This honestly came right on time for me. I’m struggling with a lot shadow aspects of myself currently. I’m happy to hear advice from someone who is healing and has healed the same or similar aspects within themselves.
Tarek! I must commend you for using your platform to share your truth. I started doing the work to heal from people pleasing, perfectionism, and hustle culture. Started at 29 and the peace I’m feeling in my life. Boundaries established and I communicate my needs clearly. You’re inspiring many, keep it up!
wow wow wow! I needed to hear this. I've been struggling with the exact same thing post break up and it really takes alot of reflection and honesty with yourself to realize that validation is what we're chasing. But we can find that in brighter places. Loved this episode. ❤
(Finally) I like that you took responsibility and admitted some of your “mental triggers”. This is your platform so your approach towards confronting yourself and shared behaviors can only be digested in segments. It appears that your back on track continuing your journey.
Tarek…this has been the best episode thus far and I love them all! The vulnerability you expressed in this episode was heart opening. Thank you for helping me feel like I am not alone & I am human & that it is okay. I had a similar hyper vigilant experience with online dating apps & depression as well. This episode freed me from feeling so alone with things I struggle with. I love being transparent about things we go through in life. I love when others enjoy transparency as well, even when it feels hard and sticky. But the rawness you express is just everything 💗💗💗
Thank you Tarek! Started listening to your podcast a few weeks ago and you have the perfect comforting voice of a good friend. I think this should rightfully be a favourite episode of yours, the quality is increased time and time again!
.. i love the transparency in this video. depression been kicking my ass off and on this year. definitely made me want to subscribe. the Venus in Scorpio in me was jumping for joy. lol; the dating pool for us is beyond tragic. i’ve come to the conclusion that next year i’ll be doing more traveling than usual. that’s like the only way i feel like i’m going to meet my ideal person.
Hey Tarek, thank you so so so much, you don't know how much this episode has helped me (I am legit in tears). I'm a Kenyan German student at boarding school in Tanzania and I've just been feeling off lately, like in a constant state of exhaustion, sadness and doubt. When you started speaking about your symptoms, I started listing mine as well - and omg I hadn't realised how my behaviours had changed. Noise triggers me, I deleted my Instagram posts that I love so much, I haven't looked in the mirror in ages or rebleached my eyebrows, I don't wake up early anymore like I would typically, today I was looking for red clothes to wear - I hate red. You helped me see this and after sitting with it for a bit, I can take the next step. I'm just worried about the people I'll need to take a step back from for a while, but I'll figure it out.
Wow Tarek, what a beautiful episode. It was so intimate and vulnerable... Thank you for sharing this. As others have mentioned, you have put into words what we may not have been able to articulate before. I am very happy you have reached a point where you can say you are proud of yourself, it takes a lot of work, but you so deserve it!
Thank you so much Tarek for this!!! I've struggled with a lot of what you spoke and articulated so well about...hearing all of this was so healing and such a breathe of fresh air to know that someone like you that I look up to goes through similar situations and feelings! It's helping me do a lot of shadow work and healing within myself and my life. 💯🙏🏾❤️
Definitely needed this one here. I realize I do that thing of trying to be validated through dating apps. I empathize with the inner chile struggle as well.
I think those dating apps were the main ingredients when it came to my depression. I would do the same thing sometimes where I would message a guy with no intent to meet them, but just to see if they would respond. I’m so proud of your journey Tarek! Your the only black gay male I can relate to on this platform.
i literally love listening to you & watching you on YT, i’m so glad that i found you. therapy really does open up doors for you to be better in all aspects & i love that. you are actually one of the reasons why i have been comfortable enough to start therapy. it’s such a great feeling! keep pushing, what’s coming is greater than what’s been🤍
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS EPISODE, for this podcast, and for being so vulnerable with us. I resonate deep with SO much of what you said. You’re amazing and I’m so proud of you. I needed this talk. I feel so inspired and empowered to do the work, live better, and ultimately grow into a healthy person.
