@@twoshillings7292Alot of it is rooted in Narcissism and narcissistic behaviors. Yes NPD is a disorder but people with it can be bad people (narcissist parents for example). A sense of entitlement/seeing yourself superior/manipulativeness is a pretty common trait between "boymoms".
@@IwantakrabbypattyI don't think the commentor was saying it's impossible for people with NPD to be bad people, just that using a word and a diagnosis as shorthand for every asshole you meet doesn't do people who have NPD and don't act like that any favours and it leads to heavy stigmatization. Like I understand the need for there to be some underlying reason to why a loved one or someone you're supposed to trust treats someone awfully but a lot of times it's not due to a diagnosis. It's on the same vein with framing any sort of emotional abuse as 'narcissistic abuse' like being selfish or emotionally manipulative is an NPD only trait.
@@twoshillings7292Yeah tbh. You'd get people who go on and on about how important mental health awareness is and stigmatization's awful then run to armchair diagnose every bad person or weird asshole with a personality disorder.
I do think, socially, it could have an impact, esp in more socially conservative communities. But overall from my front seat ticket experience to a parent having an obsessive affection for their child; the "who" isn’t necessarily the issue, it’s the audacity of "what" (what being child being involved with any person outside their parent) happening or possibly occurring. Objectification’s a nasty ting, which likes to hide itself with social conditioning. Tis why this obvious itemizating of one’s child is presented as "unnecessary affection", even though you’re just taking advantage of a role you (the parent) conjured in another human’s life to sustain control. Somehow it always comes down to powergaming…
i feel as though many mothers who think this way are conservative and would be homophobic anyways- but this phenomenon isn’t about who it’s more the idea of them having a partner at all - regardless of the gender of said partner
@@mrpickles-hb6zxIt’s fucking weird to want to know EVERY single thing your child is doing my online. It’s better to explain the dangers of strangers online and give them independence while still being there for them if something goes wrong.
@@mrpickles-hb6zx what @ghoultooth said, also the fact we are forgetting the CONTEXT OP MENTIONED as to WHY it was even weirder in the first place. read.
"Toxic boy moms will say something that would even make Sigmund Frued do the dougie in his grave, and then they'll laugh it off as if they didnt say something that would make Olivia Benson's spidey senses start tingling" HELP. HELP ME😭😭😭😭
I have a daughter and she’s said “I want to marry my dad someday” before. We had a laugh and conversation about how she can find her own person someday. We talked about how our love is special but she’ll get to choose someone even better than me someday. It was a fun and sweet talk with my kid. The idea that there are other people who hear that and respond “oh yes, tell me more” and then brag about it on social media is disturbing to me.
im pretty sure every/most kids in the world have had a "oh marry means love and i love my parents so that must mean something to do with loving my parents normally" moment then have to be corrected and explained what marriage even means LOL but u have a point and that part freaks me out ☹️ WHY CANT PEOPLE BE NORMAL TO THEIR VERY UN-DEVELOPED OFF SPring!!!
Yeah people don’t realize that little kids take awhile before they can conceptualize much less truly understand the difference and overlap between romantic, familial, and platonic love
Yeah I had a phase like that when I was little. Kids don’t realize marriage has implications and they just think it means loving eachother and holding hands. I’m pretty sure I had a “crush” on my dad when in reality it was just that I loved my parents.
9/10 times a daughter’s “first love” is her father obviously not in that way. If a father gives love to his daughter, the daughter will look for that same love from another man (So if there is an absent father, the daughter ends up in abusive relationships) If a father calls his daughter beautiful, complements her, make sure she’s safe. A manipulative man won’t affect her. Since she’s heard that before
9:23 the fact that the brother also thinks OP is secretly "sad" (for having a daughter) just makes the situation worse because that means BOTH of those poor kids parents think women are sad to have a daughter
Their poor girl, I can only imagine what shit she has to face because of her misogynistic parents constantly flavouring her 3 brothers (who, I bet, pretty shitty and horrible to her too) over her
Absolute opposite for me tbh. I honestly can't imagine being upset about getting another gendered child instead of the other, I want nothing more than a daughter to give her a normal childhood free of guilt and shame for being herself. Give her a healthy outlook for herself and self love from the start. I want a son also to give him a childhood free of scrutiny and expectations of self also. They are children and I want to be a parent they can have as a support net, no matter what. Never feel afraid to talk and be close with the family. I want my children to know they are loved and cared for no matter what and confidence that they can always be the best versions of themselves. Parents guide children when they're lost in their learning, I want to be there as their post. If I don't have one or the other then so be it! I'm not going to put that on my children in spite because I couldn't produce one gender, that's my problem not theirs. I can't imagine being jealous or vindictive of the beautiful children you give birth to for any reason. They didn't ask to be brought into the world so why make it their problem? Make it the best you can for them while you can because like our own parents, we're going to pass one day too. I'd rather have a lot of fantastic memories to leave them with and when I pass I want them to feel confident in who they are without their parents guidance.
She confused Tomboy for Pick-me. She was a pick-me growing up and never learned how to make connections with girls and woman her ages growing up. She was so focused on attention from the boys and men that she never learned herself. Poor daughters who are stuck with this for a mother. I am rooting for all of you.
As someone with a girl mom who was creepy in exactly this way, it really doesn't have anything to do with the children, what gender they are, or what sexuality the parent is. It's just an issue of gross people wanting a child who they think can never reject their love to function as their romantic partner. Covert incest is really common in emotionally abusive households, I think it's just a symptom of bad people with no boundaries or respect for children having kids
the problem isnt that it can occur to any parent regardless of the gender, the problem is that MAJORITY of boy moms are like this more than girl moms. just the statistics, nothing more
@@reyphobicalso how would you know what the statistics are? This has been talked about online for a year or more but is not an existing or valid psychological phenomenon and it’s not like there are studies about it. If you’re basing it on anecdotal evidence of what you think you’ve seen most of online, consider that gender politics and the algorithm can push certain concepts and skew your perspective on the real world
@@maddieb.4282 so im making stuff up now? seems that you’ve clearly been living under a rock and haven’t witnessed boy moms frequently. social media is full of them too, add them all up and im pretty confident they’re in a greater amount than girl moms. im not saying the latter doesn’t exist, but cmon, its pretty obvious who the majority is and don’t give me the “you don’t know” bullcrap. it’s just how it is, embrace it. pointless denial will get you nowhere. i know your comment wasn’t intended to be harsh and i apologise if mine comes off that way but im just speaking from the research and experience ive faced.
@@maddieb.4282hey this has most certainly been a talked about and existing phenomenon since well before a "year or so". i noticed it as a child in the 90's at school and thought it was hella weird. then in the early 2000's my stepmom had my half brothers and she is exactly the toxic boy mom stereotype. it's called emotional incest and most certainly has been psychologically studied so idk what you're on about. just because something has taken on a new term that blew up in popularity (aka emotional incest turning into "toxic boy mom") doesn't mean it didn't previously exist, wasn't previously discussed, or hasn't been scientifically studied. not sure if you're just new to the internet or the earth, or...? where do you think the psycho mother in law trope was born from? that's been around for many many decades. it takes two seconds to google something to find valid studies about emotional incest that is predominantly mother-son. sorry if it sounds harsh but you can't just make shit up and pretend like you said something. ❤
Dude I'm gonna meet my bf's mom for the first time in a few months, and I am TERRIFIED. He talked about my cooking once, and she went "mmm...but did she make the pasta noodles from scratch?" And when he said no, but it doesn't matter, she went "then ig she didn't really cook anything". LIKE WTFFFF
You're telling me you didn't carve the dining chairs and table out of wood and screw them together before serving his meal? That's literally the bare minimum smh 😔..
She said it!!! Exactly what I was thinking! BOY MOMS OVERLAP THE PICK MES! It’s soooo strange to me- especially that little “giving my son away” post!!! If you replace being there for your boy best friend you secretly love but you’re just apart of the bros and seeing him leave for college- GIVES THE SAME ASS VIBES!
