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Well. Do you want to know how two women from the coven of lesbian space witches conceived twin daughters without a father? Watch Sexmission (1984) - a Polish comedy movie that came out when the country was under communist rule (and you couldn't speak straight). Really, it's worth it. You will get your answer!
My favorite thing about this show is how in the first episode the main villain explains that you can't kill a Jedi with lasers or steel, and then every single Jedi in the entire show with the exception of one is killed with a Lightsaber or a knife.
My favorite thing about this show is the fact that I've never seen it, only videos ripping on it because it's lesbian space witch fan fiction. Starship Troopers voice: I'm doin' my part.
Yea doesn’t make sense he can’t feel her through the force and know that’s not the same girl he trained. Writing sucks, Mae just stopped killing jedi and wanted to betray her master then changes her mind😂? Shows awful
Shareholders file lawsuits all the time, the problem, it's the smaller ones, the big ones (who don't spend their own money for the shares like blackrock) don't care.
@@fatcrruise6508 you mean the merch, that is hugging the stores because nobody buys them and the theme parks like the Star Wars Cruiser, that nobody visits? oh, yeah... works fine i guess?
"The bugs are attracted to light" Oh thanks OSHA, I totally didn't get that the first time I saw. It's almost like you're saying this out loud for plot reasons. The writing is so bad.
People keep asking where 180 mil USD went, yet no one suggesting that they could simply be stolen by corrupt showrunners and spend on white powder and drinks. Valid theory in my opinion,
Welcome You are obviously from an alternate timeline in which ep. 7-9 don't exist, how lucky you must have been how miserable must be this new reality, I'll pray to Cthulhu that You kay find back home, never give up also please take me with You 😅
Nah, if they found out that he is dead, the jedi would have had one more reason to actually arrest Qimir, because being a criminal, making the poison that killed a jedi master and him being their only tangible lead to Mae and her master (at that time) obviously wasn't enough for them to do that, for plot reasons. I suppose this was another hint that the jedi are arrogant? Guess the showrunners don't know the difference between arrogance and brain damage.
the writing is about as bad as the CW shows, my only theory is like 90% of the budget went towards the fight choregraphers. still i dont think anything disney has made can beat how dogshit the CW shows became
The jedi masters being fully grown in a time of peace probably don't practice, while jecki is a reckless fighter who literally throws herself at Qimir time and time again. Qimir could also be seen as toying with Jecki, as he readily dispatches everyone except Sol and Jecki, a youth, until his helmet is taken off, at which point he reveals that he's been fighting handicapped this whole time. After his face is revealed he doesn't hesitate to kill jecki or necksnap the other dude. But sure, make it about jecki being female and not about her having some genuinely good choreography
@@mattiascrowe2549it is not logical at all to pretend Jedi *Masters* don’t practice in times of peace and would be so much worse than “just a child.” Be serious. Her choreography was actually genuinely terrible as well. So many times she should have died but didn’t. The fact they killed that Mary Sue at all is the biggest surprise of the whole episode.
They mention 3 hours of daylight left and only reach the wookie house as it gets dark. So when he says take osha back to the ship, he really means walk for 3 hours back to the ship. Remember when star wars had speeders? Also good luck finding your way without that tracker.
Disney forgets about the existence of speeders. Remember, "They fly now?!" Yes, idiots. Stormtroopers on speeder bikes were a whole thing in RotJ. You'd think former stormtrooper Finn would know that and not be shocked.
I mean... I get where you're coming from, but would speeders be a good option in a dense forest? Or can speeders fly above the high trees (actually not sure) As for the tracker... a competent Jedi shouldn't need one to backtrack. But yeah... telling him walk for 3 hours back to the ship seems a bit cruel 😆
Disney have got to stop lying and admit what's painfully obvious - this is either a deliberately bad spite troll project meant for adults, or a sincere attempt at storytelling meant for 10 year old children. There's no middle ground.
The lightsaber fight is actually laughably bad if you examine it beyond, "fast movement looks fancy." There are so many times when someone is open and instead of stabbing with a lightsaber they either do nothing or something less effective. Seriously, watch the fight in slow motion and nonsensical fighting becomes blatantly apparent.
Greg Owen has a good take on this show, in that it is actually made for children... and definitely not adults. It was also made by someone with an infantile mentality... but that's another story.
Star Wars has always been made for children. He had to have an "epiphany" about what has been glaringly obvious for nearly 50 years and that which Lucas explicity stated many times when adults were overly critical of Star Wars. 😂 At least he's up to speed now
Because the OG lightsaber was 3M material on a rotating rod so its effect was real reflections with rotoscoped color added in post. Lightsabers have been underwhelming since Disney took over.
@@DangerB0ne That's exactly the answer I was looking for. Also my recollection is that the sound designer for the original movie was an absolute genius. They are probably reusing his original sounds but they aren't applied with his expertise or creativity.
Because the OG lightsabers were added in post production so had an otherworldly sense to them whereas Disney sabers are giant glow sticks that cosplayers would use (as well as being non-lethal). 😂 Ironic, as Palps would say.
@@TheMovieCynic I suspect that reviewers might believe that the master is the African American woman, but that would go against DEI rules prohibiting minorities being cast as bad guys (Mae mostly not withstanding) so that leaves only one option.
i was disappointed to see some critical channels be easily impressed by the lightsaber fight in episode 5. Thanks for pointing out that ep 5 was just as trashy as the rest of the season and had no redeeming features. Also: Am i the only one who cringed when the Padawan used literal handcuffs to arrest someone?
I didn't watch this garbage lol. I watch people worth watching talk sh*t about it. Would rather stick my manhood in a hornets nest than give these people any view time.
more funny, Mae went to the Wookie den to let herself be arrested... then when another Jedi shows up to, well arrest her... she fights her to almost death... can't make up her mind... that was change of mind number 3 or 5? have lost count...
