heavy on a Tuesday !! My hairstylist always says her richest clients or those who tip the most were her tuesdays & wednesdays clients. I thought it wouldve been on Thursdays & Fridays because of payday but nope! But looking back it all makes sense because when I was working for a high end department store the days of the week they made the most money were always on mondays,tuesdays & wednesdays.
I dated a guy and things were great until he launched a company (something we both were passionate about) and he wanted me to run it. We wanted to be a “power couple” in our industry. Needless to say, it didn’t work. That was the worst relationship of my life. The dynamic changed tremendously because Business effects the personal. By the end, I lost respect for him and looked at him as an incompetent man with a ridiculously huge ego. I lost all respect for him and knew he’d be nothing without me. Once he started gaining attention , he felt like he “made me”. Lol the audacity of him to ever part his lips to utter such nonsense. I cursed him and that business and made a vow that Im never “building” with a man again. Way too many dynamics. I would much rather build my own, Let him build his own and we can come together as two entities. I’ve concluded that My only job as a woman is to compliment my man with my presence and essence. That’s all.
I did this too, I was doing most of the work for his business... and we were not on the road to a marriage anytime soon.... I jumped off the cliff when he said "what makes you think you deserve the rent to be paid in our new place? usually people are married before that happens.." ----TUHHH! the nerve! Usually people are married before they build businesses together too huh? Usually people are married before the woman gives you a loan for $4500...Yeah never again.
You knew he would be nothing without you? You do realize narcs say that stuff. You wanted the business too but you blame it all on him? Please get help for your personality disorder.
@@oneofone7108 lol If you don’t know what it means for you and your man to both make your own name for yourselves just say that. Some women appreciate their own recognition rather living in their husband’s shadow.
Good men will tell a woman NEVER to build with a man in poverty… NEVER! This man on the internet once said that it’s one of the dumbest things he sees black women do and they sell themselves short. He said the things that you as a woman is going to provide in that relationship, will surpass what he will be able to offer you. And if you give this man children, it’s game over, because you’ve given him something he can never repay back… a legacy. These broke men with mics on the internet will intimate you with disparaging words and aggression. They will attack your looks, education, and character so you can stoop down low for one of them. They want to convince a woman making $90K a year that she should be led by a man making $25K a year. A man who cannot financially take care of you in this day and age is not worthy of your time. Throw that beta back in the fishbowl.
If a man ever asks me what I do/what's my profession, I tell him as little as possible. My father told me men shouldn't be asking me that and they shouldn't care since I'm not built as a provider. And if they get to know me, they would naturally learn more personal details about me because he wants to be involved and improve my life.
Very true! And if they come out with this question straight away or keep mentioning your work non stop it's a bad sign! Also if they ask questions like are you a homeowner.. My ex was trying to find a Barbara the builder and I caught him asking all these telltale questions!!
@@annierosser47 🤣 I laugh at men and ask why would I buy a house, I'm not married? Men are supposed to put a woman in a house so she can make it a home.. I would never tell a man I own any property or substantial assets.
@@icu5533 I tell them I live with my mother. It's true 😂 And same. I won't buy a house until I'm married. And even then I won't be buying it the husband will ✌️
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
Women are natural receivers, so if you aren't "giving" to us as a complete man (protection & provision), you won't "get" the beautiful gifts a woman has to offer (legacy & healing feminine energy).
These "gifts" can also leave a marriage anytime they aren't happy. Cry rape when they change their minds of the walk of shame. They can #metoo you, stat a domestic dispute, and give false allegations with no consequences. These beautiful gifts can collect alimony, child support, and never go to jail for non payment. Theses gifts don't know a single recipe, and are working hard so cleaning something is just slavery. These delicate gifts wear a ring, chop their hair ( ravin), get fat, and attend Hillary rallies.
This is what THEY tell US. Shoot, they stand by their values. Men say "I'm not your friend, ma'am. This aint' no friend zone. You need to nurture me physically and take care of my biological needs."
@@evaphillips2102 It's okay. I was agreeing with Shera and your comment as well. I am very direct when I speak due to having had to fight for a lot of things. A lot of people do view me as "negative" due to that. I am the most joyful, joyfilled person most people would meet and I do become passionate over my beliefs. I view my comment as spreading positive things, but each has her own perspective as it should be.
@@fearless7989 It’s all good hun, I understand. It takes guts to be honest and strength to take it. They definitely do say this, but I’ve always said that I want to marry my best friend. So friendship is a requirement if you want to go any further, however I’m not your GUY friend.
The part about women not respecting a man because he’s too dumb/or not trusted is 💯 Nothing is more off putting than when you as a woman have to plan ahead for your family’s future, think about finances, a roof over your head etc. ladies before you get married REALLY look for a man who has INTELLIGENCE, emotional intelligence and treats you like a queen.
Shera no other woman has ever loved me as much as you loved me 🥰 all other women have been out for themselves or giving terrible advice that puts women down. You awaken the goddess in me. You are truly a beacon of inspiration, love, and divinity!
I’m not building with a man, I’ll build my own thing. Building with a man will change the dynamics of a relationship , into a roommate situation. The women is likely not see him as man of the house. If he is depending on my checks to survive our relationship isn’t going to work. Because what happens when you have baby, you have to leave the work force.
Oh no no no, see feminism says you can do everything a man can do. You get that butt out there and make as much as us men. Keep building those homes, fixing those cars, waking up to check on hearing a bump in the night. You can do it all.
@@mtbiker4life918 we can do everything men can do but the problem is feminism will never remove men’s egos 😢, it doesn't matter how hard a woman works men always want to control us😢😢, I started to make money when I was 10 years, therefore, I'm very an independent 💃because of this I never had a bf, I found out men are afraid of a hard-working woman, so to balance things once I'm in a marriage I want to be a housewife because of my independent character if I try to work while in marriage, I won't be submissive to my husband and I'm sure he won't like it.
05:10 - 05:40 Verrry important My cousins partner lost his teaching job and she was the breadwinner for a while, she "proudly" took care of everything and he's never gone back to work ... Even when she lost her job he still expects her to take care of most of their bills. She's become so resentful and angry and shouts all the time don't be like my cousin.
There is still hope for your cousin. She needs to act like she can't handle her teaching job anymore or she's getting attention from other male teachers at the job. Her lazy husband will step up real quick.
A real man takes action. The feminine ones love to talk without executing. Real men have several streams of income and provides for the present and future. Not hand to mouth living.
My boyfriend’s sister over heard a conversation my bf and I were having about him taking me to Europe. She pipes up to say that her and her boyfriend each pay their own way when they travel and he pays for her “dinner” lol. Her and her boyfriend are both doctors. She’s pushing 40, they’ve been dating since COLLEGE…. and she wants to get married and have babies and he’s stringing her along. It’s very obvious to me why he makes her pay half on vacations and other things that he can more than afford…. but she wants to dole out financial relationship advice 🙄. Ok Barbara lol.
@@BK-tp6jf exactly, they’re not happy in their relationships and they want other women to operate the same way so they’ll feel more justified in being used “because everyone’s doing it”.
