My Husband Committed Suicide In Our House, Should I Move Out?

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  • Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 933

  • @tammaratiffany7425
    @tammaratiffany7425 Год назад +833

    Been in her shoes.
    Hubby committed suicide in our home.
    I sold and moved. I actually moved far away and started a new life.
    Best thing I’ve done for myself!!!
    So incredibly healing! Hugs 🤗 to this widow.

    • @allenpriest8985
      @allenpriest8985 Год назад +28

      I'm so sorry.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +13

      Very sorry to read about your lived experience. It is often (always?) devastating and can really make one wonder if the floor could be beneath their feet again.
      May you know what it is to be at Peace and in Hope today and always.
      The energy and love you shared with each other is always alive and no amount of time can change the beauty and light of what you two became together.
      🫂🤍🕊

    • @leetskeet4476
      @leetskeet4476 Год назад

      Wow.. even mentioning your husband's suicide you find a way to make it all about you.. with emote smileys no less. Women really are disgusting vile creatures sometimes

    • @KimSmith-b9v
      @KimSmith-b9v 7 месяцев назад +13

      I think it may be better to move and start a new life if the house reminds you of what happened and you get depressed. I see you as strong. 🎉

    • @tammaratiffany7425
      @tammaratiffany7425 7 месяцев назад +5

      @@KimSmith-b9v I didn’t get depressed. The house needed a complete remodel. It wasn’t where I wanted to live, & the town was too small. Too many stupid questions.

  • @tonypalombinijr2946
    @tonypalombinijr2946 Год назад +469

    I can’t say I always agree with Dave or John, but the advice they gave to Samantha was the best thing I’ve ever heard on the show. That woman is in great pain and all she needed was permission to free herself from the grip of that pain. Well done gentlemen.

    • @KatieBellino
      @KatieBellino Год назад +14

      I liked that they didn't even ask any of the financial info before agreeing that she should move.

    • @roseschulze1647
      @roseschulze1647 6 месяцев назад +10

      Agreed. You could hear the relief in her voice when they gave her the "permission" to do it. She and her children will be happier after she's living in a different house.

    • @joanneferratoify
      @joanneferratoify 6 месяцев назад +1

      Excellent advice!

    • @MrTaylorfenoglio
      @MrTaylorfenoglio 6 месяцев назад +7

      People always say they don't agree with his advice however could you imagine this lady's life if she didn't follow her his advice? She wouldn't have the option to move. The income would have been crazy cut in financially she would be worried. But she's not and she gave credit directly to Dave's teachings. Which is really simple live unless than you make, save, pay off debt, invest and give generously. I've never understood why people disagree with that.

    • @rayj.9568
      @rayj.9568 5 месяцев назад

      ​@MrTaylorfenoglio Dave is not Amighty God. His every word shouldn't be followed like it is Holy scripture. It seems that you are trying to guilt people into holding Dave as infallible.

  • @tigarlori2545
    @tigarlori2545 5 месяцев назад +371

    The “right” answer is not the same for everyone. My husband, a Veteran with PTSD, shot himself in our bedroom at the age of 42 in 2010. We had a 10 year-old son whose entire support structure was in that neighborhood. I stayed until my son graduated college with a Master’s. I just moved last year into a wonderful retirement community. Best thing for my son was for us to stay. Best thing for me was to move. Both happened, just in God’s time, not mine. My son is thriving and I am thriving. I have no regrets.

    • @SouthernBelle888
      @SouthernBelle888 5 месяцев назад +23

      I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm also a Gold Star wife, my husband lost his battle with his demons from 6 deployments, in 2013, he was 39, and we had 1 teenager and 3 young children, ages 9,6 and 5, no one who hasn't been in our shoes can relate, I'm very fortunate that my husband didn't commit suicide in our home or at his parents house, he shot himself in the woods in his truck while stationed in Germany.

    • @lauras6762
      @lauras6762 5 месяцев назад +7

      I am so sorry for both of you. ❤ Everyone’s situation is different, and that’s okay. Hope both of you and your families are doing well. 😊

    • @fredfred4086
      @fredfred4086 5 месяцев назад +5

      Well done. You have done what is best for your family, and yourself.

    • @BlackStump172
      @BlackStump172 5 месяцев назад +6

      It sounds as though she needs to move out and forward , remembering her husband with love and understanding . Then speak about the good times with family .

    • @aprilmaloney7459
      @aprilmaloney7459 5 месяцев назад +9

      Beautiful response, God's timing not ours. Blessings to you

  • @macpduff2119
    @macpduff2119 Год назад +168

    Great advice. She needs to move. My husband had an fatal construction accident at what was to be our dream home. I was traumatize because I witnessed the accident. It took a year before I could return to retrieve our furniture and personal items. I let the dream home go for taxes, sold our other home, and now am living peacefully in a new house with lovely neighbors. I feel that God has renewed my spirit and healed my heart by making a new home available to me. This lady will never heal if she remains around the negative energies and memories that traumatized her.

    • @Pickedpurposely
      @Pickedpurposely Год назад +7

      Oh my 😢 God bless you ! I’m happy to know you’ve been given the peace you deserve 💕

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +4

      Sincere blessings to you. 🤍🕊💞

    • @claudiacanales2662
      @claudiacanales2662 Год назад +2

      Amazing how God helped you to pull through all that!!!!

    • @ImJesusGirl
      @ImJesusGirl 6 месяцев назад +2

      Bless your heart!!! You are truly an inspiration to others!! Thank you for sharing your story!!❤🙏🏻

  • @zachpierce641
    @zachpierce641 Год назад +748

    Love or hate Dave’s advice . I just love his compassion towards callers dealing with a tragedy

    • @Dividendflywheel
      @Dividendflywheel Год назад +20

      I believe such calls gives a window into his soul

    • @silverstar4289
      @silverstar4289 Год назад +9

      If a person hates his advice, they aren’t listening to him, they are out being broke

    • @TrueFineGentleman
      @TrueFineGentleman 6 месяцев назад

      @@silverstar4289💯

    • @lindap.p.1337
      @lindap.p.1337 6 месяцев назад +8

      They were great on this call. I hope the house was on the market by Saturday.

