Things Secure People Just Don't Say

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  • Опубликовано: 2 авг 2024
  • Hands up if you'd like to feel even a little more emotionally secure 🙋‍♀️
    So how do we do it then:? How do we change change the way we think and feel about ourselves?
    Well, first we can talk about what more emotionally secure people don't say. What they make a habit of intentionally not saying because they know indulging these thoughts or feelings by indulging them with their words will only make them buy into them more.
    And in today’s episode of GoodForMeTV, we're going to talk about the nine specific things that emotionally secure people make a habit of not saying and how doing so actually helps them build their confidence, their emotional intelligence and belief in themselves.
    ____
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    #emotionalintelligence #selfconfidence #emotionallysecure

Комментарии • 363

  • @juliakristinamah
    @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +30

    Hi - Really glad you're here. What was one of your takeaways from this talk?

    • @josephpchajek2685
      @josephpchajek2685 4 года назад +2

      I never realized how much people including myself say these things. Even simple things lik, "it's all good". This enables me to introspect better and be morte compassionate to myself and others, be more real wither others and take better responsibility for what say and do starting before the words even leave my mouth.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      @@josephpchajek2685 love this.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +4

      @@heatherandrus8187 I totally agree. We can't always drop everything to be there for people, but most of us could stand to be a little more honest and authentic.

    • @mmhll07
      @mmhll07 4 года назад +3

      ‘You make me feel’... in the heat of a moment really hard to not frame discussions in this way. A really useful reminder about an individual’s responsibility to frame their own emotional landscape too. It’s not always easy not to project that though. I’m new to your channel. Thanks for this. Made me think :)

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +3

      @@mmhll07 Glad you're here Emma. And yeah, taking full responsibility for ourselves is no joke. I'm still working on it everyday.

  • @westcoastsands
    @westcoastsands 4 года назад +106

    Things emotionally secure people do not say:
    1) “It’s all my fault.”
    2) “It’s all your fault.”
    3) “This isn’t fair. Life isn’t fair. It’s all terrible.”
    4) “I am such a failure.”
    5) “I’m not good enough. I’m not loveable enough. I’m not worthy enough.”
    6) “Well they made me feel this way.”
    7) “Just think positive. High vibes only.”
    8) “Yes” when they really want to say “No”.

    • @cherylweaver5129
      @cherylweaver5129 4 года назад +9

      Thank you! I like brevity.

    • @catdeluxeatday
      @catdeluxeatday 4 года назад +3

      Why 7?

    • @vicki3220
      @vicki3220 4 года назад

      Thank you!

    • @parkerlovett763
      @parkerlovett763 4 года назад +2

      jazz girl because it’s not reality. My sister used to be like this and she took it to the extreme. She would pretend that negativity didn’t exist as long as you made it positive. She was trying to make things better for her and for everyone to block out trying to heal from past negativity.

    • @Xelets
      @Xelets 3 года назад

      In some cases nothing might be your fault. Sometimes, you give everything for someone to feel better, but gain the opposite in return. Imagine trying so hard to help out someone you love, and only being met with rejection and hatred?

  • @sadiaarman363
    @sadiaarman363 3 года назад +3

    " Never allow another person to have more control over your mind and emotions than yourself." Really powerful!

  • @mariafalcao6872
    @mariafalcao6872 4 года назад +64

    Saying no and yes and mean it without guilt. Struggled with people pleasing since childhood and working through that. Working towards living my life in what’s best for me without the approval for what other people think!

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +3

      Good for you for making this a priority. There is so much emotional freedom that comes when we allow ourselves to do this.

    • @alohaanderson53
      @alohaanderson53 4 года назад +1

      Maria Falcao me as well. The people pleaser has been so difficult and challenging to me to break and they were never pleased. Vicious cycle to break. It’s hard work.

    • @sachikuwahara5460
      @sachikuwahara5460 4 года назад +1

      How did you guys break the cycle? I am still struggling to be able to tell people “No.”

    • @CherrybelleDawn
      @CherrybelleDawn 4 года назад

      U go girl❣

  • @Proverbs-_
    @Proverbs-_ 4 года назад +45

    It's refreshing when two emotionally secure people come together. Talk about effective conflict resolution!

