The perpetrator of humiliation, bullying or jokes always informs the audience about who they are. I merely responded to an attempted insult by asking the hostess not to embarrass herself in public view of ALL her guests. Shine the light on the behavior quietly but let it be known that they disclose themselves.
Try this... PROVERBS 📜 CHAPTER 3 VERSES 5 THRU 7.... Than pray for ; Isaiah 📜 chapter 4 1 verses 10 thru 13... Isaiah 📜 chapter 54 verse 17... Isaiah 📜 chapter 48 verse 17... Ask your phone or computer for these KING JAMES GOSPEL SCRIPTURES and may GOD BLESS YOU BOUNTIFULLY FOR READING GOD'S HOLY WORD and apply it to your daily life
Once a coworker tried to embarrass me in front of a group of people by making a stupid joke. I laughed along with everyone else and, with a smile, I said, "You know , that would have hurt...if I had any repect for you". The smile on his face disappeared and he never tried it again.
I’m 75 and have worn wigs for over 20 years due to a thyroid problem. Once many years ago a woman grabbed my hair and tried to pull it off. It was firmly pinned on so it didn’t budge. There were approximately 30 people in the area and I being the jokester I am, slowly unpinned it and removed it and handed it to her telling her to keep it as she looked like she needed it more than I did !!!! I spent the rest of the evening enjoying the beauty of my bald head 😂
Now that's funny! I too wear wigs "Godivas Secret Wigs". I wear them cuz I enjoy being a different color, or because of the convenience. There just so fun.
I was raised to always be respectful and polite. It wasn't until I was much older that I came to the realization that I needed to be selective about who was worth my time, including family. My circle has gotten smaller, but I'm much happier.
How about hair styles? Aggressor in front of other coworkers: "Wow!!! What happened to this hair style this morning? You mean you couldn't style it any better than that?" Response: " Wow! next time I'll think about how you like my hair to look as I'm styling my hair! I really need to focus on your attention to detail more!"
@@AirGunVic My wife built her whole world around being her authentic self and only being around people who are safe people. A smaller circle is a free-to-be-me place, where EVERYONE is a Golden Rule person, intentionally, right?
I am 76 y.o. I have male pattern baldness and started to gradually lose my hair in my late 20s. Some years ago I accompanied a woman friend to a large dinner group gathering at a restaurant. After introductions to a couple at a large table, the man said something to me like "Wow, you're really bald!" and laughed. I looked him in the eyes and replied " Did your mother not teach you that it is not nice to comment on someone's physical attributes? " There was a deafening silence at the table for a few minutes. I have often wondered whether I handled the man's rudeness in the most effective manner.
@gearyb9870 Me too. I'm 74, and in the music business, the hair thing is is the apex of shallow farce. I did wigs, not good. My baldness is pattern, and there are tiny thin fragile unseeable to the eye hairs. I color what is there ,and use a product that is a life saver for me not to look looked I frighten children. It's called Caboki. It's miniature short fibers of your hair color that attach to whatever may be there. There are other products, some too glossy, like Toppix, but Caboki is good. Online
The goal is to demonstrate your own dignity. Taking a dig at someone isn’t dignity. Why would you say that to someone if not to add to the alleged pain you are presuming someone caused them? Blaming them for being hurt. How does that make you look good?
I have a manager who repeatedly excludes me from meetings or activities even though they are directly related to my job. I let this person do this in group meetings until one day my whole team were in a meeting with the Executive Director and one of my colleagues asked my boss why I was not asked to comment on a matter even though I was there. I said nice and clearly - “ I have been regularly excluded from this activity, but always happy to help where I can.” This was a huge embarrassment to my boss and I was happily vindicated in patiently waiting for the best time to publicly embarrass my boss’s behaviour in front of his boss.
I would start keeping a journal. Usually when a boss excludes you from meetings, they're planning on getting rid of you. It happened to me at a previous job.
A psychiatrist, in an article that I read recently, suggested that If someone makes a mean or demeaning comment or joke at your expense, look at them with a feigned look of concern and say...... “hey, are you O.K?”. The beauty of this technique is that it takes the attention right off you and puts the attention on the offender, with the implied suggestion that maybe there’s something wrong with them.
It is must be understood that such persons don't have any sense of self worth and try to impress others at the expense of some one else. Starring at them and saying v 6:39 are you OK... ' Touches the point exactly..
I find it more satisfying to directly call out the offensive behavior in an assertive way. Sometimes people may not realize their behavior is rude. IMO it can be good for them to find out that their behavior is rude and unappreciated. And if they did it on purpose, they will also learn that everyone won't tolerate their bs behavior.
I was in the service as an officer was walking towards me as I was walking towards him. He said 'I'm twice as smart as you' and without hesitating I said 'If you're so smart you'd never have said that!'
And then you were demoted and taken to the sand pit! Joke. Anyway that is one of the many reasons I left the military. Obsession with humilation, not teaching the standard, do as I say not as I do, trashy people with power, etc.
While working on a project in the IT industry, my lead kept correcting a contractor’s English in the midst of the contractor trying to teach us. The contractor’s accent was deep, but not so you did not understand him or had to try to understand him. After the 3rd time of my lead interrupting him, I asked the contractor how many languages does he speak. He spoke 4 fluently and another he only knows enough to get by. I then asked my lead how many languages he spoke. Just English. He stopped interrupting.
When on a call with telephone representatives and after a couple of times asking them to repeat themselves, I always apologize and ask them how many languages they speak - it is usually more than two. When I say I only speak one., we both laugh and continue.
a guy in the warehouse would always walk up to people speaking spanish and say speak English you are in America. The company was later taken over by Japanese company. Two Japanese managers were speaking Japanese, and I told the guy, go ahead Bob, tell them them how you were saying they should speak English and I walked away.
While working as a cashier, this woman seemed intent on getting me to react to her rude behavior in a similar manner. I didn't (although i had to fight hard). I just smiled and helped her (and her son who seemed embarrassed) bag her groceries. She paid her bill. I said thank you and continue to enjoy your day. The look of utter confusion on her face😅, her son smiled at me and nodded his head.
Good work and the best things you did. Remember in the bible what Jesus said: love your enemy. Give him food if he's hunger." Try to be good to them or just like you what had done to her. And see, the reward of the wicked. God be with you.
@@len4319 Also pray for them; she sounds like she was or is going through something and not coping with it very well (maybe with no support or understanding). Hurting people hurt people, and many people are walking wounded. Remember compassion.
I was at a reunion and a female cousin said something very similar about my hair loss. It occurred as I entered the room and was greeted by a group that she was standing with. I said, “I see your vision is still good, as is mine. I wasn’t going to say anything but I noticed you put on a few pounds. Hey, getting older isn’t all fun and games but at least we’re all still here!” Then, I smiled, turned away and continued greeting others in a super friendly way!
One guy I knew could not read and write but he was intelligent, he was a Foreman on a construction site. One of the workers wanting to humiliate him said one break time….I was telling my little girl last night I worked with a man who couldn’t read and write, quick as a flash he asked him….did you tell her you worked under him? The perfect put down!
@@CaryCotterman Know it's very tough WE ALL HAVE THEM in our families. But try your best to forgive and forget BUT NOT THEM 🤔 IN YOUR PRAYERS... Sometimes during the HOLIDAY SEASONS HEARTS 💕 BECOME MORE LOVING AND UNDERSTANDING... May God bless you BOUNTIFULLY for reading HIS HOLY WORD and apply it to your daily life my friend in Jesus Christ. Luke 🌺📖🌺 Chapter 2 verse 14.... 🙏✨🌎✨🛐 Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will towards men.
I was volunteering in a hospital & one of the staff would "reprimand" me out loud in front of people. It kept getting worse so I eventually left! I was so happy to be there in the beginning but she took the joy away. I was 78 at the time! Took me three weeks to feel myself again! I blocked her!
I was a contract nurse in a big CVICU in a major city. I made an unpopular decision that saved a patient's life but embarrassed the head of pulmonary medicine there. That wasn't my goal at any point, and he could have easily saved face, but chose to indict his own stupidity, so he kind of embarrassed himself. He tried to retaliate by attempting to humiliate me in return on several occasions. After about a week of this I invited him to the parking lot to settle things the old fashioned way in front of a large audience, knowing he would decline the offer (I'm a big guy). It was also the next to last day of my contract. To my surprise the administration asked me to extend my contract as no one else seemed to be able to handle this doctor's ego.
I was embarrassed by my ex husband when he disrespected me publicly, in his family circle. I approached him to tell him something, but he snubbed & humiliated me. I felt ridiculed, embarrassed & walked away not only from him, but from the marriage.
You divorced for that, surely you could have sorted this out????personally I think your ex husband is better off without someone like you who runs when there's an issue. Marriage has its ups and downs.
I've dealt with bullies my entire life. I learnt from a young age that the only way to respond is to go for the jugular. Take no prisoners. Needless to say I learnt bullies are also cowards - they always immediately back off and sometimes even want to be friends.
I react exactly like the video explained. I work in a lower position around many doctors. Most are very disrespectful to anyone below their status or who do not work directly side by side with them. I try to say hello or start small talk but most of the time because of what I do at the hospital, there is no respect given in return. Those doctors or higher ups I just ignore. Brush them off as much as I can. I also do not recommend to friends or family or for myself their services. In my humble opinion remember to shine bright somewhere in your life. The doctors I talked about shine at their work. But in many cases that's it. Their work consumes them. I shine outside of work. My wife, kids and other relatives and friends are a blessing for me, and I try to be as much as I can for them. Also if their mean, demeaning, rude or just jerks. Let them. They may also be angry with themselves, jealous or feel insecure around you.
Friends very young daughter asked her Gran if she was poor ($). This was in contrast to her other wealthy Grandparents. Grans answer was "We may not be rich in money, but we're rich in love". I have never forgotten this.
One thing I've learned to say to someone who says something hurtful or mean is, "That make you feel good to say that to me?" They always answer no and back down.
Or when someone repeats hurtful things that people said about you ... I stop them from telling me by telling them that I will only remember and hate the person talking to me.
what if they don't respond, or smile smugly. Some people are unintentionally disrespectful and that's who think you have encountered. Those sort of people aren't geniunely malicious.
I go in shock and freeze. I am never prepared for these people. I am getting stronger and do tolerate less. Thank you for sharing this information. It is always helpful to be prepared.
Me too! But don’t you find it comes from people you least expect it from, friends, family? It does for me, strangers I can care less. I just avoid people like that if I can! Stay strong!
"Practice practice practice" is good. These situations are a battle of wit and confidence. Watch alot of stand up comedy and you will find the skill of observing and exploiting the flaws of others. Play on insecurities. For self defense only, of course. I'd be interested in past specific encounters 🤔
You probably see yourself as NEUTRAL. Just a person living their life and making their way through the world. Secure. The people who come at you are ACTIVE. They have negative things always ready to say because that's how insecure they are. They feel a "need" to come at you. Sometimes the best response is truly to ignore them. But ignore them as if you are a King or a Queen. As if your mind is saying, "Who is this peasant?"
