Jurassic World Fooled Us All
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 27 авг 2020
- 2015 really was the year when Hollywood fooled us with dumb, overblown reboots of old classics. Grab your shotgun and join me as I break down why Jurassic World is a bad movie.
Развлечения
Want to help support this channel? Consider subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/TheCriticalDrinker
Have you done a review of Last Jedi? If not, I'd love to watch you rip it apart.
16:43 That sounded like a rant coming from a commie drunk on vodka.
@Evil Doughboy i completely agree. The first was the only one worth a good goddamn.
I wasn't fooled. I didn't even know this was a movie.
Drinker when you do a retrospective review of Fallen Kingdom. mention that the game ‘Bullet Storm’ also had a dinosaur that attacked anything you pointed a laser and pressed a button at.
I have human DNA so I can immediately speak and understand any human language I've never heard before.
Ya gleet harr sinn mal fa tassan vejeerta glan!
goldeneddie burr lar snarl fasa jah?
@@myshcoolaccount Jah jah! You took the words right out of my mouth! Thank Flaragn somebody has the neepe to understand what I'm herrinartga.
Brilliant
#metoo...and i was once bitten by a bat, so now i have sonar when i flap my ears !
T-Rex: I never thought I’d die fighting side by side with a raptor.
Raptor: How about side by side with a friend?
T-Rex: Aye, I can do that.
Hehe. I get that reference.😁
@@rocksnrolls Chris Pratt- For Jurassic park *rushes indominus with a fucking sword *
@@zachsutton9866 ngl, that would be cool to watch.
Kids: You have my ability to add nothing to the plot
Pratt: and you have my hotness
Claire: and my heels
Salted Pork!??
The thing is, Jurassic Park was a novel in the first place and Michael Crichton spent years on researching the subjects so the story holds up. He also co-wrote the screenplay of the movie. That's why it's so good
The world is poorer for having lost him. R.I.P. sir.
He gifted us a lot of great books. Check Thrift books, Kindle or your local library for some great reads.
I really need to go back and read it.
@@mallorycarpinski1160 It's an amazing novel, I read it a few times already and I highly recommend it to everyone
Indeed. If you’re reading this and are a fan of Jurassic Park, science, philosophy, or just plain good readin’ do yourself a favour and pick up the Jurassic Park novels.
You know, one thing that I miss about older movies is that people looked like people. The characters don't look work shopped into oblivion to maximize their physical appeal in every scene.
Yeah Jurassic Park had attractive actors but they didn't look photoshoot ready. They were often dusty, their hair disheveled, their shirt damp with sweat and their pants and shoes caked with mud and ugly stains. Yeah there were scenes they were suspiciously clean but it wasn't pervasive as it is now.
Also it's hard to see the animals as a threat when the main cast never gets any lasting, obvious injuries.
I miss yellow teeth:D BTW in 1st one pants of dr Grant are green from grass BEFORE he sits at the sight of 1st brachiosaur.
Come come, now. Modern female characters must always be young and beautifully strong, flawless, well-rehearsed, and fully protected from appearing ... unempowered. The boys likewise need to look their best for the cinematic guillotine.
I've been saying this for a while, too. You don't need to give all the actors $1000 haircuts for every scene, it makes them seem abnormal. They really should work on people looking more relatable if they want the audience to connect with the characters.
The very last thing you mentioned is something that really bothers me. The only time I can think of a positive, helpful, allied character in the film who died on screen is Eddie from the The Lost World. Other than him, most of the characters that die are the villains (or otherwise just anal and got what they deserved) or random characters that we have no time to form a connection to. Eddie is the only good character that dies and actually leaves a bit of an impact for the other main characters. Erik's friend in JP3 dies (don't even remember his name) but he's another one that were given no time to establish a connection to. We think Billy dies in a heroic self-sacrifice, but then it's revealed towards the end of the movie that he was found alive and is going to survive. Defeated the whole purpose of giving a character a selfless, almost sad end by just nonchalantly showing that he's alive and with seemingly little more than flesh wounds.
Name a character in the Jurassic World trilogy who died and left an impact on the other characters. The care giver in JW died but she barely got any screen time before that, and her death leaves little more than momentary shock for the kids who move on like 12 seconds later and she's never brought up again, not even by Claire.
Fallen Kingdom comes and nobody important really dies. Dominion? Again, despite it trying really hard to be a hyped up and climatic movie, no one notable dies. It's hard to take the film seriously when you go into it knowing that it's almost a guarantee that none of the main cast or other likable characters will die.
Faxx
I think they had Chris Pratt riding a motorcycle with Raptors and reverse engineered the script around that.
Riding motorcycles with raptors is tight!
I give you one better. They mixed their Chrises up during a MCU discussion and then thought about the other Chris on a motorcycle.
There was supposed to be a scene like that in the Lost World 🤣
@@user-dv2hc8zt3o yes but that was going to be a chase not a team up lol
If you watch the trailers you'll se the important bits. The rest of the movie was just filler around it.
Jurassic World: we were forced to engineer weird hybrids, NO ONE was coming to see the real thing anymore
*cut to shot of heavily populated crowds of people enjoying the park*
Not to mention there are over 700 hundred species of dinosaurs spanning hundreds of millions of years. I think they could keep churning out new species without coming up with Frankenstein's monsters that have lethal and super intelligent cunning. Then, if they did wind up running out, there's a ton of extinct species beyond people would love to see return. Old megalodons, saber toothed cats, wooly mammoths, etc. There would be no need to invent new species.
@@TheHylden How you didn't even mention the Dodo ...
I never bought that premise. People still go to zoos with still living animals and movies *ABOUT* dinosaurs. People would line up to see the real thing until the end of the Earth.
The idea that nobody wants to see real dinosaurs so they had to start making movie monsters was the only almost-intelligent thing about the movie... And they completely fucked that up to.
@@sirpepeofhousekek6741 Jurassic Park isn't as easy and cheap as going to a zoo though. It seems like a vacation there is even pricier than Disney, so I guess I can see how if you're going for your Top 20% market you have to keep things fresh to keep them coming back.
The Indominus Rex is a perfect allegory for the film. They wanted more bite, more action, more shock and awe but it blew up in their face.
Ian Malcom’s classic “before you even knew what you had” speech applies to so many movie franchises…Star Wars, Jurassic World, Terminator, Zack Snyder’s DC, Disney/Marvel shows, even the new Halo series, etc….
It really does.
All they care about is money.
"Isn't the whole point of Jurasic World that people can get a chance to see and experience animals that walked the Earth millions of years ago? Why would they want to see some horrifying mutated crossbreed that never actually existed?"
I sense a metaphor about reboots of classic movies.
@Miguel Santos You bloody would. That's always been your problem.
@Miguel Santos Goddamn it Miguel! And we were having such progress in curing your... problem. Now we'll have to start all over again. Sigh. Guess I'll see you Monday.
That was the point behind the Robocop "reboot", when the project began it was supposed to be a soft reboot of the original films, with the classic Robocop design and a hard R. Sony then began changing things arbitrarily, so the writers and directors fought back by adding things to the story that was clearly them taking the piss on Sony executives. I bet you my last dollar, that nearly everything said by the evil corporate CEO was said by Sony's president.
This comment better be pinned.