I literally had this conversation with a dusty man a month ago. I told him that I won’t ever build with a man and that I never hear a man of means ask a woman, “what does she bring to the table?” I told him I only bring my presence. He got sooooo mad and tried to make me feel bad about what I said. Then proceeds to say that I’m only going to get used for s3x and that’s it. I told him he can go back to what he’s used to because I don’t do 50-50, I don’t build, I don’t do nothing but show up! If you can’t afford me, then stay out my inbox. Needless to say, he’s still in my inbox til this day. Personally, I think he’s intrigued 🤦🏽♀️😩
@@BlackEnchantress girl exactly! Trying to make me feel bad meanwhile, he’s on IG posting drunk pics and making statuses, asking people to sell him food stamps! 🤦🏽♀️🤣🤣
I saw a video of a babe giving advice on how to be a stay at home girlfriend and women didn't get it 🤦🏿 The "what happens when he leaves" "Your wig should look better with all that money" "I'd rather be independent" I'm super glad I found this channel and the community of like-minded women in the comments 😊 This was of course Twitter
@@SimplyM316 I’m actually an investor. I hold multiple commercial real estate properties and I also have a few profitable businesses. I sometimes view RUclips as a mindless thing to do for leisure just to allow my self some dumb fun time. However, I’m still not sure of what good book you read and I’m not here to debate that. All I know is that the one I read says men are to work by the sweat of their brow and woman will bear children in pain. That comes after Adam and Eve disobeyed. Men are protectors and providers as they should be, so I allow my Husband of 20 years to do just that. My income is just extra. I save, invest and spend on whatever the hell I want, as I should. I would love to keep conversing with you but I have to work out now. Thanks for the mindless interaction tho, it’s been fun lol
I’ve watched shera since varsity and I was doing great, now 3 years after varsity I’m lacking, becoming a bob the builder. I had to come back to watch her to get straight
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
I am so glad to hear this. I commented on a different video, but I had this discussion with some other women I knew. They thought I was crazy and living in a fantasy. I told them that I don't want a man leaning on me, but they accused me of wanting to lean on him. One of them has a husband retired from the military who offered to let her stay home. She chose to work to have her own spending money, but thought I was ludicrous. Some women don't want other women to have it good like they did. Plus, many people both men and women, use the pandemic and rising cost of living as an excuse to help these men. I would rather run barefoot on hot asphalt than to take care of a man. If that is all that I have to choose from, I would rather stay single.
You are totally right. I saw a comment that talks about her friend is getting a divorce after 1 year of marriage.. Since the lockdown was done, a lot of low cost marriage blow up.. literally penny pinching.. and the men literally paid half of that since the wife gave them the other half in order to "help".. And she married a man that did food rider thing.. he wasnt prepared at all for a marriage.. no money, no savings, no plans, no future.. and they lived at his mom's place too.. Now they have a child together and she wants to be divorced.. she destroyed her life in just 1 year and now have a baby to provide for.. She was doing well being alone until society taught women to be a sacrificial lamb and a martyr.. and married someone and wanting to "build" a lazy man.. What a waste.. He lived so well with pennies at his mom's.. and then have a lover by his side.. Why would he change at all.. he got everything at such a bargain.. almost free..
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
Hopefully it will never happen to you again. I was in this situation once at 26 and another time at 32. The second time I had firmer boundaries but they still tried to push my boundaries by screaming at me to be more supportive of them. Support yourself loser! Never pay for a lazy loser dumb man. It still gives me the creeps just thinking about it.
Bravo!!! I am almost 60. I instinctively had this stance, tried to implement it and was never successful, as there was really no forum of support or a voice for this truth in the past. I was never a doormat, and was the primary provider in all my major relationships, nevertheless, ultimately unsatisfying and empty. In the recent past, a woman was just considered a "feminist" for standing ground. Like a woman should feel guilty for employing a fraction of the self preservation men employ regularly, and at the expense of women, I might add. This opens a huge dialog for me, lol. Thanks so much for your intelligent, uncompromisingly correct advice! I echo your sentiments and implore all young women to embrace this mentality of true equality!
Astar: 👍🏾 *I* could have written your post. And, I try to tell *single* black woman that will stand still long enough to hear me, to *date* *out* ! And, black guys that hear me, *lose* *their* *minds* . Although, the young black women are pretty much a step ahead, they're *already* dating out. The older women take more convincing, or just really need "permission". And, don't even respond to the men that lay up on the internet, IN WOMEN'S SPACES, trying to demean/degrade you. If these men were about anything, they would *definitely* NOT have time to do this! Can you imagine how stupid they feel when they've gone out of their way to insult a woman and all they get for their efforts are... the "crickets" High value men, don't do this! They don't have *time* to do this.
15:00 AGREED! If I have to work a job or I’m struggling what do I need him for? I also don’t like asking I feel like they should just be giving equally for what their wanting. The fact that men like to test and see what they can get away with, makes me handle them brutally and feel no sympathy. If the shoes was on the other foot I know for certain they wouldn’t feel sorry for me.
You are a game changer shera, never had as many high potentials and I feel like I’m just getting warmed up. I refuse to date a man who isn’t an all around asset and I’ll never be a maid 😇. It’s time to level all the way up ⬆️
This guy was at first saying ooooh I always felt like I gave more to the relationship with women(monetary and he wanted gifts too) so I said sooo you want gifts. Then he was like it takes two incomes now a days Me on the phone: Silence Him: Imma roll up my sleeves and get my hands dirty and she gotta get her hands dirty too Me on the phone: Silence Me: So you want help Him: Not per say maybe 60/40 or 70/30 Me on the phone: Still Silent Me: Oh well Im not the one for you.
A guy I was recently dating said the same thing to me about he likes to do 70/30 if the women is working full time because now a days the government want two incomes from a household . And I told him Nar I don’t do that it’s 100% or nothing and he tried to make me feel bad for it Lool 😂😂I didn’t care and I’m not lowering my standards for no dusty . He literally made his ex that he was living with have his child do 70/30 and couldn’t even tend to the child as much when she had work . Then he told me he wanted another kid from her but she kept refusing so that is one of the reasons for the breakup . He also bought the house that they were renting but didn’t put her name on the deed and said that was one of the reasons she was mad .but he doesn’t know why she was mad he claimed . Furthermore he boast a lot about the house he bought and other things . I was thinking if you have all this money why would you make the mother of your child work full time ,take care of a child and do 70/30 he’s mad . In my opinion he was only able to buy that house because of her if she wasent paying part of the rent he wouldn’t have been able to afford it . They were also together for 11 years so you can tell she built him up . I can see why she would be mad he didn’t put her name on the house so I don’t know why he’s tryna act like the victim . He never married her either & he was telling me how he wants me to have his child I told him straight up I don’t have kids with someone I’m not married to . He proceeded to tell me he dosent believe in marriage that’s when the red flags started to show and I knew this man was not it . I feel like he’s looking for another version of his ex because she was not standing for his bullshit anymore . He also told me he wants a woman he can build with and dosent really like the traditional ways of things I was like hell narrr 😂I’m young not dumb . At first I thought he was cool cuz he took me on a date and was doing the gentlemen things & was also quick to spend his money . But he sees me and knows I’m high value and not a cheap women . So I know he’s only doing that to reel me in then introduce 50/50 or his stupid 70/30 to me . I’m not interested and will not be fooled get your money up son.
And you gotta be willing to walk away when a provider tries to play games. Dealing with that now. I Work hard and he got money so why am I with him. Bye. I’m the doghouse you go. Time to level up the beauty, femininity and wiles. I’m desired.