@@Valen-mh9fh It’s got ADHD because “Reasons”, -So it’s tracking the Wookiee, got jumpscare by May, run around in the forest and found Osha’s flashlight, 🔦 but track May, who never touch it.
Sigh, can't believe I know this: Zipperhead is a racial slur used against people of Vietnamese descent. It came from the idea of running over said people with military vehicles that could be described as a zipper tread. IE, military treads on vehicles run over Vietnamese people, they turned it into a name. I'm not asian or any other eastern heritage and I can't even remember where I know this from.
Amandla puts out a video to get across her point of view for exposure, and then censors anyone who plays it with copyright BS? Makes total sense. Smh...
Amandla deserves an award for biggest backfire of 2024. “You have 72 hours to respond to me playing a victim” then blocks people and strikes videos of people responding to her….. like she asked hahahahahah
Absolutely agree. The claim this is the "best one" is total B.S. It's just as awful as the rest. The useless, disposable jedi with their nonsensical decisions and incompetent fighting are just awful. The sabre proof helmet, the fact the sith guy can throw them around using the force (jedi are supposed to be able to block this with their own powers, which is why you don't see it in the original movies), and so many more silly things ...there is zero consistency. The claim that this one is somehow better is just wrong.
You mean the helmet made of cortosis? The metal that’s been around since Legends? Enough with the fake outrage, if this was an established character like Maul or Grievous people would probably be drooling at the mouth
In the United States, isn't there an institution that investigates company accounts? It's just that all these failures and purposeful loss of money from Disney is more than money laundering. It should be investigated.
Darth Smilo should have been a male triplet that the mother had hidden from the all female coven since birth only to have him survive the fire and seek revenge
He will be. When the twins were getting their hair done in ep 3 one of them says "We're the only kids here!" and the two hairdressers look at each other nervously.
I really hate jedi fights with spins and kicks. The best example of a jedi fight is in the first film when Ben cuts off that guys arm and is done and over in seconds. If you have a material that turns off lightsabers, just make it into a sword. They can parry once and then get stabbed to death.
I don't understand why everyone is saying "at least episode 5 had some good light sabre fights"? They are just awful. Look at them at half speed and you'll see what I mean. It's the throne room fight all over again.
I am sure Disney are money laudering how can this trash cost 180mill? One of the writers said they didn't have enough budget to put the wookie lightsaber fight in😅
I'm no actress but I feel pretty confident I could do better in acting than the main character - I'd at least would react and show different expressions whenever something happens. It reminds me of the part in MSTK where the movie they were watching, they were guessing the main character's expression to random situation they experienced in the movie, and it always was the same answer "Dull Surprise."
What are you talking about, Acolyte is the best star war show ever. I love the part when master Sol faked cough saying "I can't go, I'm sick" then Rue said 'boo, you hoe' to Sol before hang up. So thread.
Having a dark set to have the saber fight is cheap and inmature for a film maker. Its what a starving student film maker does when his budget is $10. Disney laundered over $200 MILLION on that dumpster fire. Where did all the money go? It has to be money laundering. Besides rainbow colored sabers like for the Alphabet Mafia flag? Ridiculous.
Sadly as long as the people at Lucasfilm are still in charge, and the idiots on twitter keep supporting it, nothing shy of Disney going bankrupt will stop this.
Disney won't actually go bankrupt because blackrock and similarly linked companies are funding them to destroy their own works. It'll only stop once everything is sufficiently broken.
@@johnl5316no he doesn't. Read the sentence out loud using the commas as slight pauses. Reads and sounds fine to me. A comma after sadly would be more natural though.
Here's a question Cynic (and for everyone else too): What was the last Star Wars property you were truly excited for? Not in the perverse, we're going to roast the hell out of this thing, cynical manner, but in the legit, I can't wait to see that manner?
Well, my parents who are non star wars fan dislike star wars overall. Thye like 4,5,6 but they dislike ep 1,2,3 even 7,8,9 So for me, honestly star wars are bad anyway. Its nothing to do with the show. It just hard to make a Good star wars to please everyone.
For me it was season 7 of The Clone Wars, and after about 4 weeks of season 1 for Star Wars Rebels being aired, I decided to give that a try; man that was a fun show to watch. Every time a season was announced I was excited to watch more adventures with the Ghost crew.
I was pleased with the bad batch, clone wars final season, and mandalorian season 1 and 2. I was also very excited for Ahsoka, but it certainly didn’t meet my expectations.
the only thing I can even think of for the ''headbutt'' is Cortosis from expanded universe content, it is known to not only be lightsaber resistant but even capable of shorting out lightsabers entierly...so much for NOT taking anything from EU cannon am I right?
Lucasfilm has rights to establish the canon, they deem right to the entire franchise. As Goerge Lucas Said, anything that is not made into a movie ("live action") is not canon. So when cortosis are there, It is now a canon
I hate the show but it’s very clearly supposed to be Cortosis, its effects are such, it’s brittle , copper colored, etc. ppl saying it isn’t are trying to hard to hate it, when the hate for the show should just come naturally
To be fair, George Lucas already established that bad Star Wars writing when he had little Anakin narrate everything we already saw him doing. Still, The Colyte "sucks ass" on a whole new level.
im against this show as much as the next guy and think its really poorly made but the headbutt absolutely made sense, the guys helmet was made out of cortosis which when made in contact with a lightsaber short circuits it/shutting it off. Its actually a cannon material that the show didn't just make up for plot convenience.
