Estranged Husband Demanded I Pay Child Support For His Affair Child, Did Not End Well For Them. AITA
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- Story 1:
AITA for having my husband fired?
Story 2:
AITA for making a scene in public?
Story 3:
AITA for telling my wife that she should stop constantly expecting appreciation and just get on with her job of being a SAHM?
Story 4:
AITA for telling my side of the story?
#AITA #Relationships #Family
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Story 2: 5:48
Story 3: 8:24
Story 4: 14:52
Pfft. My ex cheated and that was fine with his family as well apparently, but as soon as I went out with someone else after we were done, I was a terrible person and disloyal. Ridiculous hypocrisy and toxicity.
LOL. Did we have the same In laws?
🤦🏿♀️
I don't think some of these people have there brains on. Victim blaming is so stupid it doesn't matter who does it.
He had a choice to keep it in his pants too but he took a risky approach and just blamed his gf for his poor choices of cheating and he just expected her to be responsible for his kids that's dumb he's not thinking right because whoever gets left with a kid needs to figure it out on there own.
I can't see him thinking it's okay for somebody to gold dig in his wallet and make him help raise her kids.
I'm convinced all of them would bail even the clingy ones would have a temper and be selfish about it if they had to support some other guys kid after she cheated on him.
They have no case there it is kind of there responsibility to figure it out if there an adult.
They can't demand help from anyone there's plenty of ways to get help without demanding child support from someone that didn't sleep with them.
Just the same way if my bf gets himself arrested after I warned him not to not to get in a fight and he does it anyways to be rebellious then the crime is on him that one individual that made the mistake. Not everybody else around him he should know better I would say the same if he were a grown woman.
It is hard to gain back respect from anyone if they can't be trusted. She doesn't owe him anything. Its not her child.
Did you ever call them out on their double standards and/or make it public knowledge?
They don't have a say in your life now not ever if they don't like it then can turn away
Story #1: of course the abusive and cheating husband choose someone in a position of power below him as affair partner. But given that the AP is apparently no better, I really only pity the child
This. That poor child is gonna be a monster
@@Davimez Or sniveling wreck. It's always one or the other.
What kind of backwater country gives you a restraining order against your husband but doesn't let you divorce him what kind of bullshit is this NTA GIRL
Probably the religious kind.
Poland. Israel. Entire chunks of the S American and African continents? Divorce is illegal in the Philippines, but you can get an RO. Your idea of divorce isn't widely shared by the rest of the world.
2yrs later, & Trump’s choice for vp, Vance, wants the laws allowing divorce to be restricted, so in a few months, that “backwater country” could be the US😕
#2 NTA You need to leave this a*hole. Like YESTERDAY. This is abuse. Emotional and physical. It will get worse. Get OUT!
Story 2: I would think trying to vacuum his girlfriend's face would make quite a scene. And obviously he does, too, if he wants to draw even more attention to it. Nobody should care if it was a boring post, so the fact that he expects a reaction from strangers tells me that what he did in itself is unusual enough to not be normal. Well, that, and vacuuming people's faces isn't normal. Under certain conditions it could even be dangerous.
He is disgusting.
Hire your wife a babysitter and tell her to get a job. She will go back to stay at home wife soon enough when she realizes what a real job is.
Story #2: I used to work at a gas station. Those vacuums are absolutely disgusting. Drug addicts use them to clean their cars regularly, so you could be coming into contact with whatever they had on the carpet (be it drugs, fluids, or just nasty trash). Then you got parents tryna cleanup a kids new mess, people who went off roading, or anything else. I would've punched my bf in the throat if he tried that on me
The stay at home mom story, it's depends on how their dynamics of the relationship. Like does he ever help after shift and in the weekends? Does he do his job as husband (come up with initiatives like date nights, thoughtful gift at special dates, organize travels and getaways, even just for her like a spar day, etc) and father (taking care of the children when not working)? If the answer to those questions are yes, NTA. They defined their job in the family, it's their obligation, obligations doesn't need to be rewarded when their are done. Not for adults or even teenagers, you may do positive reinforcement to teach kids to always do them and develop discipline around them. The expectation of the wife would actually be turning her into a houssmaid and babysitter, they need to be compensated materially because they are doing this for themselves (their jobs into building their family that their wanted).
Love language is a two way street, is not only about demand people treat you in your love language but also learning to appreciate the gesture of affection from the love language of your partner. Like things you took for granted and didn't think as demonstration of affection, becomes daily show of affection. The guy's works to provide for her and their children (his obligations he took willing) AND give her free/easy access to money whenever she likes. Basically he produces but the money it THEIRS, he doesn't treat it as his money. This is not appreciation? She certainly see what she brings to him to the table in the relationship as a show of affection and appreciation for him (and she is right and he recognized it, so he doesn't ask more of her).
If she is burnout, what she should be asking is not meaningless things like chocolates and shit, but for making arrangements with him for her to have one or two weekends off to relax per month. With him taking full child care, taking the kids out to the grandparents or something like that.
I think you misunderstood. She doesn't want the chocolate bar just to have a chocolate bar, cause she can get that herself. She wanted her husband to get her something nice, even as small as a chocolate bar. And she can feel burned out by not being appreciated and feeling taken for granted, but its more so with her marriage than with being a sahm
@@Ashbrash1998 I understood clearly, the thing is him giving her random gift just for existing (or doing her obligations) is a unreasonable expectation. Not because it a lot to ask, but why just her need to be treated as special in relationship for just doing her part?
@@VitorHugoOliveiraSousa This is exactly my issue with Reddit. The wife is doing her job as SAHM, and the husband is doing his job by providing. They can both be more appreciative and affectionate, but universally telling OP "YTA" like a fact is just wrong.
Ok that makse no sense. If the wife is able to get a restraining order, than how the hell isn't that enough to justify a divorce? If a court looks at a couple and thinks "yeah you two should not be in the same room together" than what's the point of forcing them to stay married?
