, nice body, blond hair but there's more! And i have anxiety disorder she can drive me insane at her place. Never agsin i go back to Berlin!!
I am from Hamburg, my wife is from Seattle. We went to Ikea at one point, up in Hamburg and she had a melt down after 3-4 people bumbed into her without apologizing. For me that would be a normal thing, right?! Happens all the time. But now, after living in the States for 9 years, I can see and feel the difference when I am visiting Home.
German directness: be carefull, when a German woman asks you if she looks fat in this dress, you are traped. There is no approprite answer, the only chance you have is to sneak silently out of the room pretending you haven't heard her
hä, einfach "nein" sagen?? Xd man kann sich auch anstellen
@@Serge0815 Möööp, a) sie weiß, dass du lügst. Wäre sie der Meinung, das Kleid würde sie nicht dick aussehen lassen, würde sie nicht fragen. b) irgend jemand anderes, spätestens die Mutter, würde ihr die Wahrheit sagen. In beiden Fällen hast du verloren
@@kilsestoffel3690 glaub du triffst dich einfach mit den falschen Frauen, solche Probleme hatte ich noch nie ehrlich gesagt. Vllt sich mal mit anständigen Frauen treffen und nicht mit den letzten Zicken.
@@Serge0815 Gib mal nen Tipp, wo die sich rumtreiben! ;-)
@Kilse Stoffel SO FUNNY! As an American woman I would just follow you out of the room, demanding to know why you didn’t answer me. Then I would say that you never listen, that’s the reason we don’t communicate, and start to list other things you do that upset me. This then gives me the option to bring up fights from our past and open them back up as if no time had elapsed. Whereas...the American male would automatically tell me I look great, and may or may not even look at me before answering. I then wander away muttering to myself about what shoes to wear. See how much better? I know all this from experience.
I come from a prominently German part of the united states, complete with a German grandmother. Was taught when someone was beating around the bush they were basically calling you stupid. To this day I can't shake being blunt and to the point because to me it feels rude to be anything but. Needless to say, WHOO, that does not go over well in CA.
Where is a "German part of the world? Lol no such thing like Mexican town, Arabic town, ghettos! 😅 Where?
It is really complicated for us Germans to understand if an invitation or nice words of an American are really meant this way or not.
It needs some time to understand cultural differences, especially what is „rude“ or not. This is different even within the North and the South (Bavaria).
Once you have understood and got used to it, you will understand that friendly people are everywhere, even on the motorway or in a stadion or in a queue.
You are 100% right I’m married to a German man and I lived in Hamburg 3 years. At first I was put off by the directness as I’ve master the art of telling someone to f*c* off and have them feel good about it. I find the German directness refreshing and the US beating around the bush and sugar coating this off putting.
Im from Africa and dating a German, its quite difficult to handle the manner of talking here in Germany. I always get offended and question if the relationship will work
One of the greatest compliments I ever received from a woman was, she being in the moment still slightly irritated with me saying: "You are so infuriatingly direct at times. But on the other hand I always know where you really stand and that you mean what you say and I can rely on that."@@n.m6249
Germans being too direct? Have you ever met someone from The Netherlands?
Really? I have never heard that about them.
not directly
I met a couple of them in a tour group on a 3 week trip through Japan. They were mostly nice but often a bit too loud considering we were in the usually quiet Japan (especially after a couple of beers).
And yeah, they don't beat around the bush but that was okay 99% of the time.
Or Spain for that matter?`When hiking the Laugavegur in Iceland, I was put in a dorm with a bunch of Spaniards. I am a little on the heavier side but I am totally capable of hiking 20+ km a day with 15 kg of gear on my back. In the morning, two ladies from the Spanish group (who were hiking with day packs while their suitcases (!!) were being driven from hut to hut where they were greeted with a ready cooked meal every night) confronted me: "Are you hiking the trail?" When I said yes, their answer was as follows: "But how? You are very fat!!" Not the only example of Spanish "directness"
@@haamification There is a difference between being insulting and being direct, I consider this just a mean reaction not necessary direct.
In general the stores in the US are larger with more space before the cashpoints. In Germany you have to adapt to the space available. If you stand in front of the shopping cart you can manage the space in front of you and you have a good cart distance in the back.
Nick, sneeze into your elbow and wash your hands: how's that for American directness 😂😂😂✌
That's NY directness. And pretty cool to boot. At least in some respects. Lol 😀
@@religiohominilupus5259 😇😇😇🤣🤣🤣thank you!