Nothing is wrong with making your own money just don’t take care of no man make sure he is the one spending but always have your own so you don’t have to lick any man s butt or put up with any bs for anything you can do what you want !
Phase 4 of the Elixir…I have a goal. I have no need to be rude or explain myself because my mind already has the solution. Eventually I’m finding out…if I don’t bend people do. If they don’t bend the go…and they needed to go! The elixirs are worth every penny!
Shera can you do a video on when the guys mother is a Barbara the builder? This has been a big problem in dating for me. They expect me to be like their mother and provide for myself 🤮 I told him if I'm gonna provide for myself I might aswell stay by myself!!! I asked my bf to pay for some dental work for me because I couldn't afford it at the time. I found texts on his phone where he was complaining to his mother that I had asked. She told him "say no it's not your dental work". Wtf is this mindset? And why is Barbara the builder getting jealous if her son pays for something for me? Blows my mind that these women encourage their sons to NOT provide for their girlfriends!!!! 😳😡
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
Facts sis you build him up to go be with The next woman don’t play yourself like that I’m building with myself they start to feel themselves when the money start coming in in lump sums
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
So yes it's nature. I had a guy recently want me to literally build a house with him. I was shocked when heard that on the phone! I was like I don't know how to do that lol, he was like we can learn.
After reading all the comments it is so apparent that so many of us have suffered from this. I too experienced this with my Ex and the envy and jealousy tore the whole thing down when he saw I brought more to the table. I learned too much from the experience and took away a lot of industry know how from him (hence his ego trip) but I am grateful. I learned my worth through this and a few other lessons (dumb fish) after him. We all need to raise the bar because this actually trickles down and as Lauren Hill said "everything is everything" .. The pandemic we are seeing with these young Black boys/men unable to realize their highest self as divine masculine it is connected to the fact that women who experience this are typically seeking to heal negative male relationships like Daddy issues etc. The problem is we lower our standard for them in effort to mend or fill a void, lacking strong healthy masculine energy is also very prevalent and that is why young boys have no strong Black role models and have turned to their guns, gangs and violence to appease their need to belong and become. The other side to this is that many Black women have set extremely high standards after messing with a low quality man and thus some of those men have decided they are not longer attracted to Black women because we are supposedly "too hard, too rude, have too many expectations, too extra, too loud just overall too much". Although we preach "love who you love" I dated a man (after my ex) who is a serial baby maker and all his children's mothers are Non-Black but yet he comes to me to help him build his business, wanted me to use my position to address his political issues and yet outright didn't want a relationship, didn't want to provide and thought he was an Alpha male. Hilarious but at the same time not funny at all. I learned most of these men want my job and it taught me even deeper insight with my own son as he is now 16 moving into manhood. Our relationship is changing because he now is competing with me, my own son. This issue of "building" is terrible and plaguing our community the most. We need to do better! RAISE THE BAR
That's really weird. Why is your son competing with you or feel the need to compete with his own mother who is a woman and nurturer? Are there not any positive male figures in his life to teach him about his masculinity, and how to lead? Men compete with men , not women. I challenge you to go deeper sit your son down teach him or put him around positive healthy male figures he can naturally compete with.
A guy wanted me to move in asked me to go halves on a loft conversion trying to dress it up all pretty to say it was for our benefit. A loft conversion is about £20, 000 I'm like ..NO.
Lmaooo this guy asked me the same thing. We just started dating and he asked if I’d go half on a condo. Chile please I didn’t want no condo tf I’m gone get one for you for😂
Glad I came across your channel today. Your insights make sense, especially with these guys running around taking about how they want a feminine woman. 💅👠
My wife got with me when I was on a bike going through a divorce, with children. I make 20,000 more than her a year now because she helped me. Now I am helping her go back to school.
@@Rainbows1111 then you "lose" your job and cash in on your investment (her education) having her take care of you, the bills and your kids 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 Strategy unmatched, you are truly Shera's student 😊
1:49:40 @SheraSeven most of these blue collar dudes are dusty when I comes to growing a business. After their shift they clock out physically and mentally. Bosses/Providers strategize 5-15 years out. These dusties don't have the acumen to have more than one stream of income
This was a very informative video. I hope one day you do a video speaking on the expectations a male provider wants when giving a woman this level of comfort.
Are you even in a position to be able to do that? I see so many comments about what these “high value men” expect of women and most of them don’t even have their own homes.
@@mystix4317 😆 My apologies if you took my post as a threat or opposition. To be quite honest I am not a 6 figure man. I just want to hear a woman's perspective of those men at that stature. I actually agree with a lot of things she said on this thread. I don't like my woman helping me with anything financial other then making sure all the bills are paid when I send finances to her account. And yes, I have a home and it's paid off.
@@mystix4317: 👍🏾💯 "High value men" don't have time for this. They're either producing or relaxing. And, when they relax, please believe, that it's not on RUclips trolling *women's* spaces. These are the "men" that live on their mom's couches and get mad when her boyfriend spends the night/weekend.
@@kawi_theincenseman I think provider men expect their wives to be attractive and feminine. Not one of the guys. Agreeable (not a doormat though). An attentive mother. Kind. You get the picture. It's difficult for a woman to be these things if she has to be a workhorse 40 hours a week building another man's dream. Some woman "might" be able to pull it off. I couldn't, hard as I tried.
@@ritasjourney Thanks for actually answering the question And not attacking me as though you know me personally. And ladies you would be surprised what men are in here listening to you talk.
How do you keep a man from being stolen ? Don’t date that type of man !! Certain type of men are predisposed to that and we’ll be everything he wants and you don’t want to do that you want to be who you want to be dump him and find a better man ! Always have options
This is good advice. Any man asking what do you do for work?is red flag. I am more looking for a christian man and but I find that most of them cannot always provide, I guess like you say look for someone with a good income, most time we are taught to overlook money and look at the qualities only, but that could be hard if he is having a hard time. I do not want a sugar daddy because they are looking to hook up, the majority of these old man I came across seem to not have it all or is very sickly and mainly looking for a free caregiver. That is not a sugar daddy. But like you said if the money is right on the women end then it much better to have qualities guys with money.
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
You still look amazing! Your a smart woman & you really do have a logical perspective on how to approach marriage. My husband does not pay all my bills & I admit, I am a Barbara the Builder. However, he took me on with two kids. We do have a child together but he works hard & I know he ain't leaving 😂. Either way, I do agree I would much RATHER be a stay at home wife/mom.
Previous kids or not, you are still and always the prize. Never feel less then. He knows your worth wich is why he married you. Do you know your worth? Best of luck, dear🥂
There isn't an abundance of such men out there. Y'all better be ready to out compete your fellow sisters to catch the few top men. Most men are average earners and some of y'all aren't even that good looking to start with. It's all in your heads but reality will reveal itself sooner or later
@@ELLIOT8209 those that went before us built with men only to get nothing in return and constantly be degraded in favour for gold diggers. We are not doing that anymore and many of us know marriage can be a scam for women without financial benefits.