  • @earthgrazer5511
    @earthgrazer5511 3 года назад +3

    I feel like I've been living a lie. I feel like I've never learned anything that actually matters from this household. Growing up, i wallow in self-pity, shame, and insecurity. A mix made in hell. I feel burdened that my parents are relying on me to save the household. And i feel guilty for daring to feel that way when it's for my family's wellbeing. Thank you for helping me figure out that I need to be well first. I'm just realizing now how important emotional intelligence is to live the life where you can be authentically you. I never even thought that could be possible. Here's to working towards my intentional self!

    • @messue428
      @messue428 3 года назад +2

      I feel the same. Never too late to become better and stronger!

  • @narbox8438
    @narbox8438 4 года назад +18

    I have to say that after viewing your videos for the past 5 month, I made amazing changes in my life. I am now a system administrator, i also been going to college online part-time, and I have been working out. My body and mind are getting stronger. So thank you for what you do.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Yes brother!!! Good for YOU for showing up for yourself and doing the internal work. That is everything.

    • @westcoastsands
      @westcoastsands 4 года назад +1

      This is awesome. ^

  • @ErikaK
    @ErikaK 4 года назад +12

    Feeling confident, being ourselves and taking responsibility for our actions, being respectful, kind and considerate to others, and respecting ourselves as well :)

  • @dramendiana373
    @dramendiana373 4 года назад +11

    All vibes are welcome! Yep, definitely much better. I love all the points you made. I think is about being as respectfully with others as you are with yourself, no more, no less. Maybe sounds easy, but requires a lot of observation and acceptance to be in touch with our feelings and thoughts, so we can act in integrity. Thanks for this video! 🤗

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +2

      So so true - that level of awareness and emotional intelligence do definitely have to be cultivated.

  • @bakenpraise3756
    @bakenpraise3756 4 года назад +11

    I recently discovered your channel in my feed and man I can say I did not regret it's like I keep getting hooked by your videos and weights been lifted off from you talking about anxiety to how society makes us feel anxious to trying to be perfect when we are all imperfect thank you so much for these life advises cause I have been recently struggling with anxiety from lack of sleep ro anxiousness about the future etc and your videos are helping thank you again.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      So good to have you here - and serious respect to you for investing in yourself and your happiness.

  • @postpartumdepression_sucks9543
    @postpartumdepression_sucks9543 4 года назад +13

    I’m new here, and I want to be an emotionally secure woman.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +3

      Welcome here! Stay with us, and you'll get tons of great tools.

  • @nishapan1376
    @nishapan1376 4 года назад

    Julia Kristina, the thing I love about your videos is the balance. You tell it like it is (which is sometimes hard to hear but also necessary), but you are also compassionate and empathic. In my experience, a lot of speakers tend towards one extreme or the other. I am so glad I found your videos! Keep up the great work!

  • @christianlamb
    @christianlamb 4 года назад +10

    Great video!🔥🔥 I've found that having a more positive relationship with failing has been so beneficial for me. Helping clients to change their relationship with failing yields awesome results. Thanks for the inspiration!! You rock!!🔥❤

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Yes sir! So glad we're on the same page with this one.

  • @GirlMomma
    @GirlMomma 4 года назад +13

    We do have an amazing community here in our little corner of the internet, don't we!? 💜 So grateful.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Don't we though? I love it.

    • @GirlMomma
      @GirlMomma 4 года назад

      @@juliakristinamah Yes girl!! Thanks to you! 😘

    • @bms2010
      @bms2010 4 года назад

      This community is toxic and hateful towards individuals who have a hard time going through life with mental issues or any other issues

    • @GirlMomma
      @GirlMomma 4 года назад

      @@bms2010 I'm sorry you feel that way 😔💜

    • @bms2010
      @bms2010 4 года назад

      @@GirlMomma i know your being sarcastic but its still true

  • @tanishaosakwe9644
    @tanishaosakwe9644 4 года назад +19

    Hi, Julia!! I’m a new subscriber! I’m in psychotherapy for the first time in my life, and the nuances brought me here! I love it already!

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +2

      Tanisha!! Welcome here. And a huge kudos to you for investing in yourself in this way. Amazing.

  • @christyb9487
    @christyb9487 4 года назад

    I have recently started my self love journey and your videos are key in teaching me how to get my life back in order to do so. Thank you for teaching me that it’s not about me changing others behavior, it’s about me giving them a choice in regards to the behaviors that I can not accept for me. What I am going to take away from this video is there are choices that offer solutions, and looking for what is best for me (which is a part of setting healthy boundaries) is not only acceptable but also very necessary for my well being. Thank you so very much for sharing!!!