    • @rhoadestraveled
      @rhoadestraveled 6 месяцев назад +4

      Makes me cry every time

  • @charming4032
    @charming4032 5 месяцев назад +113

    When she said "146 days ago" i broke, ive counted the days like this before too 💔 sending much love to anyone counting days ❤❤❤

  • @TheFinanceZone
    @TheFinanceZone Год назад +339

    Wow when Samantha said she was debt free at the end of the call you can tell how proud of herself she really was. She really is truly worthy and an amazing woman who deserves all the love in the world. She's going to live an amazing rest of her life and I truly hope everything works well for her and she finds herself a nice new home for her and her family to make new memories in. May God Bless Samantha on this day and everyday moving forward.

    • @aprilm4423
      @aprilm4423 Год назад +9

      The poor dear! My heart breaks 💔 for her.

    • @thomas3059
      @thomas3059 Год назад +6

      Almost like her husband planned that way make her debt free before he left

    • @imranhuddin
      @imranhuddin Год назад +2

      The richest people in the world have the highest debt.
      Money is debt.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +1

      A beautiful sentiment.

  • @lombardo141
    @lombardo141 Год назад +551

    I tried to commit suicide when I was younger. Hearing this call and seeing what my family would have gone through am glad it failed. I still have my demons but I will fight it through till the very end. Always think of who will be hurt after you leave. 😢

    • @KH-lk9rn
      @KH-lk9rn Год назад +30

      Stay strong, if not for yourself, for your family

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 Год назад +18

      Family and close friends will suffer in immense agony until the day they die. But also old friends. In 2020 an old friend from high school took his own life. It broke me, and I haven’t been the same since. He was such a good guy, a war vet and current LEO. He saw too much, I think.

    • @jiraheta16
      @jiraheta16 Год назад +28

      Disown them! They’re not your demons!!!! Jesus Christ wants to be your beat friend

    • @jiraheta16
      @jiraheta16 Год назад +8

      ***best

    • @WeiFinder
      @WeiFinder Год назад +3

      Being happy is your one and only goal, I know what anxiety and depression feels like intimately, but whatever it takes learn happiness as a skill. I've personally found that freedom and helping others brings me immense joy that lingers between "freedom and helping" actions, I worked hard and I'm now financially free traveling most of the year, the future is what you make it. You got this.

  • @KENTUCKYUSA1
    @KENTUCKYUSA1 Год назад +202

    By the end of this call, I can feel how much lighter her burden is. This woman needed help and was given excellent advice and a lot of love.

  • @EduardoRodrigues-ce4dh
    @EduardoRodrigues-ce4dh Год назад +427

    Dave is such a compassionate man. His role as an example for other men, especially the younger, is much more important than just that of a finance advisor.

    • @andrew8168
      @andrew8168 Год назад +13

      Uhhh except for marriage. Dave is out of touch and dangerous on marriage.

    • @TheChitowngirl23
      @TheChitowngirl23 Год назад +7

      ​@@andrew8168how is he dangerous?

    • @dmbgator86
      @dmbgator86 Год назад +5

      @@TheChitowngirl23He’s told very young couples that if you want to help your bf or gf out with student loans don’t do it unless you’re married. They said ok…. Then he has says ok then go and get married. Next week go get yourself married.

    • @jh26pt2
      @jh26pt2 Год назад +32

      @@andrew8168 He's not out of touch or dangerous at all. You just happen to not like what he has to say. Don't confuse the two.

    • @IrishFrank22
      @IrishFrank22 Год назад +4

      ​@@jh26pt2Statistics show divorces rates are around 60% so yeah dave is dangerous when giving marriage advice.

  • @MYlearning-f7l
    @MYlearning-f7l Год назад +71

    Thank you, Dr. John, for telling this precious lady to go be well. She doesn't need to be isolated in that house to honor her husband.

  • @fatimaalkooheji5078
    @fatimaalkooheji5078 6 месяцев назад +177

    I cried for this lady, then the comment section is filled with painful experiences 💔🥺 i pray for everyone to overcome their hardness♥️

  • @rangequeen
    @rangequeen Год назад +173

    Samantha, if you ever see this, you are a brave lady and we’re all pulling for you. ❤

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +9

      Beautiful words, I concur. 💞

  • @Winnie-Kay
    @Winnie-Kay Год назад +115

    Dave is right. A transition is needed. Rent a house for 6 months or so before buying. It will help prevent the stress of hurriedly buying a home, as it will allow for time to plan and scope out where and what type of home to purchase. More importantly, it will help in the mourning process.

  • @Bianca-nc8yy
    @Bianca-nc8yy Год назад +292

    My husband ended his life in our home in August of 2023. Only 33 years old and together for 15years. We have 6 daughters ages from 13 to 10months. Never did i imagine to be a widow at 33. Its so hard and the thoughts of if only i was there to save him... the i wish i had.. i should have continue in my head. I decided right away i needed to move. Every night before the big move id sit at the stairs where he passed and cried, got angry, got sad and it was unhealthy for me to do that but felt close to him cause thats the last place he was. Im here searching on youtube searching for advice, for peoples experiences and im glad i crossed this video. Thankyou

    • @texasjody9835
      @texasjody9835 8 месяцев назад +28

      My husband took his life 8 years ago. He had depression, had a back surgery that did not end well, lost his mother, a month later lost his sister to cancer. Tried twice before he actually succeeded. Since he didn’t shoot himself and the only mess I had to clean up was from the EMT’s I decided to stay here. (He actually died at the hospital). My daughter was a sophomore in high school and she was going through enough to up root her and move. She was in the decision to stay living here. We’ve had plenty of people spend the night over the years and my fiancé now lives here with me. My daughter will be sad if I sell, it’s the last place she saw her dad, it’s her last real connection with him. I did have the house blessed (exact spot in the garage) and blessings over us as well.
      It’s a hard thing to go through. Best of luck to you. God made us strong, you never realize how much strength you have until a crisis like this happens.🙏🏻

    • @devirachman5442
      @devirachman5442 6 месяцев назад +17

      I am sorry for your loss.