*an unintentional metaphor
They were so preoccupied with whether they could make a sequel, that they didn't stop to consider whether they should
Maybe -life- filmmaking will, uh, find a way.
What is so great about sequels? It is a violent, penetrative act that scars what it explores. What you call sequels, I call the rape of a brilliant story.
@@theredstonebuilder1120 only 90% of them . 10% are some of the most iconic movies of all time
This should get a nomination for meta comment of the year.
Am I the only one that got that reference
Just when you thought movies couldn't get any dumber, life finds a way.
While I agree with the overall review I almost thought that the introduction of GMO/"more diverse" dinosaurs was going to hit on one of the more poignant conflicts from the original book that did not make it into the original movie. The conflict is between Hammond and Wu and the next update to the cloned dinosaurs in the park. A conflict which speaks to the nature of entertainment and reality and customer expectations where Wu says
"...entertainment has nothing to do with reality. Entertainment is antithetical to reality."
While they ultimately failed at delivering the same message that Crichton conveyed brilliantly in my opinion they almost hit on a thought provoking plot point. Here is the conversation I am talking about quoted from the novel
"consider my recommendations for phase two. We should go to version 4.4."
"You want to replace all the current stock of animals?" Hammond said.
"Yes, I do."
"Why? What's wrong with them?"
"Nothing," Wu said, "except that they're real dinosaurs."
"That's what I asked for, Henry," Hammond said, smiling. "And that's what you gave me." "I
know," Wu said. "But you see. . ." He paused. How could he explain this to Hammond?
Hammond hardly ever visited the island. And it was a peculiar situation that Wu was trying to
convey.
"Right now, as we stand here, almost no one in the world has ever seen an actual
dinosaur. Nobody knows what they're really like."
"Yes . . ."
"The dinosaurs we have now are real," Wu said, pointing to the screens around the room, "but
in certain ways they are unsatisfactory, Unconvincing. I could make them better."
"Better in what way?"
"For one thing, they move too fast," Henry Wu said. "People aren't accustomed to seeing large
animals that are so quick. I'm afraid visitors will think the dinosaurs look speeded up, like film
running too fast."
"But, Henry, these are real dinosaurs. You said so yourself."
"I know," Wu said. "But we could easily breed slower, more domesticated dinosaurs."
"Domesticated dinosaurs?" Hammond snorted. "Nobody wants domesticated dinosaurs,
Henry. They want the real thing."
"But that's my point," Wu said. "I don't think they do. They want to see their expectation, which
is quite different."
Hammond was frowning.
"You said yourself, John, this park is entertainment," Wu said. "And entertainment has nothing
to do with reality. Entertainment is antithetical to reality."
--JURASSIC PARK by Michael Crichton
Had they conveyed this message it really could have added new depth to the cautionary tale that is Jurassic Park.
Hmmmm, I haven't read the book, so that's good to know. I don't remember Henry Wu from the first movie (though Wikipedia informs me he was there), but just from the bit you quoted I already despise him to the core of my being :) That's half of what I hate about movies in a nutshell.
@@kjgoebel7098 one can see that the Wu from the novel represents a way of thinking that is prevalent in our society today? take for example 'reality' tv Wu could just as easily be saying, "...entertainment has nothing to do with reality. Entertainment is antithetical to reality." about that genre of 'entertainment' that is called reality tv.
facebook for example actually used to be an organically generated feed of what my friends were doing and sharing but that wasn't good enough for the wu's at facebook that had to try and predict and even dictate my expectations and make my feed what they think I want/should see... It's hubris it's literally artificial intelligence in the true sense of those two words combined and not what AI has come to mean in modern vernacular.
@@pa1degua Yeah. Sometimes you hear someone say "The customer wants what he has enjoyed before, but what the customer really wants is something new", but not very often. It does seem like people are starting to realize that you don't have to watch something just because it's got the name of something you like on it. I have some hope that enough people are going to rebel against the kind of automated emotional manipulation you're talking about.
I'm so glad someone mentions the motivations and ideas the characters in the original book had... I think most people have no idea the book even existed. I didn't, but after finding it and reading it it became one of my favorite books.
I need to read this book!!
Insurance companies that insured the Jurassic World park:
“NAAAHH, it’ll be fine!”
Lol. Theyd be like, "Sign here for the liability waiver."
I feel sorry for the families of the people who get killed or eaten in these films...the idea that someone won't ever see their child/parent/sibling/spouse again because they were killed/eaten by some mutant hell-beast created by idiots is disgusting.
@@All2Meme not to mention that any of the former Jurassic world employees would have black marks against their names but nah Bryce got a job as a conservationist and Chris got a job as a builder. Also NO ONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD HIRE CLAIRE FOR WHAT SHE DID
@@redhood7650 You would be shocked how easy it is to get a job by excuses. JW had a good 10 year run, so the incident of JW could have just been pointed at to another person who died during the events of the film as the "culprit" of you will.
@@ccateni28 yeah probably blamed everything that went wrong on the dude who fucking crashed a helicopter
You forgot to mention the part when the velociraptor and tyrannosaurus rex turned to each other, exchanged a high-five, and then the raptor said, "I know we haven't always seen eye-to-eye, but it has been an honor to fight by your side" and the T-Rex responded, "I do not know what tomorrow may bring, but today we are brothers."
There females
@@Cherryblossom-ds7zf Cloaca power!!!!
xD I actually liked that part, it was so retarded
😂😂
Honestly I still prefer the Indoraptor smiling at the camera
Remember when stories like alien, Jaws, or even the previous Jurassic Park movies, where the tension came from how much closer the creatures were getting *in spite* of the efforts of our heroes and not *because* of their poor decisions?
I’ll admit, I do actually like this movie to a certain extent and do think it doesn’t do it as bad as other movies, but still.
Using Ian Malcolm from the first movie to give concise and deep criticism of the newest movie is true genius.
This movie should have been all of 5 minutes long.
“The super Dino escaped its enclosure!”
“Holy crap! Follow the giant footprints and either kill it or capture it!”
“There are no tracks.”
“What? That’s strange. Check the signal for the tracking implant to see where it is and go get it.”
“The tracker shows it is still in the paddock.”
“Glad we didn’t open the giant sized Dino doors and let it out by accident. She’s a clever girl! 😉”
Roll credits.
"Oh, and before you go, here're some GIANT guns with anti-tank grade, high-ex, armor piercing ammo. How dumb would it be if we sent you out with those pea-shooters? Lol!"
@@613harbinger316 Or just implant it with some potent venom that can be remote activated or something
Or shoot it with a few 50 calibre rifles or bazookas. It's just skin and bones ffs.
In the first movie the T Rex caused the ground to shake when it walked.
In this movie the giant thingymabob made zero sound...
@ScissorMeTimbers That was actually a .600 Nitro Express. It's wayyyy more powerful than a shotgun.
Why is it that every time someone enters a dinosaur paddock, they always go through the dinosaur sized door instead of the human sized door?
What seemed weird to me was in the "super rex" paddock they entered through a human door, but escaped through the dino door
Well how in the hell would you design these things? There's nothing in real life to reference like the elephant exhibits at zoos... oh wait...
Because reasons
Because the indominus was in front of the human sized door, you can’t just get passed it 😂
I think people forget that chris and the other guy did run to the human sized door. But do you want to run through that thing's legs? Their only option was the dino door.
