Love how the ex and his family kept incriminating themselves. Cause acting like a psycho is really gonna help you get custody of your child. And guess what? It didn’t and OP got full custody
@@fruxo4218you really should, the comment was talking about the father of nate acting psycho when he smashed the glass in at OPs parents house. In which case yes, OP got full custody
@@SwiftiferHusk well, The author of this fanfiction probably did that because some of people where pointing out point out that she indeed over reacting over to a sleep over. If the father turns into a psycho it pretty much makes any critic have to shut their mouth because they’re verifiably wrong. It’s a pretty common writing technique.
@@saraashley464 you do realize this was a made up story right probably most of the things you’ve read on Reddit is made up. Look, don’t get your life advice from Reddit. It’s a bunch of ideologues writing a fake scenarios that verify their beliefs they don’t have any understanding of the real world for example, there’s no way the cops would be able to do anything about the sleepover. They had the fathers permission.
@@Indicolite_h what do you mean? What’s so confusing? You know there’s a lot of people who overlook bullying because it’s their kid and as soon as their kid gets bullied the parents will go after the other kid. Once you read/watch more of these you’ll know exactly how a lot of people think and act. It won’t be rocket science
Men raise men, I know some cousins who raised by moms who let anyone walk over them. Thats how the son sounds, the father wants to teach his son its a dog eat dog world out there cause he knows, but mom will never understand. The Aunt however is out of line
I’m shocked at the fact that he told his wife that his sister was unstable right now and was angry that she pulled this stunt. So, if she was that unstable, why would you let your child go to that home? Knowing that his son is being bullied, he sent him off to an unstable woman who can’t keep her abusive child under control? He basically admitted that he sent his son there to toughen up. As in, to be abused.
A "girl" would be better than a carbon copy of Nate's father, for sure. And the fact that he thinks raising a gentle and sensitive but healthy son is bad, and somehow compares it to "girls" as if he would have hated to have a daughter, is clearly a huge problem with his view on the sexes... and it highlights his view that boys are somehow _supposed_ to fight, which is bonkers bazonkers to say the least. 😥
Of course the sister smashes things in a rage and loses custody of HER OWN BULLY CHILD, but it's suddenly OP's fault that she's unfit to be a mother lmfao. 💀
Some people don’t see children as actual people worthy of respect. If two adults didn’t like each other and didn’t want to be around each other it would be no big deal. But when it’s children, all of a sudden they just need to get over it so the adults can be comfortable and not be inconvenienced.
"My son's well-being is more important than maintaining relationships" - that's when I knew she's a good mother. I was bullied as a kid and my mother or father never protected me. I know her son's fear of going to school all too well. If I was this mother... I don't know, I'd probably seriously injure several people there. I don't think I would've hold myself like she did if I saw my kid going through the same thing I went through. Very good mother. God bless her.
I have no idea how OP could ever be a Karen in this story, as some comments state... The father willingly sent his bullied son to a sleepover at his bully's house, fully aware that he was potentially endangering the kid's physical and mental health, and without telling OP about it. And sure enough, Nate was subjected to both physical and mental ab*se while he was there. Calling CPS on both the husband and SIL was COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED! Also, husband's mommy trying to dismiss HURLING A POTTED PLANT THROUGH A WINDOW as a "prank" is almost hilarious. Had OP come down to talk to him, instead of a potted plant, it'd probably have been her skull.
@@darkknight3037 School has teaching staff that are both legally allowed and expected to care for children and stop bullying from happening, and in many places it is illegal _not_ to send your kid to school. This is in no way the same situation. Bullying is not adequately stopped in schools, but that's a complaint to direct at the school system and not at the parents who have no choice but to send their kids to school.
@@darkknight3037 You do understand that both parents need to consent where their child will be? Not telling her is essentially kidnapping, she didn't know if her kid wa okay, he was sent to stay with an abusive aunt, abusive cousin an his opinion on the matter was completely dismissed and ignored. OP did the right thing, school is very different, the bullies can get detention, suspension or even expulsion if you have enough proof of the bullying. School is essentially obligatory for kids, and you can have cps called on you for not letting them attend school. Op had every right to call CPS on them, she explicitly said she didn't want her son alone with his aunt and cousin, the son also didn't want to be near them. It's stupid to compare school to familiar issues. Taking a child from a safe space without parents consent is kidnapping, and worthy of cps. The kid was literally bullied, both physically and mentally, was forced to sleep without having eaten anything, was forces out of his safe space, and you say that's not worthy of cps? I feel sorry if you have any kids and have that mentality.
Relationship is built on two parties trust and security. The husband deciding and completely undermining his wife's judgement and care clearly shows he does not trust her to make right decisions for son. I blame the husband and SIL for this entire ordeal, there is nothing wrong with OP's decisions and judgement. I would laugh in their faces if they told me i was wrong and it was my fault. SIL breaking down says more about her mental state and shows how unfit she is to be a mother.
"I'm going to fight for custody!" And decides getting drunk and harassing his wife, after celebrating getting rid of her with an obviously testosterone poisoned family, was the best thing to do.
As someone who was bullied by my cousin. I fully support op. I didn't talk to my cousin for 4ish years until we were adults. Our relationship is better now.
This just shows how selfish SIL truly is. Her ex is doing just fine (at least on the surface) after their breakup and is putting his sons need before his own, meanwhile SIL is self loathing, throwing tantrums and neglecting her son over a man she wasnt even married to.
The baby daddy isn't the same guy that she just broke up with. The ex she is so upset about was with her for 3 years. But I don't think she was married to either.
How I would approach the topic: "Your Dad is going through a bad/rough time and he's not safe around us until he gets help. It's not your fault and I know you're confused so we'll be talking to someone to help us too!"
He only wants custody of his son to punish him and put him back in the environment of his horrid sister and their family to teach him how to not be “a girl”.
