Same here~~ University is HELL for me. I mean school arent good as well. But for sure I remember University is HELL~~ I just want to get out of there ASAP!!
@@sarah3412 I am very high in Openness to Experience, high in Neuroticism and low in Conscientiousness. A bad combo for performance in school. To make it even better, I chose Business Administration and that might have been one of the least suited studies for me that I could’ve chosen. I’m creative, unreliable and easily distracted. Those are the exact opposite three personality traits you need to do well in what I chose. I hope you will get out of school soon and can start life again properly
@@nirtheart thanks. I already graduated like 5 years ago. I mean at that moment I just wanna get out of there ASAP. Sorry if my English sucked. I'm not an English speaker. I'm not sure what I am. But what I know I'm sucked with social skills. Which I got into the famous course in the university. Everyone are scream loud attention and socially attention vs. me such a person who are doesn't have social cue, go by rules and shit~~
Most are glad to accept money from anyone who will give it to them. The things you listed are equally as unimportant to those institutes against anyone who cannot afford to enter or remain within those systems. You don't need any college to learn whatever you want nor to find like-minded people with similar interests or ideals. Whatever you choose, I hope you find what you seek.
The title kinda scares me. I'm in university right now and yes, the support I've gotten so far has been great! And it's just going downhill from here? I don't have much of a support system outside of my university, so I've got no idea where to find support after I'm finished.
There's hope! I also had a fantastic time in university. And yes, when I finished I went into a full-blown depression for about a year, where I had no idea how to move on next. But with the help of family giving me a nudge in the right direction, and short-term medication, I got back on track, and have had phases in life that are perhaps not as idyllic but have been have been even better overall (e.g., more fulfilling) than my uni years. So there might be a bumpy patch (or you might be lucky and miss it), but it's not forever. Also, be gentle on yourself. I don't think I could have handled going straight from uni to a full time career job + own place + relationship, etc. so I think I actually really needed a year to live at home and do mundane work and just kind of figure things out. (Then when I was ready, I was REALLY ready and moved across the world!)
I think they could have been, for me - if I engaged with my courses. Unfortunately at some point half way through my first year I discovered there were no consequences for not turning up, and at that point I retreated heavily with some stupid online game (MUDs in the day they were called). The other thing which was crucial was the courses themselves, they were not challenging enough - I studied computer science and I was already a competent programmer. Second and third year in particular were very easy as a result, either very easy or topics I didn't care about. Eventually I did 4th year and masters, finally finding some interesting topics and challenges, but only barely was allowed in because I had such a mixed bag of results. One of the biggest obstacles I faced was sustaining enough motivation to do several courses at once, when I usually was more interested in something else or only one of the courses.
I can really relate to your feelings and experiences because I had a similar problem during my school time. I'm happy that I finally graduated from school this week. I will start to study Computer Science for Public administration. The name of my study subject at the university in Germany translated to the English language is probably Computer science/ IT Management for public administration.
I had trouble getting support at uni, I didn't realize how bad my depression was, which cut into my success. At least at my high school there were also arts to help me cope, but in uni I didn't have time for activities that used to help me
I haven't had that same experience nor did I finished my career (yet). I put it on hold, the worst part for me was ... that on the U my parents treat me like trash because I wasn't keeping good scores or going on the same page compared to others, what I didn't knew at that time is that I was developing a worse case of depression (carried along since the High) and giving that on my country there's no College years, you just jump directly to the University once finished High School. The level of demand is not The step, it's The Wall. And giving the case that I never had good relationships, plus the abnormally high degradation on my country of origin (a communist party ruled by a donkey and a dogmatic culture towards kleptomania). Yes I say that I pretty wanted to jump of a bridge (at that time). But ended developing a tumor on my throat, that grow from a tiny inflammation near my throat, to a... holy shit it's strangling my throat, in less than 2 months. So my family outside the country managed to help us over here, which ended in surgery. But before that day, on the clinic (the public hospitals were under equip and under supplied at that time 2019, go figure 2020) there was a span of 3 weeks before the day. I had all the pre-requirements for the doctor to actually proceed to surgery... So I said to myself, if it is cancer. I will tell to my parents (after recovery of surgery) that I won't take any treatment, no quimio, no radio, nothing. Just the time I had left I will do whatever I want with it, and be done with them, with everything. It turned out that the doctor said it was caused by an infection, no trace of neoplasm. I took my time to digest that. 2 chance. While I was on recovery, treatment for 6 months, against TBC. January 2020 I ended my treatment when I read the news of propagation, I decided to keep records of it. If it jumped from Asia it's going to F up even more the delicate situation over here... it did. Zero, that's the amount of Universities ready to make a good online education. And giving that our ISP is controlled by the state which it doesn't do a good service to begin with (more than half of the population doesn't have access to the internet) it's a Failed State. What guilty did I have to happen to born here just 2 years before Chavez took over the country with a Messiah message fueled by people with hatred towards their previous "democratic governments". Will the actual situation stop me? No, never again.
"Be like a rocky promontory against which the restless surf continually pounds; it stands fast while the churning sea is lulled to sleep at its feet. I hear you say, "How unlucky that this should happen to me!" Not at all! Say instead, "How lucky that I am not broken by what has happened and am not afraid of what is about to happen. The same blow might have struck anyone, but not many would have absorbed it without capitulation or complaint.”
Tbf I don't think your god would have had anything to do with it, while pretending people would need to believe in one to be good and helpful is plain insulting
@@lisajohnson1068 I'm not, I'm just accurate compared to the lack of self awareness of religious folks like you who apparently live submersed in a microcosm of make belief.
I'm at college right now and I absolutely agree! It's unfortunate that we don't have all the resources in the real world than we do at college, but hey, I'll do the best with what I got
University is and was the best and worst time of my life. On one hand I discovered the only subject I love which was awesome for me. But on the other hand, I suffered from extreme anxiety because I had to communicate with inconsiderate and mean professors. My love for my subject made me very intense about it and their hurtful comments made me suffer from such terrible anxiety and depression. I also had terrible grades and this made me have terrible imposter syndrome. To me university was like discovering the best drug ever and getting addicted while suffering from some very bad side effects of the drug. Now I'm lucky to have a great advisor in a PhD but I'm not sure I will continue to be this lucky in academia, since it's a place where so many professors with control over my future are mean and inconsiderate.