17:39 The fact that this quote from the original Jurassic Park movie can be used to describe the mindset of the Jurassic World trilogy is mind-boggling. Using the the original to criticize the new is brilliant.
When drinker mentioned the lazer raptors I just couldn't stop laughing thinking about it now. We got the next best thing "laser guided raptors"
Drinking makes us smarter. QED.
If I tried to ride a motorcycle through a jungle I'd immediately collide with a tree root.
Not to mention dozens of lashings, from all the various things, that are surely in your way.
I live in the phillippines, trust riding a motorcycle through dense jungle is borderline suicie. Uneven terrain, tree branches thicker than a man's arm, mud and roots that stickout like pikes.
Yeah, it'd probably blow up too.
And your buddy in the cool white armor would nearly get his head knocked off too
Didn't you see Return of the Jedi?
@@MrDogsledder lol there's always a path for the protaginists
They went from a T-Rex shaking the ground with every heavy step, to a "Super T-Rex" charging directly toward someone without being noticed. Maybe they added ninja DNA to the cocktail...
Well said. :) The Ninjasaur strikes again.
@@blockboygames5956 I'm just picturing a T-Rex tiptoeing around and I can't help but chuckle
@@darrellcovello7917 haha yes good sir. It also brings to mind the opposite of those things... A hamster throwing its weight around and threatening to rip people into bloody chunks. :) Regards. :)
I see your point, but in all fairness, that same t-Rex in the original film also somehow stealthily snuck into the clubhouse at the end to save them from the velociraptor without anyone noticing lol
@@theadoshiagoings878 in my mind, the T-Rex is tiptoeing... that's why it took so long. Lol
I actually love this movie, and about everything in it-except for Gray. He was annoying.
It’s something I can enjoy without a message being shoved down my throat that “Wahman good, man bad”. They actually allow Owen to be a real man, unlike 90% of Hollywood.
This is easily the third best Jurassic Park/World movie, seeing how JP ||| and Fallen Kingdom aren’t anything special.
I just rewatched the movie and I completely agree. Owen is unapologetically a badass, yeah the script is dumb but at least gives us a masculine hero.
And Claire has an underdeveloped character arc that goes from a career-oriented robot to a mother and girlfriend. I read that it made liberal news cry sexism so I loved it even more. Lmao
LMAO u guys/girls/however u identify r just as lame as the people u despise, but we all think dumb shit so w/e
“Your movie producers were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”
- some guy in some movie
What's your source? I bet you can't tell me, because nobody EVER said this line, especially not a sexy beast of a man.
Nah, it'll be fine.
@@fischeborne9713 oh you know I know... I was just afraid to type out his name... RUclips would take the critical drinker’s video down because they can’t handle that power in the comments section.
i was thinking the exact thing and was surprised he didnt include that bit in the video
I, ah, believe, ah, his, ah, name, ah, started, ah, with, ah, an M, ah - or, ah, an I, ah, for, ah, his, ah, first name.
"The script needs the plot to happen" should be a T-shirt.
IT'LL BE FINEEEE
@@tmlawson751 Ah, whatever.
@@georgebailey8179 BELIEVE THAT.
Why? Don’t know!
I hate these sequels i dont care how hot Bryce Howard is she cant save these shitty movies
This review was legitimately more entertaining than the goddamn movie. Well done sir
You know a movie is bad when that happens. No wonder why channels like this and Cinemasins are growing
Stupidest part of this movie was that in the middle of a pterodactyl attack the principals had time for a leisurely conversation and a long, lingering kiss. Really makes you think about priorities.
Sooooo... the writers invented a new dinosaur that can magically mask its own heat signature, and then decided that the best enclosure was one laden with foliage, and that the best way to counter that was heat tracking.
The state of current screen writing, ladies and gentlemen.
It would be much easier to just write that on a placard outside of an empty cage. I'm sure some people will still "see" the invisible and undetectable dinosaur.
I mean, Henry Wu kept the majority of what it could do a secret(the cuttlefish DNA, for example, which he didn't know would make it able to camouflage)as it was supposed to b military weapon. They had the tracking device as well(which the creature didn't claw out until it left the paddock), but Pratt and the other two workers just took it as gospel that the creature was gone because of the claw marks on the wall, went into the paddock without checking first and started off the whole movie.
@@phousefilms dinosaur+military weapon makes me shake with emotion
@@phousefilms could have avoided the whole thing and only paid out worker death compensations if they'd just used the man-doors instead of opening up the whole goddamn enclosure via the GIANT DOOR for literally no other reason than plot device.
Their SCP articles would've been denied with how horrible they were at Containing one animal alone.
Just say it out loud: The original novel was written by an M.D. who toyed with scientific ideas in his spare time.
This movie was written by career screenwriters who were ordered to make it, and are just glad to be working.
Honestly I’m happy the screenwriters are putting references from the books now all we need is some camouflaging carnos hmmm
@@thebestfriendsplays6623 they are so forced and lame
UnknownFlickZ if their so forced how come no one as a Jurassic park fan haven’t pointed it out unless your a big fan of the novels too
Ok so?
@@thebestfriendsplays6623 this guy is a jp fan and pointed it out and so have others. And besides nost of the fans will eat up anything
The first clips, with the extras being stomped and chomped and stomped by the dinos, all to the tune of a Bewitched show, was beautiful.
Jurassic Park is a masterfully made film based on an incredible book by a brilliant author. Jurassic World is based on…? Dinosaurs and money?
Also, RIP Michael Crichton. What a legend.
Jurassic park definitely isnt masterfully made
@@Don-fw3nv why??
@@muhammedzayan4399 because it’s easily one of the worst directed and terribly written movies of the 20th century
@@totalgv9155 can you elaborate?
For those who haven't read Jurassic Park. It's quite different from the movie.
As a PhD student in quantitative genetics, I can confirm that Drinker knows more about Genetics than the script writers of Jurassic World.
That's awesome dude. What is some research you've done? I'm in the process of getting a Bachelors in biology
That's sounds rad. I'm doing my bachelor's in genetics. How do you find quantitative genetics?
@@lokilaufeyson2537 you find them in cells . Lol
Would you care to elaborate a little on that? I’ve seen plenty of animals with similar DNA communicate with each other. Or at least try too.
@@JohnSmith-pw1gf Hey hey hey!
The big story problem that I have with this film is: this park was functioning for years, with no major issues, and NOW everyone makes stupid decisions that ruin everything.
It is wierd that the park doesn't have drones to scout out dangerous hotspots. They always go in themselves to investigate like dumbass horror movie victims.
Bingo and that's where the movie falls apart completely.
Was watching the youtube channel Hello Future Me explaining power systems in fiction and he mentioned the importance of establishing a ceiling, saying that the Matrix did so when Morpheus trained Neo and it set a standard for the rest of the story's logic.
TL;DR this script need to establish a cap for dino intelligence and human incompetence. Instead of trying to power creep the first film, theyd been better off trying to match it.
@@Ghost_Text Very much true, though I'm admittedly still a bit ticked off that, apart from how much they otherwise sucked, the two sequels considered the original Matrix to have basically established the ceiling.