@@and3ie941 i am not a big star wars fan, or at least of the legacy content but it just looked silly. also the idea of a metal "short circuiting" plasma which is a gas, is kinda comical ngl i guess if the metal had a charge to it that interrupted the energy state of the plasma to offest the ions and electrons that make it plasma would make sense for why the metal can interrupt the lightsaber. This just feels like a lot to justify someone headbutting a lightsaber and trying to make it look cool when it really doesnt lol
@@and3ie941 the problem with taking something out of canon/EU is, if you only take the one thing, you want it to be and ignore its other properties/bad qualities like in that case, Cortosis is too brittle to be worked into armor, like for example bracelets or a helmet...
"...the connection she had forged with Bane over 20 years, was strong enough to stretch across the breadth of the galaxy. She would feel his death no matter where or when it happened. Seth had only been her apprentice for a few days. She would sense him if he was in close proximity, as she would ANY individual who possessed a powerful affinity for the force...". Yet a Jedi master can't sense his apprentice, who was literally birthed by the force, when she's a few feet away from him🚮.
The fight was honestly pretty bad; it was full of purposely missed swings, questionable tactics, fighters acting like they are in a turn-based rpg, and usage of unforeshadowed/unexplained game-changing equipment and powers.
The forearms of the mystery Sith gave it away... It's like when Luke met Yoda for the first time and how Yoda was annoying and goofy. But, there is another...the Master...one of the Mothers... It's the HIGH Republic so it's kind of expected. 🤣 The episode was a calmity of people getting knocked out and missing each other by moments. Plus the fight scenes though good at first glance falls apart on analysis. It's the Patty Duke Show in space... They look alike and act alike and sometimes even talk alike. You could lose your mind...Two of a kind... The hair cut scene was dumb... May never held a light saber before especially the Wookie's saber to make that precision cut. Disney will regret killing Jackie off and the number of plot holes like why didn't Jackie use the Wookie lightsaber when she lost one Cortosis armor was such a shock to fans they had to look it up since it didn't behave like beskar. I think cortosis is a High Republic thing. I'm over Disney Star Wars as a fan but I will always be a George Lucas Star Wars Fan.
I remember 2001: A Space Odyssey crediting the audience with the intelligence of working out HAL could read lips. Now they think we're ape men hitting each other with bones until Disney drops the exposition monolith.
Thank you for calling out how ridiculous it is to make the teen padawan the second most capable fighter among a group of jedis. I criticized this in other comment sections and people told me that I am nitpicking and that I don't have "media literacy", because apparently making a teenage padawan extremely skilled for no reason and without previously mentioning it, to the point she made actual fully trained jedi look incompetent, is great "show, don't tell" storytelling.
The only surprising thing about the reveal of Smylo Ren was how jacked Manny Jacinto was. I wasn't expecting that when the obvious Manny Jacinto revealed he was, in fact, Manny Jacinto.
Wait a minute Why didn't Master Sol arrest Qimir in the potion shop He clearly was complicit in the murder of a jedi an accomplice they should have took him back Curosant to stand trial
Andor, Rogue One, Jedi Fallen Order and its sequel are the only Star Wars I’m still invested in at this point. While flawed in parts, they are the only films and series that respect the lore, have compelling characters and writing while keeping nostalgia to a minimum and focused on compelling story telling. The rest is, at best, terrible fan fiction or at worst the Acolyte and the Sequels which are determined to break the franchise, fuel culture wars and insult the lore. For me these films and series simply don’t exist.
@@mattckwilliams He means the novels and books that were considered non-canon after Disney got the rights and decided to do what we got now which is complete and utter crap (other than Andor, Rogue One and the Jedi games out now that you just mentioned which are actually good) So much material that could have been used and what really kills me the most is they are actually using some of the expanded universe, hello Kylo Ren is called Ben and that's not just a reference to Obi-Wan, in the EU Han and Leia have more than one child and one of them is named Ben, I could continue but that would take forever, my point is that Disney lied about what they said they would do and did a whole 360 and now we got shit like the Acolyte (Don't forget that the show runner Leslye Headland was Harvey Weinstein's personal assistant and with the SA allegations against him now, makes you wonder if she was also a part of it, like setting up the times for certain actress's to go and "visit" Harvey) As far as I am concerned, Star Wars ended with episode VI and the other stuff like Acolyte is a dream we had with a 109 degree fever
Acolyte \AK-uh-lyte\ noun. 1 : one who assists a member of the clergy in a liturgical service by performing minor duties. 2 : one who attends or assists a leader : follower. - google description the term "Acolyte".
Most of that lightsaber battle is people swinging across their target's body to attack the saber blade (for the plot), or wildly missing (for the plot), or just waiting for their turn to do something (for the plot), or the best, kicking while their enemy is open instead of using their blade (for the plot). The latter is usually exposing their leg to a VERY easy defensive cut that would instantly dis-leg them. So while it is flashy, it is choreographed as well as this show is written. In two scenes towards the end of the episode, two lightsaber blades just magically pass through each other (for the plot), while one bounces off Smylo's arm-guard WITHOUT disabling the blade (for the plot). This is pure contrivance served with a side of cringe. I do love how they just stumble away and leave all the lightsabers and helmet behind. It proves how there were no thinking adults on the set. They must have hired DEI craft services as well, otherwise someone would have asked WTF?!? With the introduction of Pure Cortosis into the lore (Jedi database) and Sith, this is the worst episode so far. At least we have three more, so that title will soon be lost.
Do you have any idea how much of a pain in the arse it is to build one of those rope snares,was osha a bloody Boy Scout, where the fuck did she get all that rope
I bailed after ep 2, after the reviews went back for ep 3 - wow, it is just bad storytelling, featuring bad actors. As a fan of The Critical Drinker, it seems like you’ve picked up and excelled in the comedy criticism space. Keep crushing it - and thank you!!🎉🎉🎉
This episode was being touted as the best episode of the series just made me scoff. The writing for the show is still garbage! it's the embodiment of polishing Turd. One "good" episode does not change the fact that its foundations (the writing) are built on absolutely nothing solid and stable.