Academics can be very harsh, I am lucky that my supervisor(s) have been kind (though usually over-worked and not able to always give any useful supervision) - I've certainly felt quite intimidated by the environment on multiple occasions. I made it through the PhD situation eventually, but boy it was a struggle.
@@OliverBatchelor >usually over-worked and not able to always give any useful supervision That was my experience. Trying to get help from lecturers (particularly outside of lectures) was nigh-on impossible. :(
I am a NT but dating a guy who also graduated from Aerospace Engineering and I think he is an aspie too. Keep up your great work Paul! I enjoy listening to you very much!
Idk, I feel like I'm the opposite. I didn't know I was on the spectrum for over 2½ years after I dropped out of college. Highschool wasn't easy but I managed to stay in groups of friends who accepted me for the weirdo I was. The daily structure helped me form bonds with my classmates and friends, as well as keep up with the bare minimum of my homework (I never had to study cuz I'd remember everything the teacher said; I felt like homework was a complete waste of time). Once I got to university and had to solely handle the responsibilities of classes, work, dating, and other social responsibilities on an irregular schedule, my energy tanked and my depression hit one of its lowest points. I didn't know what was "wrong" with me and felt like getting help was stupid; I lied through all of the counselor meetings they forced me into cuz I thought it was stupid to force me into it. Too much, too fast I suppose. Funny you mentioned playing in the jazz band. I went into college as a percussion performance major with a pretty clear passion for jazz and desire to get great at it. Unfortunately, the curriculum for my degree was very strict and pre-determined, steering me away from jazz (I also didn't have a timeslot available to play with the top jazz band, which hurt a lot). By the time I left after a single year, my passion and love for the music had been sucked dry. I didn't play music for myself for almost 2 whole months after returning home. All that said, I'm really happy to hear your uni experience was so much more supported than mine and went very well. College just isn't the right move for some of us, no matter how much we want it.
how you describe uni is what high school was like for me after grade 10. my school was tiny and in one year pretty much all the "popular" kids transferred so somehow I ended up in the "cool" group of my 13 person grad class, I was playing in the community band, jazz band at a different school, had a job, took calculus for dual credit at the local university. now I'm going into my third year of uni in September and it's been rough especially with the pandemic. my uni is a top school in Canada and the ableism is strong in high achieving neurotypicals. I couldn't handle online classes because of executive dysfunction and sensory issues, I pretty much dropped out this past year. I also had a friend group drop me for no reason (that I could tell) in my first semester and that destroyed my confidence in social situations.
I was daunted by the immensity of Uni, and opted to attend College instead. I was capable...I couldn't handle so many people for a long period of time...online Uni appeals to me, just don't have the funds for it...
I completely agree! For me school was challenging in grade school and the worst in high school. In college I was able to choose how many credits I wanted to take, when I wanted to take classes, what I wanted to take, etc. It was nice having more control of my studies. I think I just needed my family and friends to check in on me a bit more (I was undiagnosed at that time so no one knew that was something I needed, even myself!)
I studied Art in higher education and I found that my autism made me very aware of my working space. Many people felt cut off but I felt tuned in. I had tried H.E. before but that course had turned out to be a barrier because there were too many locations. I think that the actual learning environment is key and how you can impose a pattern of routines onto it will allow you to relax. I think with the first course I wanted to to survive the noise and intensity and I retreated from it. The problem with retreat is that you eventually find yourself out of range of actually experiencing or learning anything. I think that every person with autism has a limit to the remoteness from their central interests that they cannot tolerate and when their attention becomes 'thin.' I made my second course very concentrated because I knew I wanted to be in one place, but I didn't mind that concentration, even though it lead to increased pressure from having a single aim across all modules. My second attempt at higher education provided the best years of my life.
Uni was a nightmare for me, on the 1st semesters I noticed I had severe anxiety and my depression came back, I had to leave for a while when I only had my thesis left to finish, thanks to my teacher who told me "you're too slow" (in a very... not nice way) I said, "ok, enough, i'm not willing to finish my final project just because I have to do it with a teacher who thinks i'm stupid and lazy which i'm not, i'm the opposite I just cannot give my info structure" so i'm currently having a break from that and thinking on changing my subject from burnout to adult autism awareness but as I have to make a product or an app or system I don't know... I study Industrial Design but i'm very interested in psychology and i'm also on the spectrum so I really want to spread the word and educate others fto be more understanding, but idk, still thinking about it. High School was my best years because I finally had a rest and felt real freedom and I made a lot of nice friends who I still love very much.
I'm in my second year of university but I'd say I'm having a harder time. High school was better for me because I could just automatically make friends with people in my classes and I had a good friend group. I started university during the covid pandemic, so my first year I almost made no friends at all and I was frustrated and lonely. My second year the restrictions were less so I decided to join more clubs, but I felt that I have not been able to really make any friends there. It's as if we just participate in the weekly meetings, but afterwards people just go home and don't hangout with each other, so I'm alone most of the time. Also I moved to an off fampus residence my second year, which has been really nice living in my own house with roommates. However, its been hard managing things like cooking, cleaning, etc. I'm planning to try my next semester a bit differently and hopefully it'll go better.
I pushed myself to go to Uni. Within 1 week it had been pointed out to me that I was 'socially retarded'. not much help when you're already stressed as hell about social situations
A friend said this to me, or when I told him I had Asperger he said "I never knew you were like those retards". It's good to know who to not be involved with in life.
I find that having the right amount of support is the most important thing to have, whether at school or at work. I was extremely stressed at work not because of the job itself but due to the lack of support. Once I had the right amount of support things were so much easier.