Once as someone was extreamly angry of me at a meeting, I did not respond to him, but began to speak to the whole group about, how important is is, no matter what we think or feel, that we express everything with dignity and first of all willingness to listen to each other. The man flew out of the room fully frustrated and everybody (about 10 persons) were so reliefed by my peacefull words and way of expressing them.
I was at a manager's luncheon of about 35 Managers from all over the USA one day. This guy who sat across from me was a known jokester bully type. Everybody was eating and having a good time when this guy decided to say to me something about my balding head. The whole table got dead silent waiting to see how I would reply. You could have heard a pin drop it was soooo quiet...! I leaned back in my seat and turned my head to the right and a few people down to my right my friend from Maryland was looking at me as if to say wtf is his problem... I winked at him as if to say (watch this)... I said " Bill I'm really surprised at you...!!!" EVERYBODY was looking! He said "WHY Ray" I said to him... "I thought you were more intelligent that that" He said "What do you mean?" I said "I never thought you would stoop that low to establish your self-worth by degrading others..." The WHOLE Table busted out laughing at him...! I looked over at my friend and I saw him nodding his head up & down with this grin on his face looking at me with approval... Bill NEVER ever dissed me again...! 👍
Now in my 70’s my lived experience is that you should never let it go unchallenged, what ever strategy you adopt it should be employed first time around. Letting something like that go often induces a pattern of behaviour that will be repeated over and over again, it sets the precedent that you are fair game and you will worry and become anxious around them and possibly in other gatherings and it will destroy your confidence. It is bullying behaviour and in my youth we were told never to submit to it - but I like others always did until a moment in life when I realised that having a strategy and acting instantly to put the bully in their place really does work. I decided being timid only resulted in more of the same but if the bully comes to regret their action it is never repeated - it is no longer satisfying or fun, it has humiliating or painful consequences.
100% correct. To stop a bully you have to be a bully to that person. They are looking to make themselves feel powerful. Stop it immediately or it will continue.
Actually I just experienced something similar last week in a board meeting for a small volunteer organization. Twice I was cut off publicly in what was humiliating. At first I didn’t know how to react but a couple of days later I wrote an email to one of the board members informing them that I would be no longer working with such organization.
@@chuckinhouston9952 great. They’re not worthy of you. I too have walked away from several meetings/people. They’ll miss you long after you you’ll ever miss them. When you see them again invariably they want to be pleasant. What I say is. I have nothing but bad memories about you. Have a good day. Bye, and walk away again
I volunteered for a non profit. Secretary. We had a fund raiser and I was in charge of a bathroom in another building. I am the one that wrote thank you letters to our patrons, yet there I was looking out a window seeing the gala going on. I walked out and quit. Not being paid and being disrespected, nope.
When I was in college, my real estate instructor made a rude comment about my stoic demeanor. He casually told my classmates that I didn't like him, and I said, "That's correct!" to his face. I pretty much scared the Rodney Dangerfield out of him. At least I got an apology.
My advice is to respond assertively to any disrespect/provocation even if you don't do it in the absolute best way. The occasions where I did nothing are the ones I regret and ruminate on. I confronted a co-worker in a meeting one time and didn't handle it gracefully but it got the job done. She never messed with me again. Conversely I have let a couple of these go and regretted it ever since.
Absolutely agree, there are lines that should not be traspased under any circumstance. State that clear and keep in mind to try to be graceful and elegant meanwhile. That is why people who opt for treating You poorly can become your best teachers!!
My sister screamed at me on the phone for 45 minutes over a month ago as she had done many times throughout our lifetime. It always shocks me. And you really don’t know what to say. I tried to interject, but was not successful. At the end of her tirade, she said how she felt so much better. She felt better after hurting me? People have told me she’s jealous of me. I have nothing to be jealous of really. But she always insults me and finds fault with something about me publicly or otherwise. It’s been going on since she was born. I believe she has serious mental issues. And I will not ever have to try again because she told me that she hated me. Which is based on nothing. But I feel if she hates me that I don’t have to keep reaching out. She can hate on someone else. She must hate herself for treating people like this. It is pathetic.
As a the youngest of 3 sisters, I can honestly say you do not have to put up with that kind of behavior from her! I am not saying that my sisters and I haven’t had our far share of arguments but they have never lasted long and were never ongoing and one sided. Until she can get some help for herself and grow in emotional maturity, I would stay away from her. Spend more time with your chosen sisters. People who love and appreciate you. Life is too short to be her punching bag. You have turned the other cheek over and over and it has not changed her behavior. So she can own her own problems. I would just say, “talking to me seems to upset you so I don’t think communicating is good for either one of us. “ Good luck and God bless.
I had 5 days of it during her 60th birthday celebrations (I went with somebody else and the location was remote...). Went home on the Sunday, changed my number and never spoke to her again (10 years ago). She died of cancer a month back. No guilt, no regrets.
"you'd rather be an appreciated absence than a devalued presence" ...! So good! My friend has a similar saying - if your absence doesn't matter, your presence never did. Cheers!
In the past when someone has tried to humiliate me in front of others my response was “ I see you haven’t matured any since junior high, come on you can do better than that”
I might say to someone making a wise crack about me -- What do you want to be when you grow up ? Or I could to say to someone who witnessed the wise crack, --- I wonder if **** s Nappy/ Diaper needs changing !? 🇬🇧☮️
I refused to even acknowledge the existence of those who disrespected me, let's say back in college. Most of them are dead now, and I am a multi-millionaire and still creating original work in my chosen profession.
I told the bully that whatever made him hulk out and act like an asshole in a private group chat had nothing to do with me and had everything to do with whatever stuff he was going through. I suggested he see a therapist and a psychiatrist for his anger issues.
Yes, experienced many times such disrespectful behaviours. Toxic/narcissistic individuals thrive humiliating others in public and these tips are effective to disarm them. The "Sorry, could you repeat that?" forces to expose their real intention, something they will try to hide although not giving them a reaction, refusing to engage and/or walking away work best since clinging on negativity is pointless. Setting strong healthy boundaries is necessary from the beginning to keep abusive people at bay. The way people treat others reveals a lot about themselves. Thank you 💯
@@MentalDoseEn totally agree. Wonderful you handled it with grace and dignity. I’ve done this a few times I’ve said……did you get a refund or did you sue them. They inevitably say what do you mean. Sue who, and I reply The Charm School
My daughter in law attacked me verbally after I made a casual remark. I was a guess in her parents house so kept quiet, not wanting to make a scene in front of strangers. When a similar incident happened again …. Informed my son, although I loved him to bits, wasn’t prepared to put up with his wife’s behaviour - my granddaughter was a baby at the time, but my attitude is - what you don’t know you don’t miss. Don’t see them at all my son and I speak or a in contact every day but he has a new family now hope they happy. But I’m not prepared to put up with narcissistic people anymore.
Sadly the feminists don’t consider Mother in-laws as women too . The Toxic control they want over their man they will cut off from all female relatives of the man . A weak man will be manipulated but a strong man knows how to manage his domains well and to be the man in charge of the clan and maintain harmony in both families…. Sadly … there are NO Strong men nowadays . That generation is gone and the new Men are worse than WIMPS 😖
But, it’s actually sad that the family is broken, that kids don’t know their grandma and that they’ll grow up without knowing much about your side of the family. I don’t know what you said, so it’s hard to say who is right and who is wrong. When I was growing up in a large family someone constantly argued with someone else and there must had been some bitter moments (too young to remember or too teen to care); however, there were always peace makers too who diffused “the situation,” and we kept on going. Once, the age set in and people in the family became ill, it meant a lot to have everyone helping around. Now that the old guard is gone, my extended family is broken unfortunately; we were not capable to deal with trouble in the same way. The times are different too, individual comes before the family as a whole. It’s not going to be easy or cheerful growing old. No wonder people are choosing euthanasia not having anyone to care for them when in pain, old and demented. When I was young, we took care of our neighbors the same way we did for our grandparents. And almost daily, not just for holidays. I worry about all these broken relationships.
Who hasn't been treated like this at some point in their lives? Some more than others! How I reacted? Most likely in the wrong way being I used to be a reactionist to a much larger degree than I am today ... in my old age. But I always lived by the belief that "respect" is earned, not given; also, respect can be lost, so for those few who have earned my respect, don't take it lightly, I'm not the forgiving type.
Good tip - i once was in a pub with 5 people where one person that i considered to be my friend started making humiliating jokes on me and i said loud that he is doing this because he is embarrassed to be seen with a "friend" not rich enough. I never contacted this "friend" after this incident.
I use my deafness as well as body language to defuse situations. One such time was when I was treating myself to a birthday dinner and drink at the local bar. While I sat and had a somewhat expensive drink, a man sat down beside me, and within ten minutes and three beers decided to try and make a play. When he started getting a little crude, I took out my hearing aids, played with each a little bit, and laid them down on a napkin on the bar. I then turned to face him, and said in a loud voice that I was sorry, but the batteries seemed to be dying, but didn't he say he liked being tied up? He looked at me, the aids, and blushing, hastily excused himself for the bathroom. I put my aids back on, and the bartender came over laughing and told me that drink and the next were on the house.I was told that he was a regular, rather obnoxious person who always tried to hit on women who were there every time he came, and was a problem getting to leave. Two regulars at the end of the bar also got a good laugh, and offered to cover as well. I've used this little trick a few times, and the results have always been satisfying. A disability can be made into an advantage, like playing with the hearing aids, "accidently" whacking somebody's ankle with a cane, blocking/ slowing down a person with your wheelchair,.... the possibility list gets as long as you like it to be. 🤣😈😈🤡
As a group leader (Federal government) before I retired I would insist that people who carry on side conversations take their discussion out into the hallway, or else share what they are saying with the whole group. It is surprising how effective that was. I think this relates.
People who feel the need to humiliate others to get one over you are attempting to hide their own character defects and insecurities by deflection. By showing that you are aware of this, you can turn it completely around by asking that person if you could help them in any way. Whether they choose to admit it or not, they cannot hide from their truth or their fears. Likewise, if you own the comment levelled at you, you're demonstrating that you are not at all bothered by it, which in turn they will feel. Pauses, and not reacting, all demonstrate a deep sense of self control from you and serve as a warning that if they continue, they themselves are treading into unfamiliar and dangerous territory with you and are more likely to cease their condescending behaviour. The bottom line is that these people are bullies - and deserve to be called out.
My sister was always correcting me and generally being smug...over the years I've noticed she falls out with everyone...she must do it to all, not just to me.
I had the most "big" case of bat ears. School was a hellbox as well as conscripted service. So serious that I never planned on getting married and having kids. Met my wife, she rebuild my confidence over years. Our kids have her cute ears and we could afford corrective surgery early on in our marriage. So great that these life skills are becoming available. Thank you.