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GREAT THE MOVIE CYNIC THE ACOLYTE SERIES HOT 🔥 GARBAGE REVIEW 😂😂😂😂
love your videos keep up the good work
Well. Do you want to know how two women from the coven of lesbian space witches conceived twin daughters without a father? Watch Sexmission (1984) - a Polish comedy movie that came out when the country was under communist rule (and you couldn't speak straight). Really, it's worth it. You will get your answer!
My favorite thing about this show is how in the first episode the main villain explains that you can't kill a Jedi with lasers or steel, and then every single Jedi in the entire show with the exception of one is killed with a Lightsaber or a knife.
My favorite thing about this show is the fact that I've never seen it, only videos ripping on it because it's lesbian space witch fan fiction.
Starship Troopers voice: I'm doin' my part.
You don't get it dude. That's the point. It's deep.
and the one missing out committed suicide 🤯
ugh. Did Vivziepop write this lore?
I deserve a medal I managed 2 episodes before leaving for sanity reasons.
If a jedi master can be tricked by an Olson twin movie, then there really is little hope for this franchise
Not to mention the GIANT KRIFFING FORCE TATOO on the forehead
@@koLdZ1 and the tattoo on the other girl on the upper arm... jeeeesh
Yea doesn’t make sense he can’t feel her through the force and know that’s not the same girl he trained. Writing sucks, Mae just stopped killing jedi and wanted to betray her master then changes her mind😂? Shows awful
@@belegur8108 And, you know, the fact they established that Sol can read minds and can EASILY realize that's not Osha.
This foreshadows the fall of the Jedi.
Why Disney shareholders haven’t filed a suit seeking an accounting for the budget(s) of Disney’s recent shows is beyond me.
The Shareholders want this
the shows budget are nothing as to keep the franchise alive, so they can milk money from merchandises, events, and their theme parks.
Shareholders file lawsuits all the time, the problem, it's the smaller ones, the big ones (who don't spend their own money for the shares like blackrock) don't care.
@@MeltonCrest Why don't you use periods. The commas don't work
@@fatcrruise6508 you mean the merch, that is hugging the stores because nobody buys them and the theme parks like the Star Wars Cruiser, that nobody visits? oh, yeah... works fine i guess?
-" Hi, my name is Davillian and Im a completely normal bystander."
-Disney trying to make a plot twist.
Almost as bad as "Harriet Arbinger" from the new Doctor Who season.
Hey it worked for Tadd Strange in Gravity Falls
Hey my name is Nott E. Will, how do you do fellow protagonists?
Come on guys, stop being so easily misled.
The REAL culprit...is RED HERRING!
But Sir Lie A. Lot would never tell .... a lie !!!
I feel like comparing Amandla's acting to that gorgeous goat is a bit unfair. The goat gave it all of its animal's range and feelings.
That was the GOAT
"The bugs are attracted to light"
Oh thanks OSHA, I totally didn't get that the first time I saw. It's almost like you're saying this out loud for plot reasons.
The writing is so bad.
Yet they didn't attack everyone during the lightsaber fight 😒
@@nathanielbables8652 the bugs weren't in that section of the forest tbf... she had to lure them there
She is the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, so I felt she had to tell people there were bugs there.
Nothing bad about it 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah, I think Kamala Harris wrote some of the dialogue.
People keep asking where 180 mil USD went, yet no one suggesting that they could simply be stolen by corrupt showrunners and spend on white powder and drinks. Valid theory in my opinion,
Nah if they were on white powder the show would be good
All these shitty Marvel and Star Wars shows are money laundering projects and nothing more.
Maybe Headland invested in a casting couch of her very own
Apparently the show went through a lot of reshoots, that can't be cheap.
Even then, 180m is ridiculously high for this.
That's what I was thinking
RIP Star Wars 1977-2015
1977-2015 * fixed
Welcome You are obviously from an alternate timeline in which ep. 7-9 don't exist, how lucky you must have been how miserable must be this new reality, I'll pray to Cthulhu that You kay find back home, never give up also please take me with You 😅
@@537zun4 I fixed it 😭
@@BlackGold-fc7tu thank you sir
Bro Star Wars died when Episode 1 came out. From that point in it's just been necrophilia
Apparently, 50 million went to the pre-production of the show. In other words, they'd spent 50 million dollars before shooting a second of film.
How many bottles of chardonnay were downed in the writers' room... catered too of course
Disney is trashing Star Wars and Marvel both. Please stop giving them money for it.
also can we at least get a missing ad on a milk carton for the local apothecary that just went missing and nobody bothered to investigate?
Nah, if they found out that he is dead, the jedi would have had one more reason to actually arrest Qimir, because being a criminal, making the poison that killed a jedi master and him being their only tangible lead to Mae and her master (at that time) obviously wasn't enough for them to do that, for plot reasons. I suppose this was another hint that the jedi are arrogant? Guess the showrunners don't know the difference between arrogance and brain damage.
why didn't Master Sol arrest Qimir then????
@@wegojinx7053because the writers cant write their way out of a wet paper bag without breaking some part of the universe
Probably the wrong gender and colour for anyone to care about 😂
I'm genuinely shocked that before smile-o Ren started slaying jedi, he didn't say, "My lightsaber hits will kill you."
They could've showed him switching the safety off on the saber. 😂
That OJ clip...
Rott In Hell OJ.
that gave me real chills...
$180 million and it does feel like CW
Yes but of the actors are gay and no white males in sight
the movie CW to be precise
the writing is about as bad as the CW shows, my only theory is like 90% of the budget went towards the fight choregraphers.
still i dont think anything disney has made can beat how dogshit the CW shows became
@@6-dpegasus425 budget went to lgbtq salaries
so Davillian killed 6 *male* jedi masters with no effort, but struggled with one *female* jedi padawan.
