Dad Demands I Buy His New Family More Expensive Gifts Using My Mom's Money Cos He Doesn't Have. AITA
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- My (15F) parents are divorced. As far as I know, there was no cheating and there was no abuse. They just fell out of love, which kind of sucked to witness.
My dad remarried earlier this year, so this is my first Christmas with his new wife and her kids (9F and 14M). They're fine as people, I'm not really interested in acting like a real family with them. I'll be polite and do stuff with them, but I'm just not their sister and they're not my siblings, which is fine. My stepmom is okay, she's not the evil stepmom you always hear about, but you can tell she doesn't love having me around. I can tell she hates my mom.
Story 1:
AITA for not buying nicer gifts for my stepsiblings/stepmom with the money I get from my mom?
Story 2:
AITA for saying people who snoop don't deserve apologies?
Story 3:
AITA For refusing to give my late wife's bracelet to my stepdaughter?
Story 4:
AITA for not wanting to share traditions with my stepmom that I had with my mom?
#AITA #Parenting #Family
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Story 1:
AITA for not buying nicer gifts for my stepsiblings/stepmom with the money I get from my mom?
Story 2: 4:27
AITA for saying people who snoop don't deserve apologies?
Story 3: 8:27
AITA For refusing to give my late wife's bracelet to my stepdaughter?
Story 4: 12:11
AITA for not wanting to share traditions with my stepmom that I had with my mom?
Thank you for making these
I guess Im asking randomly but does any of you know a way to log back into an instagram account?
I was dumb lost my account password. I love any assistance you can give me
Story 1: sorry Pops. You’re not married to OP’s mom anymore. The piggy bank is now closed.
Adding an advise to the story:
If OP has a savings account with parental supervision (she has to because she is not yet legally an adult), see who is mentioned as a guardian/co-owner of said account and if it is the father, change it immediately! If not OP may wake up some day and the account is empty!
I can only imagine how much worse his entitlement and greed will be when op inherits something, like what if her grandparents or something has her able to access some trust fund or something when she’s 18 or early 20s. Like hey I wanna get your stepmom a really nice anniversary gift, how about “we” get her and me a 1st class all paid expenses vacation across Europe in 5 star hotels!? Or hey my birthday is coming up and It was always my dream to have a boat. Or hey your step siblings want a wedding just as nice and magical as yours was, that’s be such a great thing to do for ur siblings!
U get my point, with op’s moms side they will get access to a load of money one day and he (and I can see the rest of them like the stepmom) seeing op as their meal ticket to even nicer things and op should “share the wealth with family”. The dad having been married to op’s mom would know when it happens. They need to prepare for it and how to handle it.
I mean this man got NOTHING for op yet gave op shit and guilt trips for the very nice and considerate things op got for them. And op put a lot of thought and best she could for people she doesn’t really even know. The dads like I know what u get for ur allowance and could’ve gotten the kids something better, and how much money u saved. Wtf dude u handle ur family’s Christmas and presents not ur teen daughter.
Op called it, their dad hasn’t adjusted to living within his means and still expects to live within his ex wife’s way of living. Op needs to tell their mom all that happened and see a therapist, they can help her organize her thoughts and how to talk and handle her dads manipulation and guilt trips
@@markusb.2850 Since it's the mom who's giving OP an allowance, it's a safe bet that the account is with her.
For the last story I feel sorry for the step mom it sounds like she is a decent stepmom other kids would be lucky to have ..she raise you and been in your life longer than your mom..still you just want her to be a friend
They might have a better relationship if Stepmother hadn't acted like a bull in a china shop. "I'm your mother now, dammit!" Is not the way to gain a child's love.
I think she was certainly trying but she was trying in the wrong way, you cant force yourself where you have no business, she shouldve started new hobbies with them
Did he just ask his 15 yo kid more expensive Christmas gift? Lol.. No shame..
That dad who's calling his 15 year old daughter "Privileged" should consider that He is the one with his hand out for his 15 year old childs' money.
If that were me, I'd be asking a judge to not have to go visit Sponge-Dad Brokepants. You *know* that the begging for gifts/money will only ramp up from there. All served with Guilt Sauce. No thanks.
He’s literally jealous his daughter has more money than him. Pathetic
"We love you want you to be our sister!" (But we don't respect your privacy and we will turn the entire family against you, but LOVE US!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Ask the new wife how she would feel if she had left a precious memento to Emma when she was dying and then a stepsister insisted on having that memento.