This is a story of a very good mother, who thinks of her child's well being first. Good mothers defend their children from anyone including another parent.
if he KNEW kim was unstable and is using this to guilt OP why would he let his son be around her?? and yes kim is NOT fit to raise a child because she is one herself. Op is 100% not in the wrong this whole situation is so messed up
Damn i really disliked the husband, the SIL at least has to have some mental issues, but the husband is just a crazy jerk and his attitude of not talking to his own son because he thinks he's a "little girl" (misogyny) it's so f up
In France , no matter the age bullying someone is 3/5 years of prison that can go up to 20 with 48 hours in the station. This bully would be fucked bcs it’s shown on your profile when you’ll look for a job. ( sorry I don’t have an incredible vocabulary)
LOOOOOOL the nerve of that family. In the same breath they say SIL had a mental breakdown…and also say Op overreacted by calling the cops. And the mother oh god “Op it was just a prank that my pathetic excuse for a son showed up drunk at your house and threw a plant through the window, just let it go” Glad for a happy ending
Im surprised some people don't see bullying as harrassment, which is an illegal act on its own. So no matter the age, it's horrifying that folks think its normal for another child to physically or emotionally attack another child for YEARS, and chalk it up to "Oh they're just kids".
Sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on. Not excusing it, but like with siblings, we can say/do nasty things about each other to each other and we all just laugh at it, that's just our relationship. But maybe to someone else, sibling or not, this is a harrassment? Also some people don't understand that you might not like someone in your family, no matter if it's really disliking, or just having nothing in common, so forcing them to play together is a bad idea, not bonding exercise...
My parents, luckily, kept me away from my cousin even if he was quite younger than me. I could have easily fended off my cousin, but my parents believed it was better to not put me in that position to begin with. I would hate to put my child through that. It's not about "being tough". It's about being safe. Your job as a parent, especially to a young child, is to protect them. Also, if the husband was so "happy" to get rid of her, then there would be no reason to try and traumatize her and her parents.
MIL: It's just a prank bro. JAJAJAJAJAJ I laughed so hard. Yeah, I'll damage your property and I don't want the police involved because it was a prank.
The sister is a terrible mother for allowing her son to be a bully. The “boys will be boys” is one of the oldest excuses in the book for bad behavior. Ops ex husband isn’t suited to be a father if he’s willing to put his child’s well-being second to nothing and act like a psycho.
Ok yes the father said was awful. But can we talk about the MOTHER! OH MY GOSH WHAT AN AMAZING FUCKING WOMAN GOING THROUGH ALL OF THAT FOR THE SAKE OF HER CHILD! WHAT A TRUE PARENT LOOKS LIKE! ALSO THE THERAPY (WHICH IS FUCKIN AMAZING!) AND A TRIP! MY GOSH BEST MOM AWARD GOES TO HER HOLY SHIT! Her perseverance in the face of close adversity just goest to show how much of an amazing woman she is. This is what it truly looks like to be a mom. Not letting people hurt your child. Emotionally and all.
It kinda checks out that MIL thinks 2 counts of drunk driving (potentially hıttıng pedestrians) and smashing up the home (potentially harming her grandson) is a harmless prank... I mean, Kim's actions are quite relatable to this.
Husband’s logic “How dare you call CPS and police on my unstable sister because she has our son with her son who bullies her and she makes him go to bed hungry”
14:32 what a rush of endorphins, yall think you cant deal with the consequences after that stunt? I was kinda bracing myself if a smashed pot plant is enough for a case because a cctv footage is needed for validity
Sound's like they admitted to it when the police pulled up and tried to convince them that it was just a harmless prank bro. Also they where all drunk so it was even easier to get things out of them
As the adult in charge, you are supposed to make sure every minor under your care is being taken care of. That means not willfully exposing children to danger to mind and body. Your husband sending your child over to his sibling and their bully of a child, knowing full well your child does not WANT to go there, and is traumatized to the point of crying and refusing food ... Then yes. That's actually a point at where you call the police. A. Leaving (alone, not with you) your child in the care of someone who has no legal custody and thus cannot request unsupervised visitation, AGAINST the requests AND without permission of the other parent that you share custody with, is considered 'abandonment'. And since the father was unwilling to go back and get their son, it was also right to call the police to remove the child from the environment. B. Abandoning your child (look at point A.) in a place where you are physically and mentally NOT present (especially at that age), will cause CPS to show up because Police WILL inform them. C. Doing all of the above, PLUS seeing as the cousin is OP's son's bully because of whom he already changed classrooms and all that? That's grounds for removing custody, because that is willfully exposing the child to trauma and potential physical harm. D. Topped with ALL that, the sister is mentally unstable, which is known and has been stated REPEATEDLY by OP's husband and his family! Even more grounds for CPS to put on the thumb screws on OP's husband AND his sister. E. .... and they're ALL mentally unstable. OP's husband, his sister, his mom. Wtf is going on with those people.
A lot of people don’t see how bad cousin bulling is becuse it happens behind closed doors and it’s really hard for normal bully’s to have that so they’ll beat them till the bleed and no ones the wiser becuse “they’re cousins they should love each other” , my cousin bullied me so bad teachers thought I was being abused and then they found camera footage of my cousin beating the shit out of me , they didn’t think this could happen but yeah
Something is very wrong. Poor kid. He needs a psychiatrist , because that’s not normal behavior. My son is 5 months older than my brothers daughter and they are each other’s best friends.
Oh I’m so tired of these people. I think we need to make it a societal norm to openly debate rather than argue to see who is truly correct in a situation and if you’re too stupid to do that then you automatically lose
Removing yourself from an uncomfortable situation is the mature correct and BRAVE thing to do. The fact the Ex Husband had althe audacity to call his son a sissy and "girl" for being mature past his years was a disgusting red flag that the whole family was trash. Especially once they started targeting OP. Like ahh yes lets give CPS MORE ammunition against us. People that think being masculine is hitting your problems and puffing up like a gorilla are beyond even the classification of troglodites. OP is amazing as a mother and NO ONE can take that from them.