Neo is "The One" for something like the last five minutes, and uses his powers to stop bullets (with telekinesis, which is also the cause of the flight, according to the sequels), disperse Smith and fly. That and super-strength, along with plot-convenient ass-pulls like sometimes knowing when Agents are close, is basically all he uses in the rest of the trilogy.
I'd have imagined him as closer to Doctor Manhattan from The Watchmen in power level, in the sequels - more restrained by his own imagination and fear of losing himself than in actual power ceiling. More of a living god, less of a John Woo protagonist. More focus on him coming to grips with having no limits within the matrix, and then contrast that to being just a man outside.
Would he rather be a virtual god or a real man? Would he subvert the matrix rather than destroy it? Would he, through the second movie, have grown to become the antagonist of the third, fighting the resistance to preserve HIS matrix? Would fighting a matrix led by Neo, opposing his former allies to preserve his own divinity, force the resistance to help the matrix break free from Neo, perhaps allying with a Smith in the process? Perhaps, as part of freeing the matrix, remaking the matrix into something new and different altogether, which then remembers and honors its debt to the resistance and helps them free humanity, thereby fulfilling the Oracle's prophecy - The One's turn and eventual defeat, rather than prolonged struggle, leading to the end of the war? But that's not what we got.
That is modern storytelling for you ha ha.
The level of laziness to come up with good scripts that makes it logical as to why this or that happens in the context of the movie is stunning.
Drinker you made a genius move by using Goldbloom’s monologue from the first movie in the manner that you did. Sheer brilliance and a sad truth. Keep up the great work!!
Yes, yes, yes. Too bad I've heard dozens upon dozens of times already.
Well who knew this would be better than most movies we have in 2023
The whole 'dinosaurs for the military' thing is headache inducing. It's a stupid plot point that I wish they had dropped in development.
but tbh, military dinosaurs would be pretty handy in guerrilla warfare, as long as you can fence the jungle properly first :P
But of course Comcast still saw $$$ in dinosaurs, so it didn't matter if the movie was good or not as long as it made money.
Killer instinct already did dinosaur hybrids for the military with riptor.
What do you mean? DINOSAURS WITH LASERS!
god that was so dumb...
I know right. I mean I get it if it was set in the 19th century or before that because animal warfare was more prevalent back then. But now with all the high tech equipment like high voltage fences, heat seeking weapons and land mines? I seriously doubt how would a non-plot armored velocoraptor from the movie could cross a properly competent militarized zone and end up in one piece.
Jurassic Park: T-Rex hunts a Jeep and wins.
Jurassic World: T-Rex hunts Stilettos and loses.
@keller blair
She does catch up to the 60mph Jeep.
She doesn't catch up to the 2mph high heels.
Malcom couldn’t outrun the Rex but *I’m-A-Wahman!!* could, Movie logic 🤷♂️
Yeah, they really should have had Claire kick her heels off before running. I loved Jurassic World and that was still really stupid to have her outrunning a T-Rex in heels.
@keller blair i heard the Prada plot Armour line of 2015 was quite the show stopper on the Jurassic world runways
keller blair nah, I would've preferred seeing her get torn apart
Probably unpopular opinion here, but I really liked this movie. Sure Jurassic World has plenty of flaws, but I've always viewed it as the film we should gotten to the original. A film that carries pretty much the same message, but shows how the world of power and greed just doesn't care so long as there's money to be made. They aren't just making dino's now, but actually making dino's what they want them to be, a scary premise in itself I believe Ian Malcolm was really trying to warn against to start with, it's just a shame it took 2 more movies and over 20 years to get there
Same I loved this movie
As he said its a good first time watch when u turn your brain off like the megalodon series
2:45 "and even the latter isn't strictly necessary" That f***ing killed me!
Jurassic Park: has beautiful color palette
Jurassic world: *_blue._*
Seriously, even Fallen Kingdom was better shot than this ugly mess.
That damn color pallet is horrible it even affected the Jurassic World Evolution game, its a cool Jurassic Park simulator but that pallet affects the game. Good thing the Jurassic Park 1993 expansion fixed that pallet with an option that makes the game look like the original movie.
The 4K UHD has the blue color grading removed. Doesn't help the actual movie still, but looks less vomit inducing.
I never noticed, now I can't unsee it
@@jacobritchie9150 Really? They re-released the movie without the blue tint? Reminds me of the re-release of The Phantom Menace removing that weird "pink" pallet of the original version.
Let's be honest, Chris Prat held up this entire movie like Atlas.
And it still sucked, Hollywood ruined Chris Pratt
Honestly this is probably his least great performance. I found it hard to really like his character
@@FlaccidSunday Yeah it isn't great but then it's hard to do good work with crap writing.
Fyi I've read a couple of fan fics based on it that were better than the movie.
Jurassic world is fun as shit.
Bioshock players:
*nervous sweating*
Agreed with everything you said. These studios don't know when to quit. It's sickening now
2015 was a bit of a turning point, and not in any way a Back To The Future fan could’ve predicted
The irony is the lesson of Jurassic Park was: just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.
Jurassic World embodied why Hollywood needs to learn that message.
Perfection.
Nailed it!
that's the embodiment of everything wrong with the statement "everybody is free to express themselves".
"Because you can, it doesn't mean you have to". Now we have a horrifying hell of terrible ideas roaming freely all around the world.
I wanted more Jurassic Park movies. They just didn't do it right. They should do more.
Hollywood: "What did you say? I can't hear you FROM ALL THE MONEY RAINING DOWN ON MY NAKED, GREASY BODY!"*
* From wikipedia: "Jurassic World grossed $652.3 million in the United States and Canada, and $1.019 billion in other countries, for a worldwide total of $1.672 billion against a production budget of $150 million."
The end where you frame Jeff Goldblum's speech in the original as an allegory for this film is legitimately genius. Well played, sir.
I literally scrolled down to find and like this comment instead of making it myself. Good job.
@@reapersaurus same lol.
@@michaelfranciotti3900 Same!
perfectly used hats off to adding that speech! ✊🐺
@@RaistliniltsiaR Yup, same. lol
"This kids go back to their parents, traumatized by the combination of their horrific experience and their collapsing family home, and grow up to become emotionally stunted sociopaths who can't find meaningful employment or form relationships." - You just flawlessly described my generation.
The problem is, that "trauma" said generation claims to have is all fabricated nonsense that only exists because of an overly fragile ego combined with a narcissistic worldview. At least the kids in this film would have real trauma from this event.
I mean. I got that but I didn’t get to see a raptor and t-rex tag team another dinosaur. I’d say they win in the end.
@@ReeseLeeArt yea this is just dum fun even with all that
Why raptors wouldn't be useful in a war, two words. Small arms.
13:14 "While Owen turns to comfort eating to get over the loss of his precious dinosaurs"😂😂😂
Claire's whole character arc was basically her hairstyles.
You don't usually get character development in the first installment of a trilogy, or franchise.
@I Am Sonichu !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its true though
@@Epic_1YT Spider-Man: Into The Spider-verse says otherwise.
This is a lie...
@@tidepods5506 I said usually
It's almost like the first 2 films were based on books by an incredibly competent author and the rest were just made for money
Ahhh ha! It's almost like there's a large, heaping, helping of sarcasm to be found here. ;)
Really, though? The Lost World: Jurassic Park is probably my all-time favorite movie..Ever. And Spielberg did an amazing job with the first two Jurassic Park movies, breathing his own life into his portrayal of the novels to allow them to become such timeless classics!