    • @KeeekThaSneak
      @KeeekThaSneak 6 месяцев назад +12

      I’m so sorry honey ❤

    • @ms8742
      @ms8742 6 месяцев назад +9

      Very sorry for your loss. God bless you!

    • @famj4860
      @famj4860 5 месяцев назад +5

      @texasjody 9835 It's good to know that you had your house and your family blessed. I lost my husband not too long ago of natural causes. A lady in church advised me to ask forgiveness from my husband and, I should also forgive him. It was the best advice. It gave me peace and the strength to move on.

  • @jillm.1108
    @jillm.1108 5 месяцев назад +165

    My brother committed suicide in 1983. My family was destroyed with after shocks still to this day. Suicide never has just one victim.

    • @tammaratiffany7425
      @tammaratiffany7425 5 месяцев назад +5

      That is so very true. My husband’s family, Barring a couple of members never spoke to me again after the call I made telling his parents what he did.

    • @blessedmamags7796
      @blessedmamags7796 5 месяцев назад +2

      I was just missing my Uncle today, 1981. I've needed him all these years 😢

    • @Rock72Man
      @Rock72Man 5 месяцев назад +3

      Agree, two uncles went the same way as well (mothers brothers) 1980 at 19 and 1981 at 14 (I was 8 and 9 at the time) still think of it to this day.

    • @jillm.1108
      @jillm.1108 5 месяцев назад +2

      @@tammaratiffany7425 I’m so sorry for your loss and how you were treated afterwards.

    • @jillm.1108
      @jillm.1108 5 месяцев назад +2

      @@blessedmamags7796 Hugs. I get it. I am so sorry for your loss.

  • @Ava_Bun_Fun
    @Ava_Bun_Fun Год назад +40

    Samantha's story got me emotional. I lost my husband over a year ago. The advice Dr John and Papa Dave gave me myself think about my situation.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      🤍💐

  • @RogueTrucker12
    @RogueTrucker12 Год назад +125

    Man, seeing Dave damn near lose it himself says volumes about this situation. Prayers to this woman and her family.💔

  • @texasjody9835
    @texasjody9835 8 месяцев назад +12

    My husband took his life in the garage 8 years ago. (Actually died at the hospital… thankfully it was not with a gun, no mess). I had a minister come the next day to bless the spot, our house, and us. My daughter was 15 she was a sophomore in school … we decided to stay here. Since then I’m engaged and my fiancé lives here. I think it would’ve hurt my daughter if we had moved out. This house is her last real connection with her daddy.

    • @lynnebucher6537
      @lynnebucher6537 5 месяцев назад +3

      It's such a personal and complicated decision. My mom chose to stay also, for the rest of her life, which lasted over 4 decades after losing him.

  • @GardenerEarthGuy
    @GardenerEarthGuy Год назад +185

    I had do this, it was terrible and I had to handle it with a six month old infant. When I sold the house it was nearly impossible to sort through everything. I couldn't do it.
    I sold the place as is and just drove off to our new place.
    Just being there makes you relive everything and you can't break your thoughts to heal.
    Feel for her.

    • @bluejedi723
      @bluejedi723 Год назад +43

      My brother did just this. His wife killed herself in the basement after a long battle with mental illness. Left behind him, a 3 year old and a 9 month old. I told him it's okay to sell the house as in, take a massive loss and start over. Thats what he did. He packed up a few things- family photos, wedding album, home movies and the kids stuff. Moved in with us for about a year and then bought his own place nearby.

    • @GardenerEarthGuy
      @GardenerEarthGuy Год назад

      @@bluejedi723
      I put some states between myself and that house. I was sleep deprived with an infant and any moments he slept when I didn't I would try to sort things and couldn't do it.
      Dave mentioned living in a museum and it's true- I ran in circles and couldn't break the cycle, while bottle feeding and changing diapers.
      It has taken me about ten years to even be able to hear the word suicide without going back to that place in my mind, and sometimes I still do.
      My child is healthy and happy, but needs female attention- it's impossible for me to even consider dating anyone and bringing them into our life bubble I've set up. I just hope I'm doing the right thing.

    • @bettysmith4527
      @bettysmith4527 Год назад +4

      aww, very sorry for Gardner, I wish you could talk to this woman because you would understand what she is going through.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +2

      Respect for you and your pain. My heart goes to you and yours for what you've endured.
      May Peace, Comfort, and Hope be ever near and feel like old friends.
      🤍🕊

    • @KasieMusic
      @KasieMusic 6 месяцев назад +4

      You are an amazing sibling. The best you can do in such a situation is provide company, which you did in such a great way. I feel so much for your brother, having two kids aged 2 years and 9 months, what a brave guy he must be. Praying for him, the children and you and your family.

  • @Krinbo
    @Krinbo Год назад +217

    I’m so grateful to John Delony helping her with this. My heart rests with her.

    • @evelyndaisy9722
      @evelyndaisy9722 Год назад +11

      He was great 😊

    • @katiejon17
      @katiejon17 Год назад +6

      John’s a virtue signaler. He makes everything about himself.

    • @jamesjazzy8040
      @jamesjazzy8040 Год назад +3

      I'm not l...I wanted to hear Dave....

    • @teebone2157
      @teebone2157 Год назад +2

      How did he help her? All they said was moved out of the house

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +1

      @@katiejon17
      I'm new to him but it doesn't seem impossible. On this he diiiiid make good points as a general statement. (Worthiness and such. I do hope Ms. Samantha was able to receive that into her heart as it is true. And for everyone.
      For me, it's the body language. I am new to seeing him and it isn't the entirety if who he is (the bulk of who he is as a public figure is unknown to me). If he was directly speaking in person to me but giving off the vibe he was about to come out of the chair like he's chomping at the bit to answer a Jeopardy question I wouldn't spend much time in his presence or be able to receive what he's saying because that is offputting.
      He could have credentials and "experience" out the wazoo. When your unspoken communication makes me ill at ease it almost all doesn't really (unless I'm being forced to care).
      So, I'll try to see what there is to like about him more but for this I much preferred Dave's approach even though I'm off of him for his personality these days as well.
      The overall point is is that the caller got what she wanted or needed. If that happened/if she was on with the call then none of our opinions at all mean a fucking thing. This really was all for her. (🫂)

  • @jude1515
    @jude1515 Год назад +30

    Prayers for this caller who lost her husband.❤️🙏🏼 They gave this lady really good advice.