The entire thing is rooted in sexism (duh) . Aside from the can of worms that is them losing their identity as a woman as soon as they become a mother, the idea that daughters are somehow lesser than is from the yee ol' days (King Henry the 8th ring any bells?) These types of women usually view the peak of life as being a wife and mother, the father giving the daughter away as the best moment (which btw-stems from him literally GIVING HER AWAY in arranged marriages). So when they have a son, they don't view a future baby maker, they view a man who could be a football player or a CEO or whatever. Aside from the whole competition aspect (which again is rooted in misogyny as toxic relationships as normal) this whole idea of sons over daughters goes all the way back to King Can't-Keep-A-Wife wanting a son to have a heir to the throne to Lucinda on Facebook excitedly chatting away about how she can finally do 'boy activities' with her son
Fun fact! The ye in ye olde things is actually a fun alphabet thing! Because the ‘English’ alphabet did not carry over a single letter for the th sound, people used the letter hat looked the closest to the original letter for th. This letter ended up being Y. So any time you see “ye” it actually should be read “the”!
do people not know that female infants used to be murdered because they were female- idk if it was a worldwide phenomenon, but in china/south asia female infants would left outside to die, or they would straight up be murdered by someone. probably around the same time king henry was being a stupid idiot. i guess white people history is more widely known but i thought everyone knew about this cause it was so messed up. king henry was a saint compared to what went on amongst commoners.
I couldn't stand to date a guy whose mom thinks she's his partner. Obviously, treat your mom with respect and care, but there is a boundary that should just not be crossed. I have 20/20 vision when it comes to those red flags
About the second mom, I hateee when people assume that one cannot love everyone important to them equally. They act like there’s this invisible ranking of “who’s most important” and it’s so stupid. Sure, her son has committed to a romantic relationship for life with a woman he loves romantically. Does that impact his familial love for his mother? No! Loving one more person does not take away love stored for another. We are not containers with limited space for love in our hearts.
the "boy mom" thing is so funny to me because i'm a transgender man, older brother of a cis man. my mom was a "boy mom" to my little brother and the difference was very crazy growing up. my mom was very open about how my brother, her "true" son was her favorite and she would defend him with all she had. the beginning of my transition was really hard because i've always felt like a boy and did "boy things" all my life but my mom did the thing where she thought she had to grieve the daughter i never was. about 6 years after i came out the situation's very different and changed for the better but i think there was lowkey some grief and anger on her side that my brother was no longer the only son and "boy". in my mom's case it never was to the point of emotional incest with my younger brother, thankfully, but she did a lot of the "boy mom" things, especially with my brother being the youngest. i'm glad my mom is now quite far from this mindset and has learned to accept me despite how unconventional my existence is. i hope the boy moms posting those things on social media will mature and realize that posting these things are harmful.
@@1EmuFanit would probably be an even more violent (not like, actually physically violent- just like, more extreme) response because she’s idolized him for (in this scenario, assuming he was a trans girl) someone he (would be she) isn’t/wasn’t i can’t say for certain or anything, but i feel like she would be even more upset because of internalized sexism (everyone has it- it’s why so many people see women as less than men, in many different senses of the word. it’s also one reason trans women receive the most hate out of the trans community- people don’t understand why a biological male would “want to” [being trans isn’t a choice, but transphobes treat it like it is] be a woman because they see it as going down the social ladder/social hierarchy) i think that she (the mom) might actually be worse to her son (would be daughter) in a situation like that, which would (oddly) probably make OP [commenter] into the favorite, partially due to resentment and partially due to clinging onto the last “semblance of a son” (OP’s mom doesn’t seem to accept him [commenter], which will impact the way she treats him regardless of it being this scenario or not) she has. i’m a trans-masc enby, so i can’t speak for the experience of trans women, but a lot of them probably have experiences similar to this and i would def recommend listening to their life stories first hand, because they’ll do far better than i ever could. trans women are the glue that hold our community together ( _especially_ black trans women)
The crazy thing about boymom is that they'll proudly admit that they value thier daughter so much less right to their face. Not very stratégique if you want your child to still be your child after not needing your roof anymore. (sorry for my silly french girl grammar)
I don’t understand this at alllll. As a mom, I absolutely love my son, he’s nearly ten and such a doll, he’s great! But I just had a baby girl, and my husband and I were ecstatic from the moment she came into the world. Every day I’m just so thrilled to see who she’s slowly growing to become, and my son makes me proud with what a great human he is- responsible, sweet, and very kind. I don’t understand why I would love either of my kids more due to their gender 😭 I just want them to be good people who treat others as they want to be treated like, isn’t that enough??
Yeah, I understand the concept of “i already have a daughter so now i would like to have a son (or viceversa)” to, you know, experience the entire scope of raising a child, or whatever… But like being FULL ON destroyed and disappointed that you are having 2 daughters, and mourning the boy you’re never gonna have, like…. That’s a bit m u c h
The problem is that these parents think of their kids as possessions instead of living beings that have their own autonomous lives. You're not 'giving away' anything, because you do not own your child. People are not objects to be given and taken.
4:35 someone please tell this woman to STAND UP!!!! Not only does it sound like its about an ex boyfriend instead of her son, but its also giving Wattpad 😐
My grandma took it one step further and actively tried to raise me to be my grandpa's replacement. It was fun watching her go on a nearly religious tirade over the judge issuing a court order over her making me sleep in the same bed with her. Nowadays she calls me a traitor to anyone who will listen because I took my independence back and started dating.
Need a third circle for the mom's who have several kids with different dads who shit on the kid who they had with their least favourite ex. Like they hold the fact the one dad was a POS to them over the child's head like its their fault. Usually shitting on the daughters of these men over the sons of them.
The tomboy thing is so weird because I grew up as a tomboy but I always wanted a daughter LOL. Tbh tho I have been leaning towards no kids. Rather spend on traveling.
Definitely talk to her is it makes you uncomfortable. That being said, that's not necessarily a weird thing to call your kid. I obviously don't know your circumstances so maybe there's more to it, but I don't want you to think something is strange just because of some people on the Internet.
@@hypnozpie4071 That might be weird if you have siblings and you're the only one she does that to. Otherwise that's probably something she only calls family, which would be why you don't hear her call many other people that.
Raising a boy vs raising a girl is basically different in exclusively 1 way. 1: The Puberty Talk. That's it, really. Any good parent should be teaching their kids things equally about things like predatory behavior, keeping themselves safe, basic good manners, and situational etiquette. None of these are specifically for any one type of kid. All things at an age appropriate level ofc, but that's gonna be different for every child, but a good rule would be that ALL those topics get a review before something like sending a kid to a new year if school, and ESPECIALLY reviewed if you decide to start introducing new Internet Freedoms to your child.
It's genuinely upsetting when I think of the lives these boys will have. It can only end two ways: the boys expect every woman to mother them or they have to cut contact with their actual mothers.
Eh, no. It can end a variety of ways, with other ways of this ending being dudes moving on to having healthy lives and relationships despite how their mothers raised then.
toxic boy moms make me physically cringe i cant do this anymore. thank you for speaking on this subject on behalf of the daughters affected by the toxic boy moms
according to my mother, my grandma on my dad side who helped raise me and my brothers was very emotionally incestuous with my father. It was not a fun time when she died!
I hate when their excuse is “I was a tomboy when I grew up” like dude I’m butch asl and don’t want kids but if I had to choose I’d pick a daughter but I’d love a boy or a girl either way
Idk still weird to care about what the gender of your child will be to the point of being like “Well I would prefer my child to be X gender, but if they weren’t” Like why does it matter?
My older cousin, Colton, had sa’d me in my sleep and took photos of me in my sleep, and also had 2000 photos of child 🌽 on his computer and talked about taking me to a city with two older guys and then leaving me there after r4ping me. And when he even said he was guilty in court, his mother, Melanie, tried to defend him. Toxic boy moms are evil.
Wow I am so sorry I hope you can find healing. That is so sad and it’s evil that should we would try defending his disgusting actions. And think not that Allah is unaware of what the oppressors do. He only grants them respite until the day the eyes will stare in horror. [QURAN, 14:42]
I was a High School teacher.... I WAS... These moms exist, and "Mommy's li'l man" is more frightening than anyone might want to imagine or confront 😳 Thank you for bringing this light.
My mother is a HS teacher as well. One of these boy moms threatened to get her k!lled and brought all the teachers to court for "wrongfully failing" her son's grades. Her son only went to school nearly 5 times a month and she told them he could do nothing wrong and the teachers probably only disliked his son so that's why they failed them 😭 it was such a messy situation that lasted for months. The school teachers had to get police escorts to make sure nothing happened to them :(
3:02 Not to answer the least important question asked here but the fake engagement ring is probably so she doesn’t lose her real wedding ring while she travels. Like it was probably just chilling in her jewelry box or whatever. Still a nasty ass post 😭
the aita post made me so mad at the SIL. like what twilight zone is this???? disgusting. doesnt help the fact my bf has to put up with being afab with 3 brothers and horrible parents + mom being a boymom. i hate these freaks. THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN, LOVE AND CARE FOR THEM, BUT DO NOT BE CREEPY OR SEXIST LIKE THAT TO UR OWN KIDS?? TF?
