Yes, you need to ask the owner of the dog first before you can pet it. That's actually really important, because you don't know if the dog for example is traumatized and can't handle it or if it's for example a service dog. If the service dog is working, petting the dog can disturb them. So it's not really a rude thing we do, but something we learn as a child, because it's important.
I find this idea a little overbearing, I can understand it changes depending on the context. For example, it certainly applies more when the dog is together with the owner. But, if it is alone, tied up, or running around a park - I would certainly never hesitate to relate to it. Maybe I am just more confident with dogs and can read their behaviour than the average person.
The issue with strangers petting dogs without asking is that you never know if the cute little dog is as friendly as it looks and on the other hand not every stranger who comes up to your dog actually knows how to act around dogs. They are not stuffed animals. My family's first dog was treated badly as a puppy and was aggressive towards strange men. If a child wanted to pet him (most children learn from their parents to ask), we let him sit and the kid could pet him, we would do some tricks and give him treats. That always worked great. Now our new dog is a rescue dog and is afraid of everything. Loud cars, bikes, strangers, other dogs he doesn't know yet, and children are especially scary to him. We don't know if he just doesn't know what to do because he was born in a shelter and spent his first year there, or if he has bad experiences with kids who visited the shelter. Of course we encounter people on walk. Most times we step to the side to let them pass and they are very respectful. It is obvious to most that our dog is scared. But he gets braver each day. I just wanted to give you some examples from my experience. TL;DR don't just go up to the puppy, address the owner first and ask if you can pet the dog. Maybe ask how old he/she is or what breed. Most dog owners love to talk about their pets, just ask the human first ;)
Being a dog owner myself I can only second the advice: "Ask the dog owner first." We love people loving dogs and totaly understand the whish to pet them. But especially young dogs have to learn about interaction with strangers. Not each human likes dogs and some are already afraid if they just see a dog approaching. We have to deal with them as well. Our young dog loves humans and she easily gets hyped up when strangers start showing affection to her. She looks for that affection with the next people showing up, in the worst case causing fear because this human doesnt want being center of attention of a dog, whatever reason for. To make things easier, we like to be in control of the "first contact process". So just ask the owner first. That helps a lot.
One sentence is the explanation: dogs are bred in labs by the elites. All dogs have a gene and DNA from other animals. ( MAG BITTER TRUTH, MAG DISTURBING TRUTH...). Watch the truth channels.
About petting dogs: it's not just the Germans who find that rude. I'm Dutch, and we think the same way. Always ask the owner if they are okay with you petting their dog.
It's a bit situational for me. If the dog is on a leash and the owner close i'd ask. If the dog is running around me and sniffing, wagging his tail, "trying to make conversation" i try to make eye contact with the owner if available and ask. if there is no owner in sight i let the dog decide ;)
Ohh really? I live in South Limburg (still part of the Netherlands, just not culturally), and here it's totally fine if you pet another person's dog without asking in public; most if the time the owner will even smile and wait until you're done petting their dog. At least, in my experience. But (south) Limburgians tend to be a bit more friendly/open to strangers anyway, especially if you speak in Limburgian:)
Don't think that it is specific to a nation but to the dog owners. I am German and I will talk to the dog and try to pet them. Just don't try to pet the dog with force. Many dogs will show interest and and come to you and let you pet them. If they don't, let them be. And say hallo to the dog owner too. It is of course rude to talk only to the dog. I made positive experience with that and most dog owners are OK with that.
I had a very goofy dog, he was a big boy and even police officer’s, I crossed ways with used to back of a little by his appearance. He was cute too but his height was scary for some people. People didn’t even think about petting him. But some had the courage to pet him, they asked me first and I always told them „no” because he was protective of me too, if someone would’ve reached a hand in my direction… boy.. he would’ve growled and show his teeth. If someone would have touched him without asking he would’ve bite
I am Australian and I would never dream of being late for appointments, especially not doctors‘ appointments or other professionals‘ appointments. It‘s a matter of respect. You are acknowledging that they have other things to do with their time. Actually, I am always on time when I meet up with my friends too. It‘s respecting that other people have other things to do with their time. 😊
And being late for a job interview can cost you the chances of getting it in the first place. Not just in germany, I've heard about this from different countries as well, so never be late for anything official. When it comes to meeting with friends or family, i myself usually just say a rough time span of about half an hour(or more if necessary) when i probably will arrive, yet i usually try to arrive at the beginning of the time span, but it always depends on traffic conditions when i really arrive. Just for example: on friday i have an appointment for blood donation at 10:15. It can and will take an unknown amount of time to get done with it, because there are variables like how many other people are there this early; after that i will go to a shop in the centre of the city to spent an unknown amount of time browsing the goods for a special thing i am looking for; and following that i will visit my parents. so when will i arrive at my parent's place exactly? i don't know and there is now way to tell for sure. roughly estimated between 11:30 and 13:00.
If you don‘t want to see something, you can turn your head or close your eyes, but you can not „close“ your ears if you do not want listen to other peoples conversations or phone calls if you are in a bus or train.
Re dog-petting: If the dog bites you for any reason (whether provoked or not), the owner is liable for the dog's behaviour and could be sued for damages.
Right. I live near the US Airbase Wiesbaden I offen observe US citizens who talk as loud in the S-Bahn (or orher public places) that they also entertain the next coach. I am not sure if they are aware of the fact that most Germans understand what they are talking about. I doubt that they are aware of that. The subjects are often too private to be discussed in public.
Addition: Asking someone how they are and then walking off on them. I know it's a thing. I know it's not an actual question in English. I know it's considered friendly but I just can't get over it. I've spent a year in England and 3 months in Australia. It felt rude. Every. Single. Time.
It's an interesting one is this one, as I live in UK and people say "you're alright?" as a kind of greeting. It's not a question so much as a greeting and it's something that I've seen happening more and more over the years. I'm 45 and people never asked "you're alright?" as a greeting back when i was young, but it's everywhere now. I don't mind it as I guess I'm used to it, but I'll bear that in mind next time I go to Germany.
This is kind of a hard one cause I live in the UK (am originally from Austria) and even the ppl here disagree on whether “how are you?” requires an answer or not but I’ve found in general that if you provide one (which I always do), it’s not considered too odd, just sometimes there’s not enough of a break to answer 😂 but yeah it kinda varies 😄
@@LouiseFranksArt wait, so "you're alright?" isn't a real question either? My neighbour, (an ex UK soldier stationed in Germany, finding love and stayed forever kind of guy), asks this to me all the time when we meet walking our dogs. And I always stop, think about it, and answer in earnest, talking bout my day, good and bad things that occupied my thoughts that day, but asking in return and getting a "uh, yeah, yeah, I'm a'righ" response. Wether it was rainy or sunny, if his arm was broken, his kid has graduated or his dog just died. Every single time. I always thought him just being very private and didn't like to talk too much about himself. Always wondered why he was asking when he obviously seemend in a hurry 🙄
Bei Hunden ist es eher so, dass diese durch die Erziehung auf eine Bezugsperson koordiniert werden und eigentlich die Erlaubnis des Herrchen abwarten sollen, bevor sie sich mit Fremden einlassen. Die sind dann meist verwirrt und wissen nicht, was sie machen sollen. Einfach den Besitzer fragen, die meisten erlauben das Streicheln. Dann weiß man auch, ob der Hund das will.
Chicken wings and chicken legs are okay to eat with your hands.And fries in a fast food place. But don’t lick your fingers, use the napkin. And if you realize you’re going to be late: give a call.
I wish Germans could understand that being early is as rude as being late. I am talking about 20-30 minutes early, it happens to me all the time. I've given myself enough time to prepare for guests and then I'll be stepping out of the shower and the doorbell will ring. Recently I was 15 minutes early to someone's house and I waited in my car around the corner. Somehow being punctual has become "late."
Originally, it was considered correct to show up 15 minutes late (but not more!) to an invitation in a private home, especially for "Kaffe und Kuchen" so you would not surprise your host while still being busy.
My parents always show up 15 minutes too early. That's why they will be invited 15 minutes later than all others... ;-D I think for a private appointment, here is alway 10 minutest wiggle room. But when I know it's tight, I'll send a text. And nowadays everyone has their phone at the ready, so no excuses. ;-)
I remember reading in the newspaper (USA) that when McDonald’s first opened in Germany, a man was flabbergasted when he got his hamburger with no flatware. He said “What am I suppose to do with this? Eat with my hands?!!!”
Please don't adapt. We need more friendliness and openness. Just be a New Zealander in Germany. That's not rude, it enriches us. But be punctual - this is a matter of respect.
Yeah especially these days, where I can't stand my fellow German's overt rudeness for miniscule things. I mean, I get it, we're all having a bad time right now, but it could also be a lot worse here (see Brazil or India, i.e.). Don't vent your frustrations on your fellow citizens. We definitely need more friendliness; uplifting each other instead of bringing others down.
From a german dog owner's perspective there is only one major reasons why i don't like other people petting my dog without asking for permission first. As it was said before, it is a question of liability in case the dog might bite or harm others. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to approach a dog correctly, which can then lead to some serious issues. Just to give you an example: My dog, like many other dogs, hates it when people do bend over his head in order to pet him. To him that is just intimidating and as a dog he responds in his way, which would be growling. Which then is considered very often to be a sign of aggression, when it is only the dog's way of communicating that he doesn't like something. He can't speak obviously. When people ask permission first, i can then tell them to not bend over his head but offer their hand for the dog to smell first and get to know you a bit before being touched. After that, he's fine when being petted and loves every minute of it...:-) When i think about it, german dogs are very much like their owners, they need some time to warm up....:-D By the way, the same goes for touching anyone's baby or toddler in a pram or stroller without asking permission in advance.
Exactly. I'm the owner of a white Chihuahua and I don't know how often I have to deal with people who think that going "Ooooh! HoW CutE!" * pad pad pad on the head * was the approriate way to approach a dog... Obviousely the little animal is also a kids-magnet. But children are much more respectful most of the time. When they approach, I use to ask them to hold for a moment, to see if the dog wants to say hello. I then let the dog sit and ask the kid to present their palms. If my dog does not object, I let them ruffle the fur behind the ears and then on the neck and down the back. I also tell them that dogs don't like being petted with the flat hand and especially to on the head. If my dog is not in the mood, I tell the kid exactly that and although sometimes they can be a little disappointed, they usually understand. These little encounters can be great for all involved - in the best case a kid can ruffle a cute dog, the dog gets ruffled by a cute kid, I can live out my 'explaination-bearness' and the parents have a happy kid and someone who interacted nicely with them. Regarding eating with your fingers, as long as you manage to do it in a civil way without slurping, licking your fingers and smearing fat and gravy everywhere it's totally acceptable even in restaurants. If they have a chicken leg on the menu they have to expect people eating it with their hands. After all, picking up an item from your plate, dipping it and then carefully eat it is something completely different than going in with both hands and stuffing fistfulls of food into your mouth.
Teaching a child to ask before petting a dog is so important. my daughter is mentally disabled. she loves dogs and it was a lot of work to get through the 3 steps. 1 - ask, 2- don't stretch out your arm while asking, wait for the answer, 3 -accept the NO. Most kids get the asking, but will bend down to pet the dog while doing so. Accepting the "No, sorry, dog doesn't like strangers" really needs working on. but it is important for safety reasons.
I think its not just the questions... You can ask a German something, they will tell you everything they are comfortable with. Since in Germany it would be very rude to lie, we only ask questions we would also answer honestly ourselves. So don´t ask, if you don´t want to know the story ;) after about 10 Minutes always text or at least apoligise, because the other one waited for you and it just shows that you recognize that
Germans eat in privat certain dishes with hands like for example chicken legs. Very often they avoid to eat them in a office canteens because of the struggle with the cutlery.
I've had dogs for more than 30 years and never found it rude when someone petted them. It can cause problems though. My big dogs were very focussed on me and just didn't like to be approached by strangers and my little Westie was so enthusiastic about everybody's friendliness that she started jumping up at strangers with her dirty paws which wasn't always appreciated . So what I do when I see a dog is ask the owner if it's ok if I pet their dog. Eating with your hands , getting your fingers all greasy or even licking your fingers is just gross - what are you going to touch with them next? Yes, we hate it to be late and I hate it when a guest to my house is late because usually we like to have everything ready on time , the table set, the coffee or dinner fresh and hot and ready to serve. Thank you for sharing your observations, Antoinette !
These are all very astute and correct observations. I nodded my head for each of your five points. And I'm really impressed by how much you know about our culture.
I am German and I adopted stray dog who was often overwhelmed by strangers and would also snap if it was getting too much. Of course I worked with professional dog trainers and tried my best to make him feel comfortable around people, but it was just something he never really got used to. Who knows what he had experienced in the past in Rumania that made him act that way. Anyway, as a dog owner who was trying to train a dog with social issues it was just super hard to have people randomly coming up and patting my dog. You should always ask first as you don’t know what the dog’s personality is like.
1.: Yes, it‘s true. At first we want to have more distance and we don’t like really personal questions, if we are not so close. 2.:I like animals too and I want to cuddle them. But first I ask the owner of the animal, whether if it’s ok to touch the pet 3.: That is correct. It is very annoying, if the people around too loud 4.: I grow up to eat with knife and fork. The only exception was birds. There it was allowed to eat with your hands. But in that case I am not a typical German. Junk food like frites, chicken wings or legs, burger I use my fingers. 5.: Yes, right! To be on time is a very important thing. But it depends which kind of appointment it is. If it’s an official appointment I’ll be earlier, with Friendswood have a saying: The academic quarter, means you can be late until 15min.
