19 Frustrating Misconceptions about Autism
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- Опубликовано: 11 окт 2024
- In this video I'm sharing 19 frustrating misconceptions about autism that we need to stop spreading. These are harmful beliefs that perpetuate shame and invalidation within our community. Please share this video with people in your life who are open to learning more about ways to support us! Scroll down for timestamps. ⬇️
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⏰ TIMESTAMPS
0:42 We lack empathy
1:31 We are antisocial
1:59 We are incompetent or lazy
2:24 We are inflexible
2:54 Autism affects our intelligence
3:33 We don’t have a sense of humor
4:16 We can’t be sarcastic or don’t understand sarcasm
4:45 We are unable to make eye contact
5:20 We are unable to have friends
5:40 Burnout = Depression
6:09 Self diagnosis is invalid
6:40 Autism is caused by vaccines
6:59 Masking isn’t damaging
7:25 Stimming is attention-seeking
7:47 We are violent, uncontrollable or dangerous
8:15 We are self-centered or narcissistic
9:20 We’re all a little autistic
9:47 We’re just quiet/shy/introverted
10:22 We’re too sensitive or over-reactive
DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, RUclips Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, RUclips channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
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You are a beautiful person worthy of love!
#latediagnosedautistic #momonthespectrum #autisticadult
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Always being told I'm too sensitive, often while being gaslighted.
That rings little bells for me. I think perhaps people are keen on trying to tell autistic people what they "ought" to feel and that, of course, often involves gaslighting.
@@PaulaRoederer being that I have both autism and CPTSD, I’ve been told this. I’ve even been mocked, slapped, or laughed for expressing my emotions. So now I just bottle it up and I listen to what society says. Society says you’re not allowed to have CPTSD flashbacks and that you just need to get over it. And I do aggree to some extant, we do have to get over the abuse and trauma we suffered, but sometimes it does take awhile.
This one had me in tears. I am 59 and autism wasn’t hardly diagnosed when I was ac child and it definitely wasn’t ever considered for girls. This list resonates with me. And #19 is so true! I have heard that crap me entire life about being too sensitive, but on the other hand I get praise for being so understanding and caring. Didn’t it ever occur to anyone that I couldn’t be understanding and caring without being sensitive to myself and those around me?
I got the double standard: if my feelings were hurt, I was labeled too sensitive; if someone else felt hurt after I said something; I was labeled thoughtless or mean.
Edit: We’re about the same age! I turn 59 in February!
"50 y.o. Recently Self-Discovered High-Masking Autistic Female" checking in. 🤗
I understand your experience, as I'm from the same era: Autism was barely recognized, and only as applicable to boys. Hence, my lifelong struggle to fit in or keep up with "normal" expectations.
I had tried ignoring RUclips's continuous prodding to watch videos by Autistic contributors, until there was one title I couldn't ignore. What a life changing experience -- to actually feel understood for once in my life! I was so ... happy, ecstatic, appreciative, grateful, validated -- there is no single word for the flood of emotions in that moment ... that I cried a flood of happy tears and used up several tissues over an hour after watching that video. (Lol... I'm tearing up now, just thinking about that day.)
As someone who has autism, complex, PTSD, and is completely blind, I’ve been told a lot of these things. That I was dangerous. That I was violent. That I was too sensitive. That I’m just seeking attention. Especially when it comes to showing my emotions. Believe me. I relate to this video 100%!
Thanks, Tay. I wouldn't be any other way. I'm 76, self-identified, and have autistic kids and grandkids. I wouldn't go to a gp unless my life depended on it. You are one of the most amazing humans on the planet. We are bloody terrific. LET'S TALK BIG.
I've been called too sensitive by a few with the extreme irony that my tolerance was actually much higher than theirs, I just cared more and was more motivated to act than they were. Some people on the spectrum can be quite assertive and motivated by truth or for the good of a group.
@@Peter_S_ you’re not wrong. This is spot on.
When you said autistic burnout is often misdiagnosed as depression, I shed a tear.