I like this narrator....accent is strange but also strangely like comfort food (I live in the south, lol)
probably from Philippines, their page says it.
Story 3- she cooks AND cleans up? No no no no! Husband needs to clean up while she sits down and relaxes a bit. We've been married 37 years, and the person who cooks, the other cleans up. While we were working with kids, when our kids married and moved out, now that we are retired. It's just fair.
Story 3 NAH, the wife is not wrong for wanting OP to do some small things to show he appreciates her and what she does. However, OP is not wrong in saying that she does nothing to show that she appreciates him either. They both should be thanking each other and showing appreciation towards each other through small gestures. OP could start by buying his wife a candy bar like she asked, and she could return the favor by buying his favorite beer or making his favorite meal once in a while. Appreciation is a two-way street.
that is assuming she isn't already doing those things and OP isn't just taking it as his due and ignoring the sentiment
@@sfsin3380 You raise a valid point she could be doing those things already in an attempt to show OP she cares. However, if he doesn't feel the sentiment then we are back at start of this whole mess. Also, the Wife could be so focused on what she does at the home that she is unintentional over-estimating her work while downplaying OP's job outside of the home.
Story 1: OP is NTA. Those concerned friends and family can help Richard and his side chick and kids. Also, they conveniently ignored that Richard ignored the restraining order. OP, get the divorce filed and done with. Show the court that you have a restraining order against him and that he has no interest in mediation.
Jokes are subjective, saying it's not a joke unless both people think it's funny is bullshit. 50% is way more than enough to be considered funny.
Last Story: NTA
"Stop telling the truth when people call you cheater! you are hurting the jealous liar!" ... like what? how does one come to that conclusion that people need to confirm a lie because the liar gets hurt? oO
On the one hand I sympathise with her, on the other hand it's a double-standard: in some states if your wife gets pregnant and you divorce her because the kid's not yours (i.e. you got a paternity test) then you still have to pay child support. Our world is f*ed up.
The story about the car wash vacuum hose, my husband is a manager at a car wash and he said the nastiest place in a car wash is those vacuum hoses, ppl suck some of everything in there... anything you can think of in a car goes in that hose, it touches soooooo many different carpets...yuk eewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Story with phone on face story: cup check him, HARD, video tape it and then tell him it was a joke and then post it 🤣😂🤣
op didn't get hubby fired, the secretary at her company did.
Wow, vacuum story, the OP needs to chill out. This kind of thing is literally done all the time by like 90% of people, it isn't as if it was some kind of malicious insanity, like he dunked it in the toilet and then did it. What a baby
found the boyfriend
Story one makes me mad, the court failed her and she needs to dump those so called friends , like wtf they agree with his crapy views
@@adambartlett114 it's a tad more complicated, expensive, and messy than 'just move', especially if it's found your visa application was actually predicated on divorce. Furthermore, she shouldn't HAVE to leave HER family just to escape him.
@A H Yeah, this, so people know not to move there.
@A H Israel makes it d@mn near impossible for a woman to file for a divorce her husband isn't willing to sign off on. Divorce isn't legal in the Philippines - period - you're going to go to your grave married to that person (one way or another) unless you can afford the added cost and massive complications of moving to a country where you can get one. There are about seven Asian countries where it's complete nightmare fuel to even attempt it, any European country that has a strongly held Abrahemic belief system (goes double if there's a state religion tax) will make it as difficult on you as possible. The Middle East has some brutal ideas about it. Even certain US states make it a right PITA if they're strongly 'at fault'. Divorce, filed by women, is a very modern concept in the over all concept of legal marriage in general.
So in story 1 the husband had a baby with his mistress. He was also his mistresses boss. So that means they both had jobs. Ignoring the fact that it's plum crazy to expect your wife to pay child support for your affair baby......why in the hell does he think a child with 2 working parents deserves child support from a third party?
Entitlement
"My wife won't obey me, so I must crush everything until she is a broken and submissive little slave," would be my line on that asshat's mentality
And according to op, they are not even in a country that allows multiple marriages at the same time. And even then if they were, that has no logic. Op probably has high paying job and they want that money, that's why he refuses the divorce.
Believe it or not this happens to men all the time
@@ladyfaeryj5108 Yes. Thank God for DNA tests. There is no question of who pops out a baby, but who seeded it not so much.
If he's so convinced that the wife is the root of all unhappiness in his life, sign the divorce papers, manbaby.
He enjoys the control. She said he is abusive so that fits it perfectly.
I am surprised she can have RO snd even that won't grant her divorce.
@@duckeh1952 This. Plus, with her being stuck in this "marriage", she can't move on and fine happiness with someone else. The guy's just despicable.
@@duckeh1952 Israel is a country that plays this game regularly with women who file for divorce, as does Poland and many countries in the Middle East, S America, and African Continent. Your idea of a divorce is a very Western centric (UK/US primarily) one that simply doesn't exist in large chunks of the world. It's not even legal in the Philippines.
Story1: Huge NTA, this is even a question? Richard is a human garbage fire, same for his family. OP didn't even do anything, he knowingly violated a protection order. This is entirely on him. Stupid games, stupid prizes. Glad OP's work has her back.
But why is he “insisting on meditation”? I don’t think that will help.
@@michaelwest2141 So he can screw with OP. Mess with her life, keep some control over her. Because he's a douchebag.
@@michaelwest2141 I think they meant mediation.
Like, if the ex is living with his new partner and has kids with her HOW is that seen as "trying to fix the marriage"? It doesn't make any sense, especially with the RO's and everything. And what, HOW could she be responsible for the child her cheating husband had with his mistress? I can see how there can be doubt when it's the wife cheating as paternity used to be hard to prove but she didn't give birth which makes it obvious it's an affair baby. Absolutely insane situation and everyone around OP has lost their minds, except the employers.
There are so many countries that absolutely view women as hysterical when they go for a divorce from a cheating, abusive partner. All he has to do is tell the court he wants to reconcile, and she may as well not exist in the room.
@@pansprayers That's so sh!tty.