There were 2 female Jedi Masters that he killed during that fight.
The jedi masters being fully grown in a time of peace probably don't practice, while jecki is a reckless fighter who literally throws herself at Qimir time and time again.
Qimir could also be seen as toying with Jecki, as he readily dispatches everyone except Sol and Jecki, a youth, until his helmet is taken off, at which point he reveals that he's been fighting handicapped this whole time. After his face is revealed he doesn't hesitate to kill jecki or necksnap the other dude.
But sure, make it about jecki being female and not about her having some genuinely good choreography
@@mattiascrowe2549it is not logical at all to pretend Jedi *Masters* don’t practice in times of peace and would be so much worse than “just a child.” Be serious.
Her choreography was actually genuinely terrible as well. So many times she should have died but didn’t. The fact they killed that Mary Sue at all is the biggest surprise of the whole episode.
They mention 3 hours of daylight left and only reach the wookie house as it gets dark.
So when he says take osha back to the ship, he really means walk for 3 hours back to the ship.
Remember when star wars had speeders?
Also good luck finding your way without that tracker.
Disney forgets about the existence of speeders. Remember, "They fly now?!"
Yes, idiots. Stormtroopers on speeder bikes were a whole thing in RotJ. You'd think former stormtrooper Finn would know that and not be shocked.
I mean... I get where you're coming from, but would speeders be a good option in a dense forest? Or can speeders fly above the high trees (actually not sure) As for the tracker... a competent Jedi shouldn't need one to backtrack.
But yeah... telling him walk for 3 hours back to the ship seems a bit cruel 😆
Disney have got to stop lying and admit what's painfully obvious - this is either a deliberately bad spite troll project meant for adults, or a sincere attempt at storytelling meant for 10 year old children. There's no middle ground.
The lightsaber fight is actually laughably bad if you examine it beyond, "fast movement looks fancy." There are so many times when someone is open and instead of stabbing with a lightsaber they either do nothing or something less effective. Seriously, watch the fight in slow motion and nonsensical fighting becomes blatantly apparent.
So it's like the "Rey & Darth Ugly Vs the Red dancing team" ?? LoL
Yep, or they just spin their lightsabers to no effect other than to have "flashy lights go brrrrrrrrr"
Disney "fight" scenes are interpretive dance choreographies
To be fair, it's still better than the disaster that we call the Disney Trilogy's lightsaber fights.
@@AzureRoxe that’s an insanely low bar.
Anyone meme the clip in Spaceballs where Lone Starr can't cut through Dark Helmets' helmet??😂😂😂
if it means disney going out of business, i'm all for them making more bad decisions like this
Smiley Gimp the perfect "Sith" name
Greg Owen has a good take on this show, in that it is actually made for children... and definitely not adults. It was also made by someone with an infantile mentality... but that's another story.
Star Wars has always been made for children. He had to have an "epiphany" about what has been glaringly obvious for nearly 50 years and that which Lucas explicity stated many times when adults were overly critical of Star Wars. 😂
At least he's up to speed now
It was made for infantilists.
Why do the light sabers look and sound better in the original 1977 movie vs. a $180 million series with state of the art CGI?
Because the OG lightsaber was 3M material on a rotating rod so its effect was real reflections with rotoscoped color added in post. Lightsabers have been underwhelming since Disney took over.
They should start doing it Like Back then was soo much better 😅😅
@@DangerB0ne That's exactly the answer I was looking for. Also my recollection is that the sound designer for the original movie was an absolute genius. They are probably reusing his original sounds but they aren't applied with his expertise or creativity.
Because the OG lightsabers were added in post production so had an otherworldly sense to them whereas Disney sabers are giant glow sticks that cosplayers would use (as well as being non-lethal). 😂
Ironic, as Palps would say.
@@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017lookup the genesis of some of the sound effects from the OT, really cool and unexpected.
Anakin killing younglings- “man they sure dont make em like they used to” 😂
ROTS was peak
Little Platoon is HALF-RIGHT: It IS white Maul, but she's higher up in the food chain. "Discount Ezra Miller" is her APPRENTICE.
Jason from The Good Place.
Indeed! I bet you’re right. I predicted that scenario at the end of the video after his face reveal.
@@TheMovieCynic I suspect that reviewers might believe that the master is the African American woman, but that would go against DEI rules prohibiting minorities being cast as bad guys (Mae mostly not withstanding) so that leaves only one option.
It has to be. There's gotta be a reason we spent so much time on that backstory. It's gonna be absolutely ridiculous either way
@@ZenMonkeyGod I agree.
I'm going to make a video laying out my theory about that soon.
i was disappointed to see some critical channels be easily impressed by the lightsaber fight in episode 5. Thanks for pointing out that ep 5 was just as trashy as the rest of the season and had no redeeming features.
Also: Am i the only one who cringed when the Padawan used literal handcuffs to arrest someone?
I didn't watch this garbage lol. I watch people worth watching talk sh*t about it. Would rather stick my manhood in a hornets nest than give these people any view time.
more funny, Mae went to the Wookie den to let herself be arrested... then when another Jedi shows up to, well arrest her... she fights her to almost death... can't make up her mind... that was change of mind number 3 or 5? have lost count...
SPACE handcuffs dude. They were glowy. That's how you know they're fancy super-handcuffs.
Turning the jedi into a police force was cringiest decision they made.
Bro, for I felt the same way the combat is nowhere near that of the sequels or even the prequels
I like how the tracker is tracking the wrong sister who never touched the flashlight…… that’s the true mystery ending no one can solve.
