I donno if I’m a person people needed to walk away from, I’m pretty much a loner now. Even from those who I hoped would help me grow in spirituality. I donno what to do.
look its very understandable if someone gets outraged over the horrible genocide which the catholic roman church did on the indigenous people! however *******Jesus Christ never commited even one sin. Also look at the 10 Commandments. One says "ye shall not kill!" and *******Jesus Christ =Saviour, said that whosever hates their fellow human Brother is a murderer and does Not have *******GOD-The Maker of ALL Life, in them, since HE is Love+Justice unified. He said anyone who is like that is of their father the devil who is a lier and a murderer from onset. Please i beg, DO make a clear Divide between our Lord+wonderfull Saviourgod *******Jesus Christ and Re Lie gion. He did not die so people would found a new Re lie gion, but so we can ALL have Life in Abundance and be reconciled with *******God The Maker of ALL Life, bc all have sinned at least once against His Commands, and therefore fallen short in His Eyes, so He came as Human to give His sinless Life as Attonement, so whosoever Trust in HIS Greatest Act of unddeserved Mercy and +in HIS Leadership in Life, will be free from slavery of sin, have forgivness for their past sins, be free from works of law, and be reconciled with *******GodTheMakerOfALLLife, The one and only living and ALLmighty God. And from then one live freely through His Spirit of Truth and Mercy and in HIS Peace which superseeds ALL Things. Made new no longer walking in the Flesh doing the Works of the Flesh, but being healed by Him, each Day more and more and perfected through Him, not by anything we could ever do, because without His Lead we are lost and hopeless. He is all we need, just a Child needs a good Father. Not Institutions, outward Re Liegiosity or relying on our own puffed up faulty Knowledge, Visdom or men- made often enslaving ideologies. Trully as His living Word says: Men have ruled over fellow Humans, to their Detriment. We are all made uniquelly and wonderfully from The Maker of ALL Life. Its up to our own free Will to finally allow Him to love us for HE does not want even one 2 perish. Listen fellow Human Brother and Sister: A indigenous Men once said, i Love Christ, but not the Christians. Thats ok, you must not have contact with anyone ye do not want to have contact with. Its your Birthright to say no, and coexist in Peace. However if you trully Love The Maker of ALL Life then you surelly want a unique and personal Relationship with your "Father"-The one who made you and the one who saves and liberates. For He is the Way, the Truth and the Life everlasting. If want.....
Kris, I would add to the list disrespecting your boundaries. If someone consistently ignores/disrespects my boundaries I know they really don't care about me as a person, but are looking to get something from me, my time. my attention, or my resources! This is my #1 red flag!
Yup we're not free A.T.M.s (attention time money) anymore huh lol. My money time energy effort and attention are all valuable, if you want more you have to earn it. Mmm mmm their own medicine right back at em lol
So true. They are to be pitied actually for the deception they are under. Unfortunately, there are denominations within the Church that have delivered a false grace and false forgiveness doctrine, which has instead enabled and stroked egos and made repentance of little active value. Man-made teachings around these very things have crept in and made a good number of Christian marriages and related family dynamics end up being caught up in practicing unhealthy bondages and even idolatry in how they are lived out. 'Thy Kingdom come' requires transformations to occur within the actual Christian family home. We need to pray vehemently for repentant revival, particularly amongst those positioned as household spiritual leaders. Implementing 2 Chronicles 7:14 literally will aid changing families and how the gospel of Christ is lived out within them. Plus, it will in turn ripple out to aid changing communities & nations and we will as a Church be all so much more better ready for Christ's return.
When I told mom " I just want to please God" she said in the most hateful voice " YOU don't please God YOU please ME"....I knew right away I was talking to a demon.
Ask your Creator, the One who knows & loves you better than you love yourself. He will make ways & show you how to finance your escape. Maybe give you creative ideas, dreams or a trusted person JUST ASK HIM, Thank Him & keep your eyes/ ears open for opportunities. I know bc He rescued me & saved my life‼️
@@user-pk8wq9pu1p TY...he just raged out on Sunday. Forced to sleep with room door locked. I NEVER asked God to do that till now. Someone else told me this very thing. This is confirmation. This man is escalating.TY again!
@@simionenaclably9280 Jesus loves you so much and died for your sins as well, I am not better then you 4 all have sinned and fallen short in the Eyes of the Almighty Living God, The Maker of All Life. All except Jesus Christ 🙏♥️🕊️ who gave HIS sinless Life so All could be saved who trust in Him, His Leadership in Life and into what He did for us the Greatest Act of undeserved Mercy. That He gave His Life lowered Himself to come as Human and endure the Wages for our Sin which is Death and Condemnation. He was pierced through for our All our Iniquities for all have sinned at least 1x in Life . . Please speak to Him as you would to a Friend and surrender to Him, He will never deny a sincere or desperate Heart. It's never been about outward re lie giosity or self righteousness it's about being reconciled with God and having a unique personal Relationship with Lord AND Saviour Jesus Christ who loves us like a Good and Just Father would love His Children, but so much more though because He has All Power and is truly, good and Faithfull. He is The Way, the Truth and Life. Trust HIM and His Lead and What He did 4 You and His Word. He is alive, He is real and He can never let you down. Much Love ❣️ fellow Human.
@@simionenaclably9280 and one more Thing, healthy Boundaries are good and necessary in Life and the right to say No, Thank You and live in Peaceful Coexistence but not necessarily Contact is a Birthright and not Hate. If something does not feel good for me I have a right to walk away. Noone is entitled to a another Human Being, their Time or Resources, or can or should force another Human into contact or anything they do not want ....do not do to someone which ye would not want to be done to you. Whosoever hates their Brother has no Love or God in them for God is Love, however Love does not do anything evil to their fellow Humans like lie, steal or brake their Marriage or Abuse emotionally or physically or spiritually. Forgiveness and Reconciliation does not mean Contact especially not forced or out of Obligation. I can fully forgive someone and in my Heart "give them to the Lord"-for His Will should be done and pray 🙏 for them and wish them the Best, but I am not responsible nor I want to be for changing them. Grown ups are Responsible for their Deeds, Choices and their Life and how they treat others. I can harbour no Grudge, wishing only Happiness and that they too meet the Lord, but I am free to not have contact with them. This is my Birthright as a Free Human set Free by Jesus Christ and wanting to live and abide in His Peace 🕊️
John 14:27 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. Read in Context Related Verses John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Ephesians 2:17 And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near. Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. John 14:1 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. 2 Timothy 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
It is the LACK of TRUE repentance but SAYING they are "Christian" that is a HUGE indicator they are ABSOLUTELY NOT sincere. No child of God CONTINUOUSLY BEHAVES and LIVES in sin💯
I agree with Reindeer911. Christian's have issues too. We All have issues that take time to work out. That doesn't mean we aren't Christians, and it doesn't mean we have to hang with people who are harming us. If you are ditching a friend ONLY because 'you' deem them unsaved, you may want to check your self Righteous meter.
I’ve been discovering RUclips videos on narcissism these last two years….by FAR THE best coach, or counselor is Kris Reese. #1 is because she keeps it biblical.
Enabling bad behavior for one person, while condemning the same behavior in another is hypocrisy. I've done this myself & will no longer be a hypocrite! Good bye & good riddance to the enabling mentality I once embraced!
Wow, that's a great way to look at it! You're right, we can be biased sometimes and overlook behaviors that we wouldn't like to see in people that we don't know
Exactly! Ouch! Co-dependant here... childhood learned behavior patterns. Both narcissists and Empaths suffered from early childhood trauma. The Empaths took that pain and became more compassionate, not wanting others to suffer the same fate they did. while the narcissists got angry and decided to take their anger out on the world. Vowing to put themselves first. Empaths were strong enough not to let the trauma destroy their goodness. while narcissists were weak and let the trauma overcome them. -Maria Consiglio
Kirs, I stopped being my family and friends' door mat. That took a lot of stress out of my life! I don't get sick to my stomach any anymore. I also sleep better, too.😊
Toxic people will literally cause your body and mind to break down. There are so many people battling with sicknesses and diseases that medical doctors can’t pinpoint the cause because it’s their bodies way of fighting all the negativity they are subjected to by the toxic people in their lives. Staying in a toxic environment or relationship breaks down your immune system it’s only a matter of time. Glad you got away and now living a better life. 🙏🏾
Kris, i think God drew me to find your videos. My mom is "Christian " but only acts like it when its convenient and my husband, God bless him, has been the target of her "death by a thousand cuts" . He refused to ignore it and let it go anymore so we will be selling the house we all purchased together.... im truly awake because he refused to just let it go like i have MY WHOLE LIFE. And i wont settle for this either. We tried .....and bended ...... but no more. Thank God 😊
I have been always breaking my boundaries in front of the people. Now, when I decided to respect myself, people hate me so much. This is kind of madness.