  • @debralee3368
    @debralee3368 4 года назад

    Hello Julie. I have never had, or thought I needed, therapy before but after the worst break up in my life, I realize I do. No matter how bad he treated me (in every way) I let him and I am realizing that there is a flaw in me that allowed this. I am on a journey to find me, fix me and learn to love me for the first time in my 59 years. Thank you for your videos

  • @CeliaCavalli
    @CeliaCavalli 4 года назад

    Julia you are a breath of fresh air! I love your attitude and sense of humor and how in depth you are on topics while doing it in a fun way. You’re like the friend who everyone’s needs!

  • @ministryoflove7855
    @ministryoflove7855 4 года назад +35

    Everything that secure people do is coming from the frame 'I am enough'

  • @perr5544
    @perr5544 4 года назад +1

    Julia thanks for being there, listening to you , how you handled your life and sharing your love for life with us made me thinking about my life and how to make these changes , knowing that is possible ,and that i'm not alone in my quest to be a more complete version of myself.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      You are already complete. You just have some unhelpful beliefs that are stopping you from seeing it. You've got this, friend. You are not broken - just a human on this journey of growth, healing and self-love with the rest of us. Sending you love and inner peace my friend.

  • @rach940
    @rach940 4 года назад +2

    I loved this video. I’m consciously working on my boundaries at the moment and it’s not always easy but it does feel freeing to say no and recognising when something isn’t going to be healthy for me. Thank you for all you do!

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Boundaries are so so important - good for you for making them, and yourself, a priority.

  • @matty4280
    @matty4280 4 года назад +6

    Thank you for sharing this! I would love to open up a conversation regarding setting boundaries and the turbulence that results from striving to become more emotionally secure. To clarify, what I mean by "turbulence" are the interactions with people who do not like it when you set your own boundaries (even if it is stated respectfully). Again, thank you for your work and videos!

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +2

      Yes Matthew - I talk extensively about this in my Healthy Boundaries Bootcamp course because there most likely will be backlash when we start messing with the fruit basket.

  • @joycele7974
    @joycele7974 4 года назад +1

    You inspire me. I appreciate you and your channel and the effort you make into putting these videos on top of counselling people. It is highly appreciated. You are naturally gifted with communication and I feel you were born to do this type of mental health and relationship type work. You're a natural 🖤

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      Thanks you Joyce! That's really kind of you. There are few things I enjoy more than teaching and speaking so it really means a lot when people find my talks helpful.

  • @user-gy7bg1rv6o
    @user-gy7bg1rv6o 4 года назад +8

    This is a fantastic way to put it.
    Love this logic sooo much
    Thank you Julia 💕💕

  • @sheldacalland4345
    @sheldacalland4345 4 года назад +1

    Hi Julia I’m new to your channel.
    I’m on a journey of healing from toxic relationships beginning with parents . Such a great video, boundaries are huge !!!
    Looking forward to watching more .

  • @salhooper
    @salhooper 3 года назад

    I was taught something called the responsibility pie. You don’t have all the pie to yourself. It needs to be shared.

  • @wesleyjvw6859
    @wesleyjvw6859 4 года назад +2

    This is so true. The last one - saying yes when you actually want to say no - really resonated with me and I didn’t even notice that I do it before hearing you talk about it so thank you! I will definitely download the 25 ways of saying no (because I really don’t know how to say no to other people, I usually say yes to everything I don’t want to do and end up having to go places and do things I very much dislike and sometimes even things that don’t agree with my values and morals by which I live my life) - Once again, thank you for your videos, they honestly make such a difference in my life.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Thanks brother - that means a lot. Know our needs and preference, finding our voice, and learning how to communicate them is huge. Keep learning and growing and you will absolutely get there.