Was he/they given new instructions as I thought he was meant to find the Wookie?
Not that it matters, this show is dumb and stuff just happens.
@@Valen-mh9fh
It’s got ADHD because “Reasons”,
-So it’s tracking the Wookiee, got jumpscare by May, run around in the forest and found Osha’s flashlight, 🔦 but track May, who never touch it.
Gotta appreciate the subtle racism in giving the asian villain a literal zipperhead for a helmet.
im asian and i found that hilarious man💀💀💀
I don't get the reference, is it some kind of stereotype I've never heard of?
Asian but I don't get it
Sigh, can't believe I know this: Zipperhead is a racial slur used against people of Vietnamese descent. It came from the idea of running over said people with military vehicles that could be described as a zipper tread. IE, military treads on vehicles run over Vietnamese people, they turned it into a name.
I'm not asian or any other eastern heritage and I can't even remember where I know this from.
@@joshingblock Wait is op calling me Vietnamese
OH NOW IT'S ON
'Lizzo lifting' lmao.
“Darth Dominatrix” is one hell of a line
Amandla puts out a video to get across her point of view for exposure, and then censors anyone who plays it with copyright BS? Makes total sense. Smh...
I'm guessing that Darth Ginsu is an apprentice and the real big bad is yet to be seen and will be female.
I thought only good characters were female. I bet it's a white male. No, cause then they'd have to have a white male in their show.
No you can't make the big bad a female. It has to be a white male
my guess and here i say it first: they go with the BBE in the background is Darth Plagious .... and female !😭😱
@@belegur8108 if they make plagueis female I will actually lose my.shit ae
Don't give them ideas! 😆
Amandla deserves an award for biggest backfire of 2024. “You have 72 hours to respond to me playing a victim” then blocks people and strikes videos of people responding to her….. like she asked hahahahahah
Absolutely agree. The claim this is the "best one" is total B.S. It's just as awful as the rest. The useless, disposable jedi with their nonsensical decisions and incompetent fighting are just awful. The sabre proof helmet, the fact the sith guy can throw them around using the force (jedi are supposed to be able to block this with their own powers, which is why you don't see it in the original movies), and so many more silly things ...there is zero consistency. The claim that this one is somehow better is just wrong.
You mean the helmet made of cortosis? The metal that’s been around since Legends? Enough with the fake outrage, if this was an established character like Maul or Grievous people would probably be drooling at the mouth
It may not be good, but it's a lot better than 3 and 4
In the United States, isn't there an institution that investigates company accounts? It's just that all these failures and purposeful loss of money from Disney is more than money laundering. It should be investigated.
The government is ran by the most corrupt administration in the past 45 yrs.
IRS
Disney supports a political party with ties to certain agencies.
@BumfluffAddlepate look up what the SEC actually does before you regurgitate nonsense
@@BumfluffAddlepate what securities fraud are you alleging?
Darth Smilo should have been a male triplet that the mother had hidden from the all female coven since birth only to have him survive the fire and seek revenge
He will be. When the twins were getting their hair done in ep 3 one of them says "We're the only kids here!" and the two hairdressers look at each other nervously.
I really hate jedi fights with spins and kicks.
The best example of a jedi fight is in the first film when Ben cuts off that guys arm and is done and over in seconds.
If you have a material that turns off lightsabers, just make it into a sword. They can parry once and then get stabbed to death.
I don't understand why everyone is saying "at least episode 5 had some good light sabre fights"? They are just awful. Look at them at half speed and you'll see what I mean. It's the throne room fight all over again.
I just assume that any new star wars show is crap and save myself the time to watch these reviews.
Same. Been doing that for years.
I am sure Disney are money laudering how can this trash cost 180mill? One of the writers said they didn't have enough budget to put the wookie lightsaber fight in😅
I'm no actress but I feel pretty confident I could do better in acting than the main character - I'd at least would react and show different expressions whenever something happens.
It reminds me of the part in MSTK where the movie they were watching, they were guessing the main character's expression to random situation they experienced in the movie, and it always was the same answer "Dull Surprise."
What are you talking about, Acolyte is the best star war show ever.
I love the part when master Sol faked cough saying "I can't go, I'm sick" then Rue said 'boo, you hoe' to Sol before hang up. So thread.
Brilliant writing ✍️
Having a dark set to have the saber fight is cheap and inmature for a film maker. Its what a starving student film maker does when his budget is $10. Disney laundered over $200 MILLION on that dumpster fire. Where did all the money go? It has to be money laundering. Besides rainbow colored sabers like for the Alphabet Mafia flag? Ridiculous.
There's 3 episodes left, and we STILL haven't seen a space battle yet....in a STAR WARS show.
George Lucas why did you sell your treasure to greedy pirates 😩😩
Apparently the numbers from The Acolyte are worse globally, than Asohka’s numbers domestically (US) and that wasn’t exactly a runaway success!
people who are non star wars fans never into the series overall. It just happen because they are growing up with rebel series
Strangely I've only managed it to episode 2 in both series before giving up for sanity reasons.
Deep pockets. This money is going to gold pencils and toilet seats.
Don't forget the professional fluffer for Weinstien's protegé(?).
@@liamrichardson6830 do you mean hw acolyte?
Sadly as long as the people at Lucasfilm are still in charge, and the idiots on twitter keep supporting it, nothing shy of Disney going bankrupt will stop this.
You need a period after 'it' and a capitalized N in 'nothing'
Disney won't actually go bankrupt because blackrock and similarly linked companies are funding them to destroy their own works. It'll only stop once everything is sufficiently broken.
@johnl5316 ..no he doesn't. If anything, all he "needs" is a comma after sadly.
@@johnl5316no he doesn't. Read the sentence out loud using the commas as slight pauses. Reads and sounds fine to me.