On the roads we see "Think Bike" signs - to remind drivers to watch out for motorbikes, so they don't become invisible and come to harm.
Maybe we need "Think Autistic" signs in consulting rooms too.
@a_tist my therapist and doctor "You have depression and anxiety" while I show signs of being an introvert and struggling to be social... Like, bruh, I'm not Sherlock Holmes, but I'm seeing some distinct patterns here.
A note on the empathy thing. A lot of us show empathy anecdotally. If it sounds like someone that's autistic sounds like they're making the conversation all about them, they are probably sharing empathy.
@@NicholasDunnAutistic Yes!!!
I have read that it's *acting* empathy autistic people struggle with, which imo makes sense.
What better way to explain to someone that you understand what they are feeling by telling your own similar story? Why can’t people understand that?
Sharing my similar story = "Yes, I can understand how you felt when [your story]"
And trying to one-up you, because Life is not a competitive sport.
Unfortunately, for people whose every thought and motivation revolves around their perceived place in their social heirarchy, it is a competition, and some of them cannot fathom anyone else seeing things in a different way.
I feel great now. I am now better informed about myself. I'm crying happily. Thank you.
As an autistic person, I can make eye contact (direct) all day. Of course, I will pay heavily for it later bc it literally steals my energy-keeping up the mask that long is exhausting. I’ll need a lot of recovery time. I can do nearly anything allistic folks can. The question is, can I afford it?
"The question is ..."
🤗❤️🩹
... if doing so means that I have to give 125% of my energy now, will I have anything left for the rest of today?... and what about needing energy for tomorrow?
🎯
Doctor: You have friends, you can't be autistic!
Me: Autistic people make great friends. And enemies. Guess which one I am right now.
Taylor! I really like the way you speak in this video, it's so passionate! This is so important to make people understand, we'll never stop talking about it!
Thank you for your comment and for sharing this with me! Glad you enjoyed the video.
'Over-thinker' - personally, I could argue that many people are under-thinkers.
Looking for the double-thumbs up button for this comment!:)
I mean, most of them are, really. I don’t mean that as an insult, but it’s an observation that I bet most of us have had. I think most people don’t have the processing resources to think more, or they just haven’t developed the ability because life hasn’t taught them that it’s necessary. I feel almost like most people get by with an inadequate amount of thinking similarly to how something like ChatGPT seems really smart 98% of the time, but then sometimes it gets something wrong and it gets it so wrong that it’s impossible not to see it and it’s like pulling teeth to try to work around it.
I love the term under thinker. I often envied others because I think so thoroughly before deciding and they are so fast in deciding but well sometimes the fast decision can be a bad one.
@@borderedge6465 I’m an overthinker. But to the point where I feel the need to mask to fit in and please society. I feel like I’m not allowed to use my accommodations because people are going to judge me for that, so I need to not use them so that way I don’t get judged. I feel like I have to listen to society and do what they say and do, not what I want, but what they want.
@@flotenstimme4608 you are right. It’s good to look at the decision before making it.
The eye contact thing is frustrating. I can make eye contact but if I'm trying to process a thought it is often difficult for me to make eye contact otherwise I can be thrown off. It is also a matter of familiarity. I have less difficulty with people I am extremely close. There are varying degrees of eye contact. It isn't on/off, black/white... it is a spectrum with everything that is autistic traits.
Same!!!! The more difficult the conversation, the more difficult the eye contact becomes.
Yeah, I agree. I can make eye contact just fine, but it drastically increases the chances that I won’t be able to hear the words you’re saying to me. I’ll still hear the noises coming out of your mouth, but there’s a really good chance that a significant amount of those sounds won’t be turned into words when I hear them. I describe it as similar to how the adults sound when they’re talking in The Peanuts cartoons where it’s just “womp womp womp womp”. There’s definitely noises, but I can’t tell you what words they were.
@@BuckeBoo I don’t make eye contact, mainly because I’m completely blind.
