Tattoos Over Sexualized? Dating Troubles With Tattoos. 💔💕
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
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Hey everyone! This week I dive head ON into questions all about my experience with dating, and online dating while tattooed. I also touch on sexuality, suicide girls, serotypes, and if I'm more inclined to seek tattooed people while in the dating pool.
If you missed last week's Tattoo Talk Tuesday:
• Friday The 13th Tattoo...
and Five fact friday I answered some tattoo related questions if you're new to that series as well!
• 5 Fact Friday! Blonde?...
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My girlfriend (no tattoos) always tells me that she is attracted to my tattoos. Not in a fetish way, but because she loves the confidence they give me. She loves watching me accept myself by modifying myself
thats..... really cool
I know this is a year old but wanted to say this comment made me smile! My boyfriend loves my tattoos, and we’re long distance so whenever he sees photos of me he will say things like how he loves seeing my arm tattoos poking out of shirt sleeves, and how unique mine are. He makes me feel like I’m both attractive before additional tattoos but also with new ones!
I once had a guy look at my septum ring and ask me where else I was pierced. All while glancing at my chest. I said "My ears".
Steph the Word Wizard I HATE that question. so much.
Steph the Word Wizard my sister wants to get her nipples pierced. i love her but i dont want guys/girls to be gross. i will always support her no matter what though.
Milan Underberg that's a really easy piercing to hide and she should do whatever she wants with her body
I totally understand! When I see a tattoo of say, an underboob/sternum tattoo, I only see the tattoo and pay no attention to the boobs at all. I almost forget they're there - but I understand that is not what everyone sees. Thats a weird thought to me.
Julie Burns This is funny to me bc my boyfriend will come over and be like "why are you always looking at half nudes ladies?" I didn't even know they didn't have pants on, look at that high pieeeeece though!!
Julie Burns same with me lol we see that art not the body parts lol
I'm just the same as u redhead i can appreciate both as a bisexual female but its all interpretation depending on the mind of the person
This is so true! When i had an instagram i followed a lot of tattoo artists, and when they would post pictures where there was a part of a boob, or butt in it, people would always comment on it, like "oh boobs", " those are nice tits", etc. ugh man it would piss me off so much, because these people dont understand that this is a piece of art. An art gallery people dont comment on how big the boobs of a nude portrait are, they appreciate the art. and not everyone knows how to do thag.
I'm the exact same way and I'm a guy that appreciates all gender, so yeah. There's a big difference between someone trying to be sexy and just showing off a tattoo, at least to me there is. Sadly, not all men would agree with me.
It would be interesting in the future if you could have a tattooed man on the show to share his experience about this
I'm here for the mini siren song rant at 10:40
Jovana Fung i fuckin died so funny n so true 😂👌🏼
I was dating this guy who said, "you shouldn't get anymore tattoos or you'll look trashy". 😂😂😂😂 Boy bye!!! I have 12 now and my fiance loves them!!! He thinks it's sexy!
Sami86K when I got my tattoo I sent a photo to my sister and one of the first things she said was "what does [my boyfriend] think of it?" and it caught me off guard because it is my skin and i didnt realize that people thought it should be a couples decision rather than an individual. it prompted me to ask him if he would still be attracted to me when / if i have my sleeves done etc and he was confused because like me he didn't think he should be one to have influence on the way my body looks. I'm so grateful I have a partner who accepts that my body is my own
Completely agree!!!! I get them for myself! I get things that have meaning to me! Although I did talk to my fiance's baby momma about the tattoo I want for their daughter so she wasn't caught off guard.....she thought it was really sweet that I wanted to get one for her! She just appreciates how much I care for her daughter! I'm lucky we have a great relationship! It makes me happy when I show my family members the tattoos I get for them! My dad hates that I have them though! Although he said, at least they look nice lmao!
I hear you! I haven't got the tattoos yet but I asked my sister and my friend if i could get tattoos for their kids because they are so important to me and they appreciated it aswell! I plan on having a tattoo for every person that has had a big impact on my life (with the exception of my s/o) including my fur babies! I'm almost 22 and ive wanted tattoos since I was 13 so it feels so good to finally have started my collection!
I think the people who matter dont mind and the people who mind don't matter! obviously your dad is an exception lol
My fiance and I have matching in a way tattoos. He's paralyzed from a cat accident and I survived a suicide attempt. So we both have semi colons ; with each other's favorite color....we're each other's new beginning. So even if something happens between us we won't regret them!
Don't ever apologize for being talk-heavy! Listening to you talk is so chill and relaxing and always feels like I'm just hanging out with a friend
Willow North agreed!!!!!
Your bit on suicide girls being idealized by men who therefore seek other tattooed women to fulfill this idea reminded me a lot about how some men will seek out women based on what they see in adult films or the sex world industry. I am completely sex-work positive and believe sex workers have empowered me and themselves through their work, but I could definitely see how people could get upset and think they are to blame for the way men perceive women on the day-to-day. I just think it's important to note that suicide girls, and in my loose comparison, sex workers, are not to blame for the sexualization of women. This is a notion created by the sexualizers. I really appreciated you adding that bit, super rad topic that needed to be discussed!