Teenagers teasing each other and adults fighting is one thing. But a seven year old being terrified of another seven year old says a lot. And the fact that Kim ended up in the psych ward nearly immediately after really shows that she is very mentally unstable. I bet that the dad knew all about it and didn’t care. Also, I can see Kim physically assau*ting Nate. I don’t care how much you love your family, YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST! Also, he wants custody to avoid child support. And throwing a potted plant through the window shows that he is an unfit parent.
I feel really bad for the kid, I've been bullied nearly all my life and its worse when everyone refuses to do anything. My mom used to know all the teachers/staff personally because of how many times she went down there to talk about the fact I'm being bullied and none of the staff are doing anything. Some of the teachers actually were scared of her, and there was one time when a teacher saw her they immediately turned around and speed walked away. But virtual school was a life saver, though it doesn't help combat my server social anxiety. Its better than having emotional breakdowns multiple times a day because of the bullies
Dunno how laws are working, but most schools don't have any system to prevent bullying. You can't make someones grades worse because of that, because it's not on the paper, and what else can they do? Scold them? Do a lesson how bullying is bad? Kids don't care about those things. In my country they can't even do anything when students are smoking, best action is calling the police, but without recording it which might be against the law, police also won't do anything. It's just... stupid system really. Of course there are people which will do something, but when worse comes, law is against them
The Mom's actions DID NOT trigger SIL's meltdown. She was only protecting her child from his bully of a cousin. The child was CLEARLY traumatized by being forced to attend this sleepover and Mom absolutely made the right call by having Grandma pick Nate up and take care of him until Mom came home. SIL is just mad because she's being held accountable for her son's bullying. She is an adult. She is responsible for her own behavior and she chose to have a meltdown and hurt herself. Dad went behind Mom's back and sent his son to SIL's house KNOWING FULL WELL that Nate was being bullied by his cousin and was scared and then SIL sent this child to bed without dinner because he was scared and wanted to go home. They should BOTH be ashamed of themselves and Mom should absolutely file for full custody of this child because CLEARLY. these two can't be trusted. I am proud of Mom for protecting her son and divorcing her psycho husband and getting full custody of Nate...especially after the "prank" Dad pulled, smashing the window. I'm glad the judge saw the truth of the matter and made the right decision for the child's sake.
sadly this op is right bad mental health affects everyone and thing around you sadly op wasn’t wrong what happens if dean would have injured him self on the shattered glass or got hit by the sister in law etc that child was in a unsafe environment and op was in the right to protect her young child
I had a multi-year relationship fall completely apart because my ex would do whatever her mother would say, no matter what. I was honorably discharged from the military, and i wanted to open my own bar, poolhall, and music venue. My ex wanted to move closer to her family. So we compromised, and I moved us and started looking for places to start my business. Once we moved, my ex informed me that she and her mother decided that I should work offshore instead. I refused and told her i had my own plans for my life, and i wanted her to be a part of it all. Of course, her mother disapproved, and that's when our relationship ended. 3 years and thousands of dollars down the toilet, im married to a much better woman now, and following my passions like I had originally planned. You live, you learn, you move on and grow. Sometimes, that's all you can do. As far as my ex goes, she is still living with her mother, and is now a single parent.
I initally thought the kid was 17 not 7 so i agreed with the dad. But honstly no, a 7 year old does need be toughened up but not by forcing them to hang out with their bully. Also the sister clearly had mental issues
That one sentence “you’re raising a daughter not a son” explained everything the ex husband was definitely the typical “I want my son to be a man not a sissy”
What the husband did is already damaging his son, I hate parents like this, they treat their kid badly and get surprised/mad when their child ends up coming out the other end not good
I think everyone except for ops kid is at fault. Calling CPS in the beginning is completely unhinged. The father allowed it even though it was wrong and he is wrong for his thoughts on his son. But wth?
I’m ngl, at the very beginning I was kinda thinking she was slightly overreacting by calling the cops (obviously bullying is terrible but calling the cops for something that at the time was not a deadly situation and just ended up being a kid not having dinner is kinda going overboard) but by the end of it HOLY COW I’m so glad she did, that’s terrifying
Wait why was the dad arrested? Like I know get that Kim didn't feed him one meal but the dad is still the son's dad and legal guardian, if he gave his permission for the son to go over i don't think he can get arrested for that.
KARMA, lol they call op unstable because she dosn´t want her son to be abused. Who is the unstable one? The mum wanting to protect her son, or the woman who thinks abuse fine.
i was in a similar situation except my cousin was 18 months older than me held back a year for bad grades which put him in my class. We had a bad relationship for about 4 years until we stole his dads air pump bb gun and took turns shooting eachother which was a good bonding experience. We havent spoke in 10 years after he went to jail but I am a good boy c:
Smashing your house to bits is not something a sane person does. Leaving a bully alone with the kid who's scared to death of him isn't something a sane person allows. Looks like crazy runs in the family. The sister proved herself unfit to raise a child, as did OP's husband. Edit: "He doesn't need to know this right now, he can just be a kid." Um. That ship has sailed. He's been through enough. When a child knows the truth, they ask a parent for confirmation, and you lie or ignore them, you're only telling them that you are not someone they can trust or confide in. You're not protecting him from anything, just pushing him away.
This is going to sound disgusting, but with how defensive OP’s ex-husband was of Dean (and Dean’s general issues) I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Dean was the ex-husband’s bio son.
I'm having a hard time that nobody is pointing out that if the SIL had a breakdown after the child was removed and hurt herself then truely OP's child was not safe because of the bully and the SIL. My child was physically assaulted by their cousin and my sister refused to take it seriously and I honestly don't mean kid stuff. I mean hit in head with a block of wood HARD, and my mum and sister didn't want me to know didn't take them to the doctor and it took years to build trust for me and the kid
While husband and sister and undoubtable giant pieces of crap, what charges did she press against the husband after the sleep over? What crime did he commit?