    • @scottkraft1062
      @scottkraft1062 3 года назад

      When you realize that you're the most important person in your life. Loving yourself means you to Guarantees you that your living your life with only the right intentions. Becoming centered allows to enjoy the living moment

  • @PracticalInspiration
    @PracticalInspiration 4 года назад +2

    Great point. Things might get tough, but if you give up then nothing will work out, but if you keep going, there's always hope for change

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      We keep going and growing - and that's the point ;-)

  • @angel772921
    @angel772921 4 года назад

    Awesomeness Julia. .thank you..I find if I cannot have a sympathetic conversation with anyone and they ignore my feelings..I'm gone...deal breaker time. I have no time to deal with their nonsense....also HSP and empaths will sense it and as one I took a lot of others energies into my field and gave all my power away to everyone...no more healing and self love and the help of baddass hearts like yours has changed that..it can be a lonely path but rather alone or with jerks. .I'll chose me everytime .. much love 💖

  • @khozg
    @khozg 4 года назад

    I need to work on how I constantly say to stay positive all the time, I have a bad habit of just making myself be happy all the time and end up neglecting my negative thoughts and emotions. I have had a few outbursts of emotions but I'm usually isolated when that happens so there are no issues with affecting other people with them, this video has helped me see that I need to still work on that, thank you!

  • @boom-boom4725
    @boom-boom4725 3 года назад

    I loved how she said that she has failed plenty of times and on-going in the conversation.

  • @candyheartsart
    @candyheartsart 3 года назад

    I have been sharing your videos with my partner because we are both trying to work on ourselves and our childhood trauma and the ways that it impacts our relationship in a negative way

  • @deanhine
    @deanhine 4 года назад

    Hi Julia, I’m new to the channel, been enjoying a few of your videos today, started with HSP which I’ve only just heard about and identify with a bit.
    Really enjoying your content, it’s really informative and engaging.
    I’ve been investing in myself and seeking out therapy for my traumas and mental health, it’s lead to my starting study in psychology so I can hopefully help others as much as I’ve been helped.
    Thank you

  • @gideongonzales8043
    @gideongonzales8043 4 года назад

    hi Julia, I just found your videos recently and listening to it really helped me pinpoint things in my life that ive been doing wrong and gave me a lot of ideas on facets to work on myself. Thank you very much! consider me as your avid fan.

  • @admirbarucija2018
    @admirbarucija2018 4 года назад +8

    I've missed your videos so much!! I can't wait to watch after I get out of class

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      So glad you're here Admir!

    • @admirbarucija2018
      @admirbarucija2018 4 года назад

      @@juliakristinamah Thank you so much! I'm glad I am able to support such a life-changing channel, you're an inspiration to many!

  • @barbt.1448
    @barbt.1448 4 года назад

    Love your videos and this is one of my favorites!
    It’s like you are talking to me!
    .... but I see in the comments I am not the only one, so nice to know others feel the same... and hope your videos help us all feel better about ourselves.
    Thank you! ♥️

  • @jackiehocking2848
    @jackiehocking2848 4 года назад +1

    This is really cool, i subscribed.
    I need practice with boundaries for sure!! Some people i just have none with like family that i help and doesnt make a difference... i end up enabling behaviour that i didnt want to continue. I never say what i feel to peoples faces its always afterwards that i realise i've just been agreeable as hell, then i come away feeling two faced because i didnt really agree with anything i just said 🤦‍♀️. I just dont know how to have positive conflict and see it through.

  • @bonkahermitakaintjudge9228
    @bonkahermitakaintjudge9228 4 года назад +3

    Another great presentation and again you were able to show how to navigate through the do’s and don’ts of when and when not to accept responsibility for our own behaviour and when to stand for your values. Thanks again.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      Thank you again for always being so generous and supportive with your words.

    • @bonkahermitakaintjudge9228
      @bonkahermitakaintjudge9228 4 года назад

      You are very welcome. Thanks again for your response and take care.

  • @Tranceart7
    @Tranceart7 4 года назад

    Hey. I been watching for about a week, and you opened eyes. I just this particular to my mom and grandma though i dont speak to. In the list their something we all said. I appreciate you. Things make more a sense and i feel like i making progress

  • @veronicabruce2078
    @veronicabruce2078 4 года назад

    I am going to work on my emotional inteligence by trusting all the right thoughts that represent my perfectly imperfect personality. My goal is to grow happier & healthier. Thanks.

  • @captaindan1000
    @captaindan1000 4 года назад +1

    This made me think of a song. Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffet. In that song he says one thing is nobody's fault, another thing could be his fault, and another thing is his own damn fault. Secure people don't claim that there's a woman to blame. It's always you're own for getting wasted.

  • @kelseyt4300
    @kelseyt4300 4 года назад

    Wow! Such great gems. My biggest takeaway was not saying that everything is my fault. I tend to do this all of the time and it leads to arguments. Thank you! I can start to be more conscious of the fact that this is a conversation killer and unhealthy.