All the movies were made for money
I still liked Jurassic park 3 tho...
Except The Lost World movie was heaping and steamy and hardly anything like the Book.
@@mesadojova8030 But some movies respect their audience and don’t treat them like cash cows.
I love when Owen told that kid to never turn his back on the cage and then does it, himself, in the next scene
06:18
Well, I mean the named breed of raptors were actually also just the size of a chicken. 😅
And in the books there existed dinosaurs who could mask themselves similar to chameleons. But that was to enhance the horror factor…
If I remember correctly a baby was eaten by those tiny dinosaurs in the original and the sitter only found out, because it stopped screaming.
So yeah… the books were generally a “bit” different in tone; and it was made pretty clear, that they didn’t want to create dinosaurs, but monsters.
So I've worked in a zoo before, a rather small one at that, not the super fancy kind like jurassic world where everything looks like an apple product.
Here's a list of safety features that our wolf exhibit, a native species that would pose zero environmental damage if it escaped and would be minimal threat to the average adult (compared to things like tigers and rhinos, which were also at this zoo), had that the giant super murder dino didn't:
1) Airlock style multi layered gates. There is never a moment where both gates are open, meaning there isn't a direct way outside at any time.
2) An additional holding area. There is another closed-off section of the habitat that the wolves can be temporarily held in, allowing keepers to go inside the exhibit to keep it sanitary, place enrichment, and also allow maintenance to perform repairs from the inside if necessary.
3) Vantage points. There are several areas in the exhibit designed so that if the wolves become stressed out, they can hide completely from the public, but keepers have positions where they can check each of them. If there is a 0.1% chance an animal that poses even a slight risk of injury is still in an exhibit, people do NOT go in. "We can't find it, we think it might have escaped, and we haven't even checked the tracking chip we put in" is SIGNIFICANTLY over 0.1%.
I would bet so much money on the fact
that those Film-Makers and Hollywood-Big-Shots never
watch any Reviews, let alone Criticism about their Movies.
Yup, I used to volunteer at a wolf captive breeding facility and I was thinking the same thing as I watched this movie.
The dumbest thing is that there isn't a smaller door to go through, apparently if you got stuck in there the only way out is through a massive concrete door.
@@themarsman5155 I think there was one small door but the humans were cut off from it? But yeah there should be small doors every 20 feet in that pen.
Yes but the people that designed that compound knew what they were doing, they aren't hollyweird filmmakers.
Another thing that made "Jurassic Park" so good was its realistic setting. Jurassic Park itself looked as if it actually could have existed in 1993. It was essentially a hybrid of a then-contemporary Disney park, zoo, and animal safari. You could imagine it being out there, somewhere in the world, that very moment. The park in "Jurassic World", however, was a little too high-tech, so that the film appeared to be set not in 2015, but in a future about 20 years beyond that. It made the film just that little bit less realistic, that little bit less contemporary, that little bit less accessible, since it appeared to be set in the future (albeit not-too-distant). "Jurassic Park" hooked its 1993 audience by presenting itself as an immediate possible reality, whereas "Jurassic World" presented itself as an obvious fantasy, killing a large part of its own appeal at the outset.
That was what captured me about the 1st movie. Seeing expansive woodlands always made me wonder as a kid..."Are they out there?".
Fact that depiction of dinos in JW is not just updated but actually even more outdated than in original movie makes this effect worse.
I understand they keep some of old known animal around as signature of brand but imagine watching interaction between JP tyrannosaur and it´s more realistic version. That would present significantly different set of challenges. And don´t let me start with all these wierd animal discovered in last twenty years.
Petr Fedor The Velociraptors should’ve been far smaller, they should’ve been coloured peach, they should have been covered with feathers, the Tyrannosaurus should have been given fur on its back, there should have been more diverse dinosaurs such as Therizinosaurs, the Allosaurus' snout is all wrong, the Deinonychus have this weird sail on their backs instead of Feathers, there are no Oviraptorids, and the zoo looks like it exists 10 years from now.
Yeah the great lengths they went to ground the first movie in realism is one of my favorite things about it. There’s so many little details, like the gift shop full of JP branded merchandise, the staff all wearing ID badges, and even Dennis Nedry’s computer. They show the screen for only about 2 seconds, but it has actual lines of code on it, rather than the usual Hollywood hacker nonsense.
@@CaptainCoolzCT- "they should have been covered with feathers" wrong. there is no evidence velociraptors had feathers.
but Lord solar, some scientists told me otherwise! but you see the only 'evidence' they have is 'feather nodes' on their arms. which firstly isn't always found, and secondly when examined by bird and mammal experts (rather than dinosaur 'experts') the consensus was that it they were not feather nodes but normal ligament attachments. identical to those found on crocodiles and wombats and nothing like feather nodes on birds, not only are they the wrong size and shape but they are on the wrong part of the arms. the only evidence for raptor feathers is in the minds of some (not all, as many followed the consensus of actual experts on feather and bird anatomy) paleontologists.
similarly, there is no evidence the T-rex had "fur" as you describe it. its chinese cousin has what scientists generally call proto-feathers (because they believe it evolved into feathers), but firstly not all scientists agree that the evidence for 'proto-feathers' are external structures at all pointing out that the evidence matches how collagen fibers look like on some lizard species. (now i think the scientists who argue that they are external structures are probably correct but i like to point out that the science isn't conclusive on this) and secondly, these structures have not been found on T-rex. some scientists argue that since a related species on a different continent has them then the T-rex might have had them aswell (which while not unreasonable is not definitive and shouldn't be presented as such)
"the Deinonychus have this weird sail on their backs instead of Feathers" ok firstly the feathers thing applies even more to the Deinonychus than to the velociraptors as unlike the velociraptor there isn't even the 'feather nodes' to be found on their fossils. some scientists assume they would have had proto-feathers and/or feathers due to similar species in china found with proto-feathers (similar to a T-rex) but this is just as definitive as with the T-rex. (edit: ie not difinative at all)
-but secondly, it was confirmed that *the velociraptors in the films and books were deinonychus* (useing one of the old names for it, Velociraptor antirrhopus, as it sounded cooler) which explains their size in the books (and to a lesser extent the movies, they still should have been slightly smaller but oh well), so thats some continuity error (or more likely they didn't care)
P.S. i am not saying dinosaurs didn't have feathers, just that there is no current evidence to support it (that holds up under scrutiny). we might find evidence in the future though. also since "proto-feathers" are interpreted by some scientists as internal structures, dinos without "fur" even ones with confirmed proto-feathered finds are not strictly speaking scientifically inaccurate.
P.P.S. we also don't know dinosaur colours for sure and the velociraptor is not one of the ones we are even remotely close to guessing its potential colour range.
I liked the older kid to man up and protect his brother. It showcased him overcoming the uniterest and maybe neglect from the older generation, by his parents and the aunt specifically. That was a new aspect in this movie.
No….This trash
@@notwwwansik i really think it wasn‘t that bad. Had it‘s moments!
Didn’t fool me. I hated it from day one.