Hey this is the story of an aspergers from India.. Today after watching this video I am 101 percent sure that I have aspergers. I have some self realisation 1. 90 percent of time my brain becomes stuck/overwhelmed due to n number of thought processing at one point of time.. So that I forgot who I am? I fee lost.. Struggle to keep track of my thinking/feelings 2. I can remember a lot of situation specially in the office where I feel so overwhelmed that I go to washroom to catch some breath/hold my head in a situation I know I can't handle myself. 3.I believe I am not able to understand the feeling of people if they are joking around/serious/ .. I always go very deep into the meaning of conversation with someone so I fail to crack the essence of the topic. 4. I feel most of the time I am very egoistic and can't take jokes etc.. Because I feel nobody is understanding me and my feelings. 5. I don't understand that nobody has the power to hurt me and most of the time they don't want to because they also have feelings. 6. I discovered that it is the fluctuations of emotions which are controling me like sudden joy/anger/jealousy/insecurity etc. 7. If someone's praise can't make me happy why should I worry if they scold me?? 8. I believe mixing with kindhearted non aspie people making me understand jokes/more emotions/helping me to take quick decision etc. 9. Most vital thing in this condition is self hurting feelings which overflows all the time and being unnecessary critical of yourself thinking about how others will dislike me 10. I again believe that I have realized these things very late on my thirties which I should have realised probably in my teen age. I blame my condition/bad upbringing /lacknofself awareness for this late realisation.. 11. MY GOAL IS TO UNDERSTAND THE WORLD BETTER AND BE MORE EMPHATIC TOWARDS OTHERS... Love ❤❤❤ to all
Hi Paul, thanks for this video it was really interesting! I'm Autistic and I'm at university now doing psychology. My final project is a study about autistic students experiences of university, then I'm off to do a master's in developmental disorders! Hoping to go on to train as a psychologist in the end and maybe help other people with autism.
University for me was really a mixed bag. On the plus side, It was great to be at an institution where most people wanted to be there and wanted to learn and didn't want to disrupt the class like at school. There was no bullying at University and it was generally a supportive environment. As you say in the video, there were a lot of clubs and societies, and my biggest regret was not joining the roleplaying society in my first year (by the time I did join in 3rd year I only attended one game of Shadowrun (which was great) and then was too busy to go back for the rest of the year). I unfortunately missed a few opportunities to make friends. Also, free internet (and this was back in 1999-2002 when the internet was new and expensive and we only had dial-up at home) was brilliant! The down side was it was a lot less structured than school. Classes varied in size and some were quite large. I struggled in a lot of classes and couldn't get help. Eventually I graduated with a 3rd class honours, which did not help when looking for a job. Career-wise and financially I might have been better off in an apprenticeship, but University did get me used to living away from my parents.
Good for you. I was diagnosed w Asperger's a few years ago. When i studied at Uppsala University many years before that, i didn't know that i was autistic or that I could have had support. Found that out along with the diagnose. Too late. 😢 Support would have made a HUGE difference. I dropped out and only finished about half of my courses. Wish I had known.
Thank you Paul, Love the T Shirt ( Designed & Made in New Zealand I believe - I saw this design online ; D ) Your enthusiasm was very evident in this video & I really enjoyed it. Life is filled with ups & downs, I find myself facing a valley & a Milestone ( turning 50 later this Year ; [ ) I have to change careers as I got absolutely fried ( burnout +++ ) in my job ( not a pleasant place to work to put it mildly ) but I'm looking forward to studying for a more fulfilling Career & the opportunity to work for myself. You generated a lot of topics for more videos during talking about how much you enjoyed University life, look forward to hearing about those in future videos. It's good to hear life in the over 30s + Autism community ; D Take care Paul : D
I have had to take a year off twice now trying to complete uni, but I doubt I will ever be able to finish any form of education or work. i'm 32 now and I havent been able to work for almost 10 years.
I was in college in the 80s and it was the worst time ever. I got into the most trouble I've ever been while there and at times it involved the law doing an intervention.
There were some genuine moments that are cherished very much. Feeling good and included, laughing together is such a treasure energy to have. Thanks for sharing, remembered some good moments from that time.𖧷𖧷𖧷 edit: lol, considering other mean and silly events, gotta catch those good moments amd keep em to heart nevertheless. Never know when others will come 🤷♀️シ︎
Omg, can relate so much!! Uni was DEF the best time in my life too, so exciting to move to the city and live my own life at uni! I had lots of different groups too and I went for a camp at the beach for orientation too and it was so fun to meet all these other people that were interested in all the cool stuff I was 😁
University was a wonderful time for me, I stayed there for 7 years, until I had maxed out my student loans and couldn't afford it anymore (Scandinavia = free uni, but one has to eat/pay rent..). Since then, I've always struggled with work life, so I've finally realised I need to go back for my PhD. That way of life works for me. It's independent and I can get away with spurs of hyperfocusing mixed with periods of burnout. Plus, I love learning new things.
I feel like the complete opposite. I loved high school my class was pretty immature but so was I and it didn't feel so serious. I dropped out of University cause everything became so serious. There were too many people to meet and so much to study that my head couldn't comprehend being busy all the time. You talked about socializing by going to taek-wondo 4 times at week while studying and I honestly feel like that would kill me.
That was my experience too Marco. I actually liked my secondary school I had good teachers and I made some great friends. I felt at University you had less room to work and learn in your own style and pace. Plus socialising was very challenging for me during the 18-25 period it felt very superficial and contrived.
My dream is to work one day for the Australian Unmanned Aerial system company Alauda. But my drawing and math skills are not the best right now. I have in general a very big interest for every thing that is aviation related or has something to do with the car industry!
As someone who transferred from community college to university, I feel like I am at least better supported now than I was back then. I struggled a lot in community college especially during the first few terms. I actually almost flunked out. I wasn't used to the amount of responsibility I needed to do the schoolwork. It of course wasn't all bad because I was able to eventually turn things around academically and graduate and transfer, but I think the university has a better support structure in place. There was just one counselor at the community college I had to consult with for guidance, whereas there are multiple people at the university that I can consult with for guidance about different aspects of school life. Also I feel more motivated to do schoolwork in the first place generally compared to any other schooling I've done before since my courses are all things I'm interested in and/or pertain to my major and future career. Socially, my closest friendships were with friends that I knew before college but I did meet some people in university that I get along with decently well. While in community college I knew who people were in classes, I didn't really make any new friends there. Lastly, I will add that there are/were good and bad instructors in both colleges, but in university I've experienced more extremes (by that I mean both extremely good and extremely bad professors). On the one hand, I had a class once which had a really lousy professor who would not even show up to class a lot of the time and didn't assign us any homework until like the last month or so of the semester then just expected us to do all of the work that was supposed to be spread out over the semester in that brief period of time. But I have also had some really great professors too, with well-structured classes and reasonable expectations who care a lot and are accommodating.