Give the new stepsister a name so that she realizes that Jaqueline will get her family heirloom instead of her daughter.
OP needs to take all his late wife's jewelry to safe deposit box. When OP gifts the bracelet to Jenny, he needs to make sure the card is signed only from her Mother. If current wife has money to make and offer to buy the bracelet why can't she take her daughter to purchase a new one she picks out herself.
God forbid OP caves in to his wife and stepdaughter tag-teaming, but if Emma ever ends up with the bracelet she can wag her eyebrows at Jenny and say you're dad loves me more. And the stepmom is a-hole 1st class for enabling her daughter; this is a power play on her part to slowly undermine OP and Jenny's bond. Hope OP stands fast and holds the course.
How can she be upset saying he’s favoring his daughter over her daughter, his stepdaughter?! Like yeah that’s his kid of course she comes before her especially for something like his late wife’s jewelry to be giving to their daughter on 16th birthday so she can “be there with her”. Stepmom is sick and they need to go to family therapy and go by themselves. Sounding like Cinderella’s wicked stepmother, like oh ur daughter doesn’t even know about it so she won’t miss what she never knew she had so my daughter can have it! What gross and selfish entitlement to be trying to steal her stepdaughter’s dead mother’s last gift because my daughter likes it! Oof get that locked up in a box in a bank before anything happens because they aren’t dropping it
The story with late wife's bracelet... ask your wife if the rolls were reversed & she died & wanted a special piece of jewellery to go to her daughter & you gave it away to someone else, that's fine?! Yeah she would probably argue that's not thr same thing or lie & say she wouldn't be bothered but we all know she would be. Seems to me that step daughter has seen the nice, shiny, probably expensive bracelet & wants it. When told no she got jealous & threw a tantrum.
Also it really bothers me that she was going through your late wife's stuff to begin with, especially when you weren't there!
The step daughter is a grave robber
Yeah... new wife doesn’t like OP’s mum? Are you absolutely sure there was no cheating OP? I mean, she has no reason to dislike the woman her husband have to co-parent with unless OP’s mum did something to her.
It could just be jealousy or dislike for upper class snobs
What did op's mom do though? Sounds like if there was cheating it would be the other way around. But maybe it's because stepmom thought daddy was the one with cash and surprise surprise, it's the ex
@@brianaschmidt910 LOL no, I meant was OP sure his dad and the new wife wasn't having an affair during OP's father's marriage to her mother. But yeah, sounds like new wife thought the money comes from the husband, now wasn't that a fun surprise for her 😂
Title story: NTA. Dad made his choices. He's got some nerve trying to guilt-trip OP into literally paying the price for his decisions. I hope he doesn't up the ante by trying to turn the step-family against OP with tales of how she's spent so little on them.
Story2: NTA. OP summed it up perfectly, no apologies for snoopers. Oh so "technically she doesn't live there"? Maybe OP should make that an actual arrangement!
“I should be more generous and giving”
How any “more generous” can she possibly be dad?
she gave her step siblings gifts and they all liked them
She didn’t mention what any of them got for her except oh yeah her own dad got her nothing! Sentimental and meaningful gifts are valuable too but he seems more focused on making his new family Christmas be good for them…. And looking good to them. Like I wouldn’t put it past him to take credit for op’s gifts had she fell for the dads guilt trips and manipulation and got them all something really nice and expensive
The bracelet story makes me so angry. The entitlement of the new wife and stepdaughter is downright nasty. Of course it's not favouritism to give the mother's bracelet to her own daughter when the mother specifically instructed to do so! It would be horrible and unfair favouritism to give it to the stepdaughter who has absolutely no connection to the woman who it belonged to.
Your 15 this is your first year with these ppl you dont owe them to buy them gifts .your dad dosent buy you gifts but wants you to lavish his family thats a big No!!!! Talk to your mother about what your father is saying hes out of line .you didn't have to buy them any thing at all. He dosent get to tell you how to spend your money
You know how a 15 yr old manages to save $6000? She doesn't massive amounts of money on presents for everyone
@@SH-qs7ee I want to know how the dad knows what is in his daughters account and how much she spent. He makes me sick, thank gawd mother got rid of him and has her prize, her daughter, the daughter should tell her mother everything and contact with his narcissistic manipulating dad should be kept to tje bare minimum. I bet before divorce he appeared to his new wife that he was wealthy and spent tons of wifes family's money on her, before married step wife. Now step wife knows the truth she probably on her way out as well, not because he is poor but because he a lying bast***.