Ava Williams Sexualization isn't something that's usually consensual like it's usually something that effects someone on a daily basis when they aren't trying to be sexy and inconveniences them in life. Like if I wear a low cut shirt and I receive all this unwanted attention or even get in a dangerous situation or interaction with a man because boobs are sexualized. Or young girls get sexualized when they aren't ready for that experience and it can cause trauma. Sexualization is like not owning your sexuality, it's someone else owning it.
I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm native/latinx, tattooed, and a stripper and have definitely profited off of the oversexualization of my ethnicity, job, and physical appearance. So, in a way, I have turned this fetishization around in a way where it benefits me and it's actually the (mostly) men that are being used. I can see how sexualization in a different context, like with young girls or just femme people on the street, could be perceived differently though. Because this is an unwanted sexualization that they would not be able to turn around and use to empower themselves.
If you made a podcast I'd listen the fuck out of it
cryptidspirit yesssss
I'm tattooed, but not heavily, and I feel like people often sexualize tattoos. The thing is, it's often by people who were going to objectify you anyway, so at least you know right up front what kind of people to avoid!
Dudeeeeee I totally feel this on so many levels. My first tattoo was a PI symbol on my hip bone. I got it to symbolize my love for learning, i turned 18 in college and i was finding myself. I got it on my hip because I wanted it to be somewhere that people ordinarily would not see but id be able to see without a mirror. I knew i was changing a lot but I wanted that love for learning to stick with me. Long story short I used pi to symbolize learning. The day after I got it some guy said something to me along the line of "oh id like to eat your pie", and my instant reaction was rage. I was so mad that he made this cute little tattoo I got into something sexual. For a couple months following I walked around feeling like I was an idiot for not noticing it before, thinking that I marked myself as a funny whore forever. Thankfully i got over it and I can joke about it now but It definitely makes me feel weird ever showing it to people or taking a photo cause people jump so fast to sexualize it.
Linnette Martinez I'm sorry you had to go through that :/ I hope you told him off or somebody punched him.
I've got a lot to say about this so bear with me...
I got my first tattoo at 16 - my mom decided to let me do it because I was never in trouble and had amazing grades and she said "If this is the worst you're going to do to your body then who am I to complain?" That summer, AT A CHURCH EVENT, was the first time I had someone sexualize me for said tattoo. The tattoo is on my back and you can see it with certain tops. I was so so so uncomfortable with this situation.
Fast forward to now (I am almost 22). I get sexualized over my tattoos almost every single day. And it still makes me uncomfortable. People will show interest in me just because I have tattoos. Random men will follow me on social media and like the ONE photo I have up of my sternum tattoo that is months old. Only that photo, too. I go out of my way to not show my tattoos in photos anymore because that's how much I get attention JUST for being tattooed. People always think they have a right to see my tattoos, even ones not viewable in normal clothing and it's just downright irritating. Not to mention creepy. People think I'm "edgy" and "exotic" and "a lot of fun" and I'm just over here like "BRO I STAY AT HOME WITH MY CATS 90% OF THE TIME BYE."
Home with the cats? Dude thats so exotic lemme get them digits
In my personal experience as a semi heavily tattooed man I don't really get the over sexual stereo type I usually get the criminal/ uneducated stereo type a lot. I have had times where people will try avoiding contact with me or mothers trying to make there kids walk on the other side of them to shield them away from me I even once well in line had a child ask his mother why I looked the way I do and the mothers response was that I never experienced a mothers love so I didn't know the difference between right or wrong
Bogus Art blows the ignorance of that mother is mind blowing.....
Sometime is not always the tattoo the problem it could be that you have strong facial feature or are you not smiling (even if you cant smile all the time.you know that you look mad all the time with a resting face )That what could give this kind of reaction .There a problem somewhere with you if scare every person that go near you .Do you walk fast and look always down ,that could give the impression that you don't want to be approach ect.
Wow! What an ignorant bitch. That poor child
The difficult part for me is when someone addresses your tattoos like, "hey thats cute, do you have any more" *wink* *wink* and you say something like, none of your business, and the person gets offended. Often they respond with, "then why did you get tattooed if you didn't want people to see/comment?" as if my tattoos has anything to do with others looking at them. It irritates me that your body suddenly becomes a piece for others to comment on and pass judgement, when you do this for yourself. it relates well to what you said about stereotypes we didn't sign up for when we got tattooed.
why do you answer them, just let them talk to a wall when you only hear them say stupid shit ... ;p
i soo get you!! Being a very normal person that overtly is different and being approached by men that fetishise you. The hardest bit for me is I didn't choose to be black (glad i am) but being tattooed is a choice. Not saying you are not as much entitled to living without a stereotype as myself. Its great to see similar situations play out in different forms it kinda just shows how little difference there is between us all.