@@religiohominilupus5259 I'm learning to be direct instead of beating around the bush. I really like that German trait---get to the point 😁
@@religiohominilupus5259 yes! I am a New Yorker and we ain't got no manners 😁😁😁😁
I (from Luxembourg) am married to an American. The beating around the bush behavior drives me crazy. It does not only apply to strangers and friends but also to spouses apparently. We've been having that conversation a bunch of times and I just can't see how it is not rude to mislead, yes lie to people. I've come to appreciate a lot of things America (and Americans) have to offer. But this is something I won't get used to. There is a difference between telling people they suck at their job or their sport and misleading people about intentions. Because of this, Americans are considered to be extremely unreliable. At least in my professional field. There are even contingencies for dealing with the US of A, like projected delays or backup plans
In my view all mankind is located somewhere on a spectrum between honest and polite. Americans, the British, and the Norwegians are on the polite end and the Germans, Dutch and Swedish are on the honest end. You can't have it both apparently.
I lived in NJ for a couple of years. The team was international and we early schooled the US colleagues to be direct.
Driving in NJ, similar to Germany. While I was in Nebraska for I while and I honked the horn to a driver who did not start at a green light after a felt eternity was considered rude. I considered it rude that the driver in front wasted my time and my gas for my car had to run idle.
@Nalf. You forget one detail. Italians can also be very passionate when discussing your reaction time at a traffic light.
Happened to me in northern Italy. Rental car with a malfunctioning engine Start Stop automatic. Where the onboard system helpfully told me to start the engine manually with the ignition key.
In a keyless car. (Facepalm)
P.S. It was a German car made by a major German car brand.
People are only standing close in lines to proactively hinder anyone from slipping in. You mark your spot and stand your ground. :)
Pretty much, yeah 🤣
Being direct IS polite. The goal of communication should be to convey information and to find solutions to problems, not to make one feel cozy. Wasting other people's time is rude, and It is condescending to assume others can't handle different opinions or rejection. Fluffy words that mean nothing is basically lying to make others feel more comfortable, and that is treating them like children.
Flashing the oncoming drivers if they are driving too fast is NOT meant as aggressive.
It's a warning about a Blitzer or police ahead. (And it's actually illegal to do that because you are interfering with prosecution.)
Using the flasher on the freeway is also bad behavior in Germany. only idiots do that.
only idiots drive in a way that other people feel the need to flash.
peter koller there is never a need to flash
@@peterkoller3761 if Im driving almost 140 when 130 is allowed and someone behind me flashes then who's the asshole? I sort of get it if I was going 80 but usually people flash when you're already at or slightly over the speed limit, in my experience.
As an American living in Germany since 2006 I had to get a German drivers license because my California license was not recognized in Germany. When I took my drivers test in Germany the tester said he seriously contemplated failing me because I had the right of way driving down the street and a car pulled out in front of me from a side street, looked like a confused tourist to me, so I slowed down and let him drive through. The tester said I should have never let him through because I had the right way and had there been someone behind me I could have caused a big accident. I was just trying to be considerate of the driver that had obviously made an error but that nearly cost me getting my license.
By the way, some of the aggressive German driving you described is actually illegal. Interesting video. Stay safe.
The British may not beat around the bush as much as Americans do but they are generally also very polite ands would never be as direct as Germans are. I will never forget my first experience of real German directness, I went on a weekend trip with a new friend. We shared a room, and after blow drying my hair in the morning i said something along the lines of “ I don’t know why I bother, it’s just going to frizz up again soon” she then responded, “I don’t know why you bother either” I was totally flabbergasted and felt really hurt. Later I realised that there was absolutely no malice, she was simply acknowledging the truth that my hair is frizzy and not likely to stay smooth all day in the damp weather.
I think there is some difference when in comes to being direct amongst Northeasterners like people in the NY Metro area vis-a-vis Westerners and Southerners. The sweet and proper style of non-New Yorkers are often seen as being too politically correct to be sincere. In other words, NY area people always wonder about the sincerity of people who cannot be honest and direct, and there is always a degree of mistrust for people who give extra value to being nice and proper because they tend to sacrifice sincerity and honesty. In that regard, the German directness is better understood and easily more welcomed amongst NY/NJ area residents. As a Filipino immigrant who has lived in the NY area for most of my life, this can be a problem when dealing with Filipinos on social media as we can easily be misconstrued for being rude rather than being honest and forthright... Keep on going with your vlogs. I never followed a youtuber based in Germany until I stumbled upon your videos. I think your perspective is an important and interesting one. I enjoy tagging along in this journey that you have taken.