For me, university was always about getting a job. I'm studying electronics, which i love as a hobby, but it just doesn't feel right to put in all of this effort when it's not *on my own terms.*
I loved it, unfortunately my dad getting cancer, not knowing about my Asperger and pressure took its toll. I finished but going straight into an apprenticeship, after like 8 months working 7 days a week, 7-8 hrs, 3 different shifts randomly, I hit a brick wall. That led to the path that later on made me discover my Asperger, so that's something.
Maths and economics, swimming and dance, volunteer work with people as committed as I was, I met my husband (he has ADHD). I was still living with my parents. So yeah, for me uni was a very good time too. So much that I felt tempted to stay there permanently. Grad school was rougher, I got a scholarship away from home, I was living on my own, trying to have a long distance relationship. Also my thesis was uh controversial I guess and I got lots of criticism which I handled poorly. I had so much schoolwork that it left me little time to do anything else and it was hell. The only good thing out of it was meeting the best therapist I’ve had. He helped me get myself through the first stages of adulthood and I cannot thank him enough. He passed away last year. I was no longer his patient but I considered him a friend. F*cking Covid.
My first attempt at college (3 years) was some of the worst for me. I either got extremely good marks or (twice) had to drop all of my classes because I was non-functional... and I couldn’t see what I was doing differently to cause this. The few times I was in a relationship it started extremely well then crashed horrifically on the shutdown reefs. When I tried to hide to sort things out my “support system” thought it was their duty to fix my mood often using intoxicants which would work for a very short time before meltdown. Most times the advice or instruction was to “snap out of it” and being extremely adept at masking since kindergarten I would oblige while trying to escape. A horrific time.
I am a newcomer to your channel. I am a 71 year old Canuck who is now recently recognizing just how deviating being undiagnosed as being a man with a Asperger's disability. I am being helped greatly by watching these video presentations. I've been taken advantage of financially for most of my life by others. Is this a common occurrence with high functioning autistic people? Also, six commericals within seventeen minute is outrageous. Is there another format other than RUclips that doesn't require commercial interuptions? I refuse to pay RUclips to stop the ads.
You can get an extension on your browser called Ad Blocker - something of that effect, install it on your browser and it will stop all the ads. And yes, unfortunately Autistic people get taken advantage of often, we're too trusting and caring by nature and dont see when someone isnt being sincere.
I started uni on Thusday. I love it so far, I'm studying my interest and it is great compared to highschool. I can only do two units a semester though. Even going on campus once a week is overwhelming so, I feel I will not be able to do anything else. I couldn't cope with being involved with the sociatys and such sadly. I have a few friends that I see occasionly and that is enough for me. I wish I could be involved in a lot more, but on my break I will find somewhere quite to restore between classers. At least I won't be hiding in the toilets like I did in high school though, hahaha.
I sucked, I hung out with toxic ass people. I was constantly anxious and made a complete fool of myself. Also I wasn't doing martial arts (I'm doing it now) and I was a needy little fucker (like pathetically needy). I was a not good version of myself during uni.
Hey. Can you make a video without masking. I am curious to see the true you. To see if it looks like my “true me”. I haven’t seen anyone talk without masking. As I wait for a diagnosis I’m really interested to see if there’s a similarity
Omg, reading your comment made my brain glitch for a second lol. Like, not masking? How does one just...not mask? Can you consciously control whether you mask or not? Because I don't think I can. Also! Good luck on your diagnosis!
@@dharmahopkins4388 yes you can control when you mask. When I’m in public I put my mask on to try and fit in with society so they don’t think I’m weird. When I’m at home I’m just my regular weird self. I believe girls are able to mask more than men I’ve read. It takes a lot of mental energy to do it.
COMMENT: Yup, the down hill ride of society, exit all your normative values and expectations, get with the programme, you have to fit in or just be excluded, from a lot, as experienced.......it allows for an alterative path, as a route to enlightenment, it seems, as competing schools of thought and philosophy, being wider education, including, not least, different political and economic domains of experienced/knowledge. Thanks for your thoughts and insights, buddy.
Seems like the guy’s experience with Aspergers was super mild. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have been bullied all throughout highschool, ostracised and having panic attacks and agoraphobia that made the university experience horrible
I have one question , not really related with the topic but I dont know where else to ask it. How did you guys managed to get the appointment for the testing ? I want to make one for few months but every time I want to call my doctor in town to make an appointment for me with psychologist I get really nervous and anxious , also I do stutter so making a phone call is really hard , will my doctor even be willing to make appointment for me since I am in my twenties ?
Do you know how many Autistic people are Engineers? Paul thrived in that enviroment! It had structure for every aspect of life! I know the Uni Paul studied at & my son also on the spectrum studied a double Engineering Degree also at the same Uni . Paul did remark numerous times that everybody has different experiences in life & including Uni. I think a key point is the activities that were available that Paul enjoyed being involved in. I do know others Aspies who have had the completely opposite experience. We're all different & so to our experiences. I'm sorry if you have had a terrible experience ; I Iv'e had bad experiences as well, but I've had some great experiences as well ; D
University was the only place I have ever felt accepted
I have been having the complete opposite experience. I’m glad you found your place and came through it properly with a good experience.
Same here~~ University is HELL for me. I mean school arent good as well. But for sure I remember University is HELL~~ I just want to get out of there ASAP!!
@@sarah3412 I am very high in Openness to Experience, high in Neuroticism and low in Conscientiousness. A bad combo for performance in school. To make it even better, I chose Business Administration and that might have been one of the least suited studies for me that I could’ve chosen. I’m creative, unreliable and easily distracted. Those are the exact opposite three personality traits you need to do well in what I chose.
I hope you will get out of school soon and can start life again properly
@@nirtheart thanks. I already graduated like 5 years ago. I mean at that moment I just wanna get out of there ASAP. Sorry if my English sucked. I'm not an English speaker.