I have a classmate/ relative who would make fun of my father’s name in public, but in a sneaky way so that people within earshot would not be aware. He would also belittle my appearance or anything that I do. I had always tolerated it given that we shared at least 40 years of knowing each other. I now know that I had been wrong to tolerate this disrespect. These videos help me deal with the situation
Good for you Sorry you tolerated it but it's NEVER too late to learn ❤ I am 69 and now comes a turning Point for "those" familie members KARMA is a Bitch and sometimes comes with interests too I Will set back and watch but I too need to learn from videos like this 👍👍✍️✍️✍️✍️💌💌🙏🙏
My hubby always criticized my choice , my decision, I always ignored it but once when he openly said that ," U have a bad choice "& very calmly I replied , " Yes dear. I agree , just see urself in the mirror that's my choice 🤣 . Never ever he did that again
Never say I am sorry to a bully. It is subservient instead of “I’m sorry,” one can say calmly, “excuse me.” And a stronger boundary setting reply is, “I do not give you permission to speak to me that way.” I am a trauma therapist for almost 40 years and counsel survivors. A trait oof surviorsmis is that they say, “I am sorry” often when not necessary.
My husband's grown son has tried to humiliate me in front of the entire staff of the hospital regarding his father more than once; changing the subject, challenging everyone in the room and taking over the meeting as if he was in charge. He's attempted to ruin every special occasion. I no longer communicate with him. He had a full blown tantrum because he didn't get his way which was against his father's wishes. His father asked him to stop the unpleasantness but he won't. He has no empathy for how his attacks on me affect his father, and one day he is going to hear how much his father has cried over his behavior. I'm through with childish games. I already had in-laws and family like this. I'm not going through this again! I'm healing from childhood trauma and narcissist abuse from my first marriage; and am standing up for myself, now; fighting the evil narc once more.
Sitting around a big table, it became obvious that the person sitting almost opposite me was being rude towards me and trying to get a rise from me, he was coming out with remarks about my family and gesturing that I had just come out from prison, he didn't really know who I was. Halfway through the meeting I picked up my chair walked around the table and placed my chair directly behind him and sat quietly. He instantly felt uncomfortable. At the end of the meeting I leaned in and asked if he had anything to say to me as I really couldnt hear what he was saying. I stood up and put my hand out to shake his hand, he became so embarassed shook my hand and apologised. This was in an AA meeting. You could say I've seen and heard it all, so nothing fazed me
I was married to a covert, passive aggressive, narcissist, who actually tried to embarrass me in front of his daughter and his ex-wife. I finally just really called him out on it, and he shut his mouth. And his daughter and his ex-wife looked at each other and looked at me, like yes! He was a complete jerk. I left after not even two years of being married. Actually I left long before I physically left after six months. I could tell what he was and I haven’t looked back.
When looking for a future husband, take time, watch what he DOES. Eventually (the Mask comes off and) all men will show their true nature! Then you'll know what to expect in a marriage.
Yes I've experienced it in the working place, i just remained silent and walked away,but after I've watched this video I will know what to do thank you very much
I know how you feel,i work with a so called friend who will always try to get in a joke at my expense in front of a crowd,it puts me on edge because i know he will try to embarrass me,but this video has given me the tools to hit back. At the end of the day,they are not friends really,not if they behave like this.
Whoever is reading this, I wish you endless happiness, unwavering peace, boundless prosperity, perfect health, and countless blessings from above. May your life be filled with joy and your heart with contentment. 🤗💖
When I was in grade school I was bullied a lot. Being sick of it I asked my parents for weights for Christmas. They got me a set of springs, you could do everything with them. I worked out every day for four months at which time I was down at the school field after school. One of my classmates thought it might be a good idea to come up and bully me. I said I guess you want to fight, to which he said yeah!!! That was the LAST time anyone bullied me. On a side note, he said take those shoulder pads off. I said I’m not wearing any!😃
Met a fellow pilot with my medical transport company 2 days ago. Blowhard type, seemed chummy, asked questions about where I had flown, military service etc. Every response I gave was met with “I’m sorry…” One of those types, always trying to show he’s better. I Didn’t react, but found a reason to walk away and walked away again when he joined a group and was Mr. Blowhard pointing out other people’s screwups.
Personally, I'd pull him to the side and tell him that he comes across like a real douchebag. He probably didn't have a Dad and thinks that's the way to interact with men.
Omg that part about the joke works for sure. If someone says something, slowly and eventually turn to them and ask they repeat it. When they do, look at them as though what they said makes no sense at all. When they admit it was a joke, nod your head and say 'oh, ok' and then turn and continue what you were doing. The big thing is eye contact and a slow reaction because that always makes the other person feel uncomfortable. They don't know why you didn't react with hurt or shame but rather a stare and they don't know what comes next. Put them at extreme unease and they won't do it again.
Good 4 U! Those of us baby boomers were taught us as children to call adults by mr & mrs. And ppls looks were never allowed to point out anyones physical disabilities. My best gf n high school was born without one hand & i adored & loved her for her wonderful personality. Ive known her for 58 yrs now. She came from a wonderful mother both ladies were/are beautiful ppl.
When I was very young, maybe my second office job after leaving school, I had a tyrant of an office manager who would always ‘berate’ me in front of other people. Nobody liked her. One day I had had enough. I was like one minute late back a from lunch and she said “I wish you would get back on time from lunch”. I said “so do I R-“. She said “Then why don’t you!”. And my reply just flew out “Well, we can’t always have what we want, can we!” She never bothered me again. And the grins on the faces of the other people in the office was a sight to see.
At times at a bar/club, I'll have some random bloke out-of-the-blue tell me, that they don't like me. I: pause, stare them in the eyes, and calmly (rhetorically) ask them if I shall cry now or later? After their baffled look; I respond, later; I am not one for public scenes/scandals. :)
6:10 My narcissistic ex wife enjoyed belittling me at the supper table in front of the kids, so many times I told her if there is something that you wanted to talk about away from the kids later that we can do that, but her response was NO the kids need to her this as well. I decided to take the last tip and walk away from the marriage because there was no respect there.
My husband of 50yr always catches me off guard with an awfully rude comment or action. Usually around people that we don't know well or strangers. In a department store or repairmen. I think the next time he does it (somehow it always surprises me) I'm going to say, "Are you OK? ..."I'm sorry my husband hasn't been himself lately". Also he will walk 30 ft ahead of me. Even after all these years I just cannot seem to figure it out. I rarely go anywhere with him now except to dinner with friends as he doesn't do it with people who know him. Has always made me so sad.
@Blessedpb Do you have any interests or hobbies of your own? If he's going to insist on acting like a distant, uncaring idiot to you, then let him sit and vegetate. YOU don't have to. Go to a class and learn something new. Start doing something you like without him. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're conjoined twins, and if he actually notices, ask him if there wasn't something he liked to do before you got married. Perhaps if you can get him off his behind, you'll both have a lot to share and talk about. I'm 66 and just started into martial arts competitions in my age/ experience group, so NOTHING is out there that anyone can't find to do. Good luck! 👍
If he's made the last 50 years so bad, do you really want to spend the rest of what you have left stuck with him? Depending on where you live, half of whatever you've accumulated over the years is yours. You can start over alone but in peace.
That is called mental abuse. I didn’t realise what my ex husband was up to until the female lawyer , representing me in court in the divorce hearing , said it to me at our meeting. Then all the abuse over 20 years became clear.
This often happens when you are being genuine and are off guard. At that time it can be difficult to think of a thing to say and you may be mad as hell later when you think of what you should have said.... Next time pause and say "sorry what was that?" and slowly... work back though with them what they have said to make sure you are getting the right end of the stick. Don't go off the deep end and humiliate them back, if it was bad say "that wasn't very nice" with real meaning in your voice. By now your defences will be back on line and you will be able to think of rational statements to back up why you are hurt by what they said. Do not tolerate toxic people and get away from them if you can. Think of the people who like you, and of happy times, and if you are still angry about the past then remember the phrase that staying angry is like drinking poison and then expecting your enemy to die...The poisonous people are the unhappy ones, just move on knowing you will handle things just that bit better next time.
This situation happened to me. the toxic person barely knew me at all. And I pointed that out to her. I asked her, " How can say such things about me when you don't even know me? She stopped and I never saw her again.
Years ago I was in a drug store and needed something behind the counter. There were 2 young employees behind the counter having a personal conversation. I was in a rush to get back to work and after waiting a couple of minutes said to them "Excuse me, do you work here?". The fact that they were behind the counter wearing the store uniforms made that apparent.
I'm a lone wolf type too. My experience is that ignoring doesn't work and encourages jerks to keep acting like jerks. I've had to learn how to call people out on their bad behavior in the moment. It's a hard thing to do if your not used to confronting people like that (especially if they are an authority figure).
Another great tip: when someone asks you an inappropriate question that rubs you the wrong way, calmly reply as you look them in the eye... "why do you ask?" I've used that several times. It completely flusters and embarrasses the other person. It works great, especially when done in public. The respect you will get from the people around you will go through the roof!
When someone shown disrespect, I 1) smile 2) say: thank you for your opinion Doing this, I Shown that: 1) I am in control of my emotions. (smile) 2) I shifted the subject on his ground ("your opinion") and what he said (that's what most damaging him!) 3) I said that I am grateful of his help me learning that this guy is rude, offensive and a person to stay away from 4) ending the conversation politely ( _thank you_ = I have no questions; now, you can move on; I'm done with you at this time) 5) I am in control of the situation (by not letting negative energy damages me) 6) I send a clear message that I do not take one opinion can define me as a person
@@MentalDoseEn fact that you found time and energy to answer to my post (among 2, 135 other comments!) is a great compliment! That made me read my comment again!
There's a Greek saying: "Otan catigoras ton alonay, catigoras ton neaftosu." Loosely translated: "Whenever you put down the other person, you actually are putting yourself down." I shut down several narcissists with that line and the stunned looks they gave me were priceless! They were absolutely upset that I exposed their classless behavior. After a short stoic stare-down, I turned and walked away and joined others who were more gracious. I never gave those people another second of my valuable time. Some of them are extended family too. Ignoring them makes my life more happy and their lives more miserable. Hateful, disrespectful foolish idiots should have no place in your world. I forgive them but I won't tolerate them nor give them a 2nd chance.
Very wise words & on occasion as a Senior I have had others attempt to ignore my concerns, mock my concerns and try to make me disappear or invisible if you will! Your techniques work every time so thank you! Excellent tools for Seniors! ❤
I've had a woman complain to me at work. She had good reasons to complain but no solution seemed to please her. After almost an hour, out of ideas, and after she complained that she'd be late cooking for her husband I asked what she was cooking. We became good friends. I'm good at changing the subject when things become too heated. 😂
Sometimes introducing a new subject is the only thing left to do with a complainer... if you can think of one. One day I was walking with a co-worker from the parking lot to our offices in the lower level of the same building. He was usually cheerful and funny/goofy, but that day all he could do was gripe about everything. When he finally paused for breath, I said to him, "Jerry, I've been told that every day above ground is a good day." He replied (seriously, not jokingly), "That's what I told myself this morning... until I remembered I work in the basement." I couldn't think of anything to say to that.
A frienemy in my friend group used to frequently make snide comments about what I did, said, wore, etc. This went on for some time. Exasperated, I wheeled around on her and said, "Why do you find me so interesting? I don't find you interesting at all." Never had problems with her after that.
Growing up I've always been the biggest/tallest in my school. I've only been in one fight my entire life (4th grade) but just giving them a disapproving look always get them to shut up and think twice. This still works today.
