I'm a 39 year old mom of 3 boys. My dad told me when I was about 14-15 "Kristine, everyone shuts their pants at least once in their life"....he didn't lie 😂😂
Kristine, when I was like 20. I was on my way to my wells fargo teller job. I farted in my 98 honda prelude. It wasnt a fart. At this point I was FIRMLY humbled in life. I made a U-turn on the bronx river highway by scarsdale and took my ass back to white plains for a full wash. Your dad was right.
It hasn’t gone to my socks yet but I shit myself in my dads lazy boy and because there was a fart behind the shit it was expelled from my body with significant PSI and I felt it hit the back of my knees
I've had a bidet for the last three years and haven't bought toilet paper that long . I laughed at the people desperate for toilet paper during the pandemic . If I stay at a hotel or someone's house I have to get in the shower and clean myself after I do my business if I don't I feel like I'm filthy animal .
Once we were fishing, and a friend had to shit. My friend first sharted himself so he said turn around and took his pants off. Then he squated over the edge and shat in the water. Someone else was napping with his head on the side of the boat by the water so the shit just drifted right pass him. He suddenly woke up and asked wtf was smelling so bad, then looked to the side and saw a massive dump floating by. Safe to say we had a guy shit and a guy throwing up within 2 minutes of each other😭😂
I've shit my pants twice this year. It's February. My pants are the equivalent of 90s kids toy commercials and fruit roll up factory accidents, it's a fkn lawless wasteland.
You can see joe starting to learn from shane when shane continues the convos from matt, and you can see shane laughing little hard at joes jokes to make em feel goood.... shane the boss
It’s just so nice to see Rogan being legit funny as fuck. I feel like mentally he’s had a weird time since covid, and this feels like a moment of mentally healthy Joe. imo u rly can’t blame him for being mentally unhealthy either. Too famous.
@@PAWGmoth i swear, that joke about his butt being open like the border lowkey made me chuckle... im like damn did i just laugh at joes joke? it felt weird lol
@@realbosstakea it felt nice don’t lie!! 🤣 Everyone wants him to be funny!! He’s pretty cool in most ways except his sense of humour is dying :( And I swear he reads the comments. Says he doesn’t but hasn’t released a clip of standup in like 8 years. I still have faith in him post election lol
Man Joe had me dying here shane bring out the best in him lol plus mckusker is a walking permission board lol, is this OK? Matt's answer is always, yes or true lol
Once after a long night of partying with the boys I remember half blacked out I was vomiting gross ass pizza and shitting on the toilet with my pants on. I was so fucking embarrassed 😂 dude's gf at the time saw my gross teenis and screamed 😂 shit was a great night though.
I can just see Joe driving back from filming Fear Factor, white knuckling the steering wheel with his face turning beet-red, vein throbbing from his forehead, and eyes as big as dinner plates screaming, "Don't do this to me!" as he shits his pants explosively -- the Lexus driver seat screaming back, "I can't believe you've betrayed me!"
Yep snow showing and felt it coming on... Started to run in these giant snowshoes and the second I saw the door it let go .. I think it knows when you're close to the bowl...lol I walked in the FRont door and the entire entrance was full of people...I learned to walk backwards fast lol
Most relatable vid lol my best friend shit himself when we were teens out in a field hoeing weeds and he stayed in his shitty pants for 4 hours lmao, we never let forget about it lol
“You son of a bitch” is the most fucking factual response to the accidental slipperoo 😂😂
His underwear became as about affective as the border wall line killed me!!😂😂😂😂😂
I'm a 39 year old mom of 3 boys. My dad told me when I was about 14-15 "Kristine, everyone shuts their pants at least once in their life"....he didn't lie 😂😂
"My underwear was about as effective as our borderwall"😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉
hahaha
@@TheUniverseWorksForUsBeings, someone didn’t you finish building your underwear??
No because the underwear is inherently racist@@3jacksonderek
Kristine, when I was like 20. I was on my way to my wells fargo teller job. I farted in my 98 honda prelude. It wasnt a fart. At this point I was FIRMLY humbled in life. I made a U-turn on the bronx river highway by scarsdale and took my ass back to white plains for a full wash. Your dad was right.
Shanes face of guilt at 6:44 😂😂😂
My dad always swore that once you turn 40 years old, "never trust a fart!"
As a 32 year old…. I stopped trusting farts at 30…
@@marcinlis3700 stopped trusting at 13 here
@@marcinlis3700agreed 😂
Maybe exercising regularly, eating high fibre diet plus drinking lots of water daily will help post 40.
Dude, 40 is not old. If you can't trust a fart at 40 you are seriously out of shape. Hit the gym!
The vein in Joe's temple is my favorite member of the podcast.