I am Polish, but I live in Germany, these things Poles find rude as well. Petting sb's dog is also the matter of responsibility if something bad happens. I hate people being late, hence they don't respect me and my time. Therefore, I am hyper punctual, min 20 Minutes before deadline 🤣 Greetings from Dortmund 🦏
@@bouli3576 When I am a host, I am ready at least 30 Minutes before the party begin. I'm control freak 🤣 ...just a joke. As formal meetings are concerned, one should always be on the dot. But in informal situations, I'm +- 5 minutes earlier.
For me as a German Dogowner, i'd definately say, that i would be really surprised If someone would pet my dog without asking me If the Dog ist friendly. When i was a Kid my Family Always warned me to pet a Dog without asking the owner if i'm allowed & If the Dog it friendly. So i wouldn't be Mad but surprised!
Punctuality. It is simply a basic form of showing respect: If I don't give a f**k about you, I will make you wait. Bc when I don't respect you as a person, why should I bother not wasting your time. From the opposit angle: If I respect you, I for shure don't want to waste your time making you wait. Keep that in mind, and you will know why you get at least a pair of angrily raised eyebrowes if you finally show up half an hour late. Edit: Basicly everyone has a cellphone on hand by now. If you are getting late by accident, just give your appointment a short call. Noone will be giving you crap for being late then.
Native older German here and yes I'm a dog owner for nearly 2 decades now. If a stranger starts petting my dog without asking for permissen I would immediately step back. The reason for that is not really a feeling of rudeness but more my concerns about how my dog will respond. I know this dog now for nearly ten years and I'm sure she is a relaxed dog but in the end, she is a so-called "Kleine Münsterländerin" a breed designed for hunting. But since we have her I could not remember a situation where any stranger started petting my dog without asking for permission. Our first dog was a Golden Retriever and with him, we have encountered several times the situation that strangers petted him without asking first and this is for a dog owner a complicated thing. We got him out of a shelter and did not know his history, so even if he was a very friendly dog, we were never sure if the stranger would trigger any of his weak points. As the dog owner, you are always accountable for the behavior of your pet and strangers should keep in mind that dogs could also be used as weapons. So I would not classify it as rude but as a dump act to pet a dog without the permission of his/her owner.
It's not only rude to just touch somebody else's dog, it's actually potentially dangerous. The dog might look friendly, but you don't know, whether it may bite or be scared or jump at you or move in unexpected ways or might have an illness or fleas or something like that. I know a great dog. He has long fur that looks like it will be nice to touch, but he is very, very protective of his owner and he will bite you, if he thinks you are a threat to the owner. It is just not smart to pet a dog unless you asked the owner whether it is safe to do so.
As you pointed out, feeling sorry for being late is an even bigger thing in Germany. :o) I remember my English teacher in the Oberstufe (last two to three years before graduation): At the time he was teaching in two different buildings which were about 5 running minutes apart and he would often arrive late for class. We didn't mind that very much (what student does?), but he was always mortified and as he came in he would pant, "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Obviously, this earned him his nickname: Dr. Sorry. ;oD As for eating with your fingers, I find this is also a generational thing: I was taught to NEVER eat cooked food other than with a knife and fork. This was one of the skills your parents would make sure you had internalized by the time you went to kindergarten. However, there were certain foods that you were expected to "hold", such as a chicken leg, because THAT was the educated thing to do. To this day I inwardly laugh whenever I see something hacking away with cutlery at a slippery chicken leg. ;o) I have friends who are ten years younger and to them, eating pizza other than with your hands is completely out of the question. They consider using knife and fork in this case to be almost arrogant and certainly laughable. Personally, I will eat fast food with my hands, especially in privacy, but I also enjoy using cutlery. I always feel it gives the process of appreciating a meal a lot more distinction.
To be fair, it depends on the kind of pizza. If it's very thin, soft and dangly with a lot of toppings, I rather use fork&knife. But as long as holding the pizza without dropping half of the stuff doesn't pose a challange, hands are the way to go.
7:35 To be late to a business appointment is considered to be rude. But to be late to a private appointment starts only to be rude if it's more than a quarter of an hour (but to be late to a rendezvous is always rude - for that you should better be a quarter early), and if it's a somewhat bigger party you can even be more than an hour (ore more, depending if it is still going on) late without being rude (in most cases) as long as nobody has to wait for you. Actually it is not the "being late" that makes it rude, but to keep others waiting for you.
In general I don't really mind it if a person wants to pet my dog but they should definitely ask first. My dog is really anxious when she meets new people and you have to approach her in a certain way to gain her trust. Otherwise she could try to bite or snap you
Hi Antoinette, I agree, petting a strangers dog without asking can be risky as you don't know how the dog reacts and a dog's owner is often held responsible if something happens. The next thing eating with the fingers/hands totally depends on the circumstances for example if your in a restaurant eating a pizza it might be deemed inappropriate but being at a Mecca's, KFC or an Imbiss enyoing a Bratwurst - snag it's how ya eat it. What we Germans in Hessen really deem rude is when you enter a room etc or group of people and not saying good morning, g'day .... or saying bye/see ya or good night/till tomorrow when you leave.
Hi, I am from the Netherlands and I wish I was living in Germany or Austria or Switzerland. The dutch people especially the youth are só rude,at a point,that I start to hate being around them. The parents treat there children if they are adults. So,so,so,so,so wrong. In Germany are rules !rules!. Here does everybody (including the children) what they want. Nobody ( well,of course not everybody) does care about somebody else. I hate it here and wish I was born in Germany or Austria or Switserland. There is still (although for how long) respect. Rules are a form of respect. Cherish it please with all of your heart, and keep them alive. It is very hard to live somewhere,where is nó respect anymore. Trust me, I live it,and it is fár from fun!!!
Hello.... I am 52 years old and German... I have never never never in my life been late. I use an earlier bus, plan some time if I can't find a parking place or else. Don't know why, but it is one of the things that never happen since my mother told me (when I was a kid) never to be late. Guests that are late make me angry🤷♀️
As a German who tends to be late from time to time I loooooooved living in New Zealand 😅♥️ now my kiwi husband and I live in Germany n I always stress out as we are often too late bcs of him (not kidding) and everyone thinks I am the reason.... 🙈
German here - very accurate list! :D I've even been to some restaurants where I didn't feel it was appropriate to eat a burger with my hands, so I ate it with knife and fork (even as a German this feels very wrong) 🙈 But I think in most fastfood or italian restaurants, eating with your hands is fine :) Also regarding the lateness thing: I absolutely agree that you mustn't be late to official appointments or meetings with acquaintances as it's considered disrespectful. If I know I'll be more than 10-15 minutes late, I consider it courteous to let the other party know. However with close friends, I feel like you can be more laidback :) I tend to arrange meetings "around" a certain time as well, rather than on the dot. As you mentioned, I feel like a lot of things that are considered rude here only apply when dealing with people that aren't very close to you (at least in my generation - I'm 23). So I guess if you see a German being 'rude' like you described, it's a sign they feel comfortable around you 😂🌻 (maybe those things are considered rude around strangers because they feel obtrusive in a way, like they imply familiarity or something🤔)
I’m an American and have a Yorkshire terrier named Kevin. He’s adorable but is very feisty. I would prefer people to ask to pet him. I don’t want someone getting bit. My parents were from Germany and you are spot on with everything you said. Especially being late.
the points you made are very accurate! eating with your hands is judged depending on the situation, but inside a nicer restaurant where cutlery is available, it is considered inappropriate to eat with your hands. about being late, i'd say it depends on the situation. In your case, with a small child, I wouldn't mind if you were 15 minutes late to the playground, especially if you texted and let me know. however if you were late because you were disorganized or just didn't care leaving early enough, then I might be a little annoyed. any kind of official appointment, you HAVE to be punctual and better be a little early. when you're invited to someone's house it is also polite to ask if you should remove your shoes (especially if they're muddy or wet!)
If we in Germany say, that someone can come around 10 o'clock. It's also okay to come quarter to half an hour later/early. Because you say "around 10". But if you have an DOCTORS appointment or any other meeting (wether it's personal or a professional meeting) it is considered rude. Especially if it's an "official" appointment and not one with a friend. Because e.g. doctors are really busy and if you're not there when you have to, they have to wait for you. And not only the doctor, because if you are 10 minutes late and you start your appointment 10 minutes late I can (to 90%) assure you that the person who has the appointment after you will have to wait the 10 minutes YOU messed up. So it's just in everyones interest that your on time. Because if not your wasting time of other people. And you don't know if others after you have a busy schedule and have to go somewhere else. I had to cancel a doctors appointment at one point, because the person before me was late and I didn't have the time to wait another 10 extra minutes. So I had to schedule a new appointment (which then was 2 weeks later) because of a person who was late. And that just sucks. :/ But if your "only" meeting a friend it's not that big of a deal. Then even germans come 5-10 minutes late and that's totally cool. But still we will apologize if we are late of course, because that is just what we've been taught. If you miscalculated your time the least you can do is apologize. It doesn't cost anything and is just a polite gesture :D
Dear Antoinette, we don't consider it to be rude to pet an unfamiliar dog but dangerous. We teach our kids to ask the owner for permission because not all dogs are friendly. I personally knew a German Shepard, which was mishandled by its former owner. It was afraid, even terrified, of men, esp. men with a hat and a cane. Whereas I could pet the dog the first I met it, my husband needed a good dozen encounters with this dog to earn its trust. And a distant relative of mine had a Dackel who just didn't like children and hated the colour red. So when we visited her, I had to wear clothes in any colour but red and not to bother the dog. In addition, asking for permission gives the owner a chance to explain how to approach a dog in general and their dog in particular. This minimizes the risk of getting bitten by a startled dog. Asking private questions too early is a little bit rude and we might consider you a little weird. But it's something that will be forgotten in a while. Talking (or in our feeling "shouting") in public is very rude. I want a conversation at my table, I don't want to listen to a person's story 3 tables over in a restaurant. Or in the tram, I might want to read a book and not listen to gossip I'm not interested in. My father-in-law once asked a young man on an overnight flight from Taipeh to Frankfurt to lower the volume of his walkman as the music was very loud despite of the in-ear speakers the man used. As the man did not react, he asked a flight attendant to resolve the issue, but the man wouldn't budge. A change of seats was not possible as the flight was fully booked. So he took out his toolbox (he's an engineer), took his side cutter, and cut the cable. He got applause by some of the other guests (and some of the flight attendants). Being late: Pünktlichkeit ist die Höflichkeit der Könige - punctuality is the courtesy of kings. I don't want my time wasted by senselessly waiting for someone to show up, so I do my best not to waste somebody else's time. CU twinmama
As a German I agree in most points. There was so much said about the dog thing (I also teach my daughter to ask before she approaches a dog she doesn't know, as well as every other animal). But I got to say something about the eating thing: there are some foods that are eaten with the fingers in private space, lika fries or pizza or chicken wings, but not in public. I got taught as a child in public or around poeple you don't know well you have to eat with a knive and fork :)
Hänchenkeule und Pitza darf man auch in Deutschland in die Hand nehmen, worauf auch in den deutschen Benimmbüchern - wie z.B. im "Knigge" - deutlich hingewiesen wird! Hänchenkeulen faßt man meistens mit Hilfe einer Papierserviette an, aber auf keinen Fall ist er erlaubt die Finger abzulecken, weder im Gasthaus noch zu Hause, denn dafür ist die Serviette da!
2: I've had strangers' dogs come up to me, one even took my wrist in its mouth, but very carefully - the owner was terrified at first, so I took the dog's action to be as friendly as it appeared to me. Another very friendly dog turned out to be a trained police dog, but since I already had a very friendly encounter with a guard rottweiler it wasn't a big deal. A friendly chat with the dog's owner really helps, and when they recognize you know how to approach dogs it's fine.
That's considered to be very rude in France... thinking of a private appointment for diner, you didn't gave the inviting person (enough) time to prepare... ;-)
@@petereggers7603 exactly. In order to manage (when we lived in Paris) we announced different invitation times to Germans (20:30), English (20:15) & French (20:00) for Italians & Spainards (19:30) :) Another jolt was to ban the usage of English :)
Very interesting video!! I have been to Germany a number of times, and when I'm in a fast food place such as McDonalds, I've seen lots of people eating with their hands. Being timely is one of my ultimate practices. When I came over to the USA from Germany as a child. When my parents brought me here, they were always on time wherever they had to be, I picked that up and considerate rude to be late. A lot depends on the nature of the meeting. If a friend says ill see you at this bar around 5:00, It doesn't"t bother me if they're late. The more formal the occasion, the more rude it is not to be on time. The term Faishonaly late, is by its nature rude.
Well, you do not get a knife and fork in McDonalds to have that option 😄 I think what horrified people in that story was more the finger licking and not making sure the fingers were as clean as possible while eating...
There are occasions when Germans eat with their fingers too, some fries or a sausage in a roll at a take away, Döner Kebab, Burger at McDonalds or even Pizza at home or maybe a pub. If however you eat in a Restaurant, then it is considered bad manners in Germany. Licking fingers is almost always considered bad manners :). I was pretty baffled when I was at a business trip to the US and my boss was taking out the whole team to a quite fancy steak restaurant. One of my female colleagues suddenly said "oh what the heck" and started picking peas from the plate with the fingers since she failed to eat them with a fork. That would get you some looks in a German restaurant :).