A comma after sadly would be more natural though.
Here's a question Cynic (and for everyone else too): What was the last Star Wars property you were truly excited for? Not in the perverse, we're going to roast the hell out of this thing, cynical manner, but in the legit, I can't wait to see that manner?
Rogue One
Well, my parents who are non star wars fan dislike star wars overall. Thye like 4,5,6 but they dislike ep 1,2,3 even 7,8,9 So for me, honestly star wars are bad anyway. Its nothing to do with the show. It just hard to make a Good star wars to please everyone.
For me it was season 7 of The Clone Wars, and after about 4 weeks of season 1 for Star Wars Rebels being aired, I decided to give that a try; man that was a fun show to watch. Every time a season was announced I was excited to watch more adventures with the Ghost crew.
Last time I was excited was before force awakens came out. That was te last time
I was pleased with the bad batch, clone wars final season, and mandalorian season 1 and 2. I was also very excited for Ahsoka, but it certainly didn’t meet my expectations.
the only thing I can even think of for the ''headbutt'' is Cortosis from expanded universe content, it is known to not only be lightsaber resistant but even capable of shorting out lightsabers entierly...so much for NOT taking anything from EU cannon am I right?
Doubt they even thought of that, it just looked nice.
Lucasfilm has rights to establish the canon, they deem right to the entire franchise. As Goerge Lucas Said, anything that is not made into a movie ("live action") is not canon. So when cortosis are there, It is now a canon
I think you give them to much credit
I hate the show but it’s very clearly supposed to be Cortosis, its effects are such, it’s brittle , copper colored, etc. ppl saying it isn’t are trying to hard to hate it, when the hate for the show should just come naturally
don't forget the last attribute Cortosis has... it is so brittle, it CAN'T BE FORGED INTO ARMOR!
They're fricken high if they think anyone in their right mind would consider this garbage canon.
Lol u call him Darth Gimp i thought i was the only one ..lol...very funny 😂😂😂
I can't wait to see the power of many
Where did all of Mae's hair come from, it seems like she grew 1000000000000000000000 new strands that grew 2 feet in like 2 weeks!
Force Hair Grow ™
@@GuiltlessGear Force Follicle! 😂
To be fair, George Lucas already established that bad Star Wars writing when he had little Anakin narrate everything we already saw him doing. Still, The Colyte "sucks ass" on a whole new level.
That overly-dramatic pose after the lightsaber hair-chopping moment made me cringe so hard my buttPuckeredShut🙄
i facepalmed seeing that headbutt nonsense lol
im against this show as much as the next guy and think its really poorly made but the headbutt absolutely made sense, the guys helmet was made out of cortosis which when made in contact with a lightsaber short circuits it/shutting it off. Its actually a cannon material that the show didn't just make up for plot convenience.
@@and3ie941 i am not a big star wars fan, or at least of the legacy content but it just looked silly. also the idea of a metal "short circuiting" plasma which is a gas, is kinda comical ngl
i guess if the metal had a charge to it that interrupted the energy state of the plasma to offest the ions and electrons that make it plasma would make sense for why the metal can interrupt the lightsaber. This just feels like a lot to justify someone headbutting a lightsaber and trying to make it look cool when it really doesnt lol
That was by far the most okay thing this whole show lol. It's a well known and established metal in legends lore
@@anubisgod23 oh im not saying something stupid like this is worth not watching the show over, just something i felt was funny to comment on
@@and3ie941 the problem with taking something out of canon/EU is, if you only take the one thing, you want it to be and ignore its other properties/bad qualities like in that case, Cortosis is too brittle to be worked into armor, like for example bracelets or a helmet...
"...the connection she had forged with Bane over 20 years, was strong enough to stretch across the breadth of the galaxy. She would feel his death no matter where or when it happened. Seth had only been her apprentice for a few days. She would sense him if he was in close proximity, as she would ANY individual who possessed a powerful affinity for the force...". Yet a Jedi master can't sense his apprentice, who was literally birthed by the force, when she's a few feet away from him🚮.
He also blocks with his bare forearms 😂
No no didn’t you see? He has a 1 inch wide band of cool plot armour that he manages to block like three shots with on his arm because it looks cool
If only it was Darth Dominatrix.
The wookie Jedi looks like someone in a bigfoot costume. $180 million, seriously?
The fight was honestly pretty bad; it was full of purposely missed swings, questionable tactics, fighters acting like they are in a turn-based rpg, and usage of unforeshadowed/unexplained game-changing equipment and powers.
The forearms of the mystery Sith gave it away...
It's like when Luke met Yoda for the first time and how Yoda was annoying and goofy.
But, there is another...the Master...one of the Mothers...
It's the HIGH Republic so it's kind of expected. 🤣
The episode was a calmity of people getting knocked out and missing each other by moments.
Plus the fight scenes though good at first glance falls apart on analysis.
It's the Patty Duke Show in space...
They look alike and act alike and sometimes even talk alike.
You could lose your mind...Two of a kind...
The hair cut scene was dumb...
May never held a light saber before especially the Wookie's saber to make that precision cut.
Disney will regret killing Jackie off and the number of plot holes like why didn't Jackie use the Wookie lightsaber when she lost one
Cortosis armor was such a shock to fans they had to look it up since it didn't behave like beskar.
I think cortosis is a High Republic thing.
I'm over Disney Star Wars as a fan but I will always be a George Lucas Star Wars Fan.
I remember 2001: A Space Odyssey crediting the audience with the intelligence of working out HAL could read lips.
Now they think we're ape men hitting each other with bones until Disney drops the exposition monolith.
Thank you for calling out how ridiculous it is to make the teen padawan the second most capable fighter among a group of jedis. I criticized this in other comment sections and people told me that I am nitpicking and that I don't have "media literacy", because apparently making a teenage padawan extremely skilled for no reason and without previously mentioning it, to the point she made actual fully trained jedi look incompetent, is great "show, don't tell" storytelling.