@@spheres0082 it is indeed, shitty af
I think I probably wouldn’t have worried about taking to court for divorce. I wouldn’t have been anywhere near so nice.
In my country, marriage and divorce was largely based on religion (you need to get the marriage certificate from your religion´s minister to submit your marriage to the country and do the paperworks like changing the ID status, etc. Same with divorce).
Legally, the law only acknowledged a monogamous marriage, but the biggest religion did permit a man to marry more than one women. So in that case, the man would legally married to one woman, but his marriage with his other mistresses would still be recorded and acknowledged by the religion, complete with the religion marriage-certificate. The children too, would be largely considered as the family´s children, not the birth-mother´s children. Especially the legal wife was expected to behave as if they are her own children, and in turn, she also have the right to discipline, or deciding things for the children as if she´s the birth mother (sometimes even more authority).
Sometimes, since some men don´t ask permission to take mistresses, the women do lived in separate house so the husband normally did spend less (or almost no) time with one partner. Still, in OP´s situation and with what OP´s husband claimed (if there´s no RO), he could actually turned himself to be the victim because the husband is theoretically responsible to be fair to all his 'wives' and he´s "just trying to be a responsible husband and spend some time with the mistress but OP got unreasonable and kick him out of the house and refused to meet him again, so it´s not my fault we never meet again. I#ve tried, I swear I really do."
(although I seriously can´t understand how can the court grant the RO while still buying her husband´s "trying to fix the marriage" BS).
Story#2 OP Had a normal reaction. That is disgusting and the BF is a jerk and needs to be dumped.
Story 2: Brian Laundrie murdered his girlfriend Gabby Petito, the last time she was seen alive it was at *her* van in a gas station where he specifically provoked her to get an extreme reaction and literally tried to drive off without her. She literally climbed into the van as it moved so she wouldn’t be stranded on their road trip. When police confronted them Brian downplayed the situation by painting her to be overly hysterical and blamed her for being “irrational”. Never tolerate an SO dismissing your feelings and saying you “can’t take a joke,” like so many other women are raised to do.
*Run*
while this is true, This was more kin to a physical prank more than a joke and not a very funny or good one. I won't provoke someone like this at all and never will. But If I say someone thing dark once in a while as a joke because of something I read or said and get a visceral reaction like I pushed them into a river, I'm not saying that isn't a red flag either, I know plenty of people who think jokes are only jokes if they don't offend anyone these days. But if I say anything that might not be kindest during a "joke". Like when you see some guy who died in a hale of bullets infront of their house. I sometime say things like, So any bets on whether this was a hit, random drive by or a disgruntled employee." not funny but I except all takers.
Also, look at the situation in a political joke too. I could also be right winger here and say "See, the vaccine not only made her unable to take a joke but also her health. That obviously make her a right-wing conspiracy theorist. How dare she blame the vaccine?" again this is more sarcasm than joke but from the things I read as a vaccinated person, this is totally the response she would likely get on twitter.
Story #2, if someone does/says "just joking" it means "I am a narcissistic bully and you should drop me until I grow into a decent human being."
Yep, super bright red flag alert!
Yes. People who love their partners don't subject them to cruel jokes.
I hope he posts it just so people b-tch him out and make him feel like the AH
OP should say: "If it's a joke then why am I not laughing." Claiming that bullying is a joke is what bullies do when they're called out. NTA
Human trash. Dump bf.
Ok 1 OP DIDNT get him fired! He wouldn’t leave the receptionist not OP told him she would call his work if he didn’t leave, he refused and so she did. Chances are OP didn’t even know he was there
OP said she knew, that said her not coming out is not something he can blame his firing on refusing to leave when all it takes is for the right/wrong (depending on real and his perspective respectively) person to find out the kid is his and the AP's and they would both be fired.
…What tf kind of mental gymnastics do you have to do to say “hey can you stop telling people the truth, cause it’s making the liar feel bad when people find out she’s lying”
NTA OP and yeah, get new friends.
I think they said it was that one friend (From what was said, everyone else stuck with them, other then the few that spread the lie, they should join this "Space Cadet" in the no friend zone). So time to drop that friendship. Mary's laying in the bed she made for herself. Fuck off trying to spare her the consequences. I never feel pity for idiots who start something then have it blow up in their face! Victim Blaming is fucking pathetic and a Red Flag on what type of person you are to side with that aggressor because "they're feelings be hurt!"
@ASK GIRL Hey man, I like your channel lady but posting your videos in other people's channel is super tacky.
My level of respect went down for you for this.
Not a good look.
Story 2: you should always move to distance yourself from people on tiktok. Literally everything I've heard about tiktok is people doing dumb pranks that often hurt people.
Someone needs to tell this guy he is not funny.
... dagnabbit, I think RUclips erased my comment again.
TikTok is a platform, not a content. There are certainly plenty of dumb pranks and horrible people, there are conspiracy theories passed around as sound bites... but then there are things like the Wellerman remix, or Neurodivergent TikToks. The group artistry of The Wellerman is astounding, and shows what I love about remix culture. The Autism and ADHD TikToks are informative, offering a window into brains that work a little differently and the struggles that they face living in a neurotypical world.
So don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. (Though OP's boyfriend can certainly be thrown out with the trash. As can anyone whose reaction to "ugh I hate that, stop" is to get moody about how *they* feel for not being able to "joke" with you.)
@@Arkylie After hearing wellerman remixes over the radio at work... we do not need any more. I love sea shanties. I love a bunch of lads getting together to sing some shanties. I do not love a bunch of people singing a song "because tiktok". Because it's for the same braindead reasoning people have done so much dumb shit to people who care about them. "I almost burned down the house because tiktok. I smashed your things because tiktok." It's worse than twitter.
Neurodivergent tiktoks are actually pretty funny, to be honest. "I'm only attracted to people once I've developed an emotional attachment to them!" "Dude, that's just being a conservative romantic! It's not a sexuality!"