I'm german and I must admit I was a bit puzzled about some of your points. As for me I eat with my hands whenever I like, pizza, french fries, whatever I talk to strangers about personal things - perhaps start telling about yourself before asking questions and see how they take it ;) I talk in public about everything I like I pet other people's dogs, but I ask permission - its about interfering with the dogs education and discipline. you dont want your dog to become so excited about strangers that they jump on everyone. I'm punctual and I get mad if others aren't - totally agree this point
2. Don't do that because the dog might as well attack you as a stranger. That's why no German likes that you touch their dog without being asked. How do you know if the dog is not biting you? Because you have to know that in Germany the question arises whether the dog is socially acceptable in public and that in turn comes to the question of whether the dog then has to be put to sleep because it bites other people? And then you are actually responsible for that out of ignorance! This has nothing to do with rude behavior. 3. And yes, the loud behavior of English-speaking foreigners is inappropriate in a society that strictly separates privacy and business and enjoys quiet in public. 4. Eating with hands is left to the young children, that is to say that only small children do. Knigge says: "Anyone who can handle a knife and fork is cultivated." That the Anglo-Saxons are English and the rest of the rest of the colonies are rather uncultivated in this regard. Well, I'll include the Americans there. 5. It is rude and disrespectful to be late for appointments, meals, and other dates. So this is uncultivated behavior.
petting dogs without asking: what do you know about my dog? what if my dog does not like to be touched by strangers and bites you? what if my dog is a rescue and does not like specific kind of people (like quickly running children, men or women) because of bad experiences? who is the person who has to take responsibility when something bad happens? exactly: the dog owner.. it is really not that much of a hassle to just say: "omg your dog is so cute is it ok if i pet it?" or "omg my daughter adores your dog. what is it's name? is it ok if she pets it?" .. also if it is a free running dog in a park somewhere and the dog runs up to you, wags his tail like crazy you can for sure pet it without having a huge conversation.. the fact that the owner decides to let his dog run free should imply that the dog is friendly with strangers and that the owner most likely is easygoing enough to not throw a tantrum if you touch their dog.. you can for sure eat certain foods with just your fingers in germany.. e.g. chicken, no problem at all to eat it with your hands, but licking your fingers? srsly? fast food like burgers.. who eats a burger with knife and fork or a döner? there are lots of fast foods you eat just with your fingers, considering that many german fast foods come in a bun anyways.. but why would i wanna eat a currywurst with just my fingers? pizza: at home eat it however you like, in a small pizza shack it is ok to eat your pizza with your fingers, in a proper restaurant not so much, even tho only the most uptight people would bat an eye if you eat pizza with your fingers.. the more "high class" a restaurant gets the more i would refrain from using just my fingers... so small pizza shack with some wooden counters with people standing around + a few wooden tables: using your fingers ain't a problem.. proper restaurant with a nicely laid table and white table cloth, which probably won't serve the pizza pre-cut anyways: use your cutlery also why would i eat chips and fish with my fingers only and get grease everywhere? no one would eat something with gravy with just their fingers, but when it is dripping with grease it is ok?
In Germany eating with your hands is fine in fast food places and at casual parties but not in formal situations, which includes most restaurants and for example weddings. And obviously the food has to be suitable. Chips, chicken, döner kebab, hamburgers are all fine to eat with your hands, but it gets difficult with eg a currywurst. The problem with eating pizza using your hands is that it needs to be pre-sliced to do that, but pizzas in Germany tend not to come sliced (neither frozen pizza nor pizzas served in restaurants come sliced) so you need to cut them up, so you need cutlery.
I also kind of feel the dog petting without asking first thing. On my way to the vet with public transport a lot of people tried to pet my sick rabbits in their transportation box, knocked against the box and asked noisy questions while I was sick of worry whether they will be fine again or not ....
In France and I think in Germany with high end restaurants serving full course French meals the plate will be surrounded by an awful lot of instruments and tools you will never have seen and you must know which peace of food has to be tackled by which gadget. A friend of mine told me that you have two options. Either do it properly or eat everything with your hands.
Das Essen mit den Finger kommt sehr auf das Lokal an. In einem Feinen Restaurant besser nicht. Bei einem "normalen" Italiener /Pizzariea ist es ok seine Pizza in die Hand zu nehmen. Chikenwings....isst man halt nur in einem Lokal wo man die Finger benutzen kann.
Even in New Zealand now, I tell strangers off if they just come up to pat my dog without asking. One has to be a careful these days with dogs (my dogs are fine btw, or I wouldn't take them out to meet other people). I try and educate kids especially to ask before they start patting and generally in NZ kids will always ask.
Completely agree on most points. The dog situation is particularly important because you never know how a strange dog will react. If you ask first and I know my dog will like it (our dog loves being pet), I'll say "of course" and be happy to meet a person who likes dogs, otherwise I'll explain why that would be a bad idea. Now if you don't ask and just go ahead petting a dog who has some issues, it might be scared and snap at you and the owner would be liable. So I think it's very understandable for dog owners to expect to at least be asked first, and I have a hard time imagining that's just a german thing. About eating with your hands: Personally, I don't see anything rude about that in the slightest. It may go against etiquette, but that and being rude are two completely different things in my book. As long as you don't draw attention to you, are very noisy, make it hard to ignore you or do something disgusting that makes me lose my appetite - in short, as long as you don't bother me directly with the way you eat, I don't think it's any of my business. But I know people have very different opinions there. To me, judging someone who doesn't perfectly follow the proper etiquette is way more rude than doing something Knigge would disapprove of but that doesn't really affect anyone around you.
I live in NZ and I have to say, I have always thought the openness here is just a little too rude and nosey for me. I'm a solo mum and I have had women ask me at parties or at playgroups " so what happened with the father..?" RUDE! They would have only.been speaking to me for 10 mins. I can see how too much of being closed would feel cold too but too much openness is too much. Also, eating everything with cutlery seems a bit much for me. In NZ, I couldn't imagine going to my local Indian restaurant and cutting my naan bread 😂
As a dog owner, all I can say is that even though my dog looks cute, she has her very own ideas about when, where and by whom she wants to be touched. And because my dog is not so good at discussing things, touching her in a way she perceives to be inappropriate might lead to aggressive behaviour in individual cases. And that's where I come in as the owner: I'm liable for that. I have to make sure that no one is harmed by my dog. Apart from that, it can happen that a dog that bites a person is euthanised by order of the authorities - a fate that one would not wish on a family member. Therefore: First ask me (I can tell by looking at my dog whether she is in the right mood or not) and then you cuddle her.
Hi Antoinette, your bright smile in the morning brings out the sun for me! 🤩😎 My neighbour from the flat opposite came back from walking his two dogs one day shortly after he moved in, and one dog is already very old, has a grey muzzle and is already limping slightly (so cute!) and this dog turned around and walked a bit towards me. Despite my allergy, I couldn't help myself, said hello to the neighbour and literally cuddled the dog. The neighbour was also totally irritated and I apologised. He laughed and just said it was unusual, but I had permission at any time if the dog came to me of its own accord. I was taught by my family from an early age to largely avoid eating with my hands in public. Now I don't really care, I eat fries, chicken wings or spare ribs with my fingers - let people look. The only thing I avoid is licking my fingers, I find that quite disgusting myself when someone loudly puts their fingers in their mouth and sucks them off. Being late is really a bad habit that I absolutely hate, I'm very German about it. Anything up to 10 minutes is fine, otherwise everyone has a mobile phone with them and can just let them know they're running late. The chairwoman of the works council (type: old hippie) once made me wait 20 minutes for an appointment at work, then she came walking around the corner laughing with a big coffee cup and two people and said succinctly, "Oh, I needed a coffee refill! Don't be like that!" and I just said "And you're stealing my time, have a nice day!" and left her standing there with her mouth open and complained to her boss afterwards, because I was so upset about that kind of behaviour. Call me rude, but at least she was more punctual afterwards.
I‘m a German dog owner. Everybody loves my dog (you see her in my picture). If there is a problem like Paula defends a ball you can’t touch her. In such a situation I‘d explain to you why it’s not the best time. But in every other situation you can touch her and Paula loves it. But in Germany it’s normal to ask for touching a dog.
I’m Australian and find strangers invading my privacy with too many questions, lateness, eating with hands, patting other peoples dogs without asking and being loud and attention seeking annoying characteristics.
Dear Antoinette Talking about dogs in general and in germany Beeing a dog owner in germany i hate strangers touching my dog unless i give permission. And there are reasons why. First: My dog Maria is used to my body language, my voice, so there is a chance that a voice or a certain behaviour might not fit into her world.Now dogs in general do have a certain "language" to tell humans about her feelings.Like for example: wiggeling her tail does NOT always mean she is friendly. So she will give signals by body language and or sounds. Now if the human is ignoring those signals there is frustation, which can change to agression. As a dog owner i am responsible this doesnt happen. So if someone is just reaching out for her whithout giving her the chance to decide if she really wants this it might cause problems. I usually tell those folks : let her sniff ure hand first, talk gently,and respect her if shes not interrested in u. Its so easy. Do i umbrace any attractive lady???Or do i show respect and be ok if she says NO? So are dogs; they are individuals whith all the feelings, favourites,and are able to live with humans as accepted real partners. So Maria and me we are a pack and someone who is not might be an intruder. Cat people will object, but has anyone heard about a cat risking her live to help a human in need?
5:20 eating with fingers in restaurants is a real no-go, but we have fastfood companies, and there its typical to eat with hands. 7:15... so true, dont be too early, and dont be too late :P 60 secs before official meeting is okay, and 60 secs after is almost too late. Better be there at the exact time xD
Being late, means you waste the time of the person that waits. To pet a foreign dog is uncomfortable for THE owner, because the dog can be on treatment or excise.
About the dog thing, in Germany children often times get tough by their parents that patting a dog you don't know is a no-no because it could be dangerous. When you want to patt a dog you should always ask the owner first
I've always struggled with how in english speaking countries 'Do not pet a working dog!' is a thing people emphasize so much, just because petting any dog is something you simply don't do in Germany. It's rude and intrusive. You don't touch foreign peoples belongings, you don't touch foreign peoples children, why touch their dogs? And you never know if the dog might be aggressive or anxious or in training. Even if the dog is off leash and comes to you, talking to it is fine (like, saying 'Oh, hi cutie!') but petting is not. The only people who sort of get away with this kind of behaviour are very young children, though even they will be getting a talk by their parents or the dogs owner about that and why you have to ask before petting a dog. In general: respect other peoples belongings, respect their personal space, their family and pets, their privacy, their time and especially their freetime and you will most likely not come along as rude. Great video! I agree with every single point you mention.
As German: how are you supposed to eat chicken wings, except with your hands? The privacy thing is easily understandable: one part of Germany had an dictatorship which invaded privacy to the core, the other part had two of those. In the latter even your dad or aunt would spy on you and report you to the authorities.
If food can be eaten with fingers really depends on the community you're in. In my homwtown there's the unwritten rule that everything that once used zu fly (like chicken or something) it can be eaten by using the hands. To eat pizza, burger or fries without tools is also allowed in many communities I'm in. If you're not quiet shure how to behave just wait and watch the others.
i think its pretty weird that u would just go to someones dog and pet them. i mean u dont go to someones baby and just do that, right? im a dog owner and my dog doesnt like to be pet at all. he doesnt care about strangers, he just wants to walk around, sniff and get treats. i hate it when children run up to me and literally harrass my dog and forcefully pet him even tho he just want to be left alone. dogs arent stuffed animals, i think ppl forget that. also, you never know if someones dog bites or is just uncomfortable around other people. at least ask...
Well, I am a german navy officer, travelled quite the world and picked up some habbits from other cultures. So I am more open to other people, regarding the german standards. But there is something to remind you. Germans are quite honest with their opinions. So if you ask certain questions you´ll may get some answers that you find rude aswell. Or receive some questions that are as personal and maybe intimate as yours. ;-) The dog topic is very polarising. We got three dogs. Two little ones, just as pets for our girls. but we have a big one too. A halfbreed between wolf and dog, quite cute and adorable, the kids could even ride on it, or go to sleep using its flanks as a pillow. But no stranger would ever be aloud to touch the girls, if the dog is around. So when we go out for a walk, it´s not safe for others to cuddle this dog. The topic of the puncuality is really a point. Imagine beeing late on a business meeting or on the first job interview, what impression would that have on your partners? Beeing late on private invitations is quite simillar. Imagine you invite sb for dinner, coffee or a barbeque you have the setting ready, the food on the stove, or the fire burning and the person won´t arrive at the right time....? That would be really disapointing and not very polite. stay safe and healthy out there you and your cute growing family..... greetings
How to determine whether to eat with cutlery or not: Are you in a formal surrounding, expensive restaurant etc? Use Cutlery, or simply watch the others - even in good restaurants taking bread with your hands is okay. Are you at McDonalds or something similar? Use your hands (except for the salad). Are you out with friends and the food is mostly dry and won't get your hands dirty? (apple, dry cake, nuts, fries, crispy pizza, doughnuts, chips..) Use your hands. Is the food greasy, has a sauce, frosting or could fall apart easily, use cutlery. I think you get the picture - keep hands away from moist foods, don't make a mess, don't suck or lick food or grease from your hands, it looks disgusting and really ill-bred.
