@@lorilancaster5917lol I had a pet rock that was “shaped like dinosaur egg” (it was just a long oval). I’m imagining Dino willing himself to hatch and scramble away like a demented anole.
Story 1: OP is a legend. I'm a single Mom who never received child support or even had the option of introducing my daughter to her run away father. I never talked badly about him other than to tell her that his absence had nothing to do with her. It's just a bad look to run down your child's other parent.
@@dcg590 he was never Mr. Right. He was Mr. Right now. We had an oops and he chose not to participate.. Ran away before child support caught up with him. How they couldn't find a government employee, I don't know. Yea Justice Department.
If you plan a romantic trip but are guilted into taking your toddler and then your MIL. Then instead of 2 rioms she books 1. Whch defeats the romantic part of the trip.
Everything that bothered the husband about his MIL was brought on by the fact that that she (queen freeloader) shouldn't have been there in the first place. Why would a sane person insert themselves into their daughter's romantic getaway to Venice. SMH. An even bigger issue is that his wife thought it was a good idea and said she could come without discussing it with the husband who is paying for everything. Time to have a serious talk with his wife. If she doesn't want to be a wife to her husband then maybe it's time to cut her loose. She seems to think her mother comes before her husband. If that is the case, she can go live with mom.
Mil on holiday - he should have put his foot down and not allowed mil to go with them. I would certainly not have shared a room with my mil, that’s ridiculous.
This and it's almost hilerious how Reddit is downplaying it "Ow you left your wife because your MIL sat on your bed? " Yeah if you just IGNORE all the other stuff
'your wife needs to know your medical history' I believe that is meant for allergies, recurring health issues with limbs or organs, and major life-changing surgeries like a bypass, not something you got treated for at 4 and has no effect now.
it's a literal umbillical hernia that was surgically repaired when he was a toddler. it's not like it was major heart surgery or a transplant. it's not life changing. there was no need to bring it up.
He did not force anything. He didn’t want the mother in law there. Op you shouldn’t have gone at all since she decided to bring her mom on the romantic trip you wanted. Everyone getting upset with Op would you want to want to share a room with your mother in law? Especially when you wanted a romantic trip with your spouse? BS to anyone who says yes.
100% this. I knew the comments were going to tear into him about halfway through the story because OP is a man. When he found out they had a single room with two queen beds he should have just opted out and made sure his money was inaccessible to anyone that was going.
OP should have said “money I work for pays for this, so I get to say no to your mother mother going and you get to say yes dear, that’s understandable. Otherwise, we don’t go at all. Your choice. ROMANTIC vacation with no one else, or no vacation at all.”
I'm a widow. But, if hubby and I had ever gone on a vacation like that, there's NO WAY I would have wanted to share the space with either of our mothers. Recently, I had a chicken abandon her nest. I ended up hatching the eggs in an incubator and raising the chicks in the house until they were 5.5 weeks old. I was so happy to have them out of the house. Ducks are even worse! I don't have ducks for a reason!
Yeah, any fowl in the house is going to be a mess. Why the sis and husband feel this is OK is beyond me. If they aren't the home owners then they are up for some steep charges on cleaning (or eviction). In any event the place is unlivable and OP is right to voice his serious concerns.
Get some Muscovy ducks. They won't abandon their nests haha they're fierce mothers. They're also not as noisy or quite as messy as normal ducks. That being said, fowl should not be kept in the damn house. They can't be house trained and I don't even wanna think about the mess three ducks would make inside 😂😂 When I was a little kid, we had these little pekin hens and one of them would always fly in through my parents bedroom window and lay an egg on or under their bed 😂😂 Though she would also poop in there too so it wasn't ideal 😂😂
@@dizzysdoings I didn't say they weren't messy, I said they were less messy than normal ducks. I much prefer them to normal ducks myself but they're not for everyone 😂😂
Story 2: The family are not the A-holes. If I were the family, I'd call code enforcement now. Call CPS when sister is further along, like 8 months pregnant.
Oh lord. I bet the sis is delusional and thinks this is a perfectly fine environment to raise a child and it won’t affect their physical or mental health at all. 🙄
I feel like the parents telling their plan only makes the sister cut them off and not fix her situation. Hopefully OP reads these comments and contacts animal control
Italy trip: For all the people calling Op TA are also moochers. I feel the same way as Op. If I'm paying for a romantic trip but then my MIL was invited I would be upset. Me, i'd say, you guys have fun. It no longer becomes fun when you have an intrusive MIL in your business. Also, a lot of people don't like people sitting on their made bed, we just don't so no, Op is NTA.
I didn't even share toothpaste with my ex-husband. And if they were supposed to be having a romantic getaway, sharing a hotel room with mommy isn't going to work. OP's wife didn't want a romantic trip. She wanted her mommy. The only thing he could have done better is if he took the kid back with him I guarantee his wife was only angry because he left the daughter, spoiling her vacation with her mother.
Leaving the kid limited her ability to behave badly... though I would have taken my kid, gotten an emergency custody order, and changed the locks on the house. That marriage is cooked anyway.
Toxoplasmosis will only harm the unborn IF the mother catches it during pregnancy for the FIRST time. Someone who has owned cats for a long time very likely has had it already and therefore has antibodies. No, you likely would not notice it, the symptoms for an adult are pretty much that of a common cold. Yes, there are tests available to see whether a person already had it. They still should clean the house before the baby is born.
That man should have never had the mil and kiddo on their romantic trip to Venice. I think he was mad about that and everything else was passive aggressive bs because he couldn't say no.
Yeah, that's the impression I got. I think his mood was already a problem when MIL didn't want to watch the kid and wanted to come instead and OP let wifey handle it all instead of backing out of the now defunct "romantic holiday" 😆
This ! Those redditors that criticized OP are bat$$t crazy , the wife wanted a vacation with her and her mother to Venice 🙄. Who wants their mil along always in and out of their bedroom for stupid reasons , every damn person going on trips carry their own toiletries 🙄,
Vacation story: love that XO didn’t include the update to this story. OP attempted to call his wife to apologize but has been blocked. MIL called him and informed him that wife would be looking in to divorce when she returned from the trip.
Oh damn, I hope OP has a good lawyer because if not the wife and MIL are gonna take him for everything, milk him dry with alimony and child support, and his daughter, once she’s old enough will resent and hate him for “abandoning her mom.” I’m not trying to sound sexist but I’ve heard enough stories like this to know where it’s going.
