We created the sport of the future | Unraveled
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- Опубликовано: 8 май 2024
- With 2020's shutdown of sports, Brian David Gilbert and Secret Base's Kofie Yeboah teamed up to corner the market with a perfect blend of sports and esports. Welcome to the future. Welcome to Surferball.
Check out Kofie's work at Secret Base: • We destroyed the NBA's...
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First: Yes, we're sorry it wasn't blaseball. Second: DID YOU KNOW that we just got a HAYSEED shirt in our merch store? store.dftba.com/collections/polygon/products/hayseed-shirt
It's okay, we still love you guys anyway. Go Splorts!
doesnt have to be blaseball for me to get hyped about polygon & SB in one video! though.... if there IS blaseball in the works.... :eyes:
The siesta has gone on too long, I'm hankering for some blaseball content
This is still a splort in the greater blaseball universe in my book
Plolygon would not have made this blunder.
Be honest, this was just an excuse for Jenna and Josh to make fun of Brian.
"baby baby chicken legs"
will neither confirm nor deny
Would watch Jenna and Josh comment everything. Did not know I needed.
And here I thought it was just an excuse to create a sport called PISS
@@Ravenlock Jenna is fantastic in both modes
"If I wanted to create a sport specifically to run ads, I would have invented football" is a stone-cold jab and i respect it so much
Football players might _pretend_ to be injured, but after that the sport is truly hurt itself.
Football as in what americans call football, or what the rest of the world call football?
@@i.cs.zamodits I assume American football because, at the end, he mentions his 'soccer skills' (unless they use both football and soccer to describe the non-American kind)
@@i.cs.zamodits football as in what americans call football, half the reason ppl watch the superbowl is to see the commercials
It... it isn't wrong
"Sports, had to go away for a while in order to keep us healthy, like the McRib"
"Solitaire, like recreational malware"
You make it look so easy
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
@@Silverwind87 *D o n ' t P a n i c*
“If I wanted to make a sport specifically to run ads, I would have invented football”
I want esports with commentary as absurd and detached from reality as cricket.
How bad is it for cricket?
@@The_Bird_Bird_Harder Makes complete sense if you understand the sport, doesn't make any if you don't. Like all other sports.
@@YtseJammed I see.
@Ytse Jam I’d argue the commentary doesn’t make sense whether you understand cricket or not. The commentators are simply insane.
To be fair, cricket is a game that, while fun enough to play, is incredibly dull to watch, as it mostly consists of people standing around
Starting off strong with BDG declaring himself Polygon's resident jock.
Honestly, can any of us argue this point?
@@saxmaverick He specced into KICKS
i mean at least he can jump high? but i really thought pat was the resident jock
@@archivingjsstreams3454 maybe they should host an after hours streaming show, maybe where they can play games in this manner, perhaps with challenges and reader suggestions.
Please
Let's pretend BDG is NOT Polygon's resident prep boy
“They’re called Eh sports”
"'Eh'. What... genre is 'eh'?"
äsports
Eh.... Sports🤷♂️
Ask me what my favorite sports is, I'm like, "eh"
æsports
i dont know why Brian saying "epic pog moment" is giving me such a crisis but it is"
Brian saying "pog" in general is a power to great to gift to humanity for clipping, but here we are. Time to make use of that power.
he seemed in physical pain to say it, to be fair
Same energy as a news reporter describing a viral video.
He said that at the exact moment I read this.
Are we not going to question that Brian "Equinophobia" David Gilbert pitched "Rocket Equestrian" to Blizzard?
he did with the goal of destroying the horses
It was actually a horror game.
The horses were the ball
it’s rocket equestrian because you drive rocket powered cars into horses and people riding the horses
@@nate_storm as you should
Other episodes: Brian is a theater kid
This episode: Brian is a jock
Conclusion: Brian is Troy from High School Musical.
"Unraveled: WHAT TEAM?"
@@PantaroParatroopa Wildcats!
Or Troy from Community.
@@bismuthcrystal9658 I was thinking the same thing
@@introvertedcosplayer GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME
Everytime Brian says he's created something, I'm worried he's just made Ska again.
A constant fear
This is a rational fear in an irrational world.
... you might be on to something here. during the match a lot of the balls ended up off the field, which meant that the players spent a lot of time having to pickitup pickitup pickitup pickitup
& why exactly is that a problem?
7 minutes in and I'm worried it'll be wii sports bowling
I worked at a martial arts supply company for awhile. The intersection of nerds and jocks is the martial arts.
wait you’re right
Cobra Kai is a documentary.