I'm not sure what I am. But what I know I'm sucked with social skills. Which I got into the famous course in the university. Everyone are scream loud attention and socially attention vs. me such a person who are doesn't have social cue, go by rules and shit~~
Colleges are very accepting to people no matter their race, sexuality, Identity, religion, or disability. That's one of the reasons I want to go.
Most are glad to accept money from anyone who will give it to them. The things you listed are equally as unimportant to those institutes against anyone who cannot afford to enter or remain within those systems. You don't need any college to learn whatever you want nor to find like-minded people with similar interests or ideals. Whatever you choose, I hope you find what you seek.
The title kinda scares me. I'm in university right now and yes, the support I've gotten so far has been great! And it's just going downhill from here? I don't have much of a support system outside of my university, so I've got no idea where to find support after I'm finished.
Me too!!!! I am so worried for when university ends
There's hope! I also had a fantastic time in university. And yes, when I finished I went into a full-blown depression for about a year, where I had no idea how to move on next. But with the help of family giving me a nudge in the right direction, and short-term medication, I got back on track, and have had phases in life that are perhaps not as idyllic but have been have been even better overall (e.g., more fulfilling) than my uni years. So there might be a bumpy patch (or you might be lucky and miss it), but it's not forever.
Also, be gentle on yourself. I don't think I could have handled going straight from uni to a full time career job + own place + relationship, etc. so I think I actually really needed a year to live at home and do mundane work and just kind of figure things out. (Then when I was ready, I was REALLY ready and moved across the world!)
I think they could have been, for me - if I engaged with my courses. Unfortunately at some point half way through my first year I discovered there were no consequences for not turning up, and at that point I retreated heavily with some stupid online game (MUDs in the day they were called). The other thing which was crucial was the courses themselves, they were not challenging enough - I studied computer science and I was already a competent programmer. Second and third year in particular were very easy as a result, either very easy or topics I didn't care about. Eventually I did 4th year and masters, finally finding some interesting topics and challenges, but only barely was allowed in because I had such a mixed bag of results.
One of the biggest obstacles I faced was sustaining enough motivation to do several courses at once, when I usually was more interested in something else or only one of the courses.
I can really relate to your feelings and experiences because I had a similar problem during my school time. I'm happy that I finally graduated from school this week. I will start to study Computer Science for Public administration. The name of my study subject at the university in Germany translated to the English language is probably Computer science/ IT Management for public administration.
I had trouble getting support at uni, I didn't realize how bad my depression was, which cut into my success. At least at my high school there were also arts to help me cope, but in uni I didn't have time for activities that used to help me
I haven't had that same experience nor did I finished my career (yet). I put it on hold, the worst part for me was ... that on the U my parents treat me like trash because I wasn't keeping good scores or going on the same page compared to others, what I didn't knew at that time is that I was developing a worse case of depression (carried along since the High) and giving that on my country there's no College years, you just jump directly to the University once finished High School.
The level of demand is not The step, it's The Wall. And giving the case that I never had good relationships, plus the abnormally high degradation on my country of origin (a communist party ruled by a donkey and a dogmatic culture towards kleptomania). Yes I say that I pretty wanted to jump of a bridge (at that time).
But ended developing a tumor on my throat, that grow from a tiny inflammation near my throat, to a... holy shit it's strangling my throat, in less than 2 months.
So my family outside the country managed to help us over here, which ended in surgery.
But before that day, on the clinic (the public hospitals were under equip and under supplied at that time 2019, go figure 2020) there was a span of 3 weeks before the day.
I had all the pre-requirements for the doctor to actually proceed to surgery...
So I said to myself, if it is cancer. I will tell to my parents (after recovery of surgery) that I won't take any treatment, no quimio, no radio, nothing. Just the time I had left I will do whatever I want with it, and be done with them, with everything.
It turned out that the doctor said it was caused by an infection, no trace of neoplasm.
I took my time to digest that. 2 chance.
While I was on recovery, treatment for 6 months, against TBC. January 2020 I ended my treatment when I read the news of propagation, I decided to keep records of it. If it jumped from Asia it's going to F up even more the delicate situation over here... it did.
Zero, that's the amount of Universities ready to make a good online education. And giving that our ISP is controlled by the state which it doesn't do a good service to begin with (more than half of the population doesn't have access to the internet) it's a Failed State.
What guilty did I have to happen to born here just 2 years before Chavez took over the country with a Messiah message fueled by people with hatred towards their previous "democratic governments".
Will the actual situation stop me? No, never again.
@@carlospulido6224 !!! 😳😳😳
"Be like a rocky promontory against which the restless surf continually pounds; it stands fast while the churning sea is lulled to sleep at its feet. I hear you say, "How unlucky that this should happen to me!" Not at all! Say instead, "How lucky that I am not broken by what has happened and am not afraid of what is about to happen. The same blow might have struck anyone, but not many would have absorbed it without capitulation or complaint.”
@@Dezzyyx you make some assumptions there, matey
@@minagica What assumptions?
I’m thankful every day for the Godly people at my son’s college who kept him under their wing and were inclusive. It was the best 4 years of his life.
Tbf I don't think your god would have had anything to do with it, while pretending people would need to believe in one to be good and helpful is plain insulting
Hubris much?
@@minagica I find YOU insulting, little snowflake ❄️
@@lisajohnson1068 I'm not, I'm just accurate compared to the lack of self awareness of religious folks like you who apparently live submersed in a microcosm of make belief.
I'm at college right now and I absolutely agree! It's unfortunate that we don't have all the resources in the real world than we do at college, but hey, I'll do the best with what I got
University is and was the best and worst time of my life. On one hand I discovered the only subject I love which was awesome for me. But on the other hand, I suffered from extreme anxiety because I had to communicate with inconsiderate and mean professors. My love for my subject made me very intense about it and their hurtful comments made me suffer from such terrible anxiety and depression. I also had terrible grades and this made me have terrible imposter syndrome. To me university was like discovering the best drug ever and getting addicted while suffering from some very bad side effects of the drug. Now I'm lucky to have a great advisor in a PhD but I'm not sure I will continue to be this lucky in academia, since it's a place where so many professors with control over my future are mean and inconsiderate.