@@ivy456exactly, literally stormed off and ignored his wife instead of just saying “hey maybe let’s buy some extra stuff for your mom so we don’t all have to share”
We had a pet duck once, she lived in the garden quite happily with the dog, the cat, the rabbit, and the tortoise! She used to occasionally come into the kitchen to steal the cat's food, but nothing else, and we made sure she didn't make any mess. Most unhygienic to let them wander around the house, especially with those other pets!
Apparently, the commentors missed the part about the roommates being told about the situation and thinking it's no big deal. Ick! I know I'm not going to clean up the shower after a couple had fun time in it. People being nasty is a justifiable reason to move out.
Story 5: NTA, they made your living situation intolerable, you had to find a way out of the lease. It isn't your fault they were openly violating the lease.] Story 5 (last comment): OP tried to handle it with a talk, Vera refused to talk it out and correct her (and her boyfriend's) behavior, and Sara basically said "I am not involved".
OP probably should have talked to the landlord about getting replaced on the lease without reporting that the BF already moved in. Maybe even switching OP out for BF on the lease. The landlord generally doesn't care as long as the rent is paid and the apartment is maintained.
@@patrickdix772If OP's roommates hadn't acted so dismissive of her complaints (being that she paid to live there while the boyfriends did not), they probably would've worked something out. But as soon as they acted like her opinion didn't matter, they asked for it. And if you don't want to lose your place to live, don't argue with your roommate when you are actively breaking the lease. They forced her out of the place she was living with their behavior. They got what they gave.
Sorry, but it's the wife that's the idiot in the vacation story, not OP mil shouldnt have been there to begin with. The wife had no business inviting her on a trip that was meant to be a romantic getaway for them. And since she did, why tf would she only book one roon for them all? Seriously, the OP shouldn't have had to fix wifes screw ups.
Seriously what is wrong with the comments on the Venice story??? They just intentionally ignore OPs points and focus on the dumb part. Sharing a room with your mother in law is the stuff from nightmares. And really OP didn't abandoned his wife alone with a child, the MIL is there already
I have a similar situation like Story 2 I actually had a ex that had a bunch of animals in the house, including a duck and her room smelled absolutely disgusting, but I decided to overlook it because I did care for her but we broke up and that’s the biggest thing I DONT miss oh and there were tons of people in the house too so it was a bit cramped
Did I seriously read that wife booked ONE room for herself, her husband, her daughter and her mother? Jesus that is gross. Did OP and his wife get dressed and undressed in front of MIL? Who does that? Disgusting! No wonder OP left.
Dude no offense but if you don’t want to waste money, you’ll get a room with two queens. I grew up doing this on vacations with my family. Also all hotel rooms have bathrooms, they’re probably not changing in front of each other.
Venice trip. ESH and more the wife than OP. She dreamed about a romantic vacation with her mommy in tow? Imagine how the reaction would have been if OP was the woman and here husband brought his mommy along on a romantic vacation.
This is a prime example of the gender double-standard on Reddit. If you reversed the gender all of those people would absolutely have the opposite opinion.
Story 2. I have only 1 cat, dog, and toddler and it's so much work. I can't imagine taking care of all those lives. If you emotionally or physically abandon an animal for a child the animal might become violent. It is dangerous.
What's most galling is if she were a man she'd be in prison for non-payment or at the very least having her wages garnished which would wind up the same place eventually.
@bhart3321 I think they get arrested if the other person bothers to fight for it. I don't think they (the government) are taking proper track of it. It sounds like dad isn't fighting for the payments. Otherwise, it wouldn't be so common.
OP says they went to live Dad because living with Mom was difficult. Never said she was mean or a bad parent. She was a single parent supporting 4 kids with a fast food job. So kids go with Dad who can supply more. Sounds like Dad was the one doing the alienating. I'm only going by what's told in the story. Not fair that it wasn't 50/50 when she had money to care for them evenly.
Your sister won't be a good mother if she couldn't even house train the dogs and cats. And having ducks inside is just stupid. You can't house train them. Living in a house with animal feces everywhere sounds like she is too lazy to even clean up after her animals. What does that mean for a baby with a dirty diaper? She has shown she is not responsible enough to be a mother. She can't even take care of her pets correctly.
Hernia issue: I had the same problem and I was married twice and never told anyone. Why? It's not like it's something that I can pass down or could threaten my sons life. The wife is being way over dramatic. Op should just stay away from her for a while and let her do her own research and she'll get over it eventually.
Why should the op be okay with his mother in law going through his things and using his damn toothpaste? 🤨 Three adults don’t need to be sharing one tube of toothpaste, I don’t know why MIL wouldn’t bring her own. Honestly op should separate from his wife and co-parent if this is going to keep being a problem.
The thing i found odd was that she's 5 years old and can't just stay MILs house bc she needy like she they havent taught her that she cant get everything she wants. MIL makes the situation worse by inviting herself onto a trip so the parents still haven't learned a lesson about saying no to their kid.
I HATE people in my personal space, when travelling that would definitely be my suitcase. I don't want people knowing some details of my life with exceptions and one of those would be medication and my undergarments. That first boundry being crossed would be close to my breaking point but sharing a room?? Nope. Sharing mouth bacteria with my MiL? No way, if I tried talking about personal boundaries and got shut down like it seems OP did I'd be gone too lol. Classic "if the genders were reversed situation"
So the vacation story. That is proof right there alone that men are not allowed to have small Petty boundaries but women can have all the Petty boundaries in existence
S3 - Next time OP hears something about his wife's childhood, he ought to (pretend) get upset because she failed to mention it to him before. Good grief! What an overreaction.
S3: If it were a genetic condition that would be passed on to their kids, I'd see her point. if it were going to impact him later in life, i'd see her point. But it's neither. Is he obligated to disclose every root canal and dental surgery? It's basically that level of routine, so... she's out of line. When would that have come up?
Vacation story: I totally understand the frustration and annoyance OP felt. However it seems a conversation could have been had before he just up and left the country. The money used to buy a new plane tickets could have been used to book another room for MIL. He could have taken his MIL aside and let her know this was meant to be a romantic vacation for him and his wife and he would like it if she didn’t come to their room as often or took the child out on her own so they could get some alone time. Also, as a parent it’s wildly irresponsible to block the other parent when you’re upset. There was an update to this story. Once he unblocked his wife she told him she’d be filing for divorce once she got back.