Thank you s much Tarek for all of this and being transparent!! Wow it was really eye opening and helpful ❤ this video def inspires me to go forward and be better
Okey, I know you have a lot of comments, and some of them saying the same thing but: This is one of your best episodes!. In such a short time you delivered a great framework to analyze the problem: 1- What things I'm doing that are out of character? (Loved this starting point): Overvigilant in dating apps. Overeating & overdrinking. 2- Why I'm doing these things?: It's not because I want to meet people, and overeating/drinking does not make me feel good, but the opposite. 3- Look for the insight: Oh, it's because I'm craving. I want to feel validated and loved. And this make sense since this started in New York, where I felt unseen (second insight). 4- Verification step: How this relates with my personality and inner child?: Craving for external validation is sometimes a problem for me and the people in the LGBTIQ+ community (as Alan Downs puts its in his classic "Velvet Rage"). 5- How can I solve this problem OR how can I coexist with this issue through positive methods? I'm smart enough to know that my eating disorder/validation craving won't disappear from one day to another, so, I will focus on positive behaviour instead, i.e.: Reading comments for podcast listeners or people I helped // Eating or drinking what I like with healthy limits. 6- Extra step: Have I hurt others in the process? How being a better person helps me to break the cycle? (This is absolutely beautiful, and fully displays your empathy and compassion). As someone who has similar issues like yours, I cannot thank you enough for this video. However, I think this method is also useful for people that might feel depressed for totally different reasons. I don't know if you are going to read this comment, but I hope that one day, this comment is one of the comments that make you feel seen and validated as the smart writer and communicator you are.
Imagine how amazing you’re going to feel once you hand that script over and they have no more notes to add .. that the seeds you planted are bearing fruit! I believe in you Tarek 🤍✨
The part of dumping my emotions on other people, waw! Healing is such a hard process, to go deep into your inner child and heal. This message was really needed for me. If I can’t validate myself, I will keep seeking that validation and doing things that are not alligned with my divine purpose. Thankyou Tarek and keep healing into your beautiful purpose, I love you!❤️
as a black woman, coming to terms with how great medication has been for my mental health is worldchanging. ofc, like many, i've gained soooo much weight on it, however, it has still done wonders for my mental health, my depression, ptsd and anxiety.
Thank you for vulnerability and truth! I resonate with this deeply. I really like the idea of making a list of unhealthy validation vs healthy. I will be adding this to my practice for more awareness, thank you for this offering. 🌻✨
You're always keeping it real. I love you so much. I'm trying so hard lately, hearing your soothing voice feels like a virtual hug. Sending you all the love, dear.💞🫂
Omg Tarek yes! You have put so many things into words that I wasn’t able to articulate. I also like being sick because it’s the only time that I’m truly intentional about taking care of my body and actively resting. Mainly because I have no choice. So glad to know I’m not alone in that. I want to start taking care of my body outside of being sick.
Seeing another black queer man talk about this as I am doing my best to take my time as I’m healing through my own depression while living with a narcissistic father. I appreciate you 🩵🫶🏾 you have helped me for years and I appreciate this as I’m navigating this season of my life
This honestly came right on time for me. I’m struggling with a lot shadow aspects of myself currently. I’m happy to hear advice from someone who is healing and has healed the same or similar aspects within themselves.
Tarek! I must commend you for using your platform to share your truth. I started doing the work to heal from people pleasing, perfectionism, and hustle culture. Started at 29 and the peace I’m feeling in my life. Boundaries established and I communicate my needs clearly. You’re inspiring many, keep it up!
Please never stop yourself from crying.
This video is the for those who are silently not feeling there best 😢🙏🏾❤
Those inner child analogies you use for yourself.. golden. Literally ❤ I’m definitely looking at things from my inner child perspective now.
you’re just so inspiring to me tarek…i’m at a loss for words. you’re an amazing soul. thank you for being true to you 🧡🤎
The craving validation really hit. I’ve realized that I was and still have been doing this! Wow.
wow wow wow! I needed to hear this. I've been struggling with the exact same thing post break up and it really takes alot of reflection and honesty with yourself to realize that validation is what we're chasing. But we can find that in brighter places. Loved this episode. ❤
Thanks for being transparent, I have a hard time being transparent, wish I was as strong as you are!
This was such a good video Tarek. Thank you for being so vulnerable with us ❤️
That intro hit hard.. I can already tell this video is exactly what I need to hear rn ❤
(Finally) I like that you took responsibility and admitted some of your “mental triggers”. This is your platform so your approach towards confronting yourself and shared behaviors can only be digested in segments. It appears that your back on track continuing your journey.
Tarek…this has been the best episode thus far and I love them all! The vulnerability you expressed in this episode was heart opening. Thank you for helping me feel like I am not alone & I am human & that it is okay. I had a similar hyper vigilant experience with online dating apps & depression as well. This episode freed me from feeling so alone with things I struggle with. I love being transparent about things we go through in life. I love when others enjoy transparency as well, even when it feels hard and sticky. But the rawness you express is just everything 💗💗💗
Thank you Tarek! Started listening to your podcast a few weeks ago and you have the perfect comforting voice of a good friend. I think this should rightfully be a favourite episode of yours, the quality is increased time and time again!