As you have mentioned several time about "Americans" beating around the bush, I think that depends on what part of the country you are in. In Chicago, people are often direct and let their "yes" be yes and "no" be no. I think it comes from so many immigrant cultures trying co-exist that everyone is sensitive (possibly overly) about how someone else perceives what is said.
I was very surprised that "staring" wasn't in the list.
Because it’s more of an Asian thing
@Ericson578 do we ask how much people make? I don't think we do, there's still a huge "don't talk about money" culture in Germany, that's my impression at least
We noticed these things in Germany, also. On the flip side, many Germans felt very sorry for the clueless Americans and were quick to jump in and help us. It made visiting there very easy.
Get well soon, Nalf!
Hehehe great video! You should visit Norway and tell us how that is different. I feel a lot of the stuff you talk about between German and the US is very similar to me as a Norwegian. I have pissed of American friends and strangers so many times on my Nordic directness. I am sorry! I cannot help it. I feel like I am being super polite and nice by being honest! To me being honest is the pretty much the same as being polite, because there is nothing more rude IMHO than telling fat lies into people's faces. If you are a friend, you friend needs to know that you are telling the truth. If I say I love their cooking, then they need to know that I really did and it is not just some bullshit.
I really cannot figure out how Americans can go through life with so much superficial stuff. I have come to terms with it over the years. But I found it very hard when I lived in the US. I eventually left, because I could not deal with it. I felt like nobody was ever truthful. It was always this fake gloss on everything. Nobody was open about how they truly felt about anything. Or at least it was very hard to tell when they where being truthful and when they where just dispensing with pleasantries.
I have this terrible feeling that I may have overstayed at my American relatives because I could not properly read when their invitations was not entirely sincere.
I have an American friend in Norway who on occasion blow up in my face. It honestly feels like walking on needles at times. I have no idea what will set him off. I have tried to get him to be more open an talk about stuff, so we don't get nasty surprises. I think he sorts of gets it but he kind of vents with frustration that he think us Norwegians think it is possible to talk about anything, but he doesn't think it is that easy. I guess we are all somewhat handicapped by our own culture. I try to do my best. But it goes against every bone in my body to tell a lie to say something pleasant. I always try to simply not saying anything about the matter if I know people are not going to like it or I try to sugarcoat my opinion as much as possible without actually changing it.
@Daniel Zhang That depends on the European. Europe isn't one culture. That is quite a lot of variation. I would say the blunt culture is Germanic, so you'll find it in Nordic countries, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria and likely Switzerland and parts of Belgium.
On the British isles it is much more like America. In the UK or Ireland it is much more important to be polite in the American sense. Actually I would say much more so.
Southern Europe is a bit different. I don't know exactly how to categorize them, but they are not blunt the way Germanic people are.
Then you got a lot of the Eastern Europeans who are blunt in a way that I think us Germanic people would frequently find rude. We try to sugarcoat. But there seems to be no sugarcoating in a lot of Eastern European countries.
Americans actually remind me a lot of Southern Europeans. In America people are very friendly and warm to each other but they can get really angry and nasty with each other too, screaming insults. That is a bit like Southern Europe too.
In Nordic countries in particular getting visibly angry and screaming insults is not tolerated. I have had to try to educate American colleagues on this. Some seem to think you get taken more serious if you show anger. I have to explain that in Norway you have lost the entire discussion if you display anger and get mean.
Actually I had to lecture my French boss in Norway on this once. He lost his temper, and I had to scold him for not keeping his composure.
Honestly, we are direct and I like it that way, but we also call rude interactions what they are: "rude" and not "being direct". Telling you that you need to do better because you're American is just plain rude.
However, I feel like saying that you'd meet up with somebody with no intention of doing so soulds like the definition of outright deliberate lying to me and I'd most definitely also categerorize it as rude. For Germans, it's probably worse because it's also deceptive, while telling you that you need to do better is overtly offensive, but at least upfront and you know where you stand.