I think it might be this one? (don't know the country so random law from USA) "Child endangerment is treated as a proactive offense. This means it is designed to discourage improper parental conduct that can lead to harm or injury of the child. The first part of a charge for child endangerment is to prove the relationship between the defendant and child. Only if a defendant has accepted responsibility for the care, control and custody of a child can be charged with child endangerment. This can apply to anyone who has assumed the responsibility of care for a child, such as parents, grandparents, teachers, social workers, child care workers and law enforcement. Most states have mandatory reporting requirements in effect for these responsible adults. Another important component of a child endangerment charge is an act of omission. When most people consider child endangerment charges, they think of a person placing a child in a high risk situation, such as leaving the child in a very hot car. But child endangerment charges also can stem from omission, which are things that the caregiver has failed to do. For instance, if a daycare teacher knew the child had a serious medical problem that required medicine to prevent a seizure, but the defendant would not give the child the drug because she did not want to bother, this intentional failure could bring a child endangerment charge. " TLDR: intentionally leaving kid with a bully and unstable relative that might harm the child
I don’t get why dads think kids just need to man up if you don’t get along with someone you don’t get along there’s no point forcing people who don’t like one another to hang out and if your kids a bully then he doesn’t deserve company.
This mother has made a weak man. Something a father would generally teach controlled violence, it gives you the softness of a woman yet you dare to challenge a threat (doesn’t mean be stupid a guy with a gun)
While I agree with the mother's beliefs, I am curious what the father did that was illegal. Theoretically, she has no more say over where her kid can go than her husband, so if they can't agree, I don't see where one parent can take legal action against the other if they have shared custody in a marriage. I just don't see what law is broken by making your kid hang out with a bully without your spouse's knowledge. I agree with her reasoning but I'm more so curious about the legality of the situation.
It's not your fault it's your sister-in-law's fault because she didn't discipline their own child and she traumatized his own son and that's not right and she should pay for her actions and go to hell for what she has done to him.
I'm not familiar with CPS laws in OP's country, but I honestly find it strange that they would intervene during the sleepover. The sister didn't kidnap Nate, she took him with permission from the husband. It might have been a mistake, but he was legally in his right to give that permission. Considering that, why would CPS even take OP seriously? OP would have just let her parents step in. It would have been more than enough. She was right to protect her child, but, really, calling the police and CPS at that point is excessive.
Aunt was unstable, so it might've been "endangering the child", at least it seems to be a thing in USA (where most of the stories are from) Dunno how she could prove it, but that is some tripe
Uh… wait.. this one incident you press charges against dad then divorce and full custody? How much of this exactly is you being enraged at your husband and how much of this is you thinking youre doing the right thing
Calling the cops on your sister for 'taking your son' was wrong. She didn't kidnap him. She had consent from his father. Regardless of how you feel about it, your husband is equally responsible for your son and therefore can give consent for him to go to his aunts. However calling the cops to remove your child from the aunts house IS fair. You believed he wasn't safe and he wasn't. Good job.
I dunno how it works, but maybe she needed to include father, so the kid wouldn't be taken by him and put back into SIL house right away? He wasn't safe here and dad didn't care, so securing for this scenario might have been overreaction, but better safe than sorry
Love how the ex and his family kept incriminating themselves. Cause acting like a psycho is really gonna help you get custody of your child. And guess what? It didn’t and OP got full custody
@@fruxo4218do yk what op means? 😭 op literally got full custody
@@fruxo4218you really should, the comment was talking about the father of nate acting psycho when he smashed the glass in at OPs parents house. In which case yes, OP got full custody
@@fruxo4218 I don't think you know how to read or hear.
@@SwiftiferHusk well, The author of this fanfiction probably did that because some of people where pointing out point out that she indeed over reacting over to a sleep over. If the father turns into a psycho it pretty much makes any critic have to shut their mouth because they’re verifiably wrong. It’s a pretty common writing technique.
@@daveshoe4574Please use proper grammar. Please I’m begging you. Big words do not equal proper grammar.
The mom saying “it’s just a prank bro” to a potted plant going through a window is the entire reason they see no problem with the bullying.
They are a family of "geniuses".
I bet if it was OP's son bullying the cousin, the SIL would be singing a completely different tune.
There’s no need to bet anything cause that’s exactly what would’ve happened. I’ve seen/watched enough of these to know that’s what would’ve happened
@@saraashley464 you do realize this was a made up story right probably most of the things you’ve read on Reddit is made up. Look, don’t get your life advice from Reddit. It’s a bunch of ideologues writing a fake scenarios that verify their beliefs they don’t have any understanding of the real world for example, there’s no way the cops would be able to do anything about the sleepover. They had the fathers permission.
How? Like..genuinely How did u come to that conclusion?
It seems like she is very neglectful and I think she would allow the bullying to go on…
@@Indicolite_h what do you mean? What’s so confusing? You know there’s a lot of people who overlook bullying because it’s their kid and as soon as their kid gets bullied the parents will go after the other kid. Once you read/watch more of these you’ll know exactly how a lot of people think and act. It won’t be rocket science
How is the OP too sensitive when clearly the kid gets bullied by his cousin?! That's called common sense!
Men raise men, I know some cousins who raised by moms who let anyone walk over them. Thats how the son sounds, the father wants to teach his son its a dog eat dog world out there cause he knows, but mom will never understand. The Aunt however is out of line
@@prtckthomas3442 So we should allow children to be abused because... ✨MaScUlInItY✨? Bullying IS abuse.
@@prtckthomas3442 The 1930s called, they want their ideologies back!
@@prtckthomas3442. You should never have children. You aren't a parent material.
@@prtckthomas3442 Imagine defending literal child abuse.