Sarcasm is an interesting quality to presume we lack; I find a lot of neurotypical/ableist sarcasm offputting because it punches down, whereas I (AuDHD) am often criticized for being sarcastic because I can't resist punching UP - it's how I call out the discriminating and ignorant bullsh*t of privilege.
On a related note, I would also add solution dismissal to the list: I am constantly amazed that people will ignore and/or dismiss an autistic's suggested solution (or even just pointing out a problem) because they can't see how all the dots connect. For some reason people take their incomprehension as a cue to project their shortcomings and presume we're wrong rather than doing the thinkwork to see why we're right.🤦
Yes! I love how the worded the second part. I’ve noticed this as well but haven’t been able to put it into words.
"Solution dismissal" - genius! I read that and recognized something I had never understood! Thanks for putting this into words. I am grateful❤
"Solution dismissal" - yes, I just have to give them a couple of years or so and they do come around to my way of thinking!
What’s so annoying about the solution dismissal thing is that as soon as some other neurotypical person finally comes around to saying the same thing, all of a sudden it’s the most brilliant idea anyone has ever had, but you can’t point that out to anyone because they’ll just accuse you of having sour grapes or trying to undermine the person or something. Like, I really don’t care as long as there’s a solution finally being put in place, but why do we keep having to just wait and wait instead of listening with actual listening and then just working on the solution together? I swear that there are two dictionaries and autistic people use one and neurotypical people use the other one and a lot of the words just don’t mean the same things between the two groups, so you can have two people say exactly the same thing, but one group will always hear them as two different and unrelated things.
From what I've seen on various channels, I think self-diagnosis is universal.
The normal sequence seems to be exposure to the idea of autism, study to understand autism and whether it applies to the person seeking answers, then fighting the doctor to consider a diagnosis of autism.
The tubers seem to have all known they were autistic before they sought a diagnosis. I can't think of one who walked into the doctors office and was surprised to hear that their problems were caused by autism.
In the USA, self-diagnosis is all many of us can afford. Not necessarily better in other countries.
100% have always always always been called too sensitive! Work, home, play, etc.
Yes to this as well!
I've been told many times I'm too sensitive, too shy, to introverted, too figity, too logical, too literal ...
Yep, me too. 😬
Same here. It's taken a lot of work in therapy to undo the damage, but I'm done listening to those people. They seem to have a habit of invalidating and minimizing the experiences of others when what is said isn't convenient for them. I avoid being around people who behave that way.
@@dahlia695 right, too literal?! What am I supposed to think of what people are saying when they aren't saying it. Bladfgdhhsrjbr
Being funny but making people question if you knew you were being funny is the best. You get to be funny to yourself and other people with what you said, and then you get to be funny to yourself again by having a little secret joke in your head.
🤓
I definitely throw out deadpan jokes from time to time and people don't have a clue whether or not I'm joking or whether I'm being sarcastic or...
We, autistics, lack nuronominal false (conman) empathy.
Your list is pretty spot on.
I have learned to cope with the nuronominal defect in society by acknowledging their incompetencies - :)
This. Is. So. On. Point!!!!
As far back as I can remember into my childhood, I have always been told I’m too sensitive. It had only ever frustrated me further…
I would say autistic empathy isn't limited.. it's our lack of empathic limits that befuddles NTs. .. the range of empathic experience can be so broad, could include animals (of course), plants, or even machines, musical instruments, historical events, buildings, weather, stars, .. I'm of the belief 'special interests' are in fact empathic drives.
Yessss #6. Digital-first has helped make the jokes more apparent. There’s a couple from months or even years back that teammates will pull back out now from remembering how funny they were. It also helps if there’s a crew around that understands the jokes better (shoutout to a couple brilliant ADHD friends in particular!) and can listen for the words through the deadpan. Arrested Development is a masterclass in autistic joke delivery!
YES I LOVE ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
In my opinion, autistic people have a better sense of humor than allistic people. When an allistic person says that we don't have a sense of humor, what they really mean is that they don't understand the way that we think.