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys-Impalas, no starter cars, all Top Shelf type. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
You are right. One couple split after she made him rich.. she built his company and she and him was a power couple.. and then she built her own successful company too.. She is rich as well.. And he left her.. he felt emasculated.. and she always kinda unknowingly rub in his face that she was there when he was zero.. and she "helped".. she "paid".. it was all her money.. From a marketing perspective the story is a best seller.. it was the backbone to their brand.. Zero to heroes.. But from feminine and masculine dynamic.. he always feel small.. she is the star.. the moon.. and the sun.. and she always quick to remind everyone how much she helped.. and keep helping everyday.. and she literally made him rich and successful.. The divorce is super messy now.. Its sad.. She is beautiful and extremely smart.. But she lost so much money and still losing money paying for lawyers.. and he kept his and used hers.. he literally paid the bare minimum.. like rent and few bills here and there.. 😂 man.. I was so pissed when she told her story.. She is literally barbara and pick me.. its sad..
I feel like this advice is so hard to follow especially if you are in your early 20s and literally own nothing and have never seen money in your life. I was like this. Now almost 30, I'm starting to see the applicability. But although it should be easier when you are younger for outer beauty reasons, it is often not
Most young women don't have the mindset and were not brought up correctly. Only a tiny percentage have that mentality at such a young age. Not to mention the emotional roller coaster ride with the hormones. It's a skill...
I won't settle for a broke man. I have my life together and am very content on being single. There's a man chasing me. He has his life together and texts me everyday and sends me 💗 in the text messages. He's not offering me anything else and so I don't respond with a 💗. If he's not interested in courting me and taking me out, I have no time. I may respond with thank you for thinking of me have a nice day 😊 and leave it alone. I'm not emotionally invested in him. He can text me, I'm not showing any feelings because I have none for any man.
@jessicahitchens6926 No, he's not a teenager. He's just a platonic friend who wants to take it to the next level. I don't want to get involved because I don't want to have sex outside of a marriage commitment. No man in today's world wants to live up to that standard and so I just gave up. 🤷♀️
I believe you know a man is husband material when you naturally want to help him. I don’t think he’ll ask you to but it wouldn’t matter because you’ll want to join him in the world he’s built or is building.
Are u new here. You are never to build with a man. If your presence doesn't inspire. Jump and pass. He's a Dusty. Go build yourself and your business for you and your future children.
@@gktginglobal1040 I’m not new here. I’ve just healed enough since I started watching these videos to be able to take what I can use from Shera and leave what doesn’t work. Since then I’ve had a lot more success with qualified men. I didn’t say carry the load for him I said HELP him. Some of these men work so hard they forget to take care of themself, they forget to go to the doctor and get check ups. Some of them are socially awkward, some of them just need a woman to listen to him. If you care about someone than you should be happy to show them, no matter what might happen. Otherwise, are you sure you want to be someone who approaches love from the place of checks and balances? Sounds exhausting and lonely.
“If your wife is not at home with a teacup doing her hair and makeup, on a Tuesday you are not Alpha bye”
heavy on a Tuesday !! My hairstylist always says her richest clients or those who tip the most were her tuesdays & wednesdays clients. I thought it wouldve been on Thursdays & Fridays because of payday but nope! But looking back it all makes sense because when I was working for a high end department store the days of the week they made the most money were always on mondays,tuesdays & wednesdays.
Yes that pretty much sums it up
🙌
@@vturner that's so interesting
☝️☝️☝️✨✨✨
Please ladies protect your wombs! No wedding no womb! Dusties will knock you up intentionally with no intent to marry you.
💥 if your life got harder when you got married- you married wrong
Yes mam ...mine did...and I'm out of that crap..
@@angelofthemosthigh7292 same here can’t wait for my divorce
Facts
@@angelofthemosthigh7292 this is so sad
@@HairbyNardia people have married for centuries and built something together.
I dated a guy and things were great until he launched a company (something we both were passionate about) and he wanted me to run it. We wanted to be a “power couple” in our industry. Needless to say, it didn’t work. That was the worst relationship of my life. The dynamic changed tremendously because Business effects the personal. By the end, I lost respect for him and looked at him as an incompetent man with a ridiculously huge ego. I lost all respect for him and knew he’d be nothing without me. Once he started gaining attention , he felt like he “made me”. Lol the audacity of him to ever part his lips to utter such nonsense. I cursed him and that business and made a vow that Im never “building” with a man again. Way too many dynamics. I would much rather build my own, Let him build his own and we can come together as two entities. I’ve concluded that My only job as a woman is to compliment my man with my presence and essence. That’s all.
It's great that you learned the lesson meant for you. So many women are walking around here clueless and trying way to hard.
I did this too, I was doing most of the work for his business... and we were not on the road to a marriage anytime soon.... I jumped off the cliff when he said "what makes you think you deserve the rent to be paid in our new place? usually people are married before that happens.." ----TUHHH! the nerve! Usually people are married before they build businesses together too huh? Usually people are married before the woman gives you a loan for $4500...Yeah never again.
You knew he would be nothing without you? You do realize narcs say that stuff. You wanted the business too but you blame it all on him? Please get help for your personality disorder.
@@ladybird491 exactly and she will never marry correctly.. u don’t come together to be 2 entities.. the two become one..
@@oneofone7108 lol If you don’t know what it means for you and your man to both make your own name for yourselves just say that. Some women appreciate their own recognition rather living in their husband’s shadow.
Good men will tell a woman NEVER to build with a man in poverty… NEVER! This man on the internet once said that it’s one of the dumbest things he sees black women do and they sell themselves short. He said the things that you as a woman is going to provide in that relationship, will surpass what he will be able to offer you. And if you give this man children, it’s game over, because you’ve given him something he can never repay back… a legacy. These broke men with mics on the internet will intimate you with disparaging words and aggression. They will attack your looks, education, and character so you can stoop down low for one of them. They want to convince a woman making $90K a year that she should be led by a man making $25K a year. A man who cannot financially take care of you in this day and age is not worthy of your time. Throw that beta back in the fishbowl.
OMG!! You are so right. I wish i heard your words 22 years ago.
Thanks for your wisdom.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Yes, good men will let you go.
YASSSS QUEEN’
If a man ever asks me what I do/what's my profession, I tell him as little as possible. My father told me men shouldn't be asking me that and they shouldn't care since I'm not built as a provider. And if they get to know me, they would naturally learn more personal details about me because he wants to be involved and improve my life.
Very true! And if they come out with this question straight away or keep mentioning your work non stop it's a bad sign! Also if they ask questions like are you a homeowner..
My ex was trying to find a Barbara the builder and I caught him asking all these telltale questions!!
@@annierosser47 🤣
I laugh at men and ask why would I buy a house, I'm not married? Men are supposed to put a woman in a house so she can make it a home.. I would never tell a man I own any property or substantial assets.
@@icu5533 I tell them I live with my mother. It's true 😂
And same. I won't buy a house until I'm married. And even then I won't be buying it the husband will ✌️
Great Rozena "a bird 🐦 in the hand is worth more than 50 in the bushes 🌴: that's old folks talk, means a promise ain't/isn't sh ..."
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
Women are natural receivers, so if you aren't "giving" to us as a complete man (protection & provision), you won't "get" the beautiful gifts a woman has to offer (legacy & healing feminine energy).
🎯
Well said .
You do know those gifts are passed around like candy now?. Plus they start to smell, and bleed every month.
@@mtbiker4life918 the fact that you think that’s all the “gift” is 🤦🏽♀️… Clearly emotionally immature with your response
These "gifts" can also leave a marriage anytime they aren't happy. Cry rape when they change their minds of the walk of shame. They can #metoo you, stat a domestic dispute, and give false allegations with no consequences. These beautiful gifts can collect alimony, child support, and never go to jail for non payment. Theses gifts don't know a single recipe, and are working hard so cleaning something is just slavery. These delicate gifts wear a ring, chop their hair ( ravin), get fat, and attend Hillary rallies.