It's is interesting and frustrating to see the different ways us women get sexuallized or fetishized for having aspects of ourselves that are out of the norm or even completely normal just different from whoever is sexualixing us. I would always notice when I had super platinum blonde hair that I would get cat-called on the streets at least twice as often as when I would have my natural brown color. Or when I would post pictures online and have guys comment about how hot or 'sexy' my septum piercing is, like oh you looked at this picture I got all gussied up in makeup and cute clothes for and you think the piece of metal in my nose is the prettiest thing about it - thanks!
061 This is a great point! Thanks for bringing this topic up
I was thinking about the oversexualization of WOC as well during the whole video tbh.
I really don't think hair colors change something with the cat called thing I never see any difference in my case whatever the colors of my hair there always a man cat calling me .I'm sure that your case too if you are cute and have wierd man around where you live that will happen and on the internet is normally worst...
YES. I get this a lot--once got harassed by a policeman in uniform--basically going like "you're beautiful you must have so much pain cause of those tatoos" blahblah and it was the scariest shit in the world. Ugh. ewoirh;owaiehr;oiehwr But that said, you're right about there being a way to talk about tattoos in a way that acknowledges attraction but doesn't sexualize or oversexualize. Thank you for making this video :)
As a relatively healthy adult male, I must say that the female form has always been a pleasure to view, tattoos or no.
For me, tattoos most certainly increase a woman's sex appeal and not because of any social taboos or inferences, but because I love many forms of art and tattoos are simply the most personal form ever. (yes..I have many of my own...and yes, they gave me more confidence also...)
We all have our secret fantasies, women included, but to some men, tattoos represent some exotic fantasy, much like dating outside of one's own race.
Unfortunately some men never grow up. Those are the cat-callers and trolls whose masculinity is so feeble and fragile that they need to constantly reassure themselves that they are still male. Pitiful, really....
If tattoos have given you more confidence because you like yourself more now with body art, then revel in that and ignore anyone who thinks or tells you otherwise.
As always, what determines true compatibility is what lies inside both our heads and our hearts.
We all want to be understood, and accepted.
Communication is the key.
BTW...I laughed out loud at 23:55...trust me, it happens to guys, too...
I don't fetishize "alt" girls but I sometimes feel like i relate to them a lot more than other girls. I sometimes feel like a 27 year old guy whoes inner child is a 16 year old scene girl. But thats probably something to work out in therapy idk.
I have a lot of people that ask about my piercings and tattoos. I pretty much immediately pull back because usually when men ask they aren't interested in my ears or the ink on wrist. They are interested in whether or not my genitals or nipples are pierced. I'm not here to be your adventures in "devient" before you settle down with the girl you can take home to mom. I am a tattooed, pierced, bi, and polyamorous female with a pierced, motorcycle riding girlfriend. When guys see us they want to fulfill some fantasy of having a threesome and being with "alternative" girls. It drives me crazy. Nevermind that we spend most nights reading books, playing cards, and knitting
polyamorous....ewww
oh fuck off
I think sometimes people who are alternative or different are often sexualized? Like, you'll always find people who are very "normal" or "average" and they view tattoos as wrong or different and those "average" people sort of sexualize it for being different. You know? Idk
yes i agree. but this is definitely a sort of new thing. because the whole "suicide girl" movement came when they did pinup and sexy pictures and video to show people that different is sexy. It was definitely purposeful to make alternative/different people sexualized. that definitely happened in this current generation.
I think it was more of a celebratory thing, "different is beautiful and sexy too" but with that comes negative type of sexualization. but in reality everything is sexualized, and often.
Antonia Martinez Lol when "normal" people come after you bc you have those "bad girl" vibes... or just put you in this box bc they have no other way to relate to you. Ask me what music I'm into, do I like dogs? Idk, why is this form of art always related to my lady parts?
oh she mentions the suicide girls! i didn't even get to that part of the video yet haha
I think some of it can be attributed to the attraction of the 'different' or 'exotic' which is just a human thing that we do anyway, regardless of body mods. For example, if a group of people (office, class, whatever) has five women and they all look similar, for example, straight hair, similar makeup style and clothing style- quite common in an office as there are clothing regulations- if a new employee/student/whatever enters the environment who has curly hair and wears a slightly different style of makeup, and perhaps is a bit different with colouring and so wears differently coloured clothes, she could possibly be seen to be more attractive simply for being different from the other women.
But that said, I definitely agree that we're over- sexualised. I'd be very interested to see what a tattooed man has to say on the topic because I don't know that they're so objectified for their tattoos and mods. It would be interesting to see whether it's just because of the body mods, or if it's simply another facet of the over- sexualisation of women.
it's like new exotism and the problem of the age-old fantasy of the female body perpetuated by western culture. it's not 'natural' or 'human' to exotise but structured in our thinking of the world, because history and more so art history/media ingrained that in our thinking since at least the 19th C.
I’ve noticed that among tattooed people, we look at the art, not the body underneath. But outsiders are different. When I got my thigh tattoo, I was excited to show a male friend who had tattoos. I realized that in public, I was showing off my thigh and he pulled up his shirt to show me his tattoo. Wasn’t sexual AT ALL to us, but we got some weird stares and I quickly realized we may have been inappropriate to people who don’t understand our mentality, ya know? I had to be careful not to expose myself too much when showing my new tattoo to family, and it was an eye opening experience. I’ve always been self conscious so I’ve never had to deal with being too showy- now I’m getting that experience. It’s definitely different.