Academics can be very harsh, I am lucky that my supervisor(s) have been kind (though usually over-worked and not able to always give any useful supervision) - I've certainly felt quite intimidated by the environment on multiple occasions. I made it through the PhD situation eventually, but boy it was a struggle.
@@OliverBatchelor >usually over-worked and not able to always give any useful supervision
That was my experience. Trying to get help from lecturers (particularly outside of lectures) was nigh-on impossible. :(
I am a NT but dating a guy who also graduated from Aerospace Engineering and I think he is an aspie too. Keep up your great work Paul! I enjoy listening to you very much!
Idk, I feel like I'm the opposite. I didn't know I was on the spectrum for over 2½ years after I dropped out of college. Highschool wasn't easy but I managed to stay in groups of friends who accepted me for the weirdo I was. The daily structure helped me form bonds with my classmates and friends, as well as keep up with the bare minimum of my homework (I never had to study cuz I'd remember everything the teacher said; I felt like homework was a complete waste of time).
Once I got to university and had to solely handle the responsibilities of classes, work, dating, and other social responsibilities on an irregular schedule, my energy tanked and my depression hit one of its lowest points. I didn't know what was "wrong" with me and felt like getting help was stupid; I lied through all of the counselor meetings they forced me into cuz I thought it was stupid to force me into it. Too much, too fast I suppose.
Funny you mentioned playing in the jazz band. I went into college as a percussion performance major with a pretty clear passion for jazz and desire to get great at it. Unfortunately, the curriculum for my degree was very strict and pre-determined, steering me away from jazz (I also didn't have a timeslot available to play with the top jazz band, which hurt a lot). By the time I left after a single year, my passion and love for the music had been sucked dry. I didn't play music for myself for almost 2 whole months after returning home.
All that said, I'm really happy to hear your uni experience was so much more supported than mine and went very well. College just isn't the right move for some of us, no matter how much we want it.
Unfortunately a complete lack of support when something pretty awful happened scuppered me at uni.
how you describe uni is what high school was like for me after grade 10. my school was tiny and in one year pretty much all the "popular" kids transferred so somehow I ended up in the "cool" group of my 13 person grad class, I was playing in the community band, jazz band at a different school, had a job, took calculus for dual credit at the local university. now I'm going into my third year of uni in September and it's been rough especially with the pandemic. my uni is a top school in Canada and the ableism is strong in high achieving neurotypicals. I couldn't handle online classes because of executive dysfunction and sensory issues, I pretty much dropped out this past year. I also had a friend group drop me for no reason (that I could tell) in my first semester and that destroyed my confidence in social situations.
I was daunted by the immensity of Uni, and opted to attend College instead. I was capable...I couldn't handle so many people for a long period of time...online Uni appeals to me, just don't have the funds for it...
I had this experince. It really helped me take agency for myself and recognize my value
I completely agree! For me school was challenging in grade school and the worst in high school. In college I was able to choose how many credits I wanted to take, when I wanted to take classes, what I wanted to take, etc. It was nice having more control of my studies. I think I just needed my family and friends to check in on me a bit more (I was undiagnosed at that time so no one knew that was something I needed, even myself!)
I studied Art in higher education and I found that my autism made me very aware of my working space. Many people felt cut off but I felt tuned in. I had tried H.E. before but that course had turned out to be a barrier because there were too many locations. I think that the actual learning environment is key and how you can impose a pattern of routines onto it will allow you to relax. I think with the first course I wanted to to survive the noise and intensity and I retreated from it. The problem with retreat is that you eventually find yourself out of range of actually experiencing or learning anything. I think that every person with autism has a limit to the remoteness from their central interests that they cannot tolerate and when their attention becomes 'thin.' I made my second course very concentrated because I knew I wanted to be in one place, but I didn't mind that concentration, even though it lead to increased pressure from having a single aim across all modules. My second attempt at higher education provided the best years of my life.
Uni was a nightmare for me, on the 1st semesters I noticed I had severe anxiety and my depression came back, I had to leave for a while when I only had my thesis left to finish, thanks to my teacher who told me "you're too slow" (in a very... not nice way) I said, "ok, enough, i'm not willing to finish my final project just because I have to do it with a teacher who thinks i'm stupid and lazy which i'm not, i'm the opposite I just cannot give my info structure" so i'm currently having a break from that and thinking on changing my subject from burnout to adult autism awareness but as I have to make a product or an app or system I don't know... I study Industrial Design but i'm very interested in psychology and i'm also on the spectrum so I really want to spread the word and educate others fto be more understanding, but idk, still thinking about it.
High School was my best years because I finally had a rest and felt real freedom and I made a lot of nice friends who I still love very much.
Wow, Paul, what an active social life!!
I'm in my second year of university but I'd say I'm having a harder time. High school was better for me because I could just automatically make friends with people in my classes and I had a good friend group. I started university during the covid pandemic, so my first year I almost made no friends at all and I was frustrated and lonely. My second year the restrictions were less so I decided to join more clubs, but I felt that I have not been able to really make any friends there. It's as if we just participate in the weekly meetings, but afterwards people just go home and don't hangout with each other, so I'm alone most of the time. Also I moved to an off fampus residence my second year, which has been really nice living in my own house with roommates. However, its been hard managing things like cooking, cleaning, etc. I'm planning to try my next semester a bit differently and hopefully it'll go better.
OMG exactly the same for me! Freedom to do what you can and when you want, great courses and much less anxiety
I pushed myself to go to Uni. Within 1 week it had been pointed out to me that I was 'socially retarded'. not much help when you're already stressed as hell about social situations
A friend said this to me, or when I told him I had Asperger he said "I never knew you were like those retards". It's good to know who to not be involved with in life.
I find that having the right amount of support is the most important thing to have, whether at school or at work. I was extremely stressed at work not because of the job itself but due to the lack of support. Once I had the right amount of support things were so much easier.
University was the best time in my life, too.
Yes we love a positive video 👏🏾❤️
Hey this is the story of an aspergers from India..
Today after watching this video I am 101 percent sure that I have aspergers. I have some self realisation
1. 90 percent of time my brain becomes stuck/overwhelmed due to n number of thought processing at one point of time.. So that I forgot who I am? I fee lost.. Struggle to keep track of my thinking/feelings
2. I can remember a lot of situation specially in the office where I feel so overwhelmed that I go to washroom to catch some breath/hold my head in a situation I know I can't handle myself.