@@ilznidiotic Y'know I've made ads for Cobra Kai but I've never watched it. Maybe I should.
@@jazzpear8877 Seasons 1&2 are must-watch, but if you have things you're doing with your life, 3 is optional.
Can't argue
"For those of us who have followed Brian's career for a long time now, this kind of behaviour shouldn't be a surprise. He's a scoundrel, and he's a bad boy"
😂😈😂
And he earned that reputation by doing nefarious deeds
Alternate title: Uninterrupted bullying towards polygon's resident jock with a 10 minute introduction
"Those tiny baby chicken legs" had me rolling
I was so sure this was just going to end with Brian realizing the perfect mix of sports and esports has already been discovered and it’s Wii Bowling
I hadn't considered that. You're so right.
No, the true pinnacle is wii sports golf speedruns
You’re so right
my guess was fantasy football bridging the nerd-jock culture canyon
Someone let Brian know he fucked up lmaoooo
Personally fencing X minesweeper would be pretty good.
Speedily stabbing ballons with a sabre except if you get it wrong, you explode.
but it’s also a race against another person with their own...fencesweeper? minefencer? board
BDG's still got his "don't talk to me before i've had my gaming" setup thank god
unravel me, bdg
Speedrunning to get unraveled by Polygon's BDG (SPEEDRUN EXPLAINED - World Record)
UwU
I LOVE TOU TOMATOANUS
two great tastes that taste great together
Polygon (the g is silent)
jenna calls brian a himbo once and this is what happens. he’s ascended to new echelons of power
jenna out here calling bdg a himbo, calling his legs “baby, baby chicken legs”
Reminds me of chessboxing
Chessboxing should be in the Olympics
Hes a scoundrel
A badboy
Brian is too intelligent to be a himbo.
“Smells like freshly baked cookies in here because Brian is an open house” has to be the most wholesome fucking burn on the net
I like to think there was no script for the commentary, they just gave Josh and Jenna a bunch of raw footage and said "Do what your heart tells you"
Winning the Polygon Invitational SurfBall Series is colloquially known as Taking the PISS.
Underrated comment
bdg and jocks dont mix
EDIT: bdg saying "epic pog moments" with a straight face + ted talk accent obliterated me
the phrase "ted talk accent" is going to be stuck in my mind for days on end hope you know that
ted talk accent?????
sen doesn't rhyme with the sin in absinthe
we all say pog now
@@polygon everybody's poggers here : )
i admire brian and kofie’s efforts to create the sport of the future™ when an upgraded laser tag would’ve fit the requirements just as well
I thought the sport of the future was darts
I've been spending all of quarantine getting good at them
It's time to get good at the darts
There needs to be competition to discourage monopolies. In this way, darts will find themselves on top soon enough.
Same here yeah
Three years later and yes, somehow darts actually has become the sports of the future
bdg: safety fan and bureaucratic wunderkind, as well as polygons resident jock
And himbo. He's accumulated a lot of honorifics over the years.
That seems impossible because sports are very dangerous
@@cwovictor3281 I've also heard that he's a "scoundrel" and "Nefarious"
and physical embodyment of waluigi
Please address him as such
“As Polygon’s resident jock-“
Says the notorious ‘Polygon twink.’
I mean, it’s true
sOMEONE ELSE SAID IT Y E S
He got called a twink ONCE and he decided "no!"
Twunk
he's clearly a bottom too
"Infinity War is the most ambitious crossover event in history."
BDG & Kofie: Hold up fam
I mean, in actuality it's still Smash Bros, but this meme format is appreciated all the same.
BDG, please never say “gaping, sweaty hole” again.
the future of sports is darts. it's time to get good at the darts
It's time to get good at darts
We need less pubs not more excuses to go to them
@@Stephen-Fox r/wooosh
the chancellor of darts has now made their decree
that everyone on this earth has dart proficiency
Sometimes if people love darts, they stand up. They stand up if they love the so-called 'the darts'.
Rule suggestion:
There has to be a center "ball circle" that the players have to step out of in order to throw a ball. Kofie has been camping the middle too much, so Brian rarely had time to grab a ball upon respawning.
Edit: Also, for the rare case of a draw happening, the game has to be decided by a subway-surfer sudden death
I think that a team variant could be created where you have "throwers" outside the pitch and "surfers" inside. Surfers need to avoid being hit whole throwers attempt to hit the opposing surfer.
@@Futuristic271 Are the throwers not playing Subways Surfers tho? I think, this would take away of the games purpose i think.
