*That part at the end, about how it felt to buy the dress and try it on, made me understand something that never even clicked in my brain.* Actually made my eyes water-up just a little. iThink we need more people expressing how these simple day to day parts of living, become emotionally charged events that can be soul-crushing, when these laws and attacks are made on LGBTQ+ people. Good on ya, mate. Well done!
I've probably seen like 200 of your videos and this is the best one by far. That's one of the stupidest laws I've ever heard of. Who cares what clothes you wear. It's the character inside that matters
Damn right!! I'm a 60 year old straight guy, tug boat Capt. I spent my life providing for my family, working like a dog, chewing nails and spitting out salt water. Never understood bigotry or the weak men who demonstrate it. Let people be people and be respectful, just because you don't understand it matters not a bit.
Judging by your comment I'm sure you're a morally admirable person who cares for others. But with all due respect, you are incredibly naive if you think this is about people who just want to live their lives in peace. That couldn't possibly be further from the truth.
@@uthmanibn-jafar1159 You are naive if you think people cannot demonize others to serve their agenda. Trans people and drag artists are not the ones harming kids, so the next question is who/what is this scapegoating serving? Are you mature enough to look for the answer to that question?
@@uthmanibn-jafar1159 It is the true. People just tryin exist lol What you like the fools that assert they want MORE RIGHTs than the average citizen? Equal rights isn’t enough. That want to be better and lmao it’s so stupid I can’t 😂
@@uthmanibn-jafar1159People have stopped trans rights bills with so many maybe’s, what if’s, and problably’s, but I’ve yet to hear a shred of legitimate evidence of trans people being uniquely harmful. It’s just a bunch of people assuming the worst about a group of people who they never truly tried to understand.
Reminds me (on a very different scale) of that time a gender fluid kid at my school got suspended for wearing "the other gender's uniform" when they tried wearing a skirt at school. For the entire next week, guys in every school in our town wore skirts to show support and prove how silly this suspension was. Even the national news got involved and our school had to let everyone wear whatever uniform was most comfortable for them regardless of gender as well as drop the suspension for the gender fluid kid. Wanna know the fun part? This was never in the rules to begin with since most of the uniform was gender neutral and afab students were always free to wear ANY part of the uniform they wanted. The reason I'm sharing this is that it's important to call bigotry bullshit out. We might not know what it will change, if anything, but it's not an excuse to not try. Props to you for being part of those people who do something.
Hearing young people take a stand like this is what gives me hope. Actually, Gen Z is the only reason that I feel hope these days. They shouldn’t have to save us all but they just might do it anyway
so if someone who “seemed like they should wear a skirt” wore pants the same thing would happen? that’s stupid sorry that happened to people close to you
@@alexwyatt2911 I will survive another 25-30 years (if I am lucky). Thing will not have gone completely to hell by then I think (apart from things like wars and the law mentioned in this video). so gen Z will not have to save me (but they will support my retirement, just as I support the retirement of my parents): What I want (but will likely not see), is gen Z saving themselves into the future that I will never see.
As a drag queen, thank you so much for being an ally. It takes a lot of balls to step out onto a stage in a dress and it takes even more to make a statement with it.
As a trans person who’s *still* too scared and uncomfortable to go into my preferred gender’s bathrooms/changing rooms, thank you so much for doing this, things are definitely getting even scarier nowadays and it can be hard to fight back in public when you’re already tired from the last time you had to justify your existence.
I know that depending on where you live you can expect very different reactions from others, but I just wanted to say that as a cis woman I have never taken notice of who is in the other dressing areas or even the shared hallway between them. We're all there for one thing. I hope a day comes when you don't have to think about such things.
@@TheHestya thank you for the reassurance ♥️ I’ll never get why TERFs are convinced trans people make cis women feel less safe cuz in my experience a lot of y’all are not only fine with it but make an active effort to be inclusionary. At least online and in my local area. Sadly I’m trans masculine, so while I know the women tend to not care I also know the men in my area tend to be less accepting and even outside of bathrooms guys in the places I frequent have been less than accepting at times.
@@chickenelafsworld7105 I can see how masculine spaces can be more intimidating and unsafe. I would welcome you in women's spaces too. By that I mean I would rather you be safe and come into our spaces if needed than deal with someone who is making you feel unsafe. Although I understand that would come with other kinds of discomfort. All public bathrooms should just be accessible bathrooms. All changing rooms could just be rooms with doors and locks. Problems solved just like that and no one can make a big deal out of who goes where. The younger generations are making me hopeful though. There's a lot less tolerance for the intolerant.
As a trans person who is now pretty comfortable in most places, the little epilogue about actually buying the dress had me in tears, because there were times when I doubted my strength to just live doing everyday things. Hopefully the anti-trans narrative starts to turn around again soon, ‘cos there are days even now.
Interesting how as soon as you wore a dress people felt like they had the right to ask you what you were wearing under it - no one would have dreamed of asking if you had been wearing pants.
Yeah this caught me too. Obviously it was all for a joke, but the joke was like... what would someone say about a woman, oh that they're sluts and ask about their underwear 😅 I think it says something that that's where people's minds go when trying to comment on someone wearing a dress
To be fair, it _is_ a comedy routine. Not to dismiss that point entirely, but the context does play a major role here. Just thought I'd mention it, before someone else does in significantly less good faith.
@@bananacat4339 If we're being pedantic, I think it does. While there is some weight to the point of "no one would be okay to ask what's going on beneath a man's clothes until he's wearing women's clothing", the fact that this was happening during a comedy show does limit how far the point can go. For instance, if it happened out in public, I doubt *other* people would have laughed. Still, it's worth pointing out to challenge people's perceptions.
This is what is called 'good trouble' and we need a LOT more of it NOW. Thanks for standing for a community facing OUTRIGHT discrimination. The bit at the end made me shed a tear. Nice work. Thanks.
That part at the end… I’ve never heard someone who isn’t trans describe that feeling so eloquently and perfectly before. I’m glad we have people like you on our side :’D
The part at the end doesn't make sense. Men and women's changeroom are not open, so people can see you naked as you change. Doors are closed, and there are mirrors inside so you can see how you look. I don't see how he would feel uncomfortable. Changerooms are not built like urinal stalls where the walls only go up part way.
@@dh5549 If someone sees you carrying a dress from the ladies department to the mens? Or sees you, a man, changing in the ladies'? Or asks you, "Are you looking for a gift for your wife or girlfriend?" You can't imagine how someone might feel uncomfortable? Just do it yourself, and see. Just imagine doing it, if you can't bring yourself to try doing so. Feel those butterflies of anxiety already? Now, imagine that is your every day experience.
@@dh5549 Many stores have men's departments and women's departments, with their own changing rooms. It's EXTREMELY uncomfortable to stand out, especially during a time where an entire political party is trying to make it seem like trans people are inherently dangerous. It's also a terrifying time to start transitioning, which is the situation I'm in. I'm just grateful my state is passing protections for trans people. But the truth is you're partly right... There are full doors and locks on changing rooms, so it SHOULD be nobody's business what clothes other people want to try on. We just need to get past the moral panic.
@@millenial90 yes thisssss And even when the changing rooms aren’t gendered, it could still feel uncomfortable cause you’re like “if people see me going into a changing room with these clothes, they’re gonna think I’m weird” 😭
@@dh5549 You have no idea how narrow peoples mind is. I went to buy T-shirts for gym and I like the "men" type. The sales lady just couldn't process; "But it's for men!!!!" came out of her mouth like 5-6 times. People like that would totally feel free to preach to you in the middle of the store even if they don't know you. Also not all stores put mirrors on the inside. I ended up going back to the closet, cause it was just too much to handle daily as an out trans person.
As a trans guy, I appreciate the absolute hell out of this man. That last little bit at the end did get me teary eyed, because holy shit is it rare to get a cisgendered individual to understand just how difficult it really is for us. We are constantly terrified because of the closed mindedness of the people around us, and even more terrified of the potential violence we might face. Even here in a liberal state I've experienced aggressive transphobia that put me in fear of my life, and the worst part was I had to keep seeing the offender at work. My employer did nothing to help me, only the bear minimum to basically be kept safe from any sort of lawsuits or legal action. We just want to exist, we just wanna know that we'll be okay, which is why transitioning is one of the scariest things I think I might ever have to do. It takes years, and for a lot of people several surgical procedures, to stop being seen as our assigned gender, not to mention my amazing non binary siblings out there who have to fight this bigotry far more than some. This life is cruel, but your fellow neighbor is crueler.
I think I have some understanding of how you feel. Recently, I was exchanging comments on social media with an individual who was very anti-drag, anti-trans, anti-gay etc. His comments progressed from, “ I just don’t believe in men wearing dresses” point of view to full on hate speech in calling transgender people abominations and demons. (Guess I pressed a button, when I reminded him that Jesus wore a dress.) This guy began to threaten violence, and I became alarmed. I used to bartend, so I’ve dealt with some unreasonable assholes in my time, but this exchange had turned into something frighteningly different. I am not a person that is easily rattled, but I admit that guy’s hateful comments invoked a deeply disturbing sense of being in imminent danger. I felt physically nauseous and anxious at the thought of what if this lunatic somehow tracked me down, or worse, what if I inadvertently provoked this nut job and he hurts someone. I can only imagine how much more those feelings would be amplified if that exchange had occurred in person. I shudder to think about what could happen if my daughter, who identifies as a nonbinary trans person, ever crossed paths with such a hateful person. I flagged his comments. I reported the account for hate speech. I work for a small printing company. We specialize in banners and billboards. I outright refuse to print any message that promotes hate. I draw the line at false political propaganda as well. I’m glad the company I work for supports those views. I wouldn’t work there, if they didn’t. I don’t vote for politicians who condone or ignore hate speech and violence. It’s the very least I can do to support human rights. No matter how you identify, you have the right to exist in peace with dignity and respect. I just wanted you to know that support for transgender people from cisgender folks may not be as rare as you think. I suspect some support for the transgender community may just be out of sight, perhaps even hiding in a few closets. I’ll do my best to open some doors. I wish you well.
@@michellereed3272 thank you for the support! And yeah, sometimes ally support can be hard to find for one reason or another, and especially since the wrong oftentimes scream louder than everyone, it begins to feel like an absolute wind tunnel of hatred. I appreciate what you do do for the community and for human rights as a whole, and I'm sure a ton of others would agree with me. We need more people like you in my opinion, not just because there's a lot of people who think I should be dead, but simply because the world would be a better place. I hope you're well as well, you deserve so many smiles throughout your life 😁
@ Michelle Reed unfortunately, it’s not a matter of “if” - rather it’s a matter of “when.” Best to prepare for real-life encounters like the one you had online. I hope everyone stays safe 🙏
"It takes years, and for a lot of people several surgical procedures, to stop being seen as our assigned gender" - What you say here, sadly, doesn't even apply to all trans women that do get a bunch of surgeries. For many of us who transitioned later in life (I was almost 60), it's hopeless to dream that we might ever be "passable" as women. I'm 6'-1" and 300 pounds - I've always been big, and bulky, and in group photos where I'm surrounded by AFAB women, I stand out a full head taller and way "bulkier" than any other woman in that photo. My face doesn't look overtly masculine, thank God, but I'm so huge that there's just no way that I'll ever be passable. I'm so sorry that you've been harassed at work and that your employer isn't helping you. This is inexcusable, but all too frequent.
When you started talking about your experience buying the dress. When you went to try it on, and you had to pause. "Men and women's, which one do I use? I don't want to make other people uncomfortable." And that moment of true empathy and realization. As a trans person, I cannot tell you how much it means to me to hear that. Thank you for doing this, thank you for supporting us.
Thanks. I think it's really important to pull back the conversation to the actual experiences that people struggle with. I think there are lots of compassionate people out there (including me) who just get caught up in feelings about being told what we should think or feel and lose sight of the actual experiences that people face in daily life. If we could focus a bit more on the actual experiences of individuals and less on which tribe we are in I think we could make progress.