According to google (so i may be wrong), several of the chemicals found in gasoline are also found in perfumes. Benzene, toulene, etc. are (maybe) common chemicals the two share. To our brains these chemicals smell aromatic and appealing. Perfumes on purpose, gasoline not (i hope).
The worst thing is, 9/10 times the son wont feel like he can even say anything to his mother out of guilt and feeling horrible and to thegirl it can feel horrible
The tradition of fathers giving their daughters away literally is based on traditions around the transfer of property. I guess parents generally view their children as an extension of themselves, especially with boymoms, but still
My friend’s mom is a boy mom and it is TERRIFYING like it’s not just cringe, creepy or gross, it is literally MORTIFYING Edit: I just got some more tea! His sister says their mom still makes him call her mommy/mama 😭😭
This is too true, especially for single moms of males. The daughters are usually pushed through life on speed mode while the mom spends their time coddling the boys into co-dependency. Moms expect so much more from the girls than boys. I'm not too sure if I should be appreciative or jealous of my mom's and brother's bond. I'm a workaholic with everything in line and he's still home with a job, but no bills, doesn't clean up or feed himself, and my mom makes sure his car is paid and tank full. "He doesn't know any better", she says as he stands there with the dumbest grin and the latest pair of Jordans🤣🤣 BTW I'm 30 and he's 25.
This reminds me a lot of my auntie’s relationship with her mum 💀 She was the second born, and her mum literally told her she was an accident, while their first born was a boy. They literally gave their son EVERYTHING, and i mean everything, he was treated like a prince his whole life. My auntie? They literally gave her to her grandma the moment she was born, and left her there till she turned 10 years old. They wouldn’t even visit her for more than 2 weeks during the holidays. By the time they decided to actually raise her she felt completely disconnected from them, and ended up getting married young to the wrong guy just to get out of there and feel loved, i guess… And they would also constantly criticise her for not being as academically gifted as her brother The funny thing is, the son was an actual angel. Like from the moment he met her he treated her like a sister, he would buy her gifts all the time, help her with her homework, take her on vacation with him (cause he was quite older, like, he was 16 when she was 10), like he truly loved her and she was head over hills for him
“He doesn’t know any better” Yeah, cause his mother never taught him anything. What exactly does she expect him to do when she’s older and can no longer support him?
if bell hooks was alive and a video essayist, we would get a masterpiece on boy moms. But ur vid was also really fun and amazing bojack reference. I love lobotomy😊
my mother isn't a toxic boy mom, but both my parents favor my brother and often let everything out on me and apologize to my brother for the inconvenience.
yeah, this is why my mum is so bent out of shape that I worked out with some help I have a gender incongruence so started hrt and affirming my correct gender. now she toxic boy mumming my son instead. eeeeeek. he's an adult, has his own life and such, so he can maybe watch this vid and then go and puke and start thinking about creating a life of his own. You've made it funny, but it's all pretty messed up right here. lol. signed ya'girl rosie
I just found your channel As a story board artist I know a thing or two about reading scripts and implementing them into art. You’re doing the same ~ your scripts, tone of voice, punchlines, and overall delivery of your videos made me think you’re like 22-25 bc of how well spoken your videos are- like you’re sense of humor is so good and you’re entertaining af to listen to- you made me wanna stay for the whole video fr great story telling of such a crazy ass topic. Keep this shit up 👀🙌🏻
I hope these toxic boy moms are aware that children see favouritism. No matter how subtle. The worst part about my dad admitting that he liked my brother better is that I wasn't even surprised.
No but the marriage post you were talking about is insane though. I don't get why they think that their relationship with their son vs their son's relationship with their partner is a competition. Love isn't a tier list where one person is at the top, love comes in so many different forms and fills different niches depending on a relationship. Boy moms are weird. Also, your channel is fantastic. Been binging all your videos after being recommended your last one.
Everyone already basically ragged on the toxic boy moms and I agree. But, I want to add this instead: if you are one of those daughters, you are important, just as important as any boy, man, other woman, other girls, etc, anyone basically. You deserve love and just as much given to a boy. I am sorry that your family failed you but it is not your fault.
When I was pregnant last year I would have a lot of women hope on my behalf it was a boy . It was creepy some even having daughters as well z like poor kids I can’t imagine their home life
My mother is a pretty awesome and has never been a boy Mom but there’s one thing that she does that makes me extremely uncomfortable that I feel that might kind of relate to this. One day I was changing in my room as usual and my mom walk in and I wasn’t wearing a shirt and she said ”your chest is bigger than mine when I was your age” which I guess it was trying to be a compliment? Another thing is Christmas Eve of 2023. She told one of my relatives that I had bigger boobs than she did when she was my age. I find these statements really weird because she got breast implants. But that’s me.
Y'ugh, this discussion is all over TikTok, so I'm glad it's now coming to RUclips. This has always bothered me, and am exceptionally glad that my mother never acted like this with us. Though she does get weird about my brother's female partners, that being said, she also gets weird about my male partners as well. To me, it's a trust thing and rooted maternal instinct. This other nonsense however is pathological and disturbing, both between mothers and sons, as well as fathers and daughters. It's all weird. Humans are weird.
for the gasoline question .. when i was a kid i got into a freak gas station incident where gas got sprayed on me. it tastes like your mouth is on fire and melting and you’re dying 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
i hate hate HATE the way people on tiktok hate girl cats and LOVE their boy cats as if there is a difference between them.. not related to the video but still...
My girl cat currently sleeping like a flour of sack on my equally knocked out out husband's arse, while the boy cat is chewing at the venetian blinds' drawstring and looks up at me every 5 seconds to see if I'm reacting or no, because there's no nightstand drawer here to pry open at night, or a printer to turn on to provoke us out of bed. I love the old cooter, I don't think he has much left in him, but between the two elderly cats, if I had to pick which one I loved more, I genuinely cannot, but if I had to pick which cat I liked more RIGHT NOW, I'm choosing the hairy flour of sack. I'll pay attention to you the moment you stop dicking around and come and sit next to my table and look up at me for 10 seconds like a good, calm boy. Not when you're trying to provoke me!
For real like, it's already ridiculous to apply gender norms to children, but cats? Animals? They literally don't care about this human bs. Animals aren't stupid like us.
Adding my own life story, I know my mom was a toxic boy mom 😭😭😭. I was the first child, not a boy so obviously my mom decided to tell me “I wish you were a boy” when ever she pleased, and after having a my sister (who she still treated substantially better and favored…) she had my brother. Needless to say she was ecstatic. Still abused all three of us though. And I turned out to be a trans man. Coulda stopped while you were ahead, but nooooo. Now she’s rotting somewhere 😭😭😭 Anyway point is toxic boy moms are no fucking joke and it is truely as disgusting to witness first hand as it is for those who haven’t. 😭😭😭 I’m glad it’s getting talked about atleast 😭😭😭😭😭
As a trans person, this video was hard to sit through because these boy moms are sooooo annoying. Like the weird bio essentialsm, obvious, and completely undisguised preoccupation with gender roles (& gender binary) get so on my nerves. Oh yeah not to mention THE EMOTIONAL INC3CT!!! WAYY too much to unpack. I LOVED that u mentioned Bojack though.
PSA to all boy moms: Let go of your sons. They are not your property or your lover, they are individuals who deserve to experience freedom and individuality from your smothering clutches. Stop ruining your kid for your own selfish reasons and let them go be in the world, without you. And be nice to your daughters why tf you see them as “competitors” do you hear how that sounds?!!
Toxic boy moms make me so goddamn uneasy w/ how utterly obsessed they are w/ their sons I’ve seen some creep ass unsettling videos of these moms saying such creepy outlandish shit that absolutely had an incestuous vibe to it I feel for those poor boys who’ll only grow up resenting their moms if not also being afraid & traumatized by their moms it’s an epidemic that needs to be taken seriously these moms need serious help & so do those boys
There are differences before puberty. Girls seem sweet and calm and talk sooner and aren’t as crazy. All of my nieces are so sweet. Sure they cry and have their tantrums like all toddlers. But while my niece is chillin watching TV or coloring, my son is busy jumping off the chair. Lol I’m obviously exaggerating and being reductionist. Doesn’t help my boys probably have ADHD like me. But still, I would loved to have a little girl. But I love my boys just the same.
