So that's the problem with society when People take on that victim state. Don't take the responsibility for the wrong they did regardless of why they did it. Anything we do that's wrong is wrong no matter what circumstances.
I refuse to be victimized...my choices have lead up to the events that have taken place...I chose the abusive jerks I got into every relationship with ..I have felt the consequences...I know what I will not accept in my life any longer .
Even though you are indeed taking action to save yourself, it shouldn't be this way. Men should be taking care of your heart. Im sorry so many have failed you.
You are probably 'thee' ''most'' honest, down to earth, professional, humble, 'real' YT'br who speaks of ''such things'' [ that said, I am referring to all of your content/all your videos] ~ I also love how you share ''real life'' examples & are willing to admit your shortcomings .... that - takes GUTS, someone who is ACCOUNTABLE to self & others & HAS PUT 'EGO' ASIDE ! Bottom line, ... in this 'world today that we live in' - that is ***HUGE*** !!!! So, Thank-you, for being YOU !! On a side note, YOU ARE the 1st person to [finally] go ''in-depth'' about the TRUTH of the Victim Mentality & how they get ''all the attention'' - as you know, sadly, so many people are totally fooled by these people : ( Again, Thank-you for sharing such quality content - I [& I know, soooo many others] have been BLESSED by your channel ! Most Sincerely, Cindy : )
I'm glad about your classes. You are definitely worth the hourly rate, but its out of most peoples range. I watch your videos on the daily. Its better than most of the therapy I've been through. And so honest and hopeful. I'm not sure its about shame as much as fear of dealing with the emotional wreckage. When I book a session, I'm sure you'll have my life in order from house, to wardrobe to interpersonal skills.
Thank you for your kind words. I understand that not everyone can afford some of my services. That is why I offer a wide range of resources for people of all financial backgrounds. I highly recommend trying out my free Emotional Mastery masterclass as it teaches you how to conquer your worst day cycle. thegreatnessu.com/courses
Kenny I just wanted to thank you. I find your vulnerability in your imperfections inspiring and humorous at the same time. Thanks for showing how life can be through your presence!
Ooh great explanation and something I have to work out. Thank you. I've been trying to learn from not being the victim and wasn't sure what that looked like so this is so good for me to understand.
Please do a video about why someone would take a simple remark and make a huge hell of an argument.. and basically go crazy.. and the remarks was not even mean .. but they made it that way.. I don't understand after me being soooo nice to them waiting on them hand and foot.. walking on eggs shells yet I'm wrong I don't get it!!!!
Does it mean I’ve already done the work if I’m not blaming them or shaming them.. I acknowledge I have a pattern of being attracted to narcissists mostly because I do feel for them, intrigued by them and I admit at times thought I could help them… but I really just wanted them to self reflect and take ownership of their toxic behaviors. I just need to realize I don’t ‘have’ to stick around to put up with it. It’s really hard to have conversations when you acknowledge your part and the other person just won’t. It’s incredibly invalidating
Wish shame or hurt feelings could be discussed way more, idk bcz it is critical and gets to the point opening irresponsible eyes Easier ways to work with it
I love your videos Kenny. You are so on point. I'd love to meet you some time, you've helped me so much and you continue to. Question about a thought I had. Would I be correct in saying that a healthy relationship is predominantly an interactive one where a relationship with a narcissist is a reactive one...feeling as if you are on the defensive all the time? Feeling like you constantly have to defend your character because no matter what you do...here comes the condemnation and the shaming. I love your reality analysis. I will use that. Very very helpful Kenny. Thank you again. Now I'm going to rewatch this. Have a great day.
Hi agree but I had a job etc when I met the narcisist, I became dependable and became a child, I was kept there in a victim position and I could not leave the pain was to big to leave that person (guilt and shame I felt when I was leaving).
Please give up examples in these tutorials. Childhood shame- vicious remarks? Mocking? "I wish you were never born; too bad you look like your father's side with a big nose; why are you a dummy?" I feel like I'm missing the last bit of information.
So the solution is to master my emotions- to understand my emotions? And at the same time not defend myself and not fight back? And also not share it with anybody? I dont get.. I feel I need to fight back because otherwise it stucks inside - all negative emotions..and I even doubt my own perception.. I mean - not fight back by blaming the other but telling the truth out loud..