Exactly!! 👏
The reminds me of how I'd see the humor in what my dad was saying when my siblings didn't, or how my soon-to-be-diagnosed friend would often bring up totally random things and explain how he thought they were funny.
@@FranimusI absolutely hate stupid humor. I don’t find it funny at all. It’s insulting and boring. Now I understand why. I prefer jokes that apply to real life and that make fun of things that don’t hurt others.
Thank you so much for all you do to help us learn about ourselves and to dispel misconceptions like this! I have already learned so much from your videos, most importantly to be compassionate and accommodating to myself instead of telling myself that I'm "too sensitive" as I've heard forever.
I recently had a really interesting experience challenging my fear of these misconceptions when I had to go to the ER. I hate going there due to past trauma and often avoid it. I was in so much pain that masking was not possible. I was basically having a full on meltdown when I got there and feared the environment would worsen it. I let myself engage in big stims, asked for lights to be off, extra time preparing for needle sticks, etc. And everyone was super respectful and accepting of it! I don't think I could've handled the pain and overwhelm if I hadn't let myself do those things. I was afraid they would think I was being dramatic. I have to wonder if I had masked if they might have missed my appendicitis or at least taken longer to find it, which could have lead to it rupturing. This was the first time I felt doctors actually saw the distress I was in and understood how serious it was. Usually they think I'm fine even though I tell them I'm not. It was nice to feel in the same reality as them.
I don't know that I would've thought to do these things or been so accepting of myself if not for you. So thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing this with me! 🥹
According to my family, every time I’m struggling it’s because I’m anxious. Not because I’m autistic
The charge that we are oversensitive is not constructive criticism, it is passive aggressive bullying. It is intended to marginalize us, not help us "fit in." As for being an anti-social loner, I am not anti-social, just asocial. I don't hate people, but I avoid them, because in my nearly 80 years, not many neurotypical people have ever reached out to me. For years, the only time my phone ever rang, it was someone who wanted something from me It is true that I am a loner. Society has taught me that it is safer. I prefer my own company because I can trust it. I have become content with being avoided because I am different. Fortunately, I have wide ranging interests that keep me fully occupied and I rarely notice being by myself.
You sound so much like my aunt, who we have discovered was our family’s scapegoat and then I became one too. She and I are so much alike, think alike, and have a BS meter. We didn’t keep family secrets and were willing to call that mess out and we were treated badly due to that. It’s enough to force one to isolate, because it’s so much safer.
However, I have found so much healing in pursuing a relationship with her and she says it has helped her as well. So don’t over isolate. We need human interaction.
Good reminders. Thanks. Feeling better now.
Definitely one of your best ever videos . . . proud to be a Member.
Oh thank you so much! And I'm so glad you're part of the community.
The misconception that when we ask for an accommodation such as noise reducing earbuds, it’s because we don’t want to hear what’s going on. No! We take in 44% more data than neurotypical and we need this accommodation to put our input on a par with others
I had to do two 45 minute video pre-evaluations recently, and after the 1st one, the evaluator, a psychologist, basically said she didn't think I was autistic because I have friends, made eye contact, and had a rather easy conversation with her. I brought a list to the second pre-eval explaining how, while sitting in my room (the most relaxing place for me), talking to one singular person, while swiveling in my chair and playing with my fidget during what was essentially a buisness video call, is different for me than other social situations and conversations in a non-safe place. I have an actual evaluation in 6 months. Like, people really have these misconceptions, even trained professionals.