I was recently betrayed by my best friend. She disrespected me on so many levels that it hurt so badly and insulted me in a way that I could no longer turn a blind eye to her behavior. I’ve always been there for her in her chaos and time of need, but after losing both of my parents in the space of a year and a half her betrayal came at a time where it really woke me up. I’ve gone no contact, because I’m trying to let go of my anger and every day I pray for Grace, peace, healing and forgiveness. I still love her, but without her seeing that her behavior was totally unacceptable and her apologizing for how she has acted, I see no way to move forward. By doing what she did, I no longer trust her. I believe this all happened because I need to let things go. It hurts and it’s not easy to move on, but I’m not the type to let disrespect go on. I have too much self respect and self worth and I know God put this in my way because it was necessary. Sending up love and prayers for everyone dealing with hurtful relationships. God is your strength through the storm and he will let you know when you’ve done everything you could to make a relationship work. ❤❤
Prayers for you. Going through the same thing. Been 14 months no contact. It gets better with time. Just hurts to find you’ve invested in a lie with someone. Narcissist will wreck your life. If you let them.
I donno if I’m a person people needed to walk away from, I’m pretty much a loner now. Even from those who I hoped would help me grow in spirituality. I donno what to do.
I have a Christian brother who has disrespected my boundaries. He's part of a team and one of his team disrespected me over a period of months. I say a boundary with him because he invited me on the team two years ago. I'm a key player on the team and when I said "no" this year, he turned on me. He then accused me of all kinds of things for saying no. My "no" ended up unmasking him. He proved to be a narcissistic person, and very religiously unhealthy. I've stepped away and feel I walked away from the darkness.
Did you tell him what your boundaries are? I have to wonder sometimes about these kind of videos, because not everyone understands even what a boundary is, and the term boundary only came into play a few years ago. Someone with autism or a learning disability may not understand boundaries… I do not agree with giving up on people unless they are truly a danger to us.
Thank you for this example. I will now - as a people pleaser - say NO or express disagreement when it feels healthy for ME ... and I will have the courage to stand strong for all kinds of their - maybe angry - reactions. It will be the best ... in both cases my honest "speak up" will show me their real face....
@@mliz5243good point... to show compassion by not only explaining own boundaries - but also show real interest by asking questions in order to understand the other's inner world and feelings.
I spoke with an old friend recently, and finally didnt feel like I had to fix her or feel sorry for her to extent that I would break my boundaries in helping her. God has shown me shes got people locally in her town to help her. Thankyou Lord!
There’s an epidemic of children completely cutting off their parents and not allowing them to see their grandchildren. They use therapeutic terms like toxic and barriers to justify dishonoring their parents and breaking their parents’ hearts.
This sounds like something a narcissist would say. 1Co 5:11 KJV But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. 2Ti 3:1-5 KJV 1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. WITH SUCH A ONE NO NOT TO EAT. FROM SUCH TURN AWAY.
I agree, other professionals have stated that there is an epidemic of estranged adult children/parents when the parents have not been abusive. The world tells others that it is okay to blame parents, etc instead of going to God for healing. Word of God says in these days love grows cold and sin increases. We give God our children and grandchildren and refuse to enable their sin against us. If this means they cannot be in our lives, it is difficult because the world says family is everything. Jesus said not to love even family more than Him. We love them by giving them to His care. Trusting that God still has plans for me even if I cut off a toxic parent, or if I have to cut off a toxic adult child. Sin reigns in the church because narcissism is applauded and enables in these Days of Noah. Stay close to Jesus... Word of God heals!
@@nightnurse7777 She was stating facts... just as there are many adult children who have toxic parents that they turn away from, many parents have narcissistic adult children who abuse them or cut them off with no reasons. It goes both ways and the pain is awful for the person who can feel it. I agree with the Bible verses you posted, and the church in general encourages enabling and has no clue about abuse. God hates abuse. The church has taught believers to enable abuse... keep praying for them, etc., Now the church is full of self-worshipping narcissists who are coddles in their abuses because they give money to the church for example. We are told to discern the fruit and if someone claims Christ's Name but walk according to the flesh with no sign over time of abiding in Word, Truth that transforms and sanctifies us...they show they want their own way not God's. Word says not to enable sinners, and if we do then we are agreeing that their love of darkness is okay. So thank you for these verses, all through the Bible God says don't keep company with hypocrites who claim Jesus but do not make any effort to obey Him. Thank you for posting these. Please remember parents can be narcs, but so can adult children.
I'm going Through this and I need if somwone can please contact me I don't know what to do . I know I'm just a render my adult children but I've got 5 grandchildren who are missing out on me 2 of which have not been allowed to see me 3 and a half years ... I try my best but it's daily torture on me what today ??? I'm fearing that they're telling him the worst
Kris thanks to your encouragement, I went no contact with a toxic friend of 16 years. Have stuck to it despite her attempts as you describe to get back together. I pray for her and know God wanted me out of the way so He could help her directly. He has been trying to get me to do this for many years. I had to repent for disobedience. He has of course forgiven me. He is working in her life in a big way. I trust her to Him forever!
The disrespect during disagreements is such a subtle form of abuse and red flag that many people miss it. Pay close attention to how people speak to you when you have different views or when you “say something stupid”. I don’t care who it is, but if you cannot disagree respectfully it is a BIG SIGN that you lack emotional and conversational intelligence as well as verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is akin to physical abuse deescalate the situation by being firm in your response. On a separate note, the amount of women who have died reckless deaths at the hands of abusive husbands and partner because a spiritually inept pastor told them to stay is heartbreaking 💔. Abuse is grounds for separation and or even divorce if need be and so many leaders in the church don’t understand this and have sent a lot of people to an early grave. God hates reckless deaths as much as He hates divorce and in this life it is important to exercise the wisdom and discernment He’s given us about those we give access to our lives to. Know when to walk away, it could save your life!
Say goodbye to Miss Conception for me. I’ve known her for many years. Sad to see her go…. no not really. Truth and Light are setting me free and I’m being healed. Thank you, Kris. I’m 74 and just gone no contact with my older sister. I’m able to breathe again. My sense of humor is returning. Im seeing my boundaries more. clearly and it gives me great peace. Seeing my part in the whole mess more clearly. I let her and other family cross my boundaries over and over. I’m so grateful for your ministry.
i love the way you mix in real life but funny dramatizations . It takes away the sadness, discouragements and heaviness on topics of toxic relationships. And brings Hope ! God bless you Kris !
I strongly relate to the codependent part. I could never raise a concern, even the nicest most sincere way possible and it either ended up in an argument or some type of emotional distance.
Well noted, it can take not just guts, but $ as well. Always stash a little $ away for yourself for emergencies and seasons like this. -All part of God’s plan to get away 🎉
@@PirateWench when my ex figured out I had a stash, he let the power bill go so I’d use it. Had to start over saving but I had candles ready. Eventually escaped & divorced . Had a backpack with documents & a change of clothes at my neighbors apartment
@@AClem-n7wmost narc abuse victims suffer financial domination (fin-dom) and economic sabotage from their abusers. They keep you from working, keep resources from you and release only crumbs to sustain you just for a short time. It's one of several strategies to keep victims codependent. Please, be prayerful, let the HS guide you and seek support of a trusted friend, or family. Best wishes!
In other words none of us are safe from each other in this lifetime. There’s something wrong with every relationship. Everything depends on how much bad stuff you choose to put up with and that person……Sad!
Thank you for sharing, i have an adult son that i am ready for him to move out. Soon i plan to make that happen, our relationship feels toxic and i think he forgets this is my home.
I have a similar issue - but my son is schitzophrenic and cannot live on his own. I put up with his abuse because I know it’s not really who he is. I see who he really is often enough for me to overlook the rest. I do relate however - it’s not easy.
Thanks for your video. Much of this doormat mentality is rife in the church and it borders on victim blaming. I find it excruciating as many Christian people know nothing about psychology or even communication skills at the least. So very refreshing to hear a Christian perspective on things like this. X
I dated a guy after my narcissistic ex and while it wasn’t meant to last it showed me that I can be a good partner when there’s mutual respect. My narcissistic ex made me feel so vulnerable and jealous about everything, I felt distrusting and in constant competition with every single female he encountered on a daily basis. He would blame me and degrade me for this but when I got out of the relationship and dated another guy who had respect for me…I never once felt jealous of anything with him, I never felt in competition with other women and I trusted him. Totally different perspective and even though the relationship didn’t work it definitely opened my eyes.
I was a Christian charismatic minister, together with my wife we serve the Church. In the spring of 2021 I went to a therapy of co-dependence, due to the fact that my wife was drinking too much, our children abandoned the faith, and I had no clue what to do with all that mess. Sadly, I had to seek help outside of the christian circles, because nobody in the Church seemed to understand the situation I'm in. Anyway, I obtained the help I needed, my sound mind has been restored, I gave up on trying to fix my wife and my life definitely improved. I feel better than anytime before, and I'm thankful to God for what He has done for me, and still does.
no you wanted to hear this today. Reece is a charlatan. worse still, she's a charlatan twisting scripture to try adding gravitas to her nonsensical ravings. she's a 4th wave feminist attempting to lure Christian women in by referencing or contradicting scripture. ladies, scripture does NOT change with the times. be certain of that because it is TRUTH. when we have so much divorce which God hates and 90% of the time it's being brought by women....then your problem isn't with me. it's with the Almighty who will search the minds and hearts of everyone and will know your motivations, punishing accordingly.
funny how the fairer sex gravitates to kris reece. must be that soft sell advice about women being justified no matter what commandment they eviscerate. the smart money isn't on listening to this CHARLATAN. the wonderful thing about God is HE weighs the sins of men & women equally. not like society. for Kris, the most important thing is that the women who flock here feel unburdened and forgiven. whether they truly are or not
I was that person...enabler, stayed for 30+ years in this marriage. Put up with so much. My childhood kept me from leaving too, i believe. It was a very violent and abusive one.
