Have you seen the recovery journal of Bidens Daughter yet. Jesus H Christ man. As a Recovery Coach and nearly a decade of experience working in recovery. That journal is real.
I’m fighting alcoholism. It ruined my relationship with my wife and family. It started in college and i downplayed it. I’m 6 months sober and healing everyday. Cheers!
I've been sober 6 years. It runs in my family. My dad is on hospice and my brother is right behind him. I'm estranged from my entire family. My mother wasn't innocent in this, she didn't drink, but she drove us all crazy .... Be proud of what you've overcome 🥀
Also, I HIGHLY recommend you do some deep introspection with a licensed professional to dig out the hungry ghosts or it WILL rear it's ugly head over and over and over.... My dad and brother refuse to do the hard work, they'd rather just be an alcoholic instead of a highly gifted individual that have developmental disabilities and who's needs weren't met. It's really sad, ESPECIALLY from someone who lived thru it and had to estrange myself to protect my boundaries that continued to be violated.
*Childhood trauma can lead to an adulthood spent in survival mode , afraid to plant roots , to plan for the future , to trust , and to let joy in . It's a blessing to shift from surviving to thriving . It's not simple , but there is more than survival .*
"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom." Edgar Allan Poe
@@planetvegan7843 that has to do with Ancel Keyes' bad advice. Dietary cholesterol has no bearing on your levels. Vitamin D3 is one molecule away from cholesterol. Your body is mostly fat, protein, cholesterol. It's a transport mechanism between cell membranes (also clean up microphage damage when fasting) . Those drugs starve mitochondria, via coq10 enzyme (which most drs don't tell patients to take). Cholesterol plays a roll in sex drive, immunity. All that's necessary to do is watch triglyceride levels, and see that ldl types (4) aren't indicating inflammation (oxidized). Avoid sugar, vegetable oils, grains as much as possible.
My now deceased boyfriend paraphrased this saying to me when I was a depressed teenage girl. I’m in my forties now, and it is still the best advice I’ve gotten in my life. He said, “you can’t control what others do, but you can control what you think about.”
"Not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma, but I do believe they can all be traced to painful experience. A hurt is at the centre of all addictive behaviours. It is present in the gambler, the Internet addict, the compulsive shopper and the workaholic. The wound may not be as deep and the ache not as excruciating, and it may even be entirely hidden-but it’s there. As we’ll see, the effects of early stress or adverse experiences directly shape both the psychology and the neurobiology of addiction in the brain." - Gabor Maté
There are cases when a child grows into a loving family, but it's destroyed by the corrupted system and sick society that cut his wings and brainwashes him into losing self-confidence and accepting society's sick rules.
This comment section is like a great therapy session for all of us. It's really nice to see so many people opening their troubled hearts. It seems like all we need is love, indeed.
This is where I am now but I am still struggle at times. I hope with shadow work I can finally get past this. I see you commented a year ago, I hope your journey has served you well. 😊
I love how you "I dug myself out". I finally came to realize I could only escape years of addiction to opiates and benzos, all prescribed, by myself. It was agony. There is no soft easy way. I told myself over and over in withdrawal "trust your body, it knows how to heal itself, relax and let it."
Thank.you. I've been attempting to get people to understand what causes addictions for years. What most don't understand is that emotional neglect is child abuse/trauma as well. Being a gas lighted scapegoat is child abuse/trauma as well. Every scapegoat that I've ever known had fantastic character and strong personality. Don't allow anyone to bring you down
Im sure there's a big correlation between childhood trauma and drug use but that doesn't mean childhood trauma is the cause of addiction. Humans have used drugs since the beginning of time. For everything from healing purposes to ceremonies. To say only ONE thing is root cause of "addiction' is incredibly arrogant and narrow minded.
@@ElektrOpium Jo Do did not say it's the only ONE, in fact said "as well" twice and highlights a neglected issue, that gaslighting and scapegoating is SUBTLE. your insults are unneccessary.
I was a scapegoat. There's something about you that pisses evil people off so they fill you with the guilt of their sins as if you were Jesus. But you aren't Jesus so it doesn't save them and it makes you a little warped.
Biblical fasting (resisting something for at least 3 days) helps me overcome anything that consumes my attention on a daily basis. My conviction in prayer and my "having no masters before God" mindset cements my consistency during the fast. Jesus is not only the best mentor for a fulfilling life, he is the only path to salvation.
Good luck with the program you’ve become addicted to but I think I’ve explained what you’ve done. The twelve step program replaces one addiction with another proclaiming its a cure as it’s a positive addiction.
Starting at 13 I got blind, falling down drunk whenever possible. I did every drug I could find. I’m now 55 and still haunted by my fathers tyrannical, narcissistic, cruelty.
To me, addiction is the result of the shame and pain felt from sustained psychological injury caused by physical and/or psychological trauma that isn't accepted as a legitimate injury by society. The shame that comes from such trauma stems from the fact that society finds one to be weak if such trauma causes a psychological injury. It's embarrassing to express painful feelings as the result of a traumatic experience of a psychological nature. This results in the individual using coping mechanisms that are addictions to mask these injuries to give society the facade that you are impervious to such injuries. Eventually the addiction overwhelms the injured and it becomes detrimental to everybody causing trauma to the injured and to those around the addict. Now the cycle continues and multiplies.
wow! you pretty much summed up what i was thinking. it is like, the traumatized child is stigmatized and marginalised and shamed and considered as broken or defective or lacking by society. so now not only he feels NOT SEEN by the ones who were SUPPOSED to provide emotional nourishment; but the SHAME about BEING SO EMOTIONALLY STARVED makes one keep everyone else at an arms length. bcz if they saw the love starved overlooked and abandoned child, they'd abandon them all over again.
...then we get this fun little complex called "pathological narcissism" where shame is the axis of all thinking and doing. Shame of being ashamed, shame of being seen as defective, shame of being seen as needing, shame of being seen in any negative light, shame at being "caught in the act", whatever that act may be. What might the act be? I don't know - my moral compass is screwed from so many different authorities forcing incompatible ideas down my throat that I've pretty much delegated that function to whoever can see me. There is no right and wrong - only the vested interests of present company.
Trust is beautiful: Betrayal, heartbreaking. At the heart of every traumatic human experience in private or public it becomes an act of betrayal. A jealous vindictive friend, the adulterous husband, or cheating wife, a promiscuous lover, are some of the most hurtful experience in relationships! No matter how strong you think you are betrayal and cheating are desimating... Broken heart crushed soul... That pain can paralyze spouses into a depressive state of bitterness apathy and retribution.
I know a man who smoked heavily all his adult life. Around 60 he got throat cancer. He gave up smoking. He told me he'd tried many times to give up and constantly failed. But when he got sick he succeeded and he said "It was the easiest thing I've ever done". I think habits and addictions seem big when we have them and smaller when behind us. Addictions are truly crippling, and are definitely a part of us trying to tell us something.
As someone who's struggled with addiction for 15 years, and has quit smoking multiple times, yeah smoking is vastly easier to quit than anything being used as a crutch to be social/get through life, that shit's difficult and soul crushing
@@iPostiPodiEatiYuri I like you and I bet you are a great human being. My guess is that you are tolerant and have a very lovely sense of humor. At any rate, God bless you.
Ouch. This video hits hard. Growing up as a person with ADHD, OCD, giftedness, general health problems, failure to thrive, and the list goes on is too much for a kid to cope with. The mocking, rejection, and constant disbelief from others is enough to scar a child. Any time I remember these times I seek comfort in whatever flavor of the week addiction I might have.
I'm sorry you were falsely labeled. Hopefully you get away from the "family" that failed you and find normal humans to be in contact with. We're out there.
I'm finally recovering from a very similar situation at 21 years old. The biggest problem I face is that I'm finally motivated to improve my condition but I can't start new activities because I don't get happiness from them I'm completely numbed to anything but my former addiction(gaming) and am unmotivated always. Atleast I don't have the impulse of anxiety to start gaming anymore because I got in shape and more confident which lowered my anxiety because I can now depend on myself.
The uncovering of trauma has been a major theme in my life for the past few months, and I've been doing a lot of self therapy, writing, memory analysis and shadow work to try and figure it out and deal with my neurotic tendencies/ addiction(s). So good timing on the video once again, and hope this helps some people out.
@@beyond-journeys-end the "Persona" games r all based on Carl Jung's theories on the self and personal/collective unconscious, the game "Control" also is heavily inspired by Jung's theories. U should watch this channels vids on Jung, they r a good introduction, they have a whole set.
To the *incredible person* seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.
I've been watching Gabor's material since my teenage years, and no one has ever helped me as much as he and his work did. I faced my addictions from another perspective, with another awareness of myself, and with amazing results. Last month I started watching his lectures again, and I actually have In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts in my personal library, and i'm planning to read it soon. Now when I saw the notification on my phone with the title of the video, I knew immediately that it would be related in some way to Gabor's work. Thank you so much for making all these amazing videos! I am currently financially broke, but will become a member as soon as I can 🙏
I'm so grateful for the perspectives that exist that tell me I'm not alone.. not that I'm addicted but that I'm not the only one who sees the condition of our falling western society.. thank you sir.
Thank you. I am eagerly anticipating the upcoming episodes mentioned in this one exploring the possible options for taking on a healthy and addiction-free life.
It's probably an oral fixation. Try looking at food as an energy source. Starvation diets don't work. Reduce, instead of eliminating junk foods and small and often. So instead of 3 large meals a day, divide your macro needs into 6 smaller meals and go on moderate cardio walks for 30 minutes each day. Eat more soluble fiber too. You can speed up your metabolism with this method and not have to work so hard. It takes 21 days to form a new habit to replace the old ones.
Using psychedelics with intent helped me more than I ever imagined they could... they're so much more than the party I thought they were when I was a kid
All so true. Thank you, Academy of ideas for addressing this. I am lucky to have survived a childhood of profound trauma, very frequent beatings, physical torture, psychological torture, molestation and rape all well underway before I was in grade school. The trauma led to a variety of addictions that wasted so much of my life and talent. Healing, however, is possible.I am still not exactly sure quite how I have mastered all my addictive habits and behaviors. I experienced some profound moments of self-compassion that helped me make better choices. Vigilant self-care is required. For me, a balanced approach including exercise, diet, sleep, meditation, creativity, radical self-acceptance and plenty of time in mother nature are all key. I wish you every success on this path. I love you! I believe in you! You are worth it and you deserve it!❤️
I just finished some reading material for a psychology course, and one thing about addictions: those that keep failing are the ones who often believe that they won’t be able to do it in the first place (ie low self-efficacy). This also applies to overcoming disorders as well. There is so much power in believing in yourself. Cheers to everyone commenting about their experiences, I’ve had addictions to relatively innocuous things (social media); I can’t imagine the will power that goes into the more serious cases. You’re all proof that it can happen!!