Just a couple days ago I was watching "I have thirty people in my head and most of them are men so I'm transitioning. My parents don't understand me and my life is awful, wish me luck."
Reminds me of that mitchell and webb sketch about the boy with an arse for a face. I can claim I'm watching out of support or interest, but really I just want a good look at the freak.
And let's not forget "The Roman Empire didn't exist. It's made up. And I'll call you a white supremacist for disagreeing with me."
@@Arkylie the platform is garbage, don't try to defend it. Seconds long short is not a format that you can pass meaningful information in any deep form. And the way feed works AI choosing what you see, and no way to string short to talk about the same thing (the way people use to circumvent the same limitations on Twitter or stories on Instagram and such) means that this is the objective of the platform. It's a platform for dopamine shots one after the other, to get you hooked and sell adds. Technically all social media are this, but Tik Tok is the ultimate evolution of it with every other possible use of the platform stripped. It will create a generation of people with the attention spam of a mouse, like Twitter created a generation that thinks 4 lines is a wall of text.
The baby is dead, throw the basket out and buried the baby. If there any not garbage content in Tik Tok they will fit just fine in less garbage and destructive platforms.
@@VitorHugoOliveiraSousa Exactly, I was thinking while writing my previous comment "It just appeals to the worst elements of social media".
It's like Bo Burnham in Welcome to the Internet. "Mommy let you use her ipad, you were barely two, and it did all the things we designed it to do." "Could I interest you in everything all of the time?"
Story 2: NTA. Its a form of gaslighting when someone teases you to tears, and then says you overreacted. Please dump him, he will only get worse.
And be brutal, and film it for a TikTok "reaction video"!
Exactly!!!! I came here to say that. My dad did this shit. He would say nasty things and if you got offended, you can’t take a joke. And if you laugh, they were being serious and you should know you suck for whatever statement they made.
Boyfriend sounds like "It's a Prank" Bro. And those gas station vacuums are absolutely dirty.
Story 3 appears that they have different love languages. She desires words of affirmation and gifts of appreciation while he desires physical touch.
Studies have shown that mothers of young children tend to not desire sex as much due to a lot of physical touch from their children. No, they don't look at their children sexually but a sense of intimacy is met by someone touching and hanging on the mother for most of the day. It does sound like she's burned out, even with daycare and at this point, intimacy feels like another "chore" on her plate.
Being a SAHM is a 24-hr on call job. I say couples therapy is required because it sounds like they're talking AT each other and each side is too resentful to move forward.
Well said. 👍
Doesn’t matter. Love your partner the way they need to be loved or fuck off
Story 2... dump the boyfriend with the vacuum. He's an total AH. It wasn't funny.
My husband and I both work full time and overtime when available. No kids yet. I do the majority of the housework by my own accord (kinda ocd lol) but I struggle with depression and some weeks I just get in a slump and let the household chores fall. My husband always picks up the slack without complaint. We consistently thank each other when we do dishes, make dinner, laundry, whatever it is. It’s so easy just to say thanks babe I appreciate you. My husband brings me home my fav treats all the time if he’s out running errands and when I go grocery shopping I always try to make sure I get his favorites while I am there. It’s so easy! It takes three seconds to say thank you and three seconds to grab a candy bar at the register wherever you are! Hopefully op sees how easy of a fix this is because it really is!!
It really does take just a little bit. Here is all the hope for your marriage as it travels through life. What you and your husband have is special.
@@scorpiocarnage1055 you just made my day, thank you so much!! We have had are share of ups and downs but nine years together, six years married and going strong!! Thank you for your kindness and I wish you much happiness in your relationships as well!!
@@Brittanyknuckles1427 Thank you very much.
That sounds amazing my husband and I also have this relationship but we do let the cleaning slide a bit 😅🤣 communication and appreciation really goes a long way.
Sadly, the hard part isn't showing respect and appreciation. The hard part is deciding to stop being a jerk and sticking with it. I bet the OP was surprised at being called out for being a jerk. I suspect he expected people to back up his argument instead. Usually when someone says, "Okay, you can stop..." it's code for, "Shut up. I don't want to hear it anymore."
Tik Tok - creator of a-holes.
"Him and his family believes if the child was conceived in the marriage the other party should accept them even if it's from adultery." I bet that 'belief' only goes one way. If you were to show up with a side piece's baby, I doubt they'd accept it. I doubt it would be okay for YOU to be 'with several people'.
Lots of wives and our court system believes that in the USA.
@@peteranon8455 let's not go there, and we'll call it a day, hey? There's a reason the court system so massively over corrected in the US starting about 50 years ago. It doesn't make it right, and still needs work, but the past was the worst, and your red-pill fantasy doesn't wash well.
I'm surprised that my ex husband didn't think of this scam!
@@pansprayers I'm not sure about the wife part but he's right about the courts.
In the first story the OP literally did nothing wrong. He harassed her and it was the company the reported him. He is disgusting.
Story 1: O.O It's sooo bizarre. Can OP move out of the state? Country? I would put as much as distance of that character, mistress, family and Not friends.
Yep. Hopefully the company has connections to transfer her elsewhere far away from them.
@@scorpiocarnage1055 nope. Moving out of her country would make it even more time consuming, complicated, and she'd likely be denied a Visa with these pending legal issues hanging over her. You're applying US/UK citizen values and privilege to a person who unfortunately doesn't have that luxury.
@@pansprayers Nowhere did I say moving out of the country. Although that would also be a nice option, if the country is sizeable enough, then all she has to do is move to another town/city that takes hours to get to. I'm applying HUMAN values thank you very much. It's better for safety and peace of mind to put distance between disturbing individuals who want to ruin your life if it is possible to move.
@@scorpiocarnage1055 still won't help, friend. Civil court is generally jurisdictional, not country-wide. Moving creates a jurisdictional conflict on several fronts, including those of residency. Again, moving solves NOTHING here, especially since, if she stays within the same legal system that views her as 'less than' within the confines of a marriage. You quite literally seem to not understand what is going on here. Rather than screaming at me over it, try educating yourself and advocating for a change.