3.I believe I am not able to understand the feeling of people if they are joking around/serious/ .. I always go very deep into the meaning of conversation with someone so I fail to crack the essence of the topic.
4. I feel most of the time I am very egoistic and can't take jokes etc.. Because I feel nobody is understanding me and my feelings.
5. I don't understand that nobody has the power to hurt me and most of the time they don't want to because they also have feelings.
6. I discovered that it is the fluctuations of emotions which are controling me like sudden joy/anger/jealousy/insecurity etc.
7. If someone's praise can't make me happy why should I worry if they scold me??
8. I believe mixing with kindhearted non aspie people making me understand jokes/more emotions/helping me to take quick decision etc.
9. Most vital thing in this condition is self hurting feelings which overflows all the time and being unnecessary critical of yourself thinking about how others will dislike me
10. I again believe that I have realized these things very late on my thirties which I should have realised probably in my teen age. I blame my condition/bad upbringing /lacknofself awareness for this late realisation..
11. MY GOAL IS TO UNDERSTAND THE WORLD BETTER AND BE MORE EMPHATIC TOWARDS OTHERS...
Love ❤❤❤ to all
Hi Paul, thanks for this video it was really interesting! I'm Autistic and I'm at university now doing psychology. My final project is a study about autistic students experiences of university, then I'm off to do a master's in developmental disorders! Hoping to go on to train as a psychologist in the end and maybe help other people with autism.
If you wish so… I however can confirm psychology greatly damaged my mental health
University for me was really a mixed bag.
On the plus side, It was great to be at an institution where most people wanted to be there and wanted to learn and didn't want to disrupt the class like at school. There was no bullying at University and it was generally a supportive environment. As you say in the video, there were a lot of clubs and societies, and my biggest regret was not joining the roleplaying society in my first year (by the time I did join in 3rd year I only attended one game of Shadowrun (which was great) and then was too busy to go back for the rest of the year). I unfortunately missed a few opportunities to make friends. Also, free internet (and this was back in 1999-2002 when the internet was new and expensive and we only had dial-up at home) was brilliant!
The down side was it was a lot less structured than school. Classes varied in size and some were quite large. I struggled in a lot of classes and couldn't get help. Eventually I graduated with a 3rd class honours, which did not help when looking for a job. Career-wise and financially I might have been better off in an apprenticeship, but University did get me used to living away from my parents.
Good for you. I was diagnosed w Asperger's a few years ago. When i studied at Uppsala University many years before that, i didn't know that i was autistic or that I could have had support. Found that out along with the diagnose. Too late. 😢 Support would have made a HUGE difference. I dropped out and only finished about half of my courses. Wish I had known.
Thank you Paul, Love the T Shirt ( Designed & Made in New Zealand I believe - I saw this design online ; D ) Your enthusiasm was very evident in this video & I really enjoyed it. Life is filled with ups & downs, I find myself facing a valley & a Milestone ( turning 50 later this Year ; [ ) I have to change careers as I got absolutely fried ( burnout +++ ) in my job ( not a pleasant place to work to put it mildly ) but I'm looking forward to studying for a more fulfilling Career & the opportunity to work for myself. You generated a lot of topics for more videos during talking about how much you enjoyed University life, look forward to hearing about those in future videos. It's good to hear life in the over 30s + Autism community ; D Take care Paul : D
I have had to take a year off twice now trying to complete uni, but I doubt I will ever be able to finish any form of education or work. i'm 32 now and I havent been able to work for almost 10 years.
I took one semester off~~ I barely graduated with such ridiculous CGPA(Low AF). Good luck anyway :D
I was in college in the 80s and it was the worst time ever. I got into the most trouble I've ever been while there and at times it involved the law doing an intervention.
Those in college today are in even greater trouble
There were some genuine moments that are cherished very much. Feeling good and included, laughing together is such a treasure energy to have. Thanks for sharing, remembered some good moments from that time.𖧷𖧷𖧷
edit: lol, considering other mean and silly events, gotta catch those good moments amd keep em to heart nevertheless. Never know when others will come 🤷♀️シ︎
Omg, can relate so much!! Uni was DEF the best time in my life too, so exciting to move to the city and live my own life at uni! I had lots of different groups too and I went for a camp at the beach for orientation too and it was so fun to meet all these other people that were interested in all the cool stuff I was 😁
Hey can’t wait
University was a wonderful time for me, I stayed there for 7 years, until I had maxed out my student loans and couldn't afford it anymore (Scandinavia = free uni, but one has to eat/pay rent..). Since then, I've always struggled with work life, so I've finally realised I need to go back for my PhD. That way of life works for me. It's independent and I can get away with spurs of hyperfocusing mixed with periods of burnout. Plus, I love learning new things.
I wish college was less important. In fact, not even my graduation helped me
I feel like the complete opposite. I loved high school my class was pretty immature but so was I and it didn't feel so serious. I dropped out of University cause everything became so serious. There were too many people to meet and so much to study that my head couldn't comprehend being busy all the time. You talked about socializing by going to taek-wondo 4 times at week while studying and I honestly feel like that would kill me.
That was my experience too Marco. I actually liked my secondary school I had good teachers and I made some great friends. I felt at University you had less room to work and learn in your own style and pace. Plus socialising was very challenging for me during the 18-25 period it felt very superficial and contrived.
My dream is to work one day for the Australian Unmanned Aerial system company Alauda. But my drawing and math skills are not the best right now. I have in general a very big interest for every thing that is aviation related or has something to do with the car industry!