This rings true....15 years ago in rehab, we were told 3 out of the 12 will make it, 2 will relapse a couple of times but make it eventually and 7 will die. That was their sadistics after over 20 years.....and I remember thinking, ok so this shit is do-able. Well if it's do-able, I'm going to do it, I'm going to be one of the 3, and I was. I'm clean and sober since I left that place
The DUI crash that almost killed me (Broken neck, four broken ribs, two months in Shock Trauma hospital) Saved my life . He’s right, one part of my mind watched helplessly as the other forged ahead on the four decade plus alcohol addicted path to destruction. 3+ years sober now.
This video corroborates a fact that is ongoing in my circle of friends. I'll try to summarise... I lived with a friend who has a daughter in her early teens. He had a very difficult childhood and became an adult addicted to alcohol, a lot of alcohol and one other illicit drug, besides being prone to violence. I talked to him a few times, but he didn't even want to know. His daughter, who tried to commit suicide five months ago, spent five days in hospital detoxing. She spends most of the day locked in her room or in the bathroom, putting on make-up and surfing the Internet on her mobile phone. Once again, thank you very much for posting another video and spreading knowledge.
This sounds like my life - my parents had the problems from their parents who went thru WW1, the Great Depression, WWll, with one parent being orphaned due to a major earthquake in 1931 . It was 'fun' growing in a whole community like that - PTSD, STRESS & more were daily events. My dads addictions were tobacco & alcohol, mum stayed off both as she had 4 miscarriages to live with. Surprised I turned out as good as I did - no alcohol, or addictions to pharmacutical drugs nor other drugs that come out of a laboratory. Hemp, is a herb & medicinaly useful, without addiction.
When i ended 10 years of opiate addiction i was so happy that i could feel sadness stress excitement ... Again i rather feeling depressed or anxious than feeling nothing ,living like a zombie , we can't emotionally evolve and grow and heal if we don't feel Deep change only happens when you see and feel something with seriousness then your mind moves and grows , an addict lacks of emotional which is created by substance prevents him to change his life ,which creates a unsolvable loop
I feel like cigarettes are killing my ability to feel anything, or to strive for something better, but everyone around me (especially my cig addicted dad) tell me that "its okay, you can stop another time, just focus on this or that problem" which makes me think they dont really give a shit about me or they really secretly hate me and wish me nothing but dread and misery...
@@fauberkaupfmann982 hopefully you overcome it but cig doesn't have much effect on emotions or mental health ,on the contrary it's your mental condition that causes your addiction and other issues it's common for all addicts to downplay the dangers and seriousness of their substance , I'm sure he could react differently if he wasn't a smoker or if he could have stopped smoking himself ; if i don't really care for myself how can i care for someone else Though regardless of what he says ,it's how you feel and think that is the important thing! On other hand what do you expect of him or anyone else to do about you smoking cig no one can do anything even if they truly care , the sooner you realize that only you're the problem and solution and no one but you can sabotage or heal yourself better , same as any mental issue addiction also is always only yours to bare , at best others can only feel sad and sorry for us in the end we are the only one that suffers and can do something about it We must first know and understand ourselves to find any resolve and peace
Fighting a life of opiates. I narrowed it down to difficulty dealing with the new world. I’m clean now, and using delta 8 as an anti depressant to help me appreciate what’s out there.
How's your D8 substitution going? I found that stuff just as addictive as anything else. Were you able to not just become a D8 pothead like I did? Congratulations on being of the hard stuff, at least you know that you won't just die from that stuff like everybody else.
I smoke pot. It's my last vice. I have a deep hatred for my addictions. I've fought and defeated alcoholism(4 years), nicotine(7 years), video game obsession(lifelong and although i still play on occasion i have moderation now), facebook(3 years), and energy drinks(7 years). My spine hurts to a degree that i have difficulty breathing and i force myself to suffer through it daily. The loneliness keeps me smoking pot but i will defeat it. It's always a matter for another day in better circumstances. Each time i buy more i feel disgusted and weak, I really wish i had more strength to face this world uninhibited.
I find it very annoying how he keeps shrouding himself in mystery like this, as if he was just a desembodied voice, which he isn't. He doesn't even aknowledge any of the comments on his videos.
I'm glad that y'all said the truth, that addiction can come from ANYWHERE (especially in mine and my dads experience) and not just videogames, some people tend to forget that excessive time spent playing videogames isn't the only issue society has today.
Thank you for creating these videos, this channel is a favorite of mine. Gabor Mate's work about childhood trauma and its ties to addiction has given me a deeper insight into how my early life evolved into its current state. Being an emotionally neglected and abandoned child I became the epitome of the addict as depicted in the video. From substances, media, pornography to alcohol it has all been a way for me to manage the chronic emotional pain within. At 27 I feel as though my whole life has been a perpetual cycle of emotional pain, self soothing through addictions which then leads to poor decisions and actions turning into intense guilt and shame, then the final stage ends up being loneliness, isolation, chronic anxiety and depressive episodes. The cycle then starts again, with the added negative emotions exacerbating the original problem. All the while I've been able to create a business and have success in it. I have my own place and am blessed with many passions and creative outlets. So I suppose I'm high functioning, my addictions don't paralyze me from normal adult responsibilities I guess. But it does feel like being in a constant state of fight or flight, alone trying to survive. I'm ambitious and often hopeful, but I know with a strong conviction that I cannot make lasting changes alone. Tried it, time and time again, it doesn't work. I have mentioned some of my internal world to family yet I'm met with reactions that feel like my words just wisped right through them and it meant nothing. I sense their silence to say okay change the subject, buck up and deal with it kind of thing. Therefore I have a strong sense that it's time to seek out a therapist who has the professional training and knowledge to help. I don't expect family or friends to be expert level therapists but I do find it quite sad how calloused and out of touch that many are when it comes to the emotions of others and themselves. I pray for a continuing cultural shift with our relationship to mental health, in particular for men. The stereotype that men keep quiet, mask their true feelings and deal with all of this alone may be true, but it's not doing any of us any good fellas. I hardly ever comment on anything, a few times a year maybe, but I felt compelled to comment here today. This is a vital topic to bring up, and if you relate to any of the above, know that this is a battleground that many of us are walking on. It's time for us to break the silence.
Hopefully you can find what's needed to heal, to discontinue the addiction. Have you asked God to help you? If not, perhaps it's worth a shot, as nothing is beyond His ability. Much love and best wishes
I have it together as far as work but beyond that I fail so often. The issue that eats me the most is my 5 year daughter not having a sober daddy. I can tell she can tell I'm a mess . She doesn't live with me but I see her most days as she lives only couple min ride away..... I'm 41 , veteran , been in fatal car crash that my friend died and I absorbed the impact suffering massive head trauma and it changed me forever, that was Feb 23 , 2002. It occurred right after I came home from 1/75th Ranger battalion which often times I point to as a major culprit for my shortcomings. One time in 2008 I believe I stayed sober 11 months . I've been using something the rest of the time. Beer daily , I am currently using stimulants. I became addicted to opiates while serving in army and its remained a struggle to this day although I went 10 years without touching an opiate into 2016 an oxy was put in front of me and as of today I'm on suboxen. Been to detox and rehab a number of times and what a waste of time and effort that circus is. Oh well. I guess i am pretty functional as I said the only thing in life I'm responsible about is my work (I also take good care of my teeth) , I try to be a good daddy , she will be here in about 2 hours and I believe she will spend night. I don't know what to do with her when it's just she and I. Her mommy is such a great mom , I struggle to find ways to keep her occupied.
Stay strong, brother! Children are naturaly curious and will pay attention to you if you focus your attention on them. Something which might help would be getting a dog. You would have another sentient being around that depended on you and that could help you practice for when she is with you. If you choose your dog wisely, it could get along very well with your daughter (If exposed to in a young age, chidren will, generally, love animals.) When she is over, you could play with them both together and that would break the ice, so to speak.
Yea Gabor’s Mate’s book was so good. I never looked at homeless and drug addicts the same. He really persuaded me to not look down on anyone. Epigenetics, toddler’s brain being 80-90% the size of an adult etc is brushed under the rug and the pull your boot straps myth that’s perpetuated in culture was implemented to get Institutions and social structures off the hook because of laziness and it saves money. Nobody likes the idea that they are a good person because they were lucky being born into the family, situation, and life experiences. Ego ego ego 🐍 CAN’T WAIT FOR HIS NEXT BOOK BREAKINGN ANOTHER MYTH OF CRAZINESS ✨ He’s so real 🔥
You are spot on. I look back, shake my head, and realize I'm only half the man I could've been. I wonder how I was able to get through and hold down good jobs. Childhood trauma left me vulnerable to addiction. I don't want to feel sorry for myself nor blame my parents when I realize they did the best they could. It's time to take personal responsibility and reclaim what's left of my life.
in a world where it feels out of control in so many aspects, the last thing i want to lose control of is myself. to be honest that concept is what gives me the drive to fight any addictions, & avoid new ones. I refuse to live a slave to impulse.
I know exactly how addiction begins, being very susceptible myself. I've had alcohol, sex and gambling addictions and am currently addicted to the Internet - it's obsessive. As I conquer one addiction, the next one always kicks in. In everything that can be addictive there is a moment of elation that strikes you. The makers of casino games use that moment, when even a small win on a slot machine triggers a bell or tune. Then, like a lab rat, they forever chase that moment, but it's never the same elation as the first time you experience it, so you keep chasing it trying bigger and bigger doses of whatever triggered it the first time. There is a thing in animal conditioning called 'intermittent reward. If the behavior is only rewarded at random times, the animal becomes even more desperate and learns the behavior quicker. Now, if you want to talk about how one develops the type of personality that is stimulated to that degree, so easily, then I might attribute it to childhood trauma, abandonment, being an outcast. I have no idea how that link to addiction, but every addict, of any habit or substance that I've ever met shares that past.
yeah. When people say "addictive personality" that always felt kind of lazy to me. It goes so much deeper than that. "What caused your personality to be so susceptible to addiction" is what should be discussed. I'm sure there's examples of it but I've never met anyone who just spontaneously decided to give up their own self control for no apparent reason just for giggles. There has to already be the right conditions in place for a habit to transform into a full blown addiction. I'm kind of in the same boat with the internet but mostly this stupid site right here. It's very tricky because it's not like any other addiction at all. Just a constant flux of gorging on information and content to an unhealthy degree but also simultaneously providing great content like these videos and countless others that inspire and enlighten. It's kind of twisted because even very positive and educational things get caught up in the addictive mix which makes it all the more confusing. For me personally I think at least as far as all this goes as well as plenty of these other vices at least at the moment, stem from my sense of almost complete isolation from the outside world for several years now. I work from home. No close, or really even distant friends to speak of. Family are almost all dead or unresponsive and far away. Even as I struggle desperately with the aspects of my addictions the crushing weight of loneliness is always there to constantly try and convince me that it's all quite pointless and none of it is worth fighting for or caring about in the first place. Everyday is a constant battle against those thoughts. Fought alone. In solitude. These stilted brief little messages back and forth with strangers is more or less my only communication with the outside world. And it's perpetually unsatisfying but go out and try to meet people now in real life. See how that works out. Good luck. People are completely locked into this technological trance. Unable to hardly even make eye contact for longer than a glance or two up from some kind of screen. It's pretty horrific honestly. And I'm not excluding myself entirely from that but I will say I'm not really lost in my phone really. I try to appreciate the experience of being around other people and pay attention to what they're saying but it is seldom returned or even acknowledged. Thus I end up retreating back to my solitude and chemical bandages and the vicious cycle continues.