I am German and i do not like eating with my fingers, then I don't like dirty fingers, so I have also my pizza, my burger and my chicken with knife and fork. My parents also ate their bread with knife and fork
@@lilg2300 Yes, when I was a kid, my parents also told us to eat bread with knife and fork but only when we were in a restaurant or hotel. Nowadays, I think that it's no longer done.
Hi. I am a german dog owner and I really have no problem with someone petting my dog but I must admit german dog owners can be a bit weird with that situation. Its 50/50. I have a lot of situation where I want to pet another dog and the owner gets all akward about it and there are situation when the owner is really happy about it. I always try to break the ice with a compliment how cute the dog is and from the reaction I know right away if its ok to pet the dog....But if someone is not used to this social etikette then it could become a weird situation....As always great content the 5 Things are well researched and true alot of times...Weird german habits....
I'm new to dog ownership and people pet my dod all the time, but she's a puppy and I'm always worried she will bite them, so I cross over the road when I see other dog owners coming. Any people that come near me will start conversations, which I found difficult at first (I'm quite reserved), but I'm getting used to it now. I'm in the UK.
@@LouiseFranksArt Since covid there are a lot of new dog owners out there...And a lot of them are a little bit inscure its their frist dog most of the times....But I think it is still one of the best ways to meet people and make friends...as akward as this may sound to you...you will love it one day...
Hey, it sounds like I should just pack my bags and move to Germany Lol. apart from eating with your hands, which I'm guilty of, everything else that you pointed out was pretty how much how I am, naturally at least. I live in north of UK, where people are exceptionally friendly, compared to south of England, so it took a while to get used to things like personal and probing questions. Funnily enough though, I did once meet an exceptionally overbearing and over-personal German lady on a cruise once - which I found extremely uncomfortable! So, I guess these people do exist, even in Germany - you just mustn't have met them yet LOL. I've been to Germany once, to a place called St Goarhausen, or something like that. Spent time going round small towns and visiting old castles etc. Loved it, but hated the food, which I found really bland and boring, with no salad and barely nany veg. I ended up going to a local supermarket and getting some fruit and veg LOL. Maybe it was just the hotel I stayed at?
Hey Louise, German traditional cousine is rather meaty. So if you are vegetarian or vegan, there are not many options in sense of traditional food. Depending on the region you stay, there may be some dishes like Käsepätzle or Spätzle mit Linsen (cheese or lentil spaetzle). But otherwise try an Italian or Asian restaurant in small towns. In bigger cities it's easier to find vegetarian or vegan restaurants.
@@TinaH302 We stayed in the south at a place called St Goarshausen, or something like that.We were supposed to be going back (but to a different region) in April 2020, but we all know what happened to that holiday LOL.May go back to Germany next year instead.
We dont need signs on a vending machine to know that it can crush us. Just approach and use it accordingly. The same goes with horses or any animal. My girlfriends dog was 50 kilo pure bone and muskle and even trained for police work and such a darling.
The dog thing is both about safety/responsibility (in case the dog may feel threatened and maybe bite) and personal boundaries, as a pet dog is considered part of your private/intimate sphere, and petting it whithout asking feels like an intrusion into that private sphere, kinda like opening a door without knocking. Eating with your hands is dependent on the food in question: Hamburgers, chicken wings, sausage rolls? No problem! Fried fish, currywurst or anything greasy/saucy that doesn't come in a sandwich but is served with cutlery? Use cutlery when in doubt? Soups and salads....okay, sorry, I'm just making funnies!
not a dog owner, but my friend's dog is pretty old and has a bad back, so people are not allowed to touch him, since he will attack because people touching hurts him. you never know those stories beforehand so it's better to ask the owner😌 the eating with hands thing could also be a generation thing? I'm in my 20's and eat pizza and all that with my hands.. there are people that even eat hamburgers with a knife and fork which is just😵 punctuality is all about respecting someone's time I think.. life is short and you could be doing something else instead of sitting around, waiting ;)
Chicken wings ARE allowed to be eaten with your hands here. All manners guide books allow that. And fast food like hamburgers are also allowed. Plus so called finger food is meant to be eaten by hand.
Bis zum 15 Minuten später zu kommen ist auch in Deutschland noch einigermaßen akzeptabel - wenn man sich dafür entschuldigt - wofür es die geläufige Bezeichnung "Akkademisches-Viertel" gibt, aber es sollte nicht zur Gewohnheit werden!
Es kommt auch auf den Anlass der Einladung an. Wenn man sich einfach zum Kaffeetrinken trifft, ist es nicht so schlimm. Wenn man sich zum Essen trifft (der Gastgeber hat gekocht), ist eine Verspätung sehr ärgerlich. Und bei einer Party gibt es eh kein exaktes "von - bis", und viele kommen etwas später, um nicht die Ersten zu sein...
Oh so thrue. ... but not the first point. I think it depends on where you're. I don't live in a city. And we always talk to people at the street about baby or dogs. But we don't pet a dog without asking if it's OK.
Not even the germans have invented a method to eat chicken wings effectively with knife and fork. I guess it depends on the type of restaurant you're in. In the classic bavarian inn nobody would bat an eye if you used your fingers (however, it is meanwhile considered rude to stick your face directly into the food):
I am a native German, however have lived in US, for the majority of my life. I have a Great Dane dog, who goes with me everywhere. People feel as though, they can touch and pet her, without even say a word to me! She is at most adults waist, in height, so they feel free to touch her, when just passing by, as if she were a statue! Anyone else have this phenomenon?
Interesting video. Petting stranger's dogs without asking isn't as much a privacy thing, it's a matter of respect and even more importantly, doing it without asking can be dangerous and get everyone involved (you, the owner and depending on the damage caused, even the dog) into trouble. The owner is liable for damage caused by their dog so it's just natural you should at least ask before getting close to an animal you don't know the personality of. (Plus idk how that is in other countries but when it comes to Germany, shelter dogs are quite common here. They're often traumatized especially with strangers and can snap without warning if you're just come close to them too suddenly. Talking too loud in public: As someone very sensitive to all kinds of noises, I always appreciate when people in public keep their volume on a moderate level. If they don't I sometimes think "Wow is THAT how you're communicating at home as well? For the sake of your neighbours, I sure hope it's not"... Most of the things you mention are just simple forms of respect. For the noise part, we're getting taught right from the start to be considerate of our surroundings (even though that seems to get less important to parents lately, which like you can imagine, is horrible for sensitive people, stressed people etc.). Yes we're also so private as to not wanting to learn about the personal or work-related drama other people on the train are going through, and at least in my case, part of it is also to consider how many people using public transport with me are doing so for work, are stressed anyway already, might just be getting home from a long exhausting shift and wish to relax a little at least on their way... Eating w/ fingers: It still depends. Obviously fast food is something else than expensive restaurant meals. To me personally eating almost everything with my hands would just feel gross no matter how much I wash them beforehand. I also don't like have too much fat dripping all over my fingers like I would with many pizzas for example. After all, I personally think cutlery was invented for a reason, so I can as well just use it XD (When it comes to your example, even I would eat these things with my fingers. But you can still do this in a respectful way. Like you've described your friends behaviour, that's just totally inappropriate at a restaurant imho. ^^°) And yes, ofc being (much too) late is considered rude...? People, be it at their work or in private, are making time for you. They might still have other plans after your visit, that could get messed up if you're showing up super late. Especially in a working environment people often have packed schedules with barely any space for changes (e.g. doctor's appointments). In these cases you'd just be causing avoidable extra stress for the people whose help you require. (Here in Germany, doctors often are quite overworked without people messing up their schedules, to keep with this example...)
Eating with your hand is not rude, only bad manners - except it is "finger food". In that case it would be bad manners to use fork and knife. But it is also officially good manners to eat chicken wings or chicken legs of a baked or roasted chicken with your hands (but only if served without sauce), but many Germans do not know this. In some restaurants they put little paper cuffs on the chicken legs where you can handle it without getting greasy fingers to show you: eat it with your hands, and in upper-class restaurants you get a bowl with water and some lemon to clean your fingers, also signalizing: Use your hands, it is o.k. Street food on the other hand you can always eat as you like. If pizza comes pre-cut into slices you are free to take the slices with your fingers (as long as you not let the toppings drop all over), but if you have to slice it yourself you are expected to use fork and knife to eat it. Elsässer Flammkuchen you usually eat with your fingers, too, even if served with fork and knife.
Spare rips ,chips, grilled chicken, pizza , pork knuckle even spaghetti ( don't quote me on this) are considered finger food in your private home in most parts of Germany. But be aware of the etiquette in restaurants or even at friends places. If there is a beautiful white table cloth and a 1200 threat count napkin on the table you should consider digging your head and hands into the Chinese porcelain. LOL
I'll be forgiving if someone is late and lets me know he won't make it time. Otherwise I'll be annoyed. It works the other way rund as well. I'm living in Cyprus where punctuality is oftentimes not considered as important. Once I asked an electrician for a quote for a bigger job and he was 20 min late. However, he had called me beforehand to let me know he'd be late. That made me trust him enough to not even ask others for quotes for comparison as I had usually done.
Hi. Dog and baby/child, too. Ask the adult, if it's okay to pet or to take a closer look. In general it's all about who, where, what and sometimes when. "Finger food" at Mc is concept, in a restaurant not. Mussels e.g.: first with fork and the rest with the first shell. The brew with a spoon and/or dipped pieces of bread by hand or spoon, too . Pizza street food: 👐 restaurant: 🍴 Tip: 1st time watch and copy the locals. Stress free and some new experiences. 2nd time your decision. Greeting
Things like pizza, burgers is usually also eaten with hands here in Germany. At least from what I know. Maybe not in fine restaurants. Fish & Chips must be a UK import to New Zealand😁 With the dogs I haven't noticed too much, but yeah, guess have to ask before.
First of all: thank you for your videos about your life here in Germany. I'm a German myself and it's always funny, interesting and enriching to hear about a non native experiences with german culture. Without further ado, let's get to point 3. Imagine like 30 - 40 people (or even more) riding a bus and everyone is talking loud to one another. Or even worse (in my opinion) a full set restaurant (do you say 'full set' - voll besetzt - in english?) The sound of the voices adds up to an almost unbearable amount where you almost have to shout to each other to understand a thing. It's not only about not wanting to hear a strangers life story, but the loudness is even worse. At least that's it for me. Germans punctuallity... some times we overdo it, I think. But sometimes it's a good and almost necessary thing. When you meet at a friends place just for hanging out, have a drink, have a coffee, I think you don't need to be right on the dot (nice phrase by the way) It's a chill thing, no stress involved, so why should I stress myself about the exact time? It's a little different when you're waiting for sth like a train or a movie, but most of the time it's annoying needing to be right on time. A different situation are official appointements like a doctor visit. Most parts of Germany are pretty densely populated, so it's likely that you are not the only one visiting the doctor, the coffieur, the whatever that day. We need a certain efficency to service all the people in the country. A dentist in my hometown putted it in a nutshell. He served: First, people with appointment being on time. Second, people without an appointment. Third, people with an appointment not being on time. Sorry for the long comment and I hope I didn't butcher the english language to badly ;) Have a good one and stay safe :)
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@@nataliedaly122 This is US dollars 😊
Yes, you need to ask the owner of the dog first before you can pet it. That's actually really important, because you don't know if the dog for example is traumatized and can't handle it or if it's for example a service dog. If the service dog is working, petting the dog can disturb them. So it's not really a rude thing we do, but something we learn as a child, because it's important.
That's right and also you dont know if the dog will bite. So it should also be in your own interest to ask first.
Yes that’s true! I wanted to say it as well!
True. As a child in the 60s in England my Mum always told me never to pat a strange dog
I find this idea a little overbearing, I can understand it changes depending on the context. For example, it certainly applies more when the dog is together with the owner. But, if it is alone, tied up, or running around a park - I would certainly never hesitate to relate to it. Maybe I am just more confident with dogs and can read their behaviour than the average person.
@@folkehoffmann1198 I always ask the dog, not the owner and I mostly get a positive answer.
The issue with strangers petting dogs without asking is that you never know if the cute little dog is as friendly as it looks and on the other hand not every stranger who comes up to your dog actually knows how to act around dogs. They are not stuffed animals.
My family's first dog was treated badly as a puppy and was aggressive towards strange men. If a child wanted to pet him (most children learn from their parents to ask), we let him sit and the kid could pet him, we would do some tricks and give him treats. That always worked great.
Now our new dog is a rescue dog and is afraid of everything. Loud cars, bikes, strangers, other dogs he doesn't know yet, and children are especially scary to him. We don't know if he just doesn't know what to do because he was born in a shelter and spent his first year there, or if he has bad experiences with kids who visited the shelter. Of course we encounter people on walk. Most times we step to the side to let them pass and they are very respectful. It is obvious to most that our dog is scared. But he gets braver each day.
I just wanted to give you some examples from my experience.