God is using you Kris in most amazing biblical principles that are truly the truth that God designed for mankind . I pray we each can become all God created us to be for His Glory ! And our very individual passion and purpose He desires for us. 🙏❤️🙏
I'm married to a narcissistic and manipulative woman who has no respect for anyone. I know what I have to do but divorce attorneys are so expensive and Colorado is not sympathetic to guys here.
Thank you! I separated from the father of my child 1,5 years ago and NEVER regretted it for a single second. But there was always some kind of fear that he is actually who god wants for me and that we have to work to find back to each other (since we have a child together). Your video was an answered prayer to clear my thoughts
@@keitherickson8404 what? English is my second language, I taught it myself 4 years ago. I also gave my life to Jesus like a week ago so I'm still anxious and just try to learn more about his word. Why are you not just happy for me that I got an answer to a prayer?
@@keitherickson8404Oh, my. I am a former proof reader but as far as I am concerned I do not need others to spell correctly or be competent in grammar. They are expressing the thoughts in their mind and heart which is worth more than capital letter and full stops. FOR OUT OF THE ABUNDANCE OF THE HEART THE MOUTH SPEAKS. (OR WRITES) Matthew: 12:34...
"If your husband drives drunk, it's not your responsibility to submit to him and get in the car." WOW! I have been going through this guilt, resolution not to let him drunk drive me, guilt, resolution not to let him drunk drive me, guilt, resolution... TRIP for years. Till now. Yesterday we were supposed to go to the store together and I asked him if he'd been drinking (we were on the phone with each other so I couldn't see his face). His answer was, NO. So I asked, No just a little bit or no none at all. He backed up and said, "O, ya, just a little." I said, We'll drive separate. So I followed him so he wouldn't rear end me. I love how you bring the Biblical aspect to the fore. Your videos have helped me so much in clarifying God's view. He says to stay away from drunkards. Amen!
I had to create space. My husband has been an alcoholic for most his life. After 4 years of being married to him I had to create distance. God demands we walk in obedience to His word. In my conviction being drunk on alcohol is sinful and unclean in God's eyes hence I had to step away. I am now requiring him to uphold our marriage by repenting, turning away from the alcoholism, get into rehab/therapy to support him in his sobriety. The ball is in his court. My husband is very upset with me. I'm holding on to my boundary. I dont know what the outcome will be but I'm trusting God to work in my husband's life and my life separately.
@@monaperry2635 Good work! You should ask him if there's anything he thinks sinful in your life that he would like to see a change in, maybe you two could walk down that difficult road together. This isn't necessarily a sinful example but for example : my wife thinks I have too many cars… So I said I would get rid of some if she would stop dying her hair blonde , my point is there are just some things that are hard to let go of .
Just marry better men and vett your spouse. He must be drinking before he meets your dad he gets drunk a lot. Same applies to the drunk wife, she can get help, if you a drunk and dug addict in American society there is plenty of help out there.
I just found your videos a few weeks. I have been through so much . With the help of the lord and listening to your words of encouragement and wisdom, it has gotten easier. I am now healing and loving myself more. Thank you
These simple truths are just that…the truth. I feel like we should all know them inherently but then again, we all need reminders sometimes. My problem was in pulling away. Once I did, all heck broke loose. Stalking, gaslighting, threats, financial loss due to moving frequently and 2 cars being destroyed. Police are limited in how they can help, so I carry on and do the best I can to protect myself and my children. It’s lame if you ask me, but it’s been going strong since June of 2021. Super fun times when you do the right thing and get away from such people, only to be chased like a criminal for doing so. Still, I carry on and now I’m planning to move 2000miles away soon. Hopefully this will help but in the meantime, I’ll carry on the know I’m doing the right thing
Thank you Kris for this video I've been dealing with a lot of these issues and I don't know what to do? The sad and heart breaking part is when they know they need help and refuse to get it and they say they love you thats not love!
@@tmo.48I've learned to live with my husband, with alcohol addiction, Joyfully Unattached. My life with the kids go on when he is somewhere drinking. I don't help him. I don't count beers anymore. I don't sniff and see if he filled bottles with water to throw me off. I live joyously now. Have put certain boundaries in place for my kids and I and life does not stop for us 😊
Thank you Kris for this video I let go of someone I was married to who is a narcissist God never approved of the ungodly soul the I put myself in I take accountability glad to be free thank you Jesus!
All my life I've watched abused women stay with a husband who makes a good living. It's hard to move into a little duplex with no credit cards after years of shopping and "security".
Kris ... This video is amazing. SPOT ON 100%. I cannot thank you enough for articulating exactly how I feel & what I have been through. You have helped clear the muddy waters soo many times, thank you so much!! Love you Kris, .. love, love, LOVE you and your incredible team. God bless you mightily. You are a real gem. 🙌✝️🕊️😘
@@Kris_ReeceI wish I would have found a counselor like you earlier. Was 20 years married and only found the courage to divorce after 2 of my 5 kids did suicide. I stayed way to long bec.i was this "loyal " Christian wife that couldn't set any boundaries to him.
@@swissherbgirl2917I'm so sorry for your unimaginable loss, hindsight is golden, it's not your fault we can only do the best we can with what we know at that time. I believe this revelation of narcissistic behaviour is for this generation - none of us understood it until God lifted the veil... I also have loved ones who would have survived if they had this knowledge. Jesus wept and knows beloved. Ask God to send the comforter and to strengthen you for the work ahead, we can't change what's past but we can help other's change their future. God is merciful, suicide is not the unforgivable sin from an eternal perspective. I pray you and your remaining children are safe, no contact is the best way. Love & prayers from UK ✝️🙏💙🕊🇬🇧
@@FaithfulandTrue949 thanks. Best comment ever. ..... Actually we have little contact now again bec. of the children. And bec of Grace of God I could forgive. It needed 5 years no contact for me to face him again. God reveald to him why I divorced. He even met my new husband. The other kids are safe now. And turned out so well. Even going to Church . I am so proud of them . One of them has some health struggles, that scares me sometimes, but her faith in God is the strongest. She doesn't take crap from people so easily. I wish I was like her when young, even some other times I see her people pleasing too, so she is like me but has her own cleverness. Praise God
@Kris_Reece Great video. I know when it's time to step away from a toxic relationship. But how do u recover w the least amount of pain, sadness etc. I actually stay because I know she is broke from her past, yet she won't seek the healing to repair from past relationships. I do love her but I'm running on empty that she will change
I’m so happy with Kris and how she gives me courage to persevere and not go back to toxic family members. I feel so much strength coming back and also I feel more hope that I actually CAN recover. Praise God!
Unfortunately these 3 factors came into play in my marriage and all fall apart. Your examples you give Kris are exactly mine. I drove across the US to my hometown to get away and heal. I have started the divorcé proceedings. I will continue to pray for him and his family.
This was so eye opening for me. Now I need the strength to proceed forward. I thank God for you, I’ve been learning a lot from you these last few weeks.
Ephesians 4; verse 2, 3 . Always be humble and gentle , be patient with each other, making allowance for each others faults , because of your Love , make every effort to keep yourselves United in the spirit , binding yourselves together with peace. This is called the ideal couple , The true follower of Christ. May the Holy spirit continue to empower you and bless you Apostle Kriss Reese. May the glittering light of Heaven surround you well. Hallelujah Amen.
What about a parent who plays the honor your parents card, and that you are abandoning them... I have prayed and God has changed my heart about that feeling. I feel good apart from her.
I understand where you are and how you feel. My mother was challenging, and that’s the best thing I can say about her. She was very cruel, cold, demeaning, and did, and said things that made absolutely no sense until I remembered that I do not fight against flesh and blood. No, I didn’t stick around and let her run all over me. I would leave for some time and then return for a very, very short visit to find out what she may need and I would purchase it for her. If I found out that she could only afford the basics in groceries, I would make sure that I would send her gift baskets of goodies like cheese and chocolate which were her favorites. I paid bills that I knew she could not afford, and I did so at an arms length. Actually, it was more like 2 1/2 legs-length, but who’s counting…. I was there when she really needed me but no more than necessary. When she was dying, even though she had said that I was to call her by her first and last names, and never call her mom again, I still went and sat beside her hospital and hospice bed. She died an unredeemed sinner, even though I begged the Lord to cause her to repent, but it was not His plan, evidently. She never said I’m sorry, never said I don’t know why I did this, never acknowledged anything that she ever did wrong or hurtful. The Lord is merciful, but he is also just. Maybe my story will help you to see how you can navigate your situation and still honor your mother and most importantly, honor The Lord.