My mom is a toxic boy mom, i think. or its just plain Asian misogyny, i cant really tell. but she favors my brother over me, a lot. has less expectation for him, yadda yadda, more rewarding towards him, gives him praises. I wouldn't feel that bad if he was my younger, younger brother, but we were fucking twins. So i did what every vengeful daughter would normally do, i turned my brother against her. were 19 now, out of the house because of my father, she's still crazy, crazier than she was before, she never found out of what i did, i didn't keep my brother in the dark about what i did and he actually thank me because he's afraid of becoming a spoiled man child. he still gets allowance from her, and shares it with me. ps. my parents are divorced because my mother is physically abusive towards my father
I dated a guy with a toxic boy mom When I broke up with him she drove him to my house to drop off a letter asking for me back and blah blah blah. Bro i literally saw him at school the same day
I had a big long comment and I thought it was kind of interesting, but maybe it's too complicated and came across weird. so here's another big long comment just to hopefully kind of fill the same amount of space I guess? also, maybe this is good for the algorithm. I just came across this RUclipsr recently, she's real, clever and funny. oh my point is I'm not saying anything, this is an empty comment. this is just
hi new viewer. i sat there wondering for a solid moment after the "i'll be his second best girl" how boy moms would react to their sons having daughters (because then she'd be "his THIRD best girl") and then i remembered that yes, they are just as weird about them too. have you HEARD the amount of mils who are like "my baby! let me hold my baby!" and completely disrespect the wife/new mom ughhhh
These moms are so damn weird. There should be a study with dads and their daughters too cuz some of that stuff is a lil past “she’s just my babygirl I gotta protect her” too lmfaooo
Who gets shotgun between wife and mom? As the wife, I say mom, cause mom’s hips ain’t what they used to be and front is easier. But I’m the driver, so hubby sits in back while his mom takes front. xP
There two mom boys. One mom will teach their sons how to cook, clean, and help them out when needed, also teach them how to treat a woman with respect and kindness towards her buy if she is rude or very toxic towards him, he has a right to leave from her (only if she very toxic). The other Mom who teach their sons how to be rude towards women and tell him that he is the true master of the house and cheers him on to be Abusive towards his Ex wife until she grow a backbone and leaves him, etc, etc, and the mom wondered why she didn't habe any grandchildren. Do you see the differences?
The first one doesn't sound all that bad except for the "I gave away being his number one girl" and "You will become his second best girl" like....ew, no grown woman should be calling herself a "girl" especially toward her son. Pretty weird, but all of the other sentiments are pretty normal once you're a parent, it's a pretty deep love and there is a deep sense of loss when your child becomes their own adult and leaves the nest. Daughters tend to stay close to mom and involve her in the birth of grand baby (obviously, the daughter is the one going through surgery) while boys tend to drift away from mom once hitting adulthood (if they aren't momma boys) I find the grief expressed in the post and the reminder to squeeze your son a little tighter is justified....this lady just made it weird and incestuous with the "girl" comments
I wasna tomboy growing up, and now im a very masculine guy. Honestly i cant wait to be a parent either way, but when i think of it in my head, its always a daughter. I like more girl names than boy names... But I honestly think its because i have many more strong women in my family than men. I dont prefer girls to boys, its just easier to imagine it the way I've seen it my whole life.
I remember when I was a kid my grandma used to give me water instead of juice like my cousins because ‘the sugar would give me acne’ and even to this day she tells me I should stop drinking sugar because of my acne
My mum was one of these toxic boy mums. It was horrible. She treated him so much better than my sister and I. Everyone defended her saying it was because he was the youngest. But even when he was older she still treated him better than us.
Side note: I feel like the scenario you posed of moms defending their kids is less an unconditional love problem and more an unconditional SUPPORT problem. Parents should love their children unconditionally... always.
OMG i cackled (plus, i was insufferable as a 15 year old as well but i digress)!!! Waaaaaaay back in 2005, there was an episode of Arrested Development called "Motherboy XXX" that spoke on this exact topic. Lucille Bluth planned on taking her grown son, Buster Bluth, to the 30th iteration of the event and the title of the episode could not be more spot on! I now think of Toxic Boy Moms when i hear lines like "Oh god! Not that 'i'm in love with my mother' dance again" or - in reference to the costume portion of the event - "you have to get on your knees to zip it up, Michael"! This was hysterical and keep creating great content 🥰🫶🏼❣️
The pickme to boymom to monster-in-law pipeline is real 💃
It’s called Narcissism. 😂 there’s no pipeline.
@@aiaesthetics1124unfortunately that’s not what narcissism is!! NPD is a real thing that isn’t evil. these people are just abusive ❤
@@twoshillings7292Alot of it is rooted in Narcissism and narcissistic behaviors. Yes NPD is a disorder but people with it can be bad people (narcissist parents for example). A sense of entitlement/seeing yourself superior/manipulativeness is a pretty common trait between "boymoms".
@@IwantakrabbypattyI don't think the commentor was saying it's impossible for people with NPD to be bad people, just that using a word and a diagnosis as shorthand for every asshole you meet doesn't do people who have NPD and don't act like that any favours and it leads to heavy stigmatization. Like I understand the need for there to be some underlying reason to why a loved one or someone you're supposed to trust treats someone awfully but a lot of times it's not due to a diagnosis. It's on the same vein with framing any sort of emotional abuse as 'narcissistic abuse' like being selfish or emotionally manipulative is an NPD only trait.
@@twoshillings7292Yeah tbh. You'd get people who go on and on about how important mental health awareness is and stigmatization's awful then run to armchair diagnose every bad person or weird asshole with a personality disorder.
I always wondered, if boy moms are soooo jealous of the idea of their sons having a girlfriend, how would they react if he got a boyfriend
homophobia and denial probably
I do think, socially, it could have an impact, esp in more socially conservative communities. But overall from my front seat ticket experience to a parent having an obsessive affection for their child; the "who" isn’t necessarily the issue, it’s the audacity of "what" (what being child being involved with any person outside their parent) happening or possibly occurring.
Objectification’s a nasty ting, which likes to hide itself with social conditioning. Tis why this obvious itemizating of one’s child is presented as "unnecessary affection", even though you’re just taking advantage of a role you (the parent) conjured in another human’s life to sustain control. Somehow it always comes down to powergaming…
i feel as though many mothers who think this way are conservative and would be homophobic anyways- but this phenomenon isn’t about who it’s more the idea of them having a partner at all - regardless of the gender of said partner
Wait, you’re onto smth
also, what if they had a transwoman daughter? 😭 imagine the meltdown when they come out
my stepmom used to monitor everyone i talked to irl/online because of some dumbass emotional incest shit. anywaaayyy guess who cut contact!
good for you!!! i hope you can heal from that because holay molay that is terrifying
Glad u got out of there! Hope u heal!
Monitoring your online and irl friends isn't weird, that's normal parenting if ur under 16
@@mrpickles-hb6zxIt’s fucking weird to want to know EVERY single thing your child is doing my online. It’s better to explain the dangers of strangers online and give them independence while still being there for them if something goes wrong.
@@mrpickles-hb6zx what @ghoultooth said, also the fact we are forgetting the CONTEXT OP MENTIONED as to WHY it was even weirder in the first place. read.
"Toxic boy moms will say something that would even make Sigmund Frued do the dougie in his grave, and then they'll laugh it off as if they didnt say something that would make Olivia Benson's spidey senses start tingling" HELP. HELP ME😭😭😭😭
It’s heavy 😂
the dougie is crazy 😭
can i get "oedipus complex" for 200?
This comment has so many references wrapped together which makes it top tier
I have a daughter and she’s said “I want to marry my dad someday” before. We had a laugh and conversation about how she can find her own person someday. We talked about how our love is special but she’ll get to choose someone even better than me someday. It was a fun and sweet talk with my kid.
The idea that there are other people who hear that and respond “oh yes, tell me more” and then brag about it on social media is disturbing to me.
im pretty sure every/most kids in the world have had a "oh marry means love and i love my parents so that must mean something to do with loving my parents normally" moment then have to be corrected and explained what marriage even means LOL but u have a point and that part freaks me out ☹️ WHY CANT PEOPLE BE NORMAL TO THEIR VERY UN-DEVELOPED OFF SPring!!!
Yeah people don’t realize that little kids take awhile before they can conceptualize much less truly understand the difference and overlap between romantic, familial, and platonic love
Yeah I had a phase like that when I was little. Kids don’t realize marriage has implications and they just think it means loving eachother and holding hands. I’m pretty sure I had a “crush” on my dad when in reality it was just that I loved my parents.
A kid saying that Is very normal, now a parent reaching like that Is NOT
9/10 times a daughter’s “first love” is her father obviously not in that way.