@@pansprayers You are the one adding a whole bunch of stuff. Did I mention court? No. Did I mention moving out of country? No. Why don't you learn how to communicate with people before you get on your high horse? Apparently you haven't learned what happens when you assume. Since you're too dense to understand, she cannot be there on the social scale. That's what I was thinking about. Her ex knows where she lives and harasses her. He has a bunch of flying monkeys to support him. It's not wrong to be able to move to an environment where your emotional, physical, and mental health aren't being threatened. And last I CHECKED, no court mandates you have to live in the same household. You just have to be available with a verifiable address/contact information that is still a reasonable distance for you to make it to court. The only time a court mandates you to stay in a house is if you are under house arrest which she isn't. You're wrong. Have a nice day.
Story 3
It's not about doing her job and getting praised, it's showing appreciation for her, her feelings and your relationship.
Like a chocolate bar cost less than $5. This is what it will cost to keep your marriage. $5. And you're too dense to see that?
You can't wash the dishes? Cant pick up the chocolate bar? Can't let her have a nice bath? Can't let her have an hour to herself? Can't do ONE NICE THING for her?
She should show some appreciation towards him as well then. Why is it always the man, that has to treat the woman? Appreciation shouldn't be one-sided.
@@multifan6679 wait, does she not take care of their kids? Does she not cook and clean? Does she not do her job as a parent so that he can focus on work? How is she not showing appreciation? Just say you're an idiot and go.
It's like working outside the home. I don't expect thanks for things I do at work that I GET PAID TO DO. OP has a point. His wife should not expect thanks and being spoiled for doing something SHE CHOSE TO DO.
@@multifan6679 Sounds like the wife is all take and no give. Like, "I want this to make me feel special." She has the money. Buy her own damn chocolate bar!
Nobody thanks dads for supporting the family what do they get the big piece of chicken. Where’s the hey dad thanks for the lights internet and mortgage payments? Sahm need to get over themselves especially since op helps take care of the house after 5 when he’s off work.
1st story, OP it's not your child, so it's not your problem. Also Rickard got himself fired. Why does OP need the courts permission to divorce. It's your choice to divorce or not. OP NTA.
You do know that not every country grants divorce, just because you want it, right? Especially if you're female - file for divorce as a woman in about a dozen countries I can think of off of the top of my head as a woman, and your abusive ex is almost promised everything you own, including the kids, your family home that was passed down from your family, and the bank account he is required to have his name on because he's the male.
HAH! Richard and his side-piece just f’d themselves right over! Wonder if the name ‘Richard’ is a name chosen on purpose? Because he is a ‘Richard,’ a huge one…bet he brought that baby with him to use as a guilt trip and a meat shield!
Story 4: Mary is defaming your character, and depending on where you live she can be sued for it. Inform her that if you hear one more person relate/defend this lie to you one more time, you will take legal action against her.
This
Makes me think the "Friend" who suggested holding their tongue is firmly on Mary's side and is taking advantage of OP still counting them as a friend to help Mary by trying (stupidly) to convince OP and her husband to just let themselves get defamed!
boyfriend put that Dirty thing on your face? so gross. he needs to go. that is so not funny.
The second story got me in a fight with my dad and I realized he's such an asshole, holy shit he really just said "well that's her job she signed up to be a stay at home parent" gag.
The vacuum problem reminds me of that one Jenna Marbles video where Julian puts her boot heel in her mouth.
The issue isn't silly pranks. It's a hygiene issue. Fucking gross.
I was going to side with the guy who's wife wanted to be complimented on simply doing her job as a stay home mom until I read it. Yea he's the A hole and if his attitude doesn't change he's going to be the divorced or cheated on A hole. If I was him I would be right now buying out the store of chocolate bars and begging forgiveness. A thank you and a unexpected candy bar now and again would be greatly appreciated and a small price compared to a divorce. Giving her a day off once a month wouldn't hurt either.
Last story; NTA. Obviously. Set the record straight and if she doesn't knock off her nonsense then file against her.
OP2, mate, stop dating children. What, this is an over 18? Yeah, then, red flag for an a-hole or someone trying to test how far he can abuse you. Either way... run!
Last story- "don't tell the truth because it'll hurt her feelings that people will find out she was lying" is literally one of the stupidest things I've heard all day
If them finding out she's lying hurts her feelings, then maybe she shouldn't be lying.
@ASK GIRL with respect, it's really annoying and a bit disrespectful that you keep jumping on the comments on this channel just to advertise a completely unrelated story on yours. There's better and less rude ways to promote your channel
It's driving me in the opposite direction! If anything from that channel comes up for me as an option, I ignore it! And I hope others do too!
If I was the wife I would have started looking for a job once the twins are a little older in school.
Richard got himself fired his whole family is slow af . What tf kind of country and values they have
I dont understand what kind of backwards logic is in granting her a restraining order against her husband but not a divorce.
How does this happen?
First story: in a way it's a good thing that human rubbish of an ex is not a woman and OP a man, because if that was a case, OP would be in the eyes of law considered a parent and forced to pay for the child that wasn't hers. But heck, the waste trying to pull the "mistress is "a surrogate" crap" really shows what a vile human being he is. OP needs to get an excellent lawyer and get divorced ASAP and also being prepared for the rubbish to try to get alimony from her, NTA
I'm gagging! People vacuum up vomit and other filth from their backseats with those. That wouldn't be funny ever. The fact that he planned to put it on tik tok would have made me violent.
Story 1: NTA OP you need to cut everyone off and move to a different country
That's going to make it even more difficult, costly and time consuming, IF she can even get a Visa. 'Just move' is such a stupid, over simplified babbling on that generally comes from people who've never done so.
OP, I had my Booster last month. It took 5 days for the after effects to stop. The 1st 3 days were the worst. So I don't think you over reacted at all. He is gas lighting you. His stupid stunt for Tick Tock was just that! Stupid. I think you need to get away from that BF for a few days!