I feel like the most important thing about these techniques, is that they are meant to help you deal with douche bags where you can not simply walk away from the situation. Such as at work. You might not be able to just ignore a co-worker every day.
It happens to me all the time husband and sisters.I give them the look. What pisses me off is when people are present They laugh at the sarcasm.I have learnt to be happy not putting my self in that situation. All the best you lovely people out there who Do Not Deserve this Treatment.
Thank you! These 2 particularly good for me: ask person to repeat what they said, and respond with a nonsequitur. I can't recall being disrespected, thankfully. Some of the other commenters have been in kind of nasty situations. There's a line in the Dhammapada, "Patiently will I bear ill treatment, as the elephant bears the rod. The world is indeed ill-natured."
I won't say who but there was someone in my wife's side of the family that is disrespectful to me in matters of parenting and she once commanded orders at me to pick my son up when he slipped and bumped his head crying (I was already about to pick him up without her input). I called attention at her by saying, "You know, as a father you'd have to assume I have a sense of protection of my own kids. You don't have to tell me to pick up my own son." She got flustered and rushed to her own defense saying, "Oh I'm not criticizing the way you do things..." (Yea... a caught red-handed reaction) Her husband privately chatted with her about the incident and she stormed out the door. She never disrespected me like that ever again since.
I have a story about how someone disrespected me and I said something that put them in their place but the best part of it is that then everyone stood up and clapped.
I walked away from Nasty inlaw family, which was on going for years, just moved on years back after that unpleasantness with my own life, very happy with my husband and children, grandchildren. I taught my children to respect everyone and to love there sisters, brothers and children also to help one another, In need and in sickness. Great video thx
We took a group tour in Iceland. A different hotel every day. It was cold and rainy. At one point I lay down on my bed for about two hours before dinner. Afterwards it turned out that I had Covid, but that doesn't matter. When I told that in the group, I received the comment: "So, then you haven't taken a shower yet and you haven't been washed yet." That comment was so embarrassing that someone else answered for me and put that person in her place.
Matt 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart, and you will find rest for you souls." Jesus. We don't have to labour in counter engagements. Our value is not extrinsic or man given, our value is intrinsic because it follows from God. Spiritual maturity comes when we allow things like insults or disrespect to flow over our head like a wind. Only in this state will you have peace.
I have always been able to have a comeback that destroyed their insult. For example when a short person jealous of my height said something like " You know good things come in small packages" i quickly replied, " Everyone gets what they deserve" . It shut them up immediately.
Yes! I am often interupted by people who walk up and start talking, unaware of what was going on or that they interupted a conversation!! Sometimes I wait untill their done, other times I tell them, "we were talking"!!
I have experienced once being picked out of my work group for unjustified criticism. When the accuser addressed me, I asked to be excused for a minute, left the room, leaving the door open and I didn’t return. I learnt later that it deflated him and he never did it again.
so, on point, I believe that the key to personal growth and success lies in how we handle disrespect. Life often tests our strength by throwing situations at us where others try to belittle or undermine us. But instead of reacting impulsively, there are powerful psychological techniques we can use to reclaim control and maintain our dignity. 💪✨ When faced with disrespect-whether in social, family, or work settings-remember that the first step is to establish self-respect. It’s not about forcing others to respect you, but about making it clear that you won’t tolerate being taken advantage of. Setting clear boundaries is essential. 👏 1st Tip: Always make a strong first impression by standing up, maintaining eye contact, and offering a firm handshake. Your body language speaks volumes about how you expect to be treated. 💼👀 2nd Tip: If interrupted, respond with a firm look and calmly ask to continue. It shows you're not afraid to assert your space without being rude. 🗣 3rd Tip: When humiliated by a joke, don’t react immediately. Instead, ask the person to repeat the joke. This often forces them to lose the impact of their words, turning the situation around. 🎭 4th Tip: If provoked, use an out-of-context question to disrupt the flow. This technique shifts the focus away from the provocation and catches the person off guard. 🧠 5th Tip: If someone refuses to respect you, it’s okay to walk away. This doesn’t mean you're defeated but that you value yourself too much to engage in negativity. 🚶♂ Stand tall, set boundaries, and always remember: your peace and self-respect come first. #SelfRespect #EmotionalIntelligence #Confidence #PersonalGrowth
Yes, i have (who hasn't?) and i responded like this: ''Thank you very much dear sir, coming from you, raises my self esteem even more. If you were kind or respectful towards me, i would start wondering what i have done wrong to deserve a praise from you''.
Very strangely, I’ve experienced all of these in the past week. I am very pleased to know I handled most of them very well and a few could have been better. My favourite is the asking of an obscure question interrupting the pattern of the interlocutor. Great tips! Thanks. 😊
I have a simple solution that has worked for my entire life….fortunately for me I’m a loner, so rarely ever make any friends etc, but the few I do have I’ve known for decades. Keep a small circle. I don’t even know a single one of my neighbors, their names or anything and I’ve lived here for almost 19 years. I just give a fake wave and make believe I’m talking on my cell phone so they could not possibly try to start up a conversation. It’s a peaceful life though. Can’t argue with a water cooler!
Once a coworker tried to humiliate me in front of all my colleagues. He was the only one who laughed at his own joke. I didn't say anything. Sometimes, silence is more powerful than words. Also, if you know how you are, you know that you can stand on your feet, you know that you can overcome any challenges, everything and everybody will look very small and superfluous and that nothing will affect you. Not letting anyone know your full strength is the most powerful tool you have in life. Never forget that!!!
Looking directly into his eyes (calmly but firmly) as I speak is something I do naturally. I feel the power it gives me and it doesn't matter how much bigger or taller he is. Looking into his eyes without saying a word is even stronger. It scares him and again it doesn't matter how much bigger or taller he is.
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Is your channel monitized sir ?
The perpetrator of humiliation, bullying or jokes always informs the audience about who they are. I merely responded to an attempted insult by asking the hostess not to embarrass herself in public view of ALL her guests. Shine the light on the behavior quietly but let it be known that they disclose themselves.
Try this...
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Than pray for ;
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Ask your phone or computer for these KING JAMES GOSPEL SCRIPTURES and may GOD BLESS YOU BOUNTIFULLY FOR READING GOD'S HOLY WORD and apply it to your daily life
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@@TheLordsClayPlease do cluck off.
Once a coworker tried to embarrass me in front of a group of people by making a stupid joke. I laughed along with everyone else and, with a smile, I said, "You know , that would have hurt...if I had any repect for you". The smile on his face disappeared and he never tried it again.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Good one.
Yup, just put it on my menu...
Will try it lol.
Zing o!
A coworker made fun of a guest speaker for his accent. During a presentation!
His retort: I'd rather have my accent than your manners.
😯
😂😂😂
Brilliant come back.
Good one👍
That was good
I’m 75 and have worn wigs for over 20 years due to a thyroid problem. Once many years ago a woman grabbed my hair and tried to pull it off. It was firmly pinned on so it didn’t budge. There were approximately 30 people in the area and I being the jokester I am, slowly unpinned it and removed it and handed it to her telling her to keep it as she looked like she needed it more than I did !!!! I spent the rest of the evening enjoying the beauty of my bald head 😂
😄😄
Now that's funny! I too wear wigs "Godivas Secret Wigs". I wear them cuz I enjoy being a different color, or because of the convenience. There just so fun.
This lifelong bald lady enjoyed this story truly, deeply! 👍❤️😍😎
I was raised to always be respectful and polite. It wasn't until I was much older that I came to the realization that I needed to be selective about who was worth my time, including family.
My circle has gotten smaller, but I'm much happier.
❤️
You nailed it, I know exactly how you feel always stick to your guns and never back down.
How about hair styles? Aggressor in front of other coworkers: "Wow!!! What happened to this hair style this morning? You mean you couldn't style it any better than that?" Response: " Wow! next time I'll think about how you like my hair to look as I'm styling my hair!
I really need to focus on your attention to detail more!"
@@AirGunVic My wife built her whole world around being her authentic self and only being around people who are safe people. A smaller circle is a free-to-be-me place, where EVERYONE is a Golden Rule person, intentionally, right?
Those who try to embarrass others publicly are the most insecure people. This is the only way they can feel good about themselves
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Absolutely right
I have something for them...
No they love to hurt people
Generally too, they tend to be weak and insecure people beneath the facade.
I am 76 y.o. I have male pattern baldness and started to gradually lose my hair in my late 20s. Some years ago I accompanied a woman friend to a large dinner group gathering at a restaurant. After introductions to a couple at a large table, the man said something to me like "Wow, you're really bald!" and laughed. I looked him in the eyes and replied " Did your mother not teach you that it is not nice to comment on someone's physical attributes? " There was a deafening silence at the table for a few minutes. I have often wondered whether I handled the man's rudeness in the most effective manner.
Thank you for sharing that with us 💛🙏🏻
"Wow, youre really bald!"
"So was your mom, last I checked."
Actually, it was my maternal grandfather who was bald. The mother carries the recessive trait which she passes on to her son.
I wear my baldness proudly. Thank you for noticing. 😊
@gearyb9870 Me too. I'm 74, and in the music business, the hair thing is is the apex of shallow farce. I did wigs, not good. My baldness is pattern, and there are tiny thin fragile unseeable to the eye hairs.
I color what is there ,and use a product that is a life saver for me not to look looked I frighten children.
It's called Caboki.
It's miniature short fibers of your hair color that attach to whatever may be there. There are other products, some too glossy, like Toppix, but Caboki is good. Online
If someone trying to put you down..they are already beneath you .
😍👏🏻
🎯
I'll tell him, her whoever, I like walking around but I don't like stepping in shit! See if it works guys and girls! 😂😂😂
love this saying!
When someone tries to humiliate you, you can also say “are you ok?” with a concerned smile. It is so diminishing to the bully.
😍👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I say that too ❤😂🎉🎉🎉🔥🔥🔥🔥
That is so lame and so overused. Reddit behavior.
The goal is to demonstrate your own dignity. Taking a dig at someone isn’t dignity. Why would you say that to someone if not to add to the alleged pain you are presuming someone caused them? Blaming them for being hurt. How does that make you look good?
How does it work ?
I have a manager who repeatedly excludes me from meetings or activities even though they are directly related to my job. I let this person do this in group meetings until one day my whole team were in a meeting with the Executive Director and one of my colleagues asked my boss why I was not asked to comment on a matter even though I was there. I said nice and clearly - “ I have been regularly excluded from this activity, but always happy to help where I can.” This was a huge embarrassment to my boss and I was happily vindicated in patiently waiting for the best time to publicly embarrass my boss’s behaviour in front of his boss.
❤️
Do you have any clue why he excludes you from meetings? Have you had the opportunity to ask him why?
@@fabiangroom3228 Obviously they were a threat to his position
I would start keeping a journal. Usually when a boss excludes you from meetings, they're planning on getting rid of you. It happened to me at a previous job.
Brilliant I love it,good on you mate.
A psychiatrist, in an article that I read recently, suggested that If someone makes a mean or demeaning comment or joke at your expense, look at them with a feigned look of concern and say...... “hey, are you O.K?”. The beauty of this technique is that it takes the attention right off you and puts the attention on the offender, with the implied suggestion that maybe there’s something wrong with them.