I think the American thing is because on his team, Americans are the ones that are paid and are experienced so it makes sense lol
You clearly were never part of competitve sports teams.It is completely normal that your extended team including people identifying with your team tell you right away how they perceived your performance and they are ususally right.
Es klingelt. Ein junger Mann steht draußen. "Guten Tag Herr Fischer, darf ich mit ihrer Tochter fischen gehen"? " Ich heiße nicht Fischer, junger Mann, ich heiße Vogel " ! " Ach ja - ich wollte nicht so direkt sein " !
😁
I wanted to write something like “yeah, I don't like aggressive driving either“, but then remembered that I honk right away when someone seems to have missed that the light turned green. 😅 Not aggressively, just a notification, because the traffic needs to continue and the later you start driving the less cars will be able to cross and the more cars will have to wait for the next green light.
@Frank Sennholz I love the way you have written the horn sounds 😂 also it definitly makes a difference. I feel really bad when I do an alert but I accidentally make it sound more like I'm annoyed by not being crisp enough with it! I always wish I could apologise haha
ich lass nur den Motor heulen, das reicht meistens auch
(From US) Particularly today when the person is probably busy reading texts or worse texting, or looking at Facebook or something.
Oh well, but is it really so important? I mean, it's a matter of seconds, not hours. My car is very slow and I'm not a good driver. I hate it when people honk at me at the traffic lights because it makes me nervous, which makes it very probable that I'll stall the engine. Then you lose even more time because I have to start the car again.
@@roesi1985 Get an automatic trans car, and up your driving game in general.
Sorry to hear about your calf flare up. Gute Besserung. Your points are well put. I have lived so long in Germany that ...
1. When I go back to the States, people think that I am rude for arguing about political policy. But come on! A little debate is good for exercizing the brain.
2. When I am behind someone at a red light, who apparently has missed the turning of the signal to green, I do give a light tap of the horn to „wake“ them up. I am thankful, when someone gives me a beep, too, in case I was daydreaming.
3. I am still irritated by the waiting in line culture in Germany and I will tell people to back off, if they are too close. Also, I love how Americans will typically say, I think you were first, whereas some Germans will try to wiggle their way to the front of the line, with no regard for „whose turn was it.“
At the end of the day, I do try to adapt to the situation and cultural norms in Germany. That being said, I should try to cool my jets behind the steering wheel.
In the UK people queue for the bus before it's even there. In NYC we mush in, but in an orderly fashion. I think in China everyone pushes and shoves. Many times my non-NYC sister comments on me bumping someone on the subway that I didn't even notice. It happens to everyone all the time. When everyone is wearing a down coat in the winter the people getting off the subway can just mush and slip through the people getting on at the same time. It's very efficient.
So there are really people who are thankful for being honked at? Mindblowing. I'm German and I HATE it.
I think you're definitely right that those behaviors are considered "rude" in the US.
I've been to the US myself and I was especially confused about the "fake plans" they made at first haha
Something like that would just never happen in Germany😄
But it's so interesting to see different cultural behaviors from people, I mean they grew up like this so they don't know a different way.
So nice video!👌🏻
Oh and Gute Besserung with your calf😁
So funny, my German husband would accuse me, a Texan, of “dancing around the soup.” 😆😆😆😆
Hmm, not sure if it's just a standalone or rare case, but when I was walking alone on a quiet street in Ohio, some random woman walked towards me and said, "Sir, what are you doing wandering around", I said I was just taking a scroll and I'm a tourist, then she asked me to leave because it was her neighbourhood and my presence made her uncomfortable, I was like okay, I don't want any trouble, I'm leaving. And she silently followed me for at least 5 minutes before she turned back.
i was then under the impression that Americans aren't shy of being direct
That is what we would call a "Karen" haha
When I did a road trip in the states with two friends of mine we didn't have much money so we slept in the car some nights. We really tried to find parking places to spend the night where we didn't bother anyone yet still we were chased away by the police two times. They checked our IDs and after we explained ourselves they were quite friendly yet we still had to leave since we were reported suspicious people.
The third time some huge truck came near our car in the middle of the night, honking and flashing the head light. When one friend of mine got out of our car and tried to walk to the truck to speak to the driver he qickly drove backwards to gain distance and continued the honking and flashing. We didn't want any trouble so we drove away. The guy in the truck followed us for about 30 miles to make sure we left the area. That was pretty creepy.
But I guess we had to be thankful for not getting shot at. Still these people seemed a bit paranoid to me, since in Germany noone gives a damn about some parking car anywhere.