As a cis guy, I had the same realization when he had it. It never even occurred to me that y'all are trying to keep everyone else from feeling uncomfortable just as much as yourselves. I work with several trans individuals that I absolutely adore and I always worry if there is something I am inadvertently doing to make them uncomfortable. They are nearly half my age, just kids really, and they have such a battle ahead of them. They are incredibly brave to be being themselves in rural Oregon (read:the south of the west coast)
As a straight man who's done drag since first grade that question really hit a spot emotionally and psychologically. This is what I love about Steve, he's so unapologetically supportive of others.
@@davidgriffin9247 If you are ever wondering if you are inadvertantly doing something to make trans individuals uncomfortable, just *ask* them in a respectful way. They will be happy to answer you, and then you won't have to wonder and worry anymore.
I am apparently "The Devil" (white, hetero, lower-middle class, atheist, college graduate, former military service) and I applaud anyone who stands up to idiocy and evil. And I, at least morally, support anyone who wants to live their life their way as long as it does not intentionally harm others to do so. (And moral outrage doesn't count as harm!) - I only hate individuals for the things they do and say, and not the identity they have, or any of their born properties (race, gender, hair color, nationality, etc.)
I never expected it was possible for someone who is not trans to describe an experience they went through that usually only trans people have to go through. Honestly that story at the end was just so nice to listen to. Thank you for being such a great ally to our community, Steve.
as a straight white man who thought he was open enough to understand everyone's POV, this hit hard. I thought that I knew that it was OK to be something non-specific. But you made me take a step back and empathize with anyone who could be non-specific... thank you
as someone who is nonbinary, this gives me a bit of hope. thanks for being open to extending some empathy our way, not everyone even thinks to try that.
Hearing how you felt going to a dressing room made me tear up, I experienced that for so many years. I had to be escorted into restrooms because I was so terrified. It was hard to find restrooms that I could feel safe in, and the ONE single-toilet restroom I found in Houston, Texas when I was visiting relatives barred me from using it. It was literally one toilet and sink in there, locks from the inside, but apparently it'd be a problem. I order my clothes online and hope for the best. Thank you so much for doing this! I have so many ally friends, LGBTQ+ friends, and friends in the drag community. This means so much ❤
I'm literally crying right now. As a life-long 32 yr old queer Tennessean, this gesture of solidarity means so much more than I can ever express in words. Thank you. I only hope this starts a trend that others follow to help prove how absolutely ridiculous these abusive laws actually are. May the universe bless you with love and praise. ❤😊
There's been so much horrible news for LGBTQ+, and especially trans, people lately. Thank you for brightening my day during this very scary time. It really means a lot to know that people like you exist.
Also, just wanna add: it's really lovely to see comedy that comes from a place of genuine curiosity and compassion and exercises in empathy and reflection.
So much respect. I am an old cis-mom with 3 adult cis sons, and... I have done my best to teach them a lifetime path of inclusivity. To make everyone feel welcomed, loved, and comfortable with being who they are.
@@Long-legged On the off chance you don't actually know what it means, cis is a Latin prefix meaning "on the same side." Cis is used as a short hand to mean "not trans." Usually it's just a helpful word when talking about gender stuff.
@@ThePurpleCheeseMan gender stuff. I think I have 9 words. It has worked for me for decades. Nobody has ever been mistaken. Boy, girl Man, woman Guy, gal He, she Confused(boy or girl)
@@Long-legged Okay, just confirming. You can choose to dumb down your vocabulary if you wish, but Latin and gender non-conformity has existed for much longer than you. I hope you can find more purpose in life than heckling people in RUclips comments for being different than you.
@Long-legged Well, now you have is and trans, bit as long as you apply the others properly you should not even have to use cis or trans. Just make sure you give them as people feel appropriate.
As a trans woman, it took years to gain the confidence to step into a dressing room and have the right to be there just like every other woman. I'm really fortunate, because I realize some women will die before they experience that kind of public acceptance or even self acceptance
That whole thing at the end about not feeling comfortable entering either dressing room because it makes you feel uncomfortable because you fear it’ll make someone else uncomfortable is so real. As a trans person, this insight made me feel understood. It’s amazing that a cishet man really pulled through for us and the drag community. Genuinely amazing.
That was indeed impressive. I am NB myself and it is very difficult to shop for anything in the womens' department, it is just too anxiety inducing for me so I do my shopping online. I have worn a skirt in public before as I didn't change after going to a pride festival and that was very hard, but ultimately helpful. I don't think I would do it all the time but baby steps, I guess.
Same. I’m a trans woman, and he really hit the nail on the head. I am who I am, and I’m not trans because it makes life easier or because it’s a fetish or something. Why would anyone want to go through what we go through as trans people? I’m a woman in the wrong body, and that’s all there is to it. Nothing more.
I'm trans, and I definitely feel that "I don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable" thing anytime I go into a bathroom or dressing room. I've actually been harassed in a bathroom before, and I'm sure it won't be the last time either. Honestly, thank you Steve for using your platform for more than just making people laugh, it's important as an ally to use whatever you can to show support. So thank you.
I was there when my dad legally changed her name when she transitioned and afterward at lunch was the first time she used a public restroom for women. Nobody freaked out, the earth didn't crack open, and no babies were sacrificed. It was a huge first step for her confidences on her journey.
You made me cry today ♥️. I'm a trans woman who lives in Tennessee and you told the whole world how I feel from start to finish. Thank you Steve! Thank you so much.
Noone and I mean not one single person should make you feel bad because you were born in the wrong body. If I can change even one person's mind I would gladly do it for you.
I’m a cis white male and was so moved by this, especially how he ended it with his heartfelt speech, that I got a lump in my throat. He described perfectly how inherent human bias works.
I'm mtf trans and I just wanted to say thank you for your support and walking in our proverbial shoes, even if it was just a small step it went a long way. I truly hope that all of those transphobes watch this video to just get a little bit of empathy. THAT would be a huge change.
Not only do you do stand up comedy Steve, you also stand up for for others and their rights, by speaking out and standing up against wrong and wrong doers. Respect, peace and love.
I've been to like 3 drag shows in my life and I'm still straight and male, so if you fear it's going to change you then you're probably repressing something in yourself. I had a great time and met some great people.
"No Shirt. No Shoes. No Service" - sure, perfectly fine, no problem at all, easily and willingly compliable "No Shirt. No Shoes. No Mask. No Service" - meltdown! I'm losing my freedoms!
As a queer individual first of all thank you. Second. The realization you had trying to find a fitting room brought me to tears. Everytime I put on clothes it's something I have to think about and choose. Do I stand out and make others uncomfortable or do I make everyone else comfortable at the expense of my own happiness and sanity. I'm not here to brainwash your kids. I'm not here to shove myself in your line of site. I just want to exist and make it through life without having to constantly question every movement and action I make or take out of fear of how others perceive me and more importantly how those perceptions make people feel thus resulting in how they handle my existence.
When you started on about the last bit I knew exactly where it was going and it just brought me to tears. We are not monsters or predators. Its sickening the lies these people concoct
*"I'm not here to brainwash your kids. I'm not here to shove myself in your line of site."* Lgbt people demand active support (not just acceptance) from everyone, everywhere, at all times. You literally have to say/do anything and everything that lgbt people tell you. If you dare to resist in any way whatsoever, they will do everything in their power to ruin your life. Oh.. and literally 100% of lgbt people who work in education actively and aggressively exploit their positions to brainwash children. They openly admit it almost every time they open their mouth. I had no problem with lgbt people before, but they've made it very clear that they're not going to leave people (or even their children) alone. If you aren't in support of this I would suggest trying to convince other lgbt people to back off, because at this point you aren't giving people any choice but to fight back.
@@uthmanibn-jafar1159 what exactly is your definition of active support? And what source told you that LGBT teachers are constantly mentioning being gay, or that mentioning being gay is brainwashing children? Why is it okay for straight teachers to mention their spouse every once and awhile, but not for gay teachers to do the same thing? LGBT people aren’t trying to take charge over anything or anyone. They’re not some monolith who all have completely the same goal for society. They just all want to be able to do the things straight people can do and get treated the same for it. They’re not gonna ruin your life. The only time I imagine your life could be ruined from disagreeing with a gay person is if you said something incredibly homophobic and your employer ended up seeing it. There is no attack on everyone else by LGBT people. I can’t even imagine why you would feel attacked.
It's unfortunate that in only some areas of this country that's not a concern you need to have. I am one of those people, along with others who accept you for who you are and you don't make me uncomfortable. I grew up in rural Oklahoma where the sign outside town limits said *if you're black don't let the sun go down on you here* . That sign no longer exists today and one day neither will these bigotry.
Even if you WERE here to brainwash their kids it wouldn't work. We can't change who we are just because someone tells us that's not who we are. I hope you live someplace safer than Tennessee.
You are my hero. I’m a 28 year old trans guy. Bathrooms are the worst for me. I have to feel like I pass (term for being seen as your projected gender) in order to use the men’s rooms. I’m scared that I’ll upset some old lady in the woman’s room or be called out as female by a man in the men’s room. Their are some days I’ll just hold it because it’s less stressful. Thank you for what you do and say. Just thank you.
Please feel free to use the men’s room if that makes you comfortable. The unwritten rule for men using the facilities is don’t make eye contact with other men and never stare at the area between their legs. It’s not a place for interaction. I cannot remember the last time I even glimpsed a penis in a men’s room. I would guess you would just go into a stall, do your business, wash, and leave. I would like to think that your apprehension is overblown. I may be wrong but I think it is your right to live your life your way and it is not warning anyone else.
BIG HUGS. I have a NB sibling who sometimes has to choose (more often in the past than the present) which bathroom to use when there are no gender neutral bathrooms available, and I used to go with/ tell them to use the womens. At least they aren't harassed in the womens.
Every time I think about this subject, I think what could be more terrifying than being a trans woman being forced to go into a mens room. That is a recipe for disaster. As a woman I am not worried about trans women in the women's room. The only open areas in the womens room are sinks. No sneak peeks or whatever the weirdos who are passing these laws think could happen.
As a trans woman I giga-pass (Trans slang meaning I look like a cis woman.) Nobody bats me an eye when I walk into the women's bathroom. There is no way in Hell I will ever use a mens bathroom again.
You've hit the nail on rhe head there. The sorts of men these "gender-criticals" think would be dressing like women to gain access to "female spaces", wouldn't dream of going to such ridiculous lengths. Indeed, they'd be way more likely to be punching a trans woman for being in the men's, having been being openly creepy towards women in the bar area. Those sorts of men wouldn't be seen dead presenting as "feminine".
Literally went shopping today with my family for a wedding, had this moment of looking in my mom's eyes for help and to be saved from the situation when I had to go in the fitting room. I've been transitioned for three years and instantly visualized this video in my head, hung my head in defeat of logic and went ahead and shopped proudly. It was good, super grateful for this performance, super grateful for the support and understanding. 🙏 Definitely helped me through worrying about what other people would think, or even worse possibly say to me, if they were to notice I'm trans. No "thing" happened. It was great and I felt pretty in the dresses. 🙏
@@skinnie2838 I don't care that this was a year ago, I don't care if your entire upbringing was anti-queer, anti-trans etc. I don't care that it was just one word. If your reaction to someone (even someone that you think is bad for whatever fucking reason) who bares their soul and describes their overcoming of anxiety and self-doubt and went out in public despite all of that is to say "gross", you have a fucking black, diseased, pus-filled soul and you should seek help for the cruel and sad life you lead. @gracehippey5126 you're a fucking hero. ♥ ♥ ♥
Moments like this are why I love Steve Hofstetter. His heckler shows are great, but his compassion is why he is able to dismantle those sad saps so easily.