TL;DR don't just go up to the puppy, address the owner first and ask if you can pet the dog. Maybe ask how old he/she is or what breed. Most dog owners love to talk about their pets, just ask the human first ;)
Being a dog owner myself I can only second the advice: "Ask the dog owner first." We love people loving dogs and totaly understand the whish to pet them. But especially young dogs have to learn about interaction with strangers. Not each human likes dogs and some are already afraid if they just see a dog approaching. We have to deal with them as well. Our young dog loves humans and she easily gets hyped up when strangers start showing affection to her. She looks for that affection with the next people showing up, in the worst case causing fear because this human doesnt want being center of attention of a dog, whatever reason for. To make things easier, we like to be in control of the "first contact process". So just ask the owner first. That helps a lot.
One sentence is the explanation: dogs are bred in labs by the elites. All dogs have a gene and DNA from other animals. ( MAG BITTER TRUTH, MAG DISTURBING TRUTH...). Watch the truth channels.
Over there in the United States, I have seen angry owners lash out at strangers who attempt to feed their dogs, especially with junk food.
About petting dogs: it's not just the Germans who find that rude. I'm Dutch, and we think the same way. Always ask the owner if they are okay with you petting their dog.
It's a bit situational for me. If the dog is on a leash and the owner close i'd ask. If the dog is running around me and sniffing, wagging his tail, "trying to make conversation" i try to make eye contact with the owner if available and ask. if there is no owner in sight i let the dog decide ;)
Ohh really? I live in South Limburg (still part of the Netherlands, just not culturally), and here it's totally fine if you pet another person's dog without asking in public; most if the time the owner will even smile and wait until you're done petting their dog. At least, in my experience. But (south) Limburgians tend to be a bit more friendly/open to strangers anyway, especially if you speak in Limburgian:)
Don't think that it is specific to a nation but to the dog owners.
I am German and I will talk to the dog and try to pet them.
Just don't try to pet the dog with force. Many dogs will show interest and and come to you and let you pet them.
If they don't, let them be.
And say hallo to the dog owner too. It is of course rude to talk only to the dog.
I made positive experience with that and most dog owners are OK with that.
I had a very goofy dog, he was a big boy and even police officer’s, I crossed ways with used to back of a little by his appearance. He was cute too but his height was scary for some people. People didn’t even think about petting him. But some had the courage to pet him, they asked me first and I always told them „no” because he was protective of me too, if someone would’ve reached a hand in my direction… boy.. he would’ve growled and show his teeth. If someone would have touched him without asking he would’ve bite
something here in australia
I am Australian and I would never dream of being late for appointments, especially not doctors‘ appointments or other professionals‘ appointments. It‘s a matter of respect. You are acknowledging that they have other things to do with their time. Actually, I am always on time when I meet up with my friends too. It‘s respecting that other people have other things to do with their time. 😊
A very german point of view. We are punctual to show respect. But there are also people who are unable to manage their time.
And being late for a job interview can cost you the chances of getting it in the first place. Not just in germany, I've heard about this from different countries as well, so never be late for anything official.
When it comes to meeting with friends or family, i myself usually just say a rough time span of about half an hour(or more if necessary) when i probably will arrive, yet i usually try to arrive at the beginning of the time span, but it always depends on traffic conditions when i really arrive.
Just for example: on friday i have an appointment for blood donation at 10:15. It can and will take an unknown amount of time to get done with it, because there are variables like how many other people are there this early; after that i will go to a shop in the centre of the city to spent an unknown amount of time browsing the goods for a special thing i am looking for; and following that i will visit my parents. so when will i arrive at my parent's place exactly? i don't know and there is now way to tell for sure. roughly estimated between 11:30 and 13:00.
@@JMJones-hb1fr Same over here.
Conf-t My father was from Germany. 😊
@@julieenglert3371 😁👍
If you don‘t want to see something, you can turn your head or close your eyes, but you can not „close“ your ears if you do not want listen to other peoples conversations or phone calls if you are in a bus or train.
Re dog-petting: If the dog bites you for any reason (whether provoked or not), the owner is liable for the dog's behaviour and could be sued for damages.
To point 3: it's not only chatting loud at public places, loud cellphone calls are annoying too.
I think this one is true everywhere really. I find noise so annoying, so tend not to talk loud and have phone calls in public. I'm in UK.
Right. I live near the US Airbase Wiesbaden I offen observe US citizens who talk as loud in the S-Bahn (or orher public places) that they also entertain the next coach. I am not sure if they are aware of the fact that most Germans understand what they are talking about. I doubt that they are aware of that. The subjects are often too private to be discussed in public.
@@blubberdignubber In these cases it can be very effective to join the conversation :-)
Addition: Asking someone how they are and then walking off on them. I know it's a thing. I know it's not an actual question in English. I know it's considered friendly but I just can't get over it. I've spent a year in England and 3 months in Australia. It felt rude. Every. Single. Time.
It feels rude to me too, as an American. Thankfully it doesn't happen in Germany.
It's an interesting one is this one, as I live in UK and people say "you're alright?" as a kind of greeting. It's not a question so much as a greeting and it's something that I've seen happening more and more over the years. I'm 45 and people never asked "you're alright?" as a greeting back when i was young, but it's everywhere now. I don't mind it as I guess I'm used to it, but I'll bear that in mind next time I go to Germany.
Tja, man muss sich doch anpassen können. Nicht alle Länder sind gleich.
This is kind of a hard one cause I live in the UK (am originally from Austria) and even the ppl here disagree on whether “how are you?” requires an answer or not but I’ve found in general that if you provide one (which I always do), it’s not considered too odd, just sometimes there’s not enough of a break to answer 😂 but yeah it kinda varies 😄
@@LouiseFranksArt wait, so "you're alright?" isn't a real question either? My neighbour, (an ex UK soldier stationed in Germany, finding love and stayed forever kind of guy), asks this to me all the time when we meet walking our dogs. And I always stop, think about it, and answer in earnest, talking bout my day, good and bad things that occupied my thoughts that day, but asking in return and getting a "uh, yeah, yeah, I'm a'righ" response. Wether it was rainy or sunny, if his arm was broken, his kid has graduated or his dog just died. Every single time. I always thought him just being very private and didn't like to talk too much about himself.
Always wondered why he was asking when he obviously seemend in a hurry 🙄
Bei Hunden ist es eher so, dass diese durch die Erziehung auf eine Bezugsperson koordiniert werden und eigentlich die Erlaubnis des Herrchen abwarten sollen, bevor sie sich mit Fremden einlassen. Die sind dann meist verwirrt und wissen nicht, was sie machen sollen. Einfach den Besitzer fragen, die meisten erlauben das Streicheln. Dann weiß man auch, ob der Hund das will.
Chicken wings and chicken legs are okay to eat with your hands.And fries in a fast food place. But don’t lick your fingers, use the napkin.
And if you realize you’re going to be late: give a call.
Finger Food, like Bratwurst :) is ok toooooo
Exactly!
I wish Germans could understand that being early is as rude as being late. I am talking about 20-30 minutes early, it happens to me all the time. I've given myself enough time to prepare for guests and then I'll be stepping out of the shower and the doorbell will ring. Recently I was 15 minutes early to someone's house and I waited in my car around the corner. Somehow being punctual has become "late."
exactly, good point !
Yes, thats rude as well. My mother in law used to do that to me🤨
I'm probably guilty of this. I'm always early, though if I'm more than 15 mins early I tend to wait around the corner.
Originally, it was considered correct to show up 15 minutes late (but not more!) to an invitation in a private home, especially for "Kaffe und Kuchen" so you would not surprise your host while still being busy.
My parents always show up 15 minutes too early. That's why they will be invited 15 minutes later than all others... ;-D
I think for a private appointment, here is alway 10 minutest wiggle room. But when I know it's tight, I'll send a text. And nowadays everyone has their phone at the ready, so no excuses. ;-)
I remember reading in the newspaper (USA) that when McDonald’s first opened in Germany, a man was flabbergasted when he got his hamburger with no flatware. He said “What am I suppose to do with this? Eat with my hands?!!!”
Please don't adapt. We need more friendliness and openness. Just be a New Zealander in Germany. That's not rude, it enriches us. But be punctual - this is a matter of respect.
Yeah especially these days, where I can't stand my fellow German's overt rudeness for miniscule things. I mean, I get it, we're all having a bad time right now, but it could also be a lot worse here (see Brazil or India, i.e.). Don't vent your frustrations on your fellow citizens. We definitely need more friendliness; uplifting each other instead of bringing others down.
From a german dog owner's perspective there is only one major reasons why i don't like other people petting my dog without asking for permission first. As it was said before, it is a question of liability in case the dog might bite or harm others. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to approach a dog correctly, which can then lead to some serious issues. Just to give you an example: My dog, like many other dogs, hates it when people do bend over his head in order to pet him. To him that is just intimidating and as a dog he responds in his way, which would be growling. Which then is considered very often to be a sign of aggression, when it is only the dog's way of communicating that he doesn't like something. He can't speak obviously. When people ask permission first, i can then tell them to not bend over his head but offer their hand for the dog to smell first and get to know you a bit before being touched. After that, he's fine when being petted and loves every minute of it...:-) When i think about it, german dogs are very much like their owners, they need some time to warm up....:-D
By the way, the same goes for touching anyone's baby or toddler in a pram or stroller without asking permission in advance.
Exactly. I'm the owner of a white Chihuahua and I don't know how often I have to deal with people who think that going "Ooooh! HoW CutE!" * pad pad pad on the head * was the approriate way to approach a dog...
Obviousely the little animal is also a kids-magnet. But children are much more respectful most of the time. When they approach, I use to ask them to hold for a moment, to see if the dog wants to say hello. I then let the dog sit and ask the kid to present their palms. If my dog does not object, I let them ruffle the fur behind the ears and then on the neck and down the back. I also tell them that dogs don't like being petted with the flat hand and especially to on the head. If my dog is not in the mood, I tell the kid exactly that and although sometimes they can be a little disappointed, they usually understand. These little encounters can be great for all involved - in the best case a kid can ruffle a cute dog, the dog gets ruffled by a cute kid, I can live out my 'explaination-bearness' and the parents have a happy kid and someone who interacted nicely with them.
Regarding eating with your fingers, as long as you manage to do it in a civil way without slurping, licking your fingers and smearing fat and gravy everywhere it's totally acceptable even in restaurants. If they have a chicken leg on the menu they have to expect people eating it with their hands. After all, picking up an item from your plate, dipping it and then carefully eat it is something completely different than going in with both hands and stuffing fistfulls of food into your mouth.
Teaching a child to ask before petting a dog is so important. my daughter is mentally disabled. she loves dogs and it was a lot of work to get through the 3 steps. 1 - ask, 2- don't stretch out your arm while asking, wait for the answer, 3 -accept the NO. Most kids get the asking, but will bend down to pet the dog while doing so. Accepting the "No, sorry, dog doesn't like strangers" really needs working on. but it is important for safety reasons.
I think its not just the questions... You can ask a German something, they will tell you everything they are comfortable with. Since in Germany it would be very rude to lie, we only ask questions we would also answer honestly ourselves. So don´t ask, if you don´t want to know the story ;)
after about 10 Minutes always text or at least apoligise, because the other one waited for you and it just shows that you recognize that
Very true! I live in the UK and ppl here are way too quick to lie :(( they don’t even realise
Germans eat in privat certain dishes with hands like for example chicken legs. Very often they avoid to eat them in a office canteens because of the struggle with the cutlery.
I've had dogs for more than 30 years and never found it rude when someone petted them. It can cause problems though. My big dogs were very focussed on me and just didn't like to be approached by strangers and my little Westie was so enthusiastic about everybody's friendliness that she started jumping up at strangers with her dirty paws which wasn't always appreciated .
So what I do when I see a dog is ask the owner if it's ok if I pet their dog.
Eating with your hands , getting your fingers all greasy or even licking your fingers is just gross - what are you going to touch with them next?
Yes, we hate it to be late and I hate it when a guest to my house is late because usually we like to have everything ready on time , the table set, the coffee or dinner fresh and hot and ready to serve.
Thank you for sharing your observations, Antoinette !
These are all very astute and correct observations. I nodded my head for each of your five points. And I'm really impressed by how much you know about our culture.
I am German and I adopted stray dog who was often overwhelmed by strangers and would also snap if it was getting too much. Of course I worked with professional dog trainers and tried my best to make him feel comfortable around people, but it was just something he never really got used to. Who knows what he had experienced in the past in Rumania that made him act that way. Anyway, as a dog owner who was trying to train a dog with social issues it was just super hard to have people randomly coming up and patting my dog. You should always ask first as you don’t know what the dog’s personality is like.
1.: Yes, it‘s true. At first we want to have more distance and we don’t like really personal questions, if we are not so close.
2.:I like animals too and I want to cuddle them. But first I ask the owner of the animal, whether if it’s ok to touch the pet
3.: That is correct. It is very annoying, if the people around too loud
4.: I grow up to eat with knife and fork. The only exception was birds. There it was allowed to eat with your hands.
But in that case I am not a typical German. Junk food like frites, chicken wings or legs, burger I use my fingers.
5.: Yes, right! To be on time is a very important thing. But it depends which kind of appointment it is. If it’s an official appointment I’ll be earlier, with Friendswood have a saying: The academic quarter, means you can be late until 15min.
I am Polish, but I live in Germany, these things Poles find rude as well.
Petting sb's dog is also the matter of responsibility if something bad happens.
I hate people being late, hence they don't respect me and my time. Therefore, I am hyper punctual, min 20 Minutes before deadline 🤣
Greetings from Dortmund 🦏
I'm always early for everything ans I hate people not being punctual. I find it disrespectful of you and your time. I live in UK.