Fun fact: had Jurassic World, the park, followed the same protocols used in actual zoos, none of this shit would have happened. You don't go into a dangerous animal enclosure until you have a positive ID on the animal's location. You don't just guess that the tiger isn't in there anymore. And when you think a dangerous animal has escaped, you issue a Code Red that involves getting every person in the zoo into a secured location while animal control hunts it down. Like, fuck. And you don't let people just kayak among your largest animals. Or give them free range in hamster balls. Jeez.
And that's the least of my annoyances with both movies. They're perfect examples of these modern remakes, reboots, and disingenuous sequels that just regurgitate tropes and images of the originals without understanding how they actually worked to create good movies. Bullshit Colin Trevorrow's Star Wars would have been better. He's the a-hole responsible for Jurassic World.
If the plot of a movie requires stupidity to occur for anything to happen then it's likely a trash script. More compelling is a deliberate antagonistic motive, but that requires being able to not blow one's load too soon to set it up.
The problem is simple. Modern screenwriters don't give a fuck about getting information anymore. Imagine you write a script about a story taking place in a zoo... but you have never gone to any zoo in your life. XD
@@allankilic Or write a Star Wars film when you haven;t watched any of the others...obviously not talking about Jar Jar Abrams has he DOES watch previous films and just copies them.
@@allankilic It's not even just "getting information" either... It's about not even caring enough to make a story that makes sense. Like, it wouldn't even be that difficult to come up with the Association of Zoos and Aquariums animal care protocols if you just thought through what the safest way to run a zoo would be. But it's NOT EVEN that they wanted to communicate that Jurassic World was run incompetently which lead to its downfall. They just wrote it incompetently. They needed the scary monster to escape and that's what they came up with. They needed to have two teenage boys actually WANT to get away from Katie McGrath. They also came up with the idea of using dinosaurs in the military as though that was not the stupidest idea. They also couldn't be bothered to have an animal behaviour expert know how to do clicker training properly. They just defaulted to dinosaurs running amok even though that's been done before and wasn't even the most interesting part of the JW concept... It would have made a far more tense, exciting, and interesting movie if they were trying to STOP chaos from breaking out instead of just having it break out. Simply none of that occurred to them. They came up with hackneyed, stupid, misinformed bullshit because they couldn't be bothered to do better.
If a regular zoo is allowing patrons to ride a raft through their hippopotamus and crocodile exhibit, leave immediately. If they’re doing so with a dinosaur exhibit, don’t go in the first place.
when owen and claire kiss as people are being eaten by dinos at the park, i was half-expecting a t-rex to just swoop in and devour them mid-smooch.
Jurassic World franchise is literally equivalent to Fast And Furious franchise. It's a lot of shit happening that doesn't make sense, it's silly and CGI garbage overload that makes the fat audience choking on their popcorn while getting erected in the climax.
Who's gwen?
12:39
Not a great plan
I was hoping
@Do0m3rdude1995 that would be hot
"FUCK OFF; THAT'S NOT HOW DNA WORKS, YA DICK."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 love that part!
Some thought the inclusion of two kids in the original Jurassic Park movie was a typical Spielberg move, but in Michael Crichton's original novel, Alan Grant (Sam Neill's character) actually did have Hammond's two grandkids in tow. Spielberg just reversed the respective ages of the boy and the girl.
Dr. Malcolm was my favorite character in the original, because he asked all the intriguing and thought-provoking questions.
I feel like he was a kind of stand-in for the audience members who were like, “Who the f@&$ thought this was a good idea!?”
I also liked the dynamic between him and Grant. They sorta agreed and sorta didnt. One was calm and amazed by the dinos but jnew it was prolly not a good idea. Abd the other knew it was bad immediately. They also complemented each other well
No he didn't. Go back and rewatch the movie. And now, with you aging and getting wiser(hopefully), you will find that they were just common sense questions anyone and everyone should always ask. Maybe as a child you believed those questions were thought-provoking. As an adult who knows better(again, hopefully) you should see those questions as mere common sense.
@@danielduncan6806 his questions were the common sense. However some of his statements were more philosophical. I was just lumping them together for convenience.
His novel counterpart is even better, though admittedly a bit cowardly
The difference between 90’s and today’s blockbusters, is that the audience was respected with good dialogue. Example being Jeff’s bit at the end.
Year after year it feels like Hollywood thinks we get dumber with time. It's an insult and it's impossible to change that since we mostly get shit movies that if we didn't watch we'd have no cinema surviving.
Adrian Diaz let it die then. Let it be reborn like the Phoenix. They’d have no one to blame but themselves.
Well you did have Roland Emmerich out-grossing even Michael Bay at that time. In fact, I thought Jurassic World was like as if Roland Emmerich made Lost World instead of his 98 Godzilla.
*Michael Crichton's
They dumb the dialogue so it can be translated into multiple languages with no issues. Using more complex language and more complex societal scripts will make the movie unmarketable to China.
The Joker kind of proved that more complex scripts can make a lot of money. Hopefully we see a trend.
The creation of the "Super-Rex" just adds weight to the idea that these aren't dinosaurs, but as Alan Grant put it in Jurassic Park 3: "What John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park is create genetically engineered theme park monsters. Nothing more and nothing less."
Been following you for sometime now and I just realised that listening to you is both educative, illuminating and fun. But listening to you while in the clouds, is a whole different experience, it's like a rib cracking reality stand up.
I just feel nothing but apathy now. Not just for this, but for pretty much everything.
Likewise.....
That's depression.
Well, it's always a given that any film or game that come out will ne filled with feminism, social justice and be derivative of previous stories, so I can see why.
Sorry to hear that Rivery Geralt
@@cinderheart2720 You said it before me. That's true.
That Jeff Goldblum rant was epic and it describes 90% of the movies nowadays.
And he also has this thing about slamming his fist on the table. He did exactly the same thing in The Fly (1986) when he was describing the pros of teleportation to Geena Davis.
Yeah. Makes me want to go watch the original again in all its glory.
Jeff has been undercover redpilled for years, he just doesn't know it yet LOL
A lesser actor would have treated that like their big Oscar Moment, but Goldblum handles with his usual lassez-faire aplomb. Nice one, Jeff.
I'm just watching the original on TV and damn how satisfying that rant is now! I mean that whole character and actor playing the role coupling is legendary and Jeff should be praised for it but this scene just nails it
The ending segment of this video, with Dr.Malcom was accurate. Just goes to show how good the writing was, for the original movie/book.
The movie as a whole wasn't painful or tedious to watch one time, which makes it better than many new movies and shows. There were whole scenes where the stupidity was low enough I could overlook it for the sake of not being bored. I saw a thumbnail on RUclips for a top ten movies of (year), and my first thought was disbelief that there would even be 5 worth sitting through.
The problem with Hollywood boils down to one thing: Disdain. Hollywood elites hold disdain for their potential viewers. Every problem stems from that, and it also prevents them from seeing why Hollywood is slowly imploding. Why did this movie fail? Well, it's because those silly _peasants_ were too stupid to see the brilliance of it, to appreciate how _stunning_ and _brave_ it was. This disdain--combined with plenty of arrogance--even prevents them from noticing the contradictions in their claims. Why did was this production so popular? Because it subverted expectations! Why did people not like its ending? Well, because it subverted expectations, and those peasants just can't see how wonderful that is!