I would get the "You're too much!" all the time when I was younger (back in the 60's and 70's), when girls were taught it's not good to "make waves." Ha. Sorry. AuDhd here, with PDA and oh, yeah, psychic abilities added into the mix. I got that "too much" so often, it's not funny. I am funny myself, though, and was raised in a household that valued humor. My childhood heroes growing up were Jane Austen, Oscar Wilde, and Dorothy Parker, all witty people. I would ask myself, "What would Jane/Oscar/Miss Parker say?" when anyone sneered and said, "You're *weird*!" I just told my my older biological half-sister today (I'm adopted) that when a snotty girl next door said that, I looked down my nose at her and said, "Better weird, than *boring*!" and turned and walked away. Loved having the last word! This was such a great video, and yes, I'm self-diagnosed. I've had such a long life of coping; at 64 I have a Ph.D in masking, so I doubt anyone would say I"m autistic, but I *know*. I've read so much already and looked at old report cards my mom had saved, and yes, the clues & evidence are all there. Just so nice to know I wasn't a bad person. Just a different person. I can look back at all of my struggles, and i have so much love an compassion for my younger self. Thanks for your video, and thanks to anyone who read this to the end. If you shrugged and said, "TL; DR" I won't hold it against you. Peace!
Confusing empathy, with sympathy, should’ve be added to your list.
@@j.b.4340 I’m not a huge synpathy seeker. If I’m dysregulated, I want judgment, because that’s what I need in that moment. I need to be criticized for feeling dysregulated, not sympaathy. And I need to listen to the judgment and criticism and shame in order to grow. And that’s what society wants from me, is to grow. And I want to grow too.
TY for this -- Have some new friends just beginning their own self-discoveries and have shared this with them. Really helpful for the imposter syndrome that many late dx go through. 💜
"Autistic people are not quite all there..." Love that one [SEE I used sarcasm!]
I’m usually not all there. I’m mostly here….inside my head.
I can make eye contact, but it heavily depends on the situation. The more confident or comfortable I am, the better my eye contact is.
I think another one is “we tend to be blunt.” A lot of us are (and sometimes I am), but I don’t think it necessarily is the default mode of communication. I’ve known several people who describe themselves as blunt, but aren’t autistic; they’re assholes who use “blunt” as an excuse.
@@NeuroDiv_Skunk8785 YES, YES, YES! You are so spot on with this comment! I’m very blunt. Some people see my bluntness as judgmental. And sometimes, maybe I am, and I apologize for that. My goal is not to be a judgmental asshole, but rather, to tell people the harsh truth without sugarcoating it.
I usually mask this, but occasionally it slips out. I’d rather have someone who gives unvarnished truth than deal with a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
these are so true! im glad you are raising awareness on autism
i believe it will help feeel better around us
Misconception: not aware of the world around us.
My Psychologist said because I identified 4 friends in High School, I couldn't be autistic despite answering a dozen other questions negatively. He then said I may have "sprinklings" of autism only...
I have been on the receiving side of all of these misconceptions, over and over. I'm currently awaiting the results of my autism assessment and I'm terrified the psych will say I'm not autistic and brush my concerns off. 😕
Trust your experience! Even licensed professionals can’t truly know what your day-to-day is like. And many are not up-to-date with a current understanding of how autism presents. You’ve got this!
@@MomontheSpectrum
I had a formal diagnosis during what has been a couple years of burnout .
I’m still struggling with isolation and sitting here on my day-to-day seeking connection with others with my current circumstances .
I very much need support and would like to be able to have somebody to chat with such as peers help me even understand myself .
My family doesn’t get it and I live with them and I don’t know where to go as an unemployed person who’s been seeking employment for many years trying to provide a roof over mine and my adult sons head .
I need out of the house yet I’m terrified to leave sometimes or don’t have mobility or transportation or funding.
I’m looking for growing the sunflower power movement around botanical culinary, and musical steamable pieces / peaces.
Advocacy and activism play and work
I would like to have little demonstration stations to bridge gaps between the communities that display exhibition and self exhibition, bits, including even the sunflower lanyards
If people say "Everyone's a little autistic," I don't tend to immediately take that as invalidation. I tend to consider it as something more likely to be said by undiagnosed autistic people who don't realize that they ARE autistic. If someone says "Everyone's a little autistic," I respond with "What are your autistic traits?" because I might be able to let someone know that they may actually BE autistic.