I once had a man come up to me and try to offer me his drink and when I obviously said no thanks, he was flabbergasted and said "but you're the most adventurous girl here!" I'm assuming he stated this because of my tattoos seeing as how he didn't even know my name. I laughed it off but it made me think about how humans see each other.
qckndboy here. I currently have 3 tattoos and am going to be getting many more in the future. My current girlfriend, who I've know for about 11 years (we're both 21) has none. But I never think of her as less sexy or whatever because of that. Would I like her to get some, yea sure I guess. It wouldn't change anything. She's a little alternative in the way that she always dyes her hair. She's totally cool with my tattoos and loves talking about future ones. Maybe my opinion is a little biased because we've known each other for literally half our lives. But I would say being a cool person and someone that I vibe with makes them sexy. not necessarily tattoos.
Love this topic! I'm not heavily tattooed, although I am working on it. My last boyfriend was fine with tattoos, he claimed, he just didn't like my piercings. I was talking to a co worker about something similar, and I think she brought up a good point. She said she tries to date tattooed men because they are more open to heavily tattooed women. She plans to be covered in tattoos eventually, and so do I. I think about my ex not liking my piercings, he said it was because it seemed unnatural to have metal in your body. Okay, fine, but I was still getting pierced and in the back of my mind I always wondered if I was less attractive to him because of it. I think eventually the more tattoos I got, the more he might think of them like he did with my piercings. We eventually split for a totally different reason but I do think it makes sense that if you plan on being heavily tattooed it would make sense to date other tattooed people because they are more open to the modding. Obviously it doesn't have to be, but it's interesting to think about, imo.
Erika Watson I super agree with this! I've been with my bf a long time and over the years I've gone from having no tattoos to, well, having tattoos and the relationship side of it was very trying. He was ferociously against them at first, but then he realized that just like when I cut my hair, I'm still me at the end of the day. He's come full circle and will even compliment the way they look in different outfits, but he will never in his life get one himself. I'm great with that, he has other hobbies, but I know what you mean when you say it makes you wonder what they think. I always found it interesting too bc he is hugely involved in the heavy metal crowd so body mods are no new thing, but I just don't think he ever put metal and me together in his mind.
Totally agree. There are some people that just aren't brave enough to do it themselves but still can appreciate ours. Lol
Love the siren song.
You're right. What is it that people expect from a tattooed person? There is an expectation of 'danger'. I am a 40 year old Christian mom. And I get tattooed. There is no danger. Why can't people see tattoos as art?
luv this vid girl! ive got catcalled for my vertical labret piercing and tbh it was way gross, and that was by some very average kinda guys. i always get asked sexy questions about my mods by non-alt guys n idk its a weird vibe. i also find it weird coz i get this attention the most when im dressed pretty chill/pretty/non alt. when i go out tryna be sexy and alternative or artsy i get zero attention. idk im a tall girl with piercings n a tattoo and silver hair, so when i wear big heels and not modestly i think it gives a confident vibe that ppl cant fuck with, so i just get ghosted. this is all my experience in clubs btw, where boys only really approach me with some kind of sexual interest. luvd this so much, i laughed a bunch n also sick topic! 🖤🖤🖤
I'm so happy you uploaded. I'm really sad and a new QCKND video helps.
Courtny No 💕
same.
I would have enjoyed doing a back and forth on this topic with you.
Honestly I'm so confident with all my tattoos (I have 9). I can't wait to get more. I love the feeling that I have whenever I get them, I feel so beautiful and one step closer to being complete.
Sunshine Vasquez ❤️
A topic I've honestly been waiting for! 🖤😎
+1 For Yuri on Ice! :)
Rellexia 😎😎😎😎😎🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
"I don't have any tattoos but women with them are sexy" makes me cringe so hard
and why?
According to that logic, a bald guy isn't allowed to think women with long hair are sexy either 🤷🏻♀️
My tattoos make me feel sexier, but I've always been attracted to them also. I like the ballsiness of getting tattood.
This would be a cool topic to discuss further in a podcast maybe. ;)))))
Hex6rcist I need a Qcknd podcast.
yes!! that would be amazing!
I don't think I've shouting YESSSSSS out loud to one of your videos as often as I did here lol. So much truth. I did a thesis in my masters program about body modified people and how they test on self-reported qualities like being adventurous, being impulsive, being risk taking, being "wild" etc. In my humble little study (lol) I found no correlation. I don't fit the tattooed/modified stereotype either. I will never forget working at Michaels arts and crafts store, and my manager saw my large back tattoo once (how I'm not sure... my shirt was not really low in the back lol) and he commented on how I must have a "wild" side as I was often quiet. I was like "Nah, not really" wtf???
i was the one who asked about being fetishised as a tattooed woman in the dating world/whether being heavily tattooed limits you to people who live an alternative lifestyle and i'm really happy about how much detail you went into answering it! thank you for answering my question i really enjoyed watching this video xx
"I'm trying new things and you're not one of them" hahaha XD
I love this topic, I can personally say that I get way more attention when people see my tattoos vs when no one can see them.