It sounds like that woman didn't want any "outsiders" in her neighborhood. In other words, she sounds afraid of (or prejudiced against) people who are not exactly like her. She could be a racist or a xenophobe.
@@melindar.fischer5106
Or maybe she just had had some bad experiences that made her fearful and anxious.
I wouldn't be so quick with judging people and throwing critters like 'racist' and 'so-and-so-phobic' at them.
@@nahte8626 Not funny. At all.
Nice cut and cool video, thx for sharing.
As a German IT Manager in California I struggle so hard with how to address criticism and how to make people to do better. I try to not offend my team or my boss but this is almost not possible. Timelines are almost never met and my boss is like ... Awesome job, you all did wonderful ... I'm like ... No we didn't, this was okay at maximum. Especially in corona times when efficiency is dropping significantly and everybody is so busy with Schulterklopfen. You have to pick your fights and I try to adjust, but this is a major difference in cultural behavior.
As an American fairly new to living in Germany, I’d agree these behavior differences stood out to me as well. Although, “staring” was probably the most glaring behavior difference between the two cultures that stood out the most to me.
Your tv setup is da bomb! 😅
I enjoy your view on Germany, having lived in both countries I can certainly relate to that. Especially the first point was something I had to get used to in the first few weeks in the US... and it actually got me in trouble! Funny, that despite globalisation, world wide web and cultural exchange there are so many differing habits from one country to another...
about honking at the green traffic light:
I think, we germans just want you to notice it´s green and it is also just a kind of directness americans may find rude.
why is there a short phase with yellow between red and green (in germany) if not to prepare to go as soon as the traffic lights turn green? there once even was a debate whether to abolish that phase to avoid jumpstarts. don't be surprised when people expect you to at least start quickly on green without any(!) delay ... such delays can also be seen as rude behavior, causing you to miss that greenphase.
btw: *_legally,_* honking is not allowed since it is not endangering you, but only somewhat annoying (unless that car starts rolling back)
It is more aggressive than just notifying the driver the light has changed color. I know this as the car that honked, generally aggressively passes the car as soon as possible. I grew up driving in Massachusetts and German drivers are more skilled, yet have much less patience for others on the road.
You'll find the same behaviour in the US, especially in big city traffic. (In Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels, the "New York Second" is described as the shortest possible measurement of time, Standardised as the time between the lights turning green and the taxi behind you honking)
@@jhdix6731
You're absolutely right. I have NYC roots and realize that you have ⅛ of a second to react to a green light there, or you're gonna Get the 🐃 horn, even if you're in front of a Prius that's being driven by a ninety-year-old Nun!!
So as a german I can tell you that "Hey, you're an American, you need to do better" is a german way of a friendly tease. Let me explain that: We combine our low level german humor, our directness and our urge to tell the truth in a socially acceptable way. If you are with friends in germany you tease each other all the time and its fun because you just can be real through this little trick instead of faking it like much americans do (at least those I met). So if you are in a friendly environment here and someone is rude its just our friendly-teasing-manner that we use to lift of pressure of the situation and cheer up the mood. Often people also talk rude about themself and crack a joke on their own cost. Might sound weird, but it works and germans I know are the most direct, honest and friendly people you could ever meet. No faking, no beating around the bush, just humans beeing nice and honest with no bad intentions whatsoever.
So if someone you know is rude to you in germany its in 99% of the cases ment as a joke.
its rude, its like an american saying "hey did your opa fight for hitler?" no one wants to talk politics with strangers and have to defend their country. The country that kind of saved you from being split up as the rest of Europe would have seen fit.
LOL, great observations, and largely true, just one thing I'd like to mention - when you have someone come up behind you on the Autobahn, even in the furthest left lane who flashes their lights at you from behind (often combined with not deccelarating appropriately and coming up behind you uncomfortably close - yes, I realize, the irony) to get you to drive faster or move over to the middle or right lane, that's straight up harrassment and if that driver gets caught - which is very difficult to do I admit, but there are police helicopters out patroling for exactly that thing, you can get a hefty fine and, depending on the severity of the case, it's considered reckless endangerment and you get your license revoked for a time and might have to do anger management classes. So, while overall driving culture might be a bit more agressive and corrective without that being considered exeptionally rude, that kinda behaviour is douchebag 101 and shouldn't be accepted even on German streets.