The solution is to care ONLY ABOUT YOURSELF. Don't give a shit what HAPPENS to him/ her or what they say. Leave , disappear no forwarding address no phone numbers. If you WORRY about ANYTHING about them. YOU ARE CHOOSING TO BE THIER SLAVE/ PUNCHING BAG and you get what you allow
Folks we are not messed up most of us were never shamed as kids . we just met the wrong person end of story. He’s is way off the mark he found a niche ,this is his story not the majority ... if this is your story do the work learn their issues ,and get out . this victim versus victim shit is wrong
@@lo-ul8nq will you come and get me my kids back because the I feel how will I fight because he is so tactful and intelligent that I lose fight in my mind before I can actually take up the fight to the court . When I hear that the court does not understand what and who the Narcissist is and do not accept the report from a psychologist on their behaviour
This is the exact thing he is talking about. Victim mentality. Please just take the first step. Find good people in your life you can trust. If not seek out professional help. Or read more resources online or even better do all of the above. Talk about ur situation and seek help.
Healing comes only when you realize what was going on with you .
Healing starts when you walk away from the narcissist. One year of misery and finally found these videos. Thank god!
So that's the problem with society when People take on that victim state. Don't take the responsibility for the wrong they did regardless of why they did it. Anything we do that's wrong is wrong no matter what circumstances.
My wife's a mess, she makes up things as we go along. I'm seeing a therapist soon , you gave me great information thank you so much sir
My eldest sister is a pathological narcissist. She was the "golden child" in our family, she wasn't shamed.
I refuse to be victimized...my choices have lead up to the events that have taken place...I chose the abusive jerks I got into every relationship with ..I have felt the consequences...I know what I will not accept in my life any longer .
Even though you are indeed taking action to save yourself, it shouldn't be this way. Men should be taking care of your heart. Im sorry so many have failed you.
I didn't have a shame core, they wanted me to have that.
Thank you for being so real and deep❤❤❤
Truth …. ACA and Narcissism and Codependency/ self love deficiency understanding has helped me see Me. ❤️
Purple pillow, purple painting, purple shirt 💜 this man has style
You are probably 'thee' ''most'' honest, down to earth, professional, humble, 'real' YT'br who speaks of ''such things'' [ that said, I am referring to all of your content/all your videos] ~
I also love how you share ''real life'' examples & are willing to admit your shortcomings .... that - takes GUTS, someone who is ACCOUNTABLE to self & others & HAS PUT 'EGO' ASIDE ! Bottom line, ... in this 'world today that we live in' - that is ***HUGE*** !!!! So, Thank-you, for being YOU !!
On a side note, YOU ARE the 1st person to [finally] go ''in-depth'' about the TRUTH of the Victim Mentality & how they get ''all the attention'' - as you know, sadly, so many people are totally fooled by these people : (
Again, Thank-you for sharing such quality content - I [& I know, soooo many others] have been BLESSED by your channel !
Most Sincerely, Cindy : )
Facts.
Hearing you reference yourself gave me a sense of relief and courage to turn within myself when I feel the same; tysm.
Kenny, this is DEEP!
Containment, and "losing containment" would be a great video topic.
I'm glad about your classes. You are definitely worth the hourly rate, but its out of most peoples range. I watch your videos on the daily. Its better than most of the therapy I've been through. And so honest and hopeful. I'm not sure its about shame as much as fear of dealing with the emotional wreckage. When I book a session, I'm sure you'll have my life in order from house, to wardrobe to interpersonal skills.
Thank you for your kind words. I understand that not everyone can afford some of my services. That is why I offer a wide range of resources for people of all financial backgrounds. I highly recommend trying out my free Emotional Mastery masterclass as it teaches you how to conquer your worst day cycle. thegreatnessu.com/courses
AMEN We can't play the victim
Huge fan of you, you're very self critical and not stuck in a messiah mindset like some can be
That ship has not sailed. We can reparent ourselves. With counseling, self love and defending ourselves, seeking outside help..
Try convincing the court's you're not a victim. Dang, it's hard.
You’re speaking to the codependent. Something that we are in desperate need of . In fact, many channels what even use term
thank you: you’re a man of honest compassion..
Thank you! Didn’t realise how much I shift to victim mentality .
Finally getting your vids in my feed,Kenny
Thanks🦋
Kenny you are so right about everything you said. Thank you
They dont want u to talk n or your opinion ..
Kenny I just wanted to thank you. I find your vulnerability in your imperfections inspiring and humorous at the same time. Thanks for showing how life can be through your presence!
Ooh great explanation and something I have to work out. Thank you. I've been trying to learn from not being the victim and wasn't sure what that looked like so this is so good for me to understand.