The only surprising thing about the reveal of Smylo Ren was how jacked Manny Jacinto was. I wasn't expecting that when the obvious Manny Jacinto revealed he was, in fact, Manny Jacinto.
man, i rly like manny jacinto. i knew what would happen, but i was rly hoping for this to be big for him.
You could stop watching it and they’d stop making it
I see you have the Red Bulls ready in the fridge for episode 6. 4 ought to be enough.
Clearly there is money laundering involved here of some sort.
Do you think he was carrying around his gimp costume in the bags he was carrying? I meaan that helmet was pretty bulky.
She makes wooden actors look like Marlon friggin Brando.
Maybe the budget went to the english class master Squidgame had to follow.
Ooooorrrr a personal bankaccount of Lesbian Headland in the Cayman islands.
I wonder if the shareholders ever felt disappointed or regret at some point of their life.
Wait a minute Why didn't Master Sol arrest Qimir in the potion shop He clearly was complicit in the murder of a jedi an accomplice they should have took him back Curosant to stand trial
9:14 Not The Goofy Scream 🤣
Someone is pocketing the cash.
I love to see a movie about Darth Malgus
she can act AND make music. im genuinely impressed
WAIT. She wakes up at the beginning and is knocked out at the end? Did this episode happen, or is it an illusion? All these characters may be alive.
Andor, Rogue One, Jedi Fallen Order and its sequel are the only Star Wars I’m still invested in at this point. While flawed in parts, they are the only films and series that respect the lore, have compelling characters and writing while keeping nostalgia to a minimum and focused on compelling story telling. The rest is, at best, terrible fan fiction or at worst the Acolyte and the Sequels which are determined to break the franchise, fuel culture wars and insult the lore. For me these films and series simply don’t exist.
it seems you dislike the expand universe storyline then
@@fatcrruise6508 Haven't watched it yet.
@@mattckwilliams He means the novels and books that were considered non-canon after Disney got the rights and decided to do what we got now which is complete and utter crap (other than Andor, Rogue One and the Jedi games out now that you just mentioned which are actually good)
So much material that could have been used and what really kills me the most is they are actually using some of the expanded universe, hello Kylo Ren is called Ben and that's not just a reference to Obi-Wan, in the EU Han and Leia have more than one child and one of them is named Ben, I could continue but that would take forever, my point is that Disney lied about what they said they would do and did a whole 360 and now we got shit like the Acolyte
(Don't forget that the show runner Leslye Headland was Harvey Weinstein's personal assistant and with the SA allegations against him now, makes you wonder if she was also a part of it, like setting up the times for certain actress's to go and "visit" Harvey)
As far as I am concerned, Star Wars ended with episode VI and the other stuff like Acolyte is a dream we had with a 109 degree fever
that Shith lord was headbutting the lightsaber reboot buttons....
Acolyte \AK-uh-lyte\ noun. 1 : one who assists a member of the clergy in a liturgical service by performing minor duties. 2 : one who attends or assists a leader : follower. - google description the term "Acolyte".
and in Star Wars EU a title used by the Sith for their padawans.
The Acolyte is literally soo stupid it’s not something to take seriously.
Most of that lightsaber battle is people swinging across their target's body to attack the saber blade (for the plot), or wildly missing (for the plot), or just waiting for their turn to do something (for the plot), or the best, kicking while their enemy is open instead of using their blade (for the plot). The latter is usually exposing their leg to a VERY easy defensive cut that would instantly dis-leg them. So while it is flashy, it is choreographed as well as this show is written. In two scenes towards the end of the episode, two lightsaber blades just magically pass through each other (for the plot), while one bounces off Smylo's arm-guard WITHOUT disabling the blade (for the plot). This is pure contrivance served with a side of cringe. I do love how they just stumble away and leave all the lightsabers and helmet behind. It proves how there were no thinking adults on the set. They must have hired DEI craft services as well, otherwise someone would have asked WTF?!?
With the introduction of Pure Cortosis into the lore (Jedi database) and Sith, this is the worst episode so far. At least we have three more, so that title will soon be lost.
Stop it! the acolyte is a masterpiece you’re wrong! IS what i would’ve said if it wasn’t a piece of 💩
They should stop. Star Wars is dead. Its uncivilized.
A sith was defeated by putting a flash light on its back.. someone was hired to write that.
PLOT TWIST! He returns! Somehow!
@@ZenMonkeyGod With an army of alien bugs.
Headland said it was supposed to be obvious that it's Manny.
I'm like... nawww.
That Diddy lightsaber comment slayed me😆
He’ll yeah been waiting for you to upload !!!
Do you have any idea how much of a pain in the arse it is to build one of those rope snares,was osha a bloody Boy Scout, where the fuck did she get all that rope
Darth Gimp, could this have been any more true to life? Gimp suit for a gimp show
I can sum up Disney with an image: Village People dressed as Jedi
i'd much rather watch funny disco jedi than this slop
I bailed after ep 2, after the reviews went back for ep 3 - wow, it is just bad storytelling, featuring bad actors. As a fan of The Critical Drinker, it seems like you’ve picked up and excelled in the comedy criticism space. Keep crushing it - and thank you!!🎉🎉🎉
Darth Dentures looks like a Chainsaw Man character. (derogatory)
Does anyone know what guitar rift was played at 4:01? I would love to learn it
Episode 5 was pretty dope outside of that ass show 😂
This episode was being touted as the best episode of the series just made me scoff. The writing for the show is still garbage! it's the embodiment of polishing Turd. One "good" episode does not change the fact that its foundations (the writing) are built on absolutely nothing solid and stable.