The last story, the OP is TWENTY SIX for goodness sakes! She needs to tell her stepmom to butt out and to forget this fantasy of doing mom-daughter things. The step mom needs help!
Yeah especially going to a bridal store just her, no one willingly goes with only one person getting family and friends to come
OP needs to let stepmother know that she needs to back off trying to replace her mother/mothers memories. That the cooking tradition is totally off the table, find something else. Or maybe OP can just discreetly start something such as trying a new wine with a new home cooked snack just to talk, like once a month. OP invites her first, and mentions that stepmother can introduce her to a new wine next month at her place. This can be the start of "their" tradition. As far as the wedding, OP can just become a bridezilla when it comes to dealing with the stepmother, and tell her point blank you can participate in what I invite you to participate in, in the capacity I invite you or choose not to participate, period. Good Luck.
She needs a new daughter, this one sucks.
Absolutely not! Snoopers do not deserve apologies for what they find out (of course, if a snooper discovers that his/her SO is being unfaithful, it's time to get tested for STDs and find a new SO).
It's funny that my wife recently mentioned that my step-daughter alleged that I'd spied on her when she was a teen by reading her diary. That was news to me, because I honestly never knew she'd kept a diary.
As a person who's kept a journal since I was 21, it's EXTREMELY!! unlikely that I would read someone else's diary/journal. If I were to ever cross that line in invading her personal privacy, there would have to be a very compelling reason for it to happen.
Everyone is entitled to their own private thoughts and feelings, as well as a safe place to vent those feelings. I never need to know everything single thing about the people in my life.
The step-sibling WANTEDLY snooped!! somewhere they had ABSOLUTELY no business being, and they got her widdle-little feelings hurt as a result.
As a payback, the daughter should boldly invade her step-siblings' room for the expressed purpose of finding their own personal/private information, just to see how the step-sister would like that happy 🐴 shit!
I'm agree with the daughter that she doesn't owe ANYONE any apologies; so if they seek any type of apology, they can kick rocks...and then afterwards they can shove those rocks where the sun doesn't shine.
I'd be willing to die on that hill!!
So if my snooping leads me to finding out about a collection of child pornography or souvenirs of rape victims, or evidence of human trafficking or maybe evidence of child molestation etc..... Thanks for the clarification, I should have just respected his/her privacy. After all, they are not responsible for the things I found out while snooping on them [valuation of privacy... right] 👍👌
@@JohnSmith-fk1sr Actually there was a case where a man stole a cell phone from a stranger and later discovered that the phone contained a vast collection of very disturbing and disgusting child pornography images.
It was so bad that the thief -- himself -- went to the police station to personally give the police the cell phone, even at the risk of being, himself, arrested for theft (he wasn't).
In that case, there was, indeed, honor among thieves.
So, Mr. Smith, according to your logic, ANY and EVERYONE'S dairies/journals should be read by any and everyone, at any time, for any reason, because there could always be evidence of child pornography and human trafficking contained within.
But, in all honesty, just how often will someone actually find illegal/immoral activities written in diaries and journals to justify the snooping violation of personal boundaries? Chances are it'll be very rare...almost like purchasing a big prize lottery ticket.
It sounds as if you're advocating for people to endow themselves with police state authority to snoop through their family members, friends, co-workers, and even total strangers' personal belongings, just on that off chance evidence of child pornography and human trafficking may be found.
If you have a wife or children, I guess they'd better not keep any physical journals and diaries around... because you seem to be the type of person who's going to read them, and then present justifications in support of your actions.
So maybe your family members should keep their thoughts and personal feelings to themselves, where no one can access their personal thoughts/feelings via the standard snooping and invasion of privacy means...unless you one day develop some type of mental mind-meld to root about in your family members' heads.
@Middley Of Hills Of Crystals. I'm surprised Mr. John Smith, himself, by not offering a rebuttal in support of his views about snooping being totally justifiable in the rare event evidence of child pornography/human trafficking is contain within diaries/journals.
I'd love to see his rationale in supporting his beliefs.
@Middley Of Hills Of Crystals. I thought as much myself.
But why stop there? How 'out...Read all journals/diaries, personal papers of everybody you encounter because every
anyone can be engaged in espionage against America?"