However, i agree that the game should somehow be playable as a team sport, since team sports are the most widely loved and played sports generally
I think quite simply you can only throw the balls on your side of the pitch. Kofie camped the middle and Brian couldn't do anything because of the volley rule, if there were limited balls per team then it becomes a waiting game
Yeah, I think he overlooked that rule of dodgeball lol, although in dodgeball isn't it usually a line across the field, rather than a circle?
@@lucas_oreki5287 no the throwers are playing basket toss, for synergy. They need to get a basket to throw the ball
The losing team arguing about the rules in the end? Yep, this is a sport
Yesterday, a friend of mine casually said "my favorite sport is Cooper's hill Cheese rolling". I thought I'd mention that.
The fact that this is a real thing leaves me both confused and proud of humans.
I love the idea of being able to switch to golf-style commentary whenever you want, and I would also love it if golf could have an option to switch to screaming commentary whenever you want.
@Ruby Gee search for "if soccer and gold switched commentary"
I feel like every Unraveled is an exercise in how much money Brian can extort from Polygon to buy crap. For some reason it's always zero?
0:15
I believe you have "jock" and "twink" mixed up.
jonk
@@apexkonchu2234 twock
twunk. the mixture is twunk
@@s.osullivan1193 and spindles and dindles and rolls?
@@s.osullivan1193 No, that is the mixture between twink and hunk.
Me, barely even 5 minutes into this video: it’s DnD. The answer is DnD
Sorry he said theater kids weren't part of this venn diagram
@@plutototoh Gottem
LARPing, truly the unity between jocks and gamers.
How??????? How’s that either????
@@gothicanimeangel96 because DnD is everything
"As polygon's resident jock" dealt negative five psychic damage
I think every one of Brian’s videos deal at least 5d12 psychic damage
So it gave you +5 psychic armor?
Kofie's "see it through to the end" and Brian's "i almost released an hour long video about the 600 unique enemies you fight in the castlevania games" is just a match made in heaven, highlighted by "there are 8000 indigenous sports and sporting games" "oh my god"
Fun fact! While sports were gone, my mom's bosses (sports store owners) livestreamed a NHL hockey videogame and got actual sports announcers to narrate the gameplay. It filled the void left by real sports for jocks and actually made it on local news. It was neat
"Replay this to your children, your children's children, and your forefathers" 😂
I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to have witnessed a Weedsnipe
I will tell my grandchildren of this moment, I know it
BDG looks like the bully in a Disney sitcom
This is the highest of compliments I can give
question man, take me by the quand
disney sitcom bullies never painted their nails tho
He dose tho
When they cut back to show Brian's feelings and he was laying on the ground I felt that
When the match started, the commentary felt so sports-like that my eyes glazed over by reflex.
"Two professional athletes winded by this mild amount of activity, most of it in their thumbs."
I died XD
Big mood
"Two professional athletes winded by this mild amount of activity" yeah sounds about right
I found this just as they were saying it and it's just great
It the masks, hard as hell to breath in them
@@Meepswonder there's also the fact that they've probably been mostly inside for like 10 months like the rest of us
@@Meepswonder Not denying that it's uncomfortable to breathe in a face mask, but it's largely a psychological effect. Normal breathing in a mask actually replenishes oxygen and vents CO2 just as well as without a mask, but apparently wearing a mask tends to make people breathe weird just from the discomfort.
@@OlleLindestad Yeah I know, to me its partly stress of wearing one and I get short of breath even without one.
My favorite moment in all Esports is still that iconic clip of the Asian announcer just screaming “PENTAKILL!!!!” Over and over again. Didn’t understand wtf he was talking about but his tone and the way he said it just fills me with excitement
This feels like when your two friend groups meet and only feed into eachothers insanity.
I feel like Brian is only 1 purchase away at any given time from being fired
no he's too valuable
They can't fire him, Polygon is the only collection of people who know how to contain BDG's power
He's literally the only reason I come to this channel after Griffin and Justin left. No offense to the rest of the polygon staff
@@coffin7904 really?? That’s so strange to me lol because I much prefer the video essays that the others put out. Cool that it’s different!
@@FebruaryGhost I originally started with just Brian, but after watching all of Overboard in a day (minus the Cyberpunk campaign) I am loving pretty much everyone's content. He is a gateway drug and must be stopped before we are all addicted.
"Make a shit ton of money" BDG just trying to cash in so he can, one day, retire.
But he's already making $20k every month by working from home and being his own boss, isn't that enough?
@@nathfrancois5507 AND from helping people achieve their, like he has done himself, hugh-brandity!
Doing what Mario could never do
wow this aged...well...