@@Garden366THANK YOU for your awesome testimony, I would perhaps have thought of acting like you but my mother is not in need financially so there's no connecting point at all. The situation does not include to contact her again. Blessings your way! 🙏👰💖
@@Garden366 Your mother sounds like she suffered from mental illness. When you are dealing with someone who is chronically ill, it's very hard to navigate without the help of professionals and strong support from family members..!! You have been a good daughter in spite of all the drama and chaos..!! God Bless You..!! We are all in God's hands..!!
Thank you so much for this Kris, This was absolutely tremendous, You can't make people love you and you can't force someone to be with someone, It's abuse and should not be tolerated, Peace, love, Respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the universe, The most high, God is great 😃💚❤💙💜🌌🌌🌈😊😇🐎✌🐉😍🌲🕊🦁🌷🌹🌝🌚🦄😘🤗
I had to walk away from my BF because she only hung around me when she wanted to and never was there when I needed her. She took advantage of me and I’m a much happier person now since I said goodbye to her 3 months ago. She was toxic and god was telling me to let her go.
I SO needed to hear this right now! I'm super weary from it raising it's ugly head over and over again. I'm so done. I wish I could walk away or make them walk away but there are grands involved. I can't kick those littles to the curb. I'm in a quandary.... thirteen years running. Thank you Kris. Your advice is spot on always.
@@terichastain4179 You said it about it being a minefield. It's so volatile. I feel as though as the adage says "damned if you do and damned if you don't". Kris validated everything my spirit senses but I see no way to fix it. It's been going on so long and when I repel my wall to try something amicable with my emotion it blows up in my face.... blindsidingly so. Ugh!
This is exactly right. The Word of God to me was 'My power works best in weakness'. I had been trying too hard, being too strong, trying to save him. So God had me leave the house, as much to protect me as to have access to him.
I and my friends set boundaries for this person, and she dumped us. But though we are still dealing with our emotions, we are definitely better off without her. I realize now that I should've set boundaries with her right away. Long story as to why I didn't. But I also didn't know she was a toxic person at first. I thought she was a victim of a toxic online environment. Turns out that was just a facade.
Amen 🙏 Let me go. I let them go. Either way, God is stepping in. Seasons...Learning...Growth. And you cannot change another person but you can look inside, strengthen your relationship with God, and forgive yourself for your f-ups. Lord knows the rest of the world may not. 🙏
thank you. part 2 is me right now with my family. unfortunately i am in my dad's house because i can't afford to move out on my own here in new york and he is just a mean, cruel, narcissistic person, and i am constantly on the defense. i find myself turning into someone i don't want to be just to protect myself when i am dealing with his mood swings, and i leave and cry to God to help me through, until another day goes by and I'm still in defense mode. I just pray I am able to separate myself from him for good very soon and learn how to find peace even without my family.
When my sister spoke to me like she speaks to her child-not just once, but after three times it became a clear pattern-I knew I had to limit my time with her.
Got COVID at nursing job, my homeless roommate had to move, she is doing well, got money and her Dad helping her now.and a job too. So proud of her....
each must decide what they are ging to do/depends on one's health / awful situations '''''we don't all run when we can't/keep on keeping on /The Lord did not run away from being crucified ...so we all have somethings to do our best to heal/overcome /says we are more than conquerors through Him that loves us.Often best to stay quiet,.....for in quietness and in confidence .....shall be your strength.....best to just shut up really!!!
@ziziscorsese9475 Put God first and all things will come into place. Put God in the centre and tryst in him and pray abd have a relationship with him through prater and worship. Find a Prayer Group in your area where you live Amen.
Scripture states we are to have no other gods. It also says to not commit idolatry. Marriage nor a spouse must ever become an idol of worship either, no not ever. It also clearly states we are equally to submit to each other. There numerous instructions TO HUSBANDS about loving and serving their families and households with the model of Christ Himself setting the standard and pattern required as to how that serving and loving is to daily manifest cloaked in humility and self-control versus being driven by ego and arrogance. There is a vast difference between submission as GOD determines it to be exercised, and the sadly too often preached, very man-made and self-serving deceptive focus on 'obedience' to a human male household member which too often only implements enslavement and bondage & abuse of women and children. A godly woman serves and honours GOD first always. She is answerable to GOD only also. A Christ following husband should actively be doing the very same and remembering he is NOT God's equal ever. In Christ's gospel ALL are equal. Half truths preached from pulpits which keep male egos stroked and served will never help 'thy kingdom come on Earth as in Heaven' at all. Scripture is to be read and understood in entirety, not served up in small, selective tidbits.
@@householdlogistics No this is incorrect for its being incomplete. The bible says that a wife is to submit to her husband even if he is disobedient to the word. It also says she is to submit to her husband as unto Christ. You are of course correct in asserting that a husband is to love his wife as himself and put her before himself. But if he doesn't, she is still to submit to him. This is the cross she bears.
FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/
Thank you! Just got finished printing it out!!
What if you are married to the wrong person
I donno if I’m a person people needed to walk away from, I’m pretty much a loner now.
Even from those who I hoped would help me grow in spirituality.
I donno what to do.
@@robertdemeter5793I had all these issues, but got answers and researched more.
I would look around for videos on the subjects.
look its very understandable if someone gets outraged over the horrible genocide which the catholic roman church did on the indigenous people! however *******Jesus Christ never commited even one sin. Also look at the 10 Commandments. One says "ye shall not kill!" and *******Jesus Christ =Saviour, said that whosever hates their fellow human Brother is a murderer and does Not have *******GOD-The Maker of ALL Life, in them, since HE is Love+Justice unified. He said anyone who is like that is of their father the devil who is a lier and a murderer from onset.
Please i beg, DO make a clear Divide between our Lord+wonderfull Saviourgod *******Jesus Christ and Re Lie gion. He did not die so people would found a new Re lie gion, but so we can ALL have Life in Abundance and be reconciled with *******God The Maker of ALL Life, bc all have sinned at least once against His Commands, and therefore fallen short in His Eyes, so He came as Human to give His sinless Life as Attonement, so whosoever Trust in HIS Greatest Act of unddeserved Mercy and +in HIS Leadership in Life, will be free from slavery of sin, have forgivness for their past sins, be free from works of law, and be reconciled with *******GodTheMakerOfALLLife, The one and only living and ALLmighty God. And from then one live freely through His Spirit of Truth and Mercy and in HIS Peace which superseeds ALL Things. Made new no longer walking in the Flesh doing the Works of the Flesh, but being healed by Him, each Day more and more and perfected through Him, not by anything we could ever do, because without His Lead we are lost and hopeless. He is all we need, just a Child needs a good Father. Not Institutions, outward Re Liegiosity or relying on our own puffed up faulty Knowledge, Visdom or men- made often enslaving ideologies. Trully as His living Word says: Men have ruled over fellow Humans, to their Detriment.
We are all made uniquelly and wonderfully from The Maker of ALL Life. Its up to our own free Will to finally allow Him to love us for HE does not want even one 2 perish. Listen fellow Human Brother and Sister: A indigenous Men once said, i Love Christ, but not the Christians. Thats ok, you must not have contact with anyone ye do not want to have contact with. Its your Birthright to say no, and coexist in Peace. However if you trully Love The Maker of ALL Life then you surelly want a unique and personal Relationship with your "Father"-The one who made you and the one who saves and liberates. For He is the Way, the Truth and the Life everlasting. If want.....
1) They Treat You Poorly.
2) They Bring Out The Worst In You.
3) You're Co-Dependent.
When people show you who they are, BELIEVE them -Maya Angelou
Sad but true
Beautiful poet!
@@amiblack8294 when God says through him anything is possible, believe him.
- God
When respect is no longer being served ,You must leave the table.......
Some of us were born at the table. Crazy out here.
Kris, I would add to the list disrespecting your boundaries. If someone consistently ignores/disrespects my boundaries I know they really don't care about me as a person, but are looking to get something from me, my time. my attention, or my resources! This is my #1 red flag!
But she talked about boundaries
Well said
Amen
Literally . I had someone like push for me to drink even though I don’t and my life has been falling apart since
Yup we're not free A.T.M.s (attention time money) anymore huh lol. My money time energy effort and attention are all valuable, if you want more you have to earn it. Mmm mmm their own medicine right back at em lol
If they keep doing the abusive behavior they are not truly sorry.
Permanently damaged
So true. They are to be pitied actually for the deception they are under. Unfortunately, there are denominations within the Church that have delivered a false grace and false forgiveness doctrine, which has instead enabled and stroked egos and made repentance of little active value. Man-made teachings around these very things have crept in and made a good number of Christian marriages and related family dynamics end up being caught up in practicing unhealthy bondages and even idolatry in how they are lived out. 'Thy Kingdom come' requires transformations to occur within the actual Christian family home. We need to pray vehemently for repentant revival, particularly amongst those positioned as household spiritual leaders. Implementing 2 Chronicles 7:14 literally will aid changing families and how the gospel of Christ is lived out within them. Plus, it will in turn ripple out to aid changing communities & nations and we will as a Church be all so much more better ready for Christ's return.