  • @lynnpyka3103
    @lynnpyka3103 4 года назад

    Hi Julia! I love you dynamic videos on gaining and keeping our ultimate real selves.

  • @tylerchapman3676
    @tylerchapman3676 4 года назад +3

    Thank you, truly thank you. I wish there were more channels like yours

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      It is so my pleasure Tyler. Thanks for your kind and encouraging words.

  • @marianayoshinagamary9194
    @marianayoshinagamary9194 3 года назад

    Your videos are helpful and you're so clear saying everything, that I just can say thank you and ask to keep doing it!! S2

  • @Jenniferanne100
    @Jenniferanne100 4 года назад +3

    I loved this video, honoring myself and others by practicing these tips and BOUNDRIES! Have saved this vid to watch again and again l.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      Really glad you found it useful Jennifer - and yes, boundaries are everything!

  • @robertfrate6665
    @robertfrate6665 4 года назад

    Hi Julia, I help people all the time even when they don’t appreciate it, I still help them, god and karma see it, and it’s my personality to love unconditional, ty, Bob

  • @CherbearAnn
    @CherbearAnn 4 года назад +1

    Sooo very wonderful as always!! Thank you for helping me grow daily. What resonated with me the most is your helpful words about not fearing failure. That is Huge and as you said there is comfort and peace in knowing it’s “just a thing” not good or bad. That is life changing, I say and I know will help me as I remember that and not want to give up instead. Aahhhh I feel the peace...

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Yes Cheryl!! I'm so glad this connected with you in such a big way.

  • @Cloclobunny
    @Cloclobunny 4 года назад

    'Failure isn't personal' Ahhhhhhh! moment!
    Freedom/easy going-ness that comes from 'knowing we can say no'!
    Thank you so much for all of the information in your vids!

  • @patriciacadogan6768
    @patriciacadogan6768 3 года назад

    Hi its saying no and not feeling obligated to say yes when I really dont want to and also feeling the emotions I feel, dont suppress them by trying to be positive. Great and very helpful tips for Life.

  • @isabellrc
    @isabellrc 4 года назад +1

    Very good information for both individuals & mental health professionals working with clients!
    Constantly feeling guilty & shameful, while taking on others issues is big & problematic for me! I wrote these 8 down; look forward to working with them

  • @brianodonnell9126
    @brianodonnell9126 4 года назад +1

    You talked a lot of sense, I study eastern psychology , and much of what you said links in to things in eastern philosophy as well. I like your realistic approach. You seem to understand exactly what life is really like. As opposed to what people think it's like. I think you are a person that can really help a lot of people. Good luck ☺Cheers Brian

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      Thanks brother - that really means a lot to me. I do work really hard to study, research and understand how we work (and don't work) as humans and I appreciate that this hard work is connecting with people like you.

  • @philosophygurl78
    @philosophygurl78 4 года назад

    Absolutely love your information, everything you said, really resonated with me. Thank you, shared this video and many others to my friends and on my profile,

  • @Cadow3
    @Cadow3 3 года назад

    This is so helpful! Answers I have been searching for for years.

  • @almakehlerbrown3935
    @almakehlerbrown3935 4 года назад +4

    I really needed to hear this video today, ty❤

  • @AlanCohenalco67
    @AlanCohenalco67 4 года назад

    failure is non-existent, it just means that you have not reached the solution yet, failure is an opportunity to grow, learn and experience change, attitude and perspective are essential to move forward , it's like regret, all paths in life lead you to where you are today,.. I wouldn't change a thing,.. it's my path.. let go of what no longer serves , move on. I chose and made my choices with each decision right or wrong..I accept the good, the bad and the ugly and this the key to maintain my emotional balance, recognizing your own self-worth.

  • @danielpriddy2288
    @danielpriddy2288 4 года назад +2

    Julia!!!
    U did it again... thank u so much for teaching us to love ourselves in ur videos.
    Ur amazing!!!

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      It is absolutely my pleasure. And YOU are amazing for showing up and investing yourself. Don't discount that!