Finally the 3 sea shells in Demolition Man makes sense!!!🤣😂🤣😂🤙🏾
I shit my pants at work once and had to go the rest of the day free balling it
Same
I let out a fart in bed while being commando an wet spray shit the bed
I did that before. I had to freeball while dealing blackjack.
Bro you shit your pants and stayed?! Lmfao fuck that if I shit my pants I'm leaving work immediately 😂
@@kaizen916 only a man knows what is like to have to throw away a pair of undies and go back to work 😂
Anyone else made it through life thus far without shitting their pants down to their socks??
It hasn’t gone to my socks yet but I shit myself in my dads lazy boy and because there was a fart behind the shit it was expelled from my body with significant PSI and I felt it hit the back of my knees
@@dwellner502you felt it hit your knees while you were sitting in a lazy boy? That sounds impossible…..
@@drewh9456 what kind of velocities was this man dealing with 😂
@@ekothesilent9456 we call this escape velocity is asstrophysics
So far yeah
Why is toilet humour always funny? We might get older but we still giggle like children at it 😂
Haha. 😂 I’ll never out grow 💩humor!
for any females wondering. this is 90% of male conversations.
I had to pause this video so many times. I was laughing to hard. My face hurts! 10/10
"Pause on the corn cobs" 😂
As a guy who's had MANY incidents, I really appreciated this. I was laughing out loud! Hey man, everybody has been there
Pulled my shorts down and took a dump in the surf in Hawaii body surf backed in looked over and it was riding the wave next to me .
Riding the wave next to you 😂 that dookie was getting pitted
Shane " nothing like a mid day shower"
Joe " I was on my out the door"
Shane " ohhhhh"
He doesn't know how to use the three seashells. 😅
Young Jamie with the subtle demolition man reference! This clip made me cry laughing.
Now I feel a lot better about owning a bidet. It's amazing once you get use to it. Can't imagine not having it now.
So weird every toilet doesn’t have one. Best invention, my life has been way better
Whats a bidet
@@grovestreetryder3609yeah, they trynna keep the secrets away from us
I've had a bidet for the last three years and haven't bought toilet paper that long . I laughed at the people desperate for toilet paper during the pandemic . If I stay at a hotel or someone's house I have to get in the shower and clean myself after I do my business if I don't I feel like I'm filthy animal .
@@grovestreetryder3609 oh honey. You better not learn about bidets now
These guys are a riot! I laughed so hard at this I was crying! Sh!t happens 😆
This kind of laughter is Infectious , I’m laughing so hard I Just SHIT MINE !!!🤣🇺🇸🇺🇸👊🏼👊🏼
I’m crying laughing at this.
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time
“Doo doo in your foam”😂😂😂
Baby wipes are the best invention ever
I can't stop laughing lmao this trio is great
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.....thank you fellas
Jamie saying you don't know about the three seashells was the funniest part of this
"You gotta cut that foam out."
You haven't lived until you sh!t the bed! 🤣
Pissdrunks?
I’ve never shit my pants before and now a new fear is unlocked lol 😂
Here I sit all broken hearted,tried to shit and only farted. Later on I took a chance tried to fart and shit my pants.
I'm hoping and praying that Paulytoon sees this and animates this!! 🤣😂🤣😂🙏🙏🙏🙏
You don’t know pain until traffic has caused you to piss your pants
These three. Best podcasters out there lmao
This has to become a Rogan Animated Clip 💩🙌🚗🚽🏆🤣
You know you have reached that age when you talk with your friends about shitting your pants.
''The underwear was as effective as our border wall''
I'm fuckin dying
Once we were fishing, and a friend had to shit. My friend first sharted himself so he said turn around and took his pants off. Then he squated over the edge and shat in the water. Someone else was napping with his head on the side of the boat by the water so the shit just drifted right pass him. He suddenly woke up and asked wtf was smelling so bad, then looked to the side and saw a massive dump floating by. Safe to say we had a guy shit and a guy throwing up within 2 minutes of each other😭😂
I dropped a trucker log off on the side of the road one time 😊
I’m sitting at the airport waiting for boarding and I was falling over sideways laughing my ass off
I just wish I was watching the bowl with SG right now
Was sittin in the outer worlds when this episode snuck up on me from behind and made me laugh for 8 min straight thanks Jerry
Are you getting that old joe you not even ready when it's coming out LMFAO I guess we're all there 😂😂😂😂😂
“Oh they knew” 😂
The fact joe can admit this to everyone and laugh it off is awesome.
If you've watched the earlier part of this podcast, Joe's callback to the Clydesdale conversation is hilarious
"Unloaded on my SUV seats" 💀
I've shit my pants twice this year. It's February. My pants are the equivalent of 90s kids toy commercials and fruit roll up factory accidents, it's a fkn lawless wasteland.