Yup, hate these kinds of drivers -_- Nötigung at its finest, and so unnecessary.
I think the shorter distance in lines is also because most of our grocery stores are a lot smaller than the typical American stores, so there is no physical way to increase the distance without leading a line through the whole shop.
I like your tv stand 😀
Das "Sideboard" wäre mir mehr als nur peinlich... 🙄
The TV-Stand is awful.
The personal space thing in Germany's quite the opposite from, say, Finland and Sweden, where you stand 20 feet from people at the bus stop and shove yourself against the wall when you pass someone in the corridor in your apartment building. And in Estonia, drivers will practically run into another car before they'll think of touching their auto horns.
So, your friend cut somebody off and the other guy chased him, wanna fight? That is not normal.
That really happens here. Some guy thought I did something wrong to him, I have no idea what it was, and chased me around for a while. I was going to lead him to a police station but fortunately I lost him, I was driving a German car! I bought a used Audi TT last year and it’s a little rocket 🚀
I thought that only happens in Russia😂😂. Dash cam videos tell you.
magick..learn to create with purpose I’ve also heard that it happens in Russia. Despite history, Germans and Russians must be personally simpatico.
In my Principles of International Management class I learned that the perception of acceptable physical closeness is very different from country to country. However, I also learned that the German culture is typically more comfortable with larger distances than the US. Your perception surprised me because when I lived in the states I always felt uncomfortable when the person at Walmart greeted me right at the entrance and came real close (one of the many reasons why Walmart failed to be successful in Germany)
Watch out for health - do not overdue it straight away! & Nick you are right... Sorry I forgot the rest of the sentence....
I am a German living in Central America. In my circle of friends I am notorious for saying yes when I mean yes and saying no when I mean no. And when asked for my opinion, ppl will get a damned honest answer. You know what? People love me here because they know what I stand for.
Well, thats exactly the character which made Independence from the Brits happen in the first place.
The Ethnic majority in the fight against slavery and for independence of the USA was Germany.
Up to 38% of US Literature was German, thats was the majority.
Before outbreak of World War 1 the cleansing of German history, art and literature started taking place.
It reduced it to 0-%.
Not to forget the lynchings of Germans, forcing to change names and forced to quit to speak German.
Oh, and the concentration camps. The annexing of Farms and Businesses. The Deportation of Germans who have been there since before the Revolution. Germans who have build America have been hunted down nationwide.
Same took place in the eastern regions of central Europe before outbreak of WW 1.
Have you heard of the German Belt in US America ?
Or the Revolutionary Battle of Germantown ?
Germantown 1688 ? Pennsylvania ?
Did you visit the Germania Building in Milwaukee ?
US America is so full of German origin its insane. Yet, it is forgotten and not recognized anymore.
Amazing how much a Nation can erase within 100 Years. A whole history has been wiped out.
I think saying "Oh yes, we should totally hang out!" while thinking "That is a weird ass person" behind someones back is much more rude than politely declining. Just my german opinion though :P
I find everything you say 100% accurate and perfect cuz I'm from the PNW and we seem to experience Germany the same way. LOVE Portlandia! Like so many of your videos, you are "Correct as usual, King Nalf".
3 years ago I met a very nice Lady from Kentucky during my holiday in Nice. She was a bit lost and I showed her around. We had a very nice afternoon together and she told me the story of her life. The next day she wanted to fly to Hungary. When we said goodbye, she invited me to visit her in Kentucky. Now I'm confused: Was this just american politeness or did she mean it?
I mean, if she didn't hand you any contact info she probably was just being polite.
American politeness: a way of thanking you for the pleasure of your company.
@@mojojim6458 American hypocrisy: Not only thanking her - but also inviting her to visit me in my home in Kentucky with the intention, to hopefully never ever see that "kind" person again! 💩💩💩
Nick, come to Connecticut. Aggressive driving like Boston, but most of us(before covid 19) stand about 2 feet apart. Would be nice to hear your comments comparing East vs West coast habits.
They get so close that when paying by card, you have to turn the card machine around so they don't see your pin 😅 (very uncomfortable)
I noticed this after a couple of weeks living in Germany!
I simply leave my cart behind me so no one can get all that close. Lol
However, I do get some stares sometimes when I distance myself from the person in front of me. Oh well.