  • @fungirl4027
    @fungirl4027 6 месяцев назад +105

    So great "Your call in life is not to run a museum"

  • @rockymountainfacet5958
    @rockymountainfacet5958 Год назад +175

    The same thing happened to me. Exept it was my mother. I found her OD'd from opoids in 2007. She had her "will" standing up in the dresser stand. Ruled inconclusive. I know she did it to hurt me. I stayed in the paided off house. 16 years later. I wish I had not stayed. It has taken a toll being reminded of everything. My story is too long. I understand this womans pain. Move out! I feel the way Dave and John. Answered this call truly helped me in a deep way. I was an 18-year-old man with no one telling me this advice in 07.. Now im 35 and truly love the Ramsy team for the help they give us who have few people in our lives. God bless.

    • @nmc1859
      @nmc1859 Год назад +4

      Sorry you went through that.

    • @rockymountainfacet5958
      @rockymountainfacet5958 Год назад

      @@nmc1859 ❤️

    • @LeahBrooksJeremiahGardens
      @LeahBrooksJeremiahGardens Год назад +8

      I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope and pray you are doing well!

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +4

      My heart goes out to you on your lived experience. It sounds as if it had a significant impact.
      I truly hope you are living in Peace and Hope. May these and all you need be, or become, manifest to you.

    • @janebaker4912
      @janebaker4912 Год назад +5

      I'm so sorry. Did your mother have narcissistic personality disorder?
      I found my dad. He was a doctor so he got dead people's opioids.

  • @EricSmyth4Christ
    @EricSmyth4Christ Год назад +254

    One time my friend called me with a gun to his head and told me he was going to do it. He was having trouble actually pulling the trigger so he got some alcohol and got a little bit drunk
    Thankfully, I talked him out of it and now he has a fiancé and two kids and loves life

    • @KENTUCKYUSA1
      @KENTUCKYUSA1 Год назад +27

      Thank God he called you, you are a great friend.

    • @Rico401Prov
      @Rico401Prov Год назад +11

      Not to sound pessimistic but by this call, a wife and two kids doesn’t necessarily rid someone of their inner demons

    • @KENTUCKYUSA1
      @KENTUCKYUSA1 Год назад +12

      @@Rico401Prov Perhaps not, but it buys time for the depressed and hopeless person to get therapy and other help.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      💫

    • @leabeauty837
      @leabeauty837 6 месяцев назад +4

      @@Rico401ProvBy the sounds of it. It was less a demons thing and more of a cry for help. He called someone to tell them he needed help at that point in life, not that he wanted to die.

  • @willywonka2164
    @willywonka2164 Год назад +39

    My mother found my brother in his room. Sometime in the grieving process she declared she has a life to live and so do we. She redecorated the room and it’s a guest room for our out of town sister.
    14 years later I have no idea how she persists. Life is hard.

  • @reebogibbs8653
    @reebogibbs8653 Год назад +190

    Ten years ago my husband took his life in our home. The pain was bearable only because the Lord got me through it. Five years ago I sold that home and moved out of state. It was hard to do but looking back on it, it was a wise thing to do.

  • @thomas3059
    @thomas3059 Год назад +67

    God bless to John's Family such a Said story I know, because 30 years ago, my dad committed suicide.
    30 years later, it still hurts just as bad.

    • @donnafontaine2799
      @donnafontaine2799 Год назад +6

      Very sorry about your dad...very sad to lose esp a parent I can't imagine!

    • @shea1219
      @shea1219 Год назад

      💔

    • @thomas3059
      @thomas3059 Год назад +2

      @@shea1219 Thank you for understanding god bless

    • @thomas3059
      @thomas3059 Год назад +2

      @@donnafontaine2799 Thank you god bless

    • @mariee.5912
      @mariee.5912 Год назад +2

      Sending hugs

  • @Kastnerd
    @Kastnerd Год назад +29

    This is the first Dave Ramsey video to make me cry. Condolences and best wishes to Samantha

  • @BalancedLife303
    @BalancedLife303 Год назад +12

    Dr. John’s comments are always to the point! He knows what he is doing.

  • @vickieclark5931
    @vickieclark5931 Год назад +56

    Very few calls on this show put me in tears, but this one did. I completely agree with Dave and John. Get out of that house. I definitely would. Even if he didn't die in that house, there are just too many memories that would keep me from moving forward. But him taking his life in that house, would make me leave even faster. Cause it's more a morgue in there instead of a place to live. Everywhere you turn, you see him. Start a fresh new life being 100% debt free. The sky is the limit for her. I'm so happy that at least she is in a good financial place. It always makes it 10 times harder when you are financially struggling and dealing with all of this. That's why it's great to be in a good position because you never know what life is going to throw at you.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      You can say this for yourself if you live it. You do not know it as fact for anyone else.
      Mind your projection.

  • @joysilas4724
    @joysilas4724 Год назад +10

    I had to pause this video several times because I couldn’t stop crying. God bless this lady.

  • @peapicker
    @peapicker 6 месяцев назад +19

    I am in tears! My best friend had the same happen 20 years or so ago. She finally sold and moved into an apartment. She said she wished she had done it sooner. I wish she had too. God Bless this caller.

  • @bettysmith4527
    @bettysmith4527 Год назад +24

    This is so heartbreaking, this poor woman and her adult kids! Nothing you could have done, people who are truly suicidal hide it very very well!

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      A tender sentiment. 😔💫

  • @michelleholt7249
    @michelleholt7249 Год назад +4

    The person who is left has to pick up the pieces and has no answers from the person who was in pain to commit this act. You deserve to live well and happy.

  • @dwjackson5422
    @dwjackson5422 4 месяца назад +10

    My son did not committed suicide, He died at the age of 4 in our house. We sold our house too. We need to listen to God and to heed to his word. Sometimes God tells us to stay and sometimes he tells us to move. We have to seek God for what he wants us to do.