I'm sorry Jenny's due her mother's gift . Your late wife's stuff is not their business they should not have touched it. I think you need to put it in a safe place so your wife dose not take it or destroy it.
9:520) Snooping is what the stepdaughter was doing. Since Jenny's mother left a written instruction, it's more like a codicil to the will. No monetary value was given, but the bracelet should be in a safety deposit box with in only his and Jenny's name . A trusted third party's name should be added to keep the SM's hands off, in case the father dies while Jenny is still a minor. The mother's note needs protection. Without the note, the bracelet becomes part of his estate. A third party guardianship (lawyer) needs to be name to protect Jenny's property, in case of his death. If the bracelet "grows legs", it will most likely be a civil matter.
11:21) A home safe, or lockbox, is no good, in this case. Stepmom can send for a locksmith. Anything removed would be a civil matter. The law would probably give the SM some kind of legal right to do so.
We are taught from a young age not to touch other people’s property or enter their rooms without permission, but because Op chose to stay with mom she suddenly has no property? It sounds like the dad is trying to manipulate Op into living with by saying that he’ll let the sibs mess with and wreck her stuff if she isn’t living there. I’d get all valuables and never go back to that house. Never apologize for writing in the journal. They’re meant to hold our private thoughts if someone reads something they don’t like then boo f-ing hoo. They owe Op an apology for invading her privacy. NTA
Story 2: "He told me that since I technically don't live there anymore, anything I had left there was fair game." (So much wrong with that statement, but coming back to that later.) "I told him I wanted to move stuff, and he asked me to keep most things there because it would make it feel more like home when I did stay." 1) That's a classic case of you can't have it both ways, Dad; if you're expecting OP to leave her stuff behind, then you need to enforce boundaries between the step-brats and enforce punishments for going through people's private things. 2) If things left behind are "fair game," then he should not have been allowed to take anything with him after the divorce, because it was left behind so it's fair game. 3) You need to sit the step-siblings down and explain that how someone felt at nine doesn't necessarily mean they still feel that way. And furthermore, that they're punished for going into OP's room and getting into her things. Yes, OP said some mean things, but she didn't say them out loud; she kept them contained to purposely NOT hurt the stepfamily, and should not be punished for having feelings just because they're not the feelings you'd want her to have had. Actions have consequences, and they (step-siblings) learned that pretty immediately. 4) If you punish OP for honestly expressing how she felt in a journal, then don't be surprised if she decides not only does she not want to move back in, but she doesn't want to visit anymore, either.
"not many 15 year olds could save that much"
Bet they damn well could with 100 a week..!
That's over a year of saving without saving anything, though. It wasn't a small feat to control her spending so much
@@crayolaclouds2696 it didn't say they got it in a year though, or that the 100 was a new thing since the divorce.
If for example they'd received an allowance for 3years since being a teenager that would be a total of 15600, not including what they'd receive from birthday/Christmas from the mum. And obviously having no tax/outgoings on any of that other than leisure!
@@crayolaclouds2696 Unless there are some extra commitments like chores/duties it isn't very impressive. One could use 50% of it each week and you would get there after little bit more than 2 years. I assume she didn't have a job to get extra money but if she did it would be even easier.
The 15 year old girl's spending might include all of her personal products, wardrobe, etc. Usually when a dad has a whole new family, his focus is on his new love and HER children, so the girl's generous allowance from her mom is probably largely spent on her own necessities.
i saw that, there’s only so much a 15 can buy week to week
That bracelet is Jenny's, you are just its caretaker until she's old enough for it. I'd suggest getting a safe deposit box so that it doesn't 'go missing' or have 'an accident'
Hiding it in a box won't cut it. That bracelet is going to disappear courtesy of the two women tearing the home apart to find it.
@@mbyerly9680 A safe deposit box is locked in a bank...?en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_deposit_box
@@shammydammy2610 Yeah, I have one. But OP said he was going to put it in another box and hide it in the house, no keys or anything else involved. And he doesn't think these women won't tear the place apart to find it? He's an idiot.
@@mbyerly9680 Absolutely. That's why I said safe deposit box so it doesn't go missing.
He would have to make sure it's in his name only.
OP1, tell your mom what's going on so she can take steps to protect your money. If something happens to her, will he have control of your inheritance?