As a young kid I felt anxiety all the time and was scared to ask for help. I began watching TV in all my free hours and later gaming all the time to supress my anxiety and negative emotions.
@@Shlogger My first (lengthy) reply to your well written post disappeared, but let me say. I am 65 and struggled my whole life to be sociable. There were times when I was in a very public job and I forced myself to be sociable, day after day. And I became more and more depressed about living a lie. That was not who I was. The day I gave up being someone other than who I am, the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. I once asked a therapist if he thought it strange that I have always needed to be alone and he said that he believed it was a definite personality type. The only hard part about being a loner is if you feel that you shouldn't be. Apart from the 3 days a week that I work now, I am completely alone. I love it. Sometimes I actually feel ecstatic that I've finally accepted who I am. No more pretense of any kind. Good luck on your life's journey. I hope you finally find the self acceptance that I have.
Abusive parents always do some little thing that holds out hope. If one catches a glimmer of it occasionally, he'll keep trying to meet that basic human need.
Ok. So i tried 3 times this year to quit smoking. It lasted for nearly a month, and then i was slowly, but surely, sucked back in. Mostly because i felt a void, because i couldn't connect with others. Perhaps, because most of my friends are smokers. Most of what you're talking is pretty clear to me, but the part that struck the most was the void filling thing. Maybe it's our society, that is running like mad, put us under constant pressure and never give us the space to fully articulate our soul and spirituality, that is stopping me. Maybe i should quit one more time and try to fix my inner problems and get more aware of my spirituality. Hopefully this will be the missing link, i never truly understood. You guys doing fantastic work. Keep it up. I will try your course the next days, maybe you got more insights i didn't truly see. But let me first finish my last cigarette. Love you guys
@@justzo594 Thanks alot. I will try this too. But i doubt there is an easy way :) 8:18 was really a thing, that struck hard . Maybe i should also read "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts"
Carl Jung's active imagination mathod was what saved me. It made a MASSIVE ammount of unconscious information conscious and rekindled the flame of the inner god within me. You could give it a try.
@@andredelacerdasantos4439 so do have any literature on this part? i found one book that is a collection of his methods. How do you get in touch with it, and how do you learn to do it? i'm very curious about it :)
The way I did it, was I started reading his Red Book. I wasn't even planning on writing anything, I simply sat down and started typing one day while reading it. The objective is to allow scenarios to show themselves without judgement and you will simply navigate those scenarios with an active mindset. My therapist calls my journey a dream. In many ways it is like a waking dream.
As a social media addict, which I am currently working on, the words of Gabor Maté were special. I dont know why but hearing the words of Gabor Maté made felt like those words of compassion were like hugs. Like showing where one went probably wrong but not in a degrading way rather out of a place of love to heal the wounds of the past. Thank you for this great video and I wish everyone the best of luck on their journey to a fulfilling life.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS! Addiction is such a complex topic when considered in context with the full scale of the human mind, yet so many dismiss those most heavily afflicted as being 'beneath them' whilst denying the potential for or presence of addiction within themselves, so much so that there is little shared understanding or, consequently, compassion for the afflicted within our current culture. Videos like this NEED to be made, seen, and understood.
If we made a rational assessment of addiction we’d conclude it’s more prevalent in society than is first thought. A craving for wealth or personal success or adulation by one’s peers, is seen as positive but the ethos is an addictive personality chasing something they’re powerless to control within themselves. When people have more money than they could spend in a multitude of lifetimes it’s an addiction that drive them into that state. Regrettably their power enables them to spin it as a positive behaviour. It’s an addiction, plain and simple, which they validate, as any addict does to dismiss their problem. As you say, it’s a complex problem.
Another really great video from my favorite Patreon creators! As someone who spent a lifetime suffering from the effects of abuse and attendant addictions, this video really hits home. I spent much time in therapy trying to find a way out. Yet all I did was better understand what caused it. I never found a way out of that hole...until I learned the art of Mindfulness. My mind came up with a thousand reasons why I shouldn't learn this, but eventually I stopped resisting after reading the excellent book "Why Buddhism is True" by Robert Wright. The common belief that addiction is a lack of self-control and one chooses to engage in it is patently false. Until you learn to clearly see the poisonous thoughts that well up from your subconscious that triggers the emotions you use addictions to escape from , you are never really free. All we experience is the painful emotions. We never see the thoughts that generate them. Attempting self-control, I have seen some just switch an addiction not accepted by society, like alcohol or drugs, to one that is, like work or religion. Mindfulness is learned through consistent and constant meditation. It helps you clearly see those poisonous thoughts before they trigger painful and negative emotions, and once you get very good at this (it takes a lot of practice), those thoughts disappear under the weight of your conscious recognition. Your addictions then start to slide away.
Thank you for this video. This is a very important subject that we all deal with either directly or indirectly. For anyone reading this, understand that addiction largely stems from trauma. Heal the trauma, and kicking the addiction will be 100X easier.
How do you heal the trauma of the world being wrong? Is there a pill for that doctor? Should I see a therapist to tell me who needs to be culled to make this better?
I am forever grateful for all the work that goes into putting each and every single one of your videos up. Of all the channels that I am subscribed to, this is literally the only one that I have have the bell on to be notified the moment there is a new video. Amazing work, and awesome insight with every video without fail! thanks you.
Thank you! This is such an important topic that is destroying so many in this world. This brought me to tears , knowing what a vicious cycle this is. I'm so thankful that I have been able to conquer myself! 🙏🏽💕
Very well presented, Sir. Addiction is one of the most misunderstood topics i come across in society. As a budding biologist, it's troubling to see not just the common people but authorities as high as the judiciary see addicts for their desposition rather than their despair. I will do my part to share this video & again, thankyou!
You know, I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. There is an underlying despair factor but the way out of it lies in their will to abandon their disposition. There's a difference between an addict who copes and reaches out for help an addict who's aggressive and is unreachable.
I am the Scapegoat of my family but my parents were never abusive, nor became angry with me unless I did something knowingly wrong or stupid. I had a wonderful child hood but I am alcoholic and I started drinking in high school and then in college via my fraternity, consuming beer. The consumption with my Frat Brothers contributed to my drinking momentum at around Mach 1. I never married and experienced difficulty maintaining long-term relationships with women. The glitter of being a bachelor has been long gone for decades @ Age 56.
As Alan watts said- the very act of obsessing over quitting an addiction is just another form of the trap. Universal knowledge makes these things make sense & people need to realize that they have free will. If we weren’t so afraid of death and didn’t see ourselves as separate from nature and all of the greed and duality of society, we wouldn’t need drugs.
Ppl like to stir shit up and cause more complexity within situations or conversations than needed, because theres something in us that just likes creating conflict...someone is always going to find a problem(s) in what you say no matter how upfront and direct and true it is because we simply aren’t completely entertained or satisfied with simplicity...some ppl just won’t listen to someone giving advice about not smoking cigarettes if that person smokes cigarettes...or in this case here..which happens to be about alcohol....so since he died of alcoholism basically means that he’s not allowed to say anything about alcohol addiction that can possibly help someone save their own life....it means he must not have anything good to really say....he’s not taken serious...he has nothing viable to say regarding alcohol addiction whatsoever because ultimately it was the thing that took him out in the end....ppl love to focus on the dumb shit away from the point when really it’s the message that matters...and not so much the messenger.....
Great video once again! I have learned the best way to deal with a problem is to acknowledge it. I am the Son of a Heroin addict and feel I have learned addictive behavior from Him. Although I never tried that Drug even though I have been offered many times, I have struggled with Alcoholism, excessive thinking, even Shopping. The past 2 years or So have added many stressors that have prompted me to indulge in my vices, but This Channel and many others help me get back on track. Thank you!
If ever a video sums addiction up this is it. Listened 4 x times now and agree totally . Ffwd this clip to my family that also suffered due to my addiction. This is not an excuse to them for my addiction. But to beat this we must all understand it. And i am beating this at the moment. Mostly due to a renewed sense of taking RESPONSIBILITY for my life. It doesn't owe me ANYTHING. My thoughts are with the suffering person if it is you. I know it is a prison of the mind. May you stand up, take this and BEAT this. You are better,,,, than you think....
The difference between religion and spirituality is that religion tells us hell exists and to fear it.. Those who become spiritual have been there. Fear is the energy most easily created en masse... Thing is fear is not real. We are the sum of our thoughts... Keep them light, attitude of gratitude, abundance mindset, go within and access true joy. Free yourself. Only love is real.. Oneness, unity consciousness, soul family, meditation... You are not alone, I love you x
Solution: Sit in silence, observe your internal state, deduce which thoughts are yours and which are not, discover that the observer is not the mind (thoughts). Once you find your real point of reference you can divest yourself of thoughts that are not conducive to survival. Thoughts remain, but they don't catch. The hidden problem is that not all thoughts are generated by us.. we are susceptible to external influences that can trigger or inject thoughts i.e. possession.
This video made me think about my abusive ex who came from a dark place of toxic parenting. She had an history of multiple addictions. I feel sorry for her and wish her to one day be able to leave her survival mode to actually live her life.
“Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.” -Augustine Og Mandino LOVE FROM A SMALL RUclipsR .
Excellent work. My mind was in a cage for thirty years. The substance used or behavior enacted was irrelevant as long as the common denominator was satisfied: a release of dopamine in my brain. Somehow the words of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and The Dark Philosopher inspired something within me and I am now free. Thank you.
Man I love your channel! I have been battling mild and seasonal depression since almost 5 years now and just now am I starting to understand the real causes behind it. Your videos have helped me a lot in coping with it and keeping a positive mindset in these tough times. Keep up the good work man!
I see the pain and self medication motivation. I didn't drink until my second marriage where I proceeded into the bottle and stayed for ten years. I realized what I was doing to myself and I stopped drinking. Three months later I left my spouse and didn't touch a drop for ten years. Now I can enjoy a class of wine without the need for another. I have not been drunk since I walked away from the marriage 25 years ago. I wasn't an alcoholic, I was living in a bad situation for me and I medicated myself. Alcoholism was a choice and not a medical condition in my case--I needed to escape. I faced the problem, beat it, and the "addiction" went away. The cure is your force of will and willingness to change be it internally or externally.
My mom was a neglectful Narcissist who covered up the abusive methods of our psychopathic rather. Both were diagnosed later in life. I was an alcoholic until age 32, when I forgave my parents and discarded them forever. My father recently died and I was able to properly mourn instead of hate him thanks to having forgiven him. Haven't had a drink in 2 years. Mom's addiction was abusing religion, worshiping herself. Dad's was booze. They were both addicted to their horrendous methodology.