Yes, but arriving TOO early can be annoying for your hosts, as they could perhaps not be quite ready to welcome you.
@@bouli3576 When I am a host, I am ready at least 30 Minutes before the party begin. I'm control freak 🤣 ...just a joke. As formal meetings are concerned, one should always be on the dot. But in informal situations, I'm +- 5 minutes earlier.
For me as a German Dogowner, i'd definately say, that i would be really surprised If someone would pet my dog without asking me If the Dog ist friendly. When i was a Kid my Family Always warned me to pet a Dog without asking the owner if i'm allowed & If the Dog it friendly. So i wouldn't be Mad but surprised!
Punctuality. It is simply a basic form of showing respect:
If I don't give a f**k about you, I will make you wait. Bc when I don't respect you as a person, why should I bother not wasting your time.
From the opposit angle:
If I respect you, I for shure don't want to waste your time making you wait.
Keep that in mind, and you will know why you get at least a pair of angrily raised eyebrowes if you finally show up half an hour late.
Edit: Basicly everyone has a cellphone on hand by now. If you are getting late by accident, just give your appointment a short call. Noone will be giving you crap for being late then.
Native older German here and yes I'm a dog owner for nearly 2 decades now. If a stranger starts petting my dog without asking for permissen I would immediately step back. The reason for that is not really a feeling of rudeness but more my concerns about how my dog will respond. I know this dog now for nearly ten years and I'm sure she is a relaxed dog but in the end, she is a so-called "Kleine Münsterländerin" a breed designed for hunting. But since we have her I could not remember a situation where any stranger started petting my dog without asking for permission.
Our first dog was a Golden Retriever and with him, we have encountered several times the situation that strangers petted him without asking first and this is for a dog owner a complicated thing. We got him out of a shelter and did not know his history, so even if he was a very friendly dog, we were never sure if the stranger would trigger any of his weak points. As the dog owner, you are always accountable for the behavior of your pet and strangers should keep in mind that dogs could also be used as weapons. So I would not classify it as rude but as a dump act to pet a dog without the permission of his/her owner.
Id love to see some outdoor videos of life in Germany. I love Germany and it be lovely
It's not only rude to just touch somebody else's dog, it's actually potentially dangerous. The dog might look friendly, but you don't know, whether it may bite or be scared or jump at you or move in unexpected ways or might have an illness or fleas or something like that.
I know a great dog. He has long fur that looks like it will be nice to touch, but he is very, very protective of his owner and he will bite you, if he thinks you are a threat to the owner.
It is just not smart to pet a dog unless you asked the owner whether it is safe to do so.
As you pointed out, feeling sorry for being late is an even bigger thing in Germany. :o) I remember my English teacher in the Oberstufe (last two to three years before graduation): At the time he was teaching in two different buildings which were about 5 running minutes apart and he would often arrive late for class. We didn't mind that very much (what student does?), but he was always mortified and as he came in he would pant, "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Obviously, this earned him his nickname: Dr. Sorry. ;oD
As for eating with your fingers, I find this is also a generational thing: I was taught to NEVER eat cooked food other than with a knife and fork. This was one of the skills your parents would make sure you had internalized by the time you went to kindergarten. However, there were certain foods that you were expected to "hold", such as a chicken leg, because THAT was the educated thing to do. To this day I inwardly laugh whenever I see something hacking away with cutlery at a slippery chicken leg. ;o)
I have friends who are ten years younger and to them, eating pizza other than with your hands is completely out of the question. They consider using knife and fork in this case to be almost arrogant and certainly laughable. Personally, I will eat fast food with my hands, especially in privacy, but I also enjoy using cutlery. I always feel it gives the process of appreciating a meal a lot more distinction.
To be fair, it depends on the kind of pizza. If it's very thin, soft and dangly with a lot of toppings, I rather use fork&knife. But as long as holding the pizza without dropping half of the stuff doesn't pose a challange, hands are the way to go.
7:35 To be late to a business appointment is considered to be rude. But to be late to a private appointment starts only to be rude if it's more than a quarter of an hour (but to be late to a rendezvous is always rude - for that you should better be a quarter early), and if it's a somewhat bigger party you can even be more than an hour (ore more, depending if it is still going on) late without being rude (in most cases) as long as nobody has to wait for you. Actually it is not the "being late" that makes it rude, but to keep others waiting for you.
In general I don't really mind it if a person wants to pet my dog but they should definitely ask first. My dog is really anxious when she meets new people and you have to approach her in a certain way to gain her trust. Otherwise she could try to bite or snap you
Hi Antoinette,
I agree, petting a strangers dog without asking can be risky as you don't know how the dog reacts and a dog's owner is often held responsible if something happens.
The next thing eating with the fingers/hands totally depends on the circumstances for example if your in a restaurant eating a pizza it might be deemed inappropriate but being at a Mecca's, KFC or an Imbiss enyoing a Bratwurst - snag it's how ya eat it.
What we Germans in Hessen really deem rude is when you enter a room etc or group of people and not saying good morning, g'day .... or saying bye/see ya or good night/till tomorrow when you leave.
Hi, I am from the Netherlands and I wish I was living in Germany or Austria or Switzerland. The dutch people especially the youth
are só rude,at a point,that I start to hate being around them. The parents treat there children if they are adults.
So,so,so,so,so wrong. In Germany are rules !rules!. Here does everybody (including the children) what they want. Nobody ( well,of course not everybody)
does care about somebody else. I hate it here and wish I was born in Germany or Austria or Switserland.
There is still (although for how long) respect. Rules are a form of respect. Cherish it please with all of your heart, and keep them alive.
It is very hard to live somewhere,where is nó respect anymore. Trust me, I live it,and it is fár from fun!!!
Being respectful of rules is a good skill to have, whatever country you're in :)
Absolute Louise,100% true
Hello.... I am 52 years old and German... I have never never never in my life been late. I use an earlier bus, plan some time if I can't find a parking place or else. Don't know why, but it is one of the things that never happen since my mother told me (when I was a kid) never to be late.
Guests that are late make me angry🤷♀️
As a German who tends to be late from time to time I loooooooved living in New Zealand 😅♥️ now my kiwi husband and I live in Germany n I always stress out as we are often too late bcs of him (not kidding) and everyone thinks I am the reason.... 🙈
German here - very accurate list! :D I've even been to some restaurants where I didn't feel it was appropriate to eat a burger with my hands, so I ate it with knife and fork (even as a German this feels very wrong) 🙈 But I think in most fastfood or italian restaurants, eating with your hands is fine :)
Also regarding the lateness thing: I absolutely agree that you mustn't be late to official appointments or meetings with acquaintances as it's considered disrespectful. If I know I'll be more than 10-15 minutes late, I consider it courteous to let the other party know. However with close friends, I feel like you can be more laidback :) I tend to arrange meetings "around" a certain time as well, rather than on the dot.
As you mentioned, I feel like a lot of things that are considered rude here only apply when dealing with people that aren't very close to you (at least in my generation - I'm 23). So I guess if you see a German being 'rude' like you described, it's a sign they feel comfortable around you 😂🌻
(maybe those things are considered rude around strangers because they feel obtrusive in a way, like they imply familiarity or something🤔)
I’m an American and have a Yorkshire terrier named Kevin. He’s adorable but is very feisty. I would prefer people to ask to pet him. I don’t want someone getting bit.
My parents were from Germany and you are spot on with everything you said. Especially being late.
the points you made are very accurate!
eating with your hands is judged depending on the situation, but inside a nicer restaurant where cutlery is available, it is considered inappropriate to eat with your hands.
about being late, i'd say it depends on the situation. In your case, with a small child, I wouldn't mind if you were 15 minutes late to the playground, especially if you texted and let me know. however if you were late because you were disorganized or just didn't care leaving early enough, then I might be a little annoyed. any kind of official appointment, you HAVE to be punctual and better be a little early.
when you're invited to someone's house it is also polite to ask if you should remove your shoes (especially if they're muddy or wet!)
If we in Germany say, that someone can come around 10 o'clock. It's also okay to come quarter to half an hour later/early. Because you say "around 10". But if you have an DOCTORS appointment or any other meeting (wether it's personal or a professional meeting) it is considered rude. Especially if it's an "official" appointment and not one with a friend. Because e.g. doctors are really busy and if you're not there when you have to, they have to wait for you. And not only the doctor, because if you are 10 minutes late and you start your appointment 10 minutes late I can (to 90%) assure you that the person who has the appointment after you will have to wait the 10 minutes YOU messed up. So it's just in everyones interest that your on time. Because if not your wasting time of other people. And you don't know if others after you have a busy schedule and have to go somewhere else.
I had to cancel a doctors appointment at one point, because the person before me was late and I didn't have the time to wait another 10 extra minutes. So I had to schedule a new appointment (which then was 2 weeks later) because of a person who was late. And that just sucks. :/
But if your "only" meeting a friend it's not that big of a deal. Then even germans come 5-10 minutes late and that's totally cool. But still we will apologize if we are late of course, because that is just what we've been taught. If you miscalculated your time the least you can do is apologize. It doesn't cost anything and is just a polite gesture :D
Dear Antoinette,
we don't consider it to be rude to pet an unfamiliar dog but dangerous. We teach our kids to ask the owner for permission because not all dogs are friendly. I personally knew a German Shepard, which was mishandled by its former owner. It was afraid, even terrified, of men, esp. men with a hat and a cane. Whereas I could pet the dog the first I met it, my husband needed a good dozen encounters with this dog to earn its trust. And a distant relative of mine had a Dackel who just didn't like children and hated the colour red. So when we visited her, I had to wear clothes in any colour but red and not to bother the dog. In addition, asking for permission gives the owner a chance to explain how to approach a dog in general and their dog in particular. This minimizes the risk of getting bitten by a startled dog.
Asking private questions too early is a little bit rude and we might consider you a little weird. But it's something that will be forgotten in a while.
Talking (or in our feeling "shouting") in public is very rude. I want a conversation at my table, I don't want to listen to a person's story 3 tables over in a restaurant. Or in the tram, I might want to read a book and not listen to gossip I'm not interested in. My father-in-law once asked a young man on an overnight flight from Taipeh to Frankfurt to lower the volume of his walkman as the music was very loud despite of the in-ear speakers the man used. As the man did not react, he asked a flight attendant to resolve the issue, but the man wouldn't budge. A change of seats was not possible as the flight was fully booked. So he took out his toolbox (he's an engineer), took his side cutter, and cut the cable. He got applause by some of the other guests (and some of the flight attendants).
Being late: Pünktlichkeit ist die Höflichkeit der Könige - punctuality is the courtesy of kings. I don't want my time wasted by senselessly waiting for someone to show up, so I do my best not to waste somebody else's time.
CU twinmama
As a German I agree in most points. There was so much said about the dog thing (I also teach my daughter to ask before she approaches a dog she doesn't know, as well as every other animal). But I got to say something about the eating thing: there are some foods that are eaten with the fingers in private space, lika fries or pizza or chicken wings, but not in public. I got taught as a child in public or around poeple you don't know well you have to eat with a knive and fork :)
Hänchenkeule und Pitza darf man auch in Deutschland in die Hand nehmen, worauf auch in den deutschen Benimmbüchern - wie z.B. im "Knigge" - deutlich hingewiesen wird!
Hänchenkeulen faßt man meistens mit Hilfe einer Papierserviette an, aber auf keinen Fall ist er erlaubt die Finger abzulecken, weder im Gasthaus noch zu Hause, denn dafür ist die Serviette da!
Entschuldigung, ich bin ein Hühnerflügelhalter und Fingerlecker LOL. Ich wasche und santitisiere meine Hände!
2: I've had strangers' dogs come up to me, one even took my wrist in its mouth, but very carefully - the owner was terrified at first, so I took the dog's action to be as friendly as it appeared to me. Another very friendly dog turned out to be a trained police dog, but since I already had a very friendly encounter with a guard rottweiler it wasn't a big deal. A friendly chat with the dog's owner really helps, and when they recognize you know how to approach dogs it's fine.
You are absolutly right in all 5 points , and not comming in time is the worst.
"5 Minuten vor der Zeit ist des Deutschen Pünktlichkeit."
Yup. That's why i am always late to appointments, even when arriving 30min before, or they'll never learn ;)
But somehow that became 20, 30 minutes. WTH.
That's considered to be very rude in France... thinking of a private appointment for diner, you didn't gave the inviting person (enough) time to prepare... ;-)
@@petereggers7603 exactly. In order to manage (when we lived in Paris) we announced different invitation times to Germans (20:30), English (20:15) & French (20:00) for Italians & Spainards (19:30) :) Another jolt was to ban the usage of English :)
@@berndhoffmann7703 Cela m'amuse... c'est rigolo 😊😂👍
Very interesting video!! I have been to Germany a number of times, and when I'm in a fast food place such as McDonalds, I've seen lots of people eating with their hands. Being timely is one of my ultimate practices. When I came over to the USA from Germany as a child. When my parents brought me here, they were always on time wherever they had to be, I picked that up and considerate rude to be late. A lot depends on the nature of the meeting. If a friend says ill see you at this bar around 5:00, It doesn't"t bother me if they're late. The more formal the occasion, the more rude it is not to be on time. The term Faishonaly late, is by its nature rude.
Well, you do not get a knife and fork in McDonalds to have that option 😄 I think what horrified people in that story was more the finger licking and not making sure the fingers were as clean as possible while eating...