NTA for not wanting to share a romantic vacation with MIL and having to share your personal space with a person who not only was uninvited but also who invaded your items more than once.
Story #2: NTA!! DANG!! Has your sister ever seen the television show Hoarders!! It has featured people that lost their kids because they wouldn't clean their homes. One couple's son stayed in the hospital because of respiratory and lung problems due to mold and roaches everywhere.
S1: NTA. Not only does mom not pay child support, but she can’t really think she’s the better parent when ALL 4 KIDS chose to live with dad and not her. Epic response from OP.
The vacation story: Reddit need to stop making the dude the bad guy because if the situation was reversed and he was the one that bought his mom and his wife decided to leave they will be calling the wife NTA and call OP a mama's boy
Apparently we're just supposed to sit back let anything happen to us that's going to happen and never complain about anything or otherwise we are misogynistic a-holes and deserve to be divorced and have everything taken from us
@beaugreenwood712 yes because she as a woman and mother is incapable of taking care of herself or the child in another country, I mean we all know that she needs a man to take care of her... see what I said sounds just as stupid as your comment
He was only an AH for not putting his foot down when his wife invited MIL. Venice was meant to be a romantic holiday only for his wife to sabotage it every way possible. Maybe she should go back to work and remember the value of hard work and money? Yeah I know she’s a SAHM and that is tasking but the kid is getting school age.
Vacation comments were crazy. Mommy shouldn’t have been there period. It’s gross to touch let alone use others personal items without permission. Obviously none of you learned anything from the pandemic.
Yep even mother's can he deadbeats. You just don't hear about them as much as most dad's are more worried about their children.. Most ex wifes/girlfriends are more worried about backstabbing the fathers
No, you don’t hear about it much because it isn’t as common. Nice revisionist history though. All these bitter dads out here who haven’t taken care of their kids and if they do get them they get the women in their family to take care of them. They don’t even want custody. How can you backstab someone who isn’t there?
Remember men you're not allowed to have standards or boundaries with anybody including your wife and mother-in-law and it is perfectly acceptable for your wife to start screaming at you anytime she gets upset with you and if you try to leave the situation you're in a hole
One of the commentators talked about wife's " dream vacation"! What about op's dream? The original plan was just the two of them, then it was all four of them in one room, with mil rummaging in op's personal things. I can't imagine doing that with my daughters or their spouses.
@@GiordanDiodatoyou don't bring your mom and baby on a vacation meant to be a romantic interlude between you and your husband. And he didn't abandon her. He left her with her mother.
Story 2: OP would be a massive idiot if they didn't get CPS involved, and likely whatever animal protective services are in the area too. Seriously, if your family is doing horrible things to their children or pets, you are just as culpable if you fail to report it.
Last story nta thay signed the contract it was broken thay know what was could happen I fell slightly bad of the one that didn't bring the so over but she didn't stop them ether so
Story 2: that’s not an okay living situation for those animals or sis. How the hell is she going to take care of a baby in the biohazard? No one wants to call CPS on family, but clearly that woman does not need to bring a baby into the house. And absolutely the shelter and whoever else to get those animals out of there should be called as well.
The hernia story. My misses and I now we have stopped laughing are now trying to remember every single knock we have taken before we met. So far she has me beat as she broke her left leg and a week after the cast came off she was hit by a car and broke her right leg 😂😂😂😂
Sharing story, I don't share soap or toothpaste with my hubs. He should've went out and bought mil her own stuff and get her a room. Would've been better than leaving.
Your wife wanted a holiday with her mother and your children. You wanted a holiday with your wife. Were you rude? Yes, you did assert boundaries. You do not want your MIL in your personal space and to share personal hygiene products. That's your choice but you need to communicate better.
I’m not sure who needs to hear this or why they even need to hear this. If you are close enough with somebody to be in a legitimate relationship, let alone be married. Their business is your business and vice versa. Your medical history should be an open book I don’t care what your reasoning is.
Sounds to me as if the wife wanted to go to Venice but really wasn’t interested in a romantic getaway with OP! NTA but blaming MiL for the wife’s actions is stupid
if the MIL was his mom, the comments would be sooooo different lol how dare his mom sit on your bed, how dare his mom use his stuff etc we all know it BUT if they are in a different country and he left...oh boy that child is not leaving the country lol he will have yo come back so the kid can board 😂😂
Last story: OP is justified, tbh. It baffles me that grown adults need to be told not to do the thing in communal areas when you have roommates or live with family. OTHER people also have to use those communal things and its so inconsiderate to just put your naked ass on everything. Just keep it to your personal space, damn.
For the hernia story, I'm gonna say a very light idiot. Because OP had issues as a baby and she might be afraid this will happen to her child. Everyone is talking about how common it is but I, a women have never heard of it and I've heard all kinds of baby info. My mother told both me and my older sister all about the bad and good parts of her pregnancy and birth experience so we would be prepared. I was there when my sister gave birth to both her children. Ive heard about cousins children being born with this and that and yet I have never once heard of a belly button hernia, especially not one that required surgery. If my partner brought it up I'd be passed. (He's adopted though so I am well aware rhat our child will forever have some medical mysteries.
As I know it. Where the umbilical cord falls off and closes to "make" the bellybutton. Doesn't close/ doesn't close as quickly as supposed to. I had this but didn't need surgery. My hubby needed surgery for his. All 3 of our kids took longer to close as well. I am the only 1 that doesn't have an innie. Mine is half and half. After my 3rd,I asked their Dr. They only said they could be hereditary. 5 for 5?? I'm glad only hubby needed surgery to fix it. Edit. Oh and I have 6 siblings. There are almost 30 grandkids. My family are the only out of us all. My uncle (Dr) told my mom to have me suck in my belly. It will help it close. So it did. I don't think hubby had anyone telling him to "suck it in". Lol
It isn't a complication of pregnancy and doesn't endanger or affect the mother at all. And honestly, if she hasn't heard of it, she hasn't paid attention or researched what can happen in infancy very well. Not his fault.