Have been considered too sensitive since before kindergarten
the way someone would think I don't have autism due to the eye contact thing is that I've learned how to defocus my vision at will so when I look at someone their face in the eye region becomes more of a blur instead of a uniform structure
I do the same 😅
i'm social when I drive my bus full of passengers, it drives me B-A-N-A-N-A-S when my bus is empty when there is supposed to be passengers.
This was a really comprehensive list and explanation, very succinctly explained. If only this could be broadcast to everyone.
Shy, aloof, too sensitive… Check!
It’s funny how three years after being diagnosed I still realize how things from my past suddenly make sense in the context of autism. A psych literally diagnosed me as not having depression but “being in a depressed episode” ((loosely translated from German)) - yeah that was autistic burnout.
Or how I found myself coming across indigo children, and HSP (highly sensitive person) in my quest to understanding myself. Ugh 🥺
A roommate here likes to say that autosm is like stuttering and we should hide it.
I took the Aspie-Quiz online and it pegged me as having a 98% probability of being autistic/neurodivergent. I believe it. The only way I can “pass” as neurotypical (neuromundane?) on the major online tests is to *LIE* on most of the items.
My mother chronically berated me as selfish, too sensitive and o***reacting. My research suggests that she had narcissistic personality disorder. Gee, an autistic child with a narcissistic parent-a hellish combination!
You are not alone. My mother was a narcissist and an emotional abuser. I am so sorry you had to go through that. It’s very painful and difficult to navigate.
Thank you for the kind words. 🙂
I relate Soo much to #10. I had no idea I was experiencing autistic burnout until about a month ago...Dr says I'm depressed...I tell them no it's different. I don't know how to get them to listen and don't know how to explain it to them.
Maybe I can help you explain it. It’s like every nerve ending in our body is on high alert after social interactions or days when we are in public a lot. This takes an incredible amount of energy so that evening or the next day, we are exhausted, irritable, and sometimes in physical pain. So when we get home, we need time to wind down, relax, and re-energize ourselves. That requires downtime away from noises, bright lights, and lots of interaction with others.
It’s because our nervous systems are far more active and on alert than neurotypical individuals.
#11! Thank you for validating self diagnosis! My GF suggested I test for autism a couple years ago when I was 49. I can’t spend that sort of money for a diagnosis, but if the various AQ tests are to be believed, I score 46 to 48 out of 50, or highly likely. Plus I identify with about 90% of the descriptions given on channels like yours. So again, I don’t have an official diagnosis, but I truly think I am.
#16: I wouldn't say that we're not self-centered, but problematic levels of self-centeredness are a general human problem, not an issue specific to autism.
As for narcissism, I have noticed that a decent of autistic RUclipsrs tend to talk about having narcissistic parents, and I wonder how often that actually means "autistic, undiagnosed, and dysregulated".
Yes. I have a straight face sense of humor.
100% shared exp of the list but not too sensitive in the face before I stopped masking, only now (late diagnosed). I'm just now realising how hard I masked the sensitive reaction all 33 years before (not counting the first ten years)! I practically self-violated to mask it, sometimes I went into another room and hit my head against a wall. looking back I can't believe it, but i just didn't know. very helpful that you shared this, because it's such a new experience for me in my age to be called sensitive, when I used to be known as the hard-ass who faces down everything...
Hi Tay, I can relate to most of these misconceptions.
The fact that people say that Autistic people or people on the spectrum is not true!! We have a Ghostbuster in our club for crying out!!! The first one really hits me because in my case, I feel things very intensely and I’ve been told that I’m too sensitive. Don’t even get me started on the Burnout; People in the past have invalidated my experience by telling me that I just need to cheer up and get on with it. I am currently going my third Major Autistic Burnout of my life. The first one I went through when I was 19/20 years old when I was in my undergrad, The second one I went through after my dad died and I want to say that it lasted like three years. This one it’s been about a year since I started going this last Autistic Burnout and this one’s pretty tough as a result of some family issues
Hi Taylor, 19 yes, totally relate to that! For 17 I have to admit that I said that too. Instead of feeling invalidated, maybe react with "well if that's what you think, you might want to get a diagnosis yourself. Because it's not as common as you think."