There are occasions when Germans eat with their fingers too, some fries or a sausage in a roll at a take away, Döner Kebab, Burger at McDonalds or even Pizza at home or maybe a pub. If however you eat in a Restaurant, then it is considered bad manners in Germany. Licking fingers is almost always considered bad manners :). I was pretty baffled when I was at a business trip to the US and my boss was taking out the whole team to a quite fancy steak restaurant. One of my female colleagues suddenly said "oh what the heck" and started picking peas from the plate with the fingers since she failed to eat them with a fork. That would get you some looks in a German restaurant :).
I'm german and I must admit I was a bit puzzled about some of your points. As for me
I eat with my hands whenever I like, pizza, french fries, whatever
I talk to strangers about personal things - perhaps start telling about yourself before asking questions and see how they take it ;)
I talk in public about everything I like
I pet other people's dogs, but I ask permission - its about interfering with the dogs education and discipline. you dont want your dog to become so excited about strangers that they jump on everyone.
I'm punctual and I get mad if others aren't - totally agree this point
2. Don't do that because the dog might as well attack you as a stranger. That's why no German likes that you touch their dog without being asked. How do you know if the dog is not biting you? Because you have to know that in Germany the question arises whether the dog is socially acceptable in public and that in turn comes to the question of whether the dog then has to be put to sleep because it bites other people? And then you are actually responsible for that out of ignorance! This has nothing to do with rude behavior.
3. And yes, the loud behavior of English-speaking foreigners is inappropriate in a society that strictly separates privacy and business and enjoys quiet in public.
4. Eating with hands is left to the young children, that is to say that only small children do. Knigge says: "Anyone who can handle a knife and fork is cultivated." That the Anglo-Saxons are English and the rest of the rest of the colonies are rather uncultivated in this regard. Well, I'll include the Americans there.
5. It is rude and disrespectful to be late for appointments, meals, and other dates. So this is uncultivated behavior.
petting dogs without asking: what do you know about my dog? what if my dog does not like to be touched by strangers and bites you? what if my dog is a rescue and does not like specific kind of people (like quickly running children, men or women) because of bad experiences? who is the person who has to take responsibility when something bad happens? exactly: the dog owner.. it is really not that much of a hassle to just say: "omg your dog is so cute is it ok if i pet it?" or "omg my daughter adores your dog. what is it's name? is it ok if she pets it?" .. also if it is a free running dog in a park somewhere and the dog runs up to you, wags his tail like crazy you can for sure pet it without having a huge conversation.. the fact that the owner decides to let his dog run free should imply that the dog is friendly with strangers and that the owner most likely is easygoing enough to not throw a tantrum if you touch their dog..
you can for sure eat certain foods with just your fingers in germany.. e.g. chicken, no problem at all to eat it with your hands, but licking your fingers? srsly?
fast food like burgers.. who eats a burger with knife and fork or a döner? there are lots of fast foods you eat just with your fingers, considering that many german fast foods come in a bun anyways.. but why would i wanna eat a currywurst with just my fingers?
pizza: at home eat it however you like, in a small pizza shack it is ok to eat your pizza with your fingers, in a proper restaurant not so much, even tho only the most uptight people would bat an eye if you eat pizza with your fingers.. the more "high class" a restaurant gets the more i would refrain from using just my fingers... so small pizza shack with some wooden counters with people standing around + a few wooden tables: using your fingers ain't a problem.. proper restaurant with a nicely laid table and white table cloth, which probably won't serve the pizza pre-cut anyways: use your cutlery
also why would i eat chips and fish with my fingers only and get grease everywhere? no one would eat something with gravy with just their fingers, but when it is dripping with grease it is ok?
In Germany eating with your hands is fine in fast food places and at casual parties but not in formal situations, which includes most restaurants and for example weddings. And obviously the food has to be suitable. Chips, chicken, döner kebab, hamburgers are all fine to eat with your hands, but it gets difficult with eg a currywurst. The problem with eating pizza using your hands is that it needs to be pre-sliced to do that, but pizzas in Germany tend not to come sliced (neither frozen pizza nor pizzas served in restaurants come sliced) so you need to cut them up, so you need cutlery.
I also kind of feel the dog petting without asking first thing. On my way to the vet with public transport a lot of people tried to pet my sick rabbits in their transportation box, knocked against the box and asked noisy questions while I was sick of worry whether they will be fine again or not ....
In France and I think in Germany with high end restaurants serving full course French meals the plate will be surrounded by an awful lot of instruments and tools you will never have seen and you must know which peace of food has to be tackled by which gadget. A friend of mine told me that you have two options. Either do it properly or eat everything with your hands.
Das Essen mit den Finger kommt sehr auf das Lokal an. In einem Feinen Restaurant besser nicht. Bei einem "normalen" Italiener /Pizzariea ist es ok seine Pizza in die Hand zu nehmen. Chikenwings....isst man halt nur in einem Lokal wo man die Finger benutzen kann.
Even in New Zealand now, I tell strangers off if they just come up to pat my dog without asking. One has to be a careful these days with dogs (my dogs are fine btw, or I wouldn't take them out to meet other people). I try and educate kids especially to ask before they start patting and generally in NZ kids will always ask.
Completely agree on most points. The dog situation is particularly important because you never know how a strange dog will react. If you ask first and I know my dog will like it (our dog loves being pet), I'll say "of course" and be happy to meet a person who likes dogs, otherwise I'll explain why that would be a bad idea. Now if you don't ask and just go ahead petting a dog who has some issues, it might be scared and snap at you and the owner would be liable. So I think it's very understandable for dog owners to expect to at least be asked first, and I have a hard time imagining that's just a german thing.
About eating with your hands: Personally, I don't see anything rude about that in the slightest. It may go against etiquette, but that and being rude are two completely different things in my book. As long as you don't draw attention to you, are very noisy, make it hard to ignore you or do something disgusting that makes me lose my appetite - in short, as long as you don't bother me directly with the way you eat, I don't think it's any of my business. But I know people have very different opinions there. To me, judging someone who doesn't perfectly follow the proper etiquette is way more rude than doing something Knigge would disapprove of but that doesn't really affect anyone around you.
I live in NZ and I have to say, I have always thought the openness here is just a little too rude and nosey for me. I'm a solo mum and I have had women ask me at parties or at playgroups " so what happened with the father..?" RUDE! They would have only.been speaking to me for 10 mins. I can see how too much of being closed would feel cold too but too much openness is too much. Also, eating everything with cutlery seems a bit much for me. In NZ, I couldn't imagine going to my local Indian restaurant and cutting my naan bread 😂
In Germany we or at least all people I know, eat Naan bread with their hands! ;-)
@@lilg2300 phew! Awesome! 😀👌🙌
As a dog owner, all I can say is that even though my dog looks cute, she has her very own ideas about when, where and by whom she wants to be touched.
And because my dog is not so good at discussing things, touching her in a way she perceives to be inappropriate might lead to aggressive behaviour in individual cases.
And that's where I come in as the owner:
I'm liable for that. I have to make sure that no one is harmed by my dog.
Apart from that, it can happen that a dog that bites a person is euthanised by order of the authorities - a fate that one would not wish on a family member.
Therefore: First ask me (I can tell by looking at my dog whether she is in the right mood or not) and then you cuddle her.
Hi Antoinette, your bright smile in the morning brings out the sun for me! 🤩😎
My neighbour from the flat opposite came back from walking his two dogs one day shortly after he moved in, and one dog is already very old, has a grey muzzle and is already limping slightly (so cute!) and this dog turned around and walked a bit towards me. Despite my allergy, I couldn't help myself, said hello to the neighbour and literally cuddled the dog. The neighbour was also totally irritated and I apologised. He laughed and just said it was unusual, but I had permission at any time if the dog came to me of its own accord.
I was taught by my family from an early age to largely avoid eating with my hands in public. Now I don't really care, I eat fries, chicken wings or spare ribs with my fingers - let people look. The only thing I avoid is licking my fingers, I find that quite disgusting myself when someone loudly puts their fingers in their mouth and sucks them off.
Being late is really a bad habit that I absolutely hate, I'm very German about it. Anything up to 10 minutes is fine, otherwise everyone has a mobile phone with them and can just let them know they're running late. The chairwoman of the works council (type: old hippie) once made me wait 20 minutes for an appointment at work, then she came walking around the corner laughing with a big coffee cup and two people and said succinctly, "Oh, I needed a coffee refill! Don't be like that!" and I just said "And you're stealing my time, have a nice day!" and left her standing there with her mouth open and complained to her boss afterwards, because I was so upset about that kind of behaviour. Call me rude, but at least she was more punctual afterwards.
I‘m a German dog owner. Everybody loves my dog (you see her in my picture). If there is a problem like Paula defends a ball you can’t touch her. In such a situation I‘d explain to you why it’s not the best time. But in every other situation you can touch her and Paula loves it. But in Germany it’s normal to ask for touching a dog.
I’m Australian and find strangers invading my privacy with too many questions, lateness, eating with hands, patting other peoples dogs without asking and being loud and attention seeking annoying characteristics.
There is a little German in every Anglo :-)
@@schlafesbruder7625 A lot of German in this particular Anglo (well, after 40+ years in G., I suppose that's rather inevitable).
Dear Antoinette
Talking about dogs in general and in germany
Beeing a dog owner in germany i hate strangers touching my dog unless i give permission. And there are reasons why.
First: My dog Maria is used to my body language, my voice, so there is a chance that a voice or a certain behaviour might not fit into her world.Now dogs in general do have a certain "language"
to tell humans about her feelings.Like for example: wiggeling her tail does NOT always mean she is friendly. So she will give signals by body language and or sounds. Now if the human is ignoring those signals there is frustation, which can change to agression. As a dog owner i am responsible this doesnt happen.
So if someone is just reaching out for her whithout giving her the chance to decide if she really wants this it might cause problems.
I usually tell those folks : let her sniff ure hand first, talk gently,and respect her if shes not interrested in u.
Its so easy. Do i umbrace any attractive lady???Or do i show respect and be ok if she says NO?
So are dogs; they are individuals whith all the feelings, favourites,and are able to live with humans as accepted real partners. So Maria and me we are a pack and someone who is not might be an intruder.
Cat people will object, but has anyone heard about a cat risking her live to help a human in need?
5:20 eating with fingers in restaurants is a real no-go, but we have fastfood companies, and there its typical to eat with hands. 7:15... so true, dont be too early, and dont be too late :P 60 secs before official meeting is okay, and 60 secs after is almost too late. Better be there at the exact time xD
Being late, means you waste the time of the person that waits.
To pet a foreign dog is uncomfortable for THE owner, because the dog can be on treatment or excise.
About the dog thing, in Germany children often times get tough by their parents that patting a dog you don't know is a no-no because it could be dangerous. When you want to patt a dog you should always ask the owner first
I've always struggled with how in english speaking countries 'Do not pet a working dog!' is a thing people emphasize so much, just because petting any dog is something you simply don't do in Germany. It's rude and intrusive. You don't touch foreign peoples belongings, you don't touch foreign peoples children, why touch their dogs? And you never know if the dog might be aggressive or anxious or in training. Even if the dog is off leash and comes to you, talking to it is fine (like, saying 'Oh, hi cutie!') but petting is not. The only people who sort of get away with this kind of behaviour are very young children, though even they will be getting a talk by their parents or the dogs owner about that and why you have to ask before petting a dog.
In general: respect other peoples belongings, respect their personal space, their family and pets, their privacy, their time and especially their freetime and you will most likely not come along as rude.
Great video! I agree with every single point you mention.
Ahh, fish and chips with malt vinegar. Heaven on a piece of paper. Maybe with a bit of dark mustard as well.
Not rude to pet a dog, just irresponsible. You do not know the dog. The dog might be a friendly pooch. It might as well not be.
As German: how are you supposed to eat chicken wings, except with your hands? The privacy thing is easily understandable: one part of Germany had an dictatorship which invaded privacy to the core, the other part had two of those. In the latter even your dad or aunt would spy on you and report you to the authorities.
Who would think being late to an appointment (or meeting w/friends) would not be rude? In the US here, but I think that is really rude.
If food can be eaten with fingers really depends on the community you're in. In my homwtown there's the unwritten rule that everything that once used zu fly (like chicken or something) it can be eaten by using the hands. To eat pizza, burger or fries without tools is also allowed in many communities I'm in. If you're not quiet shure how to behave just wait and watch the others.
i think its pretty weird that u would just go to someones dog and pet them. i mean u dont go to someones baby and just do that, right? im a dog owner and my dog doesnt like to be pet at all. he doesnt care about strangers, he just wants to walk around, sniff and get treats. i hate it when children run up to me and literally harrass my dog and forcefully pet him even tho he just want to be left alone. dogs arent stuffed animals, i think ppl forget that. also, you never know if someones dog bites or is just uncomfortable around other people. at least ask...
Well, I am a german navy officer, travelled quite the world and picked up some habbits from other cultures. So I am more open to other people, regarding the german standards. But there is something to remind you. Germans are quite honest with their opinions. So if you ask certain questions you´ll may get some answers that you find rude aswell. Or receive some questions that are as personal and maybe intimate as yours. ;-)
The dog topic is very polarising. We got three dogs. Two little ones, just as pets for our girls. but we have a big one too. A halfbreed between wolf and dog, quite cute and adorable, the kids could even ride on it, or go to sleep using its flanks as a pillow. But no stranger would ever be aloud to touch the girls, if the dog is around. So when we go out for a walk, it´s not safe for others to cuddle this dog. The topic of the puncuality is really a point.