My narc kept on slutshaming me, although he apologised many times. He was only sorry for the consequences: me breaking off our contact
When I told mom " I just want to please God" she said in the most hateful voice " YOU don't please God YOU please ME"....I knew right away I was talking to a demon.
Yes, def
Yooooooo😮
My husband is one...hands down.And I have spoken to the demons in him as well. I am praying for God to show me how-to safely get out.😢
Ask your Creator, the One who knows & loves you better than you love yourself.
He will make ways & show you how to finance your escape. Maybe give you creative ideas, dreams or a trusted person JUST ASK HIM, Thank Him & keep your eyes/ ears open for opportunities.
I know bc He rescued me & saved my life‼️
@@user-pk8wq9pu1p TY...he just raged out on Sunday. Forced to sleep with room door locked. I NEVER asked God to do that till now. Someone else told me this very thing. This is confirmation. This man is escalating.TY again!
They put you down, reject you and make themselves look wonderful.
Only needing validation from God is a powerful place to be.
Always put God first!!!
Amen. ***Yeshua is all i or anyone will ever need to quench the Thirst of my Soul.
@@simionenaclably9280
Jesus loves you so much and died for your sins as well, I am not better then you 4 all have sinned and fallen short in the Eyes of the Almighty Living God, The Maker of All Life. All except Jesus Christ 🙏♥️🕊️ who gave HIS sinless Life so All could be saved who trust in Him, His Leadership in Life and into what He did for us the Greatest Act of undeserved Mercy. That He gave His Life lowered Himself to come as Human and endure the Wages for our Sin which is Death and Condemnation. He was pierced through for our All our Iniquities for all have sinned at least 1x in Life . . Please speak to Him as you would to a Friend and surrender to Him, He will never deny a sincere or desperate Heart. It's never been about outward re lie giosity or self righteousness it's about being reconciled with God and having a unique personal Relationship with Lord AND Saviour Jesus Christ who loves us like a Good and Just Father would love His Children, but so much more though because He has All Power and is truly, good and Faithfull. He is The Way, the Truth and Life. Trust HIM and His Lead and What He did 4 You and His Word. He is alive, He is real and He can never let you down. Much Love ❣️ fellow Human.
@@simionenaclably9280 and one more Thing, healthy Boundaries are good and necessary in Life and the right to say No, Thank You and live in Peaceful Coexistence but not necessarily Contact is a Birthright and not Hate. If something does not feel good for me I have a right to walk away. Noone is entitled to a another Human Being, their Time or Resources, or can or should force another Human into contact or anything they do not want ....do not do to someone which ye would not want to be done to you. Whosoever hates their Brother has no Love or God in them for God is Love, however Love does not do anything evil to their fellow Humans like lie, steal or brake their Marriage or Abuse emotionally or physically or spiritually. Forgiveness and Reconciliation does not mean Contact especially not forced or out of Obligation. I can fully forgive someone and in my Heart "give them to the Lord"-for His Will should be done and pray 🙏 for them and wish them the Best, but I am not responsible nor I want to be for changing them. Grown ups are Responsible for their Deeds, Choices and their Life and how they treat others. I can harbour no Grudge, wishing only Happiness and that they too meet the Lord, but I am free to not have contact with them. This is my Birthright as a Free Human set Free by Jesus Christ and wanting to live and abide in His Peace 🕊️
John 14:27
27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
Read in Context
Related Verses
John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Colossians 3:15
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
Ephesians 2:17
And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near.
Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
John 14:1
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.
2 Timothy 1:7
for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
@@simionenaclably9280 Be Kind and Make Good Choices
Love thy neighbor
It is the LACK of TRUE repentance but SAYING they are "Christian" that is a HUGE indicator they are ABSOLUTELY NOT sincere. No child of God CONTINUOUSLY BEHAVES and LIVES in sin💯
Wanna bet?
Exactly. They do it although they know better. But I don’t have to stick around for it!
Fruit inspector alert
Christian's have issues too. So I have to agree with Reindeer911 who said, "Wanna bet?"
It's just the truth.
I agree with Reindeer911.
Christian's have issues too.
We All have issues that take time to work out.
That doesn't mean we aren't Christians, and it doesn't mean we have to hang with people who are harming us.
If you are ditching a friend ONLY because 'you' deem them unsaved, you may want to check your self Righteous meter.
Only God can change people!!
That’s only if they want to change!
God is a vacant landlord
❤️🔥🇮🇱✡️🦅✝️🙏🐕🦺🐾
I’ve been discovering RUclips videos on narcissism these last two years….by FAR THE best coach, or counselor is Kris Reese. #1 is because she keeps it biblical.
I will ONLY take Biblical advice ❤
Agree! I’ve been researching for a year. God showed me I’m dealing with a covert narcissist and I was suddenly led to her channel. Godly timely 🫶🏻❤️
Shaneen Magji is also a good biblical coach in dealing with narcissists
She’s awesome! So is @narc ology
And @shaneen 😊
the bible is the tool of coercion narcissistic religious zealots use to manipulate incorrigible people with.
Enabling bad behavior for one person, while condemning the same behavior in another is hypocrisy. I've done this myself & will no longer be a hypocrite! Good bye & good riddance to the enabling mentality I once embraced!
Wow, that's a great way to look at it! You're right, we can be biased sometimes and overlook behaviors that we wouldn't like to see in people that we don't know
❤
I have come to realize that my problem was “trying to keep the peace “. No mas. I want to be a peace maker. Call out the truth! 🕊
divorced while young and happily single til i have an empath like me that puts god first
Exactly! Ouch! Co-dependant here... childhood learned behavior patterns. Both narcissists and Empaths suffered from early childhood trauma. The Empaths took that pain and became more compassionate, not wanting others to suffer the same fate they did. while the narcissists got angry and decided to take their anger out on the world. Vowing to put themselves first. Empaths were strong enough not to let the trauma destroy their goodness. while narcissists were weak and let the trauma overcome them. -Maria Consiglio
Well explained the difference of narcs & empaths. 👍 Thank you 👍
Kirs, I stopped being my family and friends' door mat. That took a lot of stress out of my life! I don't get sick to my stomach any anymore. I also sleep better, too.😊
Toxic people will literally cause your body and mind to break down. There are so many people battling with sicknesses and diseases that medical doctors can’t pinpoint the cause because it’s their bodies way of fighting all the negativity they are subjected to by the toxic people in their lives. Staying in a toxic environment or relationship breaks down your immune system it’s only a matter of time. Glad you got away and now living a better life. 🙏🏾
Focusing on self love, that God is inside us, is the key. Let go of blame, take a stand for yourself, have faith.
Jesus died for our sins.
Mine NEVER apologizes.
❤️🔥🇮🇱✡️🦅mind never accepts my apologies✝️🙏🐕🦺🐾
So GOD finally told me today to give up on thoughts of happily ever after with this guy . I came to RUclips and boom this.
If he's not in Christ and being intentional to love & court for marriage, let him go. God will heal your pain.
@@danilaroche1156 what if he is and the girl goes crazy for no reason
Walking away from what’s toxic and no longer serves me.
Kris, i think God drew me to find your videos.
My mom is "Christian " but only acts like it when its convenient and my husband, God bless him, has been the target of her "death by a thousand cuts" . He refused to ignore it and let it go anymore so we will be selling the house we all purchased together.... im truly awake because he refused to just let it go like i have MY WHOLE LIFE. And i wont settle for this either.
We tried .....and bended ...... but no more. Thank God 😊
Good for you!
@@marietgagliardi thank you!!! 😊
I have been always breaking my boundaries in front of the people. Now, when I decided to respect myself, people hate me so much. This is kind of madness.
Maybe walk away but never give up in prayer.
Beware of People You've just met that have an Obsession with You
When a man does not know his boundaries with otger women. After you tell them it hurts you and they continue to do it.
He said I was being insecure
Or a woman does it. They manipulate just as good!
winners know when to quit and move on to something with better chances of success!
Thank you
I was recently betrayed by my best friend. She disrespected me on so many levels that it hurt so badly and insulted me in a way that I could no longer turn a blind eye to her behavior. I’ve always been there for her in her chaos and time of need, but after losing both of my parents in the space of a year and a half her betrayal came at a time where it really woke me up. I’ve gone no contact, because I’m trying to let go of my anger and every day I pray for Grace, peace, healing and forgiveness. I still love her, but without her seeing that her behavior was totally unacceptable and her apologizing for how she has acted, I see no way to move forward. By doing what she did, I no longer trust her. I believe this all happened because I need to let things go. It hurts and it’s not easy to move on, but I’m not the type to let disrespect go on. I have too much self respect and self worth and I know God put this in my way because it was necessary. Sending up love and prayers for everyone dealing with hurtful relationships. God is your strength through the storm and he will let you know when you’ve done everything you could to make a relationship work. ❤❤
Forgiveness is for those sorrowful
Prayers for you. Going through the same thing. Been 14 months no contact. It gets better with time. Just hurts to find you’ve invested in a lie with someone. Narcissist will wreck your life. If you let them.