I once asked an old lady who was standing way too close if she wanted to enter the pin😂
@@hovawartfreunde4599 Das muss ich mir merken! 😂
use cash
@NRG 2000 she was a bit flustered and stepped back. I don't think she even realized how close she was until I talked to her
People in St. Louis usually honk pretty quickly if you miss a green, but not always.
I remember visiting DC about 20 years ago, and people would honk INSTANTLY, sometimes while the person in front was actually in motion.
Hey Nalf, are you driving around the block all the time? You always turn left.
we have a few problems with "right" in germany... he just adapts ;)
Last year I sat next to a couple from Michigan in a plane. We came along just great and had fun during the flight & exchanged emails. They even showed me pictures of one of her son's who was single and stuff like that.
I forgot about it a few weeks but ended up writing her eventually.
This was in November, never got an answer.
Kinda sad since they were probably the best "seat neighbors" you can have :D
Sehr traurig...
Being direct is not something rude in itself. Its the way people formulate the message and the way they pass it over. For ex. that guy could have told you "Hey, you were not really that good today. But its OK, you just came here, takes some time to adjust. I'm sure you will get better in the future." This has a totally different sound to it although it gives the same core message over. The problem is never in what you say, its how you say it.
I agree with you. I am Hungarian, but I also lived in Ireland and England as well, and now I am in Germany. I am also an honest and direct person, but in a polite way. I don't wanna change, but because I am staying here for a while, I have to get stronger or so. Also as a I see, when Germans have got problem they don't say: can I talk to you? No... Make it face to face 1 in 1? No... Front of every one and be sure everyone hears it. I can not deal with that.
What you Oregon's think about driving in Washington state? I felt that pretty much like in Germany, yes on interstate a bit slower (around 80mph), but still usually about 10mph over limit everywhere
I always found it weird or kind of rude when I had a smalltalk ish conversation with americans sometimes they turned around and left while they were still talking to me.
This is something you would never experience in Germany
I just found your Channel. Its so nice and im learning a lot about the germans and americans as a German.
Because i see you so often in sweat pants. Do you know what Karl Lagerfeld said about wearing sweat pant if not doing sports? He said " Wer Jogginghosen trägt hat die Kontrolle über sein Leben verloren". Poor Nalf ;-)
Germans let you know if you made a mistake - but they don't escalate it any further because there's no reason to.
It's amusing to me that germans are considered "rude" and aggressive - while somehow the only appropriate reaction an american knows for unfamiliar social situations is immediate aggression to the max.
Like why do a lot off misunderstandings or wrong behaviour in traffic - somehow immediately end up in road rage? Shoot first - ask questions later.
Or why would I even think to aggressively verbally attack someone if he gets to close to me - if I also have the option to politely tell them to keep distance because I feel uncomfortable?
Sounds WAY more aggressive to me. Like if 'mericans never got really rid of that Wild West culture. Survival of the fittest.
Explains also why a lot of them fetishize their guns so much to a religiously point. I guess that's tied to the religion influenced exceptionalism.
I'll take being "rude" and honest - but also civil - anyday over "polite" on the surface - but super-aggressive when boundaries are only lightly crossed.... knowing that getting shot by my fellow citizens isn't "a thing" in europe is quite comforting. I can deal with a bit of cursing in a real dispute way better...
Killing people over bad driving is crazy but I do understand why people get angry, because bad driving puts your life in danger. You definitely have a point though especially about guns, it’s as if they’re not just for “protection” it’s like a religion and they worship their guns
What really irritates me (based on second sources - no personal experience - but it's coming from americans) is how irresponsible US Drivers seem to be. Texting while driving seems to be a regular thing in the US. Like traffic seems to be too boring otherwise. I guess the automatic gear is to blame???I don't know man. When old-school mobile phones in general became a thing.... even in germany a lot of people texted while driving... BUT it started to become a problem immediately- so the laws where adjusted and know it's a hefty fine and even up to a month driving ban.So almost no one uses them while driving anymore. Even just holding it your hand while driving can be punished. And you can always use a hands-free System in your car.Also german drivers in general seem to be more attentive - because we have to. Denser cities - more traffic - narrower highways with higher speed limits. But people still make mistakes and there's the occasional dispute - but nothing even comparable the all those road rage Clips I've seen on RUclips.This is next-level-sh!t in the US. It's just.... holy smokes.... why would anyone immediately switch to ass-whopping and even more extreme measures?People are always on the edge it seems..... I don't know..... it's just the whole culture of conflict resolving is very different than ours...... maybe it's just my bias - but I like the german way a lot better...Can we come across as impolite or blunt sometimes.... definitely yes. We like to be direct - no fluff talk beating around a bush.But rude to me is a step above beeing impolite - that to me is impoliteness with intent.And that is far less of a thing in germany. And nowhere as aggressive as americans can be.It also shows how different our approach is to the US one in situations where the police is involved.Police brutality is not much of a thing in Germany. Actually their main objective in any Situation is DE-ESCALATION first as much as possible. Not so in the US. Still our crime numbers look way better than the stats in the US. One might think..... what are those millions of guns good for - if they can't protect when actually neccessary? Funny how one can feel much safer WITHOUT any guns around..... and I've served the army - I know what guns in the wrong hands can cause. There millions of People in the US who shouldn't have guns in the first place....... but what can you could about it other than change "god-given" laws... right?