He totally is. Either that or he is just a complete idiot who has been sucked into TikTok, but I am betting that it has been little things that have slowly built up over time, to wear her down and isolate her from support sources, so he can flex his power over her by putting her down and be generally abusive. And if it were me, it wouldn’t be his face I be shoving that nasty-@$$ thing into! Because it is ‘just a joke, right?!’ Hahaha!
Even if OP wasn't feeling crappy from her booster... Even if the vacuum hose wasn't so disgusting... THIS (AND MOST ALL TICK-TOCK CHALLENGES) IS ABUSE!
@@bun04y Exactly. Those vacuums will cause bruises on less delicate areas like thighs and arms - a face? That can break some very delicate tissues, bones and cartilage apart, and that's buy putting them half an inch from the skin.
The standard vacuum at car wash places is STRONG, much, much stronger than a house vacuum, and you can't cut it off because it's on a timer. At the very least, it would leave a hellish bruise and much worse because it couldn't be removed. The boyfriend was committing assault. OP has been brainwashed to think this abusive crap is a joke, and it isn't. Get out of that relationship.
His employers give him raises and congratulations when he does a good job because they benefit him from his work. His wife wants similar things.
Op how unappreciated does your wife feel if some thing small like a bar of chocolate will make her feel appreciated. Wife works 24/7. She can’t clock out. She doesn’t get a day off. Lol thank you is not a love language, washing the dishes while wife takes a bath is a love language. Lol my ex husband used to bring me home a .25 snack cake from the place he put gas in the car, something that small made me feel special because he thought of me at that moment while we were apart.
Lol I'll trade her my 16 hr shifts of being in the sewer system doing repairs and having to wear a diving suit to check on underwear sectors for damage. Being a sahp is easy as hell.
As a woman and a teacher, she can shut the heck up. She feels unappreciated? What is she doing to appreciate and worship her hubby? What is she doing outside of her portion of labor?
The wife needing support in the form of appreciation and validation and clearly asking for it is her reaching out. If he ignores it, she realizes she can go out and find a person who can do both work and say thank you an appreciate her
Nonsense. She willingly agreed to be a stay at home mom. Does she buy him gifts for supporting her? No she doesn't. If she wants to change their arrangement fine but she doesn't deserve a medal.
The story of the SAHM.. how about OP taking his wife out once a month for date night or if they can’t he could cook her a meal on the weekends..
@@TheRationalist. being a sahm doesn't mean she doesn't deserve appreciation. Buy her some damn flowers. Take the kids for a few hours on the weekends so she can decompress. I'm red pilled big time, but I'm not stupid or unappreciative of my wife.
@@TheRationalist. This is why people like you end up divorced and then totally “blindsided “ by it; Because you treat your significant other like a business transaction instead of a human being. She clearly just wants a better emotional relationship with her husband, who apparently is in his own self centered little bubble. Her gift is the fact that she physically made him children and gives him an amazing home to come to. She wants to be his WIFE NOT HIS MOTHER.
@@TheRationalist. you and OP seem to have a difficult time understanding the difference between a partner and an employee.
I love the fact that op in the first story is the awful person because her restraining order was followed LMFAO op NTA and tell em all to piss off.
Got to blame someone, otherwise it's all Golden Boy (Husband's) fault. Fuck that! Is what's going through that family mind (I mean she did say, they were a special type of entitled, seeing how what they think a marriage is, isn't the same as what they're COUNTRY thinks a Marriage is! Says something with how he gamed the system to assure she couldn't divorce him.....till she got introduced to a good divorce lawyer who finally helped her cut that ass for good!)
Last Story: A really good friend? A really good friend?!?!?
Am I missing something? But this is not a 'friend' let alone a 'really good friend' - this is M's Flying Monkey nothing else, drop the jerk and let everyone in the friend group know why (as a warning to get them to watch their backs around Flying Monkey). No friend would ever tell you to "stop telling the truth" in response to lies spread around.
What kind of system is in place that if somebody wants a divorce they won't Grant divorce for the person shouldn't be mutual consent if one person told me the relationship anymore it should be over I don't care like I don't want to be tied to this person no more that is crazy and why would she be on the hook for his child it's not her child it's his child bro
SAHM story... how hard is it to say "Thank you honey" "I appreciate what you do" "You do a good job"? Takes my husband just a couple seconds. Every now and then, he also buys me something (well, us, like stuff to make smores together or local beer to split at the end of the day).
OP did say she didn't thank him for what he does. I actually do thank my husband for working and providing. And a lot of times he does respond in kind. I'll say he also has coworkers thank him, and customers, SAHMs don't have that extra.
The way he called it "bending the knee". He has an ego of scary proportions.
Legit all she asked was to be spoiled a TINY bit every so often. Spoil your partner with a single gosh darn chocolate bar sometimes! I can't believe people need to be told to be nice to their partners!
I did find it weird that he seemed to make buying a chocolate bar equate to “bending the knee”. But the way he writes makes it seem like he’s not used to this type of affirmation himself. Honestly I don’t think it’s solely a husband’s job to show gratitude, it’s the job of both spouses & is necessary for a healthy relationship, it needs to be reciprocal. Honestly they both need counseling.
Yep. Early on, I actually didn't realize my husband needed to hear thank you more often than I do. I never heard my mom and dad do that. Hubs and I discovered this in therapy, and now we're much happier. I had said thank you, but not often enough, and not on the "right" things.
Seriously y'all, therapy is awesome. 😁
@@lisadgingersnaps9843 I remember the first time I told him I was thankful for how safe he made me feel. He loved hearing that! It's interesting the little things that stand out. He thanked me for saying that, and later asked why/how so I told him my reasons and then that started a whole discussion as to why that made him feel so good and he's happy to make me feel safe.
Stay at home mom story. Question : You can't even buy her a chocolate bar? You are neglecting her. Marriage counseling NOW.