If a father gives love to his daughter, the daughter will look for that same love from another man (So if there is an absent father, the daughter ends up in abusive relationships)
If a father calls his daughter beautiful, complements her, make sure she’s safe. A manipulative man won’t affect her. Since she’s heard that before
9:23 the fact that the brother also thinks OP is secretly "sad" (for having a daughter) just makes the situation worse because that means BOTH of those poor kids parents think women are sad to have a daughter
Thank you! When I heard that, I audibly said, "BUT SHE'S NOT SAD!" Someone call the movie theater cause that sounds like a bunch of projection.
its so weird. that entire thing made me feel like i was trapped in a twilight zone
I wonder if SIL spun a false tale. If not, he's just as bad
Their poor girl, I can only imagine what shit she has to face because of her misogynistic parents constantly flavouring her 3 brothers (who, I bet, pretty shitty and horrible to her too) over her
Absolute opposite for me tbh. I honestly can't imagine being upset about getting another gendered child instead of the other, I want nothing more than a daughter to give her a normal childhood free of guilt and shame for being herself. Give her a healthy outlook for herself and self love from the start. I want a son also to give him a childhood free of scrutiny and expectations of self also. They are children and I want to be a parent they can have as a support net, no matter what. Never feel afraid to talk and be close with the family. I want my children to know they are loved and cared for no matter what and confidence that they can always be the best versions of themselves. Parents guide children when they're lost in their learning, I want to be there as their post.
If I don't have one or the other then so be it! I'm not going to put that on my children in spite because I couldn't produce one gender, that's my problem not theirs.
I can't imagine being jealous or vindictive of the beautiful children you give birth to for any reason. They didn't ask to be brought into the world so why make it their problem? Make it the best you can for them while you can because like our own parents, we're going to pass one day too. I'd rather have a lot of fantastic memories to leave them with and when I pass I want them to feel confident in who they are without their parents guidance.
the pickme connection is so real--if you swap out "mom" with "best friend" in a lot of their posts it's nearly indistinguishable
I think son might work better but maybe I haven’t really thought it enough yet
It’s the pickme-boy mom-monster in law pipeline
She confused Tomboy for Pick-me. She was a pick-me growing up and never learned how to make connections with girls and woman her ages growing up. She was so focused on attention from the boys and men that she never learned herself. Poor daughters who are stuck with this for a mother. I am rooting for all of you.
When your son gets married, he sails away to the Undying Lands, never to be seen in the world of mortals again
He will diminish and go into the west
he will cross the dangerous seas
Up up and away
I love LOTR
Tuor son of Huor vibes
As someone with a girl mom who was creepy in exactly this way, it really doesn't have anything to do with the children, what gender they are, or what sexuality the parent is. It's just an issue of gross people wanting a child who they think can never reject their love to function as their romantic partner. Covert incest is really common in emotionally abusive households, I think it's just a symptom of bad people with no boundaries or respect for children having kids
the problem isnt that it can occur to any parent regardless of the gender, the problem is that MAJORITY of boy moms are like this more than girl moms. just the statistics, nothing more
@@reyphobicalso how would you know what the statistics are? This has been talked about online for a year or more but is not an existing or valid psychological phenomenon and it’s not like there are studies about it. If you’re basing it on anecdotal evidence of what you think you’ve seen most of online, consider that gender politics and the algorithm can push certain concepts and skew your perspective on the real world
@@reyphobicsorry if that sounds harsh but you can’t make shit up and pretend like you said something
@@maddieb.4282 so im making stuff up now? seems that you’ve clearly been living under a rock and haven’t witnessed boy moms frequently. social media is full of them too, add them all up and im pretty confident they’re in a greater amount than girl moms. im not saying the latter doesn’t exist, but cmon, its pretty obvious who the majority is and don’t give me the “you don’t know” bullcrap. it’s just how it is, embrace it. pointless denial will get you nowhere. i know your comment wasn’t intended to be harsh and i apologise if mine comes off that way but im just speaking from the research and experience ive faced.
@@maddieb.4282hey this has most certainly been a talked about and existing phenomenon since well before a "year or so". i noticed it as a child in the 90's at school and thought it was hella weird. then in the early 2000's my stepmom had my half brothers and she is exactly the toxic boy mom stereotype. it's called emotional incest and most certainly has been psychologically studied so idk what you're on about. just because something has taken on a new term that blew up in popularity (aka emotional incest turning into "toxic boy mom") doesn't mean it didn't previously exist, wasn't previously discussed, or hasn't been scientifically studied. not sure if you're just new to the internet or the earth, or...? where do you think the psycho mother in law trope was born from? that's been around for many many decades. it takes two seconds to google something to find valid studies about emotional incest that is predominantly mother-son. sorry if it sounds harsh but you can't just make shit up and pretend like you said something. ❤
I had a boy, that became a girl and turns out I didn't love her any differently just because she ended up being a girl. These gender moms are so weird
❤
❤ ur dream mom. You both lucky to have each other ❤
dream mom, ik that’s low key the bare minimum but it’s crazy how many mothers wouldn’t do what you did ❤
Aww your daughter is so lucky to have a supportive mum ❤
as a trans person thank you for accepting your daughter people dont realize how rare it is for trans people to have accepting and loving parents!! ❤
Dude I'm gonna meet my bf's mom for the first time in a few months, and I am TERRIFIED. He talked about my cooking once, and she went "mmm...but did she make the pasta noodles from scratch?" And when he said no, but it doesn't matter, she went "then ig she didn't really cook anything". LIKE WTFFFF
girl if he doesn’t stand up for you i stg….
did you single-handedly forge the cutlery and create the plates for the food to go on?
it's like you didn't even go into the KITCHEN! come on, dude!
did you got out back and butcher the chicken yourself? smh
I mean cmon you didn't pamper her baby boy with gourmet hand made 3 Michellin star dish unforgivable..
You're telling me you didn't carve the dining chairs and table out of wood and screw them together before serving his meal? That's literally the bare minimum smh 😔..
wurld do not drink gasoline.
But honestly is smells so good, like I would sno- I mean what
Its too expensive to waste drinking anyway. Drink coolant
(This is a joke, i do not endorse drinking coolant. Or gas.)
@@wolvie1618 (I do though)
@@wolvie1618 yeah you're right I'd rather drink fabuloso instead
@@tea5687the blue is my favorite flavor🤤
She said it!!! Exactly what I was thinking! BOY MOMS OVERLAP THE PICK MES! It’s soooo strange to me- especially that little “giving my son away” post!!!
If you replace being there for your boy best friend you secretly love but you’re just apart of the bros and seeing him leave for college- GIVES THE SAME ASS VIBES!
The entire thing is rooted in sexism (duh) . Aside from the can of worms that is them losing their identity as a woman as soon as they become a mother, the idea that daughters are somehow lesser than is from the yee ol' days (King Henry the 8th ring any bells?)
These types of women usually view the peak of life as being a wife and mother, the father giving the daughter away as the best moment (which btw-stems from him literally GIVING HER AWAY in arranged marriages).
So when they have a son, they don't view a future baby maker, they view a man who could be a football player or a CEO or whatever.
Aside from the whole competition aspect (which again is rooted in misogyny as toxic relationships as normal) this whole idea of sons over daughters goes all the way back to King Can't-Keep-A-Wife wanting a son to have a heir to the throne to Lucinda on Facebook excitedly chatting away about how she can finally do 'boy activities' with her son
Fun fact! The ye in ye olde things is actually a fun alphabet thing! Because the ‘English’ alphabet did not carry over a single letter for the th sound, people used the letter hat looked the closest to the original letter for th. This letter ended up being Y. So any time you see “ye” it actually should be read “the”!
also its rooted in pedophilia, but some people ain't ready to have that conversation.
Thank you for calling out King Henry the 8th. Not just because this relates to the topic but also because I hate him.
@@elfi643I knew that it’s funny how language evolves and how alphabets form
do people not know that female infants used to be murdered because they were female- idk if it was a worldwide phenomenon, but in china/south asia female infants would left outside to die, or they would straight up be murdered by someone. probably around the same time king henry was being a stupid idiot. i guess white people history is more widely known but i thought everyone knew about this cause it was so messed up. king henry was a saint compared to what went on amongst commoners.