OP in the first story should give her dad nothing. If she gives into his pressure, it'll continue outside of just the holidays. He'll be asking for money on a regular basis
Once he explained the story that it was his late wife’s and she wanted to give it to their daughter at 16 the new wife should’ve immediately understood the significance and explained that to her child. What kind of idiot offers money for a gift from a dead person??
All these people keep calling it ops moms money. She gave it to op. Would they say the money in their paycheck is their companies money? Ok fine it's a gift. Would they say the $40 steam card is still ops even though she gave it to her step brother? Of course not, and this is no longer her moms money. It's ops.
And what exactly that changes?
How dare he put his daughter before his wife and step daughter! Spoiled and inconsiderate! It's her mother's bracelet gifted to her by her for birthdays she's missing especially 16 being important to girls
Yeah and if he doesn't get a safety deposit box at a bank amd I don't know anything about them but if he could put his daughters name on it this way if they divorce before she's 16 step mother can't try to take it. Right now he's stupid, his saying Oh its just hanging out in a box in my closet but I'll move it to another spot. Unless that other location is your parents house or lawyer or something then no place is safe. Once it's clear your not going to cave and give step daughter the bracelet then while your at work one or both will tear the house apart looking for it and step daughter will eventually have a new piece of jewelry. Then you'd have to fight both her and new wife about how they feel step daughter deserves it far more than OP's daughter ever will.
@@Mew_Mokuba_Akari yeah. She went through her stuff could take it to "borrow". Being a teen could easily damage, break, loose, have stolen, or sell for easy, quick and lot of money. Teen parties most always have drinking or drugs and someone steal it right off her when drunk or high. Or she takes it and says she lost it only to wear it outside the house of op and daughter's eyes. Op needs to step up for his daughter and put the wife in her place. It's not ok for her to act and think such a way of a girl's dead mother's jewelry inheritance. Wtf!? Get your kid something yourself or give her your own jewelry then! Thinking it's not fair for her daughter well at least she has you, and this gift would be so sweet and special for her that years later get a piece of her mom on her big day.
You were 9. Divorce. Dad remarries. Journals/diaries are for PRIVATE thoughts. NTA,
In story 1: In one of the comments they said that OP should get their mother something nice and meaningful, OP said they got their mother a necklace with her birthstone that it was not as fancy as some of the other things that Mom has, but they hope she likes it, unless she's the materialistic type, Mom will love it because it came from her child.
1st OP's bio-mom should get 💯% custody of her to keep her dad, stepmom, and step-siblings from bleeding her dry.
Story 3:
By not favoring Emma you are favoring Jenny! SMH
Stepfam in the bracelet story: My child isn't Cinderella.
Put all your late wife's stuff in a safe deposit box because if you think this is over...its not!! The little spoiled brat (going through your late wife's stuff??) WILL take it the first chance she gets. If your wife demands giving it to her or buying her one please tell her this! "Honey you go out and buy one and when you die I'll make sure your kid gets it!"
If she can offer money for that bracelet, she can make that same offer in a jewelery store for another bracelet. She has some nerve.
Bracelet story. His new wife should be called his soon to be ex-wife. If she wants her daughter to have a bracelet like that, why doesn't SHE BUY A NEW ONE FOR HER DAUGHTER. Wifey sounds beyond toxic, playing head games with her stepdaughter and her husband. Run run run!!!!!!
First story: Dad is an ahole, op doesn’t owe him or his family sh*t he should be glad she bought them something
OP whose stepdaughter want's bio-daughter's bracelets. Who is stepmom favoring? It's obvious that she doesn't care about OP's daughter. He can tell the wife that the 2 of them can save the money and let stepdaughter pick out a bracelet, within price range, on her birthday or as a Christmas gift.
The last one. Oh, when OP has a daughter - watch out. Stepmom will see a second chance.
If the father of the first op has the guts to take in another family, then he should've have come prepared. Children has nothing to do with their parent's decision.
In my family a 60$ gift is pretty expensive LOL
Story 2 reminds me of a story where a family goes to therapy kuz the kids aren't getting along with the step mom. The boy refused to speak up and was later punished for it. The girl did speak up, honestly, and was later punished for being rude. Also, they were refused individual sessions by the parents.
Journals and therapy sessions are SAFE SPACES. That's a big part of why they exist at all! Even if someone legit read a journal by accident (hey, what's this book open on the table...?) they could get mad if they wanted, but they'd have no right to act as though it was said to their face.