As someone who transferred from community college to university, I feel like I am at least better supported now than I was back then. I struggled a lot in community college especially during the first few terms. I actually almost flunked out. I wasn't used to the amount of responsibility I needed to do the schoolwork. It of course wasn't all bad because I was able to eventually turn things around academically and graduate and transfer, but I think the university has a better support structure in place. There was just one counselor at the community college I had to consult with for guidance, whereas there are multiple people at the university that I can consult with for guidance about different aspects of school life. Also I feel more motivated to do schoolwork in the first place generally compared to any other schooling I've done before since my courses are all things I'm interested in and/or pertain to my major and future career. Socially, my closest friendships were with friends that I knew before college but I did meet some people in university that I get along with decently well. While in community college I knew who people were in classes, I didn't really make any new friends there. Lastly, I will add that there are/were good and bad instructors in both colleges, but in university I've experienced more extremes (by that I mean both extremely good and extremely bad professors). On the one hand, I had a class once which had a really lousy professor who would not even show up to class a lot of the time and didn't assign us any homework until like the last month or so of the semester then just expected us to do all of the work that was supposed to be spread out over the semester in that brief period of time. But I have also had some really great professors too, with well-structured classes and reasonable expectations who care a lot and are accommodating.
For me, university was always about getting a job. I'm studying electronics, which i love as a hobby, but it just doesn't feel right to put in all of this effort when it's not *on my own terms.*
I feel that. I'm studying software engineering but I really love philosophy, will I ever take a philosophy course? god no 😂
I loved it, unfortunately my dad getting cancer, not knowing about my Asperger and pressure took its toll. I finished but going straight into an apprenticeship, after like 8 months working 7 days a week, 7-8 hrs, 3 different shifts randomly, I hit a brick wall. That led to the path that later on made me discover my Asperger, so that's something.
Maths and economics, swimming and dance, volunteer work with people as committed as I was, I met my husband (he has ADHD). I was still living with my parents. So yeah, for me uni was a very good time too. So much that I felt tempted to stay there permanently. Grad school was rougher, I got a scholarship away from home, I was living on my own, trying to have a long distance relationship. Also my thesis was uh controversial I guess and I got lots of criticism which I handled poorly. I had so much schoolwork that it left me little time to do anything else and it was hell. The only good thing out of it was meeting the best therapist I’ve had. He helped me get myself through the first stages of adulthood and I cannot thank him enough. He passed away last year. I was no longer his patient but I considered him a friend. F*cking Covid.
My first attempt at college (3 years) was some of the worst for me. I either got extremely good marks or (twice) had to drop all of my classes because I was non-functional... and I couldn’t see what I was doing differently to cause this. The few times I was in a relationship it started extremely well then crashed horrifically on the shutdown reefs. When I tried to hide to sort things out my “support system” thought it was their duty to fix my mood often using intoxicants which would work for a very short time before meltdown. Most times the advice or instruction was to “snap out of it” and being extremely adept at masking since kindergarten I would oblige while trying to escape. A horrific time.
Do I ever feel you...
I am a newcomer to your channel. I am a 71 year old Canuck who is now recently recognizing just how deviating being undiagnosed as being a man with a Asperger's disability. I am being helped greatly by watching these video presentations. I've been taken advantage of financially for most of my life by others. Is this a common occurrence with high functioning autistic people? Also, six commericals within seventeen minute is outrageous. Is there another format other than RUclips that doesn't require commercial interuptions? I refuse to pay RUclips to stop the ads.
You can get an extension on your browser called Ad Blocker - something of that effect, install it on your browser and it will stop all the ads.
And yes, unfortunately Autistic people get taken advantage of often, we're too trusting and caring by nature and dont see when someone isnt being sincere.
@@contagioushate Ad Blocker
I started uni on Thusday. I love it so far, I'm studying my interest and it is great compared to highschool. I can only do two units a semester though. Even going on campus once a week is overwhelming so, I feel I will not be able to do anything else. I couldn't cope with being involved with the sociatys and such sadly. I have a few friends that I see occasionly and that is enough for me. I wish I could be involved in a lot more, but on my break I will find somewhere quite to restore between classers. At least I won't be hiding in the toilets like I did in high school though, hahaha.
I sucked, I hung out with toxic ass people. I was constantly anxious and made a complete fool of myself. Also I wasn't doing martial arts (I'm doing it now) and I was a needy little fucker (like pathetically needy). I was a not good version of myself during uni.
I loved university until my chronic illness hit. Even so, it was the best time of my life 😌
Hey. Can you make a video without masking. I am curious to see the true you. To see if it looks like my “true me”. I haven’t seen anyone talk without masking. As I wait for a diagnosis I’m really interested to see if there’s a similarity
Omg, reading your comment made my brain glitch for a second lol. Like, not masking? How does one just...not mask? Can you consciously control whether you mask or not? Because I don't think I can. Also! Good luck on your diagnosis!
@@dharmahopkins4388 yes you can control when you mask. When I’m in public I put my mask on to try and fit in with society so they don’t think I’m weird. When I’m at home I’m just my regular weird self. I believe girls are able to mask more than men I’ve read. It takes a lot of mental energy to do it.
Thanks for sharing
I apologize if you missunderstood but I have a learning disability
COMMENT: Yup, the down hill ride of society, exit all your normative values and expectations, get with the programme, you have to fit in or just be excluded, from a lot, as experienced.......it allows for an alterative path, as a route to enlightenment, it seems, as competing schools of thought and philosophy, being wider education, including, not least, different political and economic domains of experienced/knowledge. Thanks for your thoughts and insights, buddy.
Seems like the guy’s experience with Aspergers was super mild. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have been bullied all throughout highschool, ostracised and having panic attacks and agoraphobia that made the university experience horrible
I have one question , not really related with the topic but I dont know where else to ask it.
How did you guys managed to get the appointment for the testing ? I want to make one for few months but every time I want to call my doctor in town to make an appointment for me with psychologist I get really nervous and anxious , also I do stutter so making a phone call is really hard , will my doctor even be willing to make appointment for me since I am in my twenties ?
Paul, this video has a problem: it seems an NT relating a joyful experience at university. Where is the Asperger?
Do you know how many Autistic people are Engineers? Paul thrived in that enviroment! It had structure for every aspect of life! I know the Uni Paul studied at & my son also on the spectrum studied a double Engineering Degree also at the same Uni . Paul did remark numerous times that everybody has different experiences in life & including Uni. I think a key point is the activities that were available that Paul enjoyed being involved in. I do know others Aspies who have had the completely opposite experience. We're all different & so to our experiences. I'm sorry if you have had a terrible experience ; I Iv'e had bad experiences as well, but I've had some great experiences as well ; D
Tldw just be an extrovert apparently