You don’t even know what it is because if you don’t you’d know that it’s not a dangerous genetic condition. Would he need to mention getting his tonsils removed? Why are y’all acting like he didn’t tell her he had lupus or something? This is weird.
Vacation. Not wanting your mil there is fair. But jc he should have put a stop to it in the beginning. Or booked another room. The toothpaste and the bed? Nah he just doenst like mil or want her to be there. Which okay, sure. But getting mad and leaving your wife and child in a different country??? Unacceptable.
Vacation story I think op needs to be honest. I’m reading it as he was upset that mil even went in what was supposed to be a romantic trip. When women post that their so invited their mum on a romantic trip Reddit says he is a mummy’s boy and to dump his a$$. I’m not surprised that here the genders are reversed so the bloke is still wrong.
Dude, did you seriously film a family chilling in their bathing suits in a secluded little rock grove? That's not cool. See how they're looking back at you? They're uncomfortable and should not have been included in your video. Stop filming like a creepy stalker and be more careful how you use the footage you've collected. And you should be getting permission from anyone in your video footage who's close enough to be identifiable. I realize there's no expectation of privacy when you're out in public like that, but it's not cool to use footage of people without their permission, when they're personally identifiable or caught off guard like that. Hope you never come near *me* with that camera.
Story 4: last comment sums it up. OP went nuclear and it probably wasn’t necessary. Honestly it’s super vague if the problems continued after OP brought them up, or if it was just a case of “what do you mean my roommates aren’t going to react how i deem ‘appropriate’…. Well fuck this (hits the big red button)”
Were you one of those people who let their creepy boyfriend make your roommates uncomfortable? Did you ignore requests from your roommates eventhough you were breaking the lease? If you blow off your PAYING roommates concerns in favor of someone that is not even supposed to be staying there, you bought your own trouble. This is a good lesson for those girls. Your visitors aren't more important than the people on the lease.
@@johnbriggs1038 again the wording is very unclear if the issues persisted after being brought up. If they did then that's a problem. If it happened once then OP blowing the situation WAY out of proportion. Like the BF still doesn't come off in the best light, but it's unreasonable to expect everyone to react like the sky is falling every time you are mild to moderately inconvenienced.
The MIL is not there to provide childcare. She is there vacationing with the daughter and OP on what was supposed to be a romantic vacation for the daughter and OP. She shouldn't be there in the first place.
I find the roommates story weird. Like... how could they have besmirched the shower that badly? Did they not run the water? Couldn't OP have just left when she started hearing it? I have so many questions. The other stuff with Oli would have been enough but the shower thing seems so... OP's problem?? I still don't know how they could have possibly "messed it up" beyond normal showering unless Oli has the equivalent of a porcine length finish like a fire extinguisher going off for 30 minutes...
Story 1: I'm wondering how an accountant has a hard time finding a job? I mean 3 months of doing tax prep could set her up for most of the year if she budgets right. And _all_ the kids bail as soon as they could? I'm sensing a sugar problem or general dishonesty.
I worked in Accounting for years then moved out of my state. I had to take menial jobs for over a year before I could find another Accounting job. Not all companies use the same Accounting software and also they deal with taxes and tax laws which change all the time. It's expensive and not easy to keep up with that.
Story 2: How can she be a good mom if she's not even a good pet owner??
I’m imagining if she has pets rocks and they’re trying to run away.
@@lorilancaster5917lol I had a pet rock that was “shaped like dinosaur egg” (it was just a long oval). I’m imagining Dino willing himself to hatch and scramble away like a demented anole.
Story 1: OP is a legend. I'm a single Mom who never received child support or even had the option of introducing my daughter to her run away father. I never talked badly about him other than to tell her that his absence had nothing to do with her. It's just a bad look to run down your child's other parent.
Wow you picked a winner
@@dcg590 he was never Mr. Right. He was Mr. Right now. We had an oops and he chose not to participate.. Ran away before child support caught up with him. How they couldn't find a government employee, I don't know. Yea Justice Department.
If you plan a romantic trip but are guilted into taking your toddler and then your MIL. Then instead of 2 rioms she books 1. Whch defeats the romantic part of the trip.
A 5 yr old is not a toddler.
@@nannettepolcastro4799yes they are
Everything that bothered the husband about his MIL was brought on by the fact that that she (queen freeloader) shouldn't have been there in the first place. Why would a sane person insert themselves into their daughter's romantic getaway to Venice. SMH. An even bigger issue is that his wife thought it was a good idea and said she could come without discussing it with the husband who is paying for everything. Time to have a serious talk with his wife. If she doesn't want to be a wife to her husband then maybe it's time to cut her loose. She seems to think her mother comes before her husband. If that is the case, she can go live with mom.
Hey, just because her magic ATM pays for things doesn't mean it gets an opinion.
Mil on holiday - he should have put his foot down and not allowed mil to go with them. I would certainly not have shared a room with my mil, that’s ridiculous.
This and it's almost hilerious how Reddit is downplaying it "Ow you left your wife because your MIL sat on your bed? "
Yeah if you just IGNORE all the other stuff
Belly button story: I love "when would I have brought that up?" 😅
OP… when I was 1 month I vomited
When I was 3 months I scratched myself
when I was 2 I bumped my knee.
Etc
Etc 😂
Etc
🙄
'your wife needs to know your medical history' I believe that is meant for allergies, recurring health issues with limbs or organs, and major life-changing surgeries like a bypass, not something you got treated for at 4 and has no effect now.
it's a literal umbillical hernia that was surgically repaired when he was a toddler. it's not like it was major heart surgery or a transplant. it's not life changing. there was no need to bring it up.
My husband had one and, at the same age, as OP had his. My husband is 45 now, and we never bring it up except for anecdotally.
He did not force anything. He didn’t want the mother in law there. Op you shouldn’t have gone at all since she decided to bring her mom on the romantic trip you wanted. Everyone getting upset with Op would you want to want to share a room with your mother in law? Especially when you wanted a romantic trip with your spouse? BS to anyone who says yes.
And what man wants to share a motel room with their mother in law?? Where's the romance in that??
100% this. I knew the comments were going to tear into him about halfway through the story because OP is a man. When he found out they had a single room with two queen beds he should have just opted out and made sure his money was inaccessible to anyone that was going.
@@johnowen9349I say this as a woman.