As the great Dave Ramsey says ...no good parent ever demands money from his children, never, ever
Here's the apology to give: I'm so sorry you disrespected my privacy and snooped in my stuff, and found something that you didn't like, that happened when I was nine years old. I wouldn't have done that nowadays, but you are still disrespectful snoops. What's up with that?
Serious question is 100 bucks a week too much for 15 year old? If so I might be fudging up... She saves up most of it. Also the "there are people who have more or less than you, is not up to you to make up the difference" I like that.
12:10 just putting that bracelet 'somewhere' safe won't be enough. OP needs to be careful now that his entitled wife has shown her true colours, and from what she's said and done, I wouldn't put it past her to look for it and give it to Emma, then causing a massive scene when you want it back. OP honestly needs to rethink his relationship with this woman, as I can see her and Emma taking out her frustrations on Jenny.
The story with the stepdaughter wanting the bracelet: Tell her she can have it when she signs over all rights of inheritance from every possible source she might get one from.
Step siblings and stepmoms who want their husband to give them the special things which belonged to his deceased ex rather than to his bio daughter, as the ex wished, would NOT see it that way if the situation was reversed.
Whoa. Six thousand saved??? That is great for a fifteen year old.
Hope she has her money in a place where her dad can’t get to it.
Ok first once mom hands over the cash its Ops money.
Now having said that as it is her money she has every right to spend it how she wishes. Dad sound super entitled.
This marriage is going to have an ugly end if things don't change, and the bracelet will disappear.
Story 1 - this is why you always get a prenup
Re: the bracelet
OP needs to put that in a safe deposit box TODAY, and put the key to the safe deposit box somewhere the wife and step-daughter can't get it, like maybe in another safe deposit box in another bank, and the key to THAT box with a trusted friend, who will be told one thing, and one thing, only: Keep this until I ask for it. If I die before then, give it to Jenny. Do NOT tell the wife and step-daughter about the trusted friend holding the key.
Buy Emma a pretty bracelet, to shut her up, but make it clear that the other necklace is AN INHERITANCE FROM JENNY'S MOTHER, and that it is LEGALLY NOT YOURS TO GIVE, and that if she asks one more time for that bracelet, then she is CONSPIRING TO COMMIT A CRIME, and you will not support a criminal. Same goes for your wife.
If it's just that Emma wants a pretty bracelet, she should be satisfied with the pretty bracelet you buy for her. But if she insists on THAT bracelet, then she doesn't "just want a pretty bracelet." She wants to hurt and rob from her step-sister, and her mother is wanting to support her in robbing from and hurting her step-sister, and that will be grounds for divorce.
It's not favoritism to obey the last wishes of a dead person, who left a specific item in their will. Just because it was not in a specific "Last Will and Testament," but only a handwritten note, does not make it any less of a legal legacy. And robbing someone of their legal inheritance IS a crime.
Don't stay with criminals, OP. But if it's just about "oooooh! Pretty!" get the girl a pretty, if you can afford it. Let her know that you do, indeed, care about her, and want her to be happy, but not at the expense of committing a crime.
Who gives a 15 year old a Diamond bracelet?
Re: the Snooping story, I'd replied to someone who'd commented on a similar posting who gave the impression that that kind of snooping is somehow justified, because there could be evidence of child pornography/human trafficking contained within the journal pages.
According to the poster, he seems to believe that any, and everyone's personal property should be snooped through on that long-shot chance that there's evidence of pornography and human trafficking. But honestly, just how often will that ever happen to justify the police state-level of snooping?
If the snoopers got themselves butt hurt reading what their step-sibling wrote about them, it's on them; they SHOULD NOT!! have been snooping in the first place.
And it would be the COLDEST ASS day in Hell before I would ever apologize to them for what I had written at that time in my life.
Snoopy kids don’t deserve an apology, they deserve a punishment! OP needs to take all her belongings back home with her, and only bring exactly what she will need for whatever the duration of the specific visit to the dad/stepfamily house in the future. Reduce the exposure of her belongings to the steps. Add, NTA!!!
Story #3 Big red flag here! If OP’s wife pulls this about jewelry that is meant for his daughter, gifted by his late wife..he may need to rethink the relationship... If stepdaughter wants a bracelet, mom can buy her one..#4 Stepparents trying to force themselves on the step kids , usually don’t end well.. SM should leave OP’s traditions alone and try to follow her lead about what she’s willing to do..