She’s being abused by him and his family even tho they aren’t together. Omg he’s atrocious and she still has abusers mind to even doubt herself here. She did NOTHING.
“I essentially said this to her and now I am wondering if I am the AH?” Me: 😬
So glad that the hubby on story#3 was gracious about being piled upon.
Maybe he will start getting her or doing those little things that will make his wife feel more appreciated.
It really does not take that much of a gesture to make such a difference..
Honestly, OP, think of showing your wife appreciation and that you love her as preventive maintenance for your relationship. It's as important for the proper functioning of your marriage as preventive maintenance is for your car to run well.
She’s asking for pat on the back and a bite of chocolate? You don’t mention, but I’m betting she “appreciates” you! Come on dad! In fact, instead of getting her flowers, take her on a hike, bring a container of water, and pick her a nice bouquet of flowers…. Tie a ribbon on the jar, and give her a hug and kiss. You have no idea how far that would go!
For the first story: can we give a shout out for the boss being awesome?
1. Wtf?
She just want validation right?
Or she relationship was so abusive she can't think with clearly
If her house is spotlessly with 2 mini hurricanes known as toddlers, she is definitely working harder than the husband. My house is regularly destroyed with 1 toddler and a husband who helps out.
Hahaha no its easy as hell to clean a house. Even with two todlers in it.
Several decades ago, with only one young child, I calculated that my services as chauffeur (when he drank and I drove us home), housekeeper/ butler (organizing food, medicine and supplies), full time nurse (on-call 24/7 if someone was sick), and nanny, cook and housemaid would amount to approximately $75,000 per week, and it didn't include s-xual services. Lol. P.S. I used a conservative hourly rate.
So, you were in your office, completely blissfully unaware of what was happening, as your company's receptionist protected you, and then the receptionist called his office, and his company fired him, because they were disgusted with his actions, and his mistress's actions, and how they broke the company's rules, and somehow this is YOUR fault, and YOU were the asshole?
How? How could YOU possibly be at fault here? YOU didn't actually DO anything. YOU did not call his company, let alone get him fired. He got himself fired, and the receptionist is the one who made the call. But it was his own actions that earned the firing. Anyway, if he would have just LEFT, she wouldn't have HAD to call the company.
Tell all those people blaming you the truth: YOU DID NOTHING. Nothing wrong, nothing right. Simply NOTHING. So they can stop calling you the asshole, because you weren't even present for what happened, and had no part in it.
Or are they blaming you, because you disclosed to your boss that you have troubles? Is that it? How very dare you tell your boss that you have troubles that MIGHT impact your work, because he MIGHT come and cause problems (which is exactly what happened, and Oh, look! They were prepared, because you warned them, just as a good employee should). They think you should have let your company be blindsided by this guy coming in there, with a child, to claim child support for his affair baby?!
Oh, and you can correct them on all his lies about the baby-making, too. This man is a monster. And you are NOT the asshole.
And all the "friends" and "family" who take his side are obviously no longer YOUR friends or family, so drop them, cut them off, and ignore them, forever.
Unappreciated wife could have 1 day a week off, you do her job also 2vevenings 1 week and 3 evenings other week rotating around. She needs time off equal to you. Step up man!
He does step up. He goes to work then takes care of kids and house stuff in his off time.
How could Richard being fired possibly be OP’s fault when he didn’t get past reception so the company made all the decisions based on information he revealed to them then it was our of OP’s hands. The “mutual friends” still defending him when his behaviour is objectively so severe she’s been granted a restraining order aren’t really any friends of hers.
Special thanks to all the dysfunctional people for making Reddit possible
that last one... time to open a defamation lawsuit. shes knowingly lieing about something to everyone when it directly effects another as a targeted lie. atleast file for a gag order or something, as shes willingly harming you
@ASK GIRL ok, random vid plug?
OP's boyfriend did the nastiest thing possible in that moment. He's lucky she didn't punch him in the throat.
8:53. I love when people who don’t have children make an agreement that one will be a stay at home mom, when neither have experienced what that takes. 🙄
Exactly
Doesn't take much. I'll gladly trade my wife or any sahm my 16 hr shifts in the sewer system making repairs and wearing a diving suit to check underwater sectors for damages.
Story 2 dump his butt
Story4: NTA, and WTF? If Mary is hurt when her lies are exposed, she should STOP LYING! Plus 4 years on and she's still bitter? Pathetic. OP doesn't have to give a flying fart about Mary's hurt feefees. The friend is way out of line to even suggest OP not defend herself. Time to rethink this friendship.
That friend is likely on Mary's side and is abusing their "Friendship" with OP to give "pretty retarded advise no friend with the Best interest of both parties" would ever suggest! (That's something you suggest to your enemies under the banner of Neutrality. Either way, best to rethink that friendship if they can't "Keep to themselves" If mary is hurt, then that's on her, she started the lie, she can deal with the fallout now that it's fallen all over her!)
Story 3- In regards to the comments you can't really use the she works 24 hours a day 7 days a week argument because by that logic op does to she works then comes home and by that logic continues to work being a parent. While I agree that it's not hard and op should be able to buy his wife a chocolate bar every now and again op also says that his wife doesn't do things like that for him to show she appreciates him. Imo they really need to sit down and actually have a conversation about everything because from the sounds of it neither realize what they need to do to show the other that they appreciate what they do.
So, you're telling me that the very fact that she fulfills his love language (touch/intimacy) as evidenced by both his own admission and the fact they have two kids, while he can't do the same (hers is affirmation and recognition) is lost on you? Or the fact that OP admits that they're literally as useful as a moldy sponge when they're not working isn't computing? You seriously can't be that dense. OP wants to treat the wife like a f*ck maid, and admitted they're emotionally neglecting the wife.
@@pansprayers 1-Where does op say that touch/intimacy is his love language because it is not said in his post here.
2- If touch and intimacy is his love language where does it talk about their intimate life? Yes they have twins but kids can happen after sleeping together once and they are two so it could be two years since they have been intimate.