Thing is, movies have always _been_ made for profit. How much money did George Lucas make off the selling of Star Wars toys? Yeah, it's a lot. But he made the movies with love and respect, both for the story and for the audience. The new Star Wars movies were made with disdain. The people in charge figured that whatever they crapped out would be good enough, and might as well include those "progressive" themes that it seems more and more of the people working in Hollywood demand they include. And they'll make them obvious enough that they won't be targeted with complaints about not being "progressive" enough.
Well written, and true.
cream will float, but shit will sell
I don't see it as disdain. It's just that the money people, who are the final say, prefer something that is less challenging to the audience. Less challenging means it appeals to a wider audience. The art of film is slowly eroding as the money takes over. More 'splosions! Broad comedy! Farts! And that trains the audience to have less patience for character, and that trains the Money Men to eschew that for broader crap. We truly are in the early stages of Idiocracy.
While I agree with what you write, I see a much bigger problem. A lot of customers just want easily digestible content and dont care about whether the plot or characters decisions make a whole lot of sense. The amount of people around me who liked this movie or thought GoT season 8 wasn't too bad is nauseating. Especially since half of those people are not stupid. They just dont care as long as they are entertained... It is beyond me how this is possible, but we (as in the target audience of the drinker) seem to be a pretty small minority. That being said, this is just my personal experience so I will happily let you convince me otherwise, if things aren't as grim as I experience them...
Well you can't blame yourself if you make a shit movie, that would hamper your career growth. So you blame the audience. You truly fail upwards in hollywood.
That edit of Jeff Goldblum's monologue at the end was brilliant
It is perfect as a self-reference to the JP franchise, but in its original context it was kind of dumb and didn't fit his character. Every technological advance is built on the discoveries before. Elon Musk did it with both rockets and electric cars. Steve Jobs did it with cell phones. Linnus Torvalds did it with software. The speech would still apply, but the guy saying it would sound like a nutcase.
Yep it did fit perfectly the situation with this and other movies being rebooted or continued today.
That quote is just incredible, you can use it for any piece of life, a be more self aware rant that stings a bit.
Totally agree.
@@whitworth5s248 Wrong. The character he was saying it to had hijacked the project and wanted to run to his ultimate goal, the rich man with his god complex. He didn't attain the knowledge he bought it and packaged it as his own. Therefor the speech was correct. Although it would have been better said by Tim Neils character.
I really think “Jurassic World” would’ve worked better as a prequel to Jurassic Park showing how the lab on Isla Sorna got destroyed
"but fortunately, they were in their plot armor" hahahah pure gold :D
Yeah, Corporate Redhead finding Whiney Boys pack in a pile of the Indominatrix's shit would have been a better jumping off point for her arc than that garbage scene where she cries over one of her theme park monster dying
Critical Drinker, you missed the best part of the movie, and the character we all identified the most with. In the midst of an attack by flying dinosaurs that are eating people, he unflinching braves the danger to save his two margaritas. A true hero for our times.
I know you were trying to be clever but I nearly lost brain cells reading that
Are you trying to give someone a stroke lol
@@ModeratelyCool Is it working?
@@ModeratelyCool It was a little wordy:) Still the best part of the movie.
Clearly the man was American, though! Were he from the North of England, he would have been able to run much faster and still not spill a drop! We can do that here, you know! It's one of our many innate abilities along with preternatural cynicism!
The line "dinosaurs are dieing and no one cares!!!" Literally illicted groans from the audience. The ending is easily one of the worst ever.
I swear this channel is way more entertaining than the actual movie. I've already seen this clip but I keep coming back to watch it again and again where as the movie I couldn't even get through half of it
No it's not there's nothing great about this uncoultured channel at all
Adding the entire Jeff Goldblum quote at the end is perfect, and it applies not just to the Jurassic franchise but to almost any modern Hollywood rehashes of things that were done much better in the original. Disney’s Star Wars, the 2016 Ghostbusters remake, the Rings of Power, you name it. In all cases, hacks standing on the shoulders of geniuses to churn out content as fast as they can. Today’s Hollywood is not about telling great stories, it’s about “monetizing the IP” on all this stuff these corporations own.
"Why is any of this nonsense happening?" The first film was based upon Michael Crichton's well-written novel, and Michael Crichton co-wrote the film script. It's the same problem with GOT when they ran out of source material.
Sphere and Andromeda were also quite good!
Weird how another Michael Crichton property, Westworld, befell the same fate.
Well no.
GOT got fucked because the writers of the show wanted to move onto other projects and rushed the last season. They had 3 seasons worth of story to tell and stuffed it into a shitty season 8. They refused to step down and hand over control to any of the many people wanting to step up. They're assholes. It wasn't a matter of source material.
Since it's the same problem with GOT when they ran out of source material, they should've quit while they were ahead....but alas.....MONEY!!
@MizerisMoney Game of Thrones.
"Paleontological prodigy"
Drinker, my ribs hurt now...
Is that because you self-operated and removed your implant or because you laughed so hard? Or both?
😋😂😄 Ow, now my ribs hurt.
Best part of an excellent video!
Initially enjoyed Jurassic Park the 1st in the theater with family when around 12. I have vague & hazy recollections of seeing part 2,or part 3, at some point. None others since. And thanks to the hard work put in by the likes of you and other critical types' videos, I believe I never shall.
"The movies kicks off with a giant dinosaur rampaging through a frozen tundra."
Dammit, Drinker! Now I'm never gonna get out of my head the missed opportunity of making a Jurassic Park movie taking place during the winter!
My favorite part of this whole movie is that when she was running in heels everyone complained it was unrealistic , but it was the most realistic thing in the movie because she trained for months to do that scene
@Jim Johnson I lived in Queens. My ex would have her heels off after only a couple hours of walking around. Any chick with half a brain in the same situation as the film would have snapped the heels off those puppies and turned them into flats.
Legend, went the hard route rather than kicking those bitches off before the door opened
People are so stupid nowadays I can’t tell if your comment is sarcastic or not. 🤷♂️
Realistic would of been her ninja kicking them off, before opening the door; she may have trained herself to be able to run in them, but that's NOT how a real person would have done that scene.
Stop lying, she did not train for months.
“He gets his haircut once a year … in a fucking vending machine.” 💀
This revamped CLASSIC is STILL my favorite of them all. I REALLY LOVED this movie for the same reasons so many Others have, nostalgia for More dinosaurs on the big screen after nearly 15 years AND for the Heart palpitating and EPIC ENDing.
The first JurassicKrap in 1993 was nothing more than an attempt to recapture the thrill of JAWS but with CGI. The original Jaws had people complaining that you could tell it was clearly a rubber shark that looked fake--they made fun of that in a scene from BTTF2. It was nothing to write home about, but it looks like Casablanca compared to its tedious sequels.
Ok, so the indominus is that giant beast in a secured cage, with heat signature cameras and a locating chip. How do we get it out from there??
Writer 1: - What if it could disappear...
Writer 2: - It would still be visible with the heat signature.
Writer 1: -Yeah but what if it could make its temperature disappear too?
Writer 2: - How the hell would it do that.
Writer 1: - You know, genetic science and stuff.
Writer 2: - It would still be in the cage though!
Writer 1: - Yeah, but the staff would think it's gone.