Imagine beeing late on a business meeting or on the first job interview, what impression would that have on your partners?
Beeing late on private invitations is quite simillar. Imagine you invite sb for dinner, coffee or a barbeque you have the setting ready, the food on the stove, or the fire burning and the person won´t arrive at the right time....? That would be really disapointing and not very polite. stay safe and healthy out there you and your cute growing family..... greetings
How to determine whether to eat with cutlery or not: Are you in a formal surrounding, expensive restaurant etc? Use Cutlery, or simply watch the others - even in good restaurants taking bread with your hands is okay. Are you at McDonalds or something similar? Use your hands (except for the salad). Are you out with friends and the food is mostly dry and won't get your hands dirty? (apple, dry cake, nuts, fries, crispy pizza, doughnuts, chips..) Use your hands. Is the food greasy, has a sauce, frosting or could fall apart easily, use cutlery. I think you get the picture - keep hands away from moist foods, don't make a mess, don't suck or lick food or grease from your hands, it looks disgusting and really ill-bred.
I am German and i do not like eating with my fingers, then I don't like dirty fingers, so I have also my pizza, my burger and my chicken with knife and fork. My parents also ate their bread with knife and fork
Bread with bread and knife, wow!!!
@@lilg2300 Yes, when I was a kid, my parents also told us to eat bread with knife and fork but only when we were in a restaurant or hotel. Nowadays, I think that it's no longer done.
Hi. I am a german dog owner and I really have no problem with someone petting my dog but I must admit german dog owners can be a bit weird with that situation. Its 50/50. I have a lot of situation where I want to pet another dog and the owner gets all akward about it and there are situation when the owner is really happy about it. I always try to break the ice with a compliment how cute the dog is and from the reaction I know right away if its ok to pet the dog....But if someone is not used to this social etikette then it could become a weird situation....As always great content the 5 Things are well researched and true alot of times...Weird german habits....
I'm new to dog ownership and people pet my dod all the time, but she's a puppy and I'm always worried she will bite them, so I cross over the road when I see other dog owners coming. Any people that come near me will start conversations, which I found difficult at first (I'm quite reserved), but I'm getting used to it now. I'm in the UK.
@@LouiseFranksArt Since covid there are a lot of new dog owners out there...And a lot of them are a little bit inscure its their frist dog most of the times....But I think it is still one of the best ways to meet people and make friends...as akward as this may sound to you...you will love it one day...
Hey, it sounds like I should just pack my bags and move to Germany Lol. apart from eating with your hands, which I'm guilty of, everything else that you pointed out was pretty how much how I am, naturally at least. I live in north of UK, where people are exceptionally friendly, compared to south of England, so it took a while to get used to things like personal and probing questions. Funnily enough though, I did once meet an exceptionally overbearing and over-personal German lady on a cruise once - which I found extremely uncomfortable! So, I guess these people do exist, even in Germany - you just mustn't have met them yet LOL. I've been to Germany once, to a place called St Goarhausen, or something like that. Spent time going round small towns and visiting old castles etc. Loved it, but hated the food, which I found really bland and boring, with no salad and barely nany veg. I ended up going to a local supermarket and getting some fruit and veg LOL. Maybe it was just the hotel I stayed at?
Hey Louise, German traditional cousine is rather meaty. So if you are vegetarian or vegan, there are not many options in sense of traditional food. Depending on the region you stay, there may be some dishes like Käsepätzle or Spätzle mit Linsen (cheese or lentil spaetzle). But otherwise try an Italian or Asian restaurant in small towns. In bigger cities it's easier to find vegetarian or vegan restaurants.
@@TinaH302 We stayed in the south at a place called St Goarshausen, or something like that.We were supposed to be going back (but to a different region) in April 2020, but we all know what happened to that holiday LOL.May go back to Germany next year instead.
We dont need signs on a vending machine to know that it can crush us. Just approach and use it accordingly. The same goes with horses or any animal.
My girlfriends dog was 50 kilo pure bone and muskle and even trained for police work and such a darling.
The dog thing is both about safety/responsibility (in case the dog may feel threatened and maybe bite) and personal boundaries, as a pet dog is considered part of your private/intimate sphere, and petting it whithout asking feels like an intrusion into that private sphere, kinda like opening a door without knocking. Eating with your hands is dependent on the food in question: Hamburgers, chicken wings, sausage rolls? No problem! Fried fish, currywurst or anything greasy/saucy that doesn't come in a sandwich but is served with cutlery? Use cutlery when in doubt? Soups and salads....okay, sorry, I'm just making funnies!
not a dog owner, but my friend's dog is pretty old and has a bad back, so people are not allowed to touch him, since he will attack because people touching hurts him. you never know those stories beforehand so it's better to ask the owner😌
the eating with hands thing could also be a generation thing? I'm in my 20's and eat pizza and all that with my hands.. there are people that even eat hamburgers with a knife and fork which is just😵
punctuality is all about respecting someone's time I think.. life is short and you could be doing something else instead of sitting around, waiting ;)
Chicken wings ARE allowed to be eaten with your hands here. All manners guide books allow that. And fast food like hamburgers are also allowed. Plus so called finger food is meant to be eaten by hand.
Ich glaube auch dass Hundebesitzer es nicht unbedingt unhöflich finden aber es kann gefährlich sein und deshalb zieht der Hundebesitzer den Hund weg
Bis zum 15 Minuten später zu kommen ist auch in Deutschland noch einigermaßen akzeptabel - wenn man sich dafür entschuldigt - wofür es die geläufige Bezeichnung "Akkademisches-Viertel" gibt, aber es sollte nicht zur Gewohnheit werden!
Es kommt auch auf den Anlass der Einladung an. Wenn man sich einfach zum Kaffeetrinken trifft, ist es nicht so schlimm. Wenn man sich zum Essen trifft (der Gastgeber hat gekocht), ist eine Verspätung sehr ärgerlich. Und bei einer Party gibt es eh kein exaktes "von - bis", und viele kommen etwas später, um nicht die Ersten zu sein...
Number 5 is by far the most important rule. It can not be stressed enough. Other than that, yeah we need some time to warm up with strangers.
So true !!
Oh so thrue. ... but not the first point. I think it depends on where you're. I don't live in a city. And we always talk to people at the street about baby or dogs. But we don't pet a dog without asking if it's OK.
Not even the germans have invented a method to eat chicken wings effectively with knife and fork. I guess it depends on the type of restaurant you're in. In the classic bavarian inn nobody would bat an eye if you used your fingers (however, it is meanwhile considered rude to stick your face directly into the food):
I'm never light for an appointed. Your accent is awesome.
I'm aussie, I agree with the germans on all points except for the eating with your hands
I don't find any of these things rude except for the dog petting but that I would rather call thoughtless than rude. Same reasons Laurin said. :)
The last point of, dont be late for a friends house or yk, is just fine here in germany
As long as your not late for 1 hour
I am a native German, however have lived in US, for the majority of my life. I have a Great Dane dog, who goes with me everywhere. People feel as though, they can touch and pet her, without even say a word to me! She is at most adults waist, in height, so they feel free to touch her, when just passing by, as if she were a statue! Anyone else have this phenomenon?
When I was a child in the 1970's it was still regarded as normal to eat poultry with the hands in Germany.
Interesting video.
Petting stranger's dogs without asking isn't as much a privacy thing, it's a matter of respect and even more importantly, doing it without asking can be dangerous and get everyone involved (you, the owner and depending on the damage caused, even the dog) into trouble. The owner is liable for damage caused by their dog so it's just natural you should at least ask before getting close to an animal you don't know the personality of. (Plus idk how that is in other countries but when it comes to Germany, shelter dogs are quite common here. They're often traumatized especially with strangers and can snap without warning if you're just come close to them too suddenly.
Talking too loud in public: As someone very sensitive to all kinds of noises, I always appreciate when people in public keep their volume on a moderate level. If they don't I sometimes think "Wow is THAT how you're communicating at home as well? For the sake of your neighbours, I sure hope it's not"... Most of the things you mention are just simple forms of respect. For the noise part, we're getting taught right from the start to be considerate of our surroundings (even though that seems to get less important to parents lately, which like you can imagine, is horrible for sensitive people, stressed people etc.). Yes we're also so private as to not wanting to learn about the personal or work-related drama other people on the train are going through, and at least in my case, part of it is also to consider how many people using public transport with me are doing so for work, are stressed anyway already, might just be getting home from a long exhausting shift and wish to relax a little at least on their way...
Eating w/ fingers: It still depends. Obviously fast food is something else than expensive restaurant meals.
To me personally eating almost everything with my hands would just feel gross no matter how much I wash them beforehand. I also don't like have too much fat dripping all over my fingers like I would with many pizzas for example. After all, I personally think cutlery was invented for a reason, so I can as well just use it XD
(When it comes to your example, even I would eat these things with my fingers. But you can still do this in a respectful way. Like you've described your friends behaviour, that's just totally inappropriate at a restaurant imho. ^^°)
And yes, ofc being (much too) late is considered rude...? People, be it at their work or in private, are making time for you. They might still have other plans after your visit, that could get messed up if you're showing up super late. Especially in a working environment people often have packed schedules with barely any space for changes (e.g. doctor's appointments). In these cases you'd just be causing avoidable extra stress for the people whose help you require. (Here in Germany, doctors often are quite overworked without people messing up their schedules, to keep with this example...)
Eating with your hand is not rude, only bad manners - except it is "finger food". In that case it would be bad manners to use fork and knife.
But it is also officially good manners to eat chicken wings or chicken legs of a baked or roasted chicken with your hands (but only if served without sauce), but many Germans do not know this. In some restaurants they put little paper cuffs on the chicken legs where you can handle it without getting greasy fingers to show you: eat it with your hands, and in upper-class restaurants you get a bowl with water and some lemon to clean your fingers, also signalizing: Use your hands, it is o.k.
Street food on the other hand you can always eat as you like.
If pizza comes pre-cut into slices you are free to take the slices with your fingers (as long as you not let the toppings drop all over), but if you have to slice it yourself you are expected to use fork and knife to eat it. Elsässer Flammkuchen you usually eat with your fingers, too, even if served with fork and knife.
Spare rips ,chips, grilled chicken, pizza , pork knuckle even spaghetti ( don't quote me on this) are considered finger food in your private home in most parts of Germany. But be aware of the etiquette in restaurants or even at friends places. If there is a beautiful white table cloth and a 1200 threat count napkin on the table you should consider digging your head and hands into the Chinese porcelain. LOL
I am a German, but I've probably lived abroad for too long - none of these apply to me. Except for the last one! :D
I'll be forgiving if someone is late and lets me know he won't make it time. Otherwise I'll be annoyed. It works the other way rund as well. I'm living in Cyprus where punctuality is oftentimes not considered as important. Once I asked an electrician for a quote for a bigger job and he was 20 min late. However, he had called me beforehand to let me know he'd be late. That made me trust him enough to not even ask others for quotes for comparison as I had usually done.
To be in time in Germany show up 15 minutes earlier, or as another commet below stated: 5 minutes before the time is the germans accuracy.
Hi.
Dog and baby/child, too. Ask the adult, if it's okay to pet or to take a closer look.
In general it's all about who, where, what and sometimes when. "Finger food" at Mc is concept, in a restaurant not. Mussels e.g.: first with fork and the rest with the first shell. The brew with a spoon and/or dipped pieces of bread by hand or spoon, too . Pizza street food: 👐 restaurant: 🍴
Tip: 1st time watch and copy the locals. Stress free and some new experiences. 2nd time your decision.
Greeting
Things like pizza, burgers is usually also eaten with hands here in Germany. At least from what I know. Maybe not in fine restaurants. Fish & Chips must be a UK import to New Zealand😁 With the dogs I haven't noticed too much, but yeah, guess have to ask before.
First of all: thank you for your videos about your life here in Germany. I'm a German myself and it's always funny, interesting and enriching to hear about a non native experiences with german culture.
Without further ado, let's get to point 3. Imagine like 30 - 40 people (or even more) riding a bus and everyone is talking loud to one another. Or even worse (in my opinion) a full set restaurant (do you say 'full set' - voll besetzt - in english?) The sound of the voices adds up to an almost unbearable amount where you almost have to shout to each other to understand a thing. It's not only about not wanting to hear a strangers life story, but the loudness is even worse. At least that's it for me.
Germans punctuallity... some times we overdo it, I think. But sometimes it's a good and almost necessary thing. When you meet at a friends place just for hanging out, have a drink, have a coffee, I think you don't need to be right on the dot (nice phrase by the way) It's a chill thing, no stress involved, so why should I stress myself about the exact time? It's a little different when you're waiting for sth like a train or a movie, but most of the time it's annoying needing to be right on time.
A different situation are official appointements like a doctor visit. Most parts of Germany are pretty densely populated, so it's likely that you are not the only one visiting the doctor, the coffieur, the whatever that day. We need a certain efficency to service all the people in the country. A dentist in my hometown putted it in a nutshell. He served: First, people with appointment being on time. Second, people without an appointment. Third, people with an appointment not being on time.
Sorry for the long comment and I hope I didn't butcher the english language to badly ;)
Have a good one and stay safe :)