    • @danielpriddy2288
      @danielpriddy2288 4 года назад

      @@juliakristinamah
      U have taught me how to make boundaries and be confident and well... uve taught me a lot actually!!!
      The way u break things down for us... for me anyways has changed my life!
      U dont know this but I'm a female. My ex-husband broke my neck and I was so trapped and miserable!
      My life has changed so much over the last 2 yrs and ur my absolute favorite life coach!
      I am so thankful.
      I use an alias bc I cant have my ex-husband find me.
      I really appreciate ur videos... ur encouragement... ur hope in ur videos... and u r always spot on!
      Sincerely... u r the best!

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      @@danielpriddy2288 Oh my gosh, girl - you are a warrior. I can't even imagine what you've been through. I am in absolute awe of your resilience and determination to do what you needed to do to get your life back. I'm inspired by you. Really good to connect.

  • @loricapp1144
    @loricapp1144 4 года назад +1

    Hi Julia! I'm a new subscriber. 😁 I'm definitely one of the hard to say no people at work. I work with mainly "A" personality type staff. I'm support staff at a state prison, but everyone there thinks I'm their support staff including the residents! I love to help others out, but if my plans can change quickly due to where I work. I'm excited to catch up on all your blogs. Thank you so much! Lori from Washington State.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Welcome neighbour to the south! I'm up the I-5 from you in Vancouver ;-) . Really glad you're here.

  • @cherylfagg8005
    @cherylfagg8005 3 года назад

    You are so helpful! What you say goes with where I am in my journey. Thank you so much!

  • @ashleyw6332
    @ashleyw6332 4 года назад

    I’m new! Turning 36 in 2 days work as a RN and have a 6 and 8 year old. I have Ben struggling long time with my marriage and wanting to be done with it yet struggling to make the right choice. I feel like I have lost myself in saying yes when I wanted to say no. So getting my self back means changing relationships and this is difficult

  • @xiao_teachingviolin416
    @xiao_teachingviolin416 4 года назад +2

    Thank you! I subscribed! This is very important for me to learn as a mom and teacher!

  • @robertfrate6665
    @robertfrate6665 4 года назад

    Hi Julia, I’m Bob, it’s a pleasure to meet you, your amazing with your experience in life, and very informative, ty so much for your help, I’m learning about myself, regards, Bob

  • @goodenoughgirl8102
    @goodenoughgirl8102 4 года назад +1

    First thought was wow! I’ve come a long way baby! Lol. I used to struggle very much with most of these. Sometimes the not good enough tries to creep back in, but I’m doing way better with it now than I used to.
    I’ve been catching myself lately about that phrase, “they made me feel this way.” I remember thinking I should just say, “I feel this way.” And then, “But why do I feel this way?” And then I just explore it. Nine times out of ten, it was someone being a jerk to me or them hitting a trigger or both.
    And I really can’t deal with those “positive thinking” people who come my way peddling that crap, as if we live in Utopia or can just chant crap and be in some Nirvana placebo bubble or as if we need to just “snap out of it.”
    Saying no is still difficult tho. I struggle more with the guilt feelings after I say no more than actually saying no tho.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Thanks for your insights here Stephanie. And yes, I hear you on the guilt that comes when we say no. Getting ourselves past that is definitely the bigger work that needs to be done.

  • @carmenl9682
    @carmenl9682 4 года назад +5

    I don't say any of these anymore but I realize that my friends and family do. One of the ones that stuck out the most to me is "good vibes only" because my mom has been this way for years. She suppresses all the negative things that exist and doesn't acknowledge them. Even when anything bad happens to me and i tell her, she would kind of brush it off..blame the system or an authority figure. Then when I'm feeling negative emotions, she would blame me for "incapable of being happy" and things like "lack of control for your feelings" but she would never acknowledge things directly which is so frustrating. What can i do? I simply just moved far away from her. After watching this video, i know that she isn't emotionally secure herself and it makes me feel better because I wasn't 100% part of the problem like she made it seem. Also, hello I'm a new subscriber! Great video 👍

    • @lisasnotes
      @lisasnotes 4 года назад

      Thank you, Carmen for sharing your intimate story about you and your mum. Thank you for voicing your feelings.

  • @Naranja93
    @Naranja93 4 года назад +2

    I will try to stop thinking that it's all my fault when something doesn't work. I think that is something I can achieve. However, my biggest problem is that how I feel depends on other people. I don't think I'm strong enough to fix that..

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      No letting other people dictate our emotions is huge - and definitely takes intentional work to get there. Little steps everyday and a crap ton of self compassion along the way.