I just want to say how much I appreciate not only the single act of you wearing a dress under these circumstances, but also your acknowledgement that you're barely scratching the surface of what it means for folks who don't fit neatly into a gender binary. I'm a cis het white man, and I have a lot of blind spots to the struggles of others, so this was a good, if sad, reminder of the struggles our trans and queer friends and family go through on a daily basis. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and time, Steve.
You precisely described what I go through every day. I don't go to the mens room because it's scary, and I don't go to the women's room because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. So if a place doesn't have a unisex bathroom I actually have to leave and go somewhere else. It's incredibly depressing for me, and I thank you for expressing the difficulties we go through daily.
I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I don't know where you are from, but I would be honored to have you pee next to me any day. And will never stop fighting to normalize respect for everyone's personal gender expression.
Fuck that noise, Katy. You deserve to pee when you need to! Women's restrooms have stalls and it's nobody's business what goes on in there. From your icon you look like a lovely young woman and any woman who would give you the side eye in the restroom has her own issues. Live your best life and know this mom of a trans daughter has got your back. ♥
Katy, I’m a 24 year old cis woman, and I live in a very conservative town in Arizona. I know the hatred and bigotry that is out there in the world, and I want you to know that I’m not uncomfortable with my transgender sisters being in the bathroom with me. You are a woman, and you deserve to be in the women’s bathroom! I sincerely hope that we as a society are able to become more accepting and less hateful sooner rather than later.
When I moved to SoCal and saw gender neutral bathrooms in so many places it made me happy. It doesn’t just help trans people but also parents with kids who are a different sex. Most fathers are uncomfortable taking their little girls into men’s restrooms and equally uncomfortable having their young daughters go into women’s restrooms unaccompanied. All parents need access to changing facilities too. Over the years I’ve seen lots of uncomfortable boys in women’s restrooms. We definitely need spaces where everyone belongs. I also want to reiterate what the earlier poster said. I have no problem with trans women using the women’s restroom. Truth is I’m not actually going to know am I? These stupid laws about trans people are just a way of saying if I find someone insufficiently masculine or feminine, I can be a jerk. Legalized harassment. Whatever your assumptions about another person, you really cannot know whether a person is trans or not just looking at them. And in a restroom we should all pretty much be attending to our own business anyway.
Does it make you more comfortable to know that middle school and kindergartens are been put in contact with bars and clubs shows? Is it really appropriate for you ? And should we add strippers and pole dancers or bdsm to educate these little ones ?
I admire your courage in taking a stand for the LGBTQ community. As a trans woman I know I'm taking a risk just existing where intolerance seems to be increasing daily. Hopefully with enough allies standing with us we may all live to see a better future. Thank you.
Here's a simple thank you for being an ally and supporting drag as well as trans people. I felt those last words you shared on stage. Love your comedy! And thank you again!
EXACTLY. And skirts should always have pleats, I daresay, as it makes them massively easier to move about in, as the fabric is then so much more flexible and better looking. My skirts and other such articles all have pockets personally, almost like a sort of phantom last wish my no longer existent cis self; that I have clothing that is comfortable yet also functional.
Here's an idea: Sew pockets.. _on the inside!_ Think about it. Thieves look for pockets when pickpocketing, and reaching into the garment looks fine at the sides.. so putting pockets in the inside means stuff like your phone and wallet can never be stolen unless someone knocks it out of your hand (very very unlikely). Also this way it doesn't affect the aesthetic of the clothing, which I feel is important. This is what I'm going to do to every skirt I buy. 😂
Thank you for being an ally in the sense of actually actively doing the right thing where and when you can, and not just claiming the title. You are appreciated and loved, dude, and I'm glad I stumbled onto your heckling response videos back in the day.
As a trans woman in the United States, where one of the main political parties is actively trying to kill me, this means so much to me that my favorite stand up comedian of all time did this. Thank you so much, steve!
@@prototype8137 "you people"? You know the only group of people who have never had to fear being assaulted, physically pr sexually, and/or killed - literally - in the US, simply for existing, are white heterosexual cis Christian males. Everyone else, at some point has been, or still is, "you people".
I literally just had to move back to my hometown in TN last month due to life circumstances, and seeing the governor sign those two pieces of legislature made my incensed, as well as making my heart sink low. Thank you for your small act of solidarity
@@not_you_i_dont_even_know_you there are several that stand with me and for me. I am always appreciative of them. Only real holdout is one of my brothers. The other brother proudly claims me as a sister.
Straight white male here. So much for an intro. I must say I really appreciated you doing this, because people like us don't really lose anything by accepting the existence of LGBTQ+ people and be somewhat emphatic about them. Especially the last part really opened my eyes.
Well… I laughed at your jokes the same way I do when you aren’t wearing a dress… You definitely make much more of a difference than you give yourself credit for! It’s such a great thing that the influence is aimed in so many good directions. You help SO MANY people! Thank you!
As a straight, cis ally, I think this was both brave and groundbreaking. Steve was relatively safe because the new anti-drag law is so vague, but we need more stand-up comedians....and comediennes....to follow Steve Hoffstetter's example and help drive positive change while continuing to heal us with the powerful medicine of laughter!!
As a person who was born intersex and who took nearly three decades to figure out what that meant for me and how it interacts with my gender identity, and who is still, nearly four decades into my life, struggling to get my body to conform to my gender identity, I very much appreciate the solidarity shown here. I also appreciate the way you ended the piece, speaking about your experience in buying the dress. I'm luckily well beyond the point where I care if I make other people uncomfortable any longer, at least as far as my body is concerned. I'm honestly not sure if I ever did care, but there was at least a time that I did try to conform to social norms and expectations. I don't do that any longer. Life's too short. It's my body, I don't expose myself. That's the most concession they get at this point.
People like you make me feel a little safer. I don’t really know how these bills and stuff will effect me as a non-binary person but I’ve been terrified for my two best friends who are only turning 20 this year. They are beautiful women who are terrified and who have been harassed. It breaks my heart every time I talk to them and they cry and they are scared and angry. One of them keeps saying she’s going to die and I really don’t know how to comfort her sometimes. I am so angry for them. I would riot for them. It’s said as a joke but I will identify as a fucking problem for the people who mess with them. You made one of her days at work. I’ve watched you for years and this makes me feel a little bit more at peace knowing that there is support. It felt like for a while there that no one was talking about what was happening and no one cared and idk if straight peoples news needed weeks to catch up or something but I’ve been slowly seeing more and more support. I hope the world can heal and evolve.
Sending love and compassion to you and your friends who are on the front lines of this battle every day. btw, *if someone comments something bigoted in this thread* just report it as harrassment and continue living your unique and beautiful life
Yo Steve, I'm 72 and have been watching you for about a year. I'm fairly disabled and probably will not get to a live show, Much as I would like. This dress skit tonight was a phenomenal display of solidarity and I deeply admire your strength of character and political stances. I am a str8 guy with no hangups, although the NEW pronoun thing catches me a bit off guard, hahahahaha KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND MAINTAIN THE GOOD FIGHT. Thank you brother :) peace
That bit at the end, about not making other people feel uncomfortable... That's me. I haven't had top surgery yet but I pass well enough. I use Men's restrooms. But when I'm at the gym, I don't wear my binder in the shower or while working out. So I have to decide which locker room to use, so I use the Women's. And I've seen women walk in, see my face, and look surprised, maybe a bit uncomfortable... but then they see my tits and carry on. But men always have to worry about how they act around women and it's usually her word when something happens. And while I'm not a woman, my rack begs to differ and I can't really hide that when changing/showering. And I don't want to make another man feel like he's unsafe if I should decide to say he touched me or whatnot.
I have nothing but support for you living the life of who you’ve probably always known you were, but I do have to disagree with the notion that the issue in your story is that you should feel sorry for men in that regard. I’m not denying your truth of that being a valid feeling that you have to put up/deal with. But I mean… All in all, by the numbers, it is much, much worse for women (cis, trans or non-binary people who are (mostly) female presenting), almost all of whom have to put up with the fear of something actually violent happening to them in a situation like that all the time. That being said, I sincerely feel for you for having bad experiences with changing rooms or restrooms on account of you not wanting to make someone uncomfortable.
I didn't think I passed until I came out of the woman's restroom and caught the woman coming in check the bathroom sign to make sure she was going into the right bathroom. That's when I stopped using public restrooms all together unless it was a unisex bathroom. And even though the lifting world is pretty inclusive. There are shitty people in every community. That's why I'm making my own gym at home.
As a cis woman with a beard (its not lumberjack, but its a pretty thick goatee), i get those looks too. Nobody has said anything to me as of yet, though i do get called sir a lot. I wouldnt worry too much about the lockerroom. They can mind their business. I do believe its a fear response though. Most women know almost our entire lives that some men can be dangerous. We never know who that some is. Once they see that you are just doing your normal thing, like getting dressed or whatever and not lurking, its just a passing thought for most. I, myself would also be wary of a man in the dressing room. But no matter what you look like, we can tell a lurker from someone who is just going about their business, rack or no rack, beard or no beard. Imo, its probably safer for you, yourself, to use the womens lockerroom. And as a cis woman with a beard, fk em is they dont like you going in the women restroom. Im waiting for the day that some bigot approaches me. That will be one bigot who will learn their lesson to mind their own business. And one less for folks like yourself to deal with. I will happily fight that fight, so you dont have to. I will take them down, one bigot at a time if i have to. 👍🌈❤
Watching this, I felt like I should be offended, but I wasn't. It was all very tactfully covered and approached, and I found some segments actually funny! I think as humans we just have part of us trained to find certain things offensive as a learned behaviour, and we shut down before actually appreciating it. I'm glad I gave this a shot!
I'm glad you did too. I'm not sure if you are a trans person (like myself) who was getting ready to feel mocked, or a mainstream cis person getting ready to be offended by a man in a dress, but I'm glad you have the self-awareness to notice and challenge your knee-jerk reactions. If more people had that kind of insight and kindness, we could be living in a very different world. What you just did is one of the most precious things that a human is capable of.
@@nebulouskatbanter9055 I'm a trans man, and I was wholeheartedly ready for jokes that didn't land or half-researched bullshit. But this was real and made sense
You may not be able to change the law right now but, if you look at the comments, you did change some peoples' minds. And that's the first step. Thank you.
Your comment at the end about feeling uncomfortable looking for clothes, that really hit me. Especially as a trans woman that shit is some of the most uncomfortable and scary shit I've ever been through. There have been many times I didn't even try things on before buying. I just grabbed them hoping they would fit. Thank you for bringing this situation to light. I really hope it makes some folks think.
It sucks so much that you have to do that kind of mental math for such basic everyday experiences. Love to you as you navigate the balance between being yourself and keeping yourself safe. Just know, nothing you need to do to avoid pissing people off impacts your dignity. Like, if you decide you gotta back down to avoid been attacked or whatever, you are still valid and you haven't let yourself down. And you have people at your back, if not always in person. Love love love to you.
@@mirandameyhem2724 p.s. as a queer person who crawled on hands and knees out of fundamentalist religion to save my own soul, I'm so proud of you for accepting and embracing your identity, no matter how far along in that journey you are. You're a badass.
It’s really empowering to hear a cis person acknowledge the discomfort of shopping for the “wrong gender”. I’m non-binary. And I feel that whenever I want to try on a feminine article (even shirts/pants that might otherwise just seem a bit more fancy/embellished than its masc counterpart). It fades with time, especially if I’m not shopping alone. But it never goes away fully.
As a genderfluid (under the trans umbrella), this is absolutely heartwarming. What a great way to make a statement 💜 This is the true definition of a peaceful protest.
Thank you so much for your support! Your kind words and message, it means the world to trans ppl like me and other LGBTQ+ individuals struggling in today's society. Especially living in these areas where we're being targeted relentlessly. Your kind heart is what we need more of in this world and we love having ppl like you on our side! Much love to you and thank you for everything! :)
@@kevinj8700 clothing designers are like politicians....... there is the image of what should be, the buying/voting for the product, the reality of no change/pockets. Lol
@Captain McBallz it's when people are corrupt or evil enough to think they are automatically entitled to what people and genitalia they want. The fact that they might get a surprise since they care more about the genitalia than the people ... That might be part of what scares them.