I’m shocked at the fact that he told his wife that his sister was unstable right now and was angry that she pulled this stunt. So, if she was that unstable, why would you let your child go to that home? Knowing that his son is being bullied, he sent him off to an unstable woman who can’t keep her abusive child under control? He basically admitted that he sent his son there to toughen up. As in, to be abused.
"You will raise a girl!"
Good, the alternative was becoming a psycho like his daddy and aunt. By the sound of it the whole family is crazy
A "girl" would be better than a carbon copy of Nate's father, for sure. And the fact that he thinks raising a gentle and sensitive but healthy son is bad, and somehow compares it to "girls" as if he would have hated to have a daughter, is clearly a huge problem with his view on the sexes... and it highlights his view that boys are somehow _supposed_ to fight, which is bonkers bazonkers to say the least. 😥
The husband was definitely the unstable cousin when he was a child and never actually grew out of it
Op needs to dump her loser friends that said that she was over reacting for protecting her child! 😤
Of course the sister smashes things in a rage and loses custody of HER OWN BULLY CHILD, but it's suddenly OP's fault that she's unfit to be a mother lmfao. 💀
Bullies love to point fingers
Let's hope that under father's care bully will change to be a better person. If he stayed with his mom it would continue
Some people don’t see children as actual people worthy of respect. If two adults didn’t like each other and didn’t want to be around each other it would be no big deal. But when it’s children, all of a sudden they just need to get over it so the adults can be comfortable and not be inconvenienced.
"My son's well-being is more important than maintaining relationships" - that's when I knew she's a good mother.
I was bullied as a kid and my mother or father never protected me. I know her son's fear of going to school all too well. If I was this mother... I don't know, I'd probably seriously injure several people there. I don't think I would've hold myself like she did if I saw my kid going through the same thing I went through. Very good mother. God bless her.
Well, I can see where Dean learned his outbursts from.
I literally screamed when she said she got full custody. OP's a brave mother. Wishing her and her little boy good luck for a bright future ahed.
I have no idea how OP could ever be a Karen in this story, as some comments state...
The father willingly sent his bullied son to a sleepover at his bully's house, fully aware that he was potentially endangering the kid's physical and mental health, and without telling OP about it. And sure enough, Nate was subjected to both physical and mental ab*se while he was there.
Calling CPS on both the husband and SIL was COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED!
Also, husband's mommy trying to dismiss HURLING A POTTED PLANT THROUGH A WINDOW as a "prank" is almost hilarious. Had OP come down to talk to him, instead of a potted plant, it'd probably have been her skull.
should call cps on parents when they send their kids to school too then. they get bullied in school aswell
@@darkknight3037 School has teaching staff that are both legally allowed and expected to care for children and stop bullying from happening, and in many places it is illegal _not_ to send your kid to school. This is in no way the same situation. Bullying is not adequately stopped in schools, but that's a complaint to direct at the school system and not at the parents who have no choice but to send their kids to school.
@@darkknight3037 not the same thing
@@0palOpal0pal calling cps for that shit as stupid as my comparison
@@darkknight3037 You do understand that both parents need to consent where their child will be? Not telling her is essentially kidnapping, she didn't know if her kid wa okay, he was sent to stay with an abusive aunt, abusive cousin an his opinion on the matter was completely dismissed and ignored.
OP did the right thing, school is very different, the bullies can get detention, suspension or even expulsion if you have enough proof of the bullying. School is essentially obligatory for kids, and you can have cps called on you for not letting them attend school.
Op had every right to call CPS on them, she explicitly said she didn't want her son alone with his aunt and cousin, the son also didn't want to be near them.
It's stupid to compare school to familiar issues.
Taking a child from a safe space without parents consent is kidnapping, and worthy of cps.
The kid was literally bullied, both physically and mentally, was forced to sleep without having eaten anything, was forces out of his safe space, and you say that's not worthy of cps? I feel sorry if you have any kids and have that mentality.
Relationship is built on two parties trust and security. The husband deciding and completely undermining his wife's judgement and care clearly shows he does not trust her to make right decisions for son. I blame the husband and SIL for this entire ordeal, there is nothing wrong with OP's decisions and judgement. I would laugh in their faces if they told me i was wrong and it was my fault. SIL breaking down says more about her mental state and shows how unfit she is to be a mother.
"I'm going to fight for custody!" And decides getting drunk and harassing his wife, after celebrating getting rid of her with an obviously testosterone poisoned family, was the best thing to do.
"It's just a prank.."
Nah...ya'll just helped her in proving she needs to have full custody.
As someone who was bullied by my cousin. I fully support op. I didn't talk to my cousin for 4ish years until we were adults. Our relationship is better now.
This just shows how selfish SIL truly is. Her ex is doing just fine (at least on the surface) after their breakup and is putting his sons need before his own, meanwhile SIL is self loathing, throwing tantrums and neglecting her son over a man she wasnt even married to.
The baby daddy isn't the same guy that she just broke up with. The ex she is so upset about was with her for 3 years. But I don't think she was married to either.
"I'm going to fight for custody!" *Proceeds to do incriminating things*
You know full well if OP’s son punched Dean, Kim would have a completely different tune than boys will be boys.
She did everything right. You have to go all the way with AH like these. No half measures. Like Frank said.
How I would approach the topic: "Your Dad is going through a bad/rough time and he's not safe around us until he gets help. It's not your fault and I know you're confused so we'll be talking to someone to help us too!"
By not lying on the father to alienate him because you don't have control over everything
why people keep thinking that forcing two individual who hate each other in one room would help with their "relationship"?
Bonding, they think if haters bonding they Will eventually be friend which is a bullshit
He only wants custody of his son to punish him and put him back in the environment of his horrid sister and their family to teach him how to not be “a girl”.