Always synchronous when these episodes drop. Ive been noticing this phenomenon recently, staring at the hallowness i feel after i gave into them, how apathetic, regretful and sad. Like i was outside of myself after the fact.
I am so thankful I watched this video, as a 30 yr old who has experienced all what is talked about in this video, it has really helped me to relate to my feelings and understand them a bit better. Ps. I appreciate all the other commenters on this video as well
A very hard hitting video especially since I just failed nnn... That tragic and brief moment of euphoria only cost me disappointment and shame in the failure to uphold a promise to myself. I've prayed for forgiveness and redemption. This video serves as an answer to that call. Looking forward to your upcoming content!
A brilliant video! Thank you. I can't wait to share this with my niece and nephew who I've been taking care of since they were young because their listeners were both serious drug addicts.
Thank you for your caring. Yeah, I've been taking care of them for over five years now and have been slowly preparing them for the pitfalls that lay in wait for them. I appreciate your concern though 🙏
Love Gabor Mate! I've found him to be particularly inspiring is his humility, his identifying with the addicted souls he sought to help, and in that recognizing his own addictions, all despite his personal success.
Personal success becomes an addiction in itself. It’s the definition of an addictive positive that fools society into encouraging this behaviour when it’s equally destructive to a negative addiction. Every businessman is an addict riding the highs and lows of the next deal. As wealth concentrates in these people poverty increases and negatively viewed addictions result in the lower end of society. We’d do well to consider what constitutes an addiction and remove positive labels from destructive actions.
Grew up in an abusive household where my development was slightly stunted by 2 years due to my parents control. Now I struggle with putting down reefer.
Being a product of an alcoholic and emotionally distant mother, I do understand the facts that are stated in this video, quite well. I've been sober for 5 years now myself. But, my addictive behaviors play out in other ways of my life, such as compulsive exercise. The feeling of it all is trying to feel the void; the deep, dark, black hole, that can't be filled.
This makes sense & everyone should listen to it.ill send it on,a lot of ppl suffer addiction.quicker they get into it & more encouragement youth get to avoid addiction the better societies will become.
I Love this channel. I tell people about it if they seem to be struggling in life or experience dissatisfaction and as it goes, this channel helped me a ton whilst I was waiting for treatment. That was 2 years ago now. Oi Oi to all fellow travellers trudging the road - what a blessing 💛
Acknowledge and accept with loving kindness embracing ( hugs) giving space and as much time as needed as an objective Father, to all of your issues and every emotion as you would a wounded and orphaned and abandoned And rejected and devalued and degraded and neglected inner child and as you do you will start to transform for ex. from a feeling/ issue of rejection to a feeling / issue of acceptance like a caterpillar in your bitterness and hate to a butterfly in your resolution in love. This process has changed my life and i am being transformed from glory to glory into my true self daily!
Good job bringing up Mate message, when I grew up I always thought "it can't be that everyone except me is crazy - so I must be the problem" but it turns out that our entire culture is based on trauma and is deeply sick. But try to open with his line in a party see what it gets you.
Thank you. I am an addict myself (about 11 years now) and would have to say that you described addiction very well. Probably the best explanation I've ever come across. Glad your on this topic and hope to see you go further in depth with this.
Success is based on chance presenting itself when you can follow it. Obstacles can be construed in positive ways if they direct you to other better routes. Working your butt off blinds you to opportunities chance brings your way as you deluded yourself about being right about your path and missed them.
It was quite refreshing to hear about addiction that did not revolve entirely around drugs and alcohol. An addiction can be any behavior that stimulates an excitatory response that is repeated many times over. A very well presented video.
Very thought provoking indeed, cant wait to dive into your next videos! We even may have an answer for a purpose in life, because looking out for a way to heal from trauma and stay healthy may very well be ones life purpose.
Purpose is to Evolve yourself Upwards To Uplift yourself from lower to Upper To live as the best possible the Highest Self you can be From Lower to Upper To do this is really simple CHOOSE TO Once you 100% CHOOSE to go up into your Higher mind to become A High Minded Self live from there Your mind Energies instantly change to move in that direction I know this because I was shown this in a vision Used what was shown Just to Simply Decide to say no to lower self Mind takes over does the rest I now teach same to others It really is as simple as making the Choice 100% holding that choice Self discipline is required but again is easy if mind in the Direction of Choice You make Simple as telling yourself NO Using higher Mind Higher Self to keep it a No as it automatically will Give your will to the Power within you to take over to Have control to Reign SUPREME within and it just takes over does its job nothing is required by lower you, An Awakened Self to your Highest self within is the Most Powerful Power a Human possess Is available to use whenever we want to It really is as simple as choosing to switch mind over from Lower Minded to Higher Minded Self 💯 It's making the choice to Switch over from lower mind to higher mind It's not Trusting ourselves & Believing in ourselves our Higher Minded selves that stops us moving Up into Our Higher Minds (This has been represented to us in many many symbols over time many kingdoms Empires it's shown as A Higher Mind Projection for us all to see Think Upper lower Egypt A minds Projection representative of how it all works Within us All projected outwards so we can see it visually outside of ourselves then apply it within ourselves All Royalty is a representative of our Minds Capacity Capability To choose live In from Our Lower mind selves or to Uplift ourselves upwards into our Higher Minded selves This was also what Christ represented the birth crucifixtion death of Marys lower self it's all about MARY as it was all Mary's Creation Mary moving up into her Higher Mind had to sacrifice her lower self to her highest self why Mary is the whole Story, the Whole story of Chrystalising yourself up into your Highest best Self Why Mary is there from beginning to end Not a true story but a guide into ourselves & our two minds Upper Lower Making a Simple choice to live as One or the other Once the choice is made 100% made The mind takes over does its own thing takes us from here to there, starts Automatically rearranging things for us from Within to Without True story Just Have Faith Trust Belief in yourself your own Power within The problem comes in that none of us has been taught to Believe in ourselves We are all taught to turn to others other Powers outside of ourselves to trust Believe in that over ourselves Which is the real tragedy of what's done to us as children that's the Abuse that was done to Us ! As Within As Without Gave up 15 year drug habit instantly Healthy Wealthy Wise trinity of life
To access our course on Addiction, and 58 other exclusive videos, become a Supporting Member! - Learn More here: academyofideas.com/members
Have you seen the recovery journal of Bidens Daughter yet. Jesus H Christ man. As a Recovery Coach and nearly a decade of experience working in recovery. That journal is real.
@@SnakeJones09 any links for that mate? I'd like a look.
@@TheCed2011 James O Keefe Project Berita was raided by the FBI for the diary. Basically confirming its real. Just look that up.
@@SnakeJones09 yea I'm all over that mate. 👍
Fake news
I’m fighting alcoholism. It ruined my relationship with my wife and family. It started in college and i downplayed it. I’m 6 months sober and healing everyday. Cheers!
Keep up the amazing work 💪🏽, with every day it gets a little easier so they say
Congratulations! Keep going!
I've been sober 6 years. It runs in my family. My dad is on hospice and my brother is right behind him.
I'm estranged from my entire family. My mother wasn't innocent in this, she didn't drink, but she drove us all crazy ....
Be proud of what you've overcome 🥀
Also, I HIGHLY recommend you do some deep introspection with a licensed professional to dig out the hungry ghosts or it WILL rear it's ugly head over and over and over.... My dad and brother refuse to do the hard work, they'd rather just be an alcoholic instead of a highly gifted individual that have developmental disabilities and who's needs weren't met. It's really sad, ESPECIALLY from someone who lived thru it and had to estrange myself to protect my boundaries that continued to be violated.
Keep up the good work!
*Childhood trauma can lead to an adulthood spent in survival mode , afraid to plant roots , to plan for the future , to trust , and to let joy in . It's a blessing to shift from surviving to thriving . It's not simple , but there is more than survival .*
De mystery of life lies not just in staying alive;
But in finding 1 thing to live and die for.
Strength to you my friend!!
100 very vicious cycle, hard to break.
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@@satnamo thats an extremely shallow trope
"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."
Edgar Allan Poe
Number one prescribed chemical dependency among worldwide humans is anti-cholesterol drugs. Just stop eating cholesterol but they can't.
@@planetvegan7843 that has to do with Ancel Keyes' bad advice. Dietary cholesterol has no bearing on your levels. Vitamin D3 is one molecule away from cholesterol. Your body is mostly fat, protein, cholesterol. It's a transport mechanism between cell membranes (also clean up microphage damage when fasting) . Those drugs starve mitochondria, via coq10 enzyme (which most drs don't tell patients to take). Cholesterol plays a roll in sex drive, immunity. All that's necessary to do is watch triglyceride levels, and see that ldl types (4) aren't indicating inflammation (oxidized). Avoid sugar, vegetable oils, grains as much as possible.
@Planet Vegan you guys come up with something new every day, don't you
hey gryt, speak for yourself, go back to sleep and stop stalking me.
Look it up. Facts.
“The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain.” ~ Gabor Mate
"The question is: have u had a cup'o lately?" -Yerba Mate
Damn
*”You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” - Marcus Aurelius*
Meditations.
But you don’t. That advice is no use to addicts, whose unconscious has power over them. Aurelius is only useful to people who don’t need him.
My now deceased boyfriend paraphrased this saying to me when I was a depressed teenage girl. I’m in my forties now, and it is still the best advice I’ve gotten in my life. He said, “you can’t control what others do, but you can control what you think about.”
Not that easy, though.
No it's not easy but nothing actually worth attaining is gonna be easy @@rogosobe
"Not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma, but I do believe they can all be traced to painful experience. A hurt is at the centre of all addictive behaviours. It is present in the gambler, the Internet addict, the compulsive shopper and the workaholic. The wound may not be as deep and the ache not as excruciating, and it may even be entirely hidden-but it’s there. As we’ll see, the effects of early stress or adverse experiences directly shape both the psychology and the neurobiology of addiction in the brain."
- Gabor Maté
Pain is the sound
Obesity epidemic number one addiction on earth.
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Social media addiction suggests there are a lot of lonely people.
80% of American are mutilated. But lets not connect that to these ideas
There are cases when a child grows into a loving family, but it's destroyed by the corrupted system and sick society that cut his wings and brainwashes him into losing self-confidence and accepting society's sick rules.
The state of das world is a reflection of the state of people’s minds.
That is also very true.
women in islamic countries
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@@satnamo Very true. As within, so without.
This comment section is like a great therapy session for all of us. It's really nice to see so many people opening their troubled hearts. It seems like all we need is love, indeed.
my heart is troubled by your comment
A great man once said "love is the answer" ❤
God is love.
Just 22 days ago I dug myself out of a 10 year Opiate addiction with the following phrase: “No One Can Save You; You Can Only Save Yourself.”
Congratulations🙌🏾
This is where I am now but I am still struggle at times. I hope with shadow work I can finally get past this. I see you commented a year ago, I hope your journey has served you well. 😊
@@TinyHouseOfHorrorswhat is shadow work I am also struggling with opiate addiction
I love how you "I dug myself out". I finally came to realize I could only escape years of addiction to opiates and benzos, all prescribed, by myself. It was agony. There is no soft easy way. I told myself over and over in withdrawal "trust your body, it knows how to heal itself, relax and let it."