I couldn't stand to date a guy whose mom thinks she's his partner. Obviously, treat your mom with respect and care, but there is a boundary that should just not be crossed. I have 20/20 vision when it comes to those red flags
treat ACTUAL moms that way
If she acts like this she is EVIL, not your mom
Blood means NOTHING in this case
About the second mom, I hateee when people assume that one cannot love everyone important to them equally. They act like there’s this invisible ranking of “who’s most important” and it’s so stupid. Sure, her son has committed to a romantic relationship for life with a woman he loves romantically. Does that impact his familial love for his mother? No! Loving one more person does not take away love stored for another. We are not containers with limited space for love in our hearts.
the "boy mom" thing is so funny to me because i'm a transgender man, older brother of a cis man. my mom was a "boy mom" to my little brother and the difference was very crazy growing up. my mom was very open about how my brother, her "true" son was her favorite and she would defend him with all she had. the beginning of my transition was really hard because i've always felt like a boy and did "boy things" all my life but my mom did the thing where she thought she had to grieve the daughter i never was. about 6 years after i came out the situation's very different and changed for the better but i think there was lowkey some grief and anger on her side that my brother was no longer the only son and "boy".
in my mom's case it never was to the point of emotional incest with my younger brother, thankfully, but she did a lot of the "boy mom" things, especially with my brother being the youngest. i'm glad my mom is now quite far from this mindset and has learned to accept me despite how unconventional my existence is. i hope the boy moms posting those things on social media will mature and realize that posting these things are harmful.
I was confused how that would work. If she seems transphobic, would she support ur brother if he came out as trans bc she saw him as a boy before?
@jacepawplayz OP is the trans brother, their younger brother is a cis (biological) man.
@@Kyndall_Marie25 ik but what if the cow younger brother was transfem how would the mom react
@@1EmuFanit would probably be an even more violent (not like, actually physically violent- just like, more extreme) response because she’s idolized him for (in this scenario, assuming he was a trans girl) someone he (would be she) isn’t/wasn’t
i can’t say for certain or anything, but i feel like she would be even more upset because of internalized sexism (everyone has it- it’s why so many people see women as less than men, in many different senses of the word. it’s also one reason trans women receive the most hate out of the trans community- people don’t understand why a biological male would “want to” [being trans isn’t a choice, but transphobes treat it like it is] be a woman because they see it as going down the social ladder/social hierarchy)
i think that she (the mom) might actually be worse to her son (would be daughter) in a situation like that, which would (oddly) probably make OP [commenter] into the favorite, partially due to resentment and partially due to clinging onto the last “semblance of a son” (OP’s mom doesn’t seem to accept him [commenter], which will impact the way she treats him regardless of it being this scenario or not) she has.
i’m a trans-masc enby, so i can’t speak for the experience of trans women, but a lot of them probably have experiences similar to this and i would def recommend listening to their life stories first hand, because they’ll do far better than i ever could. trans women are the glue that hold our community together ( _especially_ black trans women)
@@Meeshilin_Man he”s the older brother the brother is the younger one
The crazy thing about boymom is that they'll proudly admit that they value thier daughter so much less right to their face. Not very stratégique if you want your child to still be your child after not needing your roof anymore.
(sorry for my silly french girl grammar)
I heard about the elections, hope y’all don’t end up like italy
@@West_Coast_Mainlinecomin in from the future to say that thankfully they didn't.
I don’t understand this at alllll. As a mom, I absolutely love my son, he’s nearly ten and such a doll, he’s great! But I just had a baby girl, and my husband and I were ecstatic from the moment she came into the world. Every day I’m just so thrilled to see who she’s slowly growing to become, and my son makes me proud with what a great human he is- responsible, sweet, and very kind.
I don’t understand why I would love either of my kids more due to their gender 😭 I just want them to be good people who treat others as they want to be treated like, isn’t that enough??
Yeah, I understand the concept of “i already have a daughter so now i would like to have a son (or viceversa)” to, you know, experience the entire scope of raising a child, or whatever…
But like being FULL ON destroyed and disappointed that you are having 2 daughters, and mourning the boy you’re never gonna have, like…. That’s a bit m u c h
The problem is that these parents think of their kids as possessions instead of living beings that have their own autonomous lives. You're not 'giving away' anything, because you do not own your child. People are not objects to be given and taken.
4:35 someone please tell this woman to STAND UP!!!! Not only does it sound like its about an ex boyfriend instead of her son, but its also giving Wattpad 😐
to stand up????
Gasoline smell lovers unite ⛽️❤
My grandma took it one step further and actively tried to raise me to be my grandpa's replacement. It was fun watching her go on a nearly religious tirade over the judge issuing a court order over her making me sleep in the same bed with her. Nowadays she calls me a traitor to anyone who will listen because I took my independence back and started dating.
Yikes! Glad you put your foot down!
Need a third circle for the mom's who have several kids with different dads who shit on the kid who they had with their least favourite ex. Like they hold the fact the one dad was a POS to them over the child's head like its their fault. Usually shitting on the daughters of these men over the sons of them.
The tomboy thing is so weird because I grew up as a tomboy but I always wanted a daughter LOL.
Tbh tho I have been leaning towards no kids. Rather spend on traveling.
Omg me too! Wish you luck on your future travels!
Because it was the wrong term. Tomboys aren’t pick-me’s and being one doesn’t lead to wanted sons > daughters. 😅
my mom accidentally calls me “babe” sometimes and it makes me SO uncomfortable. im 99% sure shes one of these…
I'd say tell her to stop, if she loves you & respects your boundaries then she'd understand. But if she doesn't... she's definitely a toxic boy mom
Definitely talk to her is it makes you uncomfortable. That being said, that's not necessarily a weird thing to call your kid. I obviously don't know your circumstances so maybe there's more to it, but I don't want you to think something is strange just because of some people on the Internet.
@@chevvy427 she doesn’t call me it normally but the only other person she refers to as “babe” is my stepdad
@@hypnozpie4071 That might be weird if you have siblings and you're the only one she does that to. Otherwise that's probably something she only calls family, which would be why you don't hear her call many other people that.
Raising a boy vs raising a girl is basically different in exclusively 1 way.
1: The Puberty Talk.
That's it, really.
Any good parent should be teaching their kids things equally about things like predatory behavior, keeping themselves safe, basic good manners, and situational etiquette. None of these are specifically for any one type of kid.
All things at an age appropriate level ofc, but that's gonna be different for every child, but a good rule would be that ALL those topics get a review before something like sending a kid to a new year if school, and ESPECIALLY reviewed if you decide to start introducing new Internet Freedoms to your child.
1 way? U haven't raised either and it shows
@@mrpickles-hb6zxliterally all the other ways you're thinking of are gonna be cultural. the puberty talk is primarily biological.
@@mrpickles-hb6zxThat's really the only *mandatory* way. Most other ways are cultural and probably culturally or situayionally influenced.
I mean, puberty in general, not just the talk, but definitely yeah.
@@mrpickles-hb6zx If you raise your children differently depending on their gender, you're part of the problem
It's genuinely upsetting when I think of the lives these boys will have. It can only end two ways: the boys expect every woman to mother them or they have to cut contact with their actual mothers.
Eh, no. It can end a variety of ways, with other ways of this ending being dudes moving on to having healthy lives and relationships despite how their mothers raised then.
Not everyone reacts to what can be made out to be abuse the same way.
toxic boy moms make me physically cringe i cant do this anymore. thank you for speaking on this subject on behalf of the daughters affected by the toxic boy moms
according to my mother, my grandma on my dad side who helped raise me and my brothers was very emotionally incestuous with my father. It was not a fun time when she died!
Did you ever get that law and order bag...
no.
@@WURLDSTAR boooo🍅🍅
bive pfp 🫵
REGRETEVATOR PFP
@@WURLDSTARboooooo
I hate when their excuse is “I was a tomboy when I grew up” like dude I’m butch asl and don’t want kids but if I had to choose I’d pick a daughter but I’d love a boy or a girl either way
Idk still weird to care about what the gender of your child will be to the point of being like “Well I would prefer my child to be X gender, but if they weren’t” Like why does it matter?
@@pathetic2399 I’m so so so sorry I offended you :( I hope you feel better
Remembers when "boy mom" just used to mean a mother who only had sons and not mom whos obsessed with her sons 😭
My older cousin, Colton, had sa’d me in my sleep and took photos of me in my sleep, and also had 2000 photos of child 🌽 on his computer and talked about taking me to a city with two older guys and then leaving me there after r4ping me. And when he even said he was guilty in court, his mother, Melanie, tried to defend him. Toxic boy moms are evil.
Wow I am so sorry I hope you can find healing. That is so sad and it’s evil that should we would try defending his disgusting actions.
And think not that Allah is unaware of what the oppressors do. He only grants them respite until the day the eyes will stare in horror.
[QURAN, 14:42]
I was a High School teacher.... I WAS... These moms exist, and "Mommy's li'l man" is more frightening than anyone might want to imagine or confront 😳
Thank you for bringing this light.