After a few years and getting more information on Autism, I'm very much suspecting myself of being Autistic. (at the age of 52, so probably masking af) If anyone in my past would've advised me to go and get a diagnosis, it might have saved me from some struggles.
And so we reached the self diagnosis, I'm glad it's valid. It helped me being so much kinder to myself.
For example, there is a big party today and I allowed myself to say that they shouldn't count on me. That I might drop in for a second but if it's overwhelming, I leave.
I'd never thought of saying something like that before. Before I'd just show up and stay until the end. Needing two days of recovery afterwards.
So, thank you and Emma for opening my eyes and allowing me to admit that the family inheritance has always been a part of me as well 😂❤
Greetings from The Netherlands
I feel like your video's are getting feistier every time and I am here for it! Yas!
"Overdramatic" is a word my mom used to describe me when I was growing up.
Great video, thanks! And #12 just... wow, seriously? 😂
#6. Yup. Fully agree.
All 19. Yep. All of ‘em.
I will look directly between their eyebrows, then I don't have to think about which eye to look at.
I don't like looking in eyes, too the point that I would struggle to tell you what color eyes my kids have. It's just not something I do. I don't even like looking at my own eyes in the mirror. So I don't very often, I can go weeks without looking in a mirror.
I don't like looking too closely at eyes. They are too vulnerable.
Misconception number 20: We are not the best
Hehehehehehe
Point by point this is looking me back at myself from age 58 (diagnosis) up til now age 66. Quite the learning curve.
Two things I've observed over the years are these: the most basic thing is getting a grip on the always too abundant stream of information/impulses. The next thing, coming out of the first one, a lot of these socalled "autistic trade marks"? Survival/coping behavior in an environment where you're not understood (from birth up till now) and... where you also had to discover and learn to understand your own neuro-atypical inclination. Furthermore, I observed all of these trades in myself and other autistic people on and off, some have, some don't, mostly at a certain degree. But what we had all in comon? The need to switch off when we were overloaded with information/stimulation. Which very often came abrupt mostly at a moment you didn't want it to.
My sense of humor is quite different from neurotypicals in that I will say or do something that is completely out of character from who I am just to see if I could get a rise out of someone. Those who've known me long enough eventually figure that out, and then they are in on the joke too. Those who haven't figured me out yet are looking around like "what's so funny?" making it even funnier.
I relate to this so much. I've been really sick for about 2 months now. I'm so worn out.
Yes.......to all of this, yes...........I am an extrovert, but there are many factors that lead into whether or not I want to socialize with someone. I have friends, but I have them in groups. My friend friends/close friends is a group of 3. Who live a considerable distance from me. With sarcasm, I can use it fine. But when it comes to interpretation, I only know if someone is being sarcastic if I know them really well, and know the tone they use when they're being sarcastic. If I don't know the person really well, I'll interpret it wrong. The attention-seeking/self-centered parts..........unfortunately my brain yells them at me CONSTANTLY.........my friends always say I'm not, but my brain yells louder...........still working on that one............and yes, I've been told I'm too sensitive/I need to toughen up all my life.
Sarcasm fluent here! I get it from my daddy😊
#15: I think the perception of violence comes more from meltdowns than from stimming. To someone that doesn't know what they are, they can look pretty terrifying (depending on exactly how the individual in question melts down).
There's a nonverbal autistic woman of my acquaintance that has a tendency to hit and bite herself during meltdowns and to grab anyone that comes in reach. She has enough physical issues that it's easy enough to stay out of reach, but put her meltdown style in my adult male, out-of-shape but otherwise able body, and the damage I could do would be a real concern even though I'm not inclined to violence when not melting down (and, in actuality, do not experience meltdowns).
I always make clever puns, playing with language, and my parents quite often just don’t get the joke.