Story 1 Father needs to be told that he can't withdraw money from his daughter as if she was a bank, or use her like a credit card. His ex-wife's money is no longer his to spend. Sorry, Pops, bank closed. It's marvelous that the 15 year old daughter has been able to save so much. A financially responsible young lady.
First story, OP should ask the judge for her mom to get full custody as long as they don't go for child support. OP shouldn't have to pay for her step-siblings. If that's the case, where's OP's gift?
Second story, they don't deserve an apology. If anyone does, it's OP. Not only did the parents allowed them to violate OP privacy. But, didn't punish them for it. The only thing this is going to do is make OP resent them. Clean your room out and then, start snooping around and make them feel uncomfortable. If they get mad, remind them that it's fair game like they said.
Third story, Emma shouldn't be snooping around and taking something that isn't her. If the wife can produce money for the bracelet, she can get her a bracelet. Also, OP should be thinking about his marriage to his wife. Your wife is letting her go through her stuff and trying to take things that wasn't hers.
Fourth story, it's your right to say no and not be pushed into things that you're uncomfortable with. I have a feeling that she's trying to become your mom and is mad that she can't get what she wants.
The young lady in the first story can say, "Thanks, Dad, I've taken your advice on sharing and donated $XX to (charity name).
Story 1: Hell No! You are NTA! Let them get their own nicer gifts! You are not obligated to them to do anything, tbh. It was nice enough that you got them gifts for Christmas. Your father and his new family should be thankful you even thought enough of them to do that.
Story 1 NTA you are 15 and your dad is trying to score your cash allready get ready for worse in the future. You are under no obligation to buy a gift for anyone at all. I am a Pagan so I do not celebrate Christmass, but I do follow the social conventions. I buy and give gifts to my Family and old friends but if I ever felt forced to do it I would stop.
Favoritism: It sound like the new wife is trying to replace the former wife and hoping to have her daughter to replace his. Why doesn't she buy her daughter a bracelet or her 16th? Dad should have secured all of this wife's jewelry before he remarried and then gifted it to Jenny when she is legally an adult. That would have removed temptation from Emma and by giving all of the jewelry to Jenny when she if of legal age it would not be a gift but a transfer of inheritance so he would not be obligated to give Emma the same. While he can't do the former he an do the latter. Receiving an inheritance from her late mom is not the same as receiving a gift from dad.
Wait step kid will resent him if he give his bio kid her mums stuff it was the bio kids mums how duz that work
First: Where is OP's $ 6000 kept? If OP says no to giving him money or presents, her dad may decide to raid her "piggy bank" unless the money is safe in a bank account under OP's and mom's names. And after she turns 18, single holder account is a must.
10:30 Why keep expensive sentimental stuff, money, documents around where anyone can rummage around and find it?
Don't you have a bank locker? At least keep a lock box at home where late wife's stuff, valuable papers, money etc can be stored and keep the key.
Now that new wife seems OK with HER daughter rummaging around your private stuff, around your late wife's stuff and isn't going to reprimand her, THIS IS VITAL AND URGENT.
FATHER IS SUPER DUPER PITIFUL !!! PANHANDLING & TRYING 2 FREELOAD FROM HIS OWN DAUGHTER !!! Lol 😂. 4 ANOTHER MANS CHILDREN !!!! DAMN !!! THEM KIDS HAVE THEIR OWN MOTHER & THEIR FATHER & THEIR OWN. FATHER !!! IF KIDS DONT HAVE STUFF ??? THEY DEFINITELY DONT DESERVE STUFF !!! DEFINITELY NOT v FROM YOUR MOTHER
Story about father wants his daughter pay for step-kids present.
Don't pay for expensive present.
Personally if was me I would bought whole lot presents, but only 1 dollar and wrap up. There your Christmas present this year.
You don't have pay much for 1 dollar gift/present.
SuperAggo CLEARLY can't read... Asked two questions she already said in the original post!
Maybe you could learn about place serving. Which plate goes with witch bowls sicker wear or gold wear and flower arrangements so you can have complimentary skills for food
Story 1 NTA no you shouldn't spend your mom's money on them. His stepkids, him, and his wife need to live within their means not your means. You don't owe them anything and the fact that you gave them anything at all is really nice. The fact that you spent as much as you did on m people that you're not close to is even nicer.