  • @aprilalvarez3338
    @aprilalvarez3338 4 года назад +1

    Hi I’m new here. I’m glad that I found you here in youtube. 😇 Such a big help and blessing to us . Thank you

  • @m.skinner6303
    @m.skinner6303 4 года назад +1

    Hello Fantastic video, 1 thing that resonated with me, was good vibes only....I don't know if its because strangers always come up to me, telling me there life problems...or is it because I don't want to feel ...the good, bad and ugly.... take away; its okay to feel emotions...with a sprinkle of boundaries. Thank you !!

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      Yes sister! And we're also allowed to not take on other people's problems.

    • @m.skinner6303
      @m.skinner6303 4 года назад

      Julia Kristina Counselling Thank you for responding!! its a Florida beach thing. ( at least in Jupiter Florida) people that walk along the shore like to tell there problems because they know, they may not see you again . ...I do not take on their problems, I'm done trying to save the world or the little bird on the side of the road. ( but I will lend an ear for a few minutes - that's it) sometimes you learn good info. I do know how to feel, especially when I listen to this song by a Swedish group...LÉON the song PINK ...( I cry my heart out) I LOVE ALL HER ( Lotta) SONGS ....she writes all her own music, I can feel all her pain - she tortures herself, but she's young, shell get it) I love the "Treasure" song too. Try to at least listen to Pink and tell me that song doesn't make you cry?

  • @cristinaferreira2230
    @cristinaferreira2230 4 года назад +1

    great information , If you fail get up and go on your path never give up.

  • @spiralsun1
    @spiralsun1 4 года назад +4

    Hi, this is my first time here! I love this and I love you 😘 too! Thanks 🙏🏻

  • @elmooko69
    @elmooko69 4 года назад +1

    This was classic Julia Kristina! Thanks so much!

  • @elanahammer1076
    @elanahammer1076 3 года назад

    Hello Ms. Kristina, I am not sure if I have watched this production. I might have but either way, in a personal development sort of way, I listen but I do not always comment. Thanks for your goodness!

  • @allenquartermane6134
    @allenquartermane6134 4 года назад

    Wow, I'm amazed at how many buttons your pushing in my box car of junk! My biggest is I'm a failure ! As a professional session drummer at three of the top studios in NYC during the 70's, and at the age of 21, I was not allowed 1 beat out of place, and if I failed that one beat, my engineers, producers, and the bands I was drumming for would bring down fire on me. Granted I was at the time voted one of the top drummers, I had no idea it would be a major influence in other areas of my life even to this day as I am going to be 68 on Saturday . It has been a plague to me trying to be perfect for everyone and has been my downfall in being happy in life with myself as a perfectionist in stead of just striving for excellence. Love your videos and always share with as many people as will except your wisdom and guidance to not make the mistakes I had all my life. Sure wish you lived next door to me, but then I'd probably be a pain in the butt to you! Hahahahaha...........

  • @1lhw875
    @1lhw875 3 года назад

    I really find your videos helpful. Thank you!

  • @ermutigung8615
    @ermutigung8615 4 года назад

    This point of vue is interessting thank you I will consider to think about it

  • @queenofthebutterflies5212
    @queenofthebutterflies5212 4 года назад

    I JUST LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!!!!! 💓💞💓 Just listening to your voice is calming and inspiring 4 me! Peace, girl✌️😘

  • @sirenbodyjewelry3874
    @sirenbodyjewelry3874 4 года назад

    Hello Julia! Found your channel, liked and subscribed. Love your content!

  • @lauromartinsdagama8942
    @lauromartinsdagama8942 3 года назад

    I'm still learning with u. Thanks for being my best teacher.

  • @nataliewilliams625
    @nataliewilliams625 3 года назад

    Hi I'm Natalie. Ive just recently under your channel. I enjoy listening to you in the mornings as I make breakfast.

  • @bajabill1425
    @bajabill1425 3 года назад

    I enjoy listening to you and your tutorials!

  • @HD-mg9ru
    @HD-mg9ru 4 года назад +1

    Another Excellent video as always 🙏
    Thank you for all the wonderful knowledge and love you're putting out in the world. ❤
    I hope there's a book in the making!!
    Best seller!!!

    • @NenaLavonne
      @NenaLavonne 4 года назад

      H D 😊✨

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Thanks friend - that's really kind of you. I'd much rather speak than write, but I have thought about creating an outline for a book, and then voice recording all the content and having a writer put it all together. We'll see!!