.. i love the transparency in this video. depression been kicking my ass off and on this year. definitely made me want to subscribe. the Venus in Scorpio in me was jumping for joy. lol; the dating pool for us is beyond tragic. i’ve come to the conclusion that next year i’ll be doing more traveling than usual. that’s like the only way i feel like i’m going to meet my ideal person.
Hey Tarek, thank you so so so much, you don't know how much this episode has helped me (I am legit in tears). I'm a Kenyan German student at boarding school in Tanzania and I've just been feeling off lately, like in a constant state of exhaustion, sadness and doubt. When you started speaking about your symptoms, I started listing mine as well - and omg I hadn't realised how my behaviours had changed. Noise triggers me, I deleted my Instagram posts that I love so much, I haven't looked in the mirror in ages or rebleached my eyebrows, I don't wake up early anymore like I would typically, today I was looking for red clothes to wear - I hate red. You helped me see this and after sitting with it for a bit, I can take the next step. I'm just worried about the people I'll need to take a step back from for a while, but I'll figure it out.
Wow Tarek, what a beautiful episode. It was so intimate and vulnerable... Thank you for sharing this. As others have mentioned, you have put into words what we may not have been able to articulate before. I am very happy you have reached a point where you can say you are proud of yourself, it takes a lot of work, but you so deserve it!
Tarek I just discovered you and I can't help but go back to all your podcasts. Thankyou:)))
you are such a beautiful soul!!!!!!! love you sm!!!!!!!!!! keep shining.
Thank you so much Tarek for this!!! I've struggled with a lot of what you spoke and articulated so well about...hearing all of this was so healing and such a breathe of fresh air to know that someone like you that I look up to goes through similar situations and feelings! It's helping me do a lot of shadow work and healing within myself and my life. 💯🙏🏾❤️
I'm so happy you made this episode! thank you Tarek!!!
Great episode. Chile bring me on as a guest. Let’s talk! I’m a therapist.
And your photos are gorg. Looking amazing
Thank you Tarek...sending my love to you💖
Thanks Tarek I’m going thru so much and I needed this
Definitely needed this one here. I realize I do that thing of trying to be validated through dating apps. I empathize with the inner chile struggle as well.
This was EVERYTHING I needed to hear!!!❤️
🔥🔥🔥 episode. I deeply resonated with this. You are helping others out there 💜
I think those dating apps were the main ingredients when it came to my depression. I would do the same thing sometimes where I would message a guy with no intent to meet them, but just to see if they would respond. I’m so proud of your journey Tarek! Your the only black gay male I can relate to on this platform.
i was listening to this podcast omw to uni just to realized i’m depressed. this came right on time !
Thank you for opening up with us!! I think trauma bonding era can be a release!
i literally love listening to you & watching you on YT, i’m so glad that i found you. therapy really does open up doors for you to be better in all aspects & i love that. you are actually one of the reasons why i have been comfortable enough to start therapy. it’s such a great feeling! keep pushing, what’s coming is greater than what’s been🤍
Tarek thank you so much for those powerful videos you are an incredible authentic human that I admire ❤
The driver seat reference is so accurate!!
Thank you so much for this episode, I really neeeded to ear theses words
I found you again!! I’m loving this ❤
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS EPISODE, for this podcast, and for being so vulnerable with us. I resonate deep with SO much of what you said. You’re amazing and I’m so proud of you. I needed this talk. I feel so inspired and empowered to do the work, live better, and ultimately grow into a healthy person.
Love you Tarek and appreciate your candor so much! I always wanna give you a hug after watching these 🤍🤍🤍
Tarek.. you don’t even understand what this did for me, oh my gosh. Really sitting here crying.
22:45 a wordddd
Thank you for this
i havent even watched yet but i just wanted to appreciate the look, i love the asymmetry :)
9:00 you've said this perfectly .
Wow! Just wow.this resonates.
Thank you s much Tarek for all of this and being transparent!! Wow it was really eye opening and helpful ❤ this video def inspires me to go forward and be better
I love you Tarek. ❤️ .
tarek thank you sm for this, this resonated deeply for me.
i love u tarek
Okey, I know you have a lot of comments, and some of them saying the same thing but: This is one of your best episodes!.
In such a short time you delivered a great framework to analyze the problem:
1- What things I'm doing that are out of character? (Loved this starting point): Overvigilant in dating apps. Overeating & overdrinking.
2- Why I'm doing these things?: It's not because I want to meet people, and overeating/drinking does not make me feel good, but the opposite.