Part of the problem lies with politicians' constituents. Some of them don't care much about this stuff, but they know it will poll well with their bigoted voters.
My kid came out as trans last year... and while I can admit I am still unsure how I feel inside (because it is confusing for family too) I can say this.. it isnt ABOUT me. It is about them. My job is to support my kid. Period. Regardless of how they self identify... I still identify as their parent. So, thank you Steve, for showing support to people who need it. That moment of pure empathy, when you put yourself in their place, even if it only lasted a moment... it is how we all should act. As if what other people feel matters. Because it does.
It might because I haven’t slept well but I’m tearing up watching this. (While laughing too of course.) I have family in TN and have been so sick over the news around the drag ban bill. Thank you for sticking up for our community and putting yourself out there.
Started crying before the video even started. This is exactly what we need. I appreciate the solidarity so fucking much. And you made me laugh as I cried.
You have done more than you can imagine by giving a metaphorical finger to the small minded bigots and trying to walk in the shoes of another even for a few minutes you raised your awareness of some real issues and made it possible for your audience to see the world a little differently. Taking a stand against injustice is always the right thing to do.
Thank you so much for doing this. It means so much to so many people. Hopefully if enough people do things like this, the message will get across that the laws they've passed in my home state are stupid.
*That part at the end, about how it felt to buy the dress and try it on, made me understand something that never even clicked in my brain.* Actually made my eyes water-up just a little. iThink we need more people expressing how these simple day to day parts of living, become emotionally charged events that can be soul-crushing, when these laws and attacks are made on LGBTQ+ people. Good on ya, mate. Well done!
Your ending brought tears to my eyes. My trans son had a hard time figuring out how to buy adult male clothing he could try on. He was concerned he’d get grief for using the men’s dressing room where women’s dressing rooms were also available (like at Macy’s). Therefore, we went to a men’s only clothing store, we picked out some outfits, (I used to buy all my his father’s clothes bc his taste was awful and he knew that) and he tried them on. No one yelled at him to get out or refused to serve him. We live in the blue part of Oregon and, so far, the high school and college school systems have been completely supportive. Still, as with all things involving women, trans women are perceived as far more threatening despite the fact they are the ones who face threats, beatings, and murder every day. So, thank you for your ending remarks and for your support of human rights for everyone.
Thank you (!!!) for commenting on dressing rooms and not wanting to make others uncomfortable! I'm trans, and have experienced exactly what you said about feeling out of place and uncomfortable in gendered settings, while also trying to not upset others. It's so hard for trans folks at times, something that cisgender folks will never know. Thank you!!!
Hilarious 😂 My brother came out in 1983 he was a pioneer for the LBGTQ+ community. I sincerely thank you for this show of support. You have my upmost respect.
I live in Memphis and this is brilliant. I support this kind of protest and we don't have to agree! I love you man! You do you ALWAYS and HUGE respect for that!
Thank you Steve for showing support I am a trans woman and what you said is absolute truth I was harassed at a burger king and as a result now I have to go everywhere with a taser just to be safe I believe in spreading as much happiness and joy as possible and to just live my life but there are Alot of caveman around here including most police and courts that being said thank you for spelling it out for those who need it spelled out. You are amazing and I just subscribed thank you again
The terrifying thing is... they know that. Nathan Dahm outright agreed with that, and claimed that some amendments need to be stifled to "protect the children." Fucking animals.
Really ruling that club and bar show don't have their place in middle school it's against 1st amendment? Should we get strippers too to be perfectly on point with this understanding of yours of the amendment?
@@romeodeborneo Why does it matter that drag queens are reading stories to children? They're not even sexual stories. They're about acceptance or just classics like "Cinderella" and "goldilocks and the three bears"
@Romartins false equivalency is false. Drag queens are not strippers. Especially not at drag story hour. It's called free speech and freedom of expression. A performance is a form of speech. They are not sexualizing children, that'd be clergy members, family members and close friends of the family you're thinking of.
I'm a 65 year old gay man. I've never done drag. But, people like me, thank people like you for stepping up to show support when we know you don't have to.
The dressing room part at the end hit so hard. I still remember the first time a friend took me dress shopping, I was so excited. But then I realized to actually test if it fits I'd need to use the dressing room, and I became utterly paralyzed standing outside the doorway to the rooms, dress in hand, not knowing if it would be safe to ask to go in. Not even to mention the whole feeling pressured to just smile and nod when the cashier asked if I was "buying my girlfriend a gift". Suffice to say it turned a magically moment into one of fear and worry in a matter of seconds, and that is feeling that I wish was less common for myself and other trans and GNC folks in my shoes.
I am so sad anyone has to worry about that judgment. In 1993 I was shoe shopping with a friend who was early in her transition. As we were trying to find her some women's dress shoes, someone took it upon themselves to inform us that men's shoes were 'over there'. We had not asked for her help, she just made the whole process that much more awkward and challenging. *sigh* When I lived in Wyoming in 2018, I knew a nonbinary person who only felt comfortable going to a restaurant if there were gender-neutral restrooms - so rarely went out to eat. I think when planning a group event, we usually tried to pick such restaurants so they could join us, but I may be giving us more credit than we earned.
I'm a trans woman that lives in North Carolina and it's definitely difficult sometimes. I've been called a pedophile and groomer just for posting a tiktok of myself before and after starting my transition. I use the womens bathroom because I am mostly passing and the thought of using the mens bathroom in the area I live genuinely scares me (Though I'm 6' tall so I don't think most people would pick a fight with me). Just today at work my coworker was telling me that she was walking out of the bathroom and a little girl asked her to help her wash her hands so she did. If that was me I would have two options: tell the girl no and just leave without her being able to wash her hands or help her and risk being accused of grooming or pedophelia. These are the kind of situations trans people live with on a DAILY basis. No one else deals with a lot of the issues we do and I think it's hard for a lot of people to understand how taxing and dehumanizing it is. Society makes us feel like we're bad people just for existing, just because we want to be happy like everyone else has the opportunity to be.
5:36 in future you can also mention Albert Cashier. He is the oldest documented transman 8 I know. He fought in the Civil War. Many women dressed up as men to fight on both sides of the Civil War, but most women went back to being a woman after the war. He continued to be a man until he got dementia.
@stevehofstetter, your closing statement about buying a dress really hit me in the feels so hard and cried!! Because I’ve been doing it my whole life since I was a child. Always in the constant of fear. 😭😭 Thank you very much for sharing our experiences through yours! ❤❤
Good sir, never doubt that you did indeed do, "something." In fact, you did the best thing, which was _your_ thing, and you encouraged others to do their own thing as well. It may not be the kind of something that changes the world on its own, but it's a powerful start and I thank you for that! 👍
It's beautiful that you realized something that you never could have if you had not literally tried to walk in someone else's shoes❤️ when we have those moments we should share them, especially to those who only walk in their own shoes.
Just wanted to say the MOMENT I saw you were doing this, I loved the message, seeing the closing statement was powerful, would love for Tennesse's lawmakers to see this and the impact their sexism has!
If you like this, and want to see my videos before they’re made public, please consider supporting my Patreon. www.Patreon.com/SteveHofstetter
you rocked that dress..
THANK YOU!!! *This* is _exactly_ what must be done! Bravo!
NICE YOU GO STEVE
*That part at the end, about how it felt to buy the dress and try it on, made me understand something that never even clicked in my brain.*
Actually made my eyes water-up just a little. iThink we need more people expressing how these simple day to day parts of living, become emotionally charged events that can be soul-crushing, when these laws and attacks are made on LGBTQ+ people. Good on ya, mate. Well done!
I've probably seen like 200 of your videos and this is the best one by far. That's one of the stupidest laws I've ever heard of. Who cares what clothes you wear. It's the character inside that matters
Damn right!! I'm a 60 year old straight guy, tug boat Capt. I spent my life providing for my family, working like a dog, chewing nails and spitting out salt water. Never understood bigotry or the weak men who demonstrate it. Let people be people and be respectful, just because you don't understand it matters not a bit.
Judging by your comment I'm sure you're a morally admirable person who cares for others. But with all due respect, you are incredibly naive if you think this is about people who just want to live their lives in peace. That couldn't possibly be further from the truth.
@@uthmanibn-jafar1159 You are naive if you think people cannot demonize others to serve their agenda. Trans people and drag artists are not the ones harming kids, so the next question is who/what is this scapegoating serving? Are you mature enough to look for the answer to that question?
@@uthmanibn-jafar1159 of course it is. Our society evolves, it always has. It's all part of having a healthy world.
@@uthmanibn-jafar1159
It is the true.
People just tryin exist lol
What you like the fools that assert they want MORE RIGHTs than the average citizen?
Equal rights isn’t enough. That want to be better and lmao it’s so stupid I can’t 😂
@@uthmanibn-jafar1159People have stopped trans rights bills with so many maybe’s, what if’s, and problably’s, but I’ve yet to hear a shred of legitimate evidence of trans people being uniquely harmful.
It’s just a bunch of people assuming the worst about a group of people who they never truly tried to understand.
Reminds me (on a very different scale) of that time a gender fluid kid at my school got suspended for wearing "the other gender's uniform" when they tried wearing a skirt at school. For the entire next week, guys in every school in our town wore skirts to show support and prove how silly this suspension was. Even the national news got involved and our school had to let everyone wear whatever uniform was most comfortable for them regardless of gender as well as drop the suspension for the gender fluid kid. Wanna know the fun part? This was never in the rules to begin with since most of the uniform was gender neutral and afab students were always free to wear ANY part of the uniform they wanted. The reason I'm sharing this is that it's important to call bigotry bullshit out. We might not know what it will change, if anything, but it's not an excuse to not try. Props to you for being part of those people who do something.
Hearing young people take a stand like this is what gives me hope. Actually, Gen Z is the only reason that I feel hope these days. They shouldn’t have to save us all but they just might do it anyway
Acts of solidarity can means so much to someone who feels alone for being who they are.
so if someone who “seemed like they should wear a skirt” wore pants the same thing would happen? that’s stupid sorry that happened to people close to you
Don’t get me wrong this is really inspiring but it discourages me so much to know people at my school would never do anything like this.
@@alexwyatt2911 I will survive another 25-30 years (if I am lucky). Thing will not have gone completely to hell by then I think (apart from things like wars and the law mentioned in this video). so gen Z will not have to save me (but they will support my retirement, just as I support the retirement of my parents): What I want (but will likely not see), is gen Z saving themselves into the future that I will never see.
As a drag queen, thank you so much for being an ally. It takes a lot of balls to step out onto a stage in a dress and it takes even more to make a statement with it.
On my campus they banned a student drag show that was raising funds for the trevor project. We're currently holding a massive protest this week.
how'd it go?
Update?
Let us know what happened even if its been a year later.
How did it go?
i would also like to know how it went
As a trans person who’s *still* too scared and uncomfortable to go into my preferred gender’s bathrooms/changing rooms, thank you so much for doing this, things are definitely getting even scarier nowadays and it can be hard to fight back in public when you’re already tired from the last time you had to justify your existence.
I know that depending on where you live you can expect very different reactions from others, but I just wanted to say that as a cis woman I have never taken notice of who is in the other dressing areas or even the shared hallway between them. We're all there for one thing. I hope a day comes when you don't have to think about such things.
@@TheHestya thank you for the reassurance ♥️ I’ll never get why TERFs are convinced trans people make cis women feel less safe cuz in my experience a lot of y’all are not only fine with it but make an active effort to be inclusionary. At least online and in my local area.
Sadly I’m trans masculine, so while I know the women tend to not care I also know the men in my area tend to be less accepting and even outside of bathrooms guys in the places I frequent have been less than accepting at times.