  • @carolstettheimer9906
    @carolstettheimer9906 6 месяцев назад +12

    When my husband received a terminal diagnosis at 56, we bought a lot and began building an accessible house. We moved to an accessible apartment, and then I closed on the new house 6 weeks after he died.
    Leaving behind the place where all the bad things about his illness happened has been a huge help for me. I vote get out. I hope you have found a clear direction.

  • @briansmith5239
    @briansmith5239 Год назад +14

    Im glad John was on the call for this one, really difficult situation

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      Please share what he did that impressed you.

  • @Van-zf9iw
    @Van-zf9iw Год назад +20

    With me it was my mother, she shot herself in one bedroom, age 68, my father died of congestive heart failure in the other bedroom, age 70. I sold that house that I had grown up in, because I didn't want to live there, or be a landlord. And it was in an area of Charlotte that was starting to change for the worse.

  • @nanciemarie9614
    @nanciemarie9614 5 месяцев назад +5

    Bless you for this advice. I sold my brother's place after his violent suicide. I liked hearing your comments .

  • @markmurrell1894
    @markmurrell1894 Год назад +7

    How this team goes from calls like this to a guy or lady stressed about a car they just bought is admirable.

  • @TeamAwesomese
    @TeamAwesomese 5 месяцев назад +4

    I have been a fan of Dave for 18 years. This is the most moving episode I have ever seen.

  • @marielang9552
    @marielang9552 Год назад +176

    God please help this woman and give her peace. In Jesus Christ, Amen

    • @diaslamure6048
      @diaslamure6048 6 месяцев назад +6

      Amen

    • @jenniferstahl5119
      @jenniferstahl5119 5 месяцев назад

      😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊​@@diaslamure6048

    • @TheHungryPigeon
      @TheHungryPigeon 5 месяцев назад +3

      Ma’am, this is the RUclips comment section.

    • @wrecklesswisdom
      @wrecklesswisdom 3 месяца назад

      @@TheHungryPigeon Jesus will find anyone anywhere at anytime. This world needs more Jesus

    • @TheHungryPigeon
      @TheHungryPigeon 3 месяца назад

      @@wrecklesswisdom Jesus can't find his way into the non-western world.

  • @mightymommom5888
    @mightymommom5888 Год назад +49

    My husband committed suicide in our house at the age of 54. I have a 34 and 32 yo. Married 31 years. I had to move out of my house because my in-laws owned half of the house and the house was in their name. My heart aches for her.

  • @patrickchilds5486
    @patrickchilds5486 Год назад +26

    I would have to move. Sad.

  • @Mike137dd-v4r
    @Mike137dd-v4r Год назад +5

    I went through a similar situation back in 2004. I realized a few years later I could not move forward (age 50) unless I took the big step of selling the house, get rid of old things... I decided to start over in a new place in a new town 20 miles away. I have no regrets about doing that. My in-laws, who I am still close to, supported me throughout. I feel terrible for her. It's going to take time, but she will be ok. She sounds like a sweet lady. I wish her the best.

  • @Gukworks
    @Gukworks Год назад +23

    I found my twin brother after his suicide in the home we shared. A close friend did a Lakota cleansing ceremony in the spot, it helped more than I thought it would. I did eventually move.

    • @theskyizblue2day431
      @theskyizblue2day431 Год назад +3

      I have a twin that is in and out of addiction and this is my biggest fear. We used to be best friends, my only friend and now he hates us because we don’t let him abuse us

    • @theskyizblue2day431
      @theskyizblue2day431 Год назад +1

      God bless you and I’m sorry you had to go through that

    • @Gukworks
      @Gukworks Год назад +2

      @@theskyizblue2day431 That sucks. My brother had scizophrenia. I count myself lucky he loved me till the end, the real him would never of did what he did.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +1

      There are many beautiful and healing practices of Indigenous cultures.
      Thank you for speaking to yours and the benefit of it.
      So sorry for your pain. 🤍🕊

  • @tonyj9203
    @tonyj9203 Год назад +58

    🙏🏾 If its painful to stay...
    Its not disrespectful to leave.

    • @jimboogie7732
      @jimboogie7732 Год назад +2

      This same logic is why the Husband committed suicide.
      If it’s painful to stay…
      It’s not disrespectful to leave.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +1

      I LOVE THIS POST

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      ​@@jimboogie7732
      I can see why someone would write this. I don't entirely agree but do get the heart (I think) and can see compassion for pain.

    • @tonyj9203
      @tonyj9203 Год назад

      @@jimboogie7732 *I think the pain of him untimely leaving his loved ones should have made him think it outweighs the pain to cope.*

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      @@tonyj9203
      It is not your place to think his thoughts or to manage his decisions (especially after the fact)

  • @jasonrodgers9063
    @jasonrodgers9063 Год назад +38

    My heart breaks for this woman. Praying for her.

  • @quesohusker
    @quesohusker 5 месяцев назад +7

    My parent's found my brother in their new home. They moved as soon as they could.

  • @konaduakyeampong3144
    @konaduakyeampong3144 Год назад +23

    I still live in the home that my daughter died in. I still live in the house with my kids. My son is autistic and attends a school near my home so moving is not an option.

    • @cgasucks
      @cgasucks Год назад +11

      Sorry about your daughter.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      🤍🕊
      💞💞💞💞💞

  • @ConnieFoster1
    @ConnieFoster1 Год назад +4

    My husband got sick suddendly and died about 2 months later. Redoing our master bedroom is what got me moving, healing and living again. I was only 42, so too young to just retire. They gave excellent advice. Its way too easy to get locked into grief and just give up. You carry them with you, but don't stop your life

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      There is good content in this.

  • @lisahinkofer2085
    @lisahinkofer2085 Год назад +46

    My husband took his own life over thirty years ago and left me with two little girls to raise. We were separated at the time because he was drinking and he was out of control but you know what yes I did feel guilty and still do in some ways. I think what could have I had done to prevent it. I feel this woman’s pain. I think about him almost every day. But he didn’t take into consideration his two little girls and not giving them the gift of a sober healthy father. I have remarried and have been with a good man for over thirty years. We have a beautiful daughter together and the three girls that we have are all grown up and on their own. Life does go on. Be happy and find joy in every waking moment. Also know that you are worthy of a good life and that his suicide is in no way your fault. You did nothing wrong.