3-I literally said that isn't hard for op to do things like buy his wife her favorite chocolate bar meaning I agree he should.
4 Idk about you but making money to pay the bills so they have somewhere to live,keeping food in the fridge,keeping the power on,making sure they have running water, as well as watching the kids when he gets home,grocery shopping(which he does from time to time because one of the things his wife asked was buying her her favorite chocolate bar when he goes to the shop), and helping get the kids ready and putting them to bed are all things that are pretty useful and all things op does.
5-Yes op should 100% be pitching in with housework and cleaning we have no idea if details like these were talked about when they initially decided that ops wife would be a sahm.
@Melody Ackerman please read the end of my last comment as I said I 100% agree op should be pitching in with housework and cleaning but if they had a mutual agreement that Ops wife would do all of if not the majority of the cleaning and never voiced that it was an issue before then than how would op know it was a issue? A person can't know how someone else feels about somthing before they tell them.
Time for a divorce. Let the wife be a single mom and let her see how hard her life is. Now she can work and take care of the kids.
@@pansprayers damn read the story and don't use you internal bias to spout nonsense. In this story eta since you are still in a relationship so yes you need to show affection but you can kind of pick up in the story that this is not happening on both side. And stop assuming he is a dead beat and a satm is a super hero since he states that after work he take care of the kids ... They are both working not stop but only one person. Is complain about it.
10:45; Dude, if you don't appreciate her then someone else will.
Is it too much for you to say "thank you dear, dinner was great"?
I usually grab my mom's favorite chocolate on my out of the store and we're not married lmao
#3. You should put the twins 8n daycare for a few hours a week for social interaction and feo your wife to have a few hours to completely relax.
Where do y'all find these friends? You're responsible for his histrionics . You need new friends OP..
First story; NTA. Obviously.
Your EX cheated on you and technically still is since you are still married to the piece of crap. He is TA, not you
S1: NTA. OP should move out because those people will keep harassing her.
S2: NTA. Boyfriend is immature as hell.
S3: YTA. I highly doubt that the world would end if OP said "Thank you, honey. I appreciate what you're doing". Instead, he decides to act like a total ass.
S4: NTA. OP and hubbs shouldn't care if Mary is hurt. She shouldn't have went around telling bs lie like that.
If she moves (IF she could even get a Visa) that just adds about a million times more complications to this issue. Such a US centric asnswer, usually from people whose only experience leaving the country is MAYBE that one trip they took to Canada or Mexico for a week.
@@pansprayers Jokes on you, I'm not from US.
6:46 are these teenagers? An adult making “funny TikTok’s” is pretty sad. Especially at his GF’s expense.
I'm curious does the mother of this man support the children of her husband? And vice versa, husbands are ok to pay for thier wives kids?
Probably only the men can have extra partners
OP in the first story needs to go back to the courts with all of this information and DEMAND a divorce and bring up that they should have granted it ages ago. It's disgusting that one person can hold up a damn divorce like this. If one person wants a divorce the court should fucking grant it, it isn't their fucking business why or how much work was put into 'fixing' it or not... If someone wants out let them fucking out.
Also being okay with multiple partners is usually reserved for situations where ALL parties are in the know and CONSENTING. This is cheating and it's fucking disgusting that they're trying to equate the two when there's already so much vitriol against people in genuinely happy and healthy poly relationships.
She can demand all she wants. It's not going to get her anywhere without a lot of time, money, and heartache, even WITH the reduced rate. She's not in the US. Even Israel requires the consent of the husband to get a divorce. Perspective - get some.
Sorry I don''t know exactly where she is. I sympathize that it isn't easy or accessible everywhere. I'm just going off the information I have available ok? You could have made your point without being a massive prick about it y'know. Some places you have to all but bully the courts to do their jobs and some places you can't fight at all.
Story 3: I GURANTEE if it was a stay at home dad complaining about not feeling appreciated, all the comments would be saying “I don’t get appreciated either suck it up” and that his wife doesn’t “owe him anything” I love the double standards haha
1. Love how his family says OP isxat fault for hubby to choose to screw his subordinate knowing it could get them fired and chose to push her boss to the point they had to use his employer to tell the guy not to stay in his wife's employer threatening them.
2. It was assault, not a prank. He's lucky he didn't get a black eye.
3. He's happy with a 24/7 maid/nanny that he can screw at night. His superiors at work need to tell him he doesn't need a thank you, good job, bonus, vacation, insurance benefits, a lunch break.... He should just do his job for free because it's his job and that should be enough. She's asking for just a little sign of his love and that she is still seen as his spouse. He gets appreciation worth far more than a candy bar every once in awhile. Let him start cleaning up the dinner dishes and everything for the household all weekend so he learns more about what he's supposed to be appreciating.
4. It would be kinder if she stopped defaming them. However think about "hey tell me I can date this guy you really want because we're going to do it anyway" is what she got too. The friend likely declared it over then.
stay at home mom; Maybe a little bit A/H. But your wife has open end spending on thing she needs/ wants, works at her own pace and time table other than babies. They said your shown that your appreciated by still having your job, same with her, when was the last time she bought you candy or a flower or anything just as a GESTURE of APPRECIATION. Ladies , men are HUMAN BEINGS also. NO one likes to be made to feel unappreciated. Life is a two way street, it go's both ways.
The wife that stays home. I have the same problem. I never get Birthday, VALENTINE'S, and even Christmas presents. I was doing most repairs. I asked if he would help 1 time and his reply was sure just take all my money. So, I got to the point if I want to do something else I just leave and do it. If I don't to do dishes I don't. I don't fix breakfast. I may cook night meal if I am going to eat. If not I don't cook. He can cook as good as I do. So, I figure if he gets hungry enough he will cook for himself. Others have also noticed that he stays glued to TV or in bed all the time.
Nta. F him n his family n friends. He shouldn't have came to ur job n disrespected you. He deserves to be fired. Oh well consequences have actions. Good for him n his mistress to lose their jobs.