How's everyone doing now??
Thank.you. I've been attempting to get people to understand what causes addictions for years. What most don't understand is that emotional neglect is child abuse/trauma as well. Being a gas lighted scapegoat is child abuse/trauma as well. Every scapegoat that I've ever known had fantastic character and strong personality. Don't allow anyone to bring you down
Of course that is true but it is not the only source of addiction.
Im sure there's a big correlation between childhood trauma and drug use but that doesn't mean childhood trauma is the cause of addiction.
Humans have used drugs since the beginning of time. For everything from healing purposes to ceremonies. To say only ONE thing is root cause of "addiction' is incredibly arrogant and narrow minded.
@@ElektrOpium Jo Do did not say it's the only ONE, in fact said "as well" twice and highlights a neglected issue, that gaslighting and scapegoating is SUBTLE. your insults are unneccessary.
I was a scapegoat. There's something about you that pisses evil people off so they fill you with the guilt of their sins as if you were Jesus. But you aren't Jesus so it doesn't save them and it makes you a little warped.
@JoDo777 As a former family scapegoat, I thank you. ❤❤❤
Biblical fasting (resisting something for at least 3 days) helps me overcome anything that consumes my attention on a daily basis. My conviction in prayer and my "having no masters before God" mindset cements my consistency during the fast. Jesus is not only the best mentor for a fulfilling life, he is the only path to salvation.
Good luck with the program you’ve become addicted to but I think I’ve explained what you’ve done. The twelve step program replaces one addiction with another proclaiming its a cure as it’s a positive addiction.
Brynley Talbot we all have the freedom of choice so that we may choose the freedom of excellence. #CausaSui
A Very calming Video On, How Your thoughts control your life without you knowing about it ruclips.net/video/RAw8OxEj-Rg/видео.html"
Starting at 13 I got blind, falling down drunk whenever possible. I did every drug I could find. I’m now 55 and still haunted by my fathers tyrannical, narcissistic, cruelty.
To me, addiction is the result of the shame and pain felt from sustained psychological injury caused by physical and/or psychological trauma that isn't accepted as a legitimate injury by society. The shame that comes from such trauma stems from the fact that society finds one to be weak if such trauma causes a psychological injury. It's embarrassing to express painful feelings as the result of a traumatic experience of a psychological nature. This results in the individual using coping mechanisms that are addictions to mask these injuries to give society the facade that you are impervious to such injuries. Eventually the addiction overwhelms the injured and it becomes detrimental to everybody causing trauma to the injured and to those around the addict. Now the cycle continues and multiplies.
wow! you pretty much summed up what i was thinking. it is like, the traumatized child is stigmatized and marginalised and shamed and considered as broken or defective or lacking by society. so now not only he feels NOT SEEN by the ones who were SUPPOSED to provide emotional nourishment; but the SHAME about BEING SO EMOTIONALLY STARVED makes one keep everyone else at an arms length. bcz if they saw the love starved overlooked and abandoned child, they'd abandon them all over again.
...then we get this fun little complex called "pathological narcissism" where shame is the axis of all thinking and doing. Shame of being ashamed, shame of being seen as defective, shame of being seen as needing, shame of being seen in any negative light, shame at being "caught in the act", whatever that act may be. What might the act be? I don't know - my moral compass is screwed from so many different authorities forcing incompatible ideas down my throat that I've pretty much delegated that function to whoever can see me.
There is no right and wrong - only the vested interests of present company.
Trust is beautiful:
Betrayal, heartbreaking.
At the heart of every traumatic human experience in private or public it becomes an act of betrayal.
A jealous vindictive friend, the adulterous husband, or cheating wife, a promiscuous lover, are some of the most hurtful experience in relationships!
No matter how strong you think you are betrayal and cheating are desimating...
Broken heart crushed soul...
That pain can paralyze spouses into a depressive state of bitterness apathy and retribution.
Judas Iscariot
You have just summed up hell for anyone & everyone 🙏
@@King_Alfred_849 story of my life, loved too young
Yes
To leave addiction behind is to learn to be comfortable while being uncomfortable.
I know a man who smoked heavily all his adult life. Around 60 he got throat cancer. He gave up smoking. He told me he'd tried many times to give up and constantly failed. But when he got sick he succeeded and he said "It was the easiest thing I've ever done". I think habits and addictions seem big when we have them and smaller when behind us. Addictions are truly crippling, and are definitely a part of us trying to tell us something.
As someone who's struggled with addiction for 15 years, and has quit smoking multiple times, yeah smoking is vastly easier to quit than anything being used as a crutch to be social/get through life, that shit's difficult and soul crushing
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Thank u for sharing this 💗🙏💜
That's insane he smoked that long
@@vaporware666 smoking is my crutch.. For life and whiskey.. I'm dying I can feel it
Its a wonder that any of us get through childhood alive - let alone to become functioning adults.
miracle. grace of God
@@iPostiPodiEatiYuri Well then, God needs to get off his ass and get a whole lot busier.
@@theinkbrain Amen
@@iPostiPodiEatiYuri I like you and I bet you are a great human being. My guess is that you are tolerant and have a very lovely sense of humor. At any rate, God bless you.
@@theinkbrain woah appreciate the kind words!!
Indulging in addictive behaviour to flee from the reality in our lives. It just shows how intense life really is.
When You See THE LIES = DEATH & You, Cant' Fix IT That Makes Me Sick See Fake Money & Nuclear lies Come DUE
Ouch. This video hits hard. Growing up as a person with ADHD, OCD, giftedness, general health problems, failure to thrive, and the list goes on is too much for a kid to cope with. The mocking, rejection, and constant disbelief from others is enough to scar a child. Any time I remember these times I seek comfort in whatever flavor of the week addiction I might have.
I'm sorry you were falsely labeled. Hopefully you get away from the "family" that failed you and find normal humans to be in contact with. We're out there.
@@JoDo777 thank you.
@@JoDo777 no reason to put the word family in brackets. People often just don't know any better
I'm finally recovering from a very similar situation at 21 years old. The biggest problem I face is that I'm finally motivated to improve my condition but I can't start new activities because I don't get happiness from them I'm completely numbed to anything but my former addiction(gaming) and am unmotivated always. Atleast I don't have the impulse of anxiety to start gaming anymore because I got in shape and more confident which lowered my anxiety because I can now depend on myself.
I was failure to thrive, too. It was hard as a kid to be so behind everyone else. I understand your pain.
The uncovering of trauma has been a major theme in my life for the past few months, and I've been doing a lot of self therapy, writing, memory analysis and shadow work to try and figure it out and deal with my neurotic tendencies/ addiction(s). So good timing on the video once again, and hope this helps some people out.
A odd ? Ever heard of persona games? i haven't hear about shadow work but i know the concept though persona.
@@beyond-journeys-end the "Persona" games r all based on Carl Jung's theories on the self and personal/collective unconscious, the game "Control" also is heavily inspired by Jung's theories. U should watch this channels vids on Jung, they r a good introduction, they have a whole set.
@@egrytznr8893 While thank you, i bein thinking about learning more sinces Persona 4's classes.
@@beyond-journeys-end no problem, u should learn more it's very interesting
Thats really cool! I've been composing a piano sonata titled "Neurotica" with the same purpose.
To the *incredible person* seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.
I must imagine him happy
pushing that boulder up mountains
because de struggle itself towards great heights
is sufficient to replenish a man’s heart.
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🙄
A Very calming Video On, How Your Reality is Controlled by your thoughts and you dont even know it ruclips.net/video/RAw8OxEj-Rg/видео.html"
I've been watching Gabor's material since my teenage years, and no one has ever helped me as much as he and his work did. I faced my addictions from another perspective, with another awareness of myself, and with amazing results. Last month I started watching his lectures again, and I actually have In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts in my personal library, and i'm planning to read it soon. Now when I saw the notification on my phone with the title of the video, I knew immediately that it would be related in some way to Gabor's work. Thank you so much for making all these amazing videos! I am currently financially broke, but will become a member as soon as I can 🙏
Truth lives long and works far.
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Yea instantly thought of gabor!
Gabor is a charlatan... Who uses truths...
I was in a buddhist group - 13th Step Ghosts based on some of his stuff. It worked for me.
I'm so grateful for the perspectives that exist that tell me I'm not alone.. not that I'm addicted but that I'm not the only one who sees the condition of our falling western society.. thank you sir.
This comment ist gut
@@jcllien6932 what?
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@@rileywallace1132 "ist gut" is "is good" in German. :)
Intentional design
Painfully poignant as ever. Not going to be too obvious but this cuts deep. Best of luck to the others that know the horror of the cycle.
Thank you. I am eagerly anticipating the upcoming episodes mentioned in this one exploring the possible options for taking on a healthy and addiction-free life.
@collin 🙏 same
It’s over.
I'm dying
Yup, I hear ya. It helped dealing with my crippling speech problems. I want to drop out of Society and can't due to financial reasons. I hate it
I have a food addiction. It is absolutely killing me. I need to focus and conquer this. I've been suffering my whole life.
It's probably an oral fixation. Try looking at food as an energy source. Starvation diets don't work. Reduce, instead of eliminating junk foods and small and often. So instead of 3 large meals a day, divide your macro needs into 6 smaller meals and go on moderate cardio walks for 30 minutes each day. Eat more soluble fiber too. You can speed up your metabolism with this method and not have to work so hard. It takes 21 days to form a new habit to replace the old ones.
Using psychedelics with intent helped me more than I ever imagined they could... they're so much more than the party I thought they were when I was a kid
All so true. Thank you, Academy of ideas for addressing this. I am lucky to have survived a childhood of profound trauma, very frequent beatings, physical torture, psychological torture, molestation and rape all well underway before I was in grade school. The trauma led to a variety of addictions that wasted so much of my life and talent. Healing, however, is possible.I am still not exactly sure quite how I have mastered all my addictive habits and behaviors. I experienced some profound moments of self-compassion that helped me make better choices. Vigilant self-care is required. For me, a balanced approach including exercise, diet, sleep, meditation, creativity, radical self-acceptance and plenty of time in mother nature are all key. I wish you every success on this path. I love you! I believe in you! You are worth it and you deserve it!❤️
A Very calming Video On, How Your Reality is Controlled by your thoughts and you dont even know it ruclips.net/video/RAw8OxEj-Rg/видео.html"
I needed this. I'm still struggling with alcohol addiction and working to beat it everyday.
I just finished some reading material for a psychology course, and one thing about addictions: those that keep failing are the ones who often believe that they won’t be able to do it in the first place (ie low self-efficacy). This also applies to overcoming disorders as well. There is so much power in believing in yourself. Cheers to everyone commenting about their experiences, I’ve had addictions to relatively innocuous things (social media); I can’t imagine the will power that goes into the more serious cases. You’re all proof that it can happen!!