In need of prayer for discernment and healing of my heart
Thank you. I needed this to feel ok to walk away from this person.
Your not alone
It's not OK to take the abuse. Turn the other cheek and walk away
I donno if I’m a person people needed to walk away from, I’m pretty much a loner now.
Even from those who I hoped would help me grow in spirituality.
I donno what to do.
@@kylethedalek This is when you need prayer to let the Lord lead you. We do not live for our will, we live for the Lord's will.
The lack of repentance! It's more of, I'm sorry I got caught. You must forgive me and if you don't then you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a Christian brother who has disrespected my boundaries. He's part of a team and one of his team disrespected me over a period of months. I say a boundary with him because he invited me on the team two years ago. I'm a key player on the team and when I said "no" this year, he turned on me. He then accused me of all kinds of things for saying no. My "no" ended up unmasking him. He proved to be a narcissistic person, and very religiously unhealthy. I've stepped away and feel I walked away from the darkness.
Did you tell him what your boundaries are? I have to wonder sometimes about these kind of videos, because not everyone understands even what a boundary is, and the term boundary only came into play a few years ago. Someone with autism or a learning disability may not understand boundaries… I do not agree with giving up on people unless they are truly a danger to us.
Thank you for this example. I will now - as a people pleaser - say NO or express disagreement when it feels healthy for ME ... and I will have the courage to stand strong for all kinds of their - maybe angry - reactions. It will be the best ... in both cases my honest "speak up" will show me their real face....
@@mliz5243good point... to show compassion by not only explaining own boundaries - but also show real interest by asking questions in order to understand the other's inner world and feelings.
I spoke with an old friend recently, and finally didnt feel like I had to fix her or feel sorry for her to extent that I would break my boundaries in helping her. God has shown me shes got people locally in her town to help her. Thankyou Lord!
Hi Laurinda🌹
How are you doing?
There’s an epidemic of children completely cutting off their parents and not allowing them to see their grandchildren. They use therapeutic terms like toxic and barriers to justify dishonoring their parents and breaking their parents’ hearts.
This sounds like something a narcissist would say.
1Co 5:11 KJV But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
2Ti 3:1-5 KJV 1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
WITH SUCH A ONE NO NOT TO EAT. FROM SUCH TURN AWAY.
I agree, other professionals have stated that there is an epidemic of estranged adult children/parents when the parents have not been abusive. The world tells others that it is okay to blame parents, etc instead of going to God for healing. Word of God says in these days love grows cold and sin increases. We give God our children and grandchildren and refuse to enable their sin against us. If this means they cannot be in our lives, it is difficult because the world says family is everything. Jesus said not to love even family more than Him. We love them by giving them to His care. Trusting that God still has plans for me even if I cut off a toxic parent, or if I have to cut off a toxic adult child. Sin reigns in the church because narcissism is applauded and enables in these Days of Noah. Stay close to Jesus... Word of God heals!
@@nightnurse7777 She was stating facts... just as there are many adult children who have toxic parents that they turn away from, many parents have narcissistic adult children who abuse them or cut them off with no reasons. It goes both ways and the pain is awful for the person who can feel it.
I agree with the Bible verses you posted, and the church in general encourages enabling and has no clue about abuse. God hates abuse. The church has taught believers to enable abuse... keep praying for them, etc., Now the church is full of self-worshipping narcissists who are coddles in their abuses because they give money to the church for example.
We are told to discern the fruit and if someone claims Christ's Name but walk according to the flesh with no sign over time of abiding in Word, Truth that transforms and sanctifies us...they show they want their own way not God's. Word says not to enable sinners, and if we do then we are agreeing that their love of darkness is okay. So thank you for these verses, all through the Bible God says don't keep company with hypocrites who claim Jesus but do not make any effort to obey Him. Thank you for posting these. Please remember parents can be narcs, but so can adult children.
I'm going Through this and I need if somwone can please contact me I don't know what to do . I know I'm just a render my adult children but I've got 5 grandchildren who are missing out on me 2 of which have not been allowed to see me 3 and a half years ... I try my best but it's daily torture on me what today ??? I'm fearing that they're telling him the worst
I’ve learned that saying sorry doesn’t mean you are the one that should say you are sorry.
God comes first no matter what God is the way the only way amen I will always follow the lord Jesus christ amen amen 🙏
They never truly repent before God!! Therefore nothing changes! Captured in a negative cycle of destruction.
Kris thanks to your encouragement, I went no contact with a toxic friend of 16 years. Have stuck to it despite her attempts as you describe to get back together. I pray for her and know God wanted me out of the way so He could help her directly. He has been trying to get me to do this for many years. I had to repent for disobedience. He has of course forgiven me. He is working in her life in a big way. I trust her to Him forever!
The disrespect during disagreements is such a subtle form of abuse and red flag that many people miss it. Pay close attention to how people speak to you when you have different views or when you “say something stupid”. I don’t care who it is, but if you cannot disagree respectfully it is a BIG SIGN that you lack emotional and conversational intelligence as well as verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is akin to physical abuse deescalate the situation by being firm in your response. On a separate note, the amount of women who have died reckless deaths at the hands of abusive husbands and partner because a spiritually inept pastor told them to stay is heartbreaking 💔. Abuse is grounds for separation and or even divorce if need be and so many leaders in the church don’t understand this and have sent a lot of people to an early grave. God hates reckless deaths as much as He hates divorce and in this life it is important to exercise the wisdom and discernment He’s given us about those we give access to our lives to. Know when to walk away, it could save your life!
Say goodbye to Miss Conception for me. I’ve known her for many years. Sad to see her go…. no not really. Truth and Light are setting me free and I’m being healed. Thank you, Kris. I’m 74 and just gone no contact with my older sister. I’m able to breathe again. My sense of humor is returning. Im seeing my boundaries more. clearly and it gives me great peace. Seeing my part in the whole mess more clearly. I let her and other family cross my boundaries over and over. I’m so grateful for your ministry.
Because of me constantly being hurt I feel while I am alive I have to live alone
@@SharonVise Same! Thanks for sharing.
God knows the best God already has your plan
My ex-husband doesn't even say sorry. He is entitled.
i love the way you mix in real life but funny dramatizations . It takes away the sadness, discouragements and heaviness on topics of toxic relationships. And brings Hope ! God bless you Kris !
I strongly relate to the codependent part. I could never raise a concern, even the nicest most sincere way possible and it either ended up in an argument or some type of emotional distance.
The most dangerous people I kept company with was them
Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
Poor people cannot just walk out of a marriage. There’s no support.
This is what I am experiencing. I don't know if this is really not showing any faith in God though. I really don't know what to do.
I was saving money. He found out and let the power go out. He knew I would use my emergency money. Got away eventually.
Well noted, it can take not just guts, but $ as well. Always stash a little $ away for yourself for emergencies and seasons like this. -All part of God’s plan to get away 🎉
@@PirateWench when my ex figured out I had a stash, he let the power bill go so I’d use it. Had to start over saving but I had candles ready. Eventually escaped & divorced . Had a backpack with documents & a change of clothes at my neighbors apartment
@@AClem-n7wmost narc abuse victims suffer financial domination (fin-dom) and economic sabotage from their abusers. They keep you from working, keep resources from you and release only crumbs to sustain you just for a short time. It's one of several strategies to keep victims codependent. Please, be prayerful, let the HS guide you and seek support of a trusted friend, or family. Best wishes!
In other words none of us are safe from each other in this lifetime. There’s something wrong with every relationship. Everything depends on how much bad stuff you choose to put up with and that person……Sad!
Thank you for sharing, i have an adult son that i am ready for him to move out. Soon i plan to make that happen, our relationship feels toxic and i think he forgets this is my home.
I have a similar issue - but my son is schitzophrenic and cannot live on his own. I put up with his abuse because I know it’s not really who he is. I see who he really is often enough for me to overlook the rest. I do relate however - it’s not easy.
Thanks for your video. Much of this doormat mentality is rife in the church and it borders on victim blaming. I find it excruciating as many Christian people know nothing about psychology or even communication skills at the least. So very refreshing to hear a Christian perspective on things like this. X
I dated a guy after my narcissistic ex and while it wasn’t meant to last it showed me that I can be a good partner when there’s mutual respect. My narcissistic ex made me feel so vulnerable and jealous about everything, I felt distrusting and in constant competition with every single female he encountered on a daily basis. He would blame me and degrade me for this but when I got out of the relationship and dated another guy who had respect for me…I never once felt jealous of anything with him, I never felt in competition with other women and I trusted him. Totally different perspective and even though the relationship didn’t work it definitely opened my eyes.
I was a Christian charismatic minister, together with my wife we serve the Church. In the spring of 2021 I went to a therapy of co-dependence, due to the fact that my wife was drinking too much, our children abandoned the faith, and I had no clue what to do with all that mess. Sadly, I had to seek help outside of the christian circles, because nobody in the Church seemed to understand the situation I'm in. Anyway, I obtained the help I needed, my sound mind has been restored, I gave up on trying to fix my wife and my life definitely improved. I feel better than anytime before, and I'm thankful to God for what He has done for me, and still does.