@@chickenelafsworld7105 I can see how masculine spaces can be more intimidating and unsafe. I would welcome you in women's spaces too. By that I mean I would rather you be safe and come into our spaces if needed than deal with someone who is making you feel unsafe. Although I understand that would come with other kinds of discomfort. All public bathrooms should just be accessible bathrooms. All changing rooms could just be rooms with doors and locks. Problems solved just like that and no one can make a big deal out of who goes where. The younger generations are making me hopeful though. There's a lot less tolerance for the intolerant.
As a trans person who is now pretty comfortable in most places, the little epilogue about actually buying the dress had me in tears, because there were times when I doubted my strength to just live doing everyday things. Hopefully the anti-trans narrative starts to turn around again soon, ‘cos there are days even now.
Interesting how as soon as you wore a dress people felt like they had the right to ask you what you were wearing under it - no one would have dreamed of asking if you had been wearing pants.
And a woman asked it, to boot. I think she may have been making a point, but it's still a thinker.
Yeah this caught me too. Obviously it was all for a joke, but the joke was like... what would someone say about a woman, oh that they're sluts and ask about their underwear 😅 I think it says something that that's where people's minds go when trying to comment on someone wearing a dress
To be fair, it _is_ a comedy routine. Not to dismiss that point entirely, but the context does play a major role here.
Just thought I'd mention it, before someone else does in significantly less good faith.
@@GormathiusI honestly don't really get your point. I don't think this being a comedy show really changes the point in the original comment
@@bananacat4339 If we're being pedantic, I think it does. While there is some weight to the point of "no one would be okay to ask what's going on beneath a man's clothes until he's wearing women's clothing", the fact that this was happening during a comedy show does limit how far the point can go. For instance, if it happened out in public, I doubt *other* people would have laughed. Still, it's worth pointing out to challenge people's perceptions.
This is what is called 'good trouble' and we need a LOT more of it NOW. Thanks for standing for a community facing OUTRIGHT discrimination. The bit at the end made me shed a tear. Nice work. Thanks.
I was afraid it would be a performative stunt. I'm so glad I was wrong. ❤❤❤
I wish he'd brought a selection of forward thinking books to aution off also during this set in drag to really hammer this point home.
“Good Trouble.”
John Wells
@@aishashaw5885 Did you mean John Lewis?
Lewis yes
That part at the end… I’ve never heard someone who isn’t trans describe that feeling so eloquently and perfectly before. I’m glad we have people like you on our side :’D
The part at the end doesn't make sense. Men and women's changeroom are not open, so people can see you naked as you change. Doors are closed, and there are mirrors inside so you can see how you look. I don't see how he would feel uncomfortable. Changerooms are not built like urinal stalls where the walls only go up part way.
@@dh5549 If someone sees you carrying a dress from the ladies department to the mens? Or sees you, a man, changing in the ladies'? Or asks you, "Are you looking for a gift for your wife or girlfriend?" You can't imagine how someone might feel uncomfortable? Just do it yourself, and see. Just imagine doing it, if you can't bring yourself to try doing so. Feel those butterflies of anxiety already? Now, imagine that is your every day experience.
@@dh5549 Many stores have men's departments and women's departments, with their own changing rooms. It's EXTREMELY uncomfortable to stand out, especially during a time where an entire political party is trying to make it seem like trans people are inherently dangerous. It's also a terrifying time to start transitioning, which is the situation I'm in. I'm just grateful my state is passing protections for trans people.
But the truth is you're partly right... There are full doors and locks on changing rooms, so it SHOULD be nobody's business what clothes other people want to try on. We just need to get past the moral panic.
@@millenial90 yes thisssss
And even when the changing rooms aren’t gendered, it could still feel uncomfortable cause you’re like “if people see me going into a changing room with these clothes, they’re gonna think I’m weird” 😭
@@dh5549 You have no idea how narrow peoples mind is. I went to buy T-shirts for gym and I like the "men" type. The sales lady just couldn't process; "But it's for men!!!!" came out of her mouth like 5-6 times. People like that would totally feel free to preach to you in the middle of the store even if they don't know you.
Also not all stores put mirrors on the inside.
I ended up going back to the closet, cause it was just too much to handle daily as an out trans person.
As a Tennessee native, and a trans woman, the solidarity is heartwarming, and I absolutely love this performance.
oh shit hi roslyn!
girliepop I love your pfp who's the artist ? :0
As a straight Tennessee native, you have my support :D
Omg same
@@letstalkpoliticsBDG banger pfp
As a trans guy, I appreciate the absolute hell out of this man. That last little bit at the end did get me teary eyed, because holy shit is it rare to get a cisgendered individual to understand just how difficult it really is for us. We are constantly terrified because of the closed mindedness of the people around us, and even more terrified of the potential violence we might face. Even here in a liberal state I've experienced aggressive transphobia that put me in fear of my life, and the worst part was I had to keep seeing the offender at work. My employer did nothing to help me, only the bear minimum to basically be kept safe from any sort of lawsuits or legal action. We just want to exist, we just wanna know that we'll be okay, which is why transitioning is one of the scariest things I think I might ever have to do. It takes years, and for a lot of people several surgical procedures, to stop being seen as our assigned gender, not to mention my amazing non binary siblings out there who have to fight this bigotry far more than some.
This life is cruel, but your fellow neighbor is crueler.
I think I have some understanding of how you feel. Recently, I was exchanging comments on social media with an individual who was very anti-drag, anti-trans, anti-gay etc. His comments progressed from, “ I just don’t believe in men wearing dresses” point of view to full on hate speech in calling transgender people abominations and demons. (Guess I pressed a button, when I reminded him that Jesus wore a dress.) This guy began to threaten violence, and I became alarmed. I used to bartend, so I’ve dealt with some unreasonable assholes in my time, but this exchange had turned into something frighteningly different. I am not a person that is easily rattled, but I admit that guy’s hateful comments invoked a deeply disturbing sense of being in imminent danger. I felt physically nauseous and anxious at the thought of what if this lunatic somehow tracked me down, or worse, what if I inadvertently provoked this nut job and he hurts someone. I can only imagine how much more those feelings would be amplified if that exchange had occurred in person. I shudder to think about what could happen if my daughter, who identifies as a nonbinary trans person, ever crossed paths with such a hateful person. I flagged his comments. I reported the account for hate speech. I work for a small printing company. We specialize in banners and billboards. I outright refuse to print any message that promotes hate. I draw the line at false political propaganda as well. I’m glad the company I work for supports those views. I wouldn’t work there, if they didn’t. I don’t vote for politicians who condone or ignore hate speech and violence. It’s the very least I can do to support human rights. No matter how you identify, you have the right to exist in peace with dignity and respect. I just wanted you to know that support for transgender people from cisgender folks may not be as rare as you think. I suspect some support for the transgender community may just be out of sight, perhaps even hiding in a few closets. I’ll do my best to open some doors. I wish you well.
@@michellereed3272 thank you for the support! And yeah, sometimes ally support can be hard to find for one reason or another, and especially since the wrong oftentimes scream louder than everyone, it begins to feel like an absolute wind tunnel of hatred.
I appreciate what you do do for the community and for human rights as a whole, and I'm sure a ton of others would agree with me. We need more people like you in my opinion, not just because there's a lot of people who think I should be dead, but simply because the world would be a better place.
I hope you're well as well, you deserve so many smiles throughout your life 😁
You must really enjoy your little fantasy world. Sad. Get some help
@ Michelle Reed unfortunately, it’s not a matter of “if” - rather it’s a matter of “when.” Best to prepare for real-life encounters like the one you had online. I hope everyone stays safe 🙏
"It takes years, and for a lot of people several surgical procedures, to stop being seen as our assigned gender" - What you say here, sadly, doesn't even apply to all trans women that do get a bunch of surgeries. For many of us who transitioned later in life (I was almost 60), it's hopeless to dream that we might ever be "passable" as women. I'm 6'-1" and 300 pounds - I've always been big, and bulky, and in group photos where I'm surrounded by AFAB women, I stand out a full head taller and way "bulkier" than any other woman in that photo. My face doesn't look overtly masculine, thank God, but I'm so huge that there's just no way that I'll ever be passable. I'm so sorry that you've been harassed at work and that your employer isn't helping you. This is inexcusable, but all too frequent.
When you started talking about your experience buying the dress. When you went to try it on, and you had to pause. "Men and women's, which one do I use? I don't want to make other people uncomfortable." And that moment of true empathy and realization.
As a trans person, I cannot tell you how much it means to me to hear that.
Thank you for doing this, thank you for supporting us.
Thanks. I think it's really important to pull back the conversation to the actual experiences that people struggle with. I think there are lots of compassionate people out there (including me) who just get caught up in feelings about being told what we should think or feel and lose sight of the actual experiences that people face in daily life.
If we could focus a bit more on the actual experiences of individuals and less on which tribe we are in I think we could make progress.
As a cis guy, I had the same realization when he had it. It never even occurred to me that y'all are trying to keep everyone else from feeling uncomfortable just as much as yourselves. I work with several trans individuals that I absolutely adore and I always worry if there is something I am inadvertently doing to make them uncomfortable. They are nearly half my age, just kids really, and they have such a battle ahead of them. They are incredibly brave to be being themselves in rural Oregon (read:the south of the west coast)
As a straight man who's done drag since first grade that question really hit a spot emotionally and psychologically. This is what I love about Steve, he's so unapologetically supportive of others.
@@davidgriffin9247 If you are ever wondering if you are inadvertantly doing something to make trans individuals uncomfortable, just *ask* them in a respectful way. They will be happy to answer you, and then you won't have to wonder and worry anymore.
I am apparently "The Devil" (white, hetero, lower-middle class, atheist, college graduate, former military service) and I applaud anyone who stands up to idiocy and evil.
And I, at least morally, support anyone who wants to live their life their way as long as it does not intentionally harm others to do so. (And moral outrage doesn't count as harm!)
-
I only hate individuals for the things they do and say, and not the identity they have, or any of their born properties (race, gender, hair color, nationality, etc.)
This man has more courage in his pinky than every comedian that complains about cancel culture combined.
Any human that isn't a Nazi fits that description.
@@cyl_genderfluid-furry lol fair point.
To be fair, cancel culture is really shitty. I recommend “The Cancelling of The American Mind” by Greg Lukainhoff and Rikki Schlott.
Fucking FACTS
It's always interesting to watch people speak to sold out venues about how canceled they are.
I never expected it was possible for someone who is not trans to describe an experience they went through that usually only trans people have to go through. Honestly that story at the end was just so nice to listen to. Thank you for being such a great ally to our community, Steve.
as a straight white man who thought he was open enough to understand everyone's POV, this hit hard. I thought that I knew that it was OK to be something non-specific. But you made me take a step back and empathize with anyone who could be non-specific... thank you
🥰keep that heart open and that mind bright, gives me hope
Non-specific? Do you mean non conformist?
@@lakeshoresubtleties I was more referencing non-binary, but I suppose that applies too.
Good keep using empathy skills
as someone who is nonbinary, this gives me a bit of hope. thanks for being open to extending some empathy our way, not everyone even thinks to try that.
Hearing how you felt going to a dressing room made me tear up, I experienced that for so many years. I had to be escorted into restrooms because I was so terrified. It was hard to find restrooms that I could feel safe in, and the ONE single-toilet restroom I found in Houston, Texas when I was visiting relatives barred me from using it. It was literally one toilet and sink in there, locks from the inside, but apparently it'd be a problem.
I order my clothes online and hope for the best. Thank you so much for doing this! I have so many ally friends, LGBTQ+ friends, and friends in the drag community. This means so much ❤
hope you're doing well!