👏🏻👏🏻😎
They just respond. “I’m fine thank you” and go back to insulting you.
Or say something alike: I understand you had a bad day today... Happens all of us.
It is must be understood that such persons don't have any sense of self worth and try to impress others at the expense of some one else. Starring at them and saying v 6:39 are you OK... ' Touches the point exactly..
I find it more satisfying to directly call out the offensive behavior in an assertive way. Sometimes people may not realize their behavior is rude. IMO it can be good for them to find out that their behavior is rude and unappreciated. And if they did it on purpose, they will also learn that everyone won't tolerate their bs behavior.
I was in the service as an officer was walking towards me as I was walking towards him. He said 'I'm twice as smart as you' and without hesitating I said 'If you're so smart you'd never have said that!'
😯😯😯😯
And then you were demoted and taken to the sand pit! Joke. Anyway that is one of the many reasons I left the military. Obsession with humilation, not teaching the standard, do as I say not as I do, trashy people with power, etc.
It's quite simple some people are ASSHOLES
It's quite simple some people are ASSHOLES
I'm an astronaut.
While working on a project in the IT industry, my lead kept correcting a contractor’s English in the midst of the contractor trying to teach us. The contractor’s accent was deep, but not so you did not understand him or had to try to understand him. After the 3rd time of my lead interrupting him, I asked the contractor how many languages does he speak. He spoke 4 fluently and another he only knows enough to get by. I then asked my lead how many languages he spoke. Just English. He stopped interrupting.
💛
Excellent!!!
When on a call with telephone representatives and after a couple of times asking them to repeat themselves, I always apologize and
ask them how many languages they speak - it is usually more than two. When I say I only speak one., we both laugh and continue.
a guy in the warehouse would always walk up to people speaking spanish and say speak English you are in America. The company was later taken over by Japanese company. Two Japanese managers were speaking Japanese, and I told the guy, go ahead Bob, tell them them how you were saying they should speak English and I walked away.
@@hrodriguez112 lol I bet he didn’t get it.
Anyone disrespecting you is not actually talking of you but of their own fears.
😪❤️
I WOULDN’T GIVE THEM THAT MUCH CREDIT. They’re tacky and low class. Period.
@@BQN_BQN it’s called projectile. They project their own crap on you
@@emmsue1053 they are speaking from their own smallness.
@emmsue1053 yes my exact words.
While working as a cashier, this woman seemed intent on getting me to react to her rude behavior in a similar manner. I didn't (although i had to fight hard). I just smiled and helped her (and her son who seemed embarrassed) bag her groceries. She paid her bill. I said thank you and continue to enjoy your day. The look of utter confusion on her face😅, her son smiled at me and nodded his head.
Well done, Barbara!
Good work and the best things you did. Remember in the bible what Jesus said: love your enemy. Give him food if he's hunger." Try to be good to them or just like you what had done to her. And see, the reward of the wicked. God be with you.
@@len4319 1Peter 3:9
❤️👏🏻
@@len4319 Also pray for them; she sounds like she was or is going through something and not coping with it very well (maybe with no support or understanding). Hurting people hurt people, and many people are walking wounded. Remember compassion.
When someone disrespects you infront of a crowd. They admire you and are jealous of you. Bottom Line. 👍
🤗❤️
I agree
I totally agree!
@@Hummingbirds2023 yea and they come unstuck. Says more about them than you
Or it's a bully looking for someone weak.
I was at a reunion and a female cousin said something very similar about my hair loss. It occurred as I entered the room and was greeted by a group that she was standing with. I said, “I see your vision is still good, as is mine. I wasn’t going to say anything but I noticed you put on a few pounds. Hey, getting older isn’t all fun and games but at least we’re all still here!” Then, I smiled, turned away and continued greeting others in a super friendly way!
Thank you for sharing it with us 💛
One guy I knew could not read and write but he was intelligent, he was a Foreman on a construction site. One of the workers wanting to humiliate him said one break time….I was telling my little girl last night I worked with a man who couldn’t read and write, quick as a flash he asked him….did you tell her you worked under him? The perfect put down!
You should have asked how many weeks she was pregnant? Then say oh at your age, you couldn’t get pregnant, so it must be the fat!
Excuse me, I did not pay attention. Can you repeat it? - - - - this one is very powerful.
Thank you for teaching.
Yes!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😍❤️
If they are a smart ass, and are trying to annoy you they will repeat it. I had one woman try and constantly needle me, even when I ignored her.
You can amplify that with pretending to hold a microphone up to his face.
@@timrockman7 think you may mean megaphone?
@@KitKat-ob6nzNo, he meant exactly what he said! Think about it....???
"Distance yourself from environments that do not value your presence". Exactly why I'm not at my in-laws for Thanksgiving dinner tonight.
😮
Happy Thanksgiving 🦃
Don't know your situation, but id guess your wife loves you.
I'll bet she wants you beside her.
Life's too short ❤
My bet is that you had a wonderful, peaceful holiday. May your resistance to toxic individuals remain strong.
@@CaryCotterman
Know it's very tough WE ALL HAVE THEM in our families. But try your best to forgive and forget BUT NOT THEM 🤔 IN YOUR PRAYERS...
Sometimes during the HOLIDAY SEASONS HEARTS 💕 BECOME MORE LOVING AND UNDERSTANDING...
May God bless you BOUNTIFULLY for reading HIS HOLY WORD and apply it to your daily life my friend in Jesus Christ.
Luke 🌺📖🌺
Chapter 2 verse 14....
🙏✨🌎✨🛐
Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, good will towards men.
Good for you!
I was volunteering in a hospital & one of the staff would "reprimand" me out loud in front of people. It kept getting worse so I eventually left! I was so happy to be there in the beginning but she took the joy away. I was 78 at the time! Took me three weeks to feel myself again! I blocked her!
👏🏻😍❤️
I hope you made it clear to her superior why you left - otherwise they are going to lose more volunteers.
On@@keithgiblin2636
I was a contract nurse in a big CVICU in a major city. I made an unpopular decision that saved a patient's life but embarrassed the head of pulmonary medicine there. That wasn't my goal at any point, and he could have easily saved face, but chose to indict his own stupidity, so he kind of embarrassed himself. He tried to retaliate by attempting to humiliate me in return on several occasions. After about a week of this I invited him to the parking lot to settle things the old fashioned way in front of a large audience, knowing he would decline the offer (I'm a big guy). It was also the next to last day of my contract.
To my surprise the administration asked me to extend my contract as no one else seemed to be able to handle this doctor's ego.
That’s shameful towards anyone but even worse to a volunteer
I was embarrassed by my ex husband when he disrespected me publicly, in his family circle.
I approached him to tell him something, but he snubbed & humiliated me.
I felt ridiculed, embarrassed & walked away not only from him, but from the marriage.
😪❤️ I understand you
Good for you❤
@@gerismith1218 Double good!
You divorced for that, surely you could have sorted this out????personally I think your ex husband is better off without someone like you who runs when there's an issue. Marriage has its ups and downs.
@@odinikita4821 Deliberately disrespecting and humiliating some is NOT "ups and downs". I would bet it was not the first time, either.
Whenever someone makes fun of me, I simply smile and not say anything. Because what I think of myself is more important than what others think of me.
Super 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️❤️
Love this 🏴🏴🏴🏴🏴
That was always my strategy but I don't think it served me well. It lead to the other people not respecting me.
Actually, I've let it go, and I made some friends that way, Im the bigger person.
@@soniasingla4097 i agree. This way when there is a need people can freely approach you. At that time you get your respect back.
I've dealt with bullies my entire life. I learnt from a young age that the only way to respond is to go for the jugular. Take no prisoners. Needless to say I learnt bullies are also cowards - they always immediately back off and sometimes even want to be friends.
Thank you for sharing that with us 💛
I react exactly like the video explained. I work in a lower position around many doctors. Most are very disrespectful to anyone below their status or who do not work directly side by side with them.
I try to say hello or start small talk but most of the time because of what I do at the hospital, there is no respect given in return. Those doctors or higher ups I just ignore. Brush them off as much as I can. I also do not recommend to friends or family or for myself their services. In my humble opinion remember to shine bright somewhere in your life. The doctors I talked about shine at their work. But in many cases that's it. Their work consumes them. I shine outside of work. My wife, kids and other relatives and friends are a blessing for me, and I try to be as much as I can for them. Also if their mean, demeaning, rude or just jerks. Let them. They may also be angry with themselves, jealous or feel insecure around you.
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Friends very young daughter asked her Gran if she was poor ($). This was in contrast to her other wealthy Grandparents.
Grans answer was "We may not be rich in money, but we're rich in love".
I have never forgotten this.
💙
One thing I've learned to say to someone who says something hurtful or mean is, "That make you feel good to say that to me?" They always answer no and back down.
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Also, this can work, Awe, feel better now? Your clean pamper will be ready in a jiffy...
Or when someone repeats hurtful things that people said about you ... I stop them from telling me by telling them that I will only remember and hate the person talking to me.
what if they don't respond, or smile smugly. Some people are unintentionally disrespectful and that's who think you have encountered. Those sort of people aren't geniunely malicious.
I would say something like that when I was treated that way only I said You feel better now?
I go in shock and freeze. I am never prepared for these people. I am getting stronger and do tolerate less.
Thank you for sharing this information. It is always helpful to be prepared.
Me too! But don’t you find it comes from people you least expect it from, friends, family? It does for me, strangers I can care less. I just avoid people like that if I can! Stay strong!
Practice, practice, practice
"Practice practice practice" is good. These situations are a battle of wit and confidence. Watch alot of stand up comedy and you will find the skill of observing and exploiting the flaws of others. Play on insecurities. For self defense only, of course. I'd be interested in past specific encounters 🤔
I freeze too ! I think of things to do 2 days latet...lol
You probably see yourself as NEUTRAL. Just a person living their life and making their way through the world. Secure.
The people who come at you are ACTIVE. They have negative things always ready to say because that's how insecure they are. They feel a "need" to come at you.
Sometimes the best response is truly to ignore them. But ignore them as if you are a King or a Queen.
As if your mind is saying, "Who is this peasant?"
Once as someone was extreamly angry of me at a meeting, I did not respond to him, but began to speak to the whole group about, how important is is, no matter what we think or feel, that we express everything with dignity and first of all willingness to listen to each other. The man flew out of the room fully frustrated and everybody (about 10 persons) were so reliefed by my peacefull words and way of expressing them.
Thank you for your reflection 🙏🏻
A soft answer turneth away wroth😊
I’d thank you too. Blessed are the peacemakers.
I want to be more like that.
I was at a manager's luncheon of about 35 Managers from all over the USA one day. This guy who sat across from me was a known jokester bully type. Everybody was eating and having a good time when this guy decided to say to me something about my balding head. The whole table got dead silent waiting to see how I would reply. You could have heard a pin drop it was soooo quiet...! I leaned back in my seat and turned my head to the right and a few people down to my right my friend from Maryland was looking at me as if to say wtf is his problem... I winked at him as if to say (watch this)... I said " Bill I'm really surprised at you...!!!" EVERYBODY was looking! He said "WHY Ray" I said to him... "I thought you were more intelligent that that" He said "What do you mean?" I said "I never thought you would stoop that low to establish your self-worth by degrading others..." The WHOLE Table busted out laughing at him...! I looked over at my friend and I saw him nodding his head up & down with this grin on his face looking at me with approval... Bill NEVER ever dissed me again...! 👍
Thanks for sharing it with us 💙
I would have said "Your wife doesn't mind."