What a powerful, on time word! Thanks Kris, God knew I needed this today!✝️🙌🏽👏🏽
THAT'S exactly how I feel!! 🙌✝️🕊️ Praise God
no you wanted to hear this today. Reece is a charlatan. worse still, she's a charlatan twisting scripture to try adding gravitas to her nonsensical ravings. she's a 4th wave feminist attempting to lure Christian women in by referencing or contradicting scripture. ladies, scripture does NOT change with the times. be certain of that because it is TRUTH. when we have so much divorce which God hates and 90% of the time it's being brought by women....then your problem isn't with me. it's with the Almighty who will search the minds and hearts of everyone and will know your motivations, punishing accordingly.
funny how the fairer sex gravitates to kris reece. must be that soft sell advice about women being justified no matter what commandment they eviscerate. the smart money isn't on listening to this CHARLATAN. the wonderful thing about God is HE weighs the sins of men & women equally. not like society. for Kris, the most important thing is that the women who flock here feel unburdened and forgiven. whether they truly are or not
I was that person...enabler, stayed for 30+ years in this marriage. Put up with so much. My childhood kept me from leaving too, i believe. It was a very violent and abusive one.
I'm right there with you. 🙏❤
Yes, because when you have to leave both spouse and parents, it can be a lonely life. 😢.
I ask the Lord to remove the man I loved as I was continously broken down. I thank God my peace is restored.
God bless you dear Kris, yes all things are possible with God.
I saw this pop up in my feed and knew that God was already telling me to give up on someone.
I feel obligated to hang around people I don’t like, just to please others
God is using you Kris in most amazing biblical principles that are truly the truth that God designed for mankind .
I pray we each can become all God created us to be for His Glory ! And our very individual passion and purpose He desires for us.
🙏❤️🙏
Amen❤
Thank you, Kris! This is what I needed to hear! Glory to GOD!
Oh my goodness! This my life. I walk on eggshells with my spouse and my children
I'm married to a narcissistic and manipulative woman who has no respect for anyone. I know what I have to do but divorce attorneys are so expensive and Colorado is not sympathetic to guys here.
Wow I love this! I hate the person I become when I am with my mother!!!!
Eye opening, thank you Holy Spirit
Hi Jeni🌹
How are you doing?
Some of our mothers are not or no not to be mothers
Thank you! I separated from the father of my child 1,5 years ago and NEVER regretted it for a single second. But there was always some kind of fear that he is actually who god wants for me and that we have to work to find back to each other (since we have a child together). Your video was an answered prayer to clear my thoughts
an unsurprising answer from a person who can't be bothered to use a CAPITAL G in the word God
@@keitherickson8404 what?
English is my second language, I taught it myself 4 years ago. I also gave my life to Jesus like a week ago so I'm still anxious and just try to learn more about his word. Why are you not just happy for me that I got an answer to a prayer?
Jules ....
capitalizing a letter means nothing in the scheme of things. You found the best friend you could ever have in Jesus. Congrats.
@@jule93 Because the pharisee spirit is alive and well and you just met one. God bless you, sister!
@@keitherickson8404Oh, my. I am a former proof reader but as far as I am concerned I do not need others to spell correctly or be competent in grammar. They are expressing the thoughts in their mind and heart which is worth more than capital letter and full stops.
FOR OUT OF THE ABUNDANCE OF THE HEART THE MOUTH SPEAKS.
(OR WRITES) Matthew: 12:34...
"If your husband drives drunk, it's not your responsibility to submit to him and get in the car." WOW! I have been going through this guilt, resolution not to let him drunk drive me, guilt, resolution not to let him drunk drive me, guilt, resolution... TRIP for years. Till now. Yesterday we were supposed to go to the store together and I asked him if he'd been drinking (we were on the phone with each other so I couldn't see his face). His answer was, NO. So I asked, No just a little bit or no none at all. He backed up and said, "O, ya, just a little." I said, We'll drive separate. So I followed him so he wouldn't rear end me. I love how you bring the Biblical aspect to the fore. Your videos have helped me so much in clarifying God's view. He says to stay away from drunkards. Amen!
I had to create space. My husband has been an alcoholic for most his life. After 4 years of being married to him I had to create distance. God demands we walk in obedience to His word. In my conviction being drunk on alcohol is sinful and unclean in God's eyes hence I had to step away. I am now requiring him to uphold our marriage by repenting, turning away from the alcoholism, get into rehab/therapy to support him in his sobriety. The ball is in his court. My husband is very upset with me. I'm holding on to my boundary. I dont know what the outcome will be but I'm trusting God to work in my husband's life and my life separately.
@@monaperry2635
Good work!
You should ask him if there's anything he thinks sinful in your life that he would like to see a change in, maybe you two could walk down that difficult road together.
This isn't necessarily a sinful example but for example : my wife thinks I have too many cars… So I said I would get rid of some if she would stop dying her hair blonde , my point is there are just some things that are hard to let go of .
Just marry better men and vett your spouse. He must be drinking before he meets your dad he gets drunk a lot. Same applies to the drunk wife, she can get help, if you a drunk and dug addict in American society there is plenty of help out there.
Never get in any type of vehicle when someone has been drinking!!!
Take Uber
I just found your videos a few weeks. I have been through so much . With the help of the lord and listening to your words of encouragement and wisdom, it has gotten easier. I am now healing and loving myself more. Thank you
These simple truths are just that…the truth. I feel like we should all know them inherently but then again, we all need reminders sometimes. My problem was in pulling away. Once I did, all heck broke loose. Stalking, gaslighting, threats, financial loss due to moving frequently and 2 cars being destroyed. Police are limited in how they can help, so I carry on and do the best I can to protect myself and my children.
It’s lame if you ask me, but it’s been going strong since June of 2021. Super fun times when you do the right thing and get away from such people, only to be chased like a criminal for doing so. Still, I carry on and now I’m planning to move 2000miles away soon. Hopefully this will help but in the meantime, I’ll carry on the know I’m doing the right thing
He is committing crimes against you..have him arrested.!!
Carry!!!
@@wsurfs I would in a heartbeat! It’s not up to me though
Wish you well, you are brave, stay strong
Listen to the IAM. God within will tell us what to do in our hearts.
Thank you Kris for this video I've been dealing with a lot of these issues and I don't know what to do? The sad and heart breaking part is when they know they need help and refuse to get it and they say they love you thats not love!
Mine Never says he loves me, but I don't care. Been over that man baby for quite awhile now.
Same thing here. And also, huge love for 80s. I think I stayed there hahah
@@tmo.48I've learned to live with my husband, with alcohol addiction, Joyfully Unattached. My life with the kids go on when he is somewhere drinking. I don't help him. I don't count beers anymore. I don't sniff and see if he filled bottles with water to throw me off. I live joyously now. Have put certain boundaries in place for my kids and I and life does not stop for us 😊
You got #1 right. The rest so so. Lack of true repentance is key.
Thank you Kris for this video I let go of someone I was married to who is a narcissist God never approved of the ungodly soul the I put myself in I take accountability glad to be free thank you Jesus!
I think God might be trying to tell me to leave my estranged mother and older brother behind. But I don’t know when I can do that.
ASAP. 🙏
God will show you HIS timing. Really.
@@susannabonke8552 I'm pretty sure I might be able to leave them after I graduate college.
Pray
@@Corinna_Schuett_GER
By their behavior, they are leaving
you behind.
Do it
Best scenario---they wake up
All my life I've watched abused women stay with a husband who makes a good living. It's hard to move into a little duplex with no credit cards after years of shopping and "security".
This message really spoke to me! I really need help in my marriage and life! We have been together for 44 years! I’m so tired!!
Kris ... This video is amazing. SPOT ON 100%. I cannot thank you enough for articulating exactly how I feel & what I have been through. You have helped clear the muddy waters soo many times, thank you so much!! Love you Kris, .. love, love, LOVE you and your incredible team. God bless you mightily. You are a real gem. 🙌✝️🕊️😘
Thank you for sharing such kind encouragement. I'm so glad you've been blessed by the content 🙂
@@Kris_ReeceI wish I would have found a counselor like you earlier. Was 20 years married and only found the courage to divorce after 2 of my 5 kids did suicide. I stayed way to long bec.i was this "loyal " Christian wife that couldn't set any boundaries to him.