3- Look for the insight: Oh, it's because I'm craving. I want to feel validated and loved. And this make sense since this started in New York, where I felt unseen (second insight).
4- Verification step: How this relates with my personality and inner child?: Craving for external validation is sometimes a problem for me and the people in the LGBTIQ+ community (as Alan Downs puts its in his classic "Velvet Rage").
5- How can I solve this problem OR how can I coexist with this issue through positive methods? I'm smart enough to know that my eating disorder/validation craving won't disappear from one day to another, so, I will focus on positive behaviour instead, i.e.: Reading comments for podcast listeners or people I helped // Eating or drinking what I like with healthy limits.
6- Extra step: Have I hurt others in the process? How being a better person helps me to break the cycle? (This is absolutely beautiful, and fully displays your empathy and compassion).
As someone who has similar issues like yours, I cannot thank you enough for this video. However, I think this method is also useful for people that might feel depressed for totally different reasons.
I don't know if you are going to read this comment, but I hope that one day, this comment is one of the comments that make you feel seen and validated as the smart writer and communicator you are.
I love ALL of your comments and am so honored to have you tune into my work every single time. I appreciate you so much Asiel. Thankyou so so so much
IM PROUD OF YOU TOO
No cause u snapped in this oneeee 😮❤
can we talk about social anxiety & fear of judgment i am struggling
I resonated with every single thing you said
I am in love with you and your energy
22:48 take your time bby !
LMAOOO YOU SO FUNNY
Wheeeww clicked on this ASAP
right?
Merci tarek❤
I love this
I love you❤
❤
Imagine how amazing you’re going to feel once you hand that script over and they have no more notes to add .. that the seeds you planted are bearing fruit! I believe in you Tarek 🤍✨
Tarek are you a Virgo
5:49
The part of dumping my emotions on other people, waw! Healing is such a hard process, to go deep into your inner child and heal. This message was really needed for me. If I can’t validate myself, I will keep seeking that validation and doing things that are not alligned with my divine purpose. Thankyou Tarek and keep healing into your beautiful purpose, I love you!❤️
as a black woman, coming to terms with how great medication has been for my mental health is worldchanging. ofc, like many, i've gained soooo much weight on it, however, it has still done wonders for my mental health, my depression, ptsd and anxiety.
I am gay right! but i did not know there are so many gay hookup apps.
33:45 i love you so much
thank you tarek ❤
Thank you for vulnerability and truth! I resonate with this deeply. I really like the idea of making a list of unhealthy validation vs healthy. I will be adding this to my practice for more awareness, thank you for this offering. 🌻✨
You're always keeping it real. I love you so much. I'm trying so hard lately, hearing your soothing voice feels like a virtual hug. Sending you all the love, dear.💞🫂
what books do you recommend?
Attached , the body keeps the score, the gifts of imperfection and anything brene brown lol , - just a. Couple
Soo good 💕
Ooooooooo, Tarek this was like sitting in front of a mirror for me. Thank you for sharing. We see eachotha sis 😢
So deep! Thank you
I love this so much! Love this for you! Thanks for sharing xoxo
Thank you sooo much for your transparency, this helped me so much. Can definitely relate to the dating app part😩
I started singing all I once Whitney Houston
I needed this. Thank you for sharing your story babes. :)
PREACH
where can we buy that pink journal?
First guy
Slay uncle🤍
Omg Tarek yes! You have put so many things into words that I wasn’t able to articulate. I also like being sick because it’s the only time that I’m truly intentional about taking care of my body and actively resting. Mainly because I have no choice. So glad to know I’m not alone in that. I want to start taking care of my body outside of being sick.
🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
❤️❤️❤️
loved this video sooo much!
Thank you for making me realize I need to go back to therapy. I keep trying to say I’m okay and I got it, but really I’m just scared.
4:45 lay in the bed GUILT FREE OMGGGGG THANK YOU
ooof this was a word.
I like you better without the blonde hair. You're adorable!
Calm app is pretty good l, nice realistic nature sounds!
I loved this, I really needed this rn. Thank you
12:33 tarek !!!!!
Love this ♥️
I love you boo ❤
Hey be happy, you are paid to complain on RUclips channel....
How many people are in depression without even noticed ?
@Trinity N I mean really, he didn't attention to any of the messages of this videos just talking to talk
Seeing another black queer man talk about this as I am doing my best to take my time as I’m healing through my own depression while living with a narcissistic father. I appreciate you 🩵🫶🏾 you have helped me for years and I appreciate this as I’m navigating this season of my life