"I'm also not enjoying the lack of pockets" I didn't think I could love this man more
I heard that and I knew that this man had won over half the crowd, and probably me if I wasn't already won over, with one sentence.
omg i found a dress with pockets at a thrift store today! :D
I love dress pockets!❤😆
I'm literally crying right now. As a life-long 32 yr old queer Tennessean, this gesture of solidarity means so much more than I can ever express in words. Thank you.
I only hope this starts a trend that others follow to help prove how absolutely ridiculous these abusive laws actually are.
May the universe bless you with love and praise. ❤😊
Stay strong I’m sorry there are so many hateful idiots in the world.
❤
Not everyone feels the way the republicans do ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sending mum hugs 🤗 from aus Xxx 🌈
Blessings. I'm sorry the world is so hard on you. I wish I knew you.
There's been so much horrible news for LGBTQ+, and especially trans, people lately. Thank you for brightening my day during this very scary time. It really means a lot to know that people like you exist.
Also, just wanna add: it's really lovely to see comedy that comes from a place of genuine curiosity and compassion and exercises in empathy and reflection.
So much respect. I am an old cis-mom with 3 adult cis sons, and... I have done my best to teach them a lifetime path of inclusivity. To make everyone feel welcomed, loved, and comfortable with being who they are.
What is Cis? Nevermind. I'm sure I don't need to know.
@@Long-legged On the off chance you don't actually know what it means, cis is a Latin prefix meaning "on the same side." Cis is used as a short hand to mean "not trans." Usually it's just a helpful word when talking about gender stuff.
@@ThePurpleCheeseMan gender stuff. I think I have 9 words. It has worked for me for decades. Nobody has ever been mistaken.
Boy, girl
Man, woman
Guy, gal
He, she
Confused(boy or girl)
@@Long-legged Okay, just confirming. You can choose to dumb down your vocabulary if you wish, but Latin and gender non-conformity has existed for much longer than you. I hope you can find more purpose in life than heckling people in RUclips comments for being different than you.
@Long-legged Well, now you have is and trans, bit as long as you apply the others properly you should not even have to use cis or trans. Just make sure you give them as people feel appropriate.
As a trans woman, it took years to gain the confidence to step into a dressing room and have the right to be there just like every other woman. I'm really fortunate, because I realize some women will die before they experience that kind of public acceptance or even self acceptance
You're not a woman.
@@redrick8900 And you're not human
I'm so happy for you sister :) ❤
no.
@@pecincano With that perspective, are you in favor of adding a gender neutral option?
That whole thing at the end about not feeling comfortable entering either dressing room because it makes you feel uncomfortable because you fear it’ll make someone else uncomfortable is so real. As a trans person, this insight made me feel understood. It’s amazing that a cishet man really pulled through for us and the drag community. Genuinely amazing.
That was indeed impressive. I am NB myself and it is very difficult to shop for anything in the womens' department, it is just too anxiety inducing for me so I do my shopping online. I have worn a skirt in public before as I didn't change after going to a pride festival and that was very hard, but ultimately helpful. I don't think I would do it all the time but baby steps, I guess.
Same. I’m a trans woman, and he really hit the nail on the head.
I am who I am, and I’m not trans because it makes life easier or because it’s a fetish or something. Why would anyone want to go through what we go through as trans people? I’m a woman in the wrong body, and that’s all there is to it. Nothing more.
I'm trans, and I definitely feel that "I don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable" thing anytime I go into a bathroom or dressing room. I've actually been harassed in a bathroom before, and I'm sure it won't be the last time either. Honestly, thank you Steve for using your platform for more than just making people laugh, it's important as an ally to use whatever you can to show support. So thank you.
The day I delt with physical harassment using the men's room was the last time I used the men's room.
@@VictoriousJiaIt doesn't make me uncomfortable so it must be their problem.
Same here. Thank you Steve. You are trying to change things and it will work.
I was there when my dad legally changed her name when she transitioned and afterward at lunch was the first time she used a public restroom for women. Nobody freaked out, the earth didn't crack open, and no babies were sacrificed. It was a huge first step for her confidences on her journey.
@@Rage867 I just wanted to say, I'm so happy for her. She's valid and braver than any transphobe will ever be.
You made me cry today ♥️. I'm a trans woman who lives in Tennessee and you told the whole world how I feel from start to finish. Thank you Steve! Thank you so much.
Take care of yourself down there!
Cry lol, go watch some Jeffrey Marsh.
Noone and I mean not one single person should make you feel bad because you were born in the wrong body. If I can change even one person's mind I would gladly do it for you.
I’m a cis white male and was so moved by this, especially how he ended it with his heartfelt speech, that I got a lump in my throat. He described perfectly how inherent human bias works.
Hey @wrexxal, you have so many people backing you up. I'm sorry we can't all be there with you in person. So much love to you, keep your chin up. 💕
I'm mtf trans and I just wanted to say thank you for your support and walking in our proverbial shoes, even if it was just a small step it went a long way.
I truly hope that all of those transphobes watch this video to just get a little bit of empathy. THAT would be a huge change.
All that fuss for ruling the obvious club shows don't have their place in middle school? Is that really so unreasonable?
@@romeodeborneo wtf r u talking about. How is a man wearing a dress and reading Cinderella to children any different than a woman doing it
@@romeodeborneo yes it is
@@SophiaAtkinson let's get strippers to school to teach feminity awareness then
@@SophiaAtkinson perhaps you have some to say about this? ruclips.net/video/0cE7djFJ6pI/видео.html
Not only do you do stand up comedy Steve, you also stand up for for others and their rights, by speaking out and standing up against wrong and wrong doers. Respect, peace and love.
Dudes literally a fucking legend, like not many people would have the guts to do this, but he did it anyways and that's so fucking cool
He's a stand up guy!
does he stand up to groomers?
@@kitfisto1827 Yes. He did a whole thing about how child beauty pageants are disgusting, aka the actual groomers.
not just a stand up comedian, but a “stand up” comic ;)
I've been to like 3 drag shows in my life and I'm still straight and male, so if you fear it's going to change you then you're probably repressing something in yourself. I had a great time and met some great people.
"No Shirt. No Shoes. No Service" - sure, perfectly fine, no problem at all, easily and willingly compliable
"No Shirt. No Shoes. No Mask. No Service" - meltdown! I'm losing my freedoms!
As a queer individual first of all thank you. Second. The realization you had trying to find a fitting room brought me to tears. Everytime I put on clothes it's something I have to think about and choose. Do I stand out and make others uncomfortable or do I make everyone else comfortable at the expense of my own happiness and sanity. I'm not here to brainwash your kids. I'm not here to shove myself in your line of site. I just want to exist and make it through life without having to constantly question every movement and action I make or take out of fear of how others perceive me and more importantly how those perceptions make people feel thus resulting in how they handle my existence.
When you started on about the last bit I knew exactly where it was going and it just brought me to tears. We are not monsters or predators. Its sickening the lies these people concoct
*"I'm not here to brainwash your kids. I'm not here to shove myself in your line of site."*
Lgbt people demand active support (not just acceptance) from everyone, everywhere, at all times. You literally have to say/do anything and everything that lgbt people tell you. If you dare to resist in any way whatsoever, they will do everything in their power to ruin your life. Oh.. and literally 100% of lgbt people who work in education actively and aggressively exploit their positions to brainwash children. They openly admit it almost every time they open their mouth. I had no problem with lgbt people before, but they've made it very clear that they're not going to leave people (or even their children) alone. If you aren't in support of this I would suggest trying to convince other lgbt people to back off, because at this point you aren't giving people any choice but to fight back.
@@uthmanibn-jafar1159 what exactly is your definition of active support? And what source told you that LGBT teachers are constantly mentioning being gay, or that mentioning being gay is brainwashing children? Why is it okay for straight teachers to mention their spouse every once and awhile, but not for gay teachers to do the same thing?
LGBT people aren’t trying to take charge over anything or anyone. They’re not some monolith who all have completely the same goal for society. They just all want to be able to do the things straight people can do and get treated the same for it. They’re not gonna ruin your life. The only time I imagine your life could be ruined from disagreeing with a gay person is if you said something incredibly homophobic and your employer ended up seeing it. There is no attack on everyone else by LGBT people. I can’t even imagine why you would feel attacked.
It's unfortunate that in only some areas of this country that's not a concern you need to have. I am one of those people, along with others who accept you for who you are and you don't make me uncomfortable. I grew up in rural Oklahoma where the sign outside town limits said *if you're black don't let the sun go down on you here* . That sign no longer exists today and one day neither will these bigotry.
Even if you WERE here to brainwash their kids it wouldn't work. We can't change who we are just because someone tells us that's not who we are. I hope you live someplace safer than Tennessee.
You are my hero. I’m a 28 year old trans guy. Bathrooms are the worst for me. I have to feel like I pass (term for being seen as your projected gender) in order to use the men’s rooms. I’m scared that I’ll upset some old lady in the woman’s room or be called out as female by a man in the men’s room. Their are some days I’ll just hold it because it’s less stressful. Thank you for what you do and say. Just thank you.
Please feel free to use the men’s room if that makes you comfortable. The unwritten rule for men using the facilities is don’t make eye contact with other men and never stare at the area between their legs. It’s not a place for interaction. I cannot remember the last time I even glimpsed a penis in a men’s room. I would guess you would just go into a stall, do your business, wash, and leave. I would like to think that your apprehension is overblown. I may be wrong but I think it is your right to live your life your way and it is not warning anyone else.
same here buddy, whichever bathroom I use people double check they're in the right place
big hugs to u. well get things changed it just takes time.
BIG HUGS. I have a NB sibling who sometimes has to choose (more often in the past than the present) which bathroom to use when there are no gender neutral bathrooms available, and I used to go with/ tell them to use the womens. At least they aren't harassed in the womens.
Every time I think about this subject, I think what could be more terrifying than being a trans woman being forced to go into a mens room. That is a recipe for disaster.
As a woman I am not worried about trans women in the women's room. The only open areas in the womens room are sinks. No sneak peeks or whatever the weirdos who are passing these laws think could happen.
As a trans woman I giga-pass (Trans slang meaning I look like a cis woman.) Nobody bats me an eye when I walk into the women's bathroom. There is no way in Hell I will ever use a mens bathroom again.
You've hit the nail on rhe head there. The sorts of men these "gender-criticals" think would be dressing like women to gain access to "female spaces", wouldn't dream of going to such ridiculous lengths. Indeed, they'd be way more likely to be punching a trans woman for being in the men's, having been being openly creepy towards women in the bar area. Those sorts of men wouldn't be seen dead presenting as "feminine".
It makes me really heartfelt knowing there’s comedians out there willing to stand up for us.
Jokes aside, this is important. Thank you.
I have trans friends, seeing their struggle to not make other ppl uncomfortable is heart breaking. Thnx for doing & sharing this!
Literally went shopping today with my family for a wedding, had this moment of looking in my mom's eyes for help and to be saved from the situation when I had to go in the fitting room. I've been transitioned for three years and instantly visualized this video in my head, hung my head in defeat of logic and went ahead and shopped proudly. It was good, super grateful for this performance, super grateful for the support and understanding. 🙏 Definitely helped me through worrying about what other people would think, or even worse possibly say to me, if they were to notice I'm trans. No "thing" happened. It was great and I felt pretty in the dresses. 🙏
gross
@@skinnie2838 I don't care that this was a year ago, I don't care if your entire upbringing was anti-queer, anti-trans etc. I don't care that it was just one word.
If your reaction to someone (even someone that you think is bad for whatever fucking reason) who bares their soul and describes their overcoming of anxiety and self-doubt and went out in public despite all of that is to say "gross", you have a fucking black, diseased, pus-filled soul and you should seek help for the cruel and sad life you lead.
@gracehippey5126 you're a fucking hero. ♥ ♥ ♥
@@skinnie2838transphobia is indeed gross
@@andromededp5316 Crying about transphobia ever 3 seconds and pretending like everyone is "transphobic" is gross. Nice try leftoid.