    • @unknowncomment85
      @unknowncomment85 Год назад

      you could have prevented it by finding resources and walking with him to help him get de-addicted which is what true loyal wives do.. not separating.. that kind of true love and passion doesn't exist in western world.. you have to travel east.. far east to see that kind of love.. what works for western world is to find another man with lesser issues..

    • @davidbrayshaw3529
      @davidbrayshaw3529 Год назад +8

      I'm am replying to you in the hope that you will re read the last two sentences of your post, several times, if necessary, and understand that your advice applies to yourself as much as it does, anyone else. I can only imagine your circumstances leading up to your separation. All of our experiences are different. There is only one person that can address a substance abuse problem. Only one. That person is the one with the problem. Not their mum and dad, brother, sister, husband or wife. You fulfilled your moral duty, which was first and foremost to your daughters. That was the correct choice at the time, and it still is, today.
      It is human nature to feel guilt following a loss such as yours. We invariably play the role of the Monday morning quarterback. Would've, should've, could've. That is an unavoidable emotional state. This lessens with time, but we own it for life. The objective reality, however, is that in circumstances such as yours, the resources at your disposal were exhausted long before the final act of betrayal was cast.
      I am so glad for you that you were able to make a good life for your family and yourself. That says a lot about your character, right there.

    • @davidbrayshaw3529
      @davidbrayshaw3529 Год назад +1

      Your absence of wisdom is born from a mind that has not faced such adversity. I hope that you never have to face such adversity in order to gain such wisdom. I also hope that you recognize the deficit that you before so thoughtlessly and rudely sharing it with others in the future.@@unknowncomment85

    • @lisahinkofer2085
      @lisahinkofer2085 Год назад +10

      @@unknowncomment85 his job offered him help and I told him to get help. He became violent and went after me and the kids with a knife. Understand that he didn’t want to get better and I was not going to stay with two young children in the house with him

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад +2

      Your post is beautifully communicated.
      My sincere respect to you and yours for your pain and for the work of enduring.
      Thank you for sharing about hope after hell.
      🤍🕊💞

  • @rleonekc07
    @rleonekc07 Год назад +9

    Samantha if you happen to read this, I am so sorry. Please hang in there.

  • @Amy-601
    @Amy-601 Год назад +4

    I cannot imagine what Samantha’s been through. My deepest condolences 💐, Samantha. Sending thoughts and prayers your way. Sincerely, Amy

  • @28goldenboy
    @28goldenboy Год назад +21

    Losing someone especially in the home where you have all memories of them is devastating. The right answer for your mental health being is to move away but unfortunately, that's not something everyone has the privilege of doing.

  • @annemccoy7765
    @annemccoy7765 5 месяцев назад +12

    I'm so sorry. I lost my 22 year old grandson last year. I still can't sleep in my house. I just can't close my eyes without seeing my sweet boy lying in the fetal position.

    • @GDuncan8002
      @GDuncan8002 5 месяцев назад +5

      That's absolutely horrible. God bless you.

  • @pattilawhorn
    @pattilawhorn 5 месяцев назад +4

    My husband made his first suicide attempt in our home, but was able to be revived. Unfortunately, he was coded so many times for so long. He was never the same and ultimately ended his life away from here. He wanted to make sure he would not be stopped. I cannot leave our home because it represents our happy years together. That’s why I’ve never dated since his passing in 1999. I still love him as much as ever.

  • @javaskull88
    @javaskull88 Год назад +37

    Five years ago my beloved husband fell in the bathroom and died of a resulting brain injury. Not the same as a suicide, which must be harder to accept, but still traumatic and devastating.
    Based on others’ guidance, I made no major decisions the first year. That was wise guidance, since my brains turned to scrambled eggs for awhile. I was incapable of making any good decisions.
    I continued to work, stayed close to my friends and church and God, and got counseling. The COVID struck the next year. Then my sister died the year after that. So much pain and grief. Then three major surgeries in the following two years. Through this all my house has been my safe place.
    Only now do I feel capable of making good decisions and plans. I’ll stay in this house until retirement, the sell and move to a simpler, more practical one-story place. I’m really glad I didn’t move back then, because it might not have been the right house and I might have had to move yet again.
    This is the right decision for me. Every widow and widower has their own road to travel. I don’t feel traumatized every time I’m in that bathroom. In fact, I rarely think of that anymore. I think about him constantly, but not the fall. This house is filled with live and good memories.

    • @donnafontaine2799
      @donnafontaine2799 Год назад +2

      ...God Bless...!

    • @WeiFinder
      @WeiFinder Год назад +5

      Thank you for sharing, and I fully empathize with your pain. However, to your initial point, I do believe when someone takes their own life on purpose inside your house, it is very very different and I feel I would personally need to get away from there.

    • @nmc1859
      @nmc1859 Год назад +1

      Thank you for sharing. I'm glad that you are working through the loss and pain and that you get to remember the good times in your home more than the traumatic. God Bless 💖🙏

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      A perfect post of your lived experience and very well communicated.
      Deepest respect for what you have lived through and best for your future.
      🕊💞

  • @AmeliaHuckleberry
    @AmeliaHuckleberry 5 месяцев назад +5

    I was in her position in 2015 and it took me 7 years to finally move (1800 miles away!). Staying there did a lot of damage to my health and I wish I had been strong enough to leave earlier. I hope this lady can do it quickly.

  • @BassBwoy3
    @BassBwoy3 Год назад +14

    I think this call gave me a window into what my mom may be feeling. In 2018, my mom and brother witnessed my dad take his last breath in our family home. My mom tried to resuscitate him and he didn't make it. Since then, she has stayed in that house by herself with our pets. She says it's not a eerie feeling in the house, but I wonder if she's telling herself the truth. We are clearing the house out to rent it out and we asked if she wanted to keep her wedding photos and she said to throw them away. There's still a sizable mortgage on the house so we're at a place where my mom will be leaving it in a few months to live overseas with me. I'm hoping this is a new start for her where she can breathe.