I love this so much. the statement you made about someone saying "show me the rest of that tattoo sometime" was so spot on. I've been hit on that way before and it was so off-putting. compliments are so nice and appreciated but when someone blatantly says "ayye let me see you with less clothes on", it's so foul
I love you, Qcknd! never stop being you because you are the best~
catcalling : A FRESH HELLISH NIGHTMARE
hey qcknd, I know its not always a happy thing to think about, but I was wondering what other stereotypes you faceas a tattooed person?
i so relate to the notion of tattoos helping you to feel at home in your own skin. only after getting work done did i really start to feel comfortable with myself
My issue with having piercings, tattoos, and colored hair while dating is that if I date a person for "blank" amount of time they start to say things like "I like you how you are not, don't get more tattoos or colored hair" "I wont like you anymore if you are covered it tattoos" like my body is my canvas and I'm an ever growing piece of art or a unfinished book, you like my chapter but don't want to hear the rest of my story.
Have not one tattoo yet, but, I am so fascinated by the majority of the world of tattoos. I know that I will start one day, all the advice and talks you give to us helps immensely and so I cannot thank you enough for being someone on this platform who has such an alternative personality. Love you heaps Qcknd.
As a tattooed woman who's in a 6 year relationship with my non-tattooed fiance' I can't really speak to being on the receiving end of this. I didn't start getting tattooed until a couple of years after we started dating, but it was pretty obvious I was alternative by my style: platform boots, long black jackets with enough studs to add an extra 10 pounds, and half black and red hair because I loved Harley Quinn. (This around 2009/2011)
He has always known I was going to be heavily tattooed eventually, and as of right now my entire right arm is covered with 8 other large pieces across my body.
Our relationship is incredibly open and both of us are currently on the lookout for a new female partner and, ideally, we both want to find someone who is alternative. I'm in charge of this endeavor and browsing Tinder for several months has been interesting because I get to see the other side of your argument. It's not so much a "fetish", it's a personal preference. (At least it is for us). I don't swipe right on every tattooed woman I see on Tinder, nor do I swipe left on every woman who doesn't. I always read the profiles and see if we share any common interests or hobbies. It's great when the woman I see has a lot of ink on her skin but it doesn't completely define what we're looking for in a partner, it's more as you phrased it -- a way to immediately connect with someone on at least a few similar interests -- loving tattoos is one of them.
I think this is a really fascinating topic, and personally, I have never loved my body more than I do now after getting tattooed. Back in high school I utterly hated my body to the point of being on the brink of developing an eating disorder. As of today I weigh 15 pounds more but I have never felt more confident in my body and loved looking at myself in the mirror as much as I do now. Being tattooed has helped my self image and confidence in ways that I cannot even put to words, so knowing that I feel so much more confident in myself I can see how others might take notice of that and be attracted by it in some way.
oh god i used to get so many "so... any tattoos i can't see?" or "any piercings i should know about?" and its disgusting. i love my body and my art and i think I'm sexy in my own way, but just because you're tattooed thats not an invitation to anybody in the world to treat your body disrespectfully. LOVE THIS TOPIC
I think a lot of this has to do with straight men in general and the fact that for most of them, women are just various stereotypes (which are generally created and perpetuated by men). Most women fit into some grossly oversimplified porn trope category and many men think that's how women really are.
Lindsey Chamberlain Strong well thanks for not saying all men
this tattoo talk tuesday was fucking beautiful! I enjoyed every minute of it!
This opened my eyes on dating with my tattoos.
I definitely relate to this unnecessary sexualization. When I got my first tattoo (a rib tattoo that I designed), I was really excited to show it off! I think I posted 3 pictures online? The first was obviously when it wasn't completely healed because I was excited! (rightfully so, my artist did an amazing job). The second photo I posted it had just healed, and It was a close-up. Yes, the bottom of my bra was in the photo, but it wasn't really sexual? but I went out of my way to get a good shot for two reasons. 1.) So that I could see it, because honestly as a busty person it can be difficult so see your tattoo besides struggling in the mirror (and I'd like to be able to show it off without flashing people in public) and 2.) I wanted to get a good photo for my artist to post on instagram
The last photo I posted was kind of artsy. It wasn't sexualized at all, but I had some awesome Christmas lights up in my dorm, and it looked really good... and I wanted to post it. I found it extremely uncomfortable that (at the time) some people really close to me were actually a bit rude. "Stop posting your tit on instagram lol love the tattoo" - like...? A- I went out of my way to not have it in the photo and B- who are you?
Anyways I figured I'd share my frustrations. I totally related when you mentioned taking a photo and just being like, well, they're going to take it that way no matter what. My rib tattoo can make me feel sexy if that's how I feel, but that doesn't mean that I'm sexualizing myself by posting a picture of a tattoo that I'm proud of.