@@andromededp5316 Pretending like people are "transphobic" and calling anyone and everyone a "transphobe" is indeed gross. Nice try leftoid.
Moments like this are why I love Steve Hofstetter. His heckler shows are great, but his compassion is why he is able to dismantle those sad saps so easily.
I just want to say how much I appreciate not only the single act of you wearing a dress under these circumstances, but also your acknowledgement that you're barely scratching the surface of what it means for folks who don't fit neatly into a gender binary. I'm a cis het white man, and I have a lot of blind spots to the struggles of others, so this was a good, if sad, reminder of the struggles our trans and queer friends and family go through on a daily basis. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and time, Steve.
This isn't performative. This isn't for show. This is a powerful statement and I'm here for it. Love love love it!
You precisely described what I go through every day. I don't go to the mens room because it's scary, and I don't go to the women's room because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. So if a place doesn't have a unisex bathroom I actually have to leave and go somewhere else. It's incredibly depressing for me, and I thank you for expressing the difficulties we go through daily.
I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I don't know where you are from, but I would be honored to have you pee next to me any day. And will never stop fighting to normalize respect for everyone's personal gender expression.
Fuck that noise, Katy. You deserve to pee when you need to! Women's restrooms have stalls and it's nobody's business what goes on in there. From your icon you look like a lovely young woman and any woman who would give you the side eye in the restroom has her own issues. Live your best life and know this mom of a trans daughter has got your back. ♥
Katy, I’m a 24 year old cis woman, and I live in a very conservative town in Arizona. I know the hatred and bigotry that is out there in the world, and I want you to know that I’m not uncomfortable with my transgender sisters being in the bathroom with me. You are a woman, and you deserve to be in the women’s bathroom! I sincerely hope that we as a society are able to become more accepting and less hateful sooner rather than later.
When I moved to SoCal and saw gender neutral bathrooms in so many places it made me happy.
It doesn’t just help trans people but also parents with kids who are a different sex. Most fathers are uncomfortable taking their little girls into men’s restrooms and equally uncomfortable having their young daughters go into women’s restrooms unaccompanied. All parents need access to changing facilities too. Over the years I’ve seen lots of uncomfortable boys in women’s restrooms. We definitely need spaces where everyone belongs.
I also want to reiterate what the earlier poster said. I have no problem with trans women using the women’s restroom. Truth is I’m not actually going to know am I?
These stupid laws about trans people are just a way of saying if I find someone insufficiently masculine or feminine, I can be a jerk. Legalized harassment. Whatever your assumptions about another person, you really cannot know whether a person is trans or not just looking at them. And in a restroom we should all pretty much be attending to our own business anyway.
Does it make you more comfortable to know that middle school and kindergartens are been put in contact with bars and clubs shows? Is it really appropriate for you ? And should we add strippers and pole dancers or bdsm to educate these little ones ?
I admire your courage in taking a stand for the LGBTQ community. As a trans woman I know I'm taking a risk just existing where intolerance seems to be increasing daily. Hopefully with enough allies standing with us we may all live to see a better future. Thank you.
Here's a simple thank you for being an ally and supporting drag as well as trans people. I felt those last words you shared on stage. Love your comedy! And thank you again!
You “walked a mile in their shoes” to bring awareness to the crowd but I’m really impressed with the awareness you taught yourself too. Thank you
ALL DRESSES NEED POCKETS! You’ve struck a chord with every dress wearer on that one.
EXACTLY. And skirts should always have pleats, I daresay, as it makes them massively easier to move about in, as the fabric is then so much more flexible and better looking. My skirts and other such articles all have pockets personally, almost like a sort of phantom last wish my no longer existent cis self; that I have clothing that is comfortable yet also functional.
Here's an idea:
Sew pockets.. _on the inside!_
Think about it. Thieves look for pockets when pickpocketing, and reaching into the garment looks fine at the sides.. so putting pockets in the inside means stuff like your phone and wallet can never be stolen unless someone knocks it out of your hand (very very unlikely).
Also this way it doesn't affect the aesthetic of the clothing, which I feel is important.
This is what I'm going to do to every skirt I buy. 😂
I dont wear dresses so I must ask... How would you go about accessing the pockets?@@Ixarus6713
Noooooo, but then how will purse companies make their moneyyyy
There was a whole website devoted to this. I love a good dress pocket 😂
Thank you for being an ally in the sense of actually actively doing the right thing where and when you can, and not just claiming the title.
You are appreciated and loved, dude, and I'm glad I stumbled onto your heckling response videos back in the day.
As a trans woman in the United States, where one of the main political parties is actively trying to kill me, this means so much to me that my favorite stand up comedian of all time did this. Thank you so much, steve!
I wish it was possible to send a real hug through this virtual space. So much love to you 💕 Keep your chin up, you're a badass.
You people are so dramatic.
@@prototype8137 Or just paying attention.
@@prototype8137 we've moved beyond prototypes like you to actual human beings so feel free to upgrade.
@@prototype8137 "you people"? You know the only group of people who have never had to fear being assaulted, physically pr sexually, and/or killed - literally - in the US, simply for existing, are white heterosexual cis Christian males. Everyone else, at some point has been, or still is, "you people".
I literally just had to move back to my hometown in TN last month due to life circumstances, and seeing the governor sign those two pieces of legislature made my incensed, as well as making my heart sink low. Thank you for your small act of solidarity
I absolutely loved what he said ending the show, truly means a lot to people in my community 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️❤️🫂
Teared up. Trans people are people.
Bigots can f*ck all the way off.
@@NathanTrail Yes they are and ty for your comment.
💯
yup!
@@ericapelz260 ty hon ❤️
As a trans woman in the Deep South I appreciate this so much! Thank you for standing with us in these tumultuous times.
💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕💕 You've got so many people at your back, hopefully some in person. Much love to you.
You are worthy of self-love, respect and safety. Take care
@@not_you_i_dont_even_know_you there are several that stand with me and for me. I am always appreciative of them. Only real holdout is one of my brothers. The other brother proudly claims me as a sister.
You got this girl, we cis women are right here with you.
YOU GO BIG SIS! ! Keep being u fuck the haters
Straight white male here. So much for an intro.
I must say I really appreciated you doing this, because people like us don't really lose anything by accepting the existence of LGBTQ+ people and be somewhat emphatic about them. Especially the last part really opened my eyes.
Thank you Steve, we need more like you in this world!
But RUclips is all about censorship. Noticed all the extra ads lately?
You better not DARE say anything about them. The google is so EVIL these days.
Agreed!! ❤️
Well… I laughed at your jokes the same way I do when you aren’t wearing a dress… You definitely make much more of a difference than you give yourself credit for! It’s such a great thing that the influence is aimed in so many good directions. You help SO MANY people!
Thank you!
As a straight, cis ally, I think this was both brave and groundbreaking. Steve was relatively safe because the new anti-drag law is so vague, but we need more stand-up comedians....and comediennes....to follow Steve Hoffstetter's example and help drive positive change while continuing to heal us with the powerful medicine of laughter!!
As a person who was born intersex and who took nearly three decades to figure out what that meant for me and how it interacts with my gender identity, and who is still, nearly four decades into my life, struggling to get my body to conform to my gender identity, I very much appreciate the solidarity shown here. I also appreciate the way you ended the piece, speaking about your experience in buying the dress. I'm luckily well beyond the point where I care if I make other people uncomfortable any longer, at least as far as my body is concerned. I'm honestly not sure if I ever did care, but there was at least a time that I did try to conform to social norms and expectations. I don't do that any longer. Life's too short. It's my body, I don't expose myself. That's the most concession they get at this point.
This was a great set. I love the amount of empathy this guy has for people.
Not all heroes wear capes. Sometime they wear a fetching red dress. ❤️😁😁😁😁👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
People like you make me feel a little safer. I don’t really know how these bills and stuff will effect me as a non-binary person but I’ve been terrified for my two best friends who are only turning 20 this year. They are beautiful women who are terrified and who have been harassed. It breaks my heart every time I talk to them and they cry and they are scared and angry. One of them keeps saying she’s going to die and I really don’t know how to comfort her sometimes. I am so angry for them. I would riot for them. It’s said as a joke but I will identify as a fucking problem for the people who mess with them. You made one of her days at work. I’ve watched you for years and this makes me feel a little bit more at peace knowing that there is support. It felt like for a while there that no one was talking about what was happening and no one cared and idk if straight peoples news needed weeks to catch up or something but I’ve been slowly seeing more and more support. I hope the world can heal and evolve.
A whole lot of us are with you! VOTE BLUE!
Sending love and compassion to you and your friends who are on the front lines of this battle every day.
btw, *if someone comments something bigoted in this thread* just report it as harrassment and continue living your unique and beautiful life
Yo Steve, I'm 72 and have been watching you for about a year. I'm fairly disabled and probably will not get to a live show, Much as I would like. This dress skit tonight was a phenomenal display of solidarity and I deeply admire your strength of character and political stances. I am a str8 guy with no hangups, although the NEW pronoun thing catches me a bit off guard, hahahahaha KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND MAINTAIN THE GOOD FIGHT. Thank you brother :) peace
I'm a trans woman and that last part hit hard. Thank you. It's all about perspective.
That bit at the end, about not making other people feel uncomfortable... That's me. I haven't had top surgery yet but I pass well enough. I use Men's restrooms. But when I'm at the gym, I don't wear my binder in the shower or while working out. So I have to decide which locker room to use, so I use the Women's. And I've seen women walk in, see my face, and look surprised, maybe a bit uncomfortable... but then they see my tits and carry on. But men always have to worry about how they act around women and it's usually her word when something happens. And while I'm not a woman, my rack begs to differ and I can't really hide that when changing/showering. And I don't want to make another man feel like he's unsafe if I should decide to say he touched me or whatnot.
It's sad that you have to deal with that but I'm happy you are expressing who you are :D
I have nothing but support for you living the life of who you’ve probably always known you were, but I do have to disagree with the notion that the issue in your story is that you should feel sorry for men in that regard. I’m not denying your truth of that being a valid feeling that you have to put up/deal with. But I mean… All in all, by the numbers, it is much, much worse for women (cis, trans or non-binary people who are (mostly) female presenting), almost all of whom have to put up with the fear of something actually violent happening to them in a situation like that all the time. That being said, I sincerely feel for you for having bad experiences with changing rooms or restrooms on account of you not wanting to make someone uncomfortable.
@@martinlundagerpedersen4574 Thats entirely factually false. I mean, like.. Wow.
I didn't think I passed until I came out of the woman's restroom and caught the woman coming in check the bathroom sign to make sure she was going into the right bathroom. That's when I stopped using public restrooms all together unless it was a unisex bathroom. And even though the lifting world is pretty inclusive. There are shitty people in every community. That's why I'm making my own gym at home.
As a cis woman with a beard (its not lumberjack, but its a pretty thick goatee), i get those looks too. Nobody has said anything to me as of yet, though i do get called sir a lot.
I wouldnt worry too much about the lockerroom. They can mind their business. I do believe its a fear response though. Most women know almost our entire lives that some men can be dangerous. We never know who that some is.
Once they see that you are just doing your normal thing, like getting dressed or whatever and not lurking, its just a passing thought for most. I, myself would also be wary of a man in the dressing room. But no matter what you look like, we can tell a lurker from someone who is just going about their business, rack or no rack, beard or no beard.
Imo, its probably safer for you, yourself, to use the womens lockerroom.
And as a cis woman with a beard, fk em is they dont like you going in the women restroom. Im waiting for the day that some bigot approaches me. That will be one bigot who will learn their lesson to mind their own business. And one less for folks like yourself to deal with.
I will happily fight that fight, so you dont have to.
I will take them down, one bigot at a time if i have to. 👍🌈❤
Watching this, I felt like I should be offended, but I wasn't. It was all very tactfully covered and approached, and I found some segments actually funny! I think as humans we just have part of us trained to find certain things offensive as a learned behaviour, and we shut down before actually appreciating it. I'm glad I gave this a shot!