    • @HD-mg9ru
      @HD-mg9ru 4 года назад

      @@juliakristinamah sounds like a great plan!

  • @bashirabdi9954
    @bashirabdi9954 4 года назад

    Hi, I love your page and I'm learning a lot. Thank you.

  • @burtonimages426
    @burtonimages426 4 года назад

    Brilliant and practical.

  • @fcalemos
    @fcalemos 4 года назад

    Hi, Julia! I am Fernanda, from Brazil, and I love your videos, since I'm trying hard to gain self confidence and also to keep in touch with the English language. I love your lessons and the way you communicate the ideas. Regarding this video, I loved the part you mention that trying to be always positive means sometimes to avoid experiences and feelings, something like the Hakuna Matata, right? Thank you for that!

  • @redwoodsorel5173
    @redwoodsorel5173 4 года назад

    It's great info, it's just different people's learning styles.
    I am a big picture person, so getting all the info carte Blanche makes it hard to take in, I have to break things down a bit for digestion.
    What I mean is.
    Listing the 9 things people say/don't say simply
    Then taking them one at a time with first level understanding and offering more in Depth thoughts for those who want to go deeper.

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      Glad you found it helpful. I recommend getting a pen and paper and writing down each point and then letting yourself reflect on each one later so it doesn't feel so overwhelming.

  • @christopherpape4823
    @christopherpape4823 4 года назад +3

    Hi Julia thank you I appreciate you 😊

  • @MrZapaaaa
    @MrZapaaaa 4 года назад

    saying no instead of always saying yes to people wanting something from me, the people-pleasing thing when I tell them no then they don't come around, so I don't see any of them. but it's turned into a thing where they only come around when they need something or want something, for free

  • @julianmasso6188
    @julianmasso6188 4 года назад

    Hi Love your energy and information, Yesenia

  • @B4mindcrime
    @B4mindcrime 3 года назад

    Hi, this is Bonnie! Love your videos! Just discovered them as I was looking for information about people who are needy. I have a female partner that drains my energy and I need help navigating this new relationship.

  • @deborahtaylor7902
    @deborahtaylor7902 4 года назад +2

    Wow. Learned something new. Re: positive vibes. Never thought of it that way.

  • @aproverbs31woman59
    @aproverbs31woman59 4 года назад +1

    That was awesome! Thanks!

  • @uknowitliberty6373
    @uknowitliberty6373 4 года назад

    Wonderful! Thanks!

  • @gloriaandrews4477
    @gloriaandrews4477 4 года назад

    Awesome thank you. I did share with my family

  • @rendezvouswithben9187
    @rendezvouswithben9187 4 года назад +1

    Hi there. The contents of this video are simply loaded and just full of substance. Thanks. By the way, I think I missed your video last week, can't find it... but I am glad you're back (-:

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад +1

      Hey friend! I wasn't on last week because I was teaching a live workshop. Glad to be back with you all this week!

    • @rendezvouswithben9187
      @rendezvouswithben9187 4 года назад

      @@juliakristinamah Hi. Okay. A live workshop is really good, it's positive. Thanks, friend. Continue soaring high

  • @ryangonzalez2032
    @ryangonzalez2032 4 года назад +2

    Dang she gets it. Wish she was my therapist . I’m recovering from my Calvert Narcissistic Wife . Her other video clips are good too..

  • @goldiehonn3764
    @goldiehonn3764 3 года назад

    Wow your like an addon to my current therapist 😀so helpful

  • @seagalindo6336
    @seagalindo6336 4 года назад

    This was a good session.

  • @rondone8702
    @rondone8702 4 года назад

    Thanks for your help

  • @stevebloom7675
    @stevebloom7675 4 года назад

    I'm new to you and really respect how you state things

  • @michelleoosthuizen3221
    @michelleoosthuizen3221 4 года назад

    Healthy boundaries and saying no... importance of this Im only learning now in my 40s.

  • @orbitofneptune
    @orbitofneptune 4 года назад +1

    3:51..... "It's all the goods!" You are so right Julia... Cause I feel that the foundation is what makes me curious about what the key points ( Meat and Potatoes) are

    • @juliakristinamah
      @juliakristinamah  4 года назад

      Some people like only the bare bones, but I learn better when all the meat is there, so that's how I teach ;-) Glad we're on the same page with this one.