I 100% agree
OP should have said “money I work for pays for this, so I get to say no to your mother mother going and you get to say yes dear, that’s understandable. Otherwise, we don’t go at all. Your choice. ROMANTIC vacation with no one else, or no vacation at all.”
You guys are just plain nuts!!! What weird people this world has.
I'm a widow. But, if hubby and I had ever gone on a vacation like that, there's NO WAY I would have wanted to share the space with either of our mothers.
Recently, I had a chicken abandon her nest. I ended up hatching the eggs in an incubator and raising the chicks in the house until they were 5.5 weeks old. I was so happy to have them out of the house.
Ducks are even worse! I don't have ducks for a reason!
Ducks are poop machines
Yeah, any fowl in the house is going to be a mess. Why the sis and husband feel this is OK is beyond me. If they aren't the home owners then they are up for some steep charges on cleaning (or eviction). In any event the place is unlivable and OP is right to voice his serious concerns.
Get some Muscovy ducks. They won't abandon their nests haha they're fierce mothers. They're also not as noisy or quite as messy as normal ducks. That being said, fowl should not be kept in the damn house. They can't be house trained and I don't even wanna think about the mess three ducks would make inside 😂😂
When I was a little kid, we had these little pekin hens and one of them would always fly in through my parents bedroom window and lay an egg on or under their bed 😂😂 Though she would also poop in there too so it wasn't ideal 😂😂
@FireAndBlood96 I don't like Muscovy ducks. And they can be messy.
@@dizzysdoings I didn't say they weren't messy, I said they were less messy than normal ducks. I much prefer them to normal ducks myself but they're not for everyone 😂😂
Story 2: The family are not the A-holes. If I were the family, I'd call code enforcement now. Call CPS when sister is further along, like 8 months pregnant.
Oh lord. I bet the sis is delusional and thinks this is a perfectly fine environment to raise a child and it won’t affect their physical or mental health at all. 🙄
I feel like the parents telling their plan only makes the sister cut them off and not fix her situation. Hopefully OP reads these comments and contacts animal control
@lorilancaster5917 animal control will only take the animals. Code enforcement will make them fix the house and call animal control.
Has the family offered to help?? That would be nice instead of calling CPS.
@@arleneclark6369help how? By tossing her in a rubber room while they clean her hoarder den?
Italy trip: For all the people calling Op TA are also moochers. I feel the same way as Op. If I'm paying for a romantic trip but then my MIL was invited I would be upset. Me, i'd say, you guys have fun. It no longer becomes fun when you have an intrusive MIL in your business. Also, a lot of people don't like people sitting on their made bed, we just don't so no, Op is NTA.
I didn't even share toothpaste with my ex-husband. And if they were supposed to be having a romantic getaway, sharing a hotel room with mommy isn't going to work. OP's wife didn't want a romantic trip. She wanted her mommy. The only thing he could have done better is if he took the kid back with him I guarantee his wife was only angry because he left the daughter, spoiling her vacation with her mother.
Leaving the kid limited her ability to behave badly... though I would have taken my kid, gotten an emergency custody order, and changed the locks on the house. That marriage is cooked anyway.
“You want mommy so bad? Ok, I’ll send you back to mommy to finish growing up after you sign these divorce papers.”
Toxoplasmosis will only harm the unborn IF the mother catches it during pregnancy for the FIRST time. Someone who has owned cats for a long time very likely has had it already and therefore has antibodies. No, you likely would not notice it, the symptoms for an adult are pretty much that of a common cold. Yes, there are tests available to see whether a person already had it.
They still should clean the house before the baby is born.
Wife has an issue you didn't tell her about a surgery for a hernia when you were 4. Who evens talks about something so minor from when they were 4.
And the wife even got a favorable comment. I had to laugh.
That man should have never had the mil and kiddo on their romantic trip to Venice. I think he was mad about that and everything else was passive aggressive bs because he couldn't say no.
I think he has germaphobia.
Yeah, that's the impression I got. I think his mood was already a problem when MIL didn't want to watch the kid and wanted to come instead and OP let wifey handle it all instead of backing out of the now defunct "romantic holiday" 😆
He should have deferred the trip to much later, say, a significant wedding anniversary. Not a destination for kids or MILs.
XO didn’t include the update, wife is filing for divorce.
This ! Those redditors that criticized OP are bat$$t crazy , the wife wanted a vacation with her and her mother to Venice 🙄. Who wants their mil along always in and out of their bedroom for stupid reasons , every damn person going on trips carry their own toiletries 🙄,
Vacation story: love that XO didn’t include the update to this story. OP attempted to call his wife to apologize but has been blocked. MIL called him and informed him that wife would be looking in to divorce when she returned from the trip.
Good cos OP needs away from that harpy. MIL and wife wanted a free vacation for themselves.
Oh damn, I hope OP has a good lawyer because if not the wife and MIL are gonna take him for everything, milk him dry with alimony and child support, and his daughter, once she’s old enough will resent and hate him for “abandoning her mom.” I’m not trying to sound sexist but I’ve heard enough stories like this to know where it’s going.
I guess wife and mommy will be happy together while the poor idiot husband pays for everything. I wonder why the wife agreed to get married?
Well good OP overreacted way too much
@@ivy456exactly, literally stormed off and ignored his wife instead of just saying “hey maybe let’s buy some extra stuff for your mom so we don’t all have to share”
I was down with the dogs and cats, but screamed when I heard DUCKS. 😬
We had a pet duck once, she lived in the garden quite happily with the dog, the cat, the rabbit, and the tortoise! She used to occasionally come into the kitchen to steal the cat's food, but nothing else, and we made sure she didn't make any mess. Most unhygienic to let them wander around the house, especially with those other pets!
Story 4: OP is not the A-hole. She was put in an uncomfortable situation in her home. She had a right to break the lease.
And it was on Sara and Vera to make sure they weren’t breaking any rules
Apparently, the commentors missed the part about the roommates being told about the situation and thinking it's no big deal. Ick! I know I'm not going to clean up the shower after a couple had fun time in it. People being nasty is a justifiable reason to move out.
Story 5: NTA, they made your living situation intolerable, you had to find a way out of the lease. It isn't your fault they were openly violating the lease.]
Story 5 (last comment): OP tried to handle it with a talk, Vera refused to talk it out and correct her (and her boyfriend's) behavior, and Sara basically said "I am not involved".