@@swissherbgirl2917I'm so sorry for your unimaginable loss, hindsight is golden, it's not your fault we can only do the best we can with what we know at that time. I believe this revelation of narcissistic behaviour is for this generation - none of us understood it until God lifted the veil... I also have loved ones who would have survived if they had this knowledge. Jesus wept and knows beloved. Ask God to send the comforter and to strengthen you for the work ahead, we can't change what's past but we can help other's change their future. God is merciful, suicide is not the unforgivable sin from an eternal perspective. I pray you and your remaining children are safe, no contact is the best way. Love & prayers from UK ✝️🙏💙🕊🇬🇧
@@FaithfulandTrue949 thanks. Best comment ever. ..... Actually we have little contact now again bec. of the children. And bec of Grace of God I could forgive. It needed 5 years no contact for me to face him again. God reveald to him why I divorced. He even met my new husband. The other kids are safe now. And turned out so well. Even going to Church . I am so proud of them . One of them has some health struggles, that scares me sometimes, but her faith in God is the strongest. She doesn't take crap from people so easily. I wish I was like her when young, even some other times I see her people pleasing too, so she is like me but has her own cleverness. Praise God
@Kris_Reece Great video. I know when it's time to step away from a toxic relationship. But how do u recover w the least amount of pain, sadness etc. I actually stay because I know she is broke from her past, yet she won't seek the healing to repair from past relationships. I do love her but I'm running on empty that she will change
Jesus help me!!! I'm so codependent 😫🙏
There are many of us out here..!!
Prayers to you
I’m so happy with Kris and how she gives me courage to persevere and not go back to toxic family members. I feel so much strength coming back and also I feel more hope that I actually CAN recover. Praise God!
Unfortunately these 3 factors came into play in my marriage and all fall apart. Your examples you give Kris are exactly mine. I drove across the US to my hometown to get away and heal. I have started the divorcé proceedings. I will continue to pray for him and his family.
I’m out of here. Going to go walk.
This was so eye opening for me. Now I need the strength to proceed forward. I thank God for you, I’ve been learning a lot from you these last few weeks.
Ephesians 4; verse 2, 3 . Always be humble and gentle , be patient with each other, making allowance for each others faults , because of your Love , make every effort to keep yourselves United in the spirit , binding yourselves together with peace. This is called the ideal couple , The true follower of Christ. May the Holy spirit continue to empower you and bless you Apostle Kriss Reese. May the glittering light of Heaven surround you well. Hallelujah Amen.
What about a parent who plays the honor your parents card, and that you are abandoning them... I have prayed and God has changed my heart about that feeling. I feel good apart from her.
Then everything is okay.. you honor your mom by keeping your and her social integrity.
I understand where you are and how you feel. My mother was challenging, and that’s the best thing I can say about her. She was very cruel, cold, demeaning, and did, and said things that made absolutely no sense until I remembered that I do not fight against flesh and blood. No, I didn’t stick around and let her run all over me. I would leave for some time and then return for a very, very short visit to find out what she may need and I would purchase it for her. If I found out that she could only afford the basics in groceries, I would make sure that I would send her gift baskets of goodies like cheese and chocolate which were her favorites. I paid bills that I knew she could not afford, and I did so at an arms length. Actually, it was more like 2 1/2 legs-length, but who’s counting…. I was there when she really needed me but no more than necessary. When she was dying, even though she had said that I was to call her by her first and last names, and never call her mom again, I still went and sat beside her hospital and hospice bed. She died an unredeemed sinner, even though I begged the Lord to cause her to repent, but it was not His plan, evidently. She never said I’m sorry, never said I don’t know why I did this, never acknowledged anything that she ever did wrong or hurtful. The Lord is merciful, but he is also just.
Maybe my story will help you to see how you can navigate your situation and still honor your mother and most importantly, honor The Lord.
@@Garden366THANK YOU for your awesome testimony, I would perhaps have thought of acting like you but my mother is not in need financially so there's no connecting point at all. The situation does not include to contact her again. Blessings your way! 🙏👰💖
Read Psalm 50:16-22 to understand what such a "mother" is doing. No regrets.
@@Garden366 Your mother sounds like she suffered from mental illness. When you are dealing with someone who is chronically ill, it's very hard to navigate without the help of professionals and strong support from family members..!! You have been a good daughter in spite of all the drama and chaos..!! God Bless You..!! We are all in God's hands..!!
Thank you so much for this Kris, This was absolutely tremendous, You can't make people love you and you can't force someone to be with someone, It's abuse and should not be tolerated, Peace, love, Respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the universe, The most high, God is great 😃💚❤💙💜🌌🌌🌈😊😇🐎✌🐉😍🌲🕊🦁🌷🌹🌝🌚🦄😘🤗
I had to walk away from my BF because she only hung around me when she wanted to and never was there when I needed her. She took advantage of me and I’m a much happier person now since I said goodbye to her 3 months ago. She was toxic and god was telling me to let her go.
It took me almost to the end of the video to realize that Kris was playing both parts 😂
Playing what parts exactly?
I SO needed to hear this right now! I'm super weary from it raising it's ugly head over and over again. I'm so done. I wish I could walk away or make them walk away but there are grands involved. I can't kick those littles to the curb. I'm in a quandary.... thirteen years running. Thank you Kris. Your advice is spot on always.
Right there with you. This particular situation is a minefield, & I've never seen it addressed by anyone. That being said, this lady is great!
@@terichastain4179 You said it about it being a minefield. It's so volatile. I feel as though as the adage says "damned if you do and damned if you don't". Kris validated everything my spirit senses but I see no way to fix it. It's been going on so long and when I repel my wall to try something amicable with my emotion it blows up in my face.... blindsidingly so. Ugh!
You are seen, Cathy. Jesus still has you.
What we have to get over is the face they have, we're attached to what we think it belonged to or represented.
This is exactly right. The Word of God to me was 'My power works best in weakness'. I had been trying too hard, being too strong, trying to save him. So God had me leave the house, as much to protect me as to have access to him.
I and my friends set boundaries for this person, and she dumped us. But though we are still dealing with our emotions, we are definitely better off without her. I realize now that I should've set boundaries with her right away. Long story as to why I didn't. But I also didn't know she was a toxic person at first. I thought she was a victim of a toxic online environment.
Turns out that was just a facade.
I really needed this i’ve been asking God for direction on my marriage. Wow
Amen 🙏 Let me go. I let them go. Either way, God is stepping in. Seasons...Learning...Growth.
And you cannot change another person but you can look inside, strengthen your relationship with God, and forgive yourself for your f-ups. Lord knows the rest of the world may not. 🙏
thank you. part 2 is me right now with my family. unfortunately i am in my dad's house because i can't afford to move out on my own here in new york and he is just a mean, cruel, narcissistic person, and i am constantly on the defense. i find myself turning into someone i don't want to be just to protect myself when i am dealing with his mood swings, and i leave and cry to God to help me through, until another day goes by and I'm still in defense mode. I just pray I am able to separate myself from him for good very soon and learn how to find peace even without my family.
Pray for guidance and strength. Work on yourself to find a better place. 🙏🏾
My older sister treats me the same way she did when we were kids and we're now in our sixties it's ridiculous
When my sister spoke to me like she speaks to her child-not just once, but after three times it became a clear pattern-I knew I had to limit my time with her.
It's very wrong for me to give up on anyone, especially when looking at myself. I'm 66, and I know that God has never given up on me.
Stop helping them hurt them😢
Got COVID at nursing job, my homeless roommate had to move, she is doing well, got money and her Dad helping her now.and a job too. So proud of her....
each must decide what they are ging to do/depends on one's health / awful situations '''''we don't all run when we can't/keep on keeping on /The Lord did not run away from being crucified ...so we all have somethings to do our best to heal/overcome /says we are more than conquerors through Him that loves us.Often best to stay quiet,.....for in quietness and in confidence .....shall be your strength.....best to just shut up really!!!
As Kris said in the beginning? This applies to non romantic relationships for sure for me! Getting into the Word brought me to God and ONLY God!
I’m tired of Marriage I just want to be alone and serve Are Father in Heaven 🙏
How would you serve him?
@ziziscorsese9475 Put God first and all things will come into place. Put God in the centre and tryst in him and pray abd have a relationship with him through prater and worship. Find a Prayer Group in your area where you live Amen.
Start serving your Father in heaven by obeying your husband in all things, as the scripture says.
Scripture states we are to have no other gods. It also says to not commit idolatry. Marriage nor a spouse must ever become an idol of worship either, no not ever. It also clearly states we are equally to submit to each other. There numerous instructions TO HUSBANDS about loving and serving their families and households with the model of Christ Himself setting the standard and pattern required as to how that serving and loving is to daily manifest cloaked in humility and self-control versus being driven by ego and arrogance. There is a vast difference between submission as GOD determines it to be exercised, and the sadly too often preached, very man-made and self-serving deceptive focus on 'obedience' to a human male household member which too often only implements enslavement and bondage & abuse of women and children. A godly woman serves and honours GOD first always. She is answerable to GOD only also. A Christ following husband should actively be doing the very same and remembering he is NOT God's equal ever. In Christ's gospel ALL are equal. Half truths preached from pulpits which keep male egos stroked and served will never help 'thy kingdom come on Earth as in Heaven' at all. Scripture is to be read and understood in entirety, not served up in small, selective tidbits.
@@householdlogistics No this is incorrect for its being incomplete. The bible says that a wife is to submit to her husband even if he is disobedient to the word. It also says she is to submit to her husband as unto Christ.
You are of course correct in asserting that a husband is to love his wife as himself and put her before himself. But if he doesn't, she is still to submit to him. This is the cross she bears.
Sorry once and change should happen. Then the person IS SORRY❤❤❤
As a man in toxic relationship with his spouse this was good