I've just told my mum I have been diagnosed level 1 autism and adhd and she was very invalidating and thinks I can't be autistic because I was a perfect student, liked socialising and had friends as a child (this fact already gives me massive impostor syndrome because it's the one trait I seemed to lack as a child and my social problems only became apparent when I started high school). I don't know if I even have the energy to try to educate her. What's worse is that she told me about all her own autistic traits as a child and how when she entered the workforce she learned to socialise and was perfectly fine. Whereas my issues have prevented me from holding a job and feeling suicidal whenever I do work, which she doesn't understand and thinks if I get adhd meds then I should be able to work again, not to mention I also suffer with chronic illness.
For number 2, for me, I like being around the right people 🥰 somehow the nasties seem to have a sixth sense for my neurodivergence ( AuDhd) and treat me really badly
I do have trouble with sarcasm depending on the person's tone and facial expressions. When its like straight faced and dry voiced I often take it seriously. I need it to be like, over-exaggerated to get it. But I myself am super sarcastic.
On the "all a little autistic one," I think that concept can be true... Except it only applies to cats. Cats in general have some of the most autistic traits ever, makes it so much easier for me to understand them. My boys have all the same quirks I do and its nice
Regarding humor, I have a tendency to tell jokes completely deadpan.
Too sensitive and over think everything...I hate being told either. BTW, the University of Washington Autism Center supports carefully considered self diagnosis
and about the antisocial myth I would suggest to NT folk to ask yourself how eager you are to hang out with people who dislike and judge you and make you feel "wrong" or inadequate , people you have little to nothing in common and that usually talk about things you don't know or care and expect from you things you don't understand or make sense. Added that the act of meet them is very tiresome and you have to act like someone else and even not follow 1 of their foreign unnatural rules can make them judge you or criticize you, imagine have to blink twice for every second it takes to to draw one breath and only make eye contact if that number is prime; now imagine have to also pay attention to a chat you don't care about and look relaxed and happy while doing it. I bet you would also become "antisocial". I bet autistic folk like me, are not specially and inherently anti/asocial it's just circumstantially so.
Thank you for clearing … phrases how many times moms make a n error in words ….
I used to work at a psychward, now i work at a rehabilitation center for trauma patients, to do this I need to be highly empathic, and to be highly social.. 😅 you fail to mentions that a lot of the most well know comedians are openly autist..
Most of these misconceptions are from the theory behind ABA..
My question/ problem is how to distinguish between A " I am self diagnosing and there's truely something up " and B "I might be insensitive thinking because of this similarity I can relate to autism while it is not true for my case"
I hope it makes sense. And maybe somebody has a suggestion?
Why does no one on these autism videos ever put time stamps so I don't have to listen to the video?
I agree with each of your pounts!
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Such a "yes" to #19. The world has no idea how much an autistic person is inwardly, invisibly reacting to, recoiling at, "perplexing" over, scrambling to decode, and struggling over what to exclude and what to zero in on. All in an intensely private, exhausting ordeal totally hidden from the world.
And then, finally, when, say, somebody who insists on tossing sarcasms, hyperbole and histrionics around every day produces a whopper that seems to directly and immediately impinge on you, to bode ill or threaten immediate deregulation/overload, you can't suppress your survival instinct, you MUST break through the miasma for definition: "Really? You mean that?"
And that is when...yet again (oh when will I ever learn)...you feel the fool all over again. The other person roars with laughter: "What? Nooo, of course not, ha, ha! Can't you tell a joke when you hear it? You're much too sensitive."
Without really knowing why, as I only discovered my autism at 65, I was for many years gradually winnowing my circle of friends and acquaintances, walking away from people who were "bad for me," though I couldn't name exactly why they were bad for me. I just knew that their imperious emotional demands, to be their validating sounding board, their audience, even their grateful "patient" dependent on THEM (!),, acted on me psycho-viscerally like a compactor on a watermelon. And that they didn't care. They liked what my presence in their life did for them, but didn't care at all what it was costing me.
That's the type generally the first to tell you, "you're too sensitive."
To which the answer is: walk away.