OP probably should have talked to the landlord about getting replaced on the lease without reporting that the BF already moved in. Maybe even switching OP out for BF on the lease. The landlord generally doesn't care as long as the rent is paid and the apartment is maintained.
@@patrickdix772If OP's roommates hadn't acted so dismissive of her complaints (being that she paid to live there while the boyfriends did not), they probably would've worked something out. But as soon as they acted like her opinion didn't matter, they asked for it. And if you don't want to lose your place to live, don't argue with your roommate when you are actively breaking the lease. They forced her out of the place she was living with their behavior. They got what they gave.
Sorry, but it's the wife that's the idiot in the vacation story, not OP mil shouldnt have been there to begin with. The wife had no business inviting her on a trip that was meant to be a romantic getaway for them. And since she did, why tf would she only book one roon for them all? Seriously, the OP shouldn't have had to fix wifes screw ups.
Yeah, I felt the same. That was supposed to be a romantic trip, but wife turned it into a family trip with shared room.
@@Khaisz. Where the husband got the honor of bankrolling the entire trip
Got ya, MIL shouldn't be in the same room.
Reverse the roles and you see how everyone opinion would change and would on his side.
Plus, those commenters are ignoring that the wife is screaming constantly.
Seriously what is wrong with the comments on the Venice story??? They just intentionally ignore OPs points and focus on the dumb part. Sharing a room with your mother in law is the stuff from nightmares. And really OP didn't abandoned his wife alone with a child, the MIL is there already
S3: Who remembers a surgery from age 4.. It doesn't effect your life now..
if i tell people my health issues from toddlerhood to now someone is gonna ask how I survived this long XD
Like a woman to get all hyper over such a thing.
I have a similar situation like Story 2 I actually had a ex that had a bunch of animals in the house, including a duck and her room smelled absolutely disgusting, but I decided to overlook it because I did care for her but we broke up and that’s the biggest thing I DONT miss oh and there were tons of people in the house too so it was a bit cramped
Did I seriously read that wife booked ONE room for herself, her husband, her daughter and her mother? Jesus that is gross. Did OP and his wife get dressed and undressed in front of MIL? Who does that? Disgusting! No wonder OP left.
You're another weird one. I have roomed with mixed company plenty of times in my life and it is easy to take turn dressing in the bathroom in private.
Dude no offense but if you don’t want to waste money, you’ll get a room with two queens. I grew up doing this on vacations with my family. Also all hotel rooms have bathrooms, they’re probably not changing in front of each other.
Venice trip. ESH and more the wife than OP. She dreamed about a romantic vacation with her mommy in tow? Imagine how the reaction would have been if OP was the woman and here husband brought his mommy along on a romantic vacation.
XO didn’t include the update, wife is filing for divorce.
This is a prime example of the gender double-standard on Reddit. If you reversed the gender all of those people would absolutely have the opposite opinion.
@@Jeremiah9430trash took itself out.
@@Jeremiah9430 The Wife is evidently the female equivalent of a Mama's Boy.
Story 2. I have only 1 cat, dog, and toddler and it's so much work. I can't imagine taking care of all those lives. If you emotionally or physically abandon an animal for a child the animal might become violent. It is dangerous.
Story 1. She's such a wonderful parent that all her kids chose the dad over her. 😂😂😂
What's most galling is if she were a man she'd be in prison for non-payment or at the very least having her wages garnished which would wind up the same place eventually.
@bhart3321 I think they get arrested if the other person bothers to fight for it. I don't think they (the government) are taking proper track of it. It sounds like dad isn't fighting for the payments. Otherwise, it wouldn't be so common.
Dad is also an asshole for involving the kids in the child support discussions in the first place.
OP says they went to live Dad because living with Mom was difficult. Never said she was mean or a bad parent. She was a single parent supporting 4 kids with a fast food job. So kids go with Dad who can supply more. Sounds like Dad was the one doing the alienating. I'm only going by what's told in the story. Not fair that it wasn't 50/50 when she had money to care for them evenly.
@@Mewse1203he ONLY told OP because OP ASKED HIM. When a child asks a direct question like that, you don’t lie to make the @$$hole parent look good.
Your sister won't be a good mother if she couldn't even house train the dogs and cats. And having ducks inside is just stupid. You can't house train them. Living in a house with animal feces everywhere sounds like she is too lazy to even clean up after her animals. What does that mean for a baby with a dirty diaper? She has shown she is not responsible enough to be a mother. She can't even take care of her pets correctly.
Hernia issue: I had the same problem and I was married twice and never told anyone. Why? It's not like it's something that I can pass down or could threaten my sons life. The wife is being way over dramatic. Op should just stay away from her for a while and let her do her own research and she'll get over it eventually.
Why should the op be okay with his mother in law going through his things and using his damn toothpaste? 🤨 Three adults don’t need to be sharing one tube of toothpaste, I don’t know why MIL wouldn’t bring her own. Honestly op should separate from his wife and co-parent if this is going to keep being a problem.
The thing i found odd was that she's 5 years old and can't just stay MILs house bc she needy like she they havent taught her that she cant get everything she wants. MIL makes the situation worse by inviting herself onto a trip so the parents still haven't learned a lesson about saying no to their kid.
I HATE people in my personal space, when travelling that would definitely be my suitcase. I don't want people knowing some details of my life with exceptions and one of those would be medication and my undergarments. That first boundry being crossed would be close to my breaking point but sharing a room?? Nope. Sharing mouth bacteria with my MiL? No way, if I tried talking about personal boundaries and got shut down like it seems OP did I'd be gone too lol. Classic "if the genders were reversed situation"
@@jp-fk5ke I have a feeling any time OP says no to the wife (as seen in the ending) wife will scream at him until she gets her way.
So the vacation story. That is proof right there alone that men are not allowed to have small Petty boundaries but women can have all the Petty boundaries in existence
Gotta love story one. Don’t start nothing won’t be nothing lol
However should the family really be shocked by OPs revelation when all the kids chose to live with their dad?
S3 - Next time OP hears something about his wife's childhood, he ought to (pretend) get upset because she failed to mention it to him before. Good grief! What an overreaction.