My mother is a HS teacher as well. One of these boy moms threatened to get her k!lled and brought all the teachers to court for "wrongfully failing" her son's grades. Her son only went to school nearly 5 times a month and she told them he could do nothing wrong and the teachers probably only disliked his son so that's why they failed them 😭 it was such a messy situation that lasted for months. The school teachers had to get police escorts to make sure nothing happened to them :(
3:02 Not to answer the least important question asked here but the fake engagement ring is probably so she doesn’t lose her real wedding ring while she travels. Like it was probably just chilling in her jewelry box or whatever. Still a nasty ass post 😭
Yes! Or some single woman wear them so that ppl hopefully don’t hit on them
most women wear fake rings so they dont get hit on - especially by crazy creeps who blow their gasket the second they get a "no"
the aita post made me so mad at the SIL. like what twilight zone is this???? disgusting. doesnt help the fact my bf has to put up with being afab with 3 brothers and horrible parents + mom being a boymom. i hate these freaks. THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN, LOVE AND CARE FOR THEM, BUT DO NOT BE CREEPY OR SEXIST LIKE THAT TO UR OWN KIDS?? TF?
According to google (so i may be wrong), several of the chemicals found in gasoline are also found in perfumes. Benzene, toulene, etc. are (maybe) common chemicals the two share. To our brains these chemicals smell aromatic and appealing. Perfumes on purpose, gasoline not (i hope).
terpenes
The worst thing is, 9/10 times the son wont feel like he can even say anything to his mother out of guilt and feeling horrible and to thegirl it can feel horrible
The tradition of fathers giving their daughters away literally is based on traditions around the transfer of property. I guess parents generally view their children as an extension of themselves, especially with boymoms, but still
My friend’s mom is a boy mom and it is TERRIFYING like it’s not just cringe, creepy or gross, it is literally MORTIFYING
Edit: I just got some more tea! His sister says their mom still makes him call her mommy/mama 😭😭
This is too true, especially for single moms of males. The daughters are usually pushed through life on speed mode while the mom spends their time coddling the boys into co-dependency. Moms expect so much more from the girls than boys. I'm not too sure if I should be appreciative or jealous of my mom's and brother's bond. I'm a workaholic with everything in line and he's still home with a job, but no bills, doesn't clean up or feed himself, and my mom makes sure his car is paid and tank full. "He doesn't know any better", she says as he stands there with the dumbest grin and the latest pair of Jordans🤣🤣 BTW I'm 30 and he's 25.
This reminds me a lot of my auntie’s relationship with her mum 💀
She was the second born, and her mum literally told her she was an accident, while their first born was a boy.
They literally gave their son EVERYTHING, and i mean everything, he was treated like a prince his whole life.
My auntie? They literally gave her to her grandma the moment she was born, and left her there till she turned 10 years old. They wouldn’t even visit her for more than 2 weeks during the holidays.
By the time they decided to actually raise her she felt completely disconnected from them, and ended up getting married young to the wrong guy just to get out of there and feel loved, i guess…
And they would also constantly criticise her for not being as academically gifted as her brother
The funny thing is, the son was an actual angel.
Like from the moment he met her he treated her like a sister, he would buy her gifts all the time, help her with her homework, take her on vacation with him (cause he was quite older, like, he was 16 when she was 10), like he truly loved her and she was head over hills for him
@@sarads7877 Its crazy to think about, some women have children and have no love at all for them but need them later in life.
“He doesn’t know any better” Yeah, cause his mother never taught him anything. What exactly does she expect him to do when she’s older and can no longer support him?
@@sarads7877I’m glad that her brother was actually good to her. Gosh, that’s sweet.
if bell hooks was alive and a video essayist, we would get a masterpiece on boy moms. But ur vid was also really fun and amazing bojack reference. I love lobotomy😊
you're literally the funniest youtuber i've ever watched, you could read a fricking dictionary and i'd watch the whole thing 😭😭😭😭
my mother isn't a toxic boy mom, but both my parents favor my brother and often let everything out on me and apologize to my brother for the inconvenience.
0:32 caught the Twenty One Pilots lyric. It's from Chlorine😭
Finally, my 10 years of being a TØP stan has been put to use.
people actually cross the O
Making Freud dougie is his grave is crazy
yeah, this is why my mum is so bent out of shape that I worked out with some help I have a gender incongruence so started hrt and affirming my correct gender. now she toxic boy mumming my son instead. eeeeeek. he's an adult, has his own life and such, so he can maybe watch this vid and then go and puke and start thinking about creating a life of his own.
You've made it funny, but it's all pretty messed up right here. lol.
signed ya'girl rosie
have a good day rosie, i'm sorry that your mother is such a piece of work. congratulations on finding yourself!
@@spagheleton thanks!! we don't choose our parents, but we can choose move on from their bullsh...
I just found your channel
As a story board artist I know a thing or two about reading scripts and implementing them into art. You’re doing the same ~ your scripts, tone of voice, punchlines, and overall delivery of your videos made me think you’re like 22-25 bc of how well spoken your videos are- like you’re sense of humor is so good and you’re entertaining af to listen to- you made me wanna stay for the whole video fr great story telling of such a crazy ass topic. Keep this shit up 👀🙌🏻
ong this is so nice, thank you so much !!!! 😭❤️ (also i’m 22 so you’re right on the money)
I hope these toxic boy moms are aware that children see favouritism. No matter how subtle. The worst part about my dad admitting that he liked my brother better is that I wasn't even surprised.
Nah, they literally go “they’ll get over it” 🙄
Theres definitely a link between toxic boy moms and the patriarchal requirement of providing their husbands with an heir
No but the marriage post you were talking about is insane though. I don't get why they think that their relationship with their son vs their son's relationship with their partner is a competition. Love isn't a tier list where one person is at the top, love comes in so many different forms and fills different niches depending on a relationship. Boy moms are weird.
Also, your channel is fantastic. Been binging all your videos after being recommended your last one.
Everyone already basically ragged on the toxic boy moms and I agree. But, I want to add this instead: if you are one of those daughters, you are important, just as important as any boy, man, other woman, other girls, etc, anyone basically. You deserve love and just as much given to a boy. I am sorry that your family failed you but it is not your fault.
When I was pregnant last year I would have a lot of women hope on my behalf it was a boy . It was creepy some even having daughters as well z like poor kids I can’t imagine their home life
My mother is a pretty awesome and has never been a boy Mom but there’s one thing that she does that makes me extremely uncomfortable that I feel that might kind of relate to this. One day I was changing in my room as usual and my mom walk in and I wasn’t wearing a shirt and she said
”your chest is bigger than mine when I was your age” which I guess it was trying to be a compliment? Another thing is Christmas Eve of 2023. She told one of my relatives that I had bigger boobs than she did when she was my age. I find these statements really weird because she got breast implants. But that’s me.
Yeah things are also weird with girl moms. I've heard a couple of stories too.
that isn't weird
Boy moms are ALWAYS worried about their sons future girlfriend/wife but what if he grows up to be gay?? 😭
Y'ugh, this discussion is all over TikTok, so I'm glad it's now coming to RUclips. This has always bothered me, and am exceptionally glad that my mother never acted like this with us. Though she does get weird about my brother's female partners, that being said, she also gets weird about my male partners as well. To me, it's a trust thing and rooted maternal instinct. This other nonsense however is pathological and disturbing, both between mothers and sons, as well as fathers and daughters. It's all weird. Humans are weird.
For what it's worth, you weren't a bad kid. You were just a child. You're not responsible for your mother's reaction ❤
Actually I'm glad my momma didn't love me. I'm good actually.
oh my god glad you're good tho
It's the blatant gaslighting from her brother and sister in law for me. 2:26
for the gasoline question .. when i was a kid i got into a freak gas station incident where gas got sprayed on me. it tastes like your mouth is on fire and melting and you’re dying 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Being the only daughter who was also the middle child of a Pick Me Boy Mom is literally why I don't talk to her anymore in adulthood.
Toxic incarnate.
Shouldn’t parents be…happy about their child finding a partner?
Those aren't parents, they're masters. They didn't have kids, they had little minions. It's a control thing for them.
i hate hate HATE the way people on tiktok hate girl cats and LOVE their boy cats as if there is a difference between them.. not related to the video but still...