    • @lindalund9621
      @lindalund9621 6 месяцев назад +3

      Save photos etc maybe scan them with cellphone

    • @ginab6142
      @ginab6142 6 месяцев назад +2

      Don't thrown all of the wedding pictures away. She may want them one day. Perhaps a family member or friend could store them for a while.

  • @Charlies1970TA
    @Charlies1970TA 6 месяцев назад +3

    One of the most important conversations on here. Wonderful advice......."honor him by you be well"!

  • @pistolannie0714
    @pistolannie0714 5 месяцев назад +6

    Seven years ago, my 24-year-old son died of a fentanyl overdose in our home. There are so many memories here good and bad. I am divorced. I live here alone now my other son has moved out. The memories of us living here when my kids were growing up, and I was still married the good and the bad are torturing me. I love this house, but sometimes I think I need to move. I would have to live in an apartment. I’m sixty years old. Would I feel better or not?

    • @GDuncan8002
      @GDuncan8002 5 месяцев назад

      I have a son and I simply would not be able to stay there.

    • @lynnebucher6537
      @lynnebucher6537 5 месяцев назад

      I would suggest taking out pen and paper and making a list of pros and cons of staying versus moving. Emotional, financial, practical, etc. Put the pros and cons in separate columns, and then when you've pondered this for a while and have written down everything pro and con you can think of, review the paper and the correct answer for you may be more clear. I find that putting complicated decisions down on paper is useful, because it is hard to hold all of that in your head and be able to make a good and rational decision.
      Also consider the difficulties of maintaining a home as you age, especially if finances and/or health are a concern.

  • @murdahmammiez
    @murdahmammiez 5 месяцев назад +9

    All these people that have losed their spouse or children to suicide. Im so sorry. My heart aches for yall

  • @pamelazabell9478
    @pamelazabell9478 6 месяцев назад +10

    My son died in my house. I moved. Best thing I ever did. I live in a community where people are kind and caring. Never do I have to see some of the evil people I lived around.

    • @GDuncan8002
      @GDuncan8002 5 месяцев назад +1

      I'm so sorry. That sounds horrible.

  • @DominickSpano
    @DominickSpano Год назад +10

    Sometimes Dave comes across as crass or sassy, but honestly, to me he is always a gentleman in his way, especially when dealing with topics like this, and this is Dr. John's area so of course he is very helpful.

  • @jillgott6567
    @jillgott6567 Год назад +8

    Prayers for her heart her soul and her children.

  • @kevini4295
    @kevini4295 Год назад +9

    Don't always agree with Dave, but I do about 90% of the time!
    I wish I knew this poor lady personally, I am not a real estate agent, but sometimes you just need someone to help you clean out the house and ready for the market. Help her with the keep/get rid of decisions, those type of logistics.

  • @michellebeno6577
    @michellebeno6577 6 месяцев назад +9

    We had a family friend who's daughter committed suicide in their front yard. They sold the house right away. Within 2-3 months. Couldn't bear the image of walking out the front door and getting flashbacks. No one blamed them.

  • @Positiveenergy68
    @Positiveenergy68 Год назад +7

    Absolutely heartbreaking. Lots of prayers to this broken woman. 🙏❤️

  • @teripittman
    @teripittman Год назад +8

    My husband died of liver failure. I was so happy when I could finally move. I would be sad every time I went to a place we'd been to together. If you are strong enough to move, please do it.

  • @HollyBlair-wf3px
    @HollyBlair-wf3px 6 месяцев назад +4

    I’m a survivor and I took one look around my apartment one day and realized I was living in a daily memorial. One day I just woke up and realized I didn’t want to carry that and started giving things away. Then I grew up and on and moved away. That place will always be “a place” with baggage.

  • @С.А.Л
    @С.А.Л 6 месяцев назад +4

    Ramsey Show is first and foremost about kindness and great decency.

  • @suen5006
    @suen5006 Год назад +3

    This had me choked up. I too have a hard time giving away items I can't use that belonged to family members who are gone, but John is right, they will always be in my heart.

  • @mstokes8785
    @mstokes8785 6 месяцев назад +2

    I've never heard Dave speak SO Gently! Beautiful to watch

  • @Trinity9775
    @Trinity9775 6 месяцев назад +3

    I am so very sorry for your tragic loss. My husband passed away feb 12, 2023. I found him face down in the bathroom, I had to turn him over & see his purple face, I gave him cpr. I blamed myself for his death for so long & struggled with the idea of moving. Now, I no longer blame myself & we are moving. That took a lot of weight off my shoulders. My husband passed at 43yrs old of a massive heart attack, called the widow maker.

  • @smcb2202
    @smcb2202 Год назад +1

    Love that I heard this lady start to heal a little more. I am so sorry for your loss. Keep pushing forward.

  • @rhoadestraveled
    @rhoadestraveled 6 месяцев назад +6

    This story is so heartbreaking. I hope she went through with selling.

    • @ChrisAndCats
      @ChrisAndCats 5 месяцев назад

      I'd say not to until you get to grips. Rent somewhere else if you have to, but wait a bit of time, then decide.

  • @sophie20001
    @sophie20001 Год назад +3

    She articulated her feelings very well.

  • @bwestbrook90
    @bwestbrook90 Год назад +4

    My granddad is in my heart and not in this jacket is so good. My dad passed a little over a year ago and gave it by through the stuff has been agonizing because I want to be with him and having his stuff makes me feel like I am. There’s a lot of freedom in there

  • @SJ47668
    @SJ47668 5 месяцев назад +2

    My husband died in bed in our home (heart attack). Everyone told me not to make big decisions while grieving - and it was good advice - but, I got stuck there. I kept telling myself he was with me in the house. I could look over and see him in my minds eye doing routine things - how could I leave where all our memories were. Two and a half years later, someone approached me asking if I’d ever thought of selling - I thought about it for a couple of days, spoke to the kids (adults) and my sil - and called them back and said yes. They came over that weekend and made an offer. A month later, I was moving out. I moved down to Texas to be near my husband’s large family. It was the best thing I could have done. I can breathe here. I’m not obsessed with how and where I found him. I can smile again. I wake up and am glad I did so. My husband’s death was traumatic - 911 had me do cpr for 15-minutes before the emergency services arrived - even though it was obvious he was dead. I found this very traumatic and would relive it over and over again - since moving (a year ago next month), I feel free of that trauma.