Writer 2: - No they wouldn't, they have the tracking device telling them it is still in there.
Writer 1: - Oh right... What if they just forget about it for a moment?
Writer 2: - So they think it's gone, but who cares? It is still in there, it can't start eating people as we want it to.
Writer 1: - They think it's gone, so what do they do?
Writer 2: - They look at the tracking device?
Writer 1: - No, they still forget about that. So they look for the creature, and they go in the cage!
Writer 2: - But they think it is out of the cage. It is the only place where they think it is not!
Writer 1: - Sill, they go in just to check things up and stuff.
Writer 2: - Ok, they go in through the human-sized service door, so the indominus still can't escape.
Writer 1: - Yeah, but they go check the big door.
Writer 2. - And the indominus doesn't eat them, now that they are in the middle of the cage?
Writer 1: - No, the indominus has it all planned!
Writer 2: - It knows that by turning invisible to the cameras and the heat scanners, the human will forget about the tracking device, and they will decide to go check the big front door? How does it know all that?
Writer 1: - You know, genetic science and stuff. And let say it scratched the door so they want to see the scratches.
Writer 2: - Ok, what then.
Writer 1: - They suddenly remember about the tracking device, they realize they are in danger and they want out!
Writer 2: - Well, they just go out by the small door and the indominus can't do shit about it!
Writer 1: - What if the indominus was hiding just next to the small door, and suddenly reveals itself?!
Writer 2: - And there are no other small doors anywhere?
Writer 1: - No, just one small door for the enormous cage!
Writer 2: - Well I guess they try the big door then, but the staff should never open the door. If they have to choose between three guys and all the public, shouldn't they choose the public?
Writer 1: - What if there is a manual command for the door inside the cage next to the door?
Writer 2: - And the Ignominus never figured that out, since it is so smart and all?
Writer 1: - No, it never thought about it.
Writer 2: - Ok, let's assume it never did. Then what.
Writer 1: - Well, then the fat unheroic dumb guard opens the big door, and voila!
Writer 2: - Why don't they open just a bit, so that the bigger than a T-Rex creature can't squeeze through?
Writer 1: - Well, they try, but they mess it up somehow and Voila!
Writer 2: - ... Genius!!!
God I hope the writers of this movie read your comment.
Brilliant!
Producer: wow wow wow...wow
You got everything except "super easy, barely an inconvenience".
I think you are underestimating producer input - that sounds more like a bad producer sticking their oar in than anything else.
Jurassic Park has the best lesson JW needed to learn: "You were too busy asking yourself if we could, you never stopped to ask if you should?!"
underrated comment
The Jeff Goldblum ending is perhaps the most brilliant wrap-up of any of your videos. Wish I'd thought of it. Use the franchise against itself. Awesome.
Just found you and this channel......THANKS for all the absolute laughter and bringing what we know is true about all the shit movies we watch trying to get to high-minded action and Sy-Fy, but never quite reaching what we have sought.
Essentially, these are B movies with 200 million dollar budgets.
Essentially, the movie watching viewer has become so stupid and requires such safe, asinine plots that they DEMAND substandard product with each money unit they still spend on crap movies.
Face facts, bro.
Junk Science it’s all about chyna, init. Hollywood is relying more and more on the Chinese markets to make profits on movies. That means films are being written with China in mind.
@Big Al I don't know. I haven't asked any.
I watched the sequel even though I didn't enjoy this one. But I Have a thing for cheap low budget stuff as I like a bit of daftness. But the went all in on the most stupid basic story for the sequel ever. Let's go the island catch the dinosaurs and have a Dr evil style auction selling them to the bad guys. Terrible plot made worse by the fact they were selling them for like 10 million dollars. I know that's a lot of money but it isn't for that level of crime and how many people and how much effort and cost it must of took to get them, and to make it worse they wrote that plot and then filmed it like it was something original.
@@junkscience6397 I wouldn't say the average viewer demands it to be dumbed down. It's the execs and business model of "lowest common denominator". Michael Bay proved it worked to rake in the dough, so why spend time on creating a masterpiece when you know it won't get you that dollar?
Look at the LotR trilogy, flaws and all, and you'll see a love letter to the source material and fans. They prioritized world building and pleasing the established base over making money. Now look at the Hobbit trilogy to see the opposite, a cash grab that still made money because people desperately spend money wanting things to be good. (It doesn't help if you want to discuss it and enjoy the culture it's pay to play on a time limit of relevance.)
Most people loved A:TLA because it's a masterpiece. How much time and effort went into making that cartoon, and because of that it'll live forever. LoK not so much because execs limited and messed with them. Those same A:TLA fans watch other shows and movies, not expecting them all to be as classic or thought provoking, and execs know that. The business model dumbs it down because they 1) it's easier and cheaper and quicker and 2) people will consume it anyway. Their goal isn't to make a timeless pinaccle, if it were you bet the writing would be top notch and actual care would be taken. But why would they bother putting in effort when their goal is to make money and not art?
My hatred for sand is greater than any jedi before me
Dude just chill out plz
"Thats not gritty midichlorians in my ass Master Obiwan."
Cue soundtrack: ...bow-chic-bow wow
I suggest getting a dog.
@@JohnWick-vh2qy i will think about it
Twice the hate double the kill count
I know its been a while since you made video, but Dr. Wu died in the first book. I was curious as to how we was in this movie. Your videos are awesome.
Highpoint: "so that means... 🤬 Off! That's not how DNA works!" 🤣
Critical Drinker Drinking Game
Take a shot every time The Drinker:
Says “Nah, It’ll be fine”
References Tatiana
Says “No, it won’t be fine”
Talks about Jack Daniels
Or laughs in the pure & holy way he laughs
I did, and now I’m typing this one handed
Go away now
Smash Pictures Hell yeah
Also, take a shot when a image with the howie scream pops up on the screen.
taking a drink anyway
I feel like
‘Nah, it’ll be fine.’ Would get me hammered enough.
As a motorcycle rider, i cringed superhard that dude was riding at night in a jungle without having any idea of the path ahead-specifically any fallen branch wouldve ended the sequence with him flying into a tree 🤷🏽♂️
what are you talking about? he had plot-armour on
When I first clicked the video I was interested that there was a new Jurassic park movie, then after you started showing scenes I remembered watching it. I hope that helps put into perspective just how interesting this movie was.
That quote at the end was absolutely amazing. Sometimes I feel that the Drinker does better directing in his videos than the actual directors do.
"A laser raptor, I thought those went extinct a thousand years ago!"🤣🤣
They went extinct right after the sharks with lasers on their heads died off. About 1968.
@@jasonswiatkowski9127 I didn't know dat I need 2 brush up on my biology
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
Isn't there a type of whale that emits a "laser" from it's head???
Yes but its nearly extinct and forced to retire to hidden parts of the world, to save it, we must combine our powers and save the planet
"A Fucking ALIENNNNN" im over here wheezing with tears in my eyes.
ikr gets me every time
Yeah that made me laugh out loud at work haha
I tried to explain all this to a friend after going to see it with him in theaters and he just didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. He even seemed to hint he preferred This film. I’ve realized since that the majority of movie goers (or at least a lot of them) these days only see movies for the flashy action entertainment vice to see a film with a meaningful and original plot line. And Hollywood is selling what’s in demand…