@@GUITARTIME2024 *rimshot*
Now in my 70’s my lived experience is that you should never let it go unchallenged, what ever strategy you adopt it should be employed first time around. Letting something like that go often induces a pattern of behaviour that will be repeated over and over again, it sets the precedent that you are fair game and you will worry and become anxious around them and possibly in other gatherings and it will destroy your confidence. It is bullying behaviour and in my youth we were told never to submit to it - but I like others always did until a moment in life when I realised that having a strategy and acting instantly to put the bully in their place really does work. I decided being timid only resulted in more of the same but if the bully comes to regret their action it is never repeated - it is no longer satisfying or fun, it has humiliating or painful consequences.
Thank you for sharing that with us 🙏🏻
100% correct. To stop a bully you have to be a bully to that person. They are looking to make themselves feel powerful. Stop it immediately or it will continue.
Actually I just experienced something similar last week in a board meeting for a small volunteer organization. Twice I was cut off publicly in what was humiliating. At first I didn’t know how to react but a couple of days later I wrote an email to one of the board members informing them that I would be no longer working with such organization.
Thank you for sharing that with us ❤️
“I apologize for talking while you were rudely interrupting me, son.”
@@chuckinhouston9952 great. They’re not worthy of you. I too have walked away from several meetings/people. They’ll miss you long after you you’ll ever miss them. When you see them again invariably they want to be pleasant. What I say is. I have nothing but bad memories about you. Have a good day. Bye, and walk away again
I volunteered for a non profit. Secretary. We had a fund raiser and I was in charge of a bathroom in another building. I am the one that wrote thank you letters to our patrons, yet there I was looking out a window seeing the gala going on. I walked out and quit. Not being paid and being disrespected, nope.
When I was in college, my real estate instructor made a rude comment about my stoic demeanor. He casually told my classmates that I didn't like him, and I said, "That's correct!" to his face. I pretty much scared the Rodney Dangerfield out of him. At least I got an apology.
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When he told your classmates that you didn't like him, I might have replied.... so your not as stupid as everyone thinks you are!!!
My advice is to respond assertively to any disrespect/provocation even if you don't do it in the absolute best way. The occasions where I did nothing are the ones I regret and ruminate on. I confronted a co-worker in a meeting one time and didn't handle it gracefully but it got the job done. She never messed with me again. Conversely I have let a couple of these go and regretted it ever since.
Thank you for sharing that with us 🙏🏻
Absolutely agree, there are lines that should not be traspased under any circumstance. State that clear and keep in mind to try to be graceful and elegant meanwhile. That is why people who opt for treating You poorly can become your best teachers!!
To everyone watching, may your life be rich in purpose, full of love, and guided by light. Wishing you peace and joy always.
Thank you
Thank you ❤️
Thank you
Thank you, wish you well too. ☺️🙏🏻🤗
Thank you
My sister screamed at me on the phone for 45 minutes over a month ago as she had done many times throughout our lifetime. It always shocks me. And you really don’t know what to say. I tried to interject, but was not successful. At the end of her tirade, she said how she felt so much better. She felt better after hurting me? People have told me she’s jealous of me. I have nothing to be jealous of really. But she always insults me and finds fault with something about me publicly or otherwise. It’s been going on since she was born. I believe she has serious mental issues. And I will not ever have to try again because she told me that she hated me. Which is based on nothing. But I feel if she hates me that I don’t have to keep reaching out. She can hate on someone else. She must hate herself for treating people like this. It is pathetic.
😪😪 I understand you ❤️
As a the youngest of 3 sisters, I can honestly say you do not have to put up with that kind of behavior from her! I am not saying that my sisters and I haven’t had our far share of arguments but they have never lasted long and were never ongoing and one sided.
Until she can get some help for herself and grow in emotional maturity, I would stay away from her.
Spend more time with your chosen sisters. People who love and appreciate you. Life is too short to be her punching bag. You have turned the other cheek over and over and it has not changed her behavior. So she can own her own problems.
I would just say, “talking to me seems to upset you so I don’t think communicating is good for either one of us. “
Good luck and God bless.
I had 5 days of it during her 60th birthday celebrations (I went with somebody else and the location was remote...). Went home on the Sunday, changed my number and never spoke to her again (10 years ago). She died of cancer a month back. No guilt, no regrets.
Black marker ■ permanent mark out the phone number. Do not pickup area code calls. Do not block on devices, but use it as an alarm system. M
She might be bi polar...I know someone with it.
"you'd rather be an appreciated absence than a devalued presence" ...! So good!
My friend has a similar saying - if your absence doesn't matter, your presence never did. Cheers!
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In the past when someone has tried to humiliate me in front of others my response was
“ I see you haven’t matured any since junior high, come on you can do better than that”
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I might say to someone making a wise crack about me -- What do you want to be when you grow up ? Or I could to say to someone who witnessed the wise crack, --- I wonder if **** s Nappy/ Diaper needs changing !? 🇬🇧☮️
I refused to even acknowledge the existence of those who disrespected me, let's say back in college. Most of them are dead now, and I am a multi-millionaire and still creating original work in my chosen profession.
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In your head
@@samspade1841 Hahaha. You are exactly what this video is all about.
You are not a millionaire. You would not be here.
@@KpxUrz5745no, they are right. A millionaire would have better things to do.
I told the bully that whatever made him hulk out and act like an asshole in a private group chat had nothing to do with me and had everything to do with whatever stuff he was going through. I suggested he see a therapist and a psychiatrist for his anger issues.
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@@dac_poet BRAVO 👏 👏👏👏
Yes, experienced many times such disrespectful behaviours. Toxic/narcissistic individuals thrive humiliating others in public and these tips are effective to disarm them. The "Sorry, could you repeat that?" forces to expose their real intention, something they will try to hide although not giving them a reaction, refusing to engage and/or walking away work best since clinging on negativity is pointless. Setting strong healthy boundaries is necessary from the beginning to keep abusive people at bay. The way people treat others reveals a lot about themselves. Thank you 💯
Thank you so much for your feedback and opinion ❤️
@@MentalDoseEn totally agree. Wonderful you handled it with grace and dignity. I’ve done this a few times
I’ve said……did you get a refund or did you sue them. They inevitably say what do you mean. Sue who, and I reply The Charm School
@@sallycreitzman1953 😆👍
@@sallycreitzman1953😂😂😂😂😂😂
They end up lonely I think. Time wounds all heels.
My daughter in law attacked me verbally after I made a casual remark. I was a guess in her parents house so kept quiet, not wanting to make a scene in front of strangers. When a similar incident happened again …. Informed my son, although I loved him to bits, wasn’t prepared to put up with his wife’s behaviour - my granddaughter was a baby at the time, but my attitude is - what you don’t know you don’t miss. Don’t see them at all my son and I speak or a in contact every day but he has a new family now hope they happy. But I’m not prepared to put up with narcissistic people anymore.
Thank you for sharing that with us 💛
Maybe you were the problem?
Made a casual remark… hmmm😂
Sadly the feminists don’t consider Mother in-laws as women too . The Toxic control they want over their man they will cut off from all female relatives of the man . A weak man will be manipulated but a strong man knows how to manage his domains well and to be the man in charge of the clan and maintain harmony in both families…. Sadly … there are NO Strong men nowadays . That generation is gone and the new Men are worse than WIMPS 😖
But, it’s actually sad that the family is broken, that kids don’t know their grandma and that they’ll grow up without knowing much about your side of the family. I don’t know what you said, so it’s hard to say who is right and who is wrong. When I was growing up in a large family someone constantly argued with someone else and there must had been some bitter moments (too young to remember or too teen to care); however, there were always peace makers too who diffused “the situation,” and we kept on going. Once, the age set in and people in the family became ill, it meant a lot to have everyone helping around. Now that the old guard is gone, my extended family is broken unfortunately; we were not capable to deal with trouble in the same way. The times are different too, individual comes before the family as a whole. It’s not going to be easy or cheerful growing old. No wonder people are choosing euthanasia not having anyone to care for them when in pain, old and demented. When I was young, we took care of our neighbors the same way we did for our grandparents. And almost daily, not just for holidays. I worry about all these broken relationships.
Who hasn't been treated like this at some point in their lives? Some more than others! How I reacted? Most likely in the wrong way being I used to be a reactionist to a much larger degree than I am today ... in my old age. But I always lived by the belief that "respect" is earned, not given; also, respect can be lost, so for those few who have earned my respect, don't take it lightly, I'm not the forgiving type.
Thank you 🙏🏻
Good tip - i once was in a pub with 5 people where one person that i considered to be my friend started making humiliating jokes on me and i said loud that he is doing this because he is embarrassed to be seen with a "friend" not rich enough. I never contacted this "friend" after this incident.
Thank you for sharing that with us ❤️
I use my deafness as well as body language to defuse situations. One such time was when I was treating myself to a birthday dinner and drink at the local bar. While I sat and had a somewhat expensive drink, a man sat down beside me, and within ten minutes and three beers decided to try and make a play. When he started getting a little crude, I took out my hearing aids, played with each a little bit, and laid them down on a napkin on the bar. I then turned to face him, and said in a loud voice that I was sorry, but the batteries seemed to be dying, but didn't he say he liked being tied up? He looked at me, the aids, and blushing, hastily excused himself for the bathroom. I put my aids back on, and the bartender came over laughing and told me that drink and the next were on the house.I was told that he was a regular, rather obnoxious person who always tried to hit on women who were there every time he came, and was a problem getting to leave. Two regulars at the end of the bar also got a good laugh, and offered to cover as well. I've used this little trick a few times, and the results have always been satisfying. A disability can be made into an advantage, like playing with the hearing aids, "accidently" whacking somebody's ankle with a cane, blocking/ slowing down a person with your wheelchair,.... the possibility list gets as long as you like it to be. 🤣😈😈🤡
Thank you for sharing that with us ❤️
@@DeborahEvans-r2v I raise a glass of your favourite drink to you. Well done x
@sallycreitzman1953 Thank you, and may your cups be always full.
I'd buy you another glass, Sir! 🤙🏼🫡 this was a hit to read haha
Brilliant! Lol!
As a group leader (Federal government) before I retired I would insist that people who carry on side conversations take their discussion out into the hallway, or else share what they are saying with the whole group. It is surprising how effective that was. I think this relates.
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People who feel the need to humiliate others to get one over you are attempting to hide their own character defects and insecurities by deflection. By showing that you are aware of this, you can turn it completely around by asking that person if you could help them in any way. Whether they choose to admit it or not, they cannot hide from their truth or their fears. Likewise, if you own the comment levelled at you, you're demonstrating that you are not at all bothered by it, which in turn they will feel. Pauses, and not reacting, all demonstrate a deep sense of self control from you and serve as a warning that if they continue, they themselves are treading into unfamiliar and dangerous territory with you and are more likely to cease their condescending behaviour. The bottom line is that these people are bullies - and deserve to be called out.