“I’m not your friend sir, you need to take care of me.” Facts facts FACTS with love lmaoo
This is what THEY tell US. Shoot, they stand by their values. Men say "I'm not your friend, ma'am. This aint' no friend zone. You need to nurture me physically and take care of my biological needs."
@@fearless7989 Never heard anything like that. But I start putting outfits together in my head when negative people talk😉
@@evaphillips2102 It's okay. I was agreeing with Shera and your comment as well. I am very direct when I speak due to having had to fight for a lot of things. A lot of people do view me as "negative" due to that. I am the most joyful, joyfilled person most people would meet and I do become passionate over my beliefs. I view my comment as spreading positive things, but each has her own perspective as it should be.
@@fearless7989 It’s all good hun, I understand. It takes guts to be honest and strength to take it. They definitely do say this, but I’ve always said that I want to marry my best friend. So friendship is a requirement if you want to go any further, however I’m not your GUY friend.
@@evaphillips2102 Well said dear.
The part about women not respecting a man because he’s too dumb/or not trusted is 💯
Nothing is more off putting than when you as a woman have to plan ahead for your family’s future, think about finances, a roof over your head etc. ladies before you get married REALLY look for a man who has INTELLIGENCE, emotional intelligence and treats you like a queen.
Here here!
So true!
If you want to claim me, claim these bills!” Shera 😭❤️🤛🏼
Well said sister!
One night stand claim.
real
Shera no other woman has ever loved me as much as you loved me 🥰 all other women have been out for themselves or giving terrible advice that puts women down. You awaken the goddess in me. You are truly a beacon of inspiration, love, and divinity!
How sweet 💞
I’m not building with a man, I’ll build my own thing. Building with a man will change the dynamics of a relationship , into a roommate situation. The women is likely not see him as man of the house. If he is depending on my checks to survive our relationship isn’t going to work. Because what happens when you have baby, you have to leave the work force.
Oh no no no, see feminism says you can do everything a man can do. You get that butt out there and make as much as us men. Keep building those homes, fixing those cars, waking up to check on hearing a bump in the night. You can do it all.
@@mtbiker4life918 we can do everything men can do but the problem is feminism will never remove men’s egos 😢, it doesn't matter how hard a woman works men always want to control us😢😢, I started to make money when I was 10 years, therefore, I'm very an independent 💃because of this I never had a bf, I found out men are afraid of a hard-working woman, so to balance things once I'm in a marriage I want to be a housewife because of my independent character if I try to work while in marriage, I won't be submissive to my husband and I'm sure he won't like it.
05:10 - 05:40 Verrry important
My cousins partner lost his teaching job and she was the breadwinner for a while, she "proudly" took care of everything and he's never gone back to work ... Even when she lost her job he still expects her to take care of most of their bills. She's become so resentful and angry and shouts all the time don't be like my cousin.
❤
POS man.
She should leave him.
There is still hope for your cousin. She needs to act like she can't handle her teaching job anymore or she's getting attention from other male teachers at the job. Her lazy husband will step up real quick.
I am your cousin pray for her
A real man takes action. The feminine ones love to talk without executing. Real men have several streams of income and provides for the present and future. Not hand to mouth living.
My boyfriend’s sister over heard a conversation my bf and I were having about him taking me to Europe. She pipes up to say that her and her boyfriend each pay their own way when they travel and he pays for her “dinner” lol. Her and her boyfriend are both doctors. She’s pushing 40, they’ve been dating since COLLEGE…. and she wants to get married and have babies and he’s stringing her along. It’s very obvious to me why he makes her pay half on vacations and other things that he can more than afford…. but she wants to dole out financial relationship advice 🙄. Ok Barbara lol.
That's sad, I don't understand how a man can allow his sister to be treated like that.
@@BK-tp6jf exactly, they’re not happy in their relationships and they want other women to operate the same way so they’ll feel more justified in being used “because everyone’s doing it”.
@Sarah Conway yes he’s amazing 🥰❤️
She's trippin' 😅
I bet he has paid off all his student loan just by being 50/50 with her. He's sounding like he's preparing for the next phase of his life
You have not told a word of a lie. Honestly. Not ever. Keep going, we need this.
I literally had this conversation with a dusty man a month ago. I told him that I won’t ever build with a man and that I never hear a man of means ask a woman, “what does she bring to the table?” I told him I only bring my presence. He got sooooo mad and tried to make me feel bad about what I said. Then proceeds to say that I’m only going to get used for s3x and that’s it.
I told him he can go back to what he’s used to because I don’t do 50-50, I don’t build, I don’t do nothing but show up! If you can’t afford me, then stay out my inbox.
Needless to say, he’s still in my inbox til this day. Personally, I think he’s intrigued 🤦🏽♀️😩
Have you bagged(married) a provider though? Getting pumped and dumped by alphas whilst shitting on betas is counter productive.
@Me very!! 🤣🤣
😂😂😂 You put that Ninja in his place, he knew exactly what he was tryna do. Ninjas think they're slick nowadays we women are onto their games.
Shera said it herself. These men say they hate "gold diggers" but will keep bothering them instead of going to pick me women
@@BlackEnchantress girl exactly! Trying to make me feel bad meanwhile, he’s on IG posting drunk pics and making statuses, asking people to sell him food stamps! 🤦🏽♀️🤣🤣
She said, “Money is cuter!”😉
💯✅♀️♥️🔥💃🤗
I have to be the man I want to be to have the woman I want to have. It’s that simple. Emotional intelligence is key.
yup!
😉
I want to argue but I can't. All a real man needs is encouragement from our women I got the physical part like when I'm down remind me who I am
Amen❤️
💛
Love this ❤️
King
Oh please in the blk community yeah right🤣😂😃😆😆
I saw a video of a babe giving advice on how to be a stay at home girlfriend and women didn't get it 🤦🏿
The "what happens when he leaves"
"Your wig should look better with all that money" "I'd rather be independent" I'm super glad I found this channel and the community of like-minded women in the comments 😊
This was of course Twitter
@@MsDestinydiva I couldn't have said it better myself
So you want to be a stay at home wife? Some woman have goals and dreams. God didn't put us here to just be a mans wife.
@i am just simply Me you must don’t read the bible
mommygoodlife maybe your a stay at home mum lol not for everyone
@@SimplyM316 I’m actually an investor. I hold multiple commercial real estate properties and I also have a few profitable businesses. I sometimes view RUclips as a mindless thing to do for leisure just to allow my self some dumb fun time. However, I’m still not sure of what good book you read and I’m not here to debate that. All I know is that the one I read says men are to work by the sweat of their brow and woman will bear children in pain. That comes after Adam and Eve disobeyed. Men are protectors and providers as they should be, so I allow my Husband of 20 years to do just that. My income is just extra. I save, invest and spend on whatever the hell I want, as I should. I would love to keep conversing with you but I have to work out now. Thanks for the mindless interaction tho, it’s been fun lol
I’ve watched shera since varsity and I was doing great, now 3 years after varsity I’m lacking, becoming a bob the builder. I had to come back to watch her to get straight
Love the classic old Hollywood hairstyle today.