Jesus Christ.😂😂😂😂
I literally shit my pants the day after this podcast dropped. 😂
You can see joe starting to learn from shane when shane continues the convos from matt, and you can see shane laughing little hard at joes jokes to make em feel goood.... shane the boss
It’s just so nice to see Rogan being legit funny as fuck. I feel like mentally he’s had a weird time since covid, and this feels like a moment of mentally healthy Joe.
imo u rly can’t blame him for being mentally unhealthy either. Too famous.
@@PAWGmoth i swear, that joke about his butt being open like the border lowkey made me chuckle... im like damn did i just laugh at joes joke? it felt weird lol
@@realbosstakea it felt nice don’t lie!! 🤣
Everyone wants him to be funny!! He’s pretty cool in most ways except his sense of humour is dying :( And I swear he reads the comments. Says he doesn’t but hasn’t released a clip of standup in like 8 years.
I still have faith in him post election lol
At the goal line sent me into another dimension
Man Joe had me dying here shane bring out the best in him lol plus mckusker is a walking permission board lol, is this OK? Matt's answer is always, yes or true lol
currently fighting one back as I listen to this 😅😅
🤯That’s what the Sea Shells were for in Demolition Man 😆
7 years old me thinking he would make it from the hockey rink to home hahaha filled my winter suit up in the boots crying all the way home....
6:45 heres my dude wipes endorsement
Jamie with the Demolition Man reference
I should've known better, I had a mouthful of coffee when Joe said he filled his front suv seat with shit 😂
The humility that Joe shows he just said he shit himself on podcast this man has balls that hang s’long😂 love that these 2 bring the stories outta him
Theres always that feeling when there's a chunk o space poopie come out, and its like, damnit, not again.
pause on the corn on the cob 😂
I shit my pants so often I don’t see it as a problem anymore
thank you for this conversation....we have all been there!
3 top tips for any male above 30
1. Never waste a good hard on
2. Never pass up the chance of a piss before a journey.
3. Never Ever push a fart out.
"Leather is good for dumps" -Shane
I love the inserted thumbnail of the Harold and Kumar scene where the two girls are playing Battleshits lmao.
That's Presidential!
I took a dump on my truck’s cab floor once. Apparently, that “Gun barrel” is further back than I thought.
I don’t always drink an entire 12 pack of Mountain Dew pitch black, but when I do I shit my pants.
I shit my pants every time I consider drinking a bud light
I’ve never filled my pants like Joe but every man has sharted at least once. If you say you haven’t, you’re lying 😂
This is gold 😂😂
Now we know how the 3 shells work
Bro sounds like a young version of Jim Norton
My family considers that a thought...I thought I had to fart !... and shit all over myself!!!...
This is why when Matt asked about the jalepeno egg farts. Joe said "whatever". I feel like Joe just lives with crazy farts.
1:24 I never thought of Rogan as a comedian until this.
Rogan has always been a commentator.
“Oh ya that’s good for dumps”
Guiiiiii’lty!😂😂😂😂😂😂
Once after a long night of partying with the boys I remember half blacked out I was vomiting gross ass pizza and shitting on the toilet with my pants on. I was so fucking embarrassed 😂 dude's gf at the time saw my gross teenis and screamed 😂 shit was a great night though.
If that’s your definition of a great night I’d love to hear an example of a bad one 😂
I’ve shit my pants 3-4 times as an adult. 5-6 times since I “knew better”.
Thank God 99% of the time I have clean breaks 2-3 squares and im good..😂😂😂
Modern day philosophers.
I crap my pants about once a year lol 😂 90% of the time it’s a misjudgment on a fart or booze involved
Please make a jre animation of this video 😂😂
I’ve jumped out the car and hit the bushes.
Ah yes, the three sea shells.
I can just see Joe driving back from filming Fear Factor, white knuckling the steering wheel with his face turning beet-red, vein throbbing from his forehead, and eyes as big as dinner plates screaming, "Don't do this to me!" as he shits his pants explosively -- the Lexus driver seat screaming back, "I can't believe you've betrayed me!"
Yep snow showing and felt it coming on... Started to run in these giant snowshoes and the second I saw the door it let go .. I think it knows when you're close to the bowl...lol I walked in the FRont door and the entire entrance was full of people...I learned to walk backwards fast lol
Ok well one time I farted while getting oof the couch like I was a rocket and I dirt biked my pants
Craziest thing is that Demolition Man was right with the 3 sea shells...
Shutting your pants is better than shitting the bed
This is the president we need 😂🫡
Everybody Poops . . . Their pants at least once.
Me and my friends 💀😭
everyone poops their pants atleast twice in a life time
Most relatable vid lol my best friend shit himself when we were teens out in a field hoeing weeds and he stayed in his shitty pants for 4 hours lmao, we never let forget about it lol
To be fair, we all shit our pants for the first few years of life
I've never wanted to shit myself like I did after watching this😅
Lol they know..now😅😂😅😂