@@unitymask I really hope so
It’s an incredible game, nearly perfectly put together, but I just don’t think anything will ever surpass Minion Rush in the hearts of the world. I just bought a 12th device just so I could download Minion Rush once again
“the gaping, sweaty hole left by traditional sports”
- finally, some bottom representation in media
No
Yes, finally
finally
@@lx9768 lol at last
Oop
*sees his nail polish matches his jacket almost perfectly*
"Art major goes brrr"
One is blue and one is purple... 🤔
@@Voxelize no shut up it's perfect
*nods sagely* thats just how jocks do
Um actually he majored in writing
@@Aydrenn i know, it's me, the art major, that goes brrr
"three balls on his side and one in his heart" what does that MEAN, JENNA
Jenna is foreshadowing the eventual heart attack caused by a clot in the heart from the uncharacteristic exertion knocking something loose
@@carebear3120 And it’s gonna happen on May 6th, 2030.
Can we get all the Pokémon gyms ranked on how good of a workout you could get
no
As a theater kid who loves sports and recently got into esports, the true answer to this question is jugger, the greatest sport you've never heard of.
Jenna: "Smells like freshly baked cookies in here because Brian is an open house." Jesus, when I use that on my dad I might kill him. Can't wait!
I somehow read this comment the second Jenna said it in the video. Legit read the quote along with her.
@@BrixAlive so did I...
Gold_Appl3 😳
I admire that they cast Jenna- inarguably the closest thing Polygon has to a Jock- as a commentator instead of a player.
When he said he was gonna merge sports and esports I legit thought he was just going to accidentally invent LARPing.
And then I thought, maybe it will be something that combines the virtual with the physical, like Virtual Reality, or Augmented Reality, or Laser Tag.
Never did I expect "Dodgeball whilst playing a mobile game".
Truly DGR has mastered the art of being unpredictable.
I immediately thought the wii
as a Jock tm who has both watched and played many a sports, this was a DELIGHTFUL way to be introduced to golf commentary
I feel like he's just trying to re-invent chess-boxing
Which is the best sport, so he would have done well.
Excuse you? What is chess boxing, and why does it sound like the raddest thing ever?
@@aaronlewis1803 chess boxing, and it is
@@aaronlewis1803 its playing chess between rounds of boxing. that's literally it. you can win by either KO or checkmate.
@@kyrisgaming That sounds absolutely amazing.
Sorry brian, I can't imagine anyone at polygon being a jock except for Jenna. I will not be taking questions.
Agreed!
Why?
@@Shalakor not cool bro, he said he won’t be taking questions
...When? What? Who? ;P
I respect your opinion and, therefore, won't be making questions.
The words "gaping sweaty hole" aren't words I was hoping to hear today. Thanks BDG. 10/10.
“...back in 2003, so this is, you know, way out of date.” As someone born in 2003, this hurts me
The fact that you were born in 2003 and can comment on the grown-up internet hurts the rest of us ;_;
@@GadBoDag Stfu oldhead
bro you're 17 shut up jesus christ
gen z kids really out here pretending they're getting old
I started high school in 2003 but okay.
@@ActiumFilms They've been bombarded with awful world news for most of their childhood, so it's no surprise they've had to grow up fast and feel old now. I feel like we should cut em some slack.
the demanding physical requirements of mini golf are the reason it isn’t an olympic sport yet
It used to be in the X-Games but it was removed for being too extreme.
Until mini-golf can curb the excessive player fatalities suffered annually by the highest level of competitors in the sport, it cannot be in good conscience included in the Olympics.
Not to mention the emotional toll it takes
Don’t get me started on its complex history with politics.
I've always found the teeny-tiny equipment they used to be the smallest reason for it not being in the Olympics.
"First of all, I want more mascots," is the most relatable thing I've ever heard.
Do you want more Grittys?!
@@TheDancerMacabre yes, obviously
*yells from the bleachers* FURRY!
I've been catching up with the Unraveleds I missed out on last year and it's been a really good thing to have on in the background while I play all my copies of Minion Rush.
“Epic pog moment”
-Brian David Gilbert
-my yearbook quote
Is the person who rules on penalties etc called the P.I.S.S. Constable?
If so, I hope Pat gets the job then
Penalty Institution of Superball Sports
No, that would be the P.I.S.S. Boy.
"Recreational malware" as a statement will forever live rent free in my mind from now on
Like some kind of linguistic malware?
Jenna is actually amazing at commentary. It's actually really hard to do!