It's been a while that I love your channel, love your voice, love listening to you talk, especially about tattoos but about anything, we tattooed women must unite. Just felt like sharing
My husband and I met on Tumblr! Something I've also experienced as a tattooed person is that people often comment on how I have tattoos whereas my husband doesn't. Some people have said it makes me more "masculine" than him, which is just dumb. He'd like to get some eventually, and we're into the same things, but it gets tiring to get comments like that about how I'm tattooed and he's not.
last summer I went to a printmaking courses, I remember there was a tattooed teacher. he was young (like in his later twenties), talk and with a lot of tattoos in his both arms. lots of girls like him because of that, because of that kind of alternative style, or bad ass style, I don't know. I thought it was a little bit immature. I mean, I like tattoos, I really do. I am an artist and I like all kind of art. I like piercing or dyed hair as well. but I don't get the point on feeling attracted to someone just because he or she is tattooed. I think it has to be weird to know that someone is attracted to you just because this person have seen that you have a tattoo.
anyway, love your channel.
(sorry for my English, I am from Spain)
Thank you for making this ! I did have problems with one of my tattoos being over sexualized before and it's just really annoying. I'm a cosplayer and share my work on instagram. I have a thigh tattoo, which represents one of my teachers who died of cancer. It has a really deep meaning for me and I just don't know how to react when random dudes on instagram say that it's sexy. :/
"Damn that's a fucking good tattoo... your the wooorst!" hahah I han relate to this
I personally think that it's OK to think that someone's tattoos are sexy HOWEVER making sexual comments on them and making them out to a sexual thing only isn't kina like an this person is sexy and I like their tattoos kind of thing if that makes any sense
I recently got my third tattoo and its pretty big, its 3 flowers on my inner bicep and my partner absolutely loves it. I do find though that other people on social media message me constantly and always want to see the full thing because you can only see a little bit of it in my pictures. This tattoo honestly makes me feel beautiful and i love it! I love how tattoos can make you feel so powerful
I seriously need a qcknd podcast
A note on construction companies just in case it ever helps anyone out. I work in that industry and if you notice construction sites tend to have company branding on them. Thats a form of advertising to them, what if someone cat calls a woman thats in charge of a several million dollar development? That company is now ruled out and would lose the potential to get the money from that build. If a construction worker cat calls you or does anything untoward and they have company branding it is well within your capability to call the company and tell them what happened. They could lose revenue from that so if they're not stupid they'll take you seriously. Not saying you have to I'm just leaving this here in case it ever helps anyone in that situation.
i feel this 100%. i am a tattooed woman and sometimes when i'm feeling good, i want to go out showing them off but other times in summer when i'm wearing shorts i don't want to be approached. and i feel like i shouldn't have to choose between feeling good in my skin and being asked if i like pain. me and my boyfriend have a similar amount of tattoos and it's something we bond over but it was winter when we met so that side of both of us wasn't revealed until later on! love this topic, i could listen to your talk about it forever!
I actually never commented on a youtube video. And I'm actually not a youtube person, but you are the first youtuber that I truly can relate to and I enjoy watching your videos, espacially those where you talk about such 'deep' topics. I don't have so many tattoos yet, I started getting tattooed three years ago, but I already consider myself a tattoo-person and I dated a few guys and had a similar expierence. They didn't tell me directly but after two or three dates it was clear to me that they just found it interesting that I'm tattooed and pierced (which is quite uncommen in the city that I live in) and they wanted to expierence dating that kind of type. For me this is a real waste of time. I'm not an interesting person a guy can collect and expierence because it's just 'cool' or whatever. Nobody should date me because I'm tattooed or because the way I look, doesn't matter if I'm tattooed, pierced, in a wheelchair, blonde, tall or whatsoever. And our society is so superficial, it's so annoying. Currently I'm not dating at all, firstly because I just enjoy being single at the moment, secondly because I'm tired of all that drama and superficial people and miscommunitation because of social media and whats ap.. I don't try to force it anymore, just trying to live a happy life and surround myself with the people I love, there will be someone in the future, but in the meantime I just want to be myself and be happy.
Bring Morgan back on for the topic!
hiya! this isn't entirely related to the video but I liked what you were saying about the community aspect of your channel and wanted to join in for the first time! I'm fifteen, I've been watching your videos for a while, and would like to say a quick thank you because although I'm still not sure how many tattoos I want or if I even want any at all, your videos have given me such an incredible insight into all the aspects of being tattooed, not just "how much did it hurt" or "what did your mum say". I feel that I can venture into your world when I'm a little older with a better idea of what I want, how best to get it and what it might entail. you are a huge inspiration to me, keep being cool :)
im here early and I feel giddy bout it
I love this conversation on sexualization, the way she says it is so real, and complex, just how it really is. She really showed that sexuality and sexualization is not the same. I love it.
I feel like this is similar to people only being attracted to someone because of their race. Like when guys are only attracted to Asian girls or saying things like I've never been with a black guy or something like that. All groups are over sexualized to some extent because they're foreign to another group. But I think with the increase in tattoo popularity it should become less of a stereotype over time but who knows man
Totally want a style evolution video
YES!