Thank you for watching and for your reflection ❤️
My sister was always correcting me and generally being smug...over the years I've noticed she falls out with everyone...she must do it to all, not just to me.
I had the most "big" case of bat ears. School was a hellbox as well as conscripted service.
So serious that I never planned on getting married and having kids.
Met my wife, she rebuild my confidence over years. Our kids have her cute ears and we could afford corrective surgery early on in our marriage.
So great that these life skills are becoming available.
Thank you.
Thank you for watching ❤️
I thought straight away - just walk . . . Don't ever be around negative people.
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You can't always just walk away. Could be in a meeting, sworn in at a court hearing or trial, a large event like a dinner party or wedding.
Yes,wrestling a pig. You will always get dirty
Yup, no need to be around such people. They take your presence as permission. And they do it to everyone.
@@gildaturner3197So, be quiet, ignore, and when it's over, SAYONARA!!!
I have a classmate/ relative who would make fun of my father’s name in public, but in a sneaky way so that people within earshot would not be aware. He would also belittle my appearance or anything that I do. I had always tolerated it given that we shared at least 40 years of knowing each other. I now know that I had been wrong to tolerate this disrespect. These videos help me deal with the situation
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Good for you
Sorry you tolerated it but it's NEVER too late to learn ❤
I am 69 and now comes a turning Point for "those" familie members KARMA is a Bitch and sometimes comes with interests too
I Will set back and watch but I too need to learn from videos like this
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My hubby always criticized my choice , my decision, I always ignored it but once when he openly said that ," U have a bad choice "& very calmly I replied , " Yes dear. I agree , just see urself in the mirror that's my choice 🤣 . Never ever he did that again
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Never say I am sorry to a bully. It is subservient instead of “I’m sorry,” one can say calmly, “excuse me.” And a stronger boundary setting reply is, “I do not give you permission to speak to me that way.” I am a trauma therapist for almost 40 years and counsel survivors. A trait oof surviorsmis is that they say, “I am sorry” often when not necessary.
Thank you 🙏🏻
But what do you do if they ignore what you have said, and keep being rude. Do you distance yourself from them, or what do you do?
@KitKat-ob6nz Yes. Because rudeness is abuse.
@@carmenburnham1088 agree if rudeness is done intentionally.
@@KitKat-ob6nz Walk away forever. Barring that, invite them out to the parking lot---
My husband's grown son has tried to humiliate me in front of the entire staff of the hospital regarding his father more than once; changing the subject, challenging everyone in the room and taking over the meeting as if he was in charge. He's attempted to ruin every special occasion. I no longer communicate with him. He had a full blown tantrum because he didn't get his way which was against his father's wishes. His father asked him to stop the unpleasantness but he won't. He has no empathy for how his attacks on me affect his father, and one day he is going to hear how much his father has cried over his behavior. I'm through with childish games. I already had in-laws and family like this. I'm not going through this again! I'm healing from childhood trauma and narcissist abuse from my first marriage; and am standing up for myself, now; fighting the evil narc once more.
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Sitting around a big table, it became obvious that the person sitting almost opposite me was being rude towards me and trying to get a rise from me, he was coming out with remarks about my family and gesturing that I had just come out from prison, he didn't really know who I was. Halfway through the meeting I picked up my chair walked around the table and placed my chair directly behind him and sat quietly. He instantly felt uncomfortable. At the end of the meeting I leaned in and asked if he had anything to say to me as I really couldnt hear what he was saying. I stood up and put my hand out to shake his hand, he became so embarassed shook my hand and apologised. This was in an AA meeting. You could say I've seen and heard it all, so nothing fazed me
Thank you for sharing it with us ❤️
They were probably still drinking to act that way
I was married to a covert, passive aggressive, narcissist, who actually tried to embarrass me in front of his daughter and his ex-wife. I finally just really called him out on it, and he shut his mouth. And his daughter and his ex-wife looked at each other and looked at me, like yes! He was a complete jerk. I left after not even two years of being married. Actually I left long before I physically left after six months. I could tell what he was and I haven’t looked back.
Thank you for watching and sharing that with us ❤️
When looking for a future husband, take time, watch what he DOES. Eventually (the Mask comes off and) all men will show their true nature! Then you'll know what to expect in a marriage.
Yes I've experienced it in the working place, i just remained silent and walked away,but after I've watched this video I will know what to do thank you very much
Thank you for watching ❤️❤️❤️
God bless you
First of all: why should I want to win the respect of unrespecting people? It‘s their game, I don‘t have to join.
I know how you feel,i work with a so called friend who will always try to get in a joke at my expense in front of a crowd,it puts me on edge because i know he will try to embarrass me,but this video has given me the tools to hit back.
At the end of the day,they are not friends really,not if they behave like this.
Whoever is reading this, I wish you endless happiness, unwavering peace, boundless prosperity, perfect health, and countless blessings from above. May your life be filled with joy and your heart with contentment. 🤗💖
🙏🏻❤️ Thank you
Very kind and may I send many blessings of love and happiness to you as well.❤
I have been humiliated by my husband many times when I was much younger. It was so painful Thank you for your advice
That's very kind of you. May you live a long life of happiness and contentment.
Amen! And back to you. 😊
When I was in grade school I was bullied a lot. Being sick of it I asked my parents for weights for Christmas.
They got me a set of springs, you could do everything with them. I worked out every day for four months at which time I was down at the school field after school. One of my classmates thought it might be a good idea to come up and bully me. I said I guess you want to fight, to which he said yeah!!! That was the LAST time anyone bullied me.
On a side note, he said take those shoulder pads off. I said I’m not wearing any!😃
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Met a fellow pilot with my medical transport company 2 days ago. Blowhard type, seemed chummy, asked questions about where I had flown, military service etc. Every response I gave was met with “I’m sorry…” One of those types, always trying to show he’s better. I Didn’t react, but found a reason to walk away and walked away again when he joined a group and was Mr. Blowhard pointing out other people’s screwups.
Thank you for sharing that with us 💛
Every time he says: "I'm sorry..." you could throw him off guard by saying: "I forgive you" or "yes you are" or "tell that to your priest" etc..
Personally, I'd pull him to the side and tell him that he comes across like a real douchebag. He probably didn't have a Dad and thinks that's the way to interact with men.
"I noticed you say I'm sorry a lot. Is that an expression of your personality?"
Omg that part about the joke works for sure. If someone says something, slowly and eventually turn to them and ask they repeat it. When they do, look at them as though what they said makes no sense at all. When they admit it was a joke, nod your head and say 'oh, ok' and then turn and continue what you were doing. The big thing is eye contact and a slow reaction because that always makes the other person feel uncomfortable. They don't know why you didn't react with hurt or shame but rather a stare and they don't know what comes next. Put them at extreme unease and they won't do it again.
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Good 4 U! Those of us baby boomers were taught us as children to call adults by mr & mrs. And ppls looks were never allowed to point out anyones physical disabilities. My best gf n high school was born without one hand & i adored & loved her for her wonderful personality. Ive known her for 58 yrs now. She came from a wonderful mother both ladies were/are beautiful ppl.
Thanks for your reflection 🙏🏻💛
When I was very young, maybe my second office job after leaving school, I had a tyrant of an office manager who would always ‘berate’ me in front of other people. Nobody liked her. One day I had had enough. I was like one minute late back a from lunch and she said “I wish you would get back on time from lunch”. I said “so do I R-“. She said “Then why don’t you!”. And my reply just flew out “Well, we can’t always have what we want, can we!” She never bothered me again. And the grins on the faces of the other people in the office was a sight to see.
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At times at a bar/club, I'll have some random bloke out-of-the-blue tell me, that they don't like me. I: pause, stare them in the eyes, and calmly (rhetorically) ask them if I shall cry now or later? After their baffled look; I respond, later; I am not one for public scenes/scandals. :)
Thank you for sharing that with us ❤️
I'd say "cool, then I must be doing something right". Works in America !😅
I've had a lot of success wiith "Did you mean to be so rude?"
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Were you born (rude/stupid/ ignorant)or did you study?
6:10 My narcissistic ex wife enjoyed belittling me at the supper table in front of the kids, so many times I told her if there is something that you wanted to talk about away from the kids later that we can do that, but her response was NO the kids need to her this as well. I decided to take the last tip and walk away from the marriage because there was no respect there.
Thanks for sharing it with us ❤️
My husband of 50yr always catches me off guard with an awfully rude comment or action. Usually around people that we don't know well or strangers. In a department store or repairmen. I think the next time he does it (somehow it always surprises me) I'm going to say, "Are you OK? ..."I'm sorry my husband hasn't been himself lately". Also he will walk 30 ft ahead of me. Even after all these years I just cannot seem to figure it out. I rarely
go anywhere with him now except to dinner with friends as he doesn't do it with people who know him. Has always made me so sad.
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@Blessedpb Do you have any interests or hobbies of your own? If he's going to insist on acting like a distant, uncaring idiot to you, then let him sit and vegetate. YOU don't have to. Go to a class and learn something new. Start doing something you like without him. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're conjoined twins, and if he actually notices, ask him if there wasn't something he liked to do before you got married. Perhaps if you can get him off his behind, you'll both have a lot to share and talk about. I'm 66 and just started into martial arts competitions in my age/ experience group, so NOTHING is out there that anyone can't find to do. Good luck! 👍
Maybe watch some videos about narcissists - they are famous for doing such things. I'm very sorry he has treated you so poorly.
If he's made the last 50 years so bad, do you really want to spend the rest of what you have left stuck with him? Depending on where you live, half of whatever you've accumulated over the years is yours. You can start over alone but in peace.
That is called mental abuse. I didn’t realise what my ex husband was up to until the female lawyer , representing me in court in the divorce hearing , said it to me at our meeting. Then all the abuse over 20 years became clear.
This often happens when you are being genuine and are off guard. At that time it can be difficult to think of a thing to say and you may be mad as hell later when you think of what you should have said.... Next time pause and say "sorry what was that?" and slowly... work back though with them what they have said to make sure you are getting the right end of the stick. Don't go off the deep end and humiliate them back, if it was bad say "that wasn't very nice" with real meaning in your voice. By now your defences will be back on line and you will be able to think of rational statements to back up why you are hurt by what they said. Do not tolerate toxic people and get away from them if you can. Think of the people who like you, and of happy times, and if you are still angry about the past then remember the phrase that staying angry is like drinking poison and then expecting your enemy to die...The poisonous people are the unhappy ones, just move on knowing you will handle things just that bit better next time.
Thank you 💛
This situation happened to me. the toxic person barely knew me at all. And I pointed that out to her. I asked her, " How can say such things about me when you don't even know me? She stopped and I never saw her again.
Years ago I was in a drug store and needed something behind the counter. There were 2 young employees behind the counter having a personal conversation. I was in a rush to get back to work and after waiting a couple of minutes said to them "Excuse me, do you work here?". The fact that they were behind the counter wearing the store uniforms made that apparent.
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"Pick a window", spoken softly, was a firm favourite of mine, back in the day.
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What does that mean?