This rings true....15 years ago in rehab, we were told 3 out of the 12 will make it, 2 will relapse a couple of times but make it eventually and 7 will die. That was their sadistics after over 20 years.....and I remember thinking, ok so this shit is do-able. Well if it's do-able, I'm going to do it, I'm going to be one of the 3, and I was. I'm clean and sober since I left that place
The DUI crash that almost killed me
(Broken neck, four broken ribs, two months in Shock Trauma hospital)
Saved my life . He’s right, one part of my mind watched helplessly as the other forged ahead on the four decade plus alcohol addicted path to destruction. 3+ years sober now.
This video corroborates a fact that is ongoing in my circle of friends.
I'll try to summarise... I lived with a friend who has a daughter in her early teens. He had a very difficult childhood and became an adult addicted to alcohol, a lot of alcohol and one other illicit drug, besides being prone to violence. I talked to him a few times, but he didn't even want to know. His daughter, who tried to commit suicide five months ago, spent five days in hospital detoxing. She spends most of the day locked in her room or in the bathroom, putting on make-up and surfing the Internet on her mobile phone.
Once again, thank you very much for posting another video and spreading knowledge.
This sounds like my life - my parents had the problems from their parents who went thru WW1, the Great Depression, WWll, with one parent being orphaned due to a major earthquake in 1931 .
It was 'fun' growing in a whole community like that - PTSD, STRESS & more were daily events. My dads addictions were tobacco & alcohol, mum stayed off both as she had 4 miscarriages to live with.
Surprised I turned out as good as I did - no alcohol, or addictions to pharmacutical drugs nor other drugs that come out of a laboratory. Hemp, is a herb & medicinaly useful, without addiction.
@@stephen6739 I trust you have recovered as much as is possible now, and that you stay recovered.
Namaste 🙏
I'm a recovering addict of 6 years, an addiction counselor, a recovery coach, a man who is passionate about recovery....and I approve this message.
When i ended 10 years of opiate addiction i was so happy that i could feel sadness stress excitement ... Again
i rather feeling depressed or anxious than feeling nothing ,living like a zombie , we can't emotionally evolve and grow and heal if we don't feel
Deep change only happens when you see and feel something with seriousness then your mind moves and grows , an addict lacks of emotional which is created by substance prevents him to change his life ,which creates a unsolvable loop
I feel like cigarettes are killing my ability to feel anything, or to strive for something better, but everyone around me (especially my cig addicted dad) tell me that "its okay, you can stop another time, just focus on this or that problem" which makes me think they dont really give a shit about me or they really secretly hate me and wish me nothing but dread and misery...
@@fauberkaupfmann982 hopefully you overcome it but cig doesn't have much effect on emotions or mental health ,on the contrary it's your mental condition that causes your addiction and other issues
it's common for all addicts to downplay the dangers and seriousness of their substance , I'm sure he could react differently if he wasn't a smoker or if he could have stopped smoking himself ; if i don't really care for myself how can i care for someone else
Though regardless of what he says ,it's how you feel and think that is the important thing!
On other hand what do you expect of him or anyone else to do about you smoking cig
no one can do anything even if they truly care , the sooner you realize that only you're the problem and solution and no one but you can sabotage or heal yourself better , same as any mental issue addiction also is always only yours to bare , at best others can only feel sad and sorry for us in the end we are the only one that suffers and can do something about it
We must first know and understand ourselves to find any resolve and peace
@@fauberkaupfmann982 they are just dying corpses who dont know anything about love and health
Congratulations!!!! It’s been 4 years for me
Fighting a life of opiates. I narrowed it down to difficulty dealing with the new world. I’m clean now, and using delta 8 as an anti depressant to help me appreciate what’s out there.
Remember one day at a time!!! You got this💪🏾
How's your D8 substitution going? I found that stuff just as addictive as anything else. Were you able to not just become a D8 pothead like I did? Congratulations on being of the hard stuff, at least you know that you won't just die from that stuff like everybody else.
I smoke pot. It's my last vice. I have a deep hatred for my addictions. I've fought and defeated alcoholism(4 years), nicotine(7 years), video game obsession(lifelong and although i still play on occasion i have moderation now), facebook(3 years), and energy drinks(7 years). My spine hurts to a degree that i have difficulty breathing and i force myself to suffer through it daily. The loneliness keeps me smoking pot but i will defeat it. It's always a matter for another day in better circumstances. Each time i buy more i feel disgusted and weak, I really wish i had more strength to face this world uninhibited.
I don't know who is behind those videos,but you bring light in a world of darkness.
I find it very annoying how he keeps shrouding himself in mystery like this, as if he was just a desembodied voice, which he isn't. He doesn't even aknowledge any of the comments on his videos.
As a prior addict to multiple different substances at different stages, I appreciate this video very much. Thank you.
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I'm glad that y'all said the truth, that addiction can come from ANYWHERE (especially in mine and my dads experience) and not just videogames, some people tend to forget that excessive time spent playing videogames isn't the only issue society has today.
I'm from a different generation and mine was reading.
I can see how any available distraction can be used as an addiction.
Thank you for creating these videos, this channel is a favorite of mine.
Gabor Mate's work about childhood trauma and its ties to addiction has given me a deeper insight into how my early life evolved into its current state. Being an emotionally neglected and abandoned child I became the epitome of the addict as depicted in the video. From substances, media, pornography to alcohol it has all been a way for me to manage the chronic emotional pain within. At 27 I feel as though my whole life has been a perpetual cycle of emotional pain, self soothing through addictions which then leads to poor decisions and actions turning into intense guilt and shame, then the final stage ends up being loneliness, isolation, chronic anxiety and depressive episodes. The cycle then starts again, with the added negative emotions exacerbating the original problem.
All the while I've been able to create a business and have success in it. I have my own place and am blessed with many passions and creative outlets. So I suppose I'm high functioning, my addictions don't paralyze me from normal adult responsibilities I guess. But it does feel like being in a constant state of fight or flight, alone trying to survive. I'm
ambitious and often hopeful, but I know with a strong conviction that I cannot make lasting changes alone. Tried it, time and time again, it doesn't work.
I have mentioned some of my internal world to family yet I'm met with reactions that feel like my words just wisped right through them and it meant nothing. I sense their silence to say okay change the subject, buck up and deal with it kind of thing. Therefore I have a strong sense that it's time to seek out a therapist who has the professional training and knowledge to help. I don't expect family or friends to be expert level therapists but I do find it quite sad how calloused and out of touch that many are when it comes to the emotions of others and themselves. I pray for a continuing cultural shift with our relationship to mental health, in particular for men. The stereotype that men keep quiet, mask their true feelings and deal with all of this alone may be true, but it's not doing any of us any good fellas.
I hardly ever comment on anything, a few times a year maybe, but I felt compelled to comment here today. This is a vital topic to bring up, and if you relate to any of the above, know that this is a battleground that many of us are walking on. It's time for us to break the silence.
Hopefully you can find what's needed to heal, to discontinue the addiction. Have you asked God to help you? If not, perhaps it's worth a shot, as nothing is beyond His ability. Much love and best wishes
I have it together as far as work but beyond that I fail so often. The issue that eats me the most is my 5 year daughter not having a sober daddy. I can tell she can tell I'm a mess . She doesn't live with me but I see her most days as she lives only couple min ride away..... I'm 41 , veteran , been in fatal car crash that my friend died and I absorbed the impact suffering massive head trauma and it changed me forever, that was Feb 23 , 2002. It occurred right after I came home from 1/75th Ranger battalion which often times I point to as a major culprit for my shortcomings. One time in 2008 I believe I stayed sober 11 months . I've been using something the rest of the time. Beer daily , I am currently using stimulants. I became addicted to opiates while serving in army and its remained a struggle to this day although I went 10 years without touching an opiate into 2016 an oxy was put in front of me and as of today I'm on suboxen. Been to detox and rehab a number of times and what a waste of time and effort that circus is. Oh well. I guess i am pretty functional as I said the only thing in life I'm responsible about is my work (I also take good care of my teeth) , I try to be a good daddy , she will be here in about 2 hours and I believe she will spend night. I don't know what to do with her when it's just she and I. Her mommy is such a great mom , I struggle to find ways to keep her occupied.
Stay strong, brother! Children are naturaly curious and will pay attention to you if you focus your attention on them. Something which might help would be getting a dog. You would have another sentient being around that depended on you and that could help you practice for when she is with you. If you choose your dog wisely, it could get along very well with your daughter (If exposed to in a young age, chidren will, generally, love animals.) When she is over, you could play with them both together and that would break the ice, so to speak.
Yea Gabor’s Mate’s book was so good. I never looked at homeless and drug addicts the same. He really persuaded me to not look down on anyone. Epigenetics, toddler’s brain being 80-90% the size of an adult etc is brushed under the rug and the pull your boot straps myth that’s perpetuated in culture was implemented to get Institutions and social structures off the hook because of laziness and it saves money. Nobody likes the idea that they are a good person because they were lucky being born into the family, situation, and life experiences. Ego ego ego 🐍 CAN’T WAIT FOR HIS NEXT BOOK BREAKINGN ANOTHER MYTH OF CRAZINESS ✨ He’s so real 🔥
You are spot on. I look back, shake my head, and realize I'm only half the man I could've been. I wonder how I was able to get through and hold down good jobs. Childhood trauma left me vulnerable to addiction. I don't want to feel sorry for myself nor blame my parents when I realize they did the best they could.
It's time to take personal responsibility and reclaim what's left of my life.
That's a very healthy way of thinking. I feel the same. Have to enjoy some of the gift called Life.
in a world where it feels out of control in so many aspects, the last thing i want to lose control of is myself. to be honest that concept is what gives me the drive to fight any addictions, & avoid new ones. I refuse to live a slave to impulse.
I know exactly how addiction begins, being very susceptible myself. I've had alcohol, sex and gambling addictions and am currently addicted to the Internet - it's obsessive. As I conquer one addiction, the next one always kicks in. In everything that can be addictive there is a moment of elation that strikes you. The makers of casino games use that moment, when even a small win on a slot machine triggers a bell or tune. Then, like a lab rat, they forever chase that moment, but it's never the same elation as the first time you experience it, so you keep chasing it trying bigger and bigger doses of whatever triggered it the first time. There is a thing in animal conditioning called 'intermittent reward. If the behavior is only rewarded at random times, the animal becomes even more desperate and learns the behavior quicker.