He predicted subway surfers+average content. Years before TikTok. He’s truly a god above us
Hearing Brian say “epic pog moment” gave me life
It was really poggers
"The rules must've been wrong, because I lost."
Sounds about right
Sums up the 2020 U.S. election
Very presidential.
Mr. President did you lose the election
No but actually yes.
Jenna and Josh did SO WELL as commentators for this, they were so funny and really helped the whole video. Kudos for them.
Kofie in those last moments juggling the dodgeballs, adorable omg
“We instead choose solitaire”
Me, actively playing solitaire in another window: 👁👄👁
Hehehe recreational malware goes *card sounds*
I have no idea how to play solitaire, but I sure do own five copies of it
I love the idea of two dudes making a brand new sport, and one of them having a bad boy cheater reputation in literally the first game
"Sports had to go away for a while in order to keep us healthy, kind of like the McRib."
YOU WILLED THE MCRIB BACK, BRIAN. IT'S BACK NOW AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.
"as polygon's resident jock" i spat out my water
"as he fertilizes the ground" I need more Sports Commentary like this
The commentary was fucking excellent.
Why do I believe that BDG is, in fact, the biggest jock at Polygon.
I guess its not a very high bar
I heard Pat is into boxing though... and Pat is considerably taller than Brian... I know for most people, this wouldn't be enough to qualify as a "jock", but compared to the rest of polygon?
@@baguettegott3409 have you SEEN patrick gill with your own eyes? Not a Jock
Equestrianism is an Olympic sport, therefore the true biggest jock at Polygon is clearly Simone
@@baguettegott3409 STFU HOW DARE YOU BRIAN IS CLEARLY IN PEAK PHYSIQUE HE CAN KNOCK PAT OUT FASTER THSN YOU CAN RAP THE POKÉMON RAP
I actually really like the idea that you could switch in between 2 different types of announcers. Sometimes you wanna watch something but don't want all that hype
Was anyone else just sit in here thinking, "Yall know VR exist right?"
low barrier of entry is one of their requirements.
Having a decent vr setup requires Money and Space.
“The gaping, sweaty hole left by sports”
A very interesting choice of words by our lord and savior bdg
Ah yes I have viewed such a...documentary before...
BDG is the kind of person to go to the “sport place” to play the “sport ball game” irl
Heck yeah he is
100th like
nah i think he's actually a pretty capable comedian
How do you do my fellow meatheads
The end result of all that research was actually amazing
I have to admit that the game was really entertaining to watch! I ended up cheering and it really caught my attention! This is not a joke, I would legit watch more!
"Three balls on his side and one in his heart." This is solid gold commentary.
"Those tiny chicken bones he calls feet." Oh my god, I love Jenna for this. LOL!
Congrats, Kofie! You both played an excellent game. A well deserved win!
The next question is how to make the sport accessible. For those with indestructible Nokia flip phones and for disabled people.
I've never been so invested in a sport in my entire life.
There really should be a "BDG | Unraveled" where all the other members of Polygon try to understand Brian's true nature
That's the series finale
i love that so much
Chaotic fabulous
Jenna: To dissect the true nature of this jumpy man we must begin with investigating his family members
Simone slamming her fist on the table: The only place to start is with his original RUclips channel, if we trace the original viral videos we must find answers!
Pat, smoking in a dark corner: There is one place we haven't considered yet, one possibility we hadn't dared to even think of
Jenna: No...
Simone: You couldn't mean?
Pat: Yes, the only person who has ever not only harmed Brian, but defeated him... Kevin Punt!
It’s like learning the true name of a god. They are vaporized instantly
“Smells like freshly baked cookies, because Brian is an open house!” This killed me 🤣
1:45 POV: You're trying to defeat the mastermind by examining the hidden room in the library
I see you are a person of culture
but that's kayyaydays lie isnt it
Brian David Gilbert is now two degrees of separation from Jon Bois and I cannot express how happy this makes me
Tbh they have weirdly similar yet different energies to them but they’re both so uniquely weird in what those choose to do yet make you care about it nonetheless
"two professional athletes winded by this *mild* amount of activity, most of it in their thumbs" The commentary really made this tbh
Nobody is talking about how great Josh Rios is in this so I'm going to. Josh is very good in this.
"As he begins to fertilize the field for the next season of surferball" was absolutely my favorite line in this whole video
Josh Rios was VERY good. Made me forget how upset I was when it wasn't Jon Bois.
But now, after 20021, we get to see The Pretty Good story of Surferball.
Brian's gesture towards his mug whilst saying 'the smell of the locker room' suggests, to me, that the mug is filled with sweat.