This is a story of a very good mother, who thinks of her child's well being first. Good mothers defend their children from anyone including another parent.
if he KNEW kim was unstable and is using this to guilt OP why would he let his son be around her?? and yes kim is NOT fit to raise a child because she is one herself. Op is 100% not in the wrong this whole situation is so messed up
Damn i really disliked the husband, the SIL at least has to have some mental issues, but the husband is just a crazy jerk and his attitude of not talking to his own son because he thinks he's a "little girl" (misogyny) it's so f up
In France , no matter the age bullying someone is 3/5 years of prison that can go up to 20 with 48 hours in the station. This bully would be fucked bcs it’s shown on your profile when you’ll look for a job.
( sorry I don’t have an incredible vocabulary)
Of course with the attitude of the mother the child would be a bully too, she was an unfit parent
LOOOOOOL the nerve of that family.
In the same breath they say SIL had a mental breakdown…and also say Op overreacted by calling the cops.
And the mother oh god “Op it was just a prank that my pathetic excuse for a son showed up drunk at your house and threw a plant through the window, just let it go”
Glad for a happy ending
7:00
Hubby: "you calling the cops was an overreaction, it was fiiiine"
Also Hubby: "you KNEW that Kim was unstable"
Always protect you kids, even from your own family.
I'm very glad that both kids got away from that toxic, psycho family. I hope Dean's father sets him straight.
Im surprised some people don't see bullying as harrassment, which is an illegal act on its own. So no matter the age, it's horrifying that folks think its normal for another child to physically or emotionally attack another child for YEARS, and chalk it up to "Oh they're just kids".
Sometimes it's hard to tell what's going on. Not excusing it, but like with siblings, we can say/do nasty things about each other to each other and we all just laugh at it, that's just our relationship. But maybe to someone else, sibling or not, this is a harrassment?
Also some people don't understand that you might not like someone in your family, no matter if it's really disliking, or just having nothing in common, so forcing them to play together is a bad idea, not bonding exercise...
My parents, luckily, kept me away from my cousin even if he was quite younger than me. I could have easily fended off my cousin, but my parents believed it was better to not put me in that position to begin with. I would hate to put my child through that. It's not about "being tough". It's about being safe. Your job as a parent, especially to a young child, is to protect them.
Also, if the husband was so "happy" to get rid of her, then there would be no reason to try and traumatize her and her parents.
Why does the husband have any fuck say he's not making things anything fucking good
When I heard the lines she’s in a hospital and lost her kid, I would’ve went “skill issue” laughed and hung up
MIL: It's just a prank bro.
JAJAJAJAJAJ I laughed so hard. Yeah, I'll damage your property and I don't want the police involved because it was a prank.
You did wonderful op protect your baby😊 your husband, sil and sils' kid are deranged.
If Kim's unstable why would you willingly hand over your 7 yr old to her care? He is off his rocker...good luck with your custody hearing.
NTA: Op was right to call CPS on SIL and press charges on SIL and husband. I’m happy that you got full custody of your son.
The sister is a terrible mother for allowing her son to be a bully. The “boys will be boys” is one of the oldest excuses in the book for bad behavior. Ops ex husband isn’t suited to be a father if he’s willing to put his child’s well-being second to nothing and act like a psycho.
OP did not deserve that awful treatment from the husband glad she got a divorce
I agree. That’s an unhinged father.
i don’t get why the husband is excusing putting his sister first over his own son because “family”. like isn’t YOUR SON YOUR FAMILY TOO?!?
"Kids are just brats that doesn't know what's best for them"
from what he did and they way he spoke about his son calling him girl and tryna talk down about him, any judge that gives him custody is crazy
Ok yes the father said was awful. But can we talk about the MOTHER! OH MY GOSH WHAT AN AMAZING FUCKING WOMAN GOING THROUGH ALL OF THAT FOR THE SAKE OF HER CHILD! WHAT A TRUE PARENT LOOKS LIKE! ALSO THE THERAPY (WHICH IS FUCKIN AMAZING!) AND A TRIP! MY GOSH BEST MOM AWARD GOES TO HER HOLY SHIT! Her perseverance in the face of close adversity just goest to show how much of an amazing woman she is. This is what it truly looks like to be a mom. Not letting people hurt your child. Emotionally and all.
It kinda checks out that MIL thinks 2 counts of drunk driving (potentially hıttıng pedestrians) and smashing up the home (potentially harming her grandson) is a harmless prank... I mean, Kim's actions are quite relatable to this.
Husband’s logic “How dare you call CPS and police on my unstable sister because she has our son with her son who bullies her and she makes him go to bed hungry”
OP didn’t cause bad things she just pulled back the curtain.
Thank goodness poor Nate's mother has some damn sense. Hope Nate's ok
14:32 what a rush of endorphins, yall think you cant deal with the consequences after that stunt?
I was kinda bracing myself if a smashed pot plant is enough for a case because a cctv footage is needed for validity
Sound's like they admitted to it when the police pulled up and tried to convince them that it was just a harmless prank bro. Also they where all drunk so it was even easier to get things out of them
@@lyraflow9154if they were all drunk how did they drive there and why weren’t they hit with a DUI on the spot?
As the adult in charge, you are supposed to make sure every minor under your care is being taken care of. That means not willfully exposing children to danger to mind and body.
Your husband sending your child over to his sibling and their bully of a child, knowing full well your child does not WANT to go there, and is traumatized to the point of crying and refusing food ...
Then yes. That's actually a point at where you call the police.
A. Leaving (alone, not with you) your child in the care of someone who has no legal custody and thus cannot request unsupervised visitation, AGAINST the requests AND without permission of the other parent that you share custody with, is considered 'abandonment'. And since the father was unwilling to go back and get their son, it was also right to call the police to remove the child from the environment.
B. Abandoning your child (look at point A.) in a place where you are physically and mentally NOT present (especially at that age), will cause CPS to show up because Police WILL inform them.
C. Doing all of the above, PLUS seeing as the cousin is OP's son's bully because of whom he already changed classrooms and all that? That's grounds for removing custody, because that is willfully exposing the child to trauma and potential physical harm.
D. Topped with ALL that, the sister is mentally unstable, which is known and has been stated REPEATEDLY by OP's husband and his family! Even more grounds for CPS to put on the thumb screws on OP's husband AND his sister.