Now, if you want to talk about how one develops the type of personality that is stimulated to that degree, so easily, then I might attribute it to childhood trauma, abandonment, being an outcast. I have no idea how that link to addiction, but every addict, of any habit or substance that I've ever met shares that past.
yeah. When people say "addictive personality" that always felt kind of lazy to me. It goes so much deeper than that. "What caused your personality to be so susceptible to addiction" is what should be discussed. I'm sure there's examples of it but I've never met anyone who just spontaneously decided to give up their own self control for no apparent reason just for giggles. There has to already be the right conditions in place for a habit to transform into a full blown addiction. I'm kind of in the same boat with the internet but mostly this stupid site right here. It's very tricky because it's not like any other addiction at all. Just a constant flux of gorging on information and content to an unhealthy degree but also simultaneously providing great content like these videos and countless others that inspire and enlighten. It's kind of twisted because even very positive and educational things get caught up in the addictive mix which makes it all the more confusing. For me personally I think at least as far as all this goes as well as plenty of these other vices at least at the moment, stem from my sense of almost complete isolation from the outside world for several years now. I work from home. No close, or really even distant friends to speak of. Family are almost all dead or unresponsive and far away. Even as I struggle desperately with the aspects of my addictions the crushing weight of loneliness is always there to constantly try and convince me that it's all quite pointless and none of it is worth fighting for or caring about in the first place. Everyday is a constant battle against those thoughts. Fought alone. In solitude. These stilted brief little messages back and forth with strangers is more or less my only communication with the outside world. And it's perpetually unsatisfying but go out and try to meet people now in real life. See how that works out. Good luck. People are completely locked into this technological trance. Unable to hardly even make eye contact for longer than a glance or two up from some kind of screen. It's pretty horrific honestly. And I'm not excluding myself entirely from that but I will say I'm not really lost in my phone really. I try to appreciate the experience of being around other people and pay attention to what they're saying but it is seldom returned or even acknowledged. Thus I end up retreating back to my solitude and chemical bandages and the vicious cycle continues.
As a young kid I felt anxiety all the time and was scared to ask for help. I began watching TV in all my free hours and later gaming all the time to supress my anxiety and negative emotions.
@@Shlogger My first (lengthy) reply to your well written post disappeared, but let me say. I am 65 and struggled my whole life to be sociable. There were times when I was in a very public job and I forced myself to be sociable, day after day. And I became more and more depressed about living a lie. That was not who I was. The day I gave up being someone other than who I am, the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. I once asked a therapist if he thought it strange that I have always needed to be alone and he said that he believed it was a definite personality type.
The only hard part about being a loner is if you feel that you shouldn't be. Apart from the 3 days a week that I work now, I am completely alone. I love it. Sometimes I actually feel ecstatic that I've finally accepted who I am. No more pretense of any kind.
Good luck on your life's journey. I hope you finally find the self acceptance that I have.
A Very calming Video On, How Your thoughts control your life without you knowing about it ruclips.net/video/RAw8OxEj-Rg/видео.html"
Abusive parents always do some little thing that holds out hope.
If one catches a glimmer of it occasionally, he'll keep trying to meet that basic human need.
Ok. So i tried 3 times this year to quit smoking. It lasted for nearly a month, and then i was slowly, but surely, sucked back in. Mostly because i felt a void, because i couldn't connect with others. Perhaps, because most of my friends are smokers. Most of what you're talking is pretty clear to me, but the part that struck the most was the void filling thing.
Maybe it's our society, that is running like mad, put us under constant pressure and never give us the space to fully articulate our soul and spirituality, that is stopping me. Maybe i should quit one more time and try to fix my inner problems and get more aware of my spirituality. Hopefully this will be the missing link, i never truly understood.
You guys doing fantastic work. Keep it up. I will try your course the next days, maybe you got more insights i didn't truly see. But let me first finish my last cigarette. Love you guys
@@justzo594 Thanks alot. I will try this too.
But i doubt there is an easy way :)
8:18 was really a thing, that struck hard . Maybe i should also read "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts"
@@justzo594 Thanks :)
Carl Jung's active imagination mathod was what saved me. It made a MASSIVE ammount of unconscious information conscious and rekindled the flame of the inner god within me. You could give it a try.
@@andredelacerdasantos4439 so do have any literature on this part? i found one book that is a collection of his methods. How do you get in touch with it, and how do you learn to do it? i'm very curious about it :)
The way I did it, was I started reading his Red Book. I wasn't even planning on writing anything, I simply sat down and started typing one day while reading it. The objective is to allow scenarios to show themselves without judgement and you will simply navigate those scenarios with an active mindset. My therapist calls my journey a dream. In many ways it is like a waking dream.
As a social media addict, which I am currently working on, the words of Gabor Maté were special. I dont know why but hearing the words of Gabor Maté made felt like those words of compassion were like hugs. Like showing where one went probably wrong but not in a degrading way rather out of a place of love to heal the wounds of the past.
Thank you for this great video and I wish everyone the best of luck on their journey to a fulfilling life.
This video perfectly describes me, everyone I know and maybe even humanity itself.
Relax. This is one mans view of the world. Take it for what it is and use it to help yourself and others.
To suffer and die is your destiny-
Now shoot each other’s with guns and cannons;
And they do so!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS! Addiction is such a complex topic when considered in context with the full scale of the human mind, yet so many dismiss those most heavily afflicted as being 'beneath them' whilst denying the potential for or presence of addiction within themselves, so much so that there is little shared understanding or, consequently, compassion for the afflicted within our current culture. Videos like this NEED to be made, seen, and understood.
If we made a rational assessment of addiction we’d conclude it’s more prevalent in society than is first thought. A craving for wealth or personal success or adulation by one’s peers, is seen as positive but the ethos is an addictive personality chasing something they’re powerless to control within themselves. When people have more money than they could spend in a multitude of lifetimes it’s an addiction that drive them into that state. Regrettably their power enables them to spin it as a positive behaviour. It’s an addiction, plain and simple, which they validate, as any addict does to dismiss their problem. As you say, it’s a complex problem.
"My sharpest tool is my broken mind.
Can it fix itself, be realigned?"
-Me
How do you want to fix it? Do you want it to cut better or be safer? Cause you can't have both.
- Dr. Worm
Another really great video from my favorite Patreon creators! As someone who spent a lifetime suffering from the effects of abuse and attendant addictions, this video really hits home. I spent much time in therapy trying to find a way out. Yet all I did was better understand what caused it. I never found a way out of that hole...until I learned the art of Mindfulness. My mind came up with a thousand reasons why I shouldn't learn this, but eventually I stopped resisting after reading the excellent book "Why Buddhism is True" by Robert Wright.
The common belief that addiction is a lack of self-control and one chooses to engage in it is patently false. Until you learn to clearly see the poisonous thoughts that well up from your subconscious that triggers the emotions you use addictions to escape from , you are never really free. All we experience is the painful emotions. We never see the thoughts that generate them. Attempting self-control, I have seen some just switch an addiction not accepted by society, like alcohol or drugs, to one that is, like work or religion. Mindfulness is learned through consistent and constant meditation. It helps you clearly see those poisonous thoughts before they trigger painful and negative emotions, and once you get very good at this (it takes a lot of practice), those thoughts disappear under the weight of your conscious recognition. Your addictions then start to slide away.
I love your videos. You are feeding a hunger that can't be satisfied with bread but with knowledge.
Now imagine a society that creates environments and catalysts that become childhood trauma purposely.
Are you referring to circumcision?
👍🏻
@@ghoul4748 You could also say China
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING!!
Genius is only permitted when harnessed by the elite.
In every other case it is destroyed, nullified, or demonized.
Thank you for this video. This is a very important subject that we all deal with either directly or indirectly. For anyone reading this, understand that addiction largely stems from trauma. Heal the trauma, and kicking the addiction will be 100X easier.
How do you heal the trauma of the world being wrong? Is there a pill for that doctor? Should I see a therapist to tell me who needs to be culled to make this better?
I am forever grateful for all the work that goes into putting each and every single one of your videos up. Of all the channels that I am subscribed to, this is literally the only one that I have have the bell on to be notified the moment there is a new video. Amazing work, and awesome insight with every video without fail! thanks you.
I could not agree more with the points made in the video. Wishing everybody who struggles with addiction the power to overcome the "hungry ghost".
Thank you! This is such an important topic that is destroying so many in this world. This brought me to tears , knowing what a vicious cycle this is. I'm so thankful that I have been able to conquer myself! 🙏🏽💕
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Posted on my birthday...how fitting. Thank you for touching on this critical subject.
Very well presented, Sir. Addiction is one of the most misunderstood topics i come across in society. As a budding biologist, it's troubling to see not just the common people but authorities as high as the judiciary see addicts for their desposition rather than their despair.
I will do my part to share this video & again, thankyou!
Desposition doesn't seem to be in my Oxford. What do you mean by it?
@@dixonpinfold2582 I apologize, i meant to say disposition!
You know, I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. There is an underlying despair factor but the way out of it lies in their will to abandon their disposition. There's a difference between an addict who copes and reaches out for help an addict who's aggressive and is unreachable.
True.. They want me dead.. I've been fighting back for the last 9 months
A Very calming Video On, How Your Reality is Controlled by your thoughts and you dont even know it ruclips.net/video/RAw8OxEj-Rg/видео.html"
This is your best video yet. I love your studies of philosophy but combining that with drugs, addiction and Gabor ticks all my boxes. Thanks dude.
Don't forget the art. I know it was painted by others, but it's awesome to see it all collected here.
@@natashamudford4011 you should watch a channel called academy of ideas, if you don’t already. It’s just the best philosophy and art every episode.
I am the Scapegoat of my family but my parents were never abusive, nor became angry with me unless I did something knowingly wrong or stupid. I had a wonderful child hood but I am alcoholic and I started drinking in high school and then in college via my fraternity, consuming beer. The consumption with my Frat Brothers contributed to my drinking momentum at around Mach 1. I never married and experienced difficulty maintaining long-term relationships with women. The glitter of being a bachelor has been long gone for decades @ Age 56.
Stay strong, brother, focus on a craft
Certainly one of the most important videos ever to appear on RUclips.
As Alan watts said- the very act of obsessing over quitting an addiction is just another form of the trap. Universal knowledge makes these things make sense & people need to realize that they have free will. If we weren’t so afraid of death and didn’t see ourselves as separate from nature and all of the greed and duality of society, we wouldn’t need drugs.
Alan watts died of alcoholism .. lol
@@kevinmcelroy1849 does spreading misinformation help your cause? Bc if it does that is very sad, mr. CIA agent 😂
@@skrwdUNi I like Alan watts a lot but look into his alcoholism. Doesn’t mean he was a bad person
Ppl like to stir shit up and cause more complexity within situations or conversations than needed, because theres something in us that just likes creating conflict...someone is always going to find a problem(s) in what you say no matter how upfront and direct and true it is because we simply aren’t completely entertained or satisfied with simplicity...some ppl just won’t listen to someone giving advice about not smoking cigarettes if that person smokes cigarettes...or in this case here..which happens to be about alcohol....so since he died of alcoholism basically means that he’s not allowed to say anything about alcohol addiction that can possibly help someone save their own life....it means he must not have anything good to really say....he’s not taken serious...he has nothing viable to say regarding alcohol addiction whatsoever because ultimately it was the thing that took him out in the end....ppl love to focus on the dumb shit away from the point when really it’s the message that matters...and not so much the messenger.....
@@rogueelephant7994 he died of natural causes in his sleep
Day 1 of quitting a particular drug. Here we go. Thanks for the vid. They help.
I wish you well, and just know it's not easy but it's worth it.