As an Ami in Germany, I have a problem with directness when I'm not asking for their opinion. For example, I bought a cordless vacuum cleaner. My German brother-in-law comes over and is using it and says in German, "I don't think you should have bought it." I should have told him, thanks for your opinion which I didn't ask for.
Im a german and have told lots of people at grocery store lines to back off. such a weird thing
Kudos for that MacGiver-esque TV stand in your room... amazing engineering skills. Looking forward to a diy tutorial. :)
That is the TV we used to see in the common room in Nalf's and Rudy's apartment. The two of them played a computer game on it, and the winner...Nalf...got to keep it in his room for a week. The loser can't watch TV for a week. At the end of the week, they return the TV to the common room and play another computer game to see who gets to keep it for the next week.
@@mojojim6458 That sounds kind of fun but also kind of sad. And definitely like something only men can think of, haha. :P But still that stand is genious.
@@junowood5951 This is what happens when two competitive athletes are locked up together for too long.
The thing is that in Germany when someone is being roundabout and beating around the bush, it's not considered as real (at least from my experience). Being roundabout is like signaling "I don't really like this but if you continue, I won't say anything", so if you really don't like something you have to be straight with someone. While a friend might take the time trying to decipher your words, a stranger won't.
I think in general, honesty is a big part of German culture.
The honking at people sleeping at traffic lights is actually more like a wake up call than an aggressive action. How else will you notify the people that they are blocking traffic?
I am wondering one thing (apart from where my other comment went… ;-)): How *DO* Americans make actual plans for meeting up, hangin' out, etc?
When spontaneous, you never have to wonder. If it's planning ahead, you figure it out eventually. Lol
they sign a contract If yo udo not show up than you get sued XD
We only meet up/make plans if we really know someone or there is a strong connection. It is usually a sense.
Telling someone we should chill actually means, that somewhere down the line, we may actually get to that point. Definitely not somthing that is rushed or forced upon.
I remember teaching English to foreign students in Australia, I ended up teaching them that if someone asks "How are you?" just once, it's just part of the greeting ritual. They don't care how you are; just give a positive answer (or a negative negative answer like "not bad" or "can't complain"). If someone actually wants to know how you are, they will ask again with different phrasing and/or intonation.
@@demidron. So you teached them to lie. That's strange.
I can't imagine that in a city like New York people keep the same distance in a line as in a small town.
Du wirst doch auch langsam zum Deutschen Rennfahrer... 😀
Und in Amerika würde ich auch nicht jedem zu nahe kommen. Da hat ja jeder ne Wumme... 😂
Bullshit woher hast Du denn die Info
@@steffenrosmus1864 In den USA ist die Quote 120 Waffen pro 100 Einwohner, im Schnitt als 1,2 Waffen pro Einwohner. Offensichtlich besitzen manche mehr und manche weniger, aber so weit her geholt ist es jetzt nicht wenn es mehr Handfeuerwaffen in Privatbesitz als Menschen gibt.
As an Italian who had lived in Germany for a while I agree: I never noticed them standing too close in grocery stores, though I had issues with the other 2... 😅
The line must be efficient! Just kidding, it's weird I have never thought about this, because otherwise germans aren't known for this at all and it makes many people uncomfortable. But I guess it's different when in a line.
Driving crazy...?Nalf auf der Suche nach Butterbretzeln an einem Feiertag?
I lived in Germany for 10 years. I now live in Australia. The Germans are SO unfriendly I hated it-- but they are very honest and open-minded.