Wish someone had told me this when I was in my teens/20s… I will certainly teach my daughter better ✨💜✨
Great Rozena "a bird 🐦 in the hand is worth more than 50 in the bushes 🌴: that's old folks talk, means a promise ain't/isn't sh ..."
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
Two videos of Shera a day keeps the duties away 💯
I am so glad to hear this. I commented on a different video, but I had this discussion with some other women I knew. They thought I was crazy and living in a fantasy. I told them that I don't want a man leaning on me, but they accused me of wanting to lean on him. One of them has a husband retired from the military who offered to let her stay home. She chose to work to have her own spending money, but thought I was ludicrous. Some women don't want other women to have it good like they did. Plus, many people both men and women, use the pandemic and rising cost of living as an excuse to help these men. I would rather run barefoot on hot asphalt than to take care of a man. If that is all that I have to choose from, I would rather stay single.
You are totally right. I saw a comment that talks about her friend is getting a divorce after 1 year of marriage..
Since the lockdown was done, a lot of low cost marriage blow up.. literally penny pinching.. and the men literally paid half of that since the wife gave them the other half in order to "help"..
And she married a man that did food rider thing.. he wasnt prepared at all for a marriage.. no money, no savings, no plans, no future.. and they lived at his mom's place too..
Now they have a child together and she wants to be divorced.. she destroyed her life in just 1 year and now have a baby to provide for..
She was doing well being alone until society taught women to be a sacrificial lamb and a martyr.. and married someone and wanting to "build" a lazy man..
What a waste..
He lived so well with pennies at his mom's.. and then have a lover by his side..
Why would he change at all.. he got everything at such a bargain.. almost free..
Yup put yourself first! Don’t share accounts and hide your money ladies! I’ve learned you cannot trust these guys!
I always tell ladies to always ALWAYS have a rainy day fund. That he doesn’t know about.
I’m 24 and literally just got out of a relationship like this! NEVER AGAIN. It’s so hard rebuilding myself when I literally funded his whole life.
Great Rozena "a bird 🐦 in the hand is worth more than 50 in the bushes 🌴: that's old folks talk, means a promise ain't/isn't sh ..."
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
@@shellynwillis4342 that’s what I’ve always seen for myself! Lesson learned for sure
Hopefully it will never happen to you again. I was in this situation once at 26 and another time at 32. The second time I had firmer boundaries but they still tried to push my boundaries by screaming at me to be more supportive of them. Support yourself loser! Never pay for a lazy loser dumb man. It still gives me the creeps just thinking about it.
You’ve got this
Building for self. “Playing Bob The Builder Will Get You Left At The Construction Site.” -taking 📝
Bravo!!! I am almost 60. I instinctively had this stance, tried to implement it and was never successful, as there was really no forum of support or a voice for this truth in the past. I was never a doormat, and was the primary provider in all my major relationships, nevertheless, ultimately unsatisfying and empty.
In the recent past, a woman was just considered a "feminist" for standing ground. Like a woman should feel guilty for employing a fraction of the self preservation men employ regularly, and at the expense of women, I might add. This opens a huge dialog for me, lol. Thanks so much for your intelligent, uncompromisingly correct advice! I echo your sentiments and implore all young women to embrace this mentality of true equality!
Graveyard advice
Oh I see, these two are trolling me for that loser Jesse Hughes who has been stalking me for 12+ years
Astar: 👍🏾 *I* could have written your post. And, I try to tell *single* black woman that will stand still long enough to hear me, to *date* *out* ! And, black guys that hear me, *lose* *their* *minds* . Although, the young black women are pretty much a step ahead, they're *already* dating out. The older women take more convincing, or just really need "permission". And, don't even respond to the men that lay up on the internet, IN WOMEN'S SPACES, trying to demean/degrade you. If these men were about anything, they would *definitely* NOT have time to do this! Can you imagine how stupid they feel when they've gone out of their way to insult a woman and all they get for their efforts are... the "crickets" High value men, don't do this! They don't have *time* to do this.
Thank you for sharing this. I feel the 50 50 is so very encouraged these days.
15:00 AGREED! If I have to work a job or I’m struggling what do I need him for? I also don’t like asking I feel like they should just be giving equally for what their wanting. The fact that men like to test and see what they can get away with, makes me handle them brutally and feel no sympathy. If the shoes was on the other foot I know for certain they wouldn’t feel sorry for me.
facts. we gotta dog these men
@@user-qk2th5gr3d Lets make ‘em cry!
@@sagittariusblack2879 period! I love you haha
You are a game changer shera, never had as many high potentials and I feel like I’m just getting warmed up. I refuse to date a man who isn’t an all around asset and I’ll never be a maid 😇. It’s time to level all the way up ⬆️
Where are you meeting men?
@@kathleenjohnston3582 she ain’t meeting nobody 😂
@@kathleenjohnston3582 she's capping. 😂🤣 Jump offs and hook up ain't the same as marriage to a provider
Your natural hair is thick and beautiful. Looks healthy ❤️
This guy was at first saying ooooh I always felt like I gave more to the relationship with women(monetary and he wanted gifts too) so I said sooo you want gifts. Then he was like it takes two incomes now a days
Me on the phone: Silence
Him: Imma roll up my sleeves and get my hands dirty and she gotta get her hands dirty too
Me on the phone: Silence
Me: So you want help
Him: Not per say maybe 60/40 or 70/30
Me on the phone: Still Silent
Me: Oh well Im not the one for you.
don't do online dating
@@lisettecamejo4243 It doesn't matter a dusty is a dusty is a dusty they are everywhere
They ALWAYS use that excuse about 2 incomes. They also use the pandemic and rising cost of living as an excuse not to provide.
@@pinkblossomrose8072 they sure do. Smh. Or the famous..it takes two incomes it''s not 1950. No no sir you just don't make enough money.
A guy I was recently dating said the same thing to me about he likes to do 70/30 if the women is working full time because now a days the government want two incomes from a household . And I told him Nar I don’t do that it’s 100% or nothing and he tried to make me feel bad for it Lool 😂😂I didn’t care and I’m not lowering my standards for no dusty . He literally made his ex that he was living with have his child do 70/30 and couldn’t even tend to the child as much when she had work . Then he told me he wanted another kid from her but she kept refusing so that is one of the reasons for the breakup . He also bought the house that they were renting but didn’t put her name on the deed and said that was one of the reasons she was mad .but he doesn’t know why she was mad he claimed . Furthermore he boast a lot about the house he bought and other things . I was thinking if you have all this money why would you make the mother of your child work full time ,take care of a child and do 70/30 he’s mad . In my opinion he was only able to buy that house because of her if she wasent paying part of the rent he wouldn’t have been able to afford it . They were also together for 11 years so you can tell she built him up . I can see why she would be mad he didn’t put her name on the house so I don’t know why he’s tryna act like the victim . He never married her either & he was telling me how he wants me to have his child I told him straight up I don’t have kids with someone I’m not married to . He proceeded to tell me he dosent believe in marriage that’s when the red flags started to show and I knew this man was not it . I feel like he’s looking for another version of his ex because she was not standing for his bullshit anymore . He also told me he wants a woman he can build with and dosent really like the traditional ways of things I was like hell narrr 😂I’m young not dumb . At first I thought he was cool cuz he took me on a date and was doing the gentlemen things & was also quick to spend his money . But he sees me and knows I’m high value and not a cheap women . So I know he’s only doing that to reel me in then introduce 50/50 or his stupid 70/30 to me . I’m not interested and will not be fooled get your money up son.