Thanks for allowing yourself the opportunity to find out for yourself😊
I'm glad you did too. I'm not sure if you are a trans person (like myself) who was getting ready to feel mocked, or a mainstream cis person getting ready to be offended by a man in a dress, but I'm glad you have the self-awareness to notice and challenge your knee-jerk reactions. If more people had that kind of insight and kindness, we could be living in a very different world. What you just did is one of the most precious things that a human is capable of.
@@nebulouskatbanter9055 I'm a trans man, and I was wholeheartedly ready for jokes that didn't land or half-researched bullshit. But this was real and made sense
You may not be able to change the law right now but, if you look at the comments, you did change some peoples' minds. And that's the first step. Thank you.
Your comment at the end about feeling uncomfortable looking for clothes, that really hit me. Especially as a trans woman that shit is some of the most uncomfortable and scary shit I've ever been through. There have been many times I didn't even try things on before buying. I just grabbed them hoping they would fit. Thank you for bringing this situation to light. I really hope it makes some folks think.
It sucks so much that you have to do that kind of mental math for such basic everyday experiences. Love to you as you navigate the balance between being yourself and keeping yourself safe. Just know, nothing you need to do to avoid pissing people off impacts your dignity. Like, if you decide you gotta back down to avoid been attacked or whatever, you are still valid and you haven't let yourself down. And you have people at your back, if not always in person. Love love love to you.
@@not_you_i_dont_even_know_you thank you so much. ♥️
@@mirandameyhem2724 p.s. as a queer person who crawled on hands and knees out of fundamentalist religion to save my own soul, I'm so proud of you for accepting and embracing your identity, no matter how far along in that journey you are. You're a badass.
@@not_you_i_dont_even_know_you right back at you. 🥰 Thank you for your kind words and for sharing with me.
It’s really empowering to hear a cis person acknowledge the discomfort of shopping for the “wrong gender”. I’m non-binary. And I feel that whenever I want to try on a feminine article (even shirts/pants that might otherwise just seem a bit more fancy/embellished than its masc counterpart). It fades with time, especially if I’m not shopping alone. But it never goes away fully.
As a genderfluid (under the trans umbrella), this is absolutely heartwarming. What a great way to make a statement 💜 This is the true definition of a peaceful protest.
If I put you in the freezer will you become a gendersolid?/j
Thank you so much for your support! Your kind words and message, it means the world to trans ppl like me and other LGBTQ+ individuals struggling in today's society. Especially living in these areas where we're being targeted relentlessly. Your kind heart is what we need more of in this world and we love having ppl like you on our side! Much love to you and thank you for everything! :)
Love the "no pockets" complaint. You are amazing.
And there is absolutely no reason womens clothing can't have decent pockets.
I wear kilts. My utility kilts have freaking pockets....big ones!
@@kevinj8700 clothing designers are like politicians....... there is the image of what should be, the buying/voting for the product, the reality of no change/pockets. Lol
All of my dresses have pockets. But then, I didn't buy any of them at Macy's!
@@kevinj8700 the reason why is because they want to sell women purses, which are 3x the price of the pants. Create the problem, sell the solution.
If America gets a chance for the comedian to politician pipeline, I vouch for this guy
It’s absurd that ANYONE would be terrified by clothing.
@Captain McBallz it's when people are corrupt or evil enough to think they are automatically entitled to what people and genitalia they want.
The fact that they might get a surprise since they care more about the genitalia than the people ... That might be part of what scares them.
Part of the problem lies with politicians' constituents. Some of them don't care much about this stuff, but they know it will poll well with their bigoted voters.
No one is it’s when you groom kids pedos
My kid came out as trans last year... and while I can admit I am still unsure how I feel inside (because it is confusing for family too) I can say this.. it isnt ABOUT me. It is about them. My job is to support my kid. Period. Regardless of how they self identify... I still identify as their parent.
So, thank you Steve, for showing support to people who need it. That moment of pure empathy, when you put yourself in their place, even if it only lasted a moment... it is how we all should act. As if what other people feel matters.
Because it does.
It might because I haven’t slept well but I’m tearing up watching this. (While laughing too of course.) I have family in TN and have been so sick over the news around the drag ban bill. Thank you for sticking up for our community and putting yourself out there.
Thank you so much for supporting my brothers, sisters and myself.
Started crying before the video even started. This is exactly what we need. I appreciate the solidarity so fucking much. And you made me laugh as I cried.
You have done more than you can imagine by giving a metaphorical finger to the small minded bigots and trying to walk in the shoes of another even for a few minutes you raised your awareness of some real issues and made it possible for your audience to see the world a little differently. Taking a stand against injustice is always the right thing to do.
Thank you so much for doing this. It means so much to so many people. Hopefully if enough people do things like this, the message will get across that the laws they've passed in my home state are stupid.
Like which ones?
*That part at the end, about how it felt to buy the dress and try it on, made me understand something that never even clicked in my brain.*
Actually made my eyes water-up just a little. iThink we need more people expressing how these simple day to day parts of living, become emotionally charged events that can be soul-crushing, when these laws and attacks are made on LGBTQ+ people. Good on ya, mate. Well done!
Your ending brought tears to my eyes. My trans son had a hard time figuring out how to buy adult male clothing he could try on. He was concerned he’d get grief for using the men’s dressing room where women’s dressing rooms were also available (like at Macy’s). Therefore, we went to a men’s only clothing store, we picked out some outfits, (I used to buy all my his father’s clothes bc his taste was awful and he knew that) and he tried them on. No one yelled at him to get out or refused to serve him. We live in the blue part of Oregon and, so far, the high school and college school systems have been completely supportive. Still, as with all things involving women, trans women are perceived as far more threatening despite the fact they are the ones who face threats, beatings, and murder every day. So, thank you for your ending remarks and for your support of human rights for everyone.
Thank you (!!!) for commenting on dressing rooms and not wanting to make others uncomfortable! I'm trans, and have experienced exactly what you said about feeling out of place and uncomfortable in gendered settings, while also trying to not upset others. It's so hard for trans folks at times, something that cisgender folks will never know. Thank you!!!
This was so, SO nice to see. Especially the part at the end. Thank you for speaking the truth and using your platform to support our community
This man is actually counter culture and subversive unlike all the other “comedians” who take easy route and make fun of an already scrutinized group
Hilarious 😂 My brother came out in 1983 he was a pioneer for the LBGTQ+ community. I sincerely thank you for this show of support. You have my upmost respect.
I absolutely love it when comedians use their platform to give a message, thank you Steve!
I live in Memphis and this is brilliant. I support this kind of protest and we don't have to agree! I love you man! You do you ALWAYS and HUGE respect for that!
Goddamn, Mr. Hofstetter. Was not expecting to cry at a comedy show. Well said.
Steve. You. Rock.
Thank you Steve for showing support I am a trans woman and what you said is absolute truth I was harassed at a burger king and as a result now I have to go everywhere with a taser just to be safe I believe in spreading as much happiness and joy as possible and to just live my life but there are Alot of caveman around here including most police and courts that being said thank you for spelling it out for those who need it spelled out. You are amazing and I just subscribed thank you again
These anti-drag laws violate the 1st amendment.
The terrifying thing is... they know that. Nathan Dahm outright agreed with that, and claimed that some amendments need to be stifled to "protect the children."
Fucking animals.
Yeah.
Really ruling that club and bar show don't have their place in middle school it's against 1st amendment? Should we get strippers too to be perfectly on point with this understanding of yours of the amendment?
@@romeodeborneo Why does it matter that drag queens are reading stories to children? They're not even sexual stories. They're about acceptance or just classics like "Cinderella" and "goldilocks and the three bears"
@Romartins false equivalency is false. Drag queens are not strippers. Especially not at drag story hour. It's called free speech and freedom of expression. A performance is a form of speech. They are not sexualizing children, that'd be clergy members, family members and close friends of the family you're thinking of.
I'm a 65 year old gay man. I've never done drag. But, people like me, thank people like you for stepping up to show support when we know you don't have to.
New sub here. I am a fierce Mama of an LGBTQ adult child. Thank you for your sensitivity and kindness. You are the sort of person I will support.
The dressing room part at the end hit so hard.
I still remember the first time a friend took me dress shopping, I was so excited. But then I realized to actually test if it fits I'd need to use the dressing room, and I became utterly paralyzed standing outside the doorway to the rooms, dress in hand, not knowing if it would be safe to ask to go in. Not even to mention the whole feeling pressured to just smile and nod when the cashier asked if I was "buying my girlfriend a gift". Suffice to say it turned a magically moment into one of fear and worry in a matter of seconds, and that is feeling that I wish was less common for myself and other trans and GNC folks in my shoes.
I am so sad anyone has to worry about that judgment.
In 1993 I was shoe shopping with a friend who was early in her transition. As we were trying to find her some women's dress shoes, someone took it upon themselves to inform us that men's shoes were 'over there'. We had not asked for her help, she just made the whole process that much more awkward and challenging. *sigh*
When I lived in Wyoming in 2018, I knew a nonbinary person who only felt comfortable going to a restaurant if there were gender-neutral restrooms - so rarely went out to eat. I think when planning a group event, we usually tried to pick such restaurants so they could join us, but I may be giving us more credit than we earned.
I'm a trans woman that lives in North Carolina and it's definitely difficult sometimes. I've been called a pedophile and groomer just for posting a tiktok of myself before and after starting my transition. I use the womens bathroom because I am mostly passing and the thought of using the mens bathroom in the area I live genuinely scares me (Though I'm 6' tall so I don't think most people would pick a fight with me). Just today at work my coworker was telling me that she was walking out of the bathroom and a little girl asked her to help her wash her hands so she did. If that was me I would have two options: tell the girl no and just leave without her being able to wash her hands or help her and risk being accused of grooming or pedophelia. These are the kind of situations trans people live with on a DAILY basis. No one else deals with a lot of the issues we do and I think it's hard for a lot of people to understand how taxing and dehumanizing it is. Society makes us feel like we're bad people just for existing, just because we want to be happy like everyone else has the opportunity to be.
As a long time fan of yours and a trans woman I absolutely love how you ended this video ❤️🌈🏳️⚧️
But RUclips is all about censorship. Noticed all the extra ads lately?
You better not DARE say anything about them. The google is so EVIL these days.
Right
Lolz
5:36 in future you can also mention Albert Cashier. He is the oldest documented transman 8 I know. He fought in the Civil War. Many women dressed up as men to fight on both sides of the Civil War, but most women went back to being a woman after the war. He continued to be a man until he got dementia.
As a former Tennessean, I appreciate this 100%. I live in Colorado now and I will never return TN, not even to visit. It's waaaay too oppressive now.
@stevehofstetter, your closing statement about buying a dress really hit me in the feels so hard and cried!! Because I’ve been doing it my whole life since I was a child. Always in the constant of fear. 😭😭
Thank you very much for sharing our experiences through yours! ❤❤
Good sir, never doubt that you did indeed do, "something." In fact, you did the best thing, which was _your_ thing, and you encouraged others to do their own thing as well. It may not be the kind of something that changes the world on its own, but it's a powerful start and I thank you for that! 👍
It's beautiful that you realized something that you never could have if you had not literally tried to walk in someone else's shoes❤️ when we have those moments we should share them, especially to those who only walk in their own shoes.
This is why I love Steve he’s just… amazing
Just wanted to say the MOMENT I saw you were doing this, I loved the message, seeing the closing statement was powerful, would love for Tennesse's lawmakers to see this and the impact their sexism has!
love it. perfect set, zero notes. hilarious, clear, informed, and kind. world needs more of this, people stepping up for each other. major respect
Thank you for making the statement many of us want to make!
Thank you. This was funny and the ending was so touching and real. Thank you Steve. When you're in Houston you have earned yourself another ticket