E. .... and they're ALL mentally unstable. OP's husband, his sister, his mom. Wtf is going on with those people.
Yeah, that whole half of the family is messed up.
A lot of people don’t see how bad cousin bulling is becuse it happens behind closed doors and it’s really hard for normal bully’s to have that so they’ll beat them till the bleed and no ones the wiser becuse “they’re cousins they should love each other” , my cousin bullied me so bad teachers thought I was being abused and then they found camera footage of my cousin beating the shit out of me , they didn’t think this could happen but yeah
Something is very wrong. Poor kid. He needs a psychiatrist , because that’s not normal behavior. My son is 5 months older than my brothers daughter and they are each other’s best friends.
Something tells me ex husband only married OP for the child (son) she would've given him. And now that he had said son, he could show his true colors.
That family is so unhinged
Oh I’m so tired of these people. I think we need to make it a societal norm to openly debate rather than argue to see who is truly correct in a situation and if you’re too stupid to do that then you automatically lose
Removing yourself from an uncomfortable situation is the mature correct and BRAVE thing to do. The fact the Ex Husband had althe audacity to call his son a sissy and "girl" for being mature past his years was a disgusting red flag that the whole family was trash. Especially once they started targeting OP. Like ahh yes lets give CPS MORE ammunition against us. People that think being masculine is hitting your problems and puffing up like a gorilla are beyond even the classification of troglodites. OP is amazing as a mother and NO ONE can take that from them.
Teenagers teasing each other and adults fighting is one thing. But a seven year old being terrified of another seven year old says a lot. And the fact that Kim ended up in the psych ward nearly immediately after really shows that she is very mentally unstable. I bet that the dad knew all about it and didn’t care. Also, I can see Kim physically assau*ting Nate. I don’t care how much you love your family, YOUR CHILDREN COME FIRST!
Also, he wants custody to avoid child support. And throwing a potted plant through the window shows that he is an unfit parent.
it's sad that we live in a world where you're an "asshole" for protecting your own child...
OP is the best mom
Been here all you want but keep protecting your kid that's all that matters
I feel really bad for the kid, I've been bullied nearly all my life and its worse when everyone refuses to do anything. My mom used to know all the teachers/staff personally because of how many times she went down there to talk about the fact I'm being bullied and none of the staff are doing anything.
Some of the teachers actually were scared of her, and there was one time when a teacher saw her they immediately turned around and speed walked away. But virtual school was a life saver, though it doesn't help combat my server social anxiety. Its better than having emotional breakdowns multiple times a day because of the bullies
Dunno how laws are working, but most schools don't have any system to prevent bullying. You can't make someones grades worse because of that, because it's not on the paper, and what else can they do? Scold them? Do a lesson how bullying is bad? Kids don't care about those things. In my country they can't even do anything when students are smoking, best action is calling the police, but without recording it which might be against the law, police also won't do anything. It's just... stupid system really. Of course there are people which will do something, but when worse comes, law is against them
The Mom's actions DID NOT trigger SIL's meltdown. She was only protecting her child from his bully of a cousin. The child was CLEARLY traumatized by being forced to attend this sleepover and Mom absolutely made the right call by having Grandma pick Nate up and take care of him until Mom came home. SIL is just mad because she's being held accountable for her son's bullying. She is an adult. She is responsible for her own behavior and she chose to have a meltdown and hurt herself. Dad went behind Mom's back and sent his son to SIL's house KNOWING FULL WELL that Nate was being bullied by his cousin and was scared and then SIL sent this child to bed without dinner because he was scared and wanted to go home. They should BOTH be ashamed of themselves and Mom should absolutely file for full custody of this child because CLEARLY. these two can't be trusted. I am proud of Mom for protecting her son and divorcing her psycho husband and getting full custody of Nate...especially after the "prank" Dad pulled, smashing the window. I'm glad the judge saw the truth of the matter and made the right decision for the child's sake.
If his sister is so unstable (which he admits) why the FUCK would OP’s husband want his son around her?!
sadly this op is right bad mental health affects everyone and thing around you sadly op wasn’t wrong what happens if dean would have injured him self on the shattered glass or got hit by the sister in law etc that child was in a unsafe environment and op was in the right to protect her young child
Sometimes, no one sucks and sometimes everyone does.
I had a multi-year relationship fall completely apart because my ex would do whatever her mother would say, no matter what. I was honorably discharged from the military, and i wanted to open my own bar, poolhall, and music venue. My ex wanted to move closer to her family. So we compromised, and I moved us and started looking for places to start my business. Once we moved, my ex informed me that she and her mother decided that I should work offshore instead. I refused and told her i had my own plans for my life, and i wanted her to be a part of it all. Of course, her mother disapproved, and that's when our relationship ended. 3 years and thousands of dollars down the toilet, im married to a much better woman now, and following my passions like I had originally planned. You live, you learn, you move on and grow. Sometimes, that's all you can do. As far as my ex goes, she is still living with her mother, and is now a single parent.
I initally thought the kid was 17 not 7 so i agreed with the dad. But honstly no, a 7 year old does need be toughened up but not by forcing them to hang out with their bully. Also the sister clearly had mental issues
From personal experience, a good grandpa is a great father figure to have. Much better than the father Nate got.
Bullying is never ok, no matter what the situation is
That one sentence “you’re raising a daughter not a son” explained everything the ex husband was definitely the typical “I want my son to be a man not a sissy”
Its funny how apparently good moms always seem to have kids with psychos that dont love them
What the husband did is already damaging his son, I hate parents like this, they treat their kid badly and get surprised/mad when their child ends up coming out the other end not good
I think everyone except for ops kid is at fault. Calling CPS in the beginning is completely unhinged. The father allowed it even though it was wrong and he is wrong for his thoughts on his son. But wth?