I really appreciate you talking about this so thoughtfully. I've found that people who in some way fall outside of the norm, especially visually, are sexualized and fetishized for that quality.
I love my tattoos they make me feel so confident, people are looking at the art on my body and not my insecurities
I get asked if I am a Suicide Girl at least three times a day when out and about, I feel you girl.
I think it all comes up to the general oversexualization of the female body, some people hear about anything related to it and all they can think about is "how perverted your nakedness is ". Like damn my body is my mind's packaging it is where I live, not here for your sexual enjoyment.
I love your glasses! I can't wait until I have a job where I can dress like myself.
I really enjoyed this video and it really enlightened me. As a person who has no tattoos but plans to be tattooed in the future this was very helpful. Genuinely one of my favorite channels, you are such a soothing human being. Have a lovely rest of your day Qcknd! -Aya
My least favorite question I get from people close to me about tattoos is “are you finally done getting tattoos now?” i never feel like I can answer that properly because for me it feels like a unfinished peice of work, its alot of tattoos but until I feel like its enough idk that I will ever feel that satisfaction of feeling like its all finished. Its hard to express that to people. Sorry for spelling or grammar mistakes I am writing this quickly.
Once you find "the one", they will love you and find you sexy, tattoos and all. Speaking from experience, my boyfriend of 8+ years fell for me before I got any tattoos and despite him voicing he isn't fond of tattoos, he respects me and my choices and loves how I look even with tatoos now. He has no tattoos, but I think I influenced him a little to get at least one that he said he could see getting and love it. I personally think it all comes down to overall open-mindedness and respect from a date, and that could even come from a non-tattooed person.
I love this! When I first met my husband, I didn't have tattoos but had always wanted some. He did and I have to admit that it was one of the things that caught my eye and my attention. (Because of its meaning and execution and because I thought that he was gorgeous.) Perhaps shallow of me, but true... That being said, we never had any issues with him being tattooed while I'm not. Over the years we have been on an exciting journey and I am finally set on my first tattoo design and artist just as he is set on expanding his. It sucks, but I do constantly get asked how he ended up with someone like me because I Have a higher education and he must be stupid because he is in the military and tattooed. They don't realize that he is one of the smartest people I know. We just let it all be and don't give it any second thought. You do you! Love your videos! (Sorry to hear about the fact that you're going through a rough time. Hope it all gets sorted out soon)
Brilliant points brought up, I definitely am into this type of discussion. Hitting the nail on the head, yet again girl.
Thank you for making this! Just starting to get annoyed with how any women with tattoos on the Internet are getting crazy over sexualized looking forward to what you're going to say :)
When i was in highschool, i had just gotten my septum done. It was my first piercing, and boy did i have no idea that perverts were gonna now come out of the wood works. My TEACHER, my fucking TEACHER at my highschool went through a lengthy speech in class, in front of all my classmates, about how my piercing represents "dominants" and bdsm, he then continued on to say "so you are into that"? I was a sophmore in highschool for god sakes, and my own teacher asked me if i was into something overly sexual, just on the basis that i had a septum piercing. I dropped that class the next day, and everytime i saw him i would just glare.
Isis that was WAY out of line and you should've reported him with that many witnesses.
marybeth406 Ugh, I know believe me I really wish that I wouldve immediately tooken action and reported him. But I was young and to embarrassed by the entire ordeal, plus the staff at the highschool I went to were a bunch of crooks and pervs anyways. They wouldnt have cared. ;c
This video is like exactly what I needed right now. I've been wavering back and forth about posting pics of myself in underwear I made (because I made it) on my blog. This has been an enlightening discussion that makes me feel less silly about worrying about it.
I'm so happy you made a video on this ...that's one thing that drives me crazy is over sexualization of tattooed females ... I get that mostly at work and being called anything derogatory about my body mods makes me instantly disgusted and uncomfortable
I find this topic so interesting! I'd love if you did another video where you talk to lots of different tattooed people and talk about their experiences with over-sexualization of tattoos. I personally don't have any tattoos (yet), and ever since I started planning to get one this is a thing I've thought about a lot. I grew up in a rural area of West Virginia, so I didn't see too many heavily tattooed people growing up. Probably the first heavily tattooed people I ever saw were Suicide Girls or something similar, so I've always kind of subconsciously associated heavily tattooed women with body confidence and semi-nude photos. Now it seems like most people have a tat or two, even though where I live it's mostly little quotes or small memorial tattoos. I feel like heavily tattooed women or women with very large tattoos are MUCH more likely to be sexualized in public or receive creepy comments.
The part where you talk about your OkCupid experience was super interesting. It's weird how people still seem to associate tattooed people with living fast/spontaneity considering that most people who have more than a couple tattoos put a huge amount of time and planning into it. When i finally get a tattoo it'll be one of the least spontaneous things I've ever done, considering I've been planning it for over a year and am currently on a wait list for the artist I want! I've spent more time planning this tattoo than I did apartment shopping!