Story with the snoopers: dad claims that when OP is staying with her mom, that everything in her room is fair game?? Are you kidding me? At that point OP, pack up almost everything and take it back to your mom's and if you dad throws a fit make sure to let him know that you don't want your things to be 'fair game' while your gone. Or if you want to be really petty, go through their rooms while they're out cuz now it's 'fair game'
Story one- tell you father to kick rocks. You do t even owe your step sibs gifts. Did they get you anything? What a tool. He says you should be more generous while his hand is out to his 15 yo child. Sorry op, he’s a massive ah. Dot get them anything next year
Story about the bracelet: The mom wants him to play favorites to his stepdaughter so he doesn't play favorites to his "real" daughter? Well, that is so dumb, especially since it isn't playing favorites since the bracelet kind of doesn't even belong to him
Bracelet story... What a horrible and pathetic attempt of emotionally manipulate OP...
For that last story, I feel really bad for the stepmom. The OP isn't a bad person, necessarily, but I feel like she's being unnecessarily harsh. There are so many stepmoms out there who can be really kind to their stepkids and have a good relationship with them, and frankly I think they should cook together. I get the dress shopping part, but I don't understand why the stepdaughter can't just cook with stepmom every once in a while.
Story 1 danmm our story is similar.... Like very similar except I don't get allowance.
People who snoop don't deserve apologies but if it gets rough, then half ass it. To kids: I'm sorry you got butt hurt when you snooped in my private journal that is meant for my thoughts and my eyes only. To stepmother: Sorry you are not capable of teaching boundaries to your children that they felt it was OK to snoop in my room. To father: Sorry your new family doesn't understand that when I was younger I was not prepared to share you so cut them out of pictures. Also sorry that I am now going to ask my mother if I can live with her full time because I can not trust any of you and you are all making me uncomfortable.
1st story. OP's dad learned that when you play up, not down. OP NTA. Seems like a pretty well adjusted kid.
No your late wife's things belong to her daughter make sure they are locked up incase your wife and step daughter get vindictive.
OPs father is not giving her anything for Christmas, but is demanding she spend MORE on him than she already did? NTA
For Story 3 you all are going to think I'm crazy but I might be onto something now I want a preference by saying the wife is nowhere in the right but I don't think she comprehended when she married OP that because his wife died and it wasn't that they divorced like she did with her ex I'm assuming at least she can't wrap her head around the fact he basically has a shrine to his late wife in the form of letters albums and other little mementos she probably thinks it's very disturbing and inappropriate to have when in a new relationship especially marriage so I can get that and it needs to be confronted and confirmed that she's not playing second fiddle I also think she's going to try to kill two birds with one stone in this situation to force his hand to not only discard the shrine by more or less breaking it up and to cement her daughter in a position where he can't deny without seeming like the a****** of being equal if not more received then his own biological child this is very much an evil Cinderella stepmother approach born out of jealousy and insecurities and she's gaslighting him to where he can't win without seeming like he's playing favorites I would say get therapy but if it continues cut your losses baby get a divorce before his little girl's 16th birthday
Cutting step-siblings out of vacation photos is pretty cold. If not an apology, at least an explanation that she doesn't feel that way now might be nice. Assuming she doesn't still feel that way.
MAKING SURE DAUGHTER GETS NOTHING FROM LATE MOTHER !!! BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY !!! WIFE WANTS 2 SEE DAUGHTER HEART BROKEN EVERY TIME SHE WOULD SEE IT !!! WANT 2 LAUGH AT DAUGHTER NOT HAVING NOTHING FROM HER LATE MOTHER
The last OP doesn’t have to bake with step mom but she could ask her for a booklet of her favourite recipes. That way she could at least feel appreciated.
If you cannot afford a gift for the kids why are you older kids if I was you I would just say hey I wanna move in with mom she’s not stressing me out
If your family goes through your things, their not your family, your just related to them.
Emma and her mother need to pound sand: the bracelet has an incredible meaning for the husband and his daughter. It might be time to consider divorce.
Get your dad saving bonds for Christmas and birthdays
Story 2 this is why I have a pad lock and a deadbolt on my bedroom door
Loo in the bracelet story divorce the wife this is a huge red flag
Put that bracelet in a safety deposit box.
I don’t know maybe you hang out with your mom all the time
No your journal an photo none of their business
Really nice 👌 😍💋 💝💖❤️