S3: If it were a genetic condition that would be passed on to their kids, I'd see her point. if it were going to impact him later in life, i'd see her point. But it's neither. Is he obligated to disclose every root canal and dental surgery? It's basically that level of routine, so... she's out of line. When would that have come up?
Vacation story: I totally understand the frustration and annoyance OP felt. However it seems a conversation could have been had before he just up and left the country. The money used to buy a new plane tickets could have been used to book another room for MIL. He could have taken his MIL aside and let her know this was meant to be a romantic vacation for him and his wife and he would like it if she didn’t come to their room as often or took the child out on her own so they could get some alone time. Also, as a parent it’s wildly irresponsible to block the other parent when you’re upset.
There was an update to this story. Once he unblocked his wife she told him she’d be filing for divorce once she got back.
I wonder if that was the plan, now the wife can make it like op was the bad guy who left his family stranded in a different country
Story 2: Assuming the house is as bad as you describe, NTA.
NTA for not wanting to share a romantic vacation with MIL and having to share your personal space with a person who not only was uninvited but also who invaded your items more than once.
Story #2: NTA!! DANG!! Has your sister ever seen the television show Hoarders!! It has featured people that lost their kids because they wouldn't clean their homes. One couple's son stayed in the hospital because of respiratory and lung problems due to mold and roaches everywhere.
S1: NTA. Not only does mom not pay child support, but she can’t really think she’s the better parent when ALL 4 KIDS chose to live with dad and not her. Epic response from OP.
The vacation story: Reddit need to stop making the dude the bad guy because if the situation was reversed and he was the one that bought his mom and his wife decided to leave they will be calling the wife NTA and call OP a mama's boy
That's the entire thing, though. Reddit has a massive gender bias.
Story 3 (vacation story) - NTA. Men can also have boundaries.
Apparently we're just supposed to sit back let anything happen to us that's going to happen and never complain about anything or otherwise we are misogynistic a-holes and deserve to be divorced and have everything taken from us
No he’s an ass for abandoning his wife and child in a different country his boundaries are clearly just an excuse for poor communication
Esh. He abandoned his daughter
@beaugreenwood712 yes because she as a woman and mother is incapable of taking care of herself or the child in another country, I mean we all know that she needs a man to take care of her... see what I said sounds just as stupid as your comment
He was only an AH for not putting his foot down when his wife invited MIL. Venice was meant to be a romantic holiday only for his wife to sabotage it every way possible. Maybe she should go back to work and remember the value of hard work and money? Yeah I know she’s a SAHM and that is tasking but the kid is getting school age.
Vacation comments were crazy. Mommy shouldn’t have been there period. It’s gross to touch let alone use others personal items without permission. Obviously none of you learned anything from the pandemic.
Room-mates: NTA, but more like ESH. They Gaslit OP so now they get what's coming in the form of the consequences.
Yep even mother's can he deadbeats. You just don't hear about them as much as most dad's are more worried about their children.. Most ex wifes/girlfriends are more worried about backstabbing the fathers
No, you don’t hear about it much because it isn’t as common. Nice revisionist history though. All these bitter dads out here who haven’t taken care of their kids and if they do get them they get the women in their family to take care of them. They don’t even want custody. How can you backstab someone who isn’t there?
Remember men you're not allowed to have standards or boundaries with anybody including your wife and mother-in-law and it is perfectly acceptable for your wife to start screaming at you anytime she gets upset with you and if you try to leave the situation you're in a hole
You don't abandon your wife and daughter in another country
One of the commentators talked about wife's " dream vacation"! What about op's dream? The original plan was just the two of them, then it was all four of them in one room, with mil rummaging in op's personal things. I can't imagine doing that with my daughters or their spouses.
@@GiordanDiodatoyou don't bring your mom and baby on a vacation meant to be a romantic interlude between you and your husband. And he didn't abandon her. He left her with her mother.
@@carolroberts4614his dreams or needs don't matter because he's just a man his only use is to pay the bill.
@@GiordanDiodato you're right because the wife can't take care of herself or the kid and needs a man to take care of them...
Story 2: OP would be a massive idiot if they didn't get CPS involved, and likely whatever animal protective services are in the area too. Seriously, if your family is doing horrible things to their children or pets, you are just as culpable if you fail to report it.
Last story nta thay signed the contract it was broken thay know what was could happen
I fell slightly bad of the one that didn't bring the so over but she didn't stop them ether so
S1 - The way OP made comments about his Dad's reaction made it seem like Dad was in the car with them on the way home.
90's Facebook mom?
Facebook wasn't even around until the 2010's
Yeah, I was confused by that too, since most social media didn't exist until around the 2010s.
Story 2: that’s not an okay living situation for those animals or sis. How the hell is she going to take care of a baby in the biohazard? No one wants to call CPS on family, but clearly that woman does not need to bring a baby into the house. And absolutely the shelter and whoever else to get those animals out of there should be called as well.
The hernia story. My misses and I now we have stopped laughing are now trying to remember every single knock we have taken before we met. So far she has me beat as she broke her left leg and a week after the cast came off she was hit by a car and broke her right leg 😂😂😂😂
People will defend women even when they are wrong.
Sharing story, I don't share soap or toothpaste with my hubs. He should've went out and bought mil her own stuff and get her a room. Would've been better than leaving.
@@Brit626 exactly
Your wife wanted a holiday with her mother and your children. You wanted a holiday with your wife. Were you rude? Yes, you did assert boundaries. You do not want your MIL in your personal space and to share personal hygiene products. That's your choice but you need to communicate better.
I’m not sure who needs to hear this or why they even need to hear this. If you are close enough with somebody to be in a legitimate relationship, let alone be married. Their business is your business and vice versa. Your medical history should be an open book I don’t care what your reasoning is.
Last one. A guy talking weird to a woman is never good.
Story 1 once she filed for Social Security they’re gonna take it from her for back child support
Was OP in the Venice story Howie Mandel??
Sounds to me as if the wife wanted to go to Venice but really wasn’t interested in a romantic getaway with OP! NTA but blaming MiL for the wife’s actions is stupid
Second story the husband is just as guilty
if the MIL was his mom, the comments would be sooooo different lol how dare his mom sit on your bed, how dare his mom use his stuff etc we all know it BUT if they are in a different country and he left...oh boy that child is not leaving the country lol he will have yo come back so the kid can board 😂😂
Last story: OP is justified, tbh. It baffles me that grown adults need to be told not to do the thing in communal areas when you have roommates or live with family. OTHER people also have to use those communal things and its so inconsiderate to just put your naked ass on everything. Just keep it to your personal space, damn.
ducks are in the house to eat the bugs crawling around, for pest control, still not the best solution
But they aren’t. Their waste is contributing to the bugs.