I've just walked away, and being known as a bit of a lone wolf type, it seems to make people unsure of my intentions!
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Same here you’re not alone 💯
I'm a lone wolf type too. My experience is that ignoring doesn't work and encourages jerks to keep acting like jerks. I've had to learn how to call people out on their bad behavior in the moment. It's a hard thing to do if your not used to confronting people like that (especially if they are an authority figure).
@@GearheadExplorer85 not to draw a map for authorities, I can say that my wanna be big shots have run into a bit of bad luck, such a shame....🙂
Another great tip: when someone asks you an inappropriate question that rubs you the wrong way, calmly reply as you look them in the eye... "why do you ask?" I've used that several times. It completely flusters and embarrasses the other person. It works great, especially when done in public. The respect you will get from the people around you will go through the roof!
Thank you 🙏🏻
When someone shown disrespect, I
1) smile
2) say: thank you for your opinion
Doing this, I Shown that:
1) I am in control of my emotions. (smile)
2) I shifted the subject on his ground ("your opinion") and what he said (that's what most damaging him!)
3) I said that I am grateful of his help me learning that this guy is rude, offensive and a person to stay away from
4) ending the conversation politely ( _thank you_ = I have no questions; now, you can move on; I'm done with you at this time)
5) I am in control of the situation (by not letting negative energy damages me)
6) I send a clear message that I do not take one opinion can define me as a person
Love it
@@MentalDoseEn fact that you found time and energy to answer to my post (among 2, 135 other comments!) is a great compliment! That made me read my comment again!
There's a Greek saying: "Otan catigoras ton alonay, catigoras ton neaftosu."
Loosely translated: "Whenever you put down the other person, you actually are putting yourself down."
I shut down several narcissists with that line and the stunned looks they gave me were priceless! They were absolutely upset that I exposed their classless behavior. After a short stoic stare-down, I turned and walked away and joined others who were more gracious. I never gave those people another second of my valuable time. Some of them are extended family too. Ignoring them makes my life more happy and their lives more miserable. Hateful, disrespectful foolish idiots should have no place in your world. I forgive them but I won't tolerate them nor give them a 2nd chance.
Thank you❤️🫂
Very wise words & on occasion as a Senior I have had others attempt to ignore my concerns, mock my concerns and try to make me disappear or invisible if you will! Your techniques work every time so thank you! Excellent tools for Seniors! ❤
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@@MentalDoseEnThank You & Keep up the excellent work!🩵
I've had a woman complain to me at work. She had good reasons to complain but no solution seemed to please her. After almost an hour, out of ideas, and after she complained that she'd be late cooking for her husband I asked what she was cooking. We became good friends. I'm good at changing the subject when things become too heated. 😂
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Sometimes introducing a new subject is the only thing left to do with a complainer... if you can think of one.
One day I was walking with a co-worker from the parking lot to our offices in the lower level of the same building. He was usually cheerful and funny/goofy, but that day all he could do was gripe about everything.
When he finally paused for breath, I said to him, "Jerry, I've been told that every day above ground is a good day."
He replied (seriously, not jokingly), "That's what I told myself this morning... until I remembered I work in the basement."
I couldn't think of anything to say to that.
A frienemy in my friend group used to frequently make snide comments about what I did, said, wore, etc. This went on for some time.
Exasperated, I wheeled around on her and said, "Why do you find me so interesting? I don't find you interesting at all."
Never had problems with her after that.
🫂 Thank you for sharing that with us
Growing up I've always been the biggest/tallest in my school. I've only been in one fight my entire life (4th grade) but just giving them a disapproving look always get them to shut up and think twice. This still works today.
😁😁😁 So You should to help the "little" ones! 🫂
Tall people generally have advantage in terms of authority; the physical appearance already imposes it.
I finally figured out that it's not worth winning the respect of a douche bag.
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HAHAHA!!
Agreed! I will not even shake hands with them or stand up from the chair if I ever meet them again. To me they are nobody.
I feel like the most important thing about these techniques, is that they are meant to help you deal with douche bags where you can not simply walk away from the situation. Such as at work. You might not be able to just ignore a co-worker every day.
I agree.
It happens to me all the time husband and sisters.I give them the look. What pisses me off is when people are present They laugh at the sarcasm.I have learnt to be happy not putting my self in that situation. All the best you lovely people out there who Do Not Deserve this Treatment.
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Best thing i ever did to a narcissit "neighbour" was to say NO...
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Thank you! These 2 particularly good for me: ask person to repeat what they said, and respond with a nonsequitur. I can't recall being disrespected, thankfully. Some of the other commenters have been in kind of nasty situations. There's a line in the Dhammapada, "Patiently will I bear ill treatment, as the elephant bears the rod. The world is indeed ill-natured."
Thank you for sharing it with us ❤️
I won't say who but there was someone in my wife's side of the family that is disrespectful to me in matters of parenting and she once commanded orders at me to pick my son up when he slipped and bumped his head crying (I was already about to pick him up without her input). I called attention at her by saying, "You know, as a father you'd have to assume I have a sense of protection of my own kids. You don't have to tell me to pick up my own son." She got flustered and rushed to her own defense saying, "Oh I'm not criticizing the way you do things..." (Yea... a caught red-handed reaction) Her husband privately chatted with her about the incident and she stormed out the door. She never disrespected me like that ever again since.
Thank you for sharing that with us 🙏🏻
@@MentalDoseEn glad to share and of course!
Someone at work made a nasty comment and I replied "please be kind" it was met with silence and I could tell they were taken back
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@Adrian-ju7cm the city did that to me city worker's
Got every one against me
Best one!!!!
Yes a co-worker did that to me and I said the same thing and she was so embarrassed!
Once I ignored the person and started a conversation about another subject with others, worked very well for me.
Thank you for sharing that with us 🙏🏻💛
I have a story about how someone disrespected me and I said something that put them in their place but the best part of it is that then everyone stood up and clapped.
Super 👏🏻
Is your name George Costanza?
I walked away from Nasty inlaw family, which was on going for years, just moved on years back after that unpleasantness with my own life, very happy with my husband and children, grandchildren.
I taught my children to respect everyone and to love there sisters, brothers and children also to help one another,
In need and in sickness.
Great video thx
Thanks for watching ❤️
We took a group tour in Iceland. A different hotel every day. It was cold and rainy. At one point I lay down on my bed for about two hours before dinner. Afterwards it turned out that I had Covid, but that doesn't matter. When I told that in the group, I received the comment: "So, then you haven't taken a shower yet and you haven't been washed yet." That comment was so embarrassing that someone else answered for me and put that person in her place.
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Matt 11:29
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart, and you will find rest for you souls." Jesus.
We don't have to labour in counter engagements. Our value is not extrinsic or man given, our value is intrinsic because it follows from God.
Spiritual maturity comes when we allow things like insults or disrespect to flow over our head like a wind.
Only in this state will you have peace.
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Very well said
I have always been able to have a comeback that destroyed their insult. For example when a short person jealous of my height said something like " You know good things come in small packages" i quickly replied, " Everyone gets what they deserve" . It shut them up immediately.
Thank you 🙏🏻
Not much of an "insult" from them. Just kidding around, I suspect.
It is usually tall people who are insulting to smaller people because they are used to looking down upon them.
Yes! I am often interupted by people who walk up and start talking, unaware of what was going on or that they interupted a conversation!! Sometimes I wait untill their done, other times I tell them, "we were talking"!!
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I have experienced once being picked out of my work group for unjustified criticism. When the accuser addressed me, I asked to be excused for a minute, left the room, leaving the door open and I didn’t return. I learnt later that it deflated him and he never did it again.
Thank you for sharing that with us❤️
Incredible points! Commanding respect doesn’t mean demanding it; it’s about showing self-respect and authenticity. Love this approach
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I love it
so, on point, I believe that the key to personal growth and success lies in how we handle disrespect. Life often tests our strength by throwing situations at us where others try to belittle or undermine us. But instead of reacting impulsively, there are powerful psychological techniques we can use to reclaim control and maintain our dignity. 💪✨
When faced with disrespect-whether in social, family, or work settings-remember that the first step is to establish self-respect. It’s not about forcing others to respect you, but about making it clear that you won’t tolerate being taken advantage of. Setting clear boundaries is essential. 👏
1st Tip: Always make a strong first impression by standing up, maintaining eye contact, and offering a firm handshake. Your body language speaks volumes about how you expect to be treated. 💼👀
2nd Tip: If interrupted, respond with a firm look and calmly ask to continue. It shows you're not afraid to assert your space without being rude. 🗣
3rd Tip: When humiliated by a joke, don’t react immediately. Instead, ask the person to repeat the joke. This often forces them to lose the impact of their words, turning the situation around. 🎭
4th Tip: If provoked, use an out-of-context question to disrupt the flow. This technique shifts the focus away from the provocation and catches the person off guard. 🧠
5th Tip: If someone refuses to respect you, it’s okay to walk away. This doesn’t mean you're defeated but that you value yourself too much to engage in negativity. 🚶♂
Stand tall, set boundaries, and always remember: your peace and self-respect come first. #SelfRespect #EmotionalIntelligence #Confidence #PersonalGrowth
Thank you 🙏🏻
As an Indigenous person I get this behavior from time to time and I usually disregard the person and move on. I learned this from my late foster dad.
❤️ Thank you for sharing it with us
All good advice. I’ve dealt with abusive family members all my life.
Thank you for watching ❤️
Yes, i have (who hasn't?) and i responded like this: ''Thank you very much dear sir, coming from you, raises my self esteem even more. If you were kind or respectful towards me, i would start wondering what i have done wrong to deserve a praise from you''.
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These men needs air support 💪. Bravo 👏
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Very strangely, I’ve experienced all of these in the past week. I am very pleased to know I handled most of them very well and a few could have been better. My favourite is the asking of an obscure question interrupting the pattern of the interlocutor. Great tips! Thanks. 😊
Thank you for watching ❤️🙏🏻
I have a simple solution that has worked for my entire life….fortunately for me I’m a loner, so rarely ever make any friends etc, but the few I do have I’ve known for decades. Keep a small circle. I don’t even know a single one of my neighbors, their names or anything and I’ve lived here for almost 19 years. I just give a fake wave and make believe I’m talking on my cell phone so they could not possibly try to start up a conversation. It’s a peaceful life though. Can’t argue with a water cooler!
Thank you for sharing it with us 🙏🏻
Don't you get tired of being phony?
@@MeneTekelUpharsin No. It’s not phony. I really am like this.
Once a coworker tried to humiliate me in front of all my colleagues. He was the only one who laughed at his own joke. I didn't say anything. Sometimes, silence is more powerful than words. Also, if you know how you are, you know that you can stand on your feet, you know that you can overcome any challenges, everything and everybody will look very small and superfluous and that nothing will affect you. Not letting anyone know your full strength is the most powerful tool you have in life. Never forget that!!!
Thank you so much 😍❤️
Looking directly into his eyes (calmly but firmly) as I speak is something I do naturally. I feel the power it gives me and it doesn't matter how much bigger or taller he is. Looking into his eyes without saying a word is even stronger. It scares him and again it doesn't matter how much bigger or taller he is.
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