And you gotta be willing to walk away when a provider tries to play games. Dealing with that now. I
Work hard and he got money so why am I with him. Bye. I’m the doghouse you go. Time to level up the beauty, femininity and wiles. I’m desired.
This pinup aesthetic on you> You look stunning 💗
Nothing is wrong with making your own money just don’t take care of no man make sure he is the one spending but always have your own so you don’t have to lick any man s butt or put up with any bs for anything you can do what you want !
💕❤️
Of course.
exactly!!
Phase 4 of the Elixir…I have a goal. I have no need to be rude or explain myself because my mind already has the solution. Eventually I’m finding out…if I don’t bend people do. If they don’t bend the go…and they needed to go!
The elixirs are worth every penny!
What is an elixir
I’m currently on phase 2 😊
We need a tutorial on the hair. Love it!
Shera can you do a video on when the guys mother is a Barbara the builder? This has been a big problem in dating for me. They expect me to be like their mother and provide for myself 🤮 I told him if I'm gonna provide for myself I might aswell stay by myself!!!
I asked my bf to pay for some dental work for me because I couldn't afford it at the time. I found texts on his phone where he was complaining to his mother that I had asked. She told him "say no it's not your dental work". Wtf is this mindset? And why is Barbara the builder getting jealous if her son pays for something for me? Blows my mind that these women encourage their sons to NOT provide for their girlfriends!!!! 😳😡
💯💯💯💯
That’s why girlfriend is not a status..
@@luckyluckylucky2261 how do you mean?
Great Rozena "a bird 🐦 in the hand is worth more than 50 in the bushes 🌴: that's old folks talk, means a promise ain't/isn't sh ..."
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
Thank you for the much needed "Wake TF UP" message!!!
Facts sis you build him up to go be with The next woman don’t play yourself like that I’m building with myself they start to feel themselves when the money start coming in in lump sums
Great Rozena "a bird 🐦 in the hand is worth more than 50 in the bushes 🌴: that's old folks talk, means a promise ain't/isn't sh ..."
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
I don’t care how cute they are cause money is cuter that’s so true lol
I love how you keep your content authentic.💕
Your hair is fire🔥! I love classic looks
Thats hairstyle is FIRE! 🔥
A female robin will not mate with a male robin until HE builds her a nest you have to be like the female robin
So yes it's nature. I had a guy recently want me to literally build a house with him. I was shocked when heard that on the phone! I was like I don't know how to do that lol, he was like we can learn.
Yep even the animals are smarter than most of us
She’s absolutely right love your hair Shera 🌹❤️
You shouldn’t be clocking in if he fittin’ in 😂😂
I almost fell out of my bed laughing
SOME OF THE STUFF U SAY SHERA OMG😹
😂👑
Right lol 😂
After reading all the comments it is so apparent that so many of us have suffered from this. I too experienced this with my Ex and the envy and jealousy tore the whole thing down when he saw I brought more to the table. I learned too much from the experience and took away a lot of industry know how from him (hence his ego trip) but I am grateful. I learned my worth through this and a few other lessons (dumb fish) after him. We all need to raise the bar because this actually trickles down and as Lauren Hill said "everything is everything" .. The pandemic we are seeing with these young Black boys/men unable to realize their highest self as divine masculine it is connected to the fact that women who experience this are typically seeking to heal negative male relationships like Daddy issues etc. The problem is we lower our standard for them in effort to mend or fill a void, lacking strong healthy masculine energy is also very prevalent and that is why young boys have no strong Black role models and have turned to their guns, gangs and violence to appease their need to belong and become. The other side to this is that many Black women have set extremely high standards after messing with a low quality man and thus some of those men have decided they are not longer attracted to Black women because we are supposedly "too hard, too rude, have too many expectations, too extra, too loud just overall too much". Although we preach "love who you love" I dated a man (after my ex) who is a serial baby maker and all his children's mothers are Non-Black but yet he comes to me to help him build his business, wanted me to use my position to address his political issues and yet outright didn't want a relationship, didn't want to provide and thought he was an Alpha male. Hilarious but at the same time not funny at all. I learned most of these men want my job and it taught me even deeper insight with my own son as he is now 16 moving into manhood. Our relationship is changing because he now is competing with me, my own son. This issue of "building" is terrible and plaguing our community the most. We need to do better! RAISE THE BAR
That's really weird. Why is your son competing with you or feel the need to compete with his own mother who is a woman and nurturer? Are there not any positive male figures in his life to teach him about his masculinity, and how to lead? Men compete with men , not women. I challenge you to go deeper sit your son down teach him or put him around positive healthy male figures he can naturally compete with.
Love your hair Shera it’s giving old school
shera your hair is always perfect 😍
Perfect timing
Thank you
Your Hair looks Great like that!!
A guy wanted me to move in asked me to go halves on a loft conversion trying to dress it up all pretty to say it was for our benefit. A loft conversion is about £20, 000 I'm like ..NO.
Lmaooo this guy asked me the same thing. We just started dating and he asked if I’d go half on a condo. Chile please I didn’t want no condo tf I’m gone get one for you for😂
This is your best video ever
Don’t get left at the construction site!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 omg 😭😭😭😭
Factz! You and Ms Cythia G and helping women. Yall are changing the game!!!!
Seriously,,,?
2:38 “Left at the construction site“, I AM ROFL 🤣
Glad I came across your channel today. Your insights make sense, especially with these guys running around taking about how they want a feminine woman. 💅👠
My wife got with me when I was on a bike going through a divorce, with children. I make 20,000 more than her a year now because she helped me. Now I am helping her go back to school.
So she can get an even better job and end up out earning you?
Dope
@@janedoe5510 exactly
@@Rainbows1111 exactly 💯
@@Rainbows1111 then you "lose" your job and cash in on your investment (her education) having her take care of you, the bills and your kids 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Strategy unmatched, you are truly Shera's student 😊
I was clocking in while he was getting in 😂😂😂😂😂 I decided it was not for me.
1:49:40 @SheraSeven most of these blue collar dudes are dusty when I comes to growing a business. After their shift they clock out physically and mentally. Bosses/Providers strategize 5-15 years out. These dusties don't have the acumen to have more than one stream of income
Smh
Agree
It's called low IQ.
@@CassCreamwhy u say "smh"
I’m priceless, I’m a woman… YES!!!!! 🥰
“I was small compared to them. Shoot!” @shera you are so funny 😂
This was a very informative video. I hope one day you do a video speaking on the expectations a male provider wants when giving a woman this level of comfort.
Are you even in a position to be able to do that? I see so many comments about what these “high value men” expect of women and most of them don’t even have their own homes.
@@mystix4317 😆 My apologies if you took my post as a threat or opposition. To be quite honest I am not a 6 figure man. I just want to hear a woman's perspective of those men at that stature. I actually agree with a lot of things she said on this thread. I don't like my woman helping me with anything financial other then making sure all the bills are paid when I send finances to her account. And yes, I have a home and it's paid off.
@@mystix4317: 👍🏾💯 "High value men" don't have time for this. They're either producing or relaxing. And, when they relax, please believe, that it's not on RUclips trolling *women's* spaces. These are the "men" that live on their mom's couches and get mad when her boyfriend spends the night/weekend.