My girl cat currently sleeping like a flour of sack on my equally knocked out out husband's arse, while the boy cat is chewing at the venetian blinds' drawstring and looks up at me every 5 seconds to see if I'm reacting or no, because there's no nightstand drawer here to pry open at night, or a printer to turn on to provoke us out of bed. I love the old cooter, I don't think he has much left in him, but between the two elderly cats, if I had to pick which one I loved more, I genuinely cannot, but if I had to pick which cat I liked more RIGHT NOW, I'm choosing the hairy flour of sack. I'll pay attention to you the moment you stop dicking around and come and sit next to my table and look up at me for 10 seconds like a good, calm boy. Not when you're trying to provoke me!
@@Killjoy_Mel i love you this reply is just amazing
What? This actually happens!!?
For real like, it's already ridiculous to apply gender norms to children, but cats? Animals? They literally don't care about this human bs. Animals aren't stupid like us.
Adding my own life story, I know my mom was a toxic boy mom 😭😭😭. I was the first child, not a boy so obviously my mom decided to tell me “I wish you were a boy” when ever she pleased, and after having a my sister (who she still treated substantially better and favored…) she had my brother. Needless to say she was ecstatic. Still abused all three of us though. And I turned out to be a trans man. Coulda stopped while you were ahead, but nooooo. Now she’s rotting somewhere 😭😭😭
Anyway point is toxic boy moms are no fucking joke and it is truely as disgusting to witness first hand as it is for those who haven’t. 😭😭😭
I’m glad it’s getting talked about atleast 😭😭😭😭😭
I feel fear of boy moms…
Why aren’t they arrested?!
This should be a crime.
You really had to rub salts into that fresh wound like I know Matpat is gone
As a trans person, this video was hard to sit through because these boy moms are sooooo annoying. Like the weird bio essentialsm, obvious, and completely undisguised preoccupation with gender roles (& gender binary) get so on my nerves. Oh yeah not to mention THE EMOTIONAL INC3CT!!! WAYY too much to unpack. I LOVED that u mentioned Bojack though.
PSA to all boy moms: Let go of your sons. They are not your property or your lover, they are individuals who deserve to experience freedom and individuality from your smothering clutches. Stop ruining your kid for your own selfish reasons and let them go be in the world, without you. And be nice to your daughters why tf you see them as “competitors” do you hear how that sounds?!!
Toxic boy moms make me so goddamn uneasy w/ how utterly obsessed they are w/ their sons I’ve seen some creep ass unsettling videos of these moms saying such creepy outlandish shit that absolutely had an incestuous vibe to it I feel for those poor boys who’ll only grow up resenting their moms if not also being afraid & traumatized by their moms it’s an epidemic that needs to be taken seriously these moms need serious help & so do those boys
There are differences before puberty. Girls seem sweet and calm and talk sooner and aren’t as crazy. All of my nieces are so sweet. Sure they cry and have their tantrums like all toddlers. But while my niece is chillin watching TV or coloring, my son is busy jumping off the chair.
Lol I’m obviously exaggerating and being reductionist. Doesn’t help my boys probably have ADHD like me. But still, I would loved to have a little girl. But I love my boys just the same.
video rocked! Off topic but have you ever considered voice acting? :0c you have CRAZY range its awesome
My mom is a toxic boy mom, i think. or its just plain Asian misogyny, i cant really tell. but she favors my brother over me, a lot. has less expectation for him, yadda yadda, more rewarding towards him, gives him praises. I wouldn't feel that bad if he was my younger, younger brother, but we were fucking twins. So i did what every vengeful daughter would normally do, i turned my brother against her. were 19 now, out of the house because of my father, she's still crazy, crazier than she was before, she never found out of what i did, i didn't keep my brother in the dark about what i did and he actually thank me because he's afraid of becoming a spoiled man child. he still gets allowance from her, and shares it with me.
ps. my parents are divorced because my mother is physically abusive towards my father
so many tøp references in this one
the announcement of their new album is releasing the demon that has always lurked inside me
@@WURLDSTARdid u get tickets to clancy ‼️‼️‼️
@@oxvincentvangothxoi did! i am so broke now! :D
@@WURLDSTAR ME TOO SIS 😭😭
Yes we are.
I dated a guy with a toxic boy mom
When I broke up with him she drove him to my house to drop off a letter asking for me back and blah blah blah.
Bro i literally saw him at school the same day
I had a big long comment and I thought it was kind of interesting, but maybe it's too complicated and came across weird. so here's another big long comment just to hopefully kind of fill the same amount of space I guess? also, maybe this is good for the algorithm. I just came across this RUclipsr recently, she's real, clever and funny. oh my point is I'm not saying anything, this is an empty comment. this is just
0:29 chlorine moment (I go feral for that song) (person who hasnt listened to chlorine in many months)
TWENTY ONE PILOTS MENTIONEDDD‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
IF U CANT SEE I AM CLANKY🗣️🗣️🗣️
Girl I love you. The “not all men” part cracked me up.
i’ve literally just been binge watching ur videos while doing all my laundry lmao💀💀 ur so funny and real im glad i found your channel!!
hi new viewer. i sat there wondering for a solid moment after the "i'll be his second best girl" how boy moms would react to their sons having daughters (because then she'd be "his THIRD best girl") and then i remembered that yes, they are just as weird about them too. have you HEARD the amount of mils who are like "my baby! let me hold my baby!" and completely disrespect the wife/new mom ughhhh
These moms are so damn weird. There should be a study with dads and their daughters too cuz some of that stuff is a lil past “she’s just my babygirl I gotta protect her” too lmfaooo
You are my wurld queen ✨💅🏻
Who gets shotgun between wife and mom? As the wife, I say mom, cause mom’s hips ain’t what they used to be and front is easier. But I’m the driver, so hubby sits in back while his mom takes front. xP
There two mom boys.
One mom will teach their sons how to cook, clean, and help them out when needed, also teach them how to treat a woman with respect and kindness towards her buy if she is rude or very toxic towards him, he has a right to leave from her (only if she very toxic).
The other Mom who teach their sons how to be rude towards women and tell him that he is the true master of the house and cheers him on to be Abusive towards his Ex wife until she grow a backbone and leaves him, etc, etc, and the mom wondered why she didn't habe any grandchildren.
Do you see the differences?
The first one doesn't sound all that bad except for the "I gave away being his number one girl" and "You will become his second best girl" like....ew, no grown woman should be calling herself a "girl" especially toward her son. Pretty weird, but all of the other sentiments are pretty normal once you're a parent, it's a pretty deep love and there is a deep sense of loss when your child becomes their own adult and leaves the nest. Daughters tend to stay close to mom and involve her in the birth of grand baby (obviously, the daughter is the one going through surgery) while boys tend to drift away from mom once hitting adulthood (if they aren't momma boys) I find the grief expressed in the post and the reminder to squeeze your son a little tighter is justified....this lady just made it weird and incestuous with the "girl" comments
obviously i don't know you personally but you seem like you would be very fun to hang around :)
I wasna tomboy growing up, and now im a very masculine guy. Honestly i cant wait to be a parent either way, but when i think of it in my head, its always a daughter. I like more girl names than boy names...
But I honestly think its because i have many more strong women in my family than men. I dont prefer girls to boys, its just easier to imagine it the way I've seen it my whole life.
I remember when I was a kid my grandma used to give me water instead of juice like my cousins because ‘the sugar would give me acne’ and even to this day she tells me I should stop drinking sugar because of my acne
My mum was one of these toxic boy mums. It was horrible. She treated him so much better than my sister and I. Everyone defended her saying it was because he was the youngest. But even when he was older she still treated him better than us.
YAY! I have a video to clean my room too, and it’s a topic I’m interested in. Have a great day WURLD
love your vids!!! youre too underrated
The solo win on Fortnite being with Goku made me laugh so much 💀
he’s my good luck charm 🤞🏾
i grew up a tomboy but alawys wanted daughters. I would have like 5 kids all girls if i could.
Side note: I feel like the scenario you posed of moms defending their kids is less an unconditional love problem and more an unconditional SUPPORT problem. Parents should love their children unconditionally... always.
"we dont love our daughter very much"
"you're weird"
"HOW DARE YOU"
Heteronormativity is its own genre of horror
OMG i cackled (plus, i was insufferable as a 15 year old as well but i digress)!!! Waaaaaaay back in 2005, there was an episode of Arrested Development called "Motherboy XXX" that spoke on this exact topic. Lucille Bluth planned on taking her grown son, Buster Bluth, to the 30th iteration of the event and the title of the episode could not be more spot on! I now think of Toxic Boy Moms when i hear lines like "Oh god! Not that 'i'm in love with my mother' dance again" or - in reference to the costume portion of the event - "you have to get on your knees to zip it up, Michael"! This was hysterical and keep creating great content 🥰🫶🏼❣️