  • @AGM-ts5bb
    @AGM-ts5bb Год назад +2

    Moving helped me move on from trauma to walking through the lengthy grief with God beside me. Yes, move. Also, invite your Minister and friends to come and pray over the house to bless those who will move in after with love and happiness, if you haven't already moved.

  • @amydoran9987
    @amydoran9987 Год назад +7

    I feel so sorry for this caller.She should definitely move into a new home and to start a new life.

  • @kimdrury6184
    @kimdrury6184 6 месяцев назад +1

    Same happened to me over 10 years ago, I moved right away!!! Life does go on, and gets better!! Hugzzzzz to Samantha!!

  • @MikeNapoli1989
    @MikeNapoli1989 Год назад +27

    I advise she leave. Sometimes it’s okay to move on.

    • @lindap.p.1337
      @lindap.p.1337 6 месяцев назад +2

      I think it is best for all to move on.

  • @catherineharcourt8592
    @catherineharcourt8592 5 месяцев назад +2

    Staying in home where loved one has died, can trigger so much trauma and sadness it retards the healing and moving on.

    • @catherineharcourt8592
      @catherineharcourt8592 5 месяцев назад

      3 years ago son died
      House is on market right now, l can’t live here.
      Bought a Van 3 months back to travel till l find my new home to start living again

  • @JasonGroom
    @JasonGroom 11 месяцев назад +3

    It is very rare that i agree with the advice from Dave and his staff 100%, this is one of those very rare times. As a married man, 20 years, i can not even imagine going to that bedroom alone every night, or even just sitting there in silence eating my dinner or watching TV. This lady is going through something horrible, second only to maybe if it was a child, and she needs to start fresh somewhere new that is hers.

  • @anaa03899
    @anaa03899 Год назад +1

    Samantha from a stranger I am with you whatever decision you take God bless you and give you strength.

  • @bluejedi723
    @bluejedi723 Год назад +7

    in this case, for callers mental health, sell the house and move.

  • @OleensEmbroidery
    @OleensEmbroidery Год назад +1

    I have always heard not to make any big decisions for at least 2 years after a trauma. In this case I think I would take this advice ASAP.

  • @EB-gt1pq
    @EB-gt1pq Год назад +81

    Please don’t commit suicide. There are people that love you. Their lives will be shattered without you.
    I have to tell myself this as well from time to time.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      Hello, ......💞

    • @barb7124
      @barb7124 6 месяцев назад +1

      My mom and husband dont love me. They told me Im a useless burden.

    • @joywebster2678
      @joywebster2678 6 месяцев назад +2

      No one would be shattered, nor notice if I passed. I'm not being dramatic, it is a statement of fact. So sweeping statements of saying that peop,e love you and will be shattered is not true for many people, and disrespect those of us whose life circumstances have created this void.

    • @StephenCarlockVO
      @StephenCarlockVO 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@barb7124 As a person whose parents communicated the same to them I really want you to know that is a reflection on them, not on you. Who they are drove them to say that. Not who you are. And that brokenness in them that spoke that to you is not worthy of becoming your identity.

    • @annettahollings424
      @annettahollings424 5 месяцев назад +3

      ​@@barb7124 God loves you. You are a treasure. You are valuable. You have so much to offer to the world. Surround yourself with people who will encourage you. Listen to good Christian music. Jesus lived you so much that he died for you. ❤❤

  • @fayesmith2406
    @fayesmith2406 Год назад +1

    Sad story but wonderful advise. Wishing her a good life & god bless u all.

  • @drfalcon4102
    @drfalcon4102 6 месяцев назад +5

    When My Wife Passed,, I wanted to get out of here so bad,, I even went to Florida to find a place, I put a deposit on a place,, and on the drive home to Tn, I got thinking, "ok, I have a good home,, why should I sell and spend money? " so I stayed,, now Im Happy I did..

    • @lynnebucher6537
      @lynnebucher6537 5 месяцев назад

      I have heard many times that it is best to not make any big life changes for at least a year after a spouse passes. It's pretty hard to think clearly during the early phases of grief. Glad you caught yourself before it was too late to stay in your TN home.

  • @jasonwest8464
    @jasonwest8464 5 месяцев назад

    Most moving Dave Ramsey call ever. Sending prayers to this lady everyday for life.

  • @P3rFecTiioNisT
    @P3rFecTiioNisT Год назад +4

    I am so sorry for this person and her family. I cannot understand what she feels and is going through
    I can tell this is also emotionally effects Dave @ 2:44 it’s almost as if he put himself in her shoes.
    Much respect for you Dave. Your are for the people. ❤

  • @keithshillan627
    @keithshillan627 Год назад

    John handled this situation perfectly. Incredible powerful and moving words

  • @MitchellMakesVids
    @MitchellMakesVids Год назад +3

    WOW! What an incredible story and clip. This will help many. I'm so sorry.

    • @MISNM0
      @MISNM0 Год назад

      While it "may help so many", so what?
      Samantha!!!! is the "client". This is about her alone. If in that help is gleaned, great. But this isn't about the masses.
      To me- saying things like this is harmful.

  • @ubaldoguzmanmartinez
    @ubaldoguzmanmartinez 6 месяцев назад

    Tragic and beautiful video.
    Everyone needs people in their life to talk to. Happy Dr. Delony and Mr. Ramsey where there for that lady. God bless her.

  • @The_Psycho_Red_Ranger
    @The_Psycho_Red_Ranger 5 месяцев назад +3

    With no more mentors left in my life I plan on ending it all soon, I give up on life. I wish you guys best of luck in your future endeavors. To the people who tried to help me, thank you for the wonderful years of vibrant life you have bestowed upon me, even during my darkest hours, but now I must depart from this sick twisted world we live in so I can live peacefully in the afterlife. Take care!

    • @Kristen-ek9rz
      @Kristen-ek9rz 5 месяцев назад

      I am so sorry. You are in my prayers for healing and peace.

  • @Kelly-ui5zm
    @Kelly-ui5zm 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you so much for your kindness and compassion to this woman. I cried through most of this. So touching.... it is so hard when you lose your spouse.