@@kawi_theincenseman I think provider men expect their wives to be attractive and feminine. Not one of the guys. Agreeable (not a doormat though). An attentive mother. Kind. You get the picture.
It's difficult for a woman to be these things if she has to be a workhorse 40 hours a week building another man's dream. Some woman "might" be able to pull it off. I couldn't, hard as I tried.
@@ritasjourney Thanks for actually answering the question And not attacking me as though you know me personally. And ladies you would be surprised what men are in here listening to you talk.
Oh my goodness! Your hair is so lovely! Blessings Shera, you're the best!
I love your hair style and makeup 💄
How do you keep a man from being stolen ? Don’t date that type of man !! Certain type of men are predisposed to that and we’ll be everything he wants and you don’t want to do that you want to be who you want to be dump him and find a better man ! Always have options
You look real cute with ur real hair Shera.❤️🙏🏻
This video is on point Shera, preach hunny x
This is good advice. Any man asking what do you do for work?is red flag. I am more looking for a christian man and but I find that most of them cannot always provide, I guess like you say look for someone with a good income, most time we are taught to overlook money and look at the qualities only, but that could be hard if he is having a hard time. I do not want a sugar daddy because they are looking to hook up, the majority of these old man I came across seem to not have it all or is very sickly and mainly looking for a free caregiver. That is not a sugar daddy. But like you said if the money is right on the women end then it much better to have qualities guys with money.
My ex said that he want me to work even after the pregnancy and want to do 50/50. And want to use me and my money.
Love the 50s look
Saw the title! Sorry I agree, build your own FIRST than you could build another one. Im 23 and I get that.
Great Rozena "a bird 🐦 in the hand is worth more than 50 in the bushes 🌴: that's old folks talk, means a promise ain't/isn't sh ..."
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
You still look amazing! Your a smart woman & you really do have a logical perspective on how to approach marriage. My husband does not pay all my bills & I admit, I am a Barbara the Builder. However, he took me on with two kids. We do have a child together but he works hard & I know he ain't leaving 😂. Either way, I do agree I would much RATHER be a stay at home wife/mom.
Thanks for the honesty
Previous kids or not, you are still and always the prize. Never feel less then. He knows your worth wich is why he married you. Do you know your worth? Best of luck, dear🥂
@@ninawestlake5005 Support on this channel is amazing.
You look good I thought you looked thinner. Love your information.
Love our hair here!!!
I am a new subscriber.great content 🙂
You’re not fat at all you’re perfect and gorgeous🥰
I totally agree with this title. Like whyyyy the hell????
There isn't an abundance of such men out there. Y'all better be ready to out compete your fellow sisters to catch the few top men. Most men are average earners and some of y'all aren't even that good looking to start with. It's all in your heads but reality will reveal itself sooner or later
@@ELLIOT8209 those that went before us built with men only to get nothing in return and constantly be degraded in favour for gold diggers. We are not doing that anymore and many of us know marriage can be a scam for women without financial benefits.
Tell'em...as stated in prior comment: Bck 2005-2007 took my baby 4day wkend to Charolette NC to her God sister. My Jaguar fit right into neighborhood decor, all I saw were Cadillac Town cars, Mercedes Benz Landrovers, u get it, no Camrys-Impalas, no starter cars, all Top Shelf type. Walkn arnd site see, Chitchat with neighbors, found out none of the wives in the 🏠 development works: again, None of wives worked!! They spoiled the baby, showed us a good time. Godchild took baby get nails done. BFF came home, asked her, "do u know ur the only one here that works?"
Wooooow
I absolutely love this video
You are right. One couple split after she made him rich.. she built his company and she and him was a power couple.. and then she built her own successful company too..
She is rich as well..
And he left her.. he felt emasculated.. and she always kinda unknowingly rub in his face that she was there when he was zero.. and she "helped".. she "paid".. it was all her money..
From a marketing perspective the story is a best seller.. it was the backbone to their brand..
Zero to heroes..
But from feminine and masculine dynamic.. he always feel small.. she is the star.. the moon.. and the sun.. and she always quick to remind everyone how much she helped.. and keep helping everyday.. and she literally made him rich and successful..
The divorce is super messy now..
Its sad..
She is beautiful and extremely smart..
But she lost so much money and still losing money paying for lawyers.. and he kept his and used hers.. he literally paid the bare minimum.. like rent and few bills here and there.. 😂 man.. I was so pissed when she told her story..
She is literally barbara and pick me.. its sad..
Thanks very much 🥰🥰
you should see how men gaslight women on linked in
Any example dear?
I'm intrigued
LinkedIn? Really?
@@SMC-q7w curious too
I love the 1950's look!
9:28 I want that sleep too Shera! 😂
I feel like this advice is so hard to follow especially if you are in your early 20s and literally own nothing and have never seen money in your life. I was like this. Now almost 30, I'm starting to see the applicability. But although it should be easier when you are younger for outer beauty reasons, it is often not
Most young women don't have the mindset and were not brought up correctly. Only a tiny percentage have that mentality at such a young age. Not to mention the emotional roller coaster ride with the hormones. It's a skill...
Yes wish I knew this younger
Wow happenin now after the shirts I gave the partnership it turned into days laer the engagement is off!! By him.dont do it
I won't settle for a broke man. I have my life together and am very content on being single. There's a man chasing me. He has his life together and texts me everyday and sends me 💗 in the text messages. He's not offering me anything else and so I don't respond with a 💗. If he's not interested in courting me and taking me out, I have no time. I may respond with thank you for thinking of me have a nice day 😊 and leave it alone. I'm not emotionally invested in him. He can text me, I'm not showing any feelings because I have none for any man.
Is he a teenager? He isn't pursuing you that's just nonsense behaviour
@jessicahitchens6926 No, he's not a teenager. He's just a platonic friend who wants to take it to the next level. I don't want to get involved because I don't want to have sex outside of a marriage commitment. No man in today's world wants to live up to that standard and so I just gave up. 🤷♀️
They are getting mortgages in cities and neighbourhoods that they can’t afford and going 5050 for this
Tragic🙄
Great Advice! 😘😘
It’s a fact and I’m stuck because I been building a man
Look up law of assumption would suggest. You still got the power ❤️
Love thé look ❤️❤️
Talk bout “focus on this” 😂😂😂😂😂
I love this advice shera 😵💗🥰
lol she said “that’s how you work the grocery store” 🤣🤣🤣
I believe you know a man is husband material when you naturally want to help him. I don’t think he’ll ask you to but it wouldn’t matter because you’ll want to join him in the world he’s built or is building.
Yea
Are u new here. You are never to build with a man. If your presence doesn't inspire. Jump and pass. He's a Dusty. Go build yourself and your business for you and your future children.
@@gktginglobal1040 Jump and pass.. hahah. That sounds like a Nigerian phrase. Are you Nigerian?
@@gktginglobal1040 I’m not new here. I’ve just healed enough since I started watching these videos to be able to take what I can use from Shera and leave what doesn’t work. Since then I’ve had a lot more success with qualified men. I didn’t say carry the load for him I said HELP him. Some of these men work so hard they forget to take care of themself, they forget to go to the doctor and get check ups. Some of them are socially awkward, some of them just need a woman to listen to him. If you care about someone than you should be happy to show them, no matter what might happen. Otherwise, are you sure you want to be someone who approaches love from the place of checks and balances? Sounds exhausting and lonely.
Yes