For the hernia story, I'm gonna say a very light idiot. Because OP had issues as a baby and she might be afraid this will happen to her child. Everyone is talking about how common it is but I, a women have never heard of it and I've heard all kinds of baby info. My mother told both me and my older sister all about the bad and good parts of her pregnancy and birth experience so we would be prepared. I was there when my sister gave birth to both her children. Ive heard about cousins children being born with this and that and yet I have never once heard of a belly button hernia, especially not one that required surgery. If my partner brought it up I'd be passed. (He's adopted though so I am well aware rhat our child will forever have some medical mysteries.
As I know it. Where the umbilical cord falls off and closes to "make" the bellybutton. Doesn't close/ doesn't close as quickly as supposed to. I had this but didn't need surgery. My hubby needed surgery for his. All 3 of our kids took longer to close as well. I am the only 1 that doesn't have an innie. Mine is half and half. After my 3rd,I asked their Dr. They only said they could be hereditary. 5 for 5?? I'm glad only hubby needed surgery to fix it.
Edit.
Oh and I have 6 siblings. There are almost 30 grandkids. My family are the only out of us all. My uncle (Dr) told my mom to have me suck in my belly. It will help it close. So it did. I don't think hubby had anyone telling him to "suck it in". Lol
It isn't a complication of pregnancy and doesn't endanger or affect the mother at all. And honestly, if she hasn't heard of it, she hasn't paid attention or researched what can happen in infancy very well. Not his fault.
You don’t even know what it is because if you don’t you’d know that it’s not a dangerous genetic condition. Would he need to mention getting his tonsils removed? Why are y’all acting like he didn’t tell her he had lupus or something? This is weird.
Vacation.
Not wanting your mil there is fair.
But jc he should have put a stop to it in the beginning. Or booked another room.
The toothpaste and the bed? Nah he just doenst like mil or want her to be there. Which okay, sure.
But getting mad and leaving your wife and child in a different country??? Unacceptable.
Vacation story I think op needs to be honest. I’m reading it as he was upset that mil even went in what was supposed to be a romantic trip. When women post that their so invited their mum on a romantic trip Reddit says he is a mummy’s boy and to dump his a$$. I’m not surprised that here the genders are reversed so the bloke is still wrong.
❤❤❤
Story 1: NTA in my opinion
Story 2: NTA and time to leave op
Dude, did you seriously film a family chilling in their bathing suits in a secluded little rock grove? That's not cool. See how they're looking back at you? They're uncomfortable and should not have been included in your video. Stop filming like a creepy stalker and be more careful how you use the footage you've collected. And you should be getting permission from anyone in your video footage who's close enough to be identifiable.
I realize there's no expectation of privacy when you're out in public like that, but it's not cool to use footage of people without their permission, when they're personally identifiable or caught off guard like that. Hope you never come near *me* with that camera.
Mil on holiday story- I think esh. But the husband sounds like he has some serious untreated ocd or germaphobia.
I am with op all the way....f mil
90s Facebook mom? Fb wasn't created until 2004. There's no such thing as a 90s Facebook mom lol
I think he means that his mom is the kind of parent that takes a sh-t ton of pictures throughout her child's infant years, My mom did the same.
The decline of critical thinking and reading comprehension is starting to frighten me.
Story 4: last comment sums it up. OP went nuclear and it probably wasn’t necessary. Honestly it’s super vague if the problems continued after OP brought them up, or if it was just a case of “what do you mean my roommates aren’t going to react how i deem ‘appropriate’…. Well fuck this (hits the big red button)”
Or maybe their romantic trip shouldn't have had mil join, wife's fault since she planned it against her husbands wishes. But he did go nuclear.
Were you one of those people who let their creepy boyfriend make your roommates uncomfortable? Did you ignore requests from your roommates eventhough you were breaking the lease? If you blow off your PAYING roommates concerns in favor of someone that is not even supposed to be staying there, you bought your own trouble. This is a good lesson for those girls. Your visitors aren't more important than the people on the lease.
@@TacoTitan115 Wrong story
@@johnbriggs1038 again the wording is very unclear if the issues persisted after being brought up. If they did then that's a problem. If it happened once then OP blowing the situation WAY out of proportion. Like the BF still doesn't come off in the best light, but it's unreasonable to expect everyone to react like the sky is falling every time you are mild to moderately inconvenienced.
OP's MIL is providing childcare for him on a trip with his wife, and he's freaking out because MIL....Uses his toothpaste and sat on his bed?
But she isn't providing child care for him on a trip
She's not providing child care.
The MIL is not there to provide childcare. She is there vacationing with the daughter and OP on what was supposed to be a romantic vacation for the daughter and OP. She shouldn't be there in the first place.
so what, because hes a man, hes not entitled to boundaries??
Squirt!!!
4: YTA...divorce & be alone!! He's gonna be livid to find out what part of his MIL his future ex wife came out of!!
I find the roommates story weird. Like... how could they have besmirched the shower that badly? Did they not run the water? Couldn't OP have just left when she started hearing it? I have so many questions. The other stuff with Oli would have been enough but the shower thing seems so... OP's problem?? I still don't know how they could have possibly "messed it up" beyond normal showering unless Oli has the equivalent of a porcine length finish like a fire extinguisher going off for 30 minutes...
Story 1: I'm wondering how an accountant has a hard time finding a job? I mean 3 months of doing tax prep could set her up for most of the year if she budgets right. And _all_ the kids bail as soon as they could? I'm sensing a sugar problem or general dishonesty.
I worked in Accounting for years then moved out of my state. I had to take menial jobs for over a year before I could find another Accounting job. Not all companies use the same Accounting software and also they deal with taxes and tax laws which change all the time. It's expensive and not easy to keep up with that.
@nicolette100 didn't know that. I stand corrected.
Vacation guy is nuts way to ocd and controlling
or maybe, he has boundaries....nta
MIL holiday-NTA. The wife overstepped by booking one room and iviting her mom.n