Great video once again! I have learned the best way to deal with a problem is to acknowledge it. I am the Son of a Heroin addict and feel I have learned addictive behavior from Him. Although I never tried that Drug even though I have been offered many times, I have struggled with Alcoholism, excessive thinking, even Shopping. The past 2 years or So have added many stressors that have prompted me to indulge in my vices, but This Channel and many others help me get back on track. Thank you!
Thanks for this. I am an addict, and two months sober.
Proud of you🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾
If ever a video sums addiction up this is it. Listened 4 x times now and agree totally . Ffwd this clip to my family that also suffered due to my addiction. This is not an excuse to them for my addiction. But to beat this we must all understand it. And i am beating this at the moment. Mostly due to a renewed sense of taking RESPONSIBILITY for my life. It doesn't owe me ANYTHING. My thoughts are with the suffering person if it is you. I know it is a prison of the mind. May you stand up, take this and BEAT this. You are better,,,, than you think....
The difference between religion and spirituality is that religion tells us hell exists and to fear it.. Those who become spiritual have been there. Fear is the energy most easily created en masse... Thing is fear is not real. We are the sum of our thoughts... Keep them light, attitude of gratitude, abundance mindset, go within and access true joy. Free yourself. Only love is real.. Oneness, unity consciousness, soul family, meditation... You are not alone, I love you x
What sets my mind on fire is silent weapons for quiet wars against the family
Did anyone right a prequel to Brave New World? Seems like we are living in that realm.
Natasha Mudford George Orwell did. His work, 1984, described the means of control whilst Aldus Huxley’s Brave New World depicted the result.
Solution: Sit in silence, observe your internal state, deduce which thoughts are yours and which are not, discover that the observer is not the mind (thoughts).
Once you find your real point of reference you can divest yourself of thoughts that are not conducive to survival. Thoughts remain, but they don't catch.
The hidden problem is that not all thoughts are generated by us.. we are susceptible to external influences that can trigger or inject thoughts i.e. possession.
This video made me think about my abusive ex who came from a dark place of toxic parenting. She had an history of multiple addictions. I feel sorry for her and wish her to one day be able to leave her survival mode to actually live her life.
“Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new.” -Augustine Og Mandino
LOVE FROM A SMALL RUclipsR .
Excellent work. My mind was in a cage for thirty years. The substance used or behavior enacted was irrelevant as long as the common denominator was satisfied: a release of dopamine in my brain. Somehow the words of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus and The Dark Philosopher inspired something within me and I am now free. Thank you.
Exercise is a great, healthy option. It's extremely hard to replace something with nothing. Much easier if there's another focus to work towards.
Man I love your channel! I have been battling mild and seasonal depression since almost 5 years now and just now am I starting to understand the real causes behind it. Your videos have helped me a lot in coping with it and keeping a positive mindset in these tough times. Keep up the good work man!
Never have I heard truer words! Well said.
These videos are pure gold. Thank you for making them, and I hope you continue to do so.
Hear! Hear!!
I see the pain and self medication motivation. I didn't drink until my second marriage where I proceeded into the bottle and stayed for ten years. I realized what I was doing to myself and I stopped drinking. Three months later I left my spouse and didn't touch a drop for ten years. Now I can enjoy a class of wine without the need for another. I have not been drunk since I walked away from the marriage 25 years ago. I wasn't an alcoholic, I was living in a bad situation for me and I medicated myself. Alcoholism was a choice and not a medical condition in my case--I needed to escape. I faced the problem, beat it, and the "addiction" went away. The cure is your force of will and willingness to change be it internally or externally.
My mom was a neglectful Narcissist who covered up the abusive methods of our psychopathic rather. Both were diagnosed later in life. I was an alcoholic until age 32, when I forgave my parents and discarded them forever. My father recently died and I was able to properly mourn instead of hate him thanks to having forgiven him.
Haven't had a drink in 2 years.
Mom's addiction was abusing religion, worshiping herself. Dad's was booze. They were both addicted to their horrendous methodology.
Always synchronous when these episodes drop. Ive been noticing this phenomenon recently, staring at the hallowness i feel after i gave into them, how apathetic, regretful and sad. Like i was outside of myself after the fact.
I always look forward to your videos. Thank you for sharing such calm, clear and conscious messages. You have a fascinating mind and spirit. Take care
Amen!
I am so thankful I watched this video, as a 30 yr old who has experienced all what is talked about in this video, it has really helped me to relate to my feelings and understand them a bit better.
Ps. I appreciate all the other commenters on this video as well
Love this kind of content as someone struggling. Ive always been an avid watcher of your videos please make more
Stay Well Its NOT U The LIES OF THE WORLD Can't Make US Sick ...... OK Get it Fix It Tech
This is why I do the work that I do! Very inspired by your channel. Love your content.
A very hard hitting video especially since I just failed nnn... That tragic and brief moment of euphoria only cost me disappointment and shame in the failure to uphold a promise to myself. I've prayed for forgiveness and redemption. This video serves as an answer to that call. Looking forward to your upcoming content!
I haven't made nnn ever :( I'm getting better though.
A brilliant video! Thank you. I can't wait to share this with my niece and nephew who I've been taking care of since they were young because their listeners were both serious drug addicts.
Careful not to trigger them in a vulnerable momment.
Thank you for your caring. Yeah, I've been taking care of them for over five years now and have been slowly preparing them for the pitfalls that lay in wait for them. I appreciate your concern though 🙏
Love Gabor Mate! I've found him to be particularly inspiring is his humility, his identifying with the addicted souls he sought to help, and in that recognizing his own addictions, all despite his personal success.
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Personal success becomes an addiction in itself. It’s the definition of an addictive positive that fools society into encouraging this behaviour when it’s equally destructive to a negative addiction. Every businessman is an addict riding the highs and lows of the next deal. As wealth concentrates in these people poverty increases and negatively viewed addictions result in the lower end of society. We’d do well to consider what constitutes an addiction and remove positive labels from destructive actions.
@@brynleytalbot778 Amen!
Grew up in an abusive household where my development was slightly stunted by 2 years due to my parents control. Now I struggle with putting down reefer.
Thank you for your video.
There is a real set of quality artworks accompanying the narrative here.
Being a product of an alcoholic and emotionally distant mother, I do understand the facts that are stated in this video, quite well. I've been sober for 5 years now myself. But, my addictive behaviors play out in other ways of my life, such as compulsive exercise. The feeling of it all is trying to feel the void; the deep, dark, black hole, that can't be filled.
The only one who can fill that void is Jesus Christ. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you and He will. God bless you
@@justust4872 JeeZus! He can't do anything, Bruh. My own self determination and self compassion is what gets me through the day. 😇
This makes sense & everyone should listen to it.ill send it on,a lot of ppl suffer addiction.quicker they get into it & more encouragement youth get to avoid addiction the better societies will become.
I Love this channel. I tell people about it if they seem to be struggling in life or experience dissatisfaction and as it goes, this channel helped me a ton whilst I was waiting for treatment. That was 2 years ago now.
Oi Oi to all fellow travellers trudging the road - what a blessing 💛
Acknowledge and accept with loving kindness embracing ( hugs) giving space and as much time as needed as an objective Father, to all of your issues and every emotion as you would a wounded and orphaned and abandoned
And rejected and devalued and degraded and neglected inner child and as you do you will start to transform for ex. from a feeling/ issue of rejection to a feeling / issue of acceptance like a caterpillar in your bitterness and hate to a butterfly in your resolution in love.
This process has changed my life and i am being transformed from glory to glory into my true self daily!
Good job bringing up Mate message, when I grew up I always thought "it can't be that everyone except me is crazy - so I must be the problem" but it turns out that our entire culture is based on trauma and is deeply sick. But try to open with his line in a party see what it gets you.
Thank you. I am an addict myself (about 11 years now) and would have to say that you described addiction very well. Probably the best explanation I've ever come across. Glad your on this topic and hope to see you go further in depth with this.
*”Success is based off of your willingness to work your butt off no matter what obstacles are in your way.”- David Goggins*
Success is based on chance presenting itself when you can follow it. Obstacles can be construed in positive ways if they direct you to other better routes. Working your butt off blinds you to opportunities chance brings your way as you deluded yourself about being right about your path and missed them.
Goggins suffers from addiction
It was quite refreshing to hear about addiction that did not revolve entirely around drugs and alcohol. An addiction can be any behavior that stimulates an excitatory response that is repeated many times over. A very well presented video.
Very thought provoking indeed, cant wait to dive into your next videos!
We even may have an answer for a purpose in life, because looking out for a way to heal from trauma and stay healthy may very well be ones life purpose.
Purpose is to Evolve yourself Upwards
To Uplift yourself from lower to Upper
To live as the best possible the Highest Self you can be
From Lower to Upper
To do this is really simple
CHOOSE TO
Once you 100% CHOOSE to go up into your Higher mind to become A High Minded Self live from there
Your mind Energies instantly change to move in that direction
I know this because I was shown this in a vision
Used what was shown
Just to Simply Decide to say no to lower self
Mind takes over does the rest
I now teach same to others
It really is as simple as making the Choice 100% holding that choice
Self discipline is required but again is easy if mind in the Direction of Choice You make
Simple as telling yourself NO
Using higher Mind Higher Self to keep it a No as it automatically will
Give your will to the Power within you to take over to Have control to Reign SUPREME within and it just takes over does its job nothing is required by lower you,
An Awakened Self to your Highest self within is the Most Powerful Power a Human possess
Is available to use whenever we want to
It really is as simple as choosing to switch mind over from Lower Minded to Higher Minded Self 💯
It's making the choice to Switch over from lower mind to higher mind
It's not Trusting ourselves & Believing in ourselves our Higher Minded selves that stops us moving Up into Our Higher Minds
(This has been represented to us in many many symbols over time many kingdoms Empires it's shown as A Higher Mind Projection for us all to see
Think Upper lower Egypt
A minds Projection representative of how it all works Within us All projected outwards so we can see it visually outside of ourselves then apply it within ourselves
All Royalty is a representative of our Minds Capacity Capability
To choose live In from Our Lower mind selves or to Uplift ourselves upwards into our Higher Minded selves
This was also what Christ represented the birth crucifixtion death of Marys lower self it's all about MARY as it was all Mary's Creation Mary moving up into her Higher Mind had to sacrifice her lower self to her highest self why Mary is the whole Story, the Whole story of Chrystalising yourself up into your Highest best Self
Why Mary is there from beginning to end
Not a true story but a guide into ourselves & our two minds
Upper
Lower
Making a Simple choice to live as One or the other
Once the choice is made 100% made
The mind takes over does its own thing takes us from here to there, starts Automatically rearranging things for us from Within to Without
True story
Just Have Faith Trust Belief in yourself your own Power within
The problem comes in that none of us has been taught to Believe in ourselves
We are all taught to turn to others other Powers outside of ourselves to trust Believe in that over ourselves
Which is the real tragedy of what's done to us as children that's the Abuse that was done to Us !
As Within As Without
Gave up 15 year drug habit instantly
Healthy Wealthy Wise trinity of life