I CANT BELIEVE OPS HUSBAND
he says its fine for there son to be there
and then he says my sister is unstaple right now
I’m ngl, at the very beginning I was kinda thinking she was slightly overreacting by calling the cops (obviously bullying is terrible but calling the cops for something that at the time was not a deadly situation and just ended up being a kid not having dinner is kinda going overboard) but by the end of it HOLY COW I’m so glad she did, that’s terrifying
That entire side of that family is trash and the mom did well to get away from that.
Wait why was the dad arrested? Like I know get that Kim didn't feed him one meal but the dad is still the son's dad and legal guardian, if he gave his permission for the son to go over i don't think he can get arrested for that.
Both parents have to agree, in most places
KARMA, lol they call op unstable because she dosn´t want her son to be abused. Who is the unstable one? The mum wanting to protect her son, or the woman who thinks abuse fine.
i was in a similar situation except my cousin was 18 months older than me held back a year for bad grades which put him in my class. We had a bad relationship for about 4 years until we stole his dads air pump bb gun and took turns shooting eachother which was a good bonding experience. We havent spoke in 10 years after he went to jail but I am a good boy c:
Smashing your house to bits is not something a sane person does. Leaving a bully alone with the kid who's scared to death of him isn't something a sane person allows. Looks like crazy runs in the family. The sister proved herself unfit to raise a child, as did OP's husband.
Edit: "He doesn't need to know this right now, he can just be a kid." Um. That ship has sailed. He's been through enough. When a child knows the truth, they ask a parent for confirmation, and you lie or ignore them, you're only telling them that you are not someone they can trust or confide in. You're not protecting him from anything, just pushing him away.
This is going to sound disgusting, but with how defensive OP’s ex-husband was of Dean (and Dean’s general issues) I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Dean was the ex-husband’s bio son.
She smashed a table yep she isnt fit to be a mother
I'm having a hard time that nobody is pointing out that if the SIL had a breakdown after the child was removed and hurt herself then truely OP's child was not safe because of the bully and the SIL.
My child was physically assaulted by their cousin and my sister refused to take it seriously and I honestly don't mean kid stuff. I mean hit in head with a block of wood HARD, and my mum and sister didn't want me to know didn't take them to the doctor and it took years to build trust for me and the kid
While husband and sister and undoubtable giant pieces of crap, what charges did she press against the husband after the sleep over? What crime did he commit?
I think it might be this one? (don't know the country so random law from USA)
"Child endangerment is treated as a proactive offense. This means it is designed to discourage improper parental conduct that can lead to harm or injury of the child. The first part of a charge for child endangerment is to prove the relationship between the defendant and child. Only if a defendant has accepted responsibility for the care, control and custody of a child can be charged with child endangerment. This can apply to anyone who has assumed the responsibility of care for a child, such as parents, grandparents, teachers, social workers, child care workers and law enforcement. Most states have mandatory reporting requirements in effect for these responsible adults.
Another important component of a child endangerment charge is an act of omission. When most people consider child endangerment charges, they think of a person placing a child in a high risk situation, such as leaving the child in a very hot car. But child endangerment charges also can stem from omission, which are things that the caregiver has failed to do. For instance, if a daycare teacher knew the child had a serious medical problem that required medicine to prevent a seizure, but the defendant would not give the child the drug because she did not want to bother, this intentional failure could bring a child endangerment charge. "
TLDR: intentionally leaving kid with a bully and unstable relative that might harm the child
Of course NTA
I don’t get why dads think kids just need to man up if you don’t get along with someone you don’t get along there’s no point forcing people who don’t like one another to hang out and if your kids a bully then he doesn’t deserve company.
OP is nuts. future single cat lady.
how?
This mother has made a weak man. Something a father would generally teach controlled violence, it gives you the softness of a woman yet you dare to challenge a threat (doesn’t mean be stupid a guy with a gun)
While I agree with the mother's beliefs, I am curious what the father did that was illegal. Theoretically, she has no more say over where her kid can go than her husband, so if they can't agree, I don't see where one parent can take legal action against the other if they have shared custody in a marriage. I just don't see what law is broken by making your kid hang out with a bully without your spouse's knowledge. I agree with her reasoning but I'm more so curious about the legality of the situation.
I've had a similar experience but calling cps is a bit unhinged
Nate was in danger
It's not your fault it's your sister-in-law's fault because she didn't discipline their own child and she traumatized his own son and that's not right and she should pay for her actions and go to hell for what she has done to him.
I'm not familiar with CPS laws in OP's country, but I honestly find it strange that they would intervene during the sleepover. The sister didn't kidnap Nate, she took him with permission from the husband. It might have been a mistake, but he was legally in his right to give that permission. Considering that, why would CPS even take OP seriously?
OP would have just let her parents step in. It would have been more than enough. She was right to protect her child, but, really, calling the police and CPS at that point is excessive.
Aunt was unstable, so it might've been "endangering the child", at least it seems to be a thing in USA (where most of the stories are from)
Dunno how she could prove it, but that is some tripe
Child protective services, and both parents have to agree and he let a very unstable woman take his son who was being harmed by said family
Couldn’t find this story on reddit, does anyone know the real title?
Uh… wait.. this one incident you press charges against dad then divorce and full custody?
How much of this exactly is you being enraged at your husband and how much of this is you thinking youre doing the right thing
Calling the cops on your sister for 'taking your son' was wrong. She didn't kidnap him. She had consent from his father. Regardless of how you feel about it, your husband is equally responsible for your son and therefore can give consent for him to go to his aunts. However calling the cops to remove your child from the aunts house IS fair. You believed he wasn't safe and he wasn't. Good job.
I dunno how it works, but maybe she needed to include father, so the kid wouldn't be taken by him and put back into SIL house right away? He wasn't safe here and dad didn't care, so securing for this scenario might have been overreaction, but better safe than sorry
You need consent of both parents
@missytanner3501 no you don't.
@@ann-mariemeurs952
Yes you do!