I can't Kenny. Your suit, which looks great, matches the couch cushions
He do be matching though
Facts. I can only imagine him hosting a party. "Which room will I spend the most time in? Let me get my outfit ready."
Kenny is a sharp dresser!😊
And the painting too, my goodness….
Wow !! 😢😮ragin
Please do a video about why someone would take a simple remark and make a huge hell of an argument.. and basically go crazy.. and the remarks was not even mean .. but they made it that way.. I don't understand after me being soooo nice to them waiting on them hand and foot.. walking on eggs shells yet I'm wrong I don't get it!!!!
Your fantastic sir
"professional victims"
I started using that phrase many many years ago
Does it mean I’ve already done the work if I’m not blaming them or shaming them.. I acknowledge I have a pattern of being attracted to narcissists mostly because I do feel for them, intrigued by them and I admit at times thought I could help them… but I really just wanted them to self reflect and take ownership of their toxic behaviors. I just need to realize I don’t ‘have’ to stick around to put up with it. It’s really hard to have conversations when you acknowledge your part and the other person just won’t. It’s incredibly invalidating
İ don't believe that that are shame shifters because when some people feel shame they go and get drunk, not pass it onto someone else.
Amen
Wish shame or hurt feelings could be discussed way more, idk bcz it is critical and gets to the point opening irresponsible eyes
Easier ways to work with it
I love your videos Kenny. You are so on point. I'd love to meet you some time, you've helped me so much and you continue to. Question about a thought I had. Would I be correct in saying that a healthy relationship is predominantly an interactive one where a relationship with a narcissist is a reactive one...feeling as if you are on the defensive all the time? Feeling like you constantly have to defend your character because no matter what you do...here comes the condemnation and the shaming. I love your reality analysis. I will use that. Very very helpful Kenny. Thank you again. Now I'm going to rewatch this. Have a great day.
Turns out this is one of the most valuable I've seen so far. This is huge. Life changing piece of advice. Ty Kenny.
Hi agree but I had a job etc when I met the narcisist, I became dependable and became a child, I was kept there in a victim position and I could not leave the pain was to big to leave that person (guilt and shame I felt when I was leaving).
I can see that!
No no no, this feels completely made up. It's not about what you claim.
Please give up examples in these tutorials. Childhood shame- vicious remarks? Mocking? "I wish you were never born; too bad you look like your father's side with a big nose; why are you a dummy?" I feel like I'm missing the last bit of information.
All of that is shaming, it effects your Core Beliefs in how you see yourself.
Any mother that says something like that "is forgetting that she liked his looks enough" TO BREED WITH HIM!!!
Everyone believes something that's not true. Or else we'd have no problems and be perfect.
So the solution is to master my emotions- to understand my emotions? And at the same time not defend myself and not fight back? And also not share it with anybody? I dont get.. I feel I need to fight back because otherwise it stucks inside - all negative emotions..and I even doubt my own perception.. I mean - not fight back by blaming the other but telling the truth out loud..
The solution is to care ONLY ABOUT YOURSELF. Don't give a shit what HAPPENS to him/ her or what they say. Leave , disappear no forwarding address no phone numbers. If you WORRY about ANYTHING about them. YOU ARE CHOOSING TO BE THIER SLAVE/ PUNCHING BAG and you get what you allow
🙏💕
I don't find the masterclass option at 47 a month on the website ..could someone guide me?
No immunity to hurt that Narcissist gives .. in spite of knowing all about Narcissism … and total detachment . The hurt continues
You got to heal yourself, being bitter of them is not the answer at all.
@@lo-ul8nq exactly. All of these angry comments will only dig the hole further
Folks we are not messed up most of us were never shamed as kids . we just met the wrong person end of story. He’s is way off the mark he found a niche ,this is his story not the majority ... if this is your story do the work learn their issues ,and get out . this victim versus victim shit is wrong
You think it is so easy to leave the Narcissist
It isn't easy but you can do it. I did with my x husband.
@@lo-ul8nq will you come and get me my kids back because the I feel how will I fight because he is so tactful and intelligent that I lose fight in my mind before I can actually take up the fight to the court . When I hear that the court does not understand what and who the Narcissist is and do not accept the report from a psychologist on their behaviour
@Rekha Ahluwalia , i had children with my x husband . You gotta stop being so bitter and learn to heal .
This is the exact thing he is talking about. Victim mentality. Please just take the first step. Find good people in your life you can trust. If not seek out professional help. Or read more resources online or even better do all of the above. Talk about ur situation and seek help.
If you want your life back, you can do it.
20:00
🎉🎉🎉🎉