I completely agree with you on this topic. It's weird being a tattooed lady and dating. I think people expect me to only date people with tattoos, and while I obviously love tattoos and tattoo culture, I don't think surface level stuff like that is 100% important. It matters way more on personality, interests, understanding one another on a deeper level etc. I'm someone who has dated guys who were not tattooed at all to a guy who was a tattoo artist. And let me tell you, dating a tattoo artist is not all it's cracked up to be lol. I also feel like being tattooed is heavily fetishized, which can be frustrating. Guys on tinder can be so creepy and gross when it comes to that stuff. But I think it's important to recognize that there are going to be gross people out there no matter what. I love my body, I love my tattoos and there's nothing that a creep can say or do to take that away from me.
this is sooooo fucking real i just got a tattoo on my side and i wanna post pictures of it so bad but i don't wanna seem i'm like "oh hey everyone here's my side boob" :///
I feel your description of what you like to do on a friday night on a spiritual level
Great video, like always. I'm getting my first tattoo in one week!! I'm beyond excited!!
People with tattoos always caught my eye as a tattooed person, but I always take the initiative to talk to them and compare personality or interests, but I never being up tattoos. I just examine them by glances as I do my own when I'm just sitting in my room. I feel the same way when it comes to the whole, "you have any more hidden?" or "Don't worry, I'm looking at your tattoo (tattoo on back of leg)"
Yess as soon as I got my upper back tattooed I actually loved it, haven't heard it so well put before!
Leaaaaast favorite fucking interaction: "you got lotsa tattoos, huh? Is that what you're into, you like that?"
I 100% feel this. I got my thigh tattooed recently and I would never have taken a photo without pants on but that's the only way to show my tattoo which i am so absolutely in love with
When I was dating, I was attracted to and drawn in by personality and that openness that people have when they are interested in another person and want to get to know them better. This isn't always so, but it's nice when things happen that way. I had worked with women that were tattooed, usually from when they were much younger - the ubiquitous Swallow on their hand between the thumb and forefinger. Nothing too adventurous but satisfied their desire to be inked. My home is a seaport in the Southern Pacific. Where there are ships, there are seaman and they attract girls and others too of course, but it's the girls and their tattoos that I was attracted too. Tattoos were not a prerequisite, but interesting instead. With this background of interest there was an inevitability that I would be tattooed. Now, like Topsy, they have multiplied to full chest pieces, on my upper back, shoulder to elbow. No more though, but it's a continuing process of looking at tattoo designs on the Internet, but never going any further. I'm now an old man and in generally poor health, the next tattoo could be the last thing I ever do😆🙂
My situation isn't necessarily being sexualized for my tattoos, but
instead being judged and put into a stereotype because I have them. You have to understand that people are going to want to think whatever they want to think. So as a tattooed black woman, people assume my tattoos are "ghetto" or reminiscent of a stereotype I must fit into because I am black. I have American traditional tattoos and follow a style that is seen more in the "white" subculture of tattooing. Yet people try to judge me based on the fact I have tattoos on my body regardless of what I have tattooed on my body. It is something I know I'm going to have to deal with if I want to continue getting tattoos, and I know I can't rightfully get angry at every person who assumes I'm "ghetto" due to my "tattooed lifestyle." People see what they wanna see, and a lot of the stupid things that are said to me are %100 ignorant and %100 genuine because they don't know any better.
I had to chuckle when you said you took pix of your back to see your tattoo. My first was on my shoulder blade and I can't see it well. I actually had times where I'd practically forget I had it because unless I was intentionally twisting around in a mirror. So I never saw it. Lol.
you look like the spirit of valentine's day today! i love what you said and your concerns about being sexualized and stereotyped for this that or the other. i just got back on the dating market and remembered that being bisexual connotes similar things as being tattooed to many men!
I look forward to Tuesday every week! Thanks, qcknd! P.S. Where is your sweater from??
I think this is a great topic for you to revisit and not just with one other person! If you could get a few other people to film and talk with that would be such an awesome discussion to watch. 😊
I feel this on such a personal level. Having experience with tinder, and working in a bar, and restaurant I experienced lots of men thinking I was kinda a novelty and I could offer more than an untattoed woman or something. Maybe that I was "kinky" or something? I don't know. I've heard the "I've never been with someone tattooed" line many many times. And I'm not even considered heavily tattooed. 🙄
I have a backpiece that covers almost the whole back...and I got a picture on which you can see it completely, but always when I show it to others, especially men say things like "wow you got a very good figure with a tiny waist" and stuff like that and I have the feeling that they don't concentrate on the tattoo at all ;( That annoys me, cause I just wanted to share the whole picture to explain it better and they only concentrate on the body image not the tattoo... the same thing with a tattoo on my thigh that you can only see when I wear short hotpants...Of course I myself feel more confident and sexy, but if I wanna show someone my tattoos and wnna explain their meanings and don't want them at this moment to sexualize me...annoying thing after all.I like tattos on others, too and I look at them...but I want to know where the others got the tattoo if it's good or if it has a meaning to them....
I have a tattoo on my collarbone/chest area and guys are always like "where else are you tattooed?" ehile they check me out and I'